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Self-Amusement And Making Girls And

Dating FUN Again

Self-Amusement is a particularly important concept for nighttime game, like at bars and
clubs. Less so if youre doing day game, but the principles are still important.
The idea of self-amusement is that you want to have FUN meeting girls. That going out
is not supposed to be so serious, and the state you want really is to be totally relaxed and
giving out positive energy.
So self-amusement can be yelling, singing, busting jokes, chatting up the people around
you, talking to your friends from across the room. Making silly faces at girls, poking
girls, playing games with the girls like thumb wrestling. Saying things that are absurd,
hilarious, offensive, non-sensical.

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Basically have your own fun.
Be positive, radiate it!
So the key here is that you want to practice making yourself laugh. So that you can just
walk up to the girls and just make yourself laugh, and the girls will instantly be into it.
Because if youre going to go out, you might as well make it fun. Because if youre not
having fun, lets face it, the club and bar are pretty miserable. So youre number one
question you should be asking yourself is, How can I make this FUN for myself?

Why Self-Amuse? It Draws Women In

Self-amusement draws the women in like crazy because when everything is FUN for
you and no big deal, everything because FUN and no big deal to the girls either, because
of state transference.
So you can say shocking and wild things that might otherwise make a girl pissed off,
but shell feel good about it, because YOU feel so good. Meaning shes going to pick up
on your good state, not the content of your words.
And thats part of the self-amusement, is positive leading. Plow over any bullshit or
negativity a girl has. Just ignore it. Ignore any bullshit or negative nonsense and plow
the girl over with your positivity and what will happen is, the girl will be attracted to
your better state and youll pull her in, shell want to enter your reality of fun and
positivity if you just persist a little.
And then you never look like youre getting rejected either. Its more like the girls are
simply leaving your party which is more fun than theirs.

Dont Be So Logical And Serious


Because heres the thing. Most guys in bars and clubs are being too logical. Theyre too
logical and theyre too safe. Its like theyre giving the girl their resume. Hi, my name
is Joe, Im a cool guy you should get to know and I have X, Y, Z going for me, and
listen to this funny routine I memorized.
Screw logical approaches, screw rational thinking. You want to become the party, even
if it feels retarded. You want to approach, be positive, fun, and dominant.

Self-Amusement Versus Reacting


So let me breakdown a comparison of self-amusement to reacting to the environment.
Self-amusement: you control how you feel from inside, instead of letting the outside
environment and outside stimulus determine how you feel. So whether youre getting
good reaction or bad reactions, it doesnt matter, your state is internally generated.
Self-amusement: stronger emotions, you are where the party is at.
Self-amusement: you persist, you stay in set, because how you act and respond doesnt
depend on how the girl is reacting to you. You bring the fun, and you allow the girl to
react to you.
Self-amusement: total fun and nonsense instead of being logical and calculating.
Self-amusement: youre generating the fun instead of looking for other people to make
you happy and bring the fun.
Self-amusement: youre making fun to amuse yourself. It is NOT meant to impress the
girl or convey value.

Self-amusement: you dont care about the girls reactions, you have self-trust that all
people on Earth respond well to fun and positivity through the law of state transference.
Self-amusement: Youre pumping your own state instead of looking to the girls to pump
your state.
Self-amusement: Youre in your own personal universe, in your own reality of fun and
positivity, sucking girls into your vortex, instead of looking to the girls to make you
happy with validation.
Self-amusement: You generate your own positive energy internally, youre not pinging
off the environment or girls to determine how you should feel.
So thats a basic breakdown of how a guy who is self-amusing himself sees the world,
versus a guy who is reacting to everything in his environment and looking for positive
validation from girls to make him feel happy.

Make Everything Self-Amusing


So the best way to self-amuse yourself and be a cool, charismatic guy is to find
everything in the world as funny and entertaining to you.
Instead of being pissed off or down, or walking around depressed, instead by the fun,
positive guy who finds everything self-amusing and funny. And the girl will feel lit up
just by being in your presence.
If the girl is having fun then shell keep coming back to you for more of it. Look at it as
like youre offering her a gift of good feelings. Not that youre trying to pump up her
feelings, but by making yourself amused and happy and feeling good, youre giving her
a part of yourself.

