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Jonathon Neumann

Professor Poelarends

CE 131

14 October 2013

If our parents have sent us to Oxfordthis is prima facie evidence that the life which
wecan best lead to the glory of God at present is the learned life. C.S. Lewis

In and Through God

During my time at Wheaton College, I desire to grow as a more whole and effective

disciple of Christ and be equipped to serve Him and His Kingdom through the various learning

facets of life. I realize my time is short and I need to prepare for the day I will be handed my

diploma. To be ready, I must depend on God as I struggle with challenges, overcome barriers,

gain knowledge, and develop in a community of believers.

A few weeks before going to HoneyRock, my eyes were opened to my tendency to run

away from God. I grew angry with myself, and I believed God was disappointed in me for not

seeking Him. I longed for peace and desired transformation. Eventually I told my brother

Matthew and he advised me to ask God to help me seek Him. After presenting my problem to

God, I began to experience peace, and even though I struggled to spend time in solitude with

Him, His grace began to heal me. At that time I was in a close-knit community, but many of my

friends were not Christians. This gave me opportunities to evangelize and show the love of Jesus,

but did not provide a Christian community. I agree with Kenda Creasy Dean when she wrote:

Gods chosen location for transformation is the Christian community.1 I was attempting to

live without solitude or Christian community; therefore I was not allowing the Spirit to work in

me or meet with friends who minister, build up, and challenge me to be transformed.

1 Dean, 151
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I made my way up to Wheaton On August 14th. I was still struggling spiritually and

socially, and I was also slightly stressed because of the transition as well as all the work I

neglected to do for Wheaton Passage. I have struggled with stress my whole life. Yet, when I

arrived at HoneyRock, many of my worries faded away as I met brothers and sisters struggling

with the same problems as me, and I spent time in silence and solitude with God. I discovered

that the staff as well as my peers cared for me. I needed care then and I also need it now. I wrote

during my time at HoneyRock: We [Christians] are to care for physical, emotional, and spiritual

needs. Through thoughtful discussion I realized that I wore many masks and started to take

them off. Also, the questions they asked me challenged me to think deeply: Who am I? or

Why am I here in this time? Before Wheaton Passage I saw community as important, but

during my time at Honeyrock, I was reminded that we live as parts of the body of Christ, and we

can only exist as the body in and through Christ (Colossians 1:16).

On August 22nd I returned to Wheaton to move in and start orientation. On August 23rd I showed

my anxiety when I wrote in my jounral: I am afraid I am not doing all that I should. But,

fortunately, on August 27th (after all the orientation was over) I wrote: I feel at peacenot

because of all the information I have been given but because of the supremacy of Christ.

And now it is October 10, 2013. I must agree with myself in my journals when I say the

days are going by so fast or it is hard to believe September is coming to an end. The past two

months have been life-changing. My life requires much more discipline than my high school

years did. God reminds me I cannot perform for Him I must work with Him. Sometimes my

bust schedule causes me to neglect my time for praise, silence, and conversation with Him. Deep

down I know solitude is necessary for transformation and growth, yet I place my trust in myself

rather than presenting my problems and requests to God. As I already mentioned, stress is one of
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my barriers, and many days I let it motivate me. When stress is motivating me, it prevents me

from being present during class or conversations, and when I am not present, I am missing out on

the time I have here at Wheaton. This is an on-going struggle, and I pray that God will help me

through it as well as my brothers in Christ.

So far my classes have been both challenging and thought-provoking; they are

contributing to the way I view the world around me. I am developing a passion for learning. I

have declared Integrated Bible and Theology as my major, and I hope to study ministry as well.

For a few years now I believe God has called me into pastoral ministry. My youth pastor is a tool

God used to turn my life around he guided me through some of the toughest and most

confusing years of my life. I too want to be a tool for God. I must say Foundations of Ministry

(CE 111) is teaching me many things about God and the souls I am to care for. In my

Fundamentals of Oral Communication class (COM 201) I am learning about the intricate and

beautiful ways man communicates. In addition, my Theater Survey class (COM 271) is

encouraging me to get rid of all the faades I put on for others, opens me to be creative even if it

means failure. Henri Nouwen in Moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry states: If

you know you are Gods beloved, you can deal with an enormous amount of success as well as

an enormous amount of failure.2

Even now God is equipping me to help build the church He has already given me the

opportunity to spread the Gospel through the online ministry Global Media Outreach. Often, the

questions people ask me make me think, and the responses I get fill my heart with joy I see that

it is a blessing even though it requires a sacrifice of my time. I hope to get involved in a youth

group sometime soon I must trust in the Holy Spirit to guide me as I take a position that

requires living by example.

