Writing reference (Paper 2)

Semi-formal letter/email (Part

Contents
Checklist of key points for writing
Model answers, with hints and useful phrases
Semr-formal letter/email
Story
Letter/email to a friend
Report

Article
Letter of application
Essay

Review

Set book (article)

Useful linking words and phrases
Sample answers

Semi-formal letter
Story
Letter to a friend
Essay

Report

Article
Review

General marking guidelines

p.206

1)

(For work on semi-formal letters and emails, see pages

28 and 140.)
p. 206
p. 208

p.209
p.210
p.211
p.212
p.213
p.214
p.215
p.216
p.217
p.218
p.219
p.220
p.221
p.222
p.223
p.224

Checklist
Answering the question

Task

You recently had a short holiday in a large city which

you booked through a company called Citibreaks. You
were very disappointed with the holiday. Read the
CitiBreak advertisement for the holiday you booked
and the notes you have made. Then write a letter to
CitiBreaks, explaining what the problems were and
telling them what you want them to do.

Enjoy a short holiday in the

capital city.
We offer two nights' accommodation
in a four-star hotel in a cgntral Noi aentral location.
- long way outl

Have you

.
.

answered all parts of the question?

included all the necessary information?
written the required number of words?
organised your ideas appropriately, using
paragraphs where necessary?
written clearly so that it is easy to read?

Accuracy
Are there any mistakes in grammar, vocabulary,
spelling or punctuation?
Range
Have you used

.
.
.

a variety of grammatical structures?

a range of interesting vocabulary?
a range of linking words?

Style
ls your language appropriate for the type of
writing? (Remember to think about who you are
writing for.)
ls your answer interesting for the reader, and
would it have a positive effect?

All rooms

bathrooms,

have their own

and a view of the

river.-

View not
river - only
car park

The price of f 150 per person

includes all meals as well as
Dinner
a ticket for a show of vour choice aost exira
in one of the city's teaiingetheatre\No ohoice
of ehow
This will be a real holiday to

remember!-

\t:ti:t;",

.
.

Write a letter of between 120 and 150 words.

You must use grammatically correct sentences
with accurate spelling and punctuation in a style
appropriate for the situation.

\\'riting rel'erence (Papcr 2)

Model answer
don't need to
put an address for a
letter in either Part
or ParI2.
You

Dear Sir,

a short holiday I had recently

organised by your company. There were several problems
with the holiday.

I am writing to complain about

DO begin by saying
why you are writinq.
DON'T begin by saying
who you are.

First, your advertisement promised a hotel in a central

location, whereas in fact the hotel was a long way from the
centre. You said all rooms had a river view, but my window
overlooked a noisy car park. I had to pay extra for dinner,
although you stated that it was included. To make matters
worse, I couldn't choose which show to go to. I had hoped to
go to a new musical, but I had to go to one I had already seen.

DO list your
complaints clearly,
using linking words to
connect your actual
complaint with the
details.

When you are writing

a letter or an email to
someone you don't
know, use a semiformal style. lf you
don't know their
name, a letter starts
with Dear Sir/Madam
and ends Yours
faithfully.lf you know
their name, a letter

had been looking forward to my holiday very much, but

DO make a clear
connection between
your letter and the task
input. DON'T repeat the
exact words in the task
input.

it

was completely ruined. I therefore feel that you should refund

half the cost of the holiday in compensation for my
disappointment.

lf you expect a reply to

your letter, DO fjnjsh

with this sentence on

separate line.

I look forward to hearing from you

soon.

Yours faithfully,

usually starts with

Dear Mrs/MrlMiss/Ms
+ surname, and ends
Yours sincerely.

In a letter, srgn and

print your full name.

Ursine Schmidt
lf you're writing an
email, you can use
'Best wishes'.

(149 words)

Useful language
Complaining

.
.
.
.

I am writing to you about (several problems related to my city break in lune).

I have been waiting for (two weeks for a reply to my lettel.
To make matters worse, (we were informed that there was no record of our cheque being cashed).
I would be grateful if you could (refund my deposit as soon as possible).

Requesting information

.
.
.
.

I am writing in response to (your advertisement in The Daily Standard on July 20th).

I would be grateful if you could (send me further details about the position).
I am writing to enquire whether (you could let me have further details about the holiday).
I would like to know more about (the arrangements for the evening meal).

Giving information/Responding to requests for information

. ln response to your query, I would like to inform you that (l passed the FCE in June).
t With reference to your letter of ... (l enclose details of my qualifications).
. You asked me to tell you about (my travel plans and I enclose further details).

\Vriting rcference (Paper 2)

Story

Useful language

(For work on stories, see pages 40 and 152.)

had been (talking about lohn) just before

(he phoned).

We

It wasn't until (l read the lette) that (l realised how

Task

dangerous the
situation was).
While ( was waiting for my friends, I saw someone go into the house

opposite).

Your teacher has asked you to write a story

for the schools English language magazine.
The story must begin with the following
words:

I wanted to do my best, but more than

that I wanted the team to win.

As soon as (my friends arrived, we went to have a look).

I was just about to (open the door), when (l heard a noise downstair)
By the time (l got back to the house, there was no one to be seen).
After waiting (for a few minutes, I decided to climb in through the
window).

A few seconds later, (the lights went

out).

Eventually/After a while, (my friends arrived).

At last (l knew what I had to dd.

Write your story. (You should write

between 120-'180 words.)

Model answer
DO use phrases to show
when things happened in
your story (e.9. lt was the
last football game of the
season. When the second
half started ...)

DON'T make mistakes with

narrative tenses.

DO use direct speech

because it makes the story
more interestinq to read.

DO try to have
dramatic end.

I wanted to do my best, but more than that

wanted the team to win. lt was the last football
game of the season, and if we won, we would be
the champions. As we ran onto the pitch,
couldn't help feeling nervous. The
cheering, but the opposition looked strong. lt
wasn't going to be easy.
I

The game started. I got the ball and raced

towards the goal. 'Go onl' roared the crowd, but
I kicked it straight into the hands of the
keeper. 'Never mind,'yelled my team-mate
lGood tryl'We played hard, but at half-time

some specif ic vocabulary

related to it (e.9. score.
goalkeepe4 goal, pitch).
DO use interesting
vocabulary (e.9. raced,

roared.

the score was 0-0.

When the second half started, it was raining
heavily. Our chance of winning the championship
was slipping away. We struggled to get the ball
through the defence, but time after time they
stopped us. Now there were only two minutes
left. Suddenly I had the ball. I passed it to Joe,
who headed it straight into the goal, just as the
referee blew his whistle. The crowd went crazy.
We were the championsl

(179 words)

ffi

DON'T write about a

topic if you don't know

DO add extra detail to

add to the atmosphere

of the story.

