Severus slammed the front door of his house in Spinner’s End, happier then hell to be

home. A month of living at Hogwarts had taken his toll on him, his body ached and his
mind was cloudy. He felt as dusty as the shelves of his front room, which haven’t been
touched in years, covered in his mother old trinkets.

He pounded up the creaky stairs, wanting desperately the little comfort that his small,
cold bed offered. When he reached the top he let out a deep sigh. Comfort was coming,
he told himself; comfort from decent sleep without the weight of his idiotic student’s
essays and the constant requests of the Order.

He rushed into his cold bedroom and stared upon his own wonderful, dusty clutter. Oh,
clutter never looked so good. He began to strip off his heavy wool robes, feeling the cool
winter air against his chest. Yes, this is what he wanted. He kicked off his shoes and
socks and started undoing his pants.

“Yes,” he said to himself. He loved this sweet, lonely comfort.

When he was stripped down to nothing, he laid himself on his dirty sheets and let go of a
small smile. He loved the feel of the cold breeze against his thin, pale body and as he was
enjoying the small sensation, he felt his eyes get heavier. Yes, he thought, the sleep he has
been wanting for what felt like decades was finally here. Or was it.

As the minutes passed by, Severus found that he could not close his mind. He kept
thinking of things that didn’t matter, things he felt he needed to do and things he wanted
to do. In fact, what was bothering him most was that out of all the stupid things he could
be thinking of at the time, why was he thinking of sex?

Well fine then, if that’s where his mind decided to wander then he had no problem going
along. He moved his long fingers down slowly through the short tangle of his black pubic
hair to the base of his shaft and let his fingertips lightly touch the soft skin. But who was
it going to be today?

Severus made a habit of remembering his sexual experiences very well in order to use
them at times like this. In his mind, it was better then any other fantasy he could think of
and much better then porn, which he found ridiculous. Contrary to many others beliefs,
he had a lot of experiences to choose from.

He started to go through them, contemplating on if he wanted a guy or girl, student or

adult, friend or stranger. So many to choose from, but Severus was in a rush, he wanted to
whack off and be done with it so he decided on the most recent, which happened to be
Draco Malfoy.

As his fingers traced up and down his half-hard shaft his mind began to remember, to an
almost movie-like quality, exactly what happened on the afternoon about two weeks ago,
when Draco asked for some help after class with a simple remedial potion.
Severus let out a soft moan as he remembered the platinum-blond boy standing in front of
his desk, a sinful gleam in his already shiny eyes.

“Professor, don’t play stupid with me, you know I don’t really need help being that I am
the best in your class,” the young Malfoy said with a proud defiant tone.

“Actually Draco, you are second best in my class, Ms. Granger still shows higher marks
then you.” Draco flashed Severus an evil look and took it back almost immediately.

“That mudblood is nothing compared to me,” Draco replied, a new harshness in his
voice. Severus could see him trying to remain calm. He knew the game that they played
with each other. Severus would try to piss Draco off and if Draco was good and remained
calm he would claim his prize, otherwise Draco would storm off and get lower marks on
his potions for the next few days. They have been doing this for a while.

“Now now Draco, I would hate to have to give you lower marks for using such foul
words about a fellow classmate.” Severus lowered his head to the paper he was grading
on his desk.

“You wouldn’t lower my grade because of that,” replied Draco “You love me to much.
You love it when we fuck. You can’t hide the way you feel about me.”

“I wouldn’t think to highly of yourself Draco,” Severus said, his eyes still glued to the
paper he was grading. “I’ve had better ass then you can give on your best days.”

Draco let out some sort of a small growl before lifting the left side of Severus’ desk and
flipping it over, sending the ink container Severus was working with to crash and spill all
over the student essays. Severus stood up rapidly from his chair, sending it back against
the wall with a slam. He gave Draco the worst glare he could manage and muttered a
cleaning spell to get the ink off of his student’s papers. Draco just stared back before
speaking again.

“Fuck me Snape, I’ll show you what a great fuck is. I promise you, I’ll make it great!”
His started to take off his uniform as fast as he could, peeling off layer after layer of the
school uniform till he was wearing nothing at all, his clothes scattered around his feet.
Severus continued to glare.

“Well, what’s taking you so long you big faggot, get your dick out and fuck me!” Draco’s
impatience and nervousness was amusing Severus. He moved closer to the boyish form of
the 15 year old. Severus could help but to let out a smirk as he thought how Narcissa
would react if she knew that he was fucking both her son and her husband. Although now
that he thought about it more, he was sure she wouldn’t mind, she gave herself to him too.

Snape inched closer to the pedophile’s dream come true that was in front of him.
Severus stopped his stroking for a second and thought. Was he really a perverted
pedophile? I mean all the students he had ever done had wanted him. He didn’t really
care much more and went back to the memory, his stroking vigorous again.

