BERT

DOUGLAS' s

A
B
C
BOOK OF
PATTER

GAGSPATTER
LINESJOKES

Arranged |n Easy Reference

Form For The Magical Entertainer.

WILL ALMA

M.I.M.C.

(LONDON)

SYDNEY

WILL ANDRADE
MELBOURNE

BERT D O U G L A S ' 5

A B C
BOOK

OF

PATTER
A n original compilation
of humorous patter lines,
alphabetically
arranged.

COPYRIGHT

Printed & Published

in England

EDWARD
LAMPTON

BAGSHAWE
ROAD,

LONDON,

&

Co.,

HOUNSLOW,

ENGLAND.

No originality
for

the

is

contents

claimed
of

this

booklet; the material

having

been gathered from

various

sources,
altered

and
for

arranged
magical

or
use.

The State Library of Victoria

" A L M A CONJURING C O L L E C T I O N "
DOUGLAS'S A B C
BOOK
OF
PATTER

APPARATUS
(The following remarks can be adapted to suit various
objects.)
I place the cards in the bag. Place the bag in the
glass. Place the glass on the table. Leave the
table on the floor, and hope for the best.
Can I borrow your . . .
I promise this will
do it n o g o o d .
N o w we will put the . . . back with the rest
of the parapher . . . parapher . . . back with
the rest of the things.
To make the . . . and the . . . change places
I give one blast on the magic whistle.
(Blow
whistle softly.) That's a rather weak blast, but
I shall use a much stronger one if the trick doesn't
work.
I asked the doctor if he could give me something
t o keep my hair in, so he gave me this empty . . .
(box or bag).
I will now give you a demonstration of wireless
transmission. By means of this force an object
may be moved from one place to another with
such speed that it seems hard t o imagine that the
place in which it is found to be placed, after it was
placed in the first place, isn't the same place as
the place in which it was in the first place placed.
(To lady:) Just write anything you wish on the
card. Your telephone number would be splendid.
I cover the . . . with the handkerchief with
a graceful sweeping movement. It took me several
weeks t o practise this. Half an hour every evening
before breakfast, and ten minutes every morning
after supper.
I am very proud of this . . . it once belonged t o
an American millionaireMr. W o o l w o r t h .
This . . . was a bargain I picked up in the S
and 10 store the other dayI d o n ' t know w h o
dropped it.

1 bought this . . . at W o o l w o r t h ' s , the price

was really five cents but I knew the saleslady
so she let me have it for ten cents.
It's Woolworth the money.
APPARATUS
(Miscellaneous)
If I touch the
. . . with the magic wand a
"wonderful metamorph . . . metamor . . . . quite
a change takes place.
W i t h my magic wand I give the . . . t w o taps,
one hot and one cold, and that makes all the
difference in the world.
One, two, three, and the . . . disappears like
a Scotchman on a flag-day.
W i l l you kindly examine this . . ., s i r ! I think
you'll find it like Mae W e s t i n good shape.
There is no difference between these t w o . . .
except that this one is empty, and this one contains
nothing at all.
ASSISTANTS
I once had t w o lady assistants in my act but I
had t o fire them because nobody paid any attention
to me.
I had a very beautiful lady assistant once, but I
had to discharge hermy wife thought she knew
t o o many parlour tricks.
I had a very pretty lady assistant but she joined
the Follies.
I would like to have the assistance of t w o
gentlemen. Are there any gentlemen present?
I am very grateful for your assistance, gentlemen,
and I would like to give you both a present. W i l l
you just sit down . . . for the present.
My next experiment is performed with the
assistance of these beautiful silk handkerchiefs,
and also this ornamental stand (point to assistant).
I used to do the Sawing t h r o ' a Lady act until
I found out that all the ladies I used were leading
double lives.