$'riting reference (Paper 2)

Letter/email to a friend

Useful language

(For work on informal letters and emails, see pages

16 and 1 64.)
Task
You have received a letter from your pen friend
inviting you for a visit in July. Write a letter to your
pen friend, accepting the invitation, suggesting
something you would like to do and asking what
you should bring with you.

Write your letter. Do not write any postal addresses.

(You should write between 120-180 words.)

Beginning the letter or email

o
.
.
.
.
o

Many thanks for your letter (- it was really nice to hear from you again)
I thought I'd better write (and give you some more details about ...)
lt's been such a long time since we wrote to each other.
How are you and your familyT
How are things with you?
How was (your holiday)?
lntroducing the topic
. I know you're longing to hear all about (my holiday).
o You remember I told you in my last letter (that I was going to ...)
Ending the letter or email
. once again, (thanks very much for all your help).
. Give my lovelregards to (your family).
. Piease write/drop me a |ine soon.
. I look forward to (meeting up again soon).

Model
DO invent a name.

Don't write

Thank.s

Dear Pen friend.

loc

lefre( - it uras
t to hear from
I havent Dritten foc aEzs, buf I've

tTooc

I'm soKtS
been reatlj bus3 preparing for mj exams. It's
good neurs thaf 3ou've passed 3o0r driving tast.
3otr.

DO mention a letter or
email you have received
from the person you
are writing to, or refer
to a shared experience.

DO say what you've

been doing recently.

Congratulations!
DO think of some
specific details to

include in each
paragraph - this will
make your letter or
email more interesting.

Thank 3oo so much for jour invitafion to

joo toc a v:eeL in 1ut3 - I'd love +o con\e.

staj Dith
I knor,,.l

that jotl have a uronderfol beach near Sour hoo=e, and

I'd reatlg en1oj spending some +l^e +he(e. I expect
that the Loedllne( Dill be Vtol, so I hope De can go
sDimming.

that I don t need to bring mtlch urith me.

l,rJha-l- gort of clolttes should I pacL? Casual or formal?
t,0ould
,1o,,:? I toootd
3orr lik-e me to bring ang-thing foc
liLe +o bring something special for gou and gour famil3
frorn mj countrS.
Yoo said

DO mention the next

time you will see the
person you are
writing to.

DO use an appropriate
phrase to end your
letter or email, e.g.
Love,

All the best,

faithfully.

Yvpe ulort'ce enjoging driving taoo( ca(, and I'm looking

forr,oard

lo

seet^g goo in lulj!

ThanLg again

for fhe

invitation.

Best

wshes. DON'T finish

your letter or email with
Yours sincerely/

T'a better stop nol, and get on urith m3 studjing.

Atl

the begt,

Icene
(169 words)

$'riting ref'erence (Paper 2)

Report

Useful language

(For work on reports, see pages 7B and 114.)

Task

lntroduction
. The aim of this report is to ...
. This report is intended to ...
Reporting results

The school where you study English has decided

to spend some money on either buying more
computers or improving the library. You have
been asked to write a report for the school

director describing the benefits to the school of

both these things, and saying which one you
think should be chosen and why.
Write your report. (You should write between
120-180 words.)

.
.

Most people seem to feel that ...

Several people said/told me/suggested/thought that ...

Presenting a list

.
.

They gave/suggested the

following

reasons:

Thef made the following points:

1
2

...
...

Making recommendations
. I would therefore recommend (that we expand the
library/ installing a new coffee machine).
seem that (banning mobile phones)

. lt would

is the best idea.

Model answer
Use
DON'T begin and end your
report wrth Dear Sir/Madam.
like a letter.

DO use headings because

this makes it easier for the
reader to find the main

information.

of money for school improvements

lntroduction
The aim of this report is to compare the advantages of
additional computers and of improving the library, and
to suggest which of these would be best. I interviewed
a number of students to find out their views.

Buying more computers

Some of the students thought that this was a good
idea, saying computers were useful for:

DO include two or
three points under each
heading.
DO use numbering or

bullet points to
hiqhliqht main points.

DO say how you

collected the
information.

.
.

practising writing
using the lnternet
o playing games.
However, other students said that they preferred to use
their own computers at home.

lmproving the library

Most of the students preferred this suggestion, giving
the following reasons:
1 Many students do not have a quiet place to study at
home. The library would be a good place for private
study, but at present there are not enough tables and

DO use a range of
specific vocabulary or
set phrases e.g. Some
thought this was a

good idea.../other
students said they
preferred ..., bur
DON'T use lots of
adjectives and dramatic
language as you do in
a story. A report gives
factual information.

DON'T include irrelevant

details or description.

chairs there.
2 They feel that up-to-date dictionaries and reference
books are needed.
3 They want to be able to read modern books written
for young people.

Recommendations
Both ideas have benefits, but the majority of students
felt that improving the library would be more useful.
I would therefore recommend this.

DO express opinions
impersonally. DON'T
express recommendations

or opinions until the

conclusion.

(179 words)

ffi#

\\'ritinA reference (Paper 2)

Article
Useful language
(For work on articles, see pages 52, 102 and 126.)

lnvolving the reader

Task

.
.

Are you thinking of (getting married in the near future)?

I'm sure you'll agree (it was a great idea).

Developing your points

You see this advertisement in a local English

.
.

Let's start with (why it is so important to take plenty of

exercise).

Another advantage (of using a computer is that ...)

o On top ofthat,

for artic.les
magazine is looking
worl.d'
the
about celebrations around
.

Heyl

imPortant in your
a celebration that is
Write us an article about
it-itpott'nt and describing
country, explaining *hy
vou wirl
what peopre do. rrvour
in a citY of Your choice'

tht;il;;tion

?,tifiI-i,f:l.gj['rffi::'"''
ilfi;tk".d

...

Giving your own opinion

. I think tha/nn my opinion (traditional celebrations are very

important).
,f seems to me that (people are much more aware
importance of a good diet nowadays).

of the

Write your article. (You should write between

120-180 words.)

Model answer

DO think of an

interesting title,
DON'T start and finish
your article in the
same way as a letter.

Olinda's carnival

something for everyone

When most people think of Carnival, they think of

Rio de Janeiro. But Rio isn't the only city in Brazil that
knows how to have parties. I live in Olinda, a lovely
city in the north-east of Brazil. What can we say
about the carnival at Olinda? Just that it's the best in
the world!

DO try to involve
your readers, e.g.
by using a question.