Lower Your Standards


The key to becoming self-amused then is youve got to lower your standards for having
fun. Youve got to be able to make everything fun and be able to have your own fun,
even if youre by yourself. You can clap your hands to the music, smile, say hello to
girls in funny and strange ways to see what kind of funny and strange reactions youll
get.
Its like if your household chore is that its your job to wash the dishes, and you hate
washing dishes. Youve got to decide that washing dishes will be your favorite task and
start to love it. Youve got to lower your standards of happiness.

Dont Be A Dancing Monkey


Now, heres a word of warning.
Self-amusement is not about getting giggling attraction from girls or acting like a clown
to entertain them and get their approval or make the girls like you.

Its more about pushing the boundaries of pissing them off and breaking rapport. Youre
trying to make yourself laugh, not the girls. Thats very important. This is NOT about
impressing the girls and making them like you, but about having your own FUN.
So its not funny to the girls. It should be funny to YOU.
Youre getting your pleasure and kicks from the girls reactions, positive OR negative.
And because you draw her into what YOU think is funny, now the GIRL will often
think its funny.

You Sill Need Sexual Intent


Another thing. You also want to have sexual intent when you do self-amusement. You
can have a lot of fun and shenanigans and get tons of interest from women and own the
bars and clubs and have girls all over you.
But just having FUN itself is not enough to get you laid. You also need to have sexual
intent and physical leading and persisting in the set as well. You still need to man up and
push the set. So youve got to balance self-amusement with making a connection with a
girl and moving it forward.

Make Going Out FUN


Focus less on the goal of getting a girl to like me through a trial of sweat and tears,
and work, and trial by fire, and needing manly balls of steal, or needing to go through
this incredible regimen of constant self-improvement to just make a girl like you.
But transform the process into what it should be. FUN!!
Transform it into a process that actually RECHARGES your batteries, and doesnt tire
you out.
So that you can go out in a single day or single evening and meet a bunch of new girls
being very CHILL, very easily, with NO pressure, get a lot of girls instantly-on attracted
to you, and having a casual FUN time doing it.
So that you feel better, theres far less pressure, it feels good, you feel happy, and
meeting women becomes like your time off.
Its chill, its all cool, its fun, it recharges up your batteries, and as a side effect to just
being this glorious aspect of your life, you get laid with cuties! As just part of the
process of going out being cool and FUN.
Spending more time of your day happy and smiling and feeling energized and positive.
Itching to go outside, because you KNOW youll be meeting beautiful new girls, you
know that theyre going to be into you, and you know youre going to get physical with
them.
Where going out is FUN.

Going out is a blast.


Going out is truly awesome.
As a great way to have new adventures.
And to bring happiness and aliveness and vitality BACK into your life!
To develop a full dating life where you can meet a hot girlfriend whos really into you.

What To Say to girls and self-amusement


Now if youre having issues with your conversation being boring, or not having
something to say, its because youre being too serious in what you want to say and
trying to impress the girl.
Instead, you want to move toward being positive, playful, silly, not trying to impress
her, and think of how you can make this FUN. How can you self-amuse YOURSELF
with this girl?
And if you make the conversation about having some silly fun, and self-amusing, the
girl will have fun too.

Force The Fun


Basically, you want to FORCE the fun. Be the party. That no matter what is going on,
youre going to make this fun somehow, youre going to force it.
Thats what being the guy who is the life of the party is!
You know, the guy where everyone in the room can be tired and beat and slow, and this
guy shows up and the whole energy of the room changes. Him being around, you start
getting excited, laughing, its fun, because the guy is forcing the fun.
So how do you force the fun?
Basically having a really strong frame of positivity and that everything is awesome and
any situation can be made fun!
Also, you did it by lowering your threshold to have fun. You see, most people set a very
high bar for feeling happy. They think they can only feel fun and happiness if theyre on
vacation on a tropical beach, or if theyre getting laid with a hot girl. They need all these
conditions checked off before they think they can feel good and positive.
But really, having fun and feeling positive is always a choice.
You can just DECIDE to have fun in any moment.
And if you FORCE it, even if the girls around you are being bitchy or neutral or boring,
if you FORCE the fun, theyll enjoy your state more than they enjoy their own, and