BOOK

OF

PATTER

BALLS
There are many kinds of balls. For instance,
w e have the tennis ball, baseball, snowball, fancydress ball, and here we have a golf (or billiard)
ball.
Things have been very bad for balls during the
depression, but perhaps the most hard hit is the
golf ball.
W h a t does a ball do when
It looks round.
Guess what this is?
highball.

it stops

(Toss ball in air.)

rolling?
It's a

I took up golf lately so I could understand some

of the jokes I read in the papers.
There's only one way t o win at golf, that is t o
keep your own score and play alone.
I was o u t playing golf with a friend of mine one
day, and quite unconsciously I started to whistle
" T h e W e a r i n g of the Green " ; well, after I was
u p and able t o go around again I learned t o do
this trick.
Golf is a poor man's gameat least there are a
lot of poor golf players.

CANDLES
I will light the candle because it burns so much
better when it is lit.
A candle is the cheapest form of light, it burns
from wick (week) end to wick end.
I have here a " M o n u m e n t of G r e e c e . "
I have discovered that a candle burns much
better in Scotland than it does in America. That is
because Scotland is the land of Burns.
You will notice the candle is burning at one end.
I just mention that because some people burn their
candle at both ends.
A little girl once asked her mother " W h e r e
does the candle flame go when it goes o u t ? "
The mother replied, " You might as well ask where
your father goes t o when he has gone o u t . "
This is a very clever trickeven the candle is
in the dark as t o how it is done.
W h e n the candle is wrapped in the paper it
gets quite annoyed, in fact it gets quite put o u t .
CARDS
In playing cards a good deal depends on a good
deal.
Cards can be used for hundreds of games, o r
they can be doubled in t w o and used t o prevent
the windows from rattling.
A friend of mine from Scotland when playing
cards would win one day and lose the next.
Now
he plays every other day.
I think there are fifty-two cards here. O n e ,
t w o , (run through pack quickly and mumble, then
say:) fifty-one, fifty-two. Yes, they are all here.
I can make a lot of money playing poker, but
I lose it all on the horses. You see I can't shuffle
the horses. ,
I shall count the cards very slowly (count in
French). O h , pardon me, that's French. I used
t o speak French very fluentlymy father was a
french polisher.

! ought t o have a pack of cards around somewhere. You know I can go t o a card party and
have a swell time, in fact, just as good a time as
if I had been invited.
My brother was a great card player, he was
always playing bridge, in fact he loved bridge and
even when he died they buried him with simple

honours.

My-brother is crazy about cards, in fact he once

w e n t to the grocer and asked for t w o heads of
cribbage.
Between poker and bridge I only see my wife
about one hour a week, but it's not t o o bad, an
h o u r soon passes.
W i l l you please mix the cards, sir, I'm told you
are a good mixer.
W i l l you shuffle the cards, madam. Isn't she
doing it nicely. Ladies are all good shufflers, I
mean generally speakingthey
aregenerally
speaking.
Kindly stand on your head when you see your
card.
Shuffle the cards thoroughly, I'll pick them up.
Is that your card, sir? It is! W h y , I t h o u g h t
it was mine.
W i l l you select a card, sir? That's the way;
you take things quite naturally.
Thank you, madam, it's a pleasure t o see a lady
make her mind up so quickly.
Y o u r card was a cherry colour, wasn't it?
No!
Black, was it? W e l l , there are black cherries.
I want someone t o select a card, someone with
a lot of nerve; any insurance collectors here
tonight?
You will notice that the Q u e e n is blushing, that
is known as a Royal Flush.
You will notice the King has only one eye;
that is due no doubt t o some domestic trouble
with the Q u e e n .
These are the largest cards they make in this
size.