Carnival has its origins in ancient Egyptian and

Roman festivals. lt was introduced to Brazil by the
Portuguese, and was influenced by African rhythms
and lndian costumes. Now its a big national
celebration.
Once Carnival starts, the whole town goes crazy!
Everyone's singing and dancing. Parades of people
wearing costumes typical of our north-eastern
folklore dance through the streets. I love the giant
street dolls, both the traditional ones such as 'the
man of midnight' and the new ones that appear
each year.

DO finish your article by

summarising your main
point and giving your
opinion or expressing
your feelings.

The best thing about our carnival is that no one has

to pay and there are no big stars. Everyone takes
part, rich and poor, old and young, residents and
tourists. lf you come, I promise you'll never forget it!

(179 words)

DO use informal
language to involve the
reader.

\\'riting rcf'erence (Paper 2)

Letter of application
(For work on writing applications, see page 140.)

Useful language

.
.

Task
You see this advertisement in a local English
language newspaper.

of English to
We are looking for students
the
a week helPing in

,o"Ji*o,no*i"g'
Goocl

local tourist office'

pn artd conditiotrs for the right applicartts'

about your
Write to us, giving information
you
level of engtistr' and explaining. Yhy
job'
would be suitable for the

I have always been interested in (using English in my

work).

One

of the main reasons I am applying for this job

that

(l want to work in England).

is

.
.

I have a lot of experience of (dealing with the public).

I am available to start work (at any timelfrom the end of

.
.

Thank you for considering my application.

I would be grateful if you would (send me further details

the month).

of the job).
can he contacted (on 0849 58 48 43) at any time.
I can be contacted (at the above address).
I look forward to hearing from you soon.

oI

.
.

Write your application. Do not write any postal

addresses. (You should write between 120-180 words.)

Model answer

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to apply for one of the positions helping in the

local tourist office which were advertised in 'Kent Weeklyl
on August 23rd.

DO organise your
application so that you
mention each of the areas
in the advertisement.

DON'T make mistakes with

time expressions and tenses.

DO begin and end your

letter as you would other

formal letters.

ffi

I am 19 years old and come from Switzerland. German is

my mother tongue and I have been learning English and
French for five years at a comprehensive school. At the
ent I'm a student at English International, studying for
the FCE.
I have always been interested in working with people. As I
have already spent three months in England, I know the
local tourist attractions quite well. I would also say that I
have a good knowledge of history and old places, because
I have read a lot about the subject recently In the near
future, I would like to continue studying English, and so the
job in your tourist office would be a great opportunity for
me to improve my speaking.
I am available for interview at any time. I can be contacted
on 0795 51 32 4I after 6 p.m. every evening.
Thank you for considering my application. I look forward
to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,

6aurie.\\a Danie.\s
Gabriella Daniels
(183 words)

DO say which job

you are applying for
and where and
when you saw it
advertised. You can
invent a newspaper
and date if you
need to.

DON'T forget to
mention why you

think you are

suitable.

DO say when and

how you can be

contacted.

$'riting refcrence (Paper 2)

Essay

Useful language

(For work on essays, see pages 90 and 176.)

Some people claim that (your teenage years are the best
years of your life).

Task
You have been doing a class project on technology.
Your teacher has asked you to write an essay giving

your opinron on the following statement:

People in the modern world depend too much on
computers.

It is often said that (TV is a bad influence on young people).

HoweveE in my view/opinion, ...
Firstly, it is clear that (money cannot buy happiness).
While it is true that (computer games are stimulating, they
may not be good for you in the long term).
From my point of view, (job satisfaction is more important
than a large salary).

Finally, it is important

to

remember that ...

Write your essay. (You should write between

On balance then, I feel that ...

120-180 words.)

To sum

up/ln conclusion, it seems to me that

...

Model answer
DO state the topic in

your first sentence, but

use your own words.

In today's world, nearly every aspect of life is affected

by computer technology. Computers are used for
business, public services, education and entertainment.
Some people are concerned by this development. They
fear that vital skills are being lost as computer
technology replaces traditional ways of r,vorking in a
wide variety of areas, from art and design to banking
and commerce. They point out the chaos that can occur
r,vhen computer systems fail, leading to the breakdown
of essential services such as transport, law and order.

DO use linking
expressions to
introduce points.

DON'T forget to
express your opinion
in the conclusion.

DON'T start by saying /

agree with th6 - your
essay should present your
own argument.

DO include supporting
detail for the points in
each paragraph.

However, people could not continue to enjoy their

present standard of living without computer
technology. There are now far more people in the
world than there were a generation ago. The fact that
there is enough food for them, that they can travel
safely from one place to another, and that they can be
provided with medical care, is largely due to computer
technology.

In my opinion, therefore, we have to accept our

dependence on computers, but at the same time we
should work to find ways of making this dependence
less dangerous.
('178 words)

2,'

ffiH

\Yriting reference (Papcr 2)

Review

Useful language

(For work on reviews, see pages 15 and 64.)

Task

lntroduction

.
.

lwould like to review is ...

The last film I saw / book I read was ...
The (film)

Summarising the story

You recently saw this announcement in an English language

magazine called Film Scene.

on films today'
We need a young person's perspective
saw' Include
Write us a.evie* of the last film you
any special
and
characters
information on the story'
would
you
whether
features of the film, and say
will
review
best
people' The
recommend the film to other
of the magazine'
be published in next month's edition

.
.
.
.
.
.

on (a book) ...

lt's about ...

There are many memorable characters

including ...
The main theme of the film is

..

What the film is nying is ...

Recommending the film

I would recomend this film to anyone.

o Although I enjoyed it, I would not

recommend it for ...
a

Write your review. (You should write between 120-180

words.)

lt's set in . ..
The story is based

It's one of the best (shows) l've ever seen.

Although I am not normally keen on
(musicals), l'm glad that I decided to go.
The (film) lifts you out of your everyday life.

Model answer
The last film I saw was not new, in fact it was The Lord
of the Rings.
DO say what it is
about, but not in too

much detail.

DO try

to use a range ol

interesting vocabulary,

to bring the film to life

for the reader.

It is based on the well-known book, and tells the story of

a creature called a hobbit who takes a dangerous magic
ring back to the place where it was made in order to
destroy it. There are many memorable characters apart
from the hobbit and his friends, including awrzard called
Gandalf and a suspicious creature called Gollum.

important or memorable
characters, but don't

This is a film about friendship and loyalty. However, it is

the special effects that make it truly magical. There are
vivid battle scenes with fantastic animals and birds, and
sets that are so imaginative that you want to believe they
are real. But as well as this, the actual locations are
beautiful, too.