Severus was now inches from Draco’s skinny, pale, sweaty body. He was now as hard as
Draco, whose eyes never looked away from Severus as he backed against the closest
wall. Severus followed, undoing his pants as he walked.

“You know Draco, I don’t love you. You disgust me to much.” Severus said as he grabbed
Draco’s shoulders and turned him so he faced the wall.

“You are a bad liar professor.” Draco whispered, his face pressed against the cold
dungeon wall. Severus let an evil smirk cross his face before taking his cock out of his
pants and let it softly touch the warm crevice of Draco’s ass.

“I don’t love you,” Severus whispered faintly in Draco’s ear before pulling out his wand
and muttering a lubrication spell. He tossed his wand to the floor next to Draco’s clothes
and slowly reached his right hand in between Draco’s ass. Severus then let a finger push
itself into Draco before adding another and another.

By the time Severus was pushing three fingers in, Draco was squirming. He didn’t like to
be teased. Draco wrapped a hand around Severus’ cock and the other around his own.

“Patience Draco,” Severus said before planting a series of small kisses on the back of
Draco’s small neck. Draco’s breath became quicker. ‘All right enough’, Severus thought,
removing his fingers from inside Draco. Severus allowed Draco’s hand to guide him into
his ass. Draco then let out a sort of high-pitched grunt and braced both of his hands
against the cold wall. Severus slowly moved his cock in and out of Draco, a small smile
on his face, hidden by his curtains of black greasy hair.

Severus now grabbed Draco’s own hard cock pressed it hard to Draco’s thigh, rubbing it
up and down as he continued to push himself in and out of Draco. This brought more
sounds from Draco’s mouth. Everything from moans to squeaks. Severus himself didn’t
usually make noise and this time was no different.

“Yes professor!” Draco screamed a little too loudly. He was going to come any second.
Severus could feel Draco’s pulse through his cock as it tightened. Severus could feel his
own orgasm coming on faster. Oh man, it was good too. He was thrusting faster as Draco
came, his hot liquid covering his thigh.

Severus bit his lower lip as his head got lighter and he gave the final thrusts before
coming deep in Draco’s ass.

Severus let a small moan before coming in his own hands.

“Was I good Professor Snape?” Draco asked after his breathing returned to normal.
“Acceptable, consider your grade raised. Now get out of my office.”

Draco picked Severus’ wand off the ground and used a cleaning charm. He turned
around and handed the wand to Severus.

“Is it because of my father?” Draco said pulling on his clothes as fast as he could.
Severus looked at him, surprised at the question.

“What do you mean?” He asked dumbly.

“Is my father the reason that you don’t love me? Are you afraid of him Snivillus?” Draco
smirked as he said this name. Severus’ eyes widened and he let out a snarl.

“Get out of my office!” yelled Severus, pointing his long bony finger at the door. “Get
the fuck out!”

Draco obeyed.

Severus curled up under his ragged quilt, feeling the little pieces of dirt scratch and
irritate his shoulders and legs. He found himself less tired then he was before. He was
thinking about why he got so mad at Malfoy. He knew that he wasn’t afraid about Lucius
finding out about him and his son and he knew that he felt no love for either of them.

Was it really the stupid nickname that got to him? It was true he hated the nickname, but
it was so childish, it was hard to take it seriously anymore. Seriously, he thought, Sirius.

He rolled onto his other side, and began to empty his mind completely. With much effort,
he managed and quickly began to drift off into his much needed sleep.

* * *

Severus was feeling as dusty and miserable as ever when he came back to Hogwarts. The
next week consisted three students, three detentions, and three different sexual advances
on him. After this week, he was done with these ridiculous teenage hearts. What ever
happened to just sex?

First there was the usual Draco Malfoy, who offered him another quick fuck on his desk
to which he promptly declined.

Then the was the more interesting Pansy Parkinson whom he didn’t even give a detention
to but who showed up anyway in his office. After an hour of dusting jars of pickled small
mammals, she offered a tempting fuck, which Severus didn’t take. Although she was cute
and quiet, he didn’t feel right about fucking absolutely everyone relating to the Malfoy
family.
The last attempt this week was the last person Severus would ever think of making sexual
advances on him next to Harry Potter. This was the infamous weirdo Luna Lovegood.
Well how could he say no? After a rough session on the cold dungeon floor he knew
exactly why her name was Lovegood.

But it wasn’t these events that were wearing Severus out. It was his own horribly
wretched mind. There was something that he couldn’t get out of his head. It was a
memory that was making him go crazy. It was this memory that was slowly forcing him
to realize just how lonely he was.

He walked up the stairs leading from the dungeons to the entrance hall. He figured he
would eat something before he was forced back to his office to grade his student’s
horribly written essays. But something stopped him.