The next card is the Ace of Hearts; here it is,

slow but sure. It has a weak heart and cannot
stand a fast journey.
Here we have the four Kings, happy and smiling.
Their quick journey has made them hot and flushed,
but everybody likes a Royal Flush occasionally.
Here we have the missing cardsthereby causing
great excitement and cheers of quiet.
Is this your card, sir? The gentleman says,
" Yes, darn i t . "
I snap the cards twice and that makes the trick
twice as snappy.
The last t w o cards I shall cause t o disappear separately, or one at a time, whichever you prefer.
I will now cause the card t o leave my hand and
travel right into my pocketwithout the aid o f
a taxi.
I'm not feeling very well tonight (drop cards and
pick up)however, I'm picking up.
( D r o p few cards.) Some of you might think I've
been drinking, but honest that's the first d r o p
I've had tonight.
These cards were quite small when they were
young, but they grew suddenly.
(Giant Cards.)
In fact, some people call this a gruesome trick.
This is the size of cards I use when I'm playing for
big money, but I believe you can lose just as much
money with the smaller cards. I had these big
cards made so that everyone would be able t o
see them clearly, it's so much easier than giving
everybody a telescope.
CIGARETTES
Cigarettes are like a bank accountthe less you
draw, the longer it lasts.
Cigarettes should be made of tobacco, but some
I have smelt seem t o be made of horsehair blended
with garlic.
It's better t o smoke here than here-after.
This trick entails a rise in tobacco (rising cigarette).

I know a man w h o can push a cigarette in one ear

and out of the other, of course he works with the
G o v e r n m e n t and perhaps there isn't much between
his ears t o stop it.
(iProduction of

cigarettes.)

This is much cheaper than buying t h e m t h e y

are all duty free.
N o t a cough in a carload(Cough)that
be the second car.

must

This is much easier if you have an orchestra

t o playsomething catchy.
You know I never get " fagged out " doing this.
I taught this to an Aberdonian once, and next
day he died . . . from exhaustion.
I always conclude this experiment by showing
h o w it is done, in fact I give the whole thing away.
(Distribute cigarettes.)

CLOSING

REMARKS

In concluding my entertainment I introduce by

special requestmy Exit.
W e l l , folks, I'll have t o stop now, (look at watch)
I'm a Union man.
That's all, folks, you can all go home now and
go t o bed.

11

BOOK

OF

PATTER

DEFINITIONS
(Suitable for spirit message

routines,

etc.)

WORK:

W o r k is an old English custom now

almost u n k n o w n .
DENTIST:
A dentist is a man w h o is always
looking down in the m o u t h .
HICCUPS:
Hiccups are messages from departed
spirits.
ESKIMOS:
Eskimos are G o d ' s frozen people.
ADAM:
Adam was the first man, he was
born on the longest daythere
was no Eve.
JONAH:
Jonah was t h e fellow w h o spent
three nights in the stomach of a
whale; at least that's what he told
his wife, but he would have t o t h i n k
up a better story if he was living
to-day.
CASH:
Cash is the jack of all trades.
PARABLE:
A parable is a heavenly story with
no earthly meaning.
MYTH:
A myth is a female m o t h .
CHILD:
A child is a gift from heaven to the
mother, a plaything t o the father, a
living t o the doctor, a nuisance t o
the neighbours.
B A C H E L O R : A bachelor is a man w h o looks
before he leaps, and then stands still.

DICE
Those gentlemen w h o go in for sports, especially
shooting will k n o w n something about this article.
I d o n ' t like doing tricks with dice because they
are so easily spotted.
D o n ' t be nervousthe spots are not catching.

EGGS
A n egg is very cheap when you stop t o consider
that it means a whole day's w o r k for a hen
The lady I bought this egg from said it came
straight from the country, but she forgot t o say
which country.
W i l l you please examine this egg, madam.
(Hand t o young lady.) If you want t o k n o w
something about an egg ask a chicken.
Eggs are not all they are cracked up t o be.
I want to borrow an egg, any sort of egg will
do, a hen's egg or an elephant's egg. I'm not
particular as long as it is a good egg.
D o n ' t squeeze the egg t o o hard, you might been
it.
The man w h o sold me these eggs said that they
were Empire eggs, I think he meant the Roman
Empire.
The egg has vanished; where do you think it has
g o n e ! U p my sleeve! O h , no, I often laugh up my
sleeve, but I never t h r o w eggs there, it's t o o
risky.
W i l l you please put your initials on the outside
of the shell. This will save a lot of trouble, I hate
asking people t o crawl inside the egg just to
write their initials.
ENVELOPES
W i l l you kindly examine this envelope, sir, just
step inside and have a walk around t o make sure
there is nobody there.
W i l l you please stick the envelope d o w n , I
would do that myself but I d o n ' t like the taste of
gum.
W i l l you kindly examine this envelope, sir. I think
you'll find it like Mae W e s t i n good shape.
This trick involves a number of envelopes,
and is beneficial to the stationery tradeit keeps
them moving.