DO remember to link
ideas clearly, and to link
paragraphs together.

I would recommend this film to anyone, even those who

do not usually enjoy fantasy films. What I would say to
them is - go and try it! Like me, you might find that the
film lifts you out of your everyday life into a world you
will not want to leave.
(180 words)

DO remember

to mention

spend too much time just

describing them.

DO remember to give
your opinion clearly, as
this is the purpose of a
revieW but not until the
end.

\\'ritin reference (Paper 2)

Set book

Task

About the exam: ln Question 5, you

answer one of two questions based on
your reading of one of the set books. You
may be asked to write an essay, an article,
a report or a letter.
You do not have to answer Question 5. lf
you do, make sure that you know the
book well enough to be able to answer
the question properly. Here is a suggested
procedure for writing about the set text.

the story.
Relationships: include information about
who likes/dislikes who, and the things that
affect thei r relationsh ips.
Places: include quick descriptions of the most

important places.
Your own reactions: write down your
feelings about the book, with some reasons
for your opinion.
3 Make a list of the kind of questions you
might be asked to write about, and
discuss

.
.

will enjoy it.

A lady with no name

Characters: include information about what

they are like and how important they are in

them with other students. Here

are some ideas:

What makes the book interesting/
exciting? Describe an exciting or memorable
moment in the book.
Choose the most interesting character.
Describe him/her. ls this your favourite
character?
ls the title a good one for the book? Why?
Does the book have a good ending? Explain
why/why not.
Do you think the book would make a good
film? Explain your reasons.

Would you recommend the book to

friend? Say why/why not.

a book to

read on the journey. Write a letter to your friend, recommending

the book you have read and giving reasons why you think they

get a general idea of the story and the

characters - and to enjoy it!

Plot: include the main events and the order

they come in the story.

.
.

(b) Your friend is going on holiday and wants to take

Model answer (article)

2 Read the book again, this time more

carefully. Make notes under the
following headings.

a series of
articles on interesting characters in fiction, and has asked readers
to send in their suggestions. Write an article on the character
you found most interesting in the book you have read, saying
who the character is and why you think they are so interesting.

to

1 Read the book all the way through,

(a) An international student magazine is running

DO focus on

what you
It seems strange to experience a story through the eyes
have been
'Rebecca',
of a nameless person - but this is the case in
asked to do.
by Daphne du Maurier. Rebecca is the name of the first
DON'T just
tell the story
wife of Maxim de Winter. She dies before the story
of the book.
begins, and the novel is narrated by Maxim's second wife,
whose name we never learn, but who is to me the most
interesting character in the book. As we read, we learn of
her feelings for Maxim, and of what she discovers about
his past life and the wife she has replaced.
DO make links

So why do I think the narrator is such an interesting

character? Although she is nameless, she has a strong
personality. She is emotronal and her

feelings are vividly described, so that you feelsorry

for her. She has not had an easy life, and you want
her to be happy, in spite of the strange things that
happen after her marrrage.

between
paragraphs clear.

DO describe a

characteristic and
then say why you
like it so much.

All in all, her lack of an identity makes her all the more
memorable - and perhaps that is why I find her so
fascinating.

Useful language

The book is really exciting because (it starts with a murder).

best moment is when (the murderer is revealed).
c The book tells the story of (a family who have been separated).
. The first thing that happens is (Sarah leaves home).
. The main charader, (Marian, is a teenager who ...)
. The most interesting character is (Joe, the young man who lives ...)
. The title is really good, because (it is mysterious and it makes you want to
find out what it really means).
. The story takes place in (the South of France).
. Events revolve around (a robbery).
. The ending is very exciting because (it is completely unexpected).
. lt would make (a really good film), because (it is such an exciting story).
o The best thing about the book is that (the characters are so interesting).
o I would recommend this book because (it is easy to read).

o The

$'riting reference (Paper' 2)

Useful linking words and phrases

I love travelling. I don't enjoy long flights,

Time sequencers
before, after, after a while, eventually, late4 then, finally,
as soon as, at first, at last, when, while
I immediately phoned the police. While I was waiting for
them to arrive, I watched the house.
At first, no one got out of the car, but after a while
the driver's door opened.
And then lfinally found what lwas looking for.

These expressions introduce a subordinate clause of

contrast. lf the subordinate clause comes first, it is
separated from the main clause by a comma.
Although he practised every day, he didn't manage
to improve.

Listing points
first, firstly, first of all, to begin with, secondly, thirdly,
finally
Our holiday was spoiled, firstly because the hotel was
uncomfortable and secondly because the weather was
bad.

Adding information/emphasising points

as well as (that), in addition (to), moreove4 furthermore,

not only ... (but also) ..., what's more, on top of that, to
make matters worse, in fact, as a matter of fact
The hotel was miles from the beach. On top of that, the
view from our bedroom window was terrible.
Not only was the hotel miles from the beach, but the
view from our bedroom window was terrible too!
ln fact, everyone is different when it comes to personal
taste.

Giving examples
for example, for instance, such as
I like pop groups such as The Backstreet Boys.
My town has a lot of things for young people to do. For
example, there are three cinemas.
Reasons, causes and results
as a result, because, because

of (this), so, therefore

a result, my

I have visited Britain several times and, as

English is quite good.

By the end of the day, you haven't managed to find

anything that you like. So, you go home frustrated.

Contrast

1 but
But links two contrasting ideas. lt is not normally used
at the beginning of the sentence.
Many people argue that TV is bad for you, but I
disagree with this.

however
However can come at the beginning or end of a
sentence. lt must be separated off by commas.
The advert claimed that there were huge discounts for
students. However, the discount was only 5ok.

however.
although, even though, though

I walked home even though it took me two hours.

Note: though can be used after a comma at the
end of a separate sentence that expresses
something surprising.
We lived in the middle of a city. We still had a large
garden, though.
whereas, while
Whereas and while are used to compare two things
and show how they are different.
She likes football whereas I prefer tennis.
My sister is very like my father while I take after

my mother.
While is also used in the same way as although.
While computers are important, we shouldn't let
them rule our lives.

in spite of (the fact that), despite (the fact that)

These expressions must be followed by a noun or
-ing f orm. Despite is slightly more formal.
In spite of the fact that they are expensive, many
people want to buy designer clothes.
Despite all the research that has been done, we
still haven't found a cure for cancer.
in fact, the fact of the matter

is

This is used when you are saying what the real

truth of a situation is.
According to the brochure, the service is free for
students. ln fact, students are charged at the same

rate as everyone else.