theyll gravitate to your fun, literally getting sucked into your frame of positivity no
matter what.
Now this forcing the fun, and self-amusement is really critical in a club environment
where its essential to suck women into your positivity, and somewhat less so in day
game.
But even day game you can still be laughing with the girl, joking around, and shell love
your for that. The key is not to be canned, but to ride on the edge of chaos and let it free
flow.
So just self-amuse yourself, enjoy life, and girls will want to be around you. Dont look
for things in your environment to tell you now is the time to be happy, dont wait for
someone else or something else to pump you up with happiness, being happy is a
decision you make in every moment.

Having Fun Takes Energy


And that takes energy. Feeling good and having fun and sucking girls into your reality
does take energy. It takes work to force that smile, to force that positive energy, to
laugh, and to embrace what the moment is giving you and express that.
Its really easier to sit down and fuzz out in front of the television, it conserves energy to
chill out.
So while intellectually we think, Yeah, I want the girls, I want the party, I want the fun
and happiness, in reality its easier to just sit back and check our email.
So you do need to take action, and massive action at that to start the self-amusement
process and start changing your habits and neural circuitry to be conveying fun and
positivity to be fantastically fun throughout your day, in a way that DRAWS people in.
But once youve got that, girls are attracted to you because you exude the party, they
want to be around you, and they want to be just like you.

The Not-So-Subtle Art of SelfAmusement

by Darius Belejevas
Saturday, 22 August 2015

As Im packing my things for a four-day music festival, I remember all the crazy stuff
from the past events pure, unadulterated fun. Well, at least the parts I can remember.
For some reason, many of us have no trouble letting go and having fun during
vacations, music festivals, or camping trips, but fail to do the same when were at a
local bar, looking to meet someone new.

And this is what this article is going to be about having fun. Essentially, Ill try to
convince you in about 2000 words to do something that comes natural to every child,
and something that should be completely obvious to every adult.
Yet for too many this simple act doesnt come naturally were too invested in forcing a
particular outcome and planning every single step, as if we can prepare for dynamic
social interactions in the same way we prepare for a weekend road trip.
And while were sitting there, pondering what line to use as an opener to get that girl
into bed (yeah, as if it works that way) or mindlessly grind approaches telling the same
damn lines and analyzing the nights results (wait, was it 33 or 34 approaches?) life is
happening in the background.
With the corner of your eye you catch a glimpse of a random group of people laughing
and telling jokes over drinks. You think that they sound fun, but theres no time for fun
youre here to get women.
Unsurprisingly, for many guys, seduction and meeting women becomes a chore;
something that they need to dedicate blocks of time to every week and just work
through like a bad case of paperwork.

Self-Amusement and Having Fun


It sucks being stuck inside your head, so today, let me share one of the potential
antidotes. This is one among the many solutions however, the good old-fashioned 3
second rule, social momentum, mindfulness, etc. are also all perfectly fine alternatives
to this problem.

What is Self-Amusement?
Essentially its a mindset that helps you have fun and enjoy whatever youre doing. Its
your ability to entertain yourself (no, not with the me-time-hand).
Please pay special attention to the self part in self-amusement this has nothing to do
with entertaining others, only yourself. In other words, you simply do what you feel like
doing and see what happens. Sounds simple, doesnt it?
Here comes the tricky part: you need to be able to let go of seeking a particular outcome
or outcomes and instead operate from a frame of mind of blissful curiosity any
outcome is fine, youll have your fun either way.
A common misconception is that self-amusement is about being the loud life of the
party, and indeed it sometimes happens as a results (when we stop censoring ourselves
and the real I comes out to play), but its not necessary.

It boils down to this:


Something pops into your head -> you get curious -> you do it -> you see what happens.
Just keep in mind that all this process should happen in the blink of an eye; be
spontaneous if you find yourself in your head thinking about potential consequences,
outcomes, follow-ups, etc. its no longer self-amusement youre seeking an outcome.
What this means is that nearly every goofy technique or ridiculous line youve ever seen
pulled off is a form of self-amusement.
But make no mistake, its not a technique.