The window in front of him stared out onto the huge black lake, bathed in the small white
light of the moon. The lake. Just looking at it made his memory stronger. He looked to
the left of the lake and saw what he was looking for. The large birch tree, swaying softly
in the night wind. It looked exactly as it had on the night when Severus was only 14.

He turned away from the window and towards the main entrance. He pulled open the big
doors and walked hastily out toward the gently swaying birch tree.

It was night when Severus Snape snuck out of the Slytherin common room, an
embarrassing hardness already growing in his pants. He hoped that none of the
Ravenclaws were looking out of their windows tonight. Even if they were, what were the
odds they would recognize the antisocial, greasy, black haired teen in this darkness.

He remembered why he used to sneak out to the lake every new moon, if it wasn’t too
cold. He went to whack off. It was too noticeable in the dormitory and to open in the
showers. What other choice did he have? Plus, Severus always liked to do it the water,
where it felt more like a stranger.

“Thank god I don’t have to do that anymore.” Severus said to himself still walking to the
familiar birch tree.

Just like every other new moon he came out here, he was careful to take off his clothes
right before getting into the water. His pale body was bound to be noticed by Dumbledore
one of these days if he wasn’t careful.

After his clothes were off he climbed into the water, laying down on the soft muddy
ground just under the surface so only his head stuck out. He touched himself slowly first,
looking toward the faint glimmer of the new moon. Beautiful, he thought, speeding his
hand up as it cupped his hard cock and stroked with drive.

The mud he was laying in began to form around his body, another reason why Severus
loved masturbating in the lake. The familiar sensations filled him with pleasure and it
was less then no time before Severus could feel his blood rush to his head as he began to
come into the murky water. Easy cleanup, he thought, still not bothering to stand up. He
let out a pleasant grin having just relieved a months worth of sexual tension.

After a few minutes of enjoying the taste of euphoria that orgasms brought, he snaked
himself out of the mud that shaped his form and with his body kept low, swam out into the
lake. He only went out a little farther before silently swimming back to the shore and
crawling toward his clothes.

He grabbed the small hand towel he brought with him and began to dry off his body as
fast he could. He glanced toward the doors and saw no sign of anyone being there. He
continued to rub the small, now damp towel over skin and peered over to the birch tree.
He stopped dead.

Severus took a seat under the cover of the birch and stared out into the black lake. His
memory was stronger here now then ever.

There sitting in the perfect crevice of two large roots sat the obvious body of a teenage
boy. Severus snatched his wand out of the breast pocket of his robe lying at his feet and
pointed it at the shadow-covered stranger.

“Who are you?” Severus spat in the harshest loudest whisper he could manage. He wand
began to tremble in his hand as he realized just how vulnerable he was in this state. He
tried his best to hold his wand steady.

“Who are you?” He said again, louder, as the figure began to move into the moonlight.

“I’m Sirius, Sirius Black” the boy said, his face now visible and no wand in sight,
“please don’t jinx me, I-I didn’t mean to spy.” His voice was horse and slightly shaky and
his face, oh his face was stunning. His brilliant eyes shone in the moonlight and his dark
hair fell gracefully around his perfect square jaw. Severus had to keep a tighter grip on
his wand to keep it from shaking out of his hand.

Severus knew the boy as a Gryffindor of his same year that shared a few classes with
himself, but that was all. He didn’t know what to expect.

“What other choice do I have but to jinx you? How do I know you won’t tell the whole
school?” Severus asked as he narrowed his eyes to see the boy’s facial expressions, but
he could not see any important sign in the dark.

“What can I do to convince you I won’t?” Sirius said, with a cocky attitude. He began to
laugh, which sounded like a soft bark, but it wasn’t a mocking, ridiculing sort of laugh,
which Severus heard all the time. No, it was nice, almost comforting, like this whole
situation happened all the time. When he stopped laughing, he left a friendly smile on his
face. Severus kept his wand up.
“I don’t know.” Severus replied. With his free hand, Severus began to pull his robe over
his legs and covered himself to the waist. His eyes were still pinned on Sirius’ smile.

“Oh, you can get dressed.” Sirius said. “I won’t run off screaming or anything.” He
laughed again.

Severus pulled on his pants and his robe as fast as he could manage with his eyes still
looking at Sirius. When he was fully clothed, he stood and put his wand back in his
pocket. Sirius stood too.

“So,” Sirius said looking down at his feet, “are you going to hold me captive, umm, I’m
sorry I didn’t get your name.” Sirius moved slowly toward Severus, looking up at him
again with those shiny eyes.

“Why should I tell you my name? Then you will know exactly who I am and you will tell
the whole school what I was doing!” Severus was sweating. He didn’t know what to
think.

“No I wouldn’t. How could I convince that I wouldn’t?” Sirius was arm-length from
Severus now. Severus stared into his eyes and saw something that confused him. Was that
lust he saw in those shiny black eyes?