On (the) one hand .... On the other hand ...
These expressions are used to introduce an opposite
point in a discussion.
(On the one hand,) if I take the job in Milan, l'll
be able to go to the opera. On the other hand, if
I take the job in Barcelona, l'll be able to go to the
beach.
otherwise
This is used to say what will happen if something
else does not happen first.
You have to choose your holiday carefully.
Otherwise, you could be disappointed.

$Titing reference (paper 2)

Sample answers

Sample answer

scripts were written by students.

]he fo!lowing
paper 2 generat
.1"
marking g.iid"tin", on the
l"?9
lnstqe back coveL and use them
to help you

evaluate each answer and decide on

iti strong and
weak points. Then read the comments
liven and
the suggested band score,
."rf"re your ideas.
"nU

Semi-formal letter (part

1)

Task
You recently entered a competition
for learners of
English, and have just received a letter
from the
organisers of the competition. you
have made some
notes on the letter.

Mrs Tl,ova7son,
Thank yatr very vrnuch {ar the letter. a ava vev.y
Tleased ihai I've wan the 7v'ze. a would like ta
Dear

firsi aS all, 1 wourld like ta knaw whether the

retuna {light ls a divecl {light ar nai. 1 watrld like
lo booV a dlvecl {light becruse ii is vrauch rrnare
covrlovlble.
like ta knaw haw long we ave
being teached evevy day and i{ ihere are classes in
the vnanning ar the u++evvoot.,. Is ihere a
/ifferenae between Vancouvev md 3m Fv*lc,sco
S,ec,orrdlyt

f.

colc,emirvg

Congratulations! you have won first prize

in our
competition - a two_week trip to Vancouver
or
San Francisco.
Your prize includes

Direct flight?

return fligh.to rhe ciff of your choice

*: FREE two-week
course at the Vancouver or
San Francisco School of International
English
* Two week's FREE
accommodation with a
family

TII

we rook rorward ," n.u*-!T"?J y"",?r:6{::

have the information we wllt senjyou
your

tickets and further details.

wole

this

paint?

aboul a

lvee rccovrrnodallor wiih

Thornpson

Jacky Thompson
Competition Manager

l\e o77o*unity ia

cooL by v'nysel{? Please

also knaw the distance fvavtr the schoal.

addresses.

lef

vrne

Frnally, 1 wourld like ia asV- yo,t, i+ i+ is Tossible to

stay at schaol lov m extra week. If it is passible
Tlease let vrae know the Trlc;e 7- V,ave lo 7ay.

lor youv assistance

l loo! lovwavd ta hearing Grovn'1or.r, soon.

like ta thank yara in dvanee

aad

Youvs sincerelp

week?

Comments
This is rather long, but there is no
irrelevant

appropriate and ideas are organised in

2lear
paragraphs. The style is sometimes
too formal

Write a letter of between 120 and

150 words in an
appropriate style. Do not write any postal

favnily. Are the vraeals included avl/ov do llnave

information and the student .nr*.o

.tt'purt, ot
the question. He makes a couple of grammatical
mistakes (e.g. we are being teachedla
iree
accommodation), but these don,t cJuse
problems
in understanding the meaning. H" ,r.,
u
wide range of structures, althlugh f,. {r,t.
t.nJ, to
repeat I would like to know. Voclbulary
is

Yours sincerely

Jacky

You

waurld

Lennari lAosev

We need. to know your choice of city, your

preferred dates, and if you would
hk! us to
make any special arrangements for
vou.

go

San Fvancisc,o bec,ause I have nevev been ta the

USA befare. Howevev, there are seveval Xestions
I waurld like ta ask.

ta

\e.9. concerning this point) but the letter would

nave a very positrve effect on the reader.

Band

\\i'iting rcfcrcrrce (Papcr 2)

Story
Task
Your teacher has asked you to write a short story for the schools English
language magazine. Your story must begin with the following words:

It was not easy, but Carol knew she had to do it.

Write your story.

Sample answers

ll wtts nol ettsV, but Carol knew she had

i'l she waj jn Trieste, tl&/L/ She cene lo do
lhere lo
vis;l her {riend }lij nene ij Sle{ano
who she
nlt ;n, I.h1,r klnSuaSe school ;n eq/a.nd Actua)/y
she d;dn't kro,^t aboul ltoJt/ unlil
she nef-'rt;a.

to do
It uras ncrr ea53, bur Carol trnea sYe krad dith
river'
bi3
it. In front of l'rer lle-(e Lod3 this
and thi5
Datef that r,a5 ronning vecr3 fas'f'

she cou/dn'l spea/< lfoJ;a.n, was nol

Sood el
lla),:an

could hear the

rubbe( dingh3. behina W'( sVpi5 onlS abour 8c
guide exPtaining thaf the Dater
thaf
iar^. F.rrtt'eft^o(e, he fold to Cacol's grouP
l|rerT
*PCe d(e 5ome dangecoos places' aYece
1te
thaf'
After
Stlide
have to +arLe 3Pectal cd(e'
moment'
one
For
smifed and c(\edt'Le;l'3 go!'
b\fi thi3 riverCacol uras thinLing of an escape'
from her
ratnng toor Da5 her birthda3 P(e*-(*
She uras the
friends, and -rhe3 dece all +\'e(e'
5a-t dodn
last one oho got into the boaf' and
join
at the bacL of it' She tried to 5mile andvefj
tle- ollecs Plear3o(e' U''.)De'rec' 5he Da5nt
eues and the boaf
!'occe35l;ful. SY\e clol/'d rle(
the
*+ ol*. Afrer a dhile, Carol began to en1o5
end'
the
at
and
fun'
tcip. In facf, it aas g(ea:t
declded fo booL a next
r,ohen theS arrived, Cd(ol
triP tDo aeeLs latet '

56

geo3raphV

As

-Lhe

{t:rsl nisle/<e, she lhoughl _lhel T7,p37s

lo h;s house, but it wes his {au/t. tle

w&s c/ose

/,ved in Trento, ne&r Verontt. She

shou/d haye
Used a d,{{erenf Atrpor-t. Tr;este
tu:rporl NAt
+tile sna//. Jhe wasn'f ab/e .lo {;nd a person
who can speo-k engl;sh.
As lhe bggest qi5lake, she couldn'l
cLJ/ hit4//
She usuoJ/V confactec/ w,lh h,:a bq
ena./s, so she

dtdn'l

how lo cal/.
connunica-fed w,fh llal;an people
with body laryuage natrV t;nes,
She d,dn,f q,ve
/<now

3he fr;ec/

up.

to

l{

she gave upt she cou/dn'f ueet

h;ri br"
h^ lo CAll hin//
evenfuoJll she was ab/e to
loJk w,lh h;n.
-rhree hours laler
Ste{ano Cone lo her al
lhe ourpor-l She ehouled {or
"ste{an)//
hour Pa-sf ... and she /ea-rned

I nisied you//"

1oy

Comments
A This answers the question and gives some detail,
and there is a clear beginning, middle and end. There
is some good accurate use

of language (Behind her

she could hear the guide explaining; After a while,

Carol began to enjoy the trip) but there are several

mistakes with reported speech (e.9. he told te Carol's

group that there are some dangerous p/aces) and
other mistakes (e.9. ar+ escape, a next tnp). There is
some use of direct speech to add interest and there
quite a good range of vocabulary, but the student
has not divided the story into paragraphs. lt has a
positive effect on the reader.