Its a Mindset, Not a Technique


As also with vulnerability, when guys learn about this very powerful frame of mind to
operate from they try to make a technique out of it copy actions, ignore the context.
When it comes to vulnerability, guys start to spit their emotional vomit everywhere with
the hopes of appearing more attractive, but only end up looking more needy and
desperate, then wonder why a woman didnt jump his bone.
And for self-amusement well, youve definitely seen it different guys use the same
actions/lines but get completely different results because, while one is doing it to amuse
himself and have fun, the other is seeking a particular outcome: Will it get me closer to
getting laid?
For this particular reason Id rather not use practical examples in this article you need
to understand that its a frame of mind, not a particular action like making eye contact
with a girl on a dance floor and starting to dance Macarena with her while keeping a
serious face (Tested. Worked. Dont do it.).

Why Self-Amusement is So Attractive?


Im sure youve heard guys boast about how they picked someone up using a ridiculous
line or wearing a chicken suit or whatever. Then youre supposed to admire their tight
game because its such a difficult feat to achieve. But the thing is, doing all those
stupid things from the right mindset (Whats the most ridiculous thing I can get away
with? Lets see what happens!) can be extremely attractive:

Youre completely outcome independent.

Youre being genuine and vulnerable.

Youre having fun.

Youre being charismatic.

Youre going for what you want (in a sense).

As you can see, acting from a frame of mind of self-amusement makes you naturally
more attractive and in many ways you get a green card to do pretty much anything you
want naturally, within the boundaries of the law, rules of the establishment, and
common sense.

How to Develop Your Self-Amusement Muscles


Self-amusement can be a tricky subject to grasp and act on if for years youve been
censoring and restraining yourself. So what Id like to share are some tips to help you
get going.

Its All About Curiosity


Genuine curiosity is the cornerstone of a self-amused mindset. You see, when there
is no external motivator left, because youre not aiming for any particular outcome, and
youre not trying to get something, child-like curiosity becomes the prime mover &
shaker to do anything and everything.
You do something because you simply want to see what happens; make an impact.
Now, for many of us, even our curiosity muscles have atrophied over the years we
forgot the joy of dismantling a new toy simply to see how it works, experimenting with
new sounds when playing an instrument or, yes, saying something silly to a cute girl to
see how she reacts.

So first things first, here are a few tips to help you get curious again:

Observe and notice Think about the last time youve been in a place that is
not your home (maybe the office, classroom, store, etc. somewhere where there
other people around). Can you recall what other people in there were wearing?
What were they doing? We spend a lot of time on autopilot in our daily lives and
its difficult to be curious when youre not paying attention to whats happening
around you.

Ask questions Both in your self-talk and when talking with other people. In
your self-talk try to replace assumptions (She looks like someone who goes to
clubs a lot) with questions (I wonder, how does she spend her Friday nights?)
and then translate them into actual questions: Aright, I gotta ask, are you a club
girl? For some reason you strike me as one and I just dont know what it is
about you.

Stop Censoring Yourself, a Bit.


We all get stupid thoughts like straight-up stupid (Hmmm I wonder what would
happen if I opened the cars doors while its going 80 mph, or I should tell her she has

a big nose), so over the years as we learned social etiquette and common sense we
started censoring and restraining those weird thoughts and impulses.
And its a great thing that we did, otherwise wed quickly find ourselves outcasts from
all social circles and probably find ourselves in real trouble more often than not.
However, the problem is that its also easy to go significantly overboard in the
other direction, where we find ourselves censoring everything other than what we
think would please others (your typical shy, nice guy behavior). We become rigid
and afraid that someone might take offense or that we may draw unwanted attention
towards ourselves.
Unfortunately, this repressive self-censoring and self-amusement cannot happen at the
same time. Actually, such self-censoring goes against genuine seduction youll never
get good at dealing with women if you never take social risks.
What this means is that we need to learn to let go of the leash we put on ourselves little
by little, until we find ourselves in a place where we can express ourselves without
causing any harm to ourselves or others.