“Oh, your robe is inside out.” Sirius said as he reached out toward Severus’ robes but
Severus smacked his hands away.

“Don’t touch me!” Severus yelled at him.

“Shh, keep your voice down.” Sirius said softly. They both stood in silence for what felt
like hours. Severus traced his lower lip with his thumb and Sirius shuffled his feet. After
awhile Sirius broke the silence.

“So does this mean I’m your captive?” asked Sirius, very playfully. He gave Severus
another smirk.

“No.” Severus turned and began to walk hastily back up the hill leading toward the main
entrance, but he could hear Sirius’ footsteps behind him.

“Wait,” Sirius said, laying a hand on Severus’ shoulder to stop him, “Don’t go yet.” This
sentence filled him with an unexplainable fury. What could he possibly want? Did he still
want his name? Was he really going to tell everyone?

Severus turned around to slap Sirius’ hand off his shoulder but instead he found himself
face to face with him. The next thing he knew, Sirius had his arms around his neck and a
pair of soft lips was touching his. Severus’ eyes widened. The kiss was shy and awkward
but it was still a kiss. He was kissing this stranger, this boy. Severus kept his arms
straight at his sides. He wanted to break away, but felt trapped in his own body. He
couldn’t break away from this kiss. If he did, he felt he would regret it and he would be
lonelier than ever. He only half-believed this of course but still, there was something else
that was making him stay.

The kiss ended. Sirius shyly backed off, looking shameful.

“Don’t,” Severus said in a hardly audible whisper, “don’t stop.” This was strange, this
sensation. It was so strange it seemed like fiction. He wanted this boy. He wanted him
more then anything.

Sirius didn’t hesitate in taking Severus into his arms again. He pushed his lips forcefully
upon Severus’, making it hard to breathe. His hands moved down Severus’ back to his
ass, where he stroked it roughly through Severus’ robes. Oh yes, this was good. Really
good.

The kissing continued. The two tongues rolling around with each other, trying to fight for
dominance.

Severus opened his eyes only for a second. Yes, he was sure, that’s a boys face. O.k., he
told himself, I want this and that makes it o.k. This makes it right. Sirius now had
Severus’ pants undone and his hand pushed through the other boy’s fly. He felt hastily for
the hard shaft trapped under all the clothing. Severus let out a soft moan through their
locked lips as Sirius hand darted quickly around, caressing every inch of skin he could
grasp.

Sirius finally broke his lips away and he took one last hard look at Severus. He smiled,
and laughed that same bark-like laugh as before. Sirius then lowered himself to his knees
began to kiss the spot where his hand had left. Soft little kisses, no more then teasing
pecks. Severus was breathing heavy. He had never in his life been in such a situation
before, and such an extreme sexual desire burst from him. He was ready for what was
coming. He was at the brink of letting go.

Sirius wasted no time in putting his mouth where it belonged. Severus couldn’t help but to
bite his knuckles as the other boy lips surrounded his cock. The sucking began, those
lovely lips sliding up and down his shaft. Severus couldn’t breathe. These feelings
brought life to something Severus was afraid would never awaken.

Oh it was good too, Severus thought to himself. Better then anyone else he could
remember.

Severus was so close to the edge that it only took a little while before he gave in to Sirius’
magical lips. His second orgasm of the night was hotter and more euphoric then anything
Severus had ever experienced. His mind clouded and all thought vanished. He tilted his
head back toward the stars, staring dreamily at the night sky.
Sirius raised himself off his knees but as his lips darted again for Severus’, Severus
backed away. His eyes drifted off the sky back to his new lover, his first lover. Then
something happened, the lust was gone. The truth hit Severus like a smack in the face.
And this feeling, what was it, it was a pain in his chest? He hated it. How could he have
given himself so freely to a stranger, Severus thought, did his pride mean nothing?

“Don’t talk to me ever again.” Severus whispered, his voice shaky. “Don’t touch me ever
again.” Severus could hardly believe the words coming from his mouth, he felt like he
was being possessed, but maybe these words were best. Sirius stared dumbfounded, pain
etched across his beautiful face.

“I thought you wanted it,” said Sirius, his voice breaking; his face was so intensely
saddened. He looked on the verge of tears.

“I didn’t. I thought I did but I didn’t.” Severus adjusted his robes and zipped up his fly.
He gave one last look at this Sirius boy, this boy who had forced Severus to feel
something, something real that wasn’t hatred. He began to walk back towards the school
away from Sirius, a shameful statue. When he reached the doors, he took one last, long,
deep breath, soaking up the events of the night, before exhaling them back out into the
world.

Severus reached out pulled his knees into his chest. Under this birch tree, between these
two roots, Severus did something he hadn’t done in a long time.

“I’m sorry Sirius, I’m so sorry.” Severus whispered into the empty night.