Band 4

re

is

B This is a lively story. There are quite a lot of

grammar mistakes (e.9. who she met rnstead of and
she had met him, she tried to communicated with).
However, the student also uses a range of structures
accurately (e.9. She should have used; She didn't give
up.) There are some mistakes in vocabulary so that
the meaning is not always clear (e.9. it was his fault
instead of He'd made a mistake; she learned how
instead of she found out houz). Linking of ideas and
sentences is not always clear. However, there is good
use of direct speech and a strong ending which has a
positive effect on the reader.

Band 4 (low)

\\i'itillg

rct'crcncc (l)aper 2)

Letter to a friend
Task

You have received a letter from a pen friend who is planning

to visit you in July. Write a letter to your pen friend, describing
the activities you have planned for his/her visit. Give them
advice on what to brrng and ask about any special requests.

Write your letter. Do not write any postal addresses.

Dear Di.go,

Hi! How are

Sample answers
A
Deav Cawla,

{ratt' yaa' I'rn sa s'rr7rised *F*, t^

say that'you've
comehere this tu"l-""' i haut'to

,u,""

lo

aYe

ir'l"rt

ot ld'^v vtall
vaode

decis\on.

a good

where yat't

so(Ae Tlaces
all, 1 worald like to vecommend .y.o\^
"e rtriss such as-seniosa island' for'r can have different
sha,rldn'i
like hav'n9^sunbathivrg' 1
rciiviiies llreve' For "'o-Ptt, i{ you wa'rld
',s +h; besi *'lit" +o relax' Dorn'i lovgel J?'bt'"g'
orld'

i.r.tt

ili.l;*"

It's grte
+f^i* ll"a Park is aEo.od 7lrce to visii'
are
L Lo"tst lo sa'1 thai'iowever i{ you really
avo+trd'
*i."it+,tl ir visiting there 1 "*la showl^^
e4'1ay ihe tt^"rr:Tl N"
i{'y*
seco'rdly, ii's
-r.ihe b"t;;:;;itt" L cw' aiv,,"ne ihe shoTTing table
i" 'ury' There{are,
#[;t';'
haw lnteresting on big sale
lov ,1a.1 will be ,"n' ,i,:it" i' tf^"* yot'r

don'i
swiv'rwearr
borina 1 l,ave lo

in here!

t*-t{+ Tlrat's becu"tse you

io 7'"7o'" some vnove evnTl'1
can h,rv ihenn here, oot't {orgJt

;;;;;

think your

suitcale lov

1{

yo''^r

need

bv\v9.1/ sreclll

'b.,Pjj*

ya,r have any 1^esi

ihevn,

i;i',

lo

ask rtre' 1'll do vny besl

lo

solve

rrra,"g lovuard to hearirg {rav'r you 4pin!

Best wishes,

you? Thank you

for

your

letterl 1'rn uery happy about your planl

OK! If you let rne know lour arrival
tirne, l will corne to you, at Narita
airport. lie thought about our plan in
Japan. i know you really like football!
So, how about visiting stadiurns of the
World Cup? You can visit a locker
roorn

in

Yokoharna Jnternational StaJiurt

where the final was held, and lou

see aulographs of Brazilian national
tearn rnernbers.
In Jul5, Japan is very hot, but

can

sornetirnes there is a heavy rain so

you have to bring an urnbrella. And
there are lots of rnosquitoes, you
rnust bring a rnedical crearn to
protect yourself against thern.
Do you haue any special requests? If
you have any, please let rne know. J'll
try to do itl
I'rn looking forward to your repl5 and
to rneeting you in Jul5!
Lots of love,

Yuka

Cavel

Comments

A This is a full answer to the question, with a fairly

good range of grammar, but there are quite a few
grammatical problems (e.9. recommend you some
places where you instead of recommend some places
to you which; interestingin instead of interested in).
Vocabulary problems sometimes make the meaning
unclear (e.9. I can arrange the shopping table

for

you). Paragraphs and connecting words are well used

and the style is generally suitable for a letter from a
friend. lt has a satisfactory effect on the reader.
Band 3

B All parts of the question are dealt wrth, in an

informal style. There are some grammatical mistakes

(e.9. there isa heavy rain)and problems in pronoun
use (e.9. l'll try to do it!) but the student uses tenses
accurately and shows a good range of vocabulary,
and the paragraphs are clear and well constructed.
The letter has a positive effect on the reader.
Band 4

2t$H.{+,&ifsi

\\'riting rcfercnce (Paper 2)

Essay
Task
You have had a class discussion on what people do in
their free time. Your teacher has now asked you to
write an essay, giving your opinions on the following

statement:
Shopping has little value as
Write your essay.

a leisure

activity.

I believe thaf shopping can be one

of ttre
importanf fhings people do,
liLe eatng and
sleeping, and for .sorne shopping
is t#tc chance
fo do their favourH re fhings like
dalking and

Sample answers
A

De.s shopping have. /itt/e. vqtue. 4s q te.isvFe. aclivifi?