Make Your Own Entertainment a Priority


Too often we find ourselves going to venues we dont like, doing activities that we hate,
and dealing with people we couldnt care less about, simply because others want to do
them or because we want to please someone else.
The thing is, when you truly dislike the environment or the situation in general it will be
very difficult to put yourself in a great mood and have fun. On the other hand, when you
enter a venue where you know your type of people hang out, your favorite song is
playing in the background, and the bartender is smiling, happy to see you again, it
becomes difficult not to.
Invest some time to find people and places you enjoy it makes a tremendous
difference and makes everything else so much easier.

Just Do It
Earlier I referred to self-amusement as something to deal with getting caught inside
your head, being paralyzed by analytical thinking, and the anxiety that follows.
But the thing is, sometimes you will find yourself in a situation where you dont feel
like doing anything; youre inside your head and just making this first action and
making yourself move and act is an emotional strain.

In such situations, just like with social momentum, you simply need to force yourself to
take the first, small step in the right direction, get those few awkward moments out of
the way, and soon you will realize that youre in your Do shit, have fun mood again.
While you do this, entertain the following thought in your mind: Lets see what
happens

Why Bother
Ive already talked about why self-amusement is attractive in itself after all, youre
just having fun and being playful without any hidden agenda thats hot. But Id like to
explain a bit more about its implications for seduction and meeting women in the real
world.
You might have noticed that in my articles I rarely share complete conversations,
approaches, or techniques used. Theres a reason for this when I go out (or sit at home
doing online dating) and find myself stuck in my head, thinking about tactics and
techniques (like in my last article), its an indication that something is not right and
more often than not it leads to crummy nights (and dates).
Most of my best seductions happened as a result of self-amusement, where I found
myself having fun, doing my own thing and what do you know theres a girl
around my arm and were going to my place (how did that just happen?).
However, as we covered earlier, if you try to make it a technique, youve already failing
at self-amusement (if you find yourself thinking OMG, I tried this self-amusement
thing last night and it didnt work I didnt get laid. This sucks. Youre doing it
wrong.).

So heres the takeaway self-amusement is a way of operating to increase your own joy
and satisfaction during interactions with women (and people in general) to make it less
of a grind, which in turn makes practicing and progressing so much easier. It does have
positive implications towards seduction, but it should not be your primary focus.
This also means that if youre on a long dry-spell and desperately need to get laid, you
should focus on that first (ref: You Really Should Be Having Sex). After that you can
come back and focus on having fun and learning to love the process to increase the
overall satisfaction (and make seduction easier in the process).

Finishing Thoughts
I dont know when, I dont know why, but somewhere along the line we forgot how to
have fun, and furthermore, started treating it as something childish; a weakness:

The gym is no place for fun you work hard to build your muscles.
Raaawwwwrrr.

Work is no place for fun youre here to make money and do your job!

Nights out are no place for fun (wtf?!) youre here to pick up women and get
laid, now start approaching!

And hey, I dont say that the grind doesnt have its place it does. But the dirty little
secret is that if you want to make something sustainable long-term you need to learn to
love it, make it a game; something you look forward to.
Seduction, after all, is based on human interactions youre talking and dealing with
another human being who has dreams, aspirations, and insecurities; someone who also
wants to have fun. Can there be anything more fascinating?
So go ahead, have fun, do something goofy, and see what happens.
Darius

Outer Game Extravaganza

Welcome and good day.


Its the end of the weekend and I want to crank out a quick rant on the often RSDneglected topic of Outer Game.
The basic distinction (as originally coined by tennis coach Timothy Gallwey) is that
there are TWO games going on in any sport: the outer game of all the motions, steps,
and techniques, and then the inner game of belief systems, mental filters, and emotional
states.
More or less...
(Heres a short video of Tim Gallwey on the topic of connecting with your higher self
for answers as opposed to looking for it from gurus -- just if youre curious who this
guy is or what he looks like.)
Anyway as weve already beaten to death, when it comes to success with women the
inner game tends to be the highest impact in terms of your overall results -- simply
because CONFIDENCE is literally what attracts women.
For example I was out with a buddy this weekend who grew up as a Jehovah witness for
10 years and had to approach people continually therefore fully numbing himself to
rejection.
At age 11 he was adopted by marriage into the family of one of the most prominent selfdevelopment organizations in existence, further pounding him with rock solid inner
game.
This dude is not a pick up artist and therefore has very little outer game in the sense
of formal techniques -- but could attract basically any girl that he chose simply by going
up and amusing himself and asking questions and making silly small talk.