2 Nowen, 163
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Community is important in the life of every whole and effective Christian. I recently

joined a floor Discipleship Small Group, and our meeting time is one of the best parts of my

week. I love fellowship. I remember the Bible studies I had with brothers in Christ in my early

high school years that helped me overcome deep sins plaguing my life. Yes, we worked joyously

together to seek God and knowledge of Him. I treasure those memories. I want to learn more

about God with my brothers here, and I desire to be transformed with them. Without friends to

hold me accountable, how will I bring glory to God? We are to build each other up as we run this

race together. Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book Life Together wrote: Behold, how good and how

pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity this is Scriptures praise of life together

under the Wordwe can rightly interpret the words in unity and say for brethren to dwell

together through Christ. For Jesus alone is our unity.3 We will struggle to remain unified we

need the love of God coming through us because our opinions and backgrounds clash. Times of

difficulty come but we are to still love each other even though it is not easy, and I trust Christ

will help us develop strong relationships that will last throughout eternity.

We must not forget we live to serve and improve the world we live in. How do I serve the

world while living, in ways, separated from it? This is one of the reasons I applied to Moody

Bible Institute. Wheaton College is a community, but it is also a bubble. I need to know what is

going on in the world in order to pray for it and reach out to it because that is my calling whether

I am a pastor, lawyer, doctor, or plumber. We are the light of the world, we are the city on a hill

(Matthew 5:14). We are to share in joy and love the healing Christ has done in our lives by

redeeming us. Corbett and Fikkert, the authors of When Helping Hurts, write: The task of Gods

people is rooted in Christs mission. Simply stated, Jesus preached the good news of the kingdom

in word and deed, so the church must do the sameGods people have been commanded to

3 Bonhoeffer, 39
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follow their Kings footsteps into places of brokenness.4As I watch movies, listen to music, and

read literature I see emptiness of the world as everyone searches in all the wrong places for

healing and unconditional love. What am I to do? Perhaps I need only be present with those

hurting so I may love on them tell them what I have witnessed (Acts 1:8). God has placed me

here in this time for a purpose, and over the next few years I believe He will guide me slowly.

Looking forward, I do not know what is to come. Because I believe God has called me to

be a pastor, I see that of primary importance is complete dependence on Him and His plan. An

excellent verse to remember the next four years is Luke 10:27: You shall love the Lord your

God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your

mind; and your neighbor as yourself (NASB). The liberal arts education I am engaging in is

about loving God with my entire mind and continuing such a pursuit for the rest of my life.

Before coming to Wheaton College I did believe all aspects of life are spiritual, but the study of

ministry was enough for me to handle. Now, I see that even in the ministry it would be good to

be able to identify with others with different interests than myself. In Faithful Christian

Learning Jeffrey P. Greenman states: We should consider ourselves ready for every challenge

that comes with genuine academic inquiry since we can stand firm on the presupposition that

Christian faith provides a compelling, unrivaled account of the truth in a wide-ranging frame of

reference that applies to all of reality.5 As Christians, we need not fear the world, for Christ has

overcome it (John 16:33), but in order to overcome the world we must have Christ, we must

think from His perspective. I must have a Christian mind and I must be ready to stand firmly

planted in Christ no matter what comes my way. I believe suffering and trials will come, I will

4 Corbett and Fikkert, 38)

5 Greenman, 89
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practice thankfulness and walk not by myself but with Him who gives me strength in and

through Himself.

In conclusion, I see that I am called to be a student, and though my time is short, I will

not worry but trust in God as my guide. During these years I hope to grow and develop so I am

ready to boldly proclaim the Gospel in humility as well as show compassion and love to both the

Church and the world. I will not simply increase my knowledge of God but grow closer to Him

as I become more dependent on Him so I can overcome barriers, face challenges, and develop

within this community of believers. I open up myself to the work of the Holy Spirit. All glory be

to God.
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Works Cited

Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. "Community." Life Together. New York: Harper & Row. 34-45. Print.

Corbett, Steve, and Brian Fikkert. "Why Did Jesus Come to Earth?" When Helping Hurts: How

to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor and Yourself. Chicago, IL: Moody, 2009.

31-49. Print.

Davis, Jeffry C., Philip Graham Ryken, and Leland Ryken. "Faithful Christian Learning."

Liberal Arts for the Christian Life. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2012. 81-89. Print.

Dean, Kenda Creasy. "Vessels of Grace." Practicing Passion: Youth and the Quest for a

Passionate Church. Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Pub., 2004. 145-75. Print.

Nowen, Henri. "Moving from Solitude to Community." Christianity Today (1995): 160-164.

Print.