1 +hir:,R nesl- p.op/e, ar^e. re.a//y Reeh oh sh-,pFing
&t+ is it re.a/r\1 v*.fv/?
For exqr^ple., if twe atsR s+vlen+s wAaf i'ley'ne goiag
lo lo in a 6ig c-ifi, |he a?swe.rs +re. alatos+ ahways
'shoppingt, 4n/ fley /on'i +hinR a&otrf going to
upsev.^s anl sght-see.ittg. /i,osi- |ovrisls go shopf;rtg
so.aeti.^e insleal of lo ee. lle fdtdts plqees a4/
so *Aey loh'i le.qr4 a$ov+ ptaee.s tley visil.
I'loweven, Fople who e-t1ioy shoppittg /iRe eve.ry st4ge.
a6ov| sh.,pfing, froa winlow do2piet l.ryitp
c-lo/hzs oh, +hihRitlg if |hey s,/lc,t/H by or t1o+, to
6"yiry. 11e. finat st49e. is to k sqtisfie.l wil.h eeiag
whai they have bughl in the;. hovse or wearing it
ih fron+ of t)*.in ainor like a fasAion sAow.
1\is aelivity is pnove.l io 6e d eoaplele. leigtre.
aetivill. Ia/ee/, 7 neql 4h qFtiele. in a newspafr-.n
c-a//e/ t Shopping is a .w1y +o ne.lqx'. Y{e shon/l 4// vse
this niee Fe./qxalioh 4h/ ,p+ fee./ gvilty. Dohtt yov

friends.
the one hand, I

meefing
On

that

think-

i.5

true thaf

shopping ha.s no value in

sare lifestSles. peoVle
think of skopping ontg as a chance

1o ao
rhe3 Dant, and rten ir is an
e3cdpe
from doing fhings the3 should
do. f mean
people go shopping instead
of do aocV_.

y:y

Hotrever, o-the(3 think_

[?.n: i"#;:r
d':cuss

of if

a.5

chance

_.Llpff: l-"
eve(3 da,3 problems
- for

example,

to

*^"

if

3ou have gof some problems, in that shopping

time 3ou mighf listen +o oll_te(s
problems and
fhinL that uJoo(3 a:ce nothing
compa.ed to

lleics. ff can

make

aocv- vcessore and

oklo krave a hard

In

i:?:"[il ";:rX

=""
1ob and lifesnlle.

it's tcur
u,r p"op"'#l*ll?hi.'.ln
means that sknpping (,ill be
priceless fo(
conclusion,

*ft.

thihR so?

varue,

t*
some.

Comments
These answers are both Band 4, for different reasons.
A This has clear organisation. with paragraphs giving
points for and against the statement. However,
first sentence just repeats the task. There are
good expressions (e.9. if we ask ... the answers
almost always'shopping') but also some grammatical
mistakes (e.g.go shopping sometime instead of
see). There is quite a good range of
vocabulary, but the style is too informal in places
Don't you think so?).lt has a posrtive effect on the

the
some
are

to
topic-related
(e.g.

reader.

mffi;

This answers the question clearly and uses a wide

range of vocabulary and some good expressions (e.g.

think that yours are nothing compared to theirs).

However, there are grammatical mistakes (e.g.
instead of do work). The style is appropriate. The
conclusion clearly returns to the question and gives a
nice summary of the writer's opinion. lt has a positive

effect on the reader.

\\'riting reference (Paper 2)

Report
Task
The owner of the school where you study English has decided to make
some changes to the school classrooms. He has asked for ideas from
students about what should be done to make the classrooms better places
to study in. Write a report making suggestions for how the classrooms
could be improved.

Write your report.

Sample answer

Tdroducliot
ltnis reporl is lo suVVesl wt*al we qeed

otrr scl*ool.

f asfed"iludeqls lor llneir

B^cKqro4'^d

lo

wnKe

llne classroons beller

it

ideas.

sllualiot

Mir,sideavoodsch"ooI.classrooy'"sis|v,^||heyaIIt,,"ave
aII ltne eauipneql sludeqls niql*f qeed slarliqq trow lt*e esse"+tfia!
lni.nVs !.i!."'c,rair, blac0boards, #to,rn,^V wiIh acLssories !-iQe teLevisioryts.
Suq,aeslio'rrs

l'cf,r+aillrlr1 believe lhal lwo ttn,illls qeed

to slart our p!.ar lo

iwprwe

tlte

school claslroows, lhey aLre rLo,yleT"atd qood na+aqewe+tf , Mq idea ot

i,,prwi,w lhe classrooLs is fo
*i+t *hal *"Uhav" o^d %" what ry,eeds
rep!.aeed with a +tew
lo be ripared a+td whal .t.;as lo"tflr+
be lhrowt
^w^T ^'nd
eauiowery,l aryd <owe cowpl+ers lnal lne sfudlery.ts niqhl teed a!.so havi+q a
r,Jhssiu, !.iberrary is o+r'ot lhe nore inporta+f +ninV! lhatt sfude+tts
reoueq.l . Aeali+tx arytd air co+difio+ir,V
.yLecess yt +o w^Ke +he
^ye
alunosph"r" iu fn" c{assroon"s co1..

+?ersoryra!- ooiryrioryr
Ttt co+clusio+t, lhe cha+tce
disfa.otce,

iry,\acf il ist'| ,

befwee+, ltavi'tw

vert6

Vood

of haviuv a vood c{assroor"s !,ooKs east lron

thalu *euwust lry lo 1;^d ltnt bun!,n^"t

a'vtd

schoo!.

a+d

tot

spell.d;+',V loo wucl*.

Comments
This report makes some relevant points, but the style is more suitable for a
composition than a report. lt would be much better in bullet points.
It is not easy to identify the main suggestions because of problems with sentence

linking and punctualion. My idea of ... isto startwith whatwe haveis good. The
problem is the sentence is too long and needs splitting up, e.g. My idea of improving
the classrooms is to start with what we have. Then we can see ... . There are some
problems with passive forms (e.9. what it's need instead of what rs needed) but also
some good expressions (e.9. to start with what we have; we must try to find the
balance between). The student has a good range of vocabulary although this is not
always appropriately used (e.9. massive, cosy) and there are some spelling mistakes
(e.9. repared, liberrary). lt has a satisfactory effect on the reader.

Band 3

$'riting reference (Paper 2)

Article
Task
You have seen this advertisement in
a magazine for young people.

Sample answer

ao.ao.."t'ooto"'ootttt:
ao

z. I'd
ao

love to have

''

'

:
I w.it" an article about something :
saYing :
I uou would like to have' have
it ;
to
like
would
;hY
:
You
woulo
:
I and what difference-.ltlife'
to Your
*utte
:
i
:
article
i- ,n, writer of the best
'*rU
comPuter'
i.
,in o tiP-nP
:
::
!.aa.'oor..t'oo"o'o""'

Write your article.

