* Negotiation Helping you build successful agreements and partnerships (oleor AS AY ' ; Manage your anxiety and overconfidence The very thought of negotiating can make us nervous—yet we also can be too sure of ourselves. Rise above these seemingly contradictory pitfalls. eee pana Tee that xpced to te sevral or leger torpedo eaecgope of fre ec and pring bak femasth nee bot pos ines hee nee ii bata ck as me ae al oes ie et eee mt the process, he pats you on the back an ‘ow would you feel in such a scenario? Ifyou're like most people, the prospect of taking on such a heavy responsibility and being center stage—is likely to inspire a serious case of prenegotiation jitters. For most of us, the very concept of ne ation is inextricably linked with anxi ety. The prospect of haggling for a new car, negotiating a starting salary, hashing out a legal settlement, or working out a serious is- ‘sue with a loved one can trigger nerves and the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, But consider a seemingly contradictory fact: most people have unrealistic expecta. tions of how they will perform in nego- tiations. Typically overconfident of their ability to reach an agreement, they end up feeling disappointed and confused when the process doesn't go as planned How can negotiator anxiety and over- confiderice coexist, and what steps can we | take to overcome their perils? This article suggests methods for becoming a calmer and more realistic negotiator. Negotiator anxiety Oddly enough, given widespread anecdotal evidence ofthe prevalence of negotiator anxi cays, “Just don't mess it up.” ty litle research has studied the phenome non. In a 2004 article in Negotiation, however, Harvard Business School professor Michael Wheeler described a research project he tn: dertook with colleagues Kimberlyn Leary and Gerald Zaltman to uncover people’ underly- they anticipated a negotiation. Using pictures to elicit meta ph ing feelings and thoughts s, the researchers found that participants! associations with negotiation were suffused with anxiety. According to Wheeler: One person visualized a speeding train representing “a deadline approaching or other unrelenting pressure.” Another described a woman in a turbulent sea, “overwhelmed by the magnitude of the