He laughs and laughs, all day long... All the energy in the world, it's like being out with
Stifler from American Pie on a rampage.

I cant stress enough how EASY this guy makes it... and
yet, with the implementation of outer game he also gained a lot of useful knowledge
about the LOGISTICS of taking an interaction from open all the way to the end.
One of his sticking points, for example, is that most of his friends arent able to keep up
with him.
He winds up eclipsing them (and putting them into "spectator mode" where they just sit
there) because when he talks hes just more self-amusing and charismatic than they are.
This often results in him losing the girl he likes because she chooses to walk off with
her friend who's bored of dude's tongue-tied associates.
A quick tweak: Send in the friend in first so that he gets the brownie points of being
the one who had the spontaneity to approach, then once hes hooked attention just join
in and quickly split the four-way conversation into a two-way conversation so that the
friends girl doesnt get distracted.
Basic outer game...
See, even if you have the ability to generate insane and over-the-top attraction with a
woman just by CONFIDENCE ALONE, there is still the continual issue of logistics
to deal with.
Is she walking down the street with her headphones on??
Is she at the venue with long time friends who will irrationally judge her negatively for
going home with you??
Is her cell phone ringing like crazy when shes back at the house messing around??

These are all issues of OUTER GAME.


Ive beaten this stuff to death in the 2 hour free audio that comes when you sign up for
Jeffys newsletter (www.realsocialdynamics.com/newsletter.asp) as well as in the
DVD program Foundations (www.getfoundations.com). You can also find lots of
articles on them in the Articles section on RSD Nation (www.rsdnation.com).
Oftentimes Im asked if Outer game is still relevant?? and as you can see the answer
is ABSOLUTELY YES.
If youre looking at me personally as a dude who is "inner game focused" my "outer
game" is still tweaked and honed to the max from 6 years of going out.
This isnt Line number 1... Line number 2... Take away number 1...
Thats not my style, I dont do that, and in fact I dont DELIBERATELY do
ANYTHING to generate a response IN THE GIRL.
Rather, I go out and be myself and the ability to do this is what I rely on to create
attraction.
The question however comes down to What does it mean to be yourself??
Is being a needy, desperate chode the REAL YOU??
Is reading on the Real Social Dynamics blog that you should act like yourself and then
doing it to get approval being the real you??
How about going out in a bad mood and then complaining and dragging people down
just because you feel like it??
Well, I dont think that ANY of those yous are the real you.
The real you is that HIGHER SELF thats inside of you, and when you connect with
it, youre being yourself. Your best self.

Now how does this move us into the


outer game the approach, the phone number, the move to your place, etc etc??
Its really very straight forward, so perhaps what we need here is a hyper-quick outer
game tutorial.
STEP 1 THE APPROACH
Walk up and start amusing yourself. Simple.
The key here is that you need to get used to making yourself laugh.
If you walk up and youre just making yourself laugh, the girls will instantly be into it.
One of my favourites from the other night: Walk up and flex my muscles, move into a
Greek Olympian God pose, followed by silly Brazilian imitation style grinding for 5
seconds.
Stop. Look in the eyes. Hi there. Who are you?
So... utterly... ridiculous...
Girls laughing hysterically. Why??
When a man is uncontrollable and self-amused and acting through his own intentions he
then becomes attractive, and when girls are attracted they naturally laugh.
Is this a dancing monkey or entertainer frame?