I'd /ove lo have /of 6,{

none/ a/though I
lh;nk a6ns,
nof:Lo p"rf"":f"lltu1_
.;o

i":;:""^'"J:
fo do
Above aJ/, I

1y;*',',t
=nl/ of

ol
t-;L;;;l,lqh,on"v,
fh;rys wh;cl t wanf

want
o"cautJ"tt' ,:t^'X 1?-:,tu1' ;n olher

coonfr;eo,

,i'

;; ;;,:
,'Hff, l!"d;,;,.c
19tr;i;"",
-/he {ee o{
aboul
"1^327
.j,1"i1lr',r"'r-r"li?.i"fL
on// ConcenfrAfe on efudl'ng
at io'3 as I do
nv besf.
second/l, , ,*,o-:l:
{or ny pa.ren,fs t/fioqh-tl")
l1,,e,ecare a /ove/y
:o-uu,
4;oyn,1
t3^j:^n1
al at/, t fhtnk' ii""
""rfrot
\,.--r,,c. zeryices ;e^so hard to
con_t,;nue al
,

-,t"iil,i", t hope
,leurs
iI;[ ft":;,:,r:n:" fhen
re/ax and ep,1oy

/,1.e

lheir

On fhe olher ho.nd,

peop/e
'i//neee who are su_

!e/p fhe ott,er

", "* lron
/ack n{ {ood,
;- .;ulter'n3
",
,y
a, r
t, o-,,""^u, rZ
e,
o!!5' jfr:,
1, "
t were ,'"'' t ['ozti: lo "s, "
=
',i1r!!!':L
;::i2*,,
Sonefinee, nonea .t
aut-'i'ii,'|-:,";y be usgd ;n a bad wav,
;;

:^:.t, onrv lofo,';:;,';;7i'

oPPortunitl
others

:rry"r,;r:y

then'

Comments
This answer gives relevant information and answers the question. There is qurte a good
range of structures and vocabulary but these are not always used very accurately (e.g. lf
I am a rich person, I will spend them on not only for me instead of lf I were rich, I
wouldn't just spend the money on myselfl.lt is also difficult to understand exactly what
she wants to say about her parents in the line Although they didn't say to me at all, I
think .... The paragraphs are well planned but there are mistakes with linking words
(e.9. On the other hand instead of, e.g. As well as that) and with punctuation. There is
a mixture of informal language (e.9. Of course nofl)and formal language (e.9.
Therefore).lt has a satisfactory effect on the reader.

Band 3

\\'riting rcference (Paper 2)

Review
Task
Reviews needed!
of your
on films today' Write us a review
We need a young person's perspective
features
the story, characters and any.special
favorite film. Include information on
people'
you would recommend the film to other

of the film and say why

Thebestreviewwillbepublishedinnextmonth'seditionofthemagazine.
Write your review.

in lfalS'
fo tell 3oo abotrt a movie ced\\ Cng-o3*'d
Muccino
&abciele
b5
'L'Uttimo bacio' (:-It'e Last Kiso) d\(ected
in 2001.
game ttme in dhich
lt is <-+ in an Ifalian citS in tte
i5 faLe a
dclo(3 Pb3, in lac+, s\p- dl(ecld's Po(Po3e
us aboul
fett
rnovie
The
plausibte p,J*" ol g'opd-'s life'
'+)e
b3 trc
dor(ied
cft=j3 of tu.ro difFsrent gsr\eration5
thei( resPor\5ibilif5'
di+ticuttS o+ grot^) uP and faLe
I

tlV {avour;le {;/n ;s coJ/ed ,$ on/y,.

besl 76a11n1,:g {i/n I have ever seen.

r.oanf

onJtgorekBrvl,.ttr.(ed(e-thicrSSearsotdPeoPteDk|o

of life brf ead and

fhinL dedding liLe an imPocranf change
of doing it'
&t()\ts, 'tYY<-relqe 1\P'1 d(e verS friSkrtened
tteif
5olving
el4' lo
pceleccing an atFair urith =orneorre
cotPle's Probtems'
Crr

fie crther hand, ht+'7 Szacs otd

pe'opta

are frigkrtened

of gfoding old'
ghorr a didesPread
I thinL llv- s+orLj is raall3 toPical and
reallS
is
Sood' tte
sifuation, l+e acic'.-'performarrce
a g(eaf fitm I
i5
Af*rotrgfr
diatq3ue5 ace +dl'r and accufate
this is
brrl
mu5f admit thaf it i5 a bK foo 5ktoufed'
Mecirro's st5te.

'r ac+oc3 and Sood dialogue-5 and edifing'

boring at all
bac\o' \s fealli intecesfing' rrcrf

A good 3+o(5,
'L'Ut-rimo

Eie

l.l

,s

the

l'l's

se-l in London and aboul a ho-rd-work,:t3

A /ove// vio/;n,,sl NonAn. -The nAn
;s loo busl lo lrtke care hi5 /ove
lte lh;nks work
i5 nore ;nporlan-l lhrtn hts
!;r/{riend. On the
concerl o{ her
Sraduation-he neels e lot; dr,ver
bus;nessnAn And

(tnd lalks wilh h;n ttbou.l

lheir love lte'rJL,r",
iotnelhtng but ,l's -loo /a/e
beceuse his girl{riend
d;es by cer &cctc/enl. lte re3rets
.r")il,rg,
Out

surpr;sihghy'

lhere ;s & greal cha-nce o{ l/v,;j with

her a3a,:n. tr,nally he cin apprec,:ate
her, bul
sad/q he has lo d;e ;nsleed
o{ t";s g;rt{r;"na

htlve seen

i.t 5 l;nes. Unl;/ I saw ;l J_q

*": Ju>-/ /ove slorV w,lh ilrarge ojlualion,l,:nes
'! /,:as, I
bul
/esl
can {ee/ Character,i {eeLnqs.so
;l
was a rettllq ronrtnlic
the ptot anj the eong
.{,:/n.
'4lu,a
o{ the eclress was fanfast,4 -The ,i"r,
be a b;t arti{icia/ and {ar_{etcrca
iui ii'ro,

{ocus on cherac-ler,s

sood precept Don,|

Qppre2[11s 6s.t

l{,lou {al/

,:n

love

:;i:,:;"';t*:i::;:;'

or /;ke ronance lou,// love lhis

Comments
A This review is a bit long, has some style problems
B This is a bit long, but is organised and easy to
and is not always easy to follow. On the one hand /
follow. The style and paragraphing are both generally
On the other hand does not link well Io two different
appropriate, and the writer has given her opinion.
generations. There is a good range of vocabulary
There is some interesting vocabulary although some
(plausible picture, taking responsibility, widespread
words are misused, e.g. precept. The sentences are
situation) but some words are misused, e.g. too
simple, but there is a range of structures including
present perfect and modals. Mistakes do not usually
shouted. There are basic Arammatical mistakes,
e.g. -ing form after prepositions (difficulty of grow
impede communication. The review generally has a
up). The review only has a satisfactory effect on the
satisfactory effect on the reader.
reader.
Band 3
Band 3