No.
Why not? Keep reading.
STEP 2 CREATE ATTRACTION
Self amusement is caused by a change in where you reference your reality internally
or externally.
Most people crack a joke, look to the girl to see if shell laugh, and THEN decide
whether or not what they said was funny.
Theyre joking around as a subtle form of approval seeking which cuts down and
undermines their own humour.
KEY: DO NOT TRY TO MAKE THE GIRL LAUGH. SIMPLY MAKE YOURSELF
LAUGH.
THE GIRL DOES NOT WANT YOU TO ENTERTAIN HER. SHE WANTS A TRIP
INTO *YOUR* REALITY, AND THAT MEANS BEING EXPRESSIVE OF WHAT IS
FUNNY TO *YOU*.
Even if what youre saying isnt objectively funny she will laugh hysterically,
uncontrollably.
And if she doesnt KNOW why what youre saying is funny because its not the type of
humour that shed normally laugh at, shell sit there saying I dont even know why Im
laughing!! Youre so funny I dont even know why!!
Beyond that, I recommend adopting a sort of Zen view where EVERYTHING IN THE
ENTIRE WORLD IS FUNNY.

Choose to believe in this or not, but it will make you wickedly


effective with women. Scary good.
Notice here that all this is fully integrated into your natural personality.

Instead of being the sour-grapes SOB who walks around depressed, negative, bitchy, be
the positive fun and self-amused dude who brings value to every single person he
interacts with.
I had a German student the other night with wicked game but who lacked in being
overly expressive with his self-amusement.
As an exercise I had him do a retarded-sounding-laugh after every sentence where hed
say Heeh heeh heeh...
It sounded demented.
Guess what though?? In spite of it he beamed with fun and positivity. Its not a
permanent mode of being for him, but an exercise just to get him in the right state of
mind.
This is different from the laughing at your own jokes to EASE PRESSURE AND
RELIEVE TENSION.
Dry humour can be wickedly sharp when you dont laugh at your own jokes because it
amps up tension, but there is also a way to laugh at your own jokes that shows self
amusement and lack of neediness to whether or not other people find it funny. Be the
latter.
(Lastly, notice that the WORDS themselves are not creating attraction.... they're just
keeping her there feeling comfortable while NIMBUS AND POLARITY are doing the
attraction work for you effortlessly -- she is feeling lit up around you just by being in
your presence).
STEP 3 MOVE GIRL AROUND
Now while the girl is ENTHRALLED in your reality, which is sooooooooooo easy once
you get the hang of it, the next thing to do is swap her around into various
environments.
Boom boom boom, shes inside with you, outside, different rooms of the club, etc etc...
Guess what?? Now the two of you have history together. A brief, but at least somewhat
crystallized and substantial bond.

Nice. During this time she also sees how you interact with other
people, including the dickhead guys who might try to snatch her attention off of you.
Be cool and she sees all this, and it tells her that you know how to handle yourself
socially which is very attractive and important for her to see.
STEP 4 TIME TO GO TO THE RESTAURANT AND THEN HOME
Notice here that YOU are the one leading the reality.
It is TOTALLY NORMAL that you go to a restaurant after the club closes. Likewise to
go home.
You call this the this happens all the time attitude. Use it and move forward.
STEP 5 ESCALATION
Whether you want to...
A) Barrel through the kiss with the girl within the first 30 seconds...
B) Smoothly wait until she signals you part way through the interaction...
or
C) Deliberately hold off on contact until late in the game to escalate emotional tension...
...that's entirely up to you.
Some guys like to makeout within a minute or so just to get it out of the way.
How to do this?? Spark HARD attraction.
Duhhhhh, Tyler how do I spark hard attraction??
Its called NIMBUS.
Being FULLY IN THE MOMENT, and FULLY IN YOUR OWN REALITY.
Again, you walk up and boom boom boom you are just SO FRIGGIN FUNNY and SO

HAPPY in your own reality that NO GIRL COULD NOT BE ATTRACTED.


It is physically impossible for this not to work. The only girls who dont like it are the
ones who are insecure or whose parents just died or whatever.
The reason you dont spark hard attraction with most girls is usually one of the
following:
1) She detects incongruence because youre trying to put on a persona.
2) You are out of state because you arent comfortable in the environment.
3) Youre looking for her reactions to you to pump your state rather than drawing state
from within and offering value outwards (IE: you are in chode-reaction-seeking mode
instead of experiencing the natural good feelings in your own body that occur when you
open your awareness up to the present moment).
4) You lack your own standards and values and look to women to dictate your reality to
you.

As long as you arent engaging in this


nonsense you will get attraction.
Overly simple??
No. Youre just being overly complicated.
Now if you want to make out within 30 seconds just wait for her to start laughing and
then lean in and kiss her. If youre too scared then you can make an excuse like You
remind me of....... Wait a sec (frame her face with your hands like a picture frame) close
your eyes.... and then kiss.
Remember that if you do that last one then DO NOT do the classic retard newbie move
where you jump back out of fear for her reaction when she opens back up her eyes.
Keep there totally stable FEELING GOOD IN YOUR BODY by being in a semimeditative enthusiastic state and she will laugh hysterically.

Now if the girl is resisting the kiss it can also be a result of her not feeling qualified to
be with you, which points to a need to say some positive things about her.
Some girls are self-hating and negative and cant piece it into their realty that you really
like them, so in that case you can say You dont deserve this cause youre so crazy, but
I like you anyway... I dont even know why I just do...
This sidesteps the logical reasons because shes unable to see why anyone would like
her, so the only other route is emotional.
Alright so youve made out with the girl?? So what?? What now??
Shes kissed you, it basically means nothing. Most girls makeout with like hundreds of
guys a year. Theyll make out with anyone whos fun and non-needy and escalates
confidently because they enjoy physical contact as much if not significantly more than
guys do -- heck, they'll even make out with OTHER GIRLS most of the time if they're
feeling silly enough.

The next step is to just lay back and be cool.


Keep chatting and joking around and self amusing like it never happened, because for
all intents and purposes, it didnt.
Now what if you want to hold back to fuel tension and let the Does he like me or
not?? escalate in the girls mind for flirtation purposes??
Thats fine also. Just keep evaporating physical boundaries by engaging contact during
laughter high points and then disengaging while shes still totally comfortable and
having fun.
Boom, totally natural, this shouldnt be even something you think about because women
do it to each other and to guys naturally (because they arent all stifled and socially
scared like most guys are).
Then later back at home on a high point you can go for it at your own convenience.

Key here is to NOT be the delusional newbie who sees the window and doesnt take it,
using the I was waiting to build tension as a nonsense excuse.
Always bear in mind that male/female attraction is very much a dance with specific
steps, which is basically guy interacts in front of girl, girl gives guys signals that she
wants slight escalation, guy continues to interact in front of girl, girl gives more signals,
and so on and so forth all the way to sex.
If as a guy you miss one of these steps the window for escalation will typically close
and NEVER, EVER open back up (if you've ever had a girl sleep in your bed and you
didn't "do anything" in order to be a gentleman and found that she wouldn't return your
phonecalls after, then you've experienced this first hand... you were a douchebag who
dissed her by screwing up the dance).
It's cool to keep tension dialed but just remember that it has to be from a position of
CHOICE where she can tell that you aren't sure about her yet, not out of being too
socially inept to read the play.
(NOTE: Sometimes you have to push the flow through the clogged pipeline by playfully
escalating ahead of her schedule, and sometimes you go too fast and she doesn't like it
but it's all good if you just lay off and give her space, keep interacting and then wait for
the next signal.... it doesn't matter HOW SMOOTH you are, there will always be a few
missteps that occur and that's TOTALLY FINE so long as you're cool about it and keep
moving the interaction forward non-needy and fun).
Alright now as far as sex goes, well, Ill leave that to you guys to figure out on your
own.

As always its a combination of LIGHT and FUN pressure without ever being a creepo
or weird.
If the girl is having fun then shell keep coming back to you and jumping on you even if

shes giving you the dose of mandatory token resistance to fuel your male chauvinistic
delusion that she doesnt do this all the time.
Make sense?? Good.
The last thing Id say is that youve always got remember that youre offering a gift
here.
Any girl you hook up with should be able to brag about it to her friends if she wants to,
feel good about it, know that she got with a SUPER FLY COOL dude.
This understanding alleviates you of any internal resistance in terms of taking the right
steps forward.
Have fun!!
Tyler

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