FRUIT
I cannot do this trick alone, so I am going t o
let the Lemon-ade.
W i l l you kindly select an orange, Madam?
I could say take one but I like my tricks t o be
select.
( W h e n fruit taken): W e can now refer t o this
orange as Best Selected Fruit.
Kindly understand once you have picked
orange, there can be no ap-peal.

an

I want you t o take great care of that orange as

I value it very highly; it was one of the first
oranges that was t h r o w n at me when I started
doing magic. I get grapefruit now.

rQJ

17

BOOK

OF

PATTER

GLASSES
I used t o have a t r o u p e of acrobats with me,
but I only have one t u m b l e r left.
I like doing a trick with a glass because you
can put so much spirit into it.
From where you are sitting you see standing
before you a glass.
A r e you sure that the glass does not contain
any evil spirits?
It is necessary t o cover the mouth of the glass
as it resembles St. Peter's G a t e i t is the Soul
entrance.
You will notice this glass goblet has a foot t o
it, that is so it will not be arrested for having n o
means of support.
A w o m a n is happy before a glassa man after
one . . . or t w o .
This beautiful goblet was presented t o me by t h e
Duchess of W o o l w o r t h , it is solid gold but I had
it nickel-plated t o keep the gold from wearing off.

HANDKERCHIEFS
I am very proud of this silk handkerchief, it
once belonged to an American millionaireMr.
Woolworth.
This is a very old handkerchief, you can tell that
by the wrinkles.
This must be shot silk, I see a little hole in it.
This colour is only found in hot climates, but
all magicians go t o hot climates sometime or o t h e r
a t least most people think they ought to.
Everyone " nose " that a handkerchief has its
duty t o face.
Some people develop a regular b u m p for handkerchief tricks, t h e b u m p usually grows in t h e
middle of the face and is known to phrenologists
as the official organ of the handkerchief trade.
Someone told me this was a pretty border, but
I guess it was just a rumour.
This is an extra large handkerchief, but I have
an extra large nosethat is as noses run.
You will observe this handkerchief is in t w o
partsthe front part and the back part.
This handkerchief is made of strong linen
because it has a hard duty t o face.
I want t o borrow a handkerchief, in fact a
handkerchief is what I hanker-chiefly after.
This handkerchief has a stitch in its side, perhaps
it has been hemmed in t o o long in the box.
Many thanks for your handkerchief, sir, which
I return with gratitude . . . and no holes.
If you want t o sneeze while I have your handkerchief, sir, do not hesitate t o borrow one from
someone else. I w o n ' t object.
I push the handkerchief through my hand and
it changes colour, which proves that a magician
could make a very good living by dyeing.
This handkerchief cost me ten cents, I t h o u g h t
that was t o o much t o blow in.

HATS
I would like to borrow a hat, any size, from a halfpint t o a quart will do.
Here is an empty hat; I never wear it but it
comes in handy at h o m e ; my wife keeps clothes
pegs in it.

I have here a hat, it's absolutely empty, in fact

there never is much in itI wear it myself.
He was a man with a fine headseven and threequarters.

HANDS
In ancient days the hands
applauding clever magicians.

were

used

for

You will notice my hand never leaves the end

of my arm during the entire experiment.
A funny thing about my hand is that from here
t o here it measures exactly nine inchesthree
inches more and it would have been a foot,
I also have t w o handsone on each side. This
one is quite all right, but the other hand, on the
o t h e r hand, sometimes gets left, which isn't
at all right.
This is the left hand, I know it looks like t h e
right from where you are sitting, but if this one
was cut off the other would be left, so it's all
right.

21

BOOK

OF

PATTER

LIQUIDS
Some people advocate water as a beverage, but
if it rots your shoes just imagine what it would
do t o your stomach.
W a t e r is an excellent thing if taken in the right
spirit.
1 have here some of the stuff that runs under
bridgesto much for a drink and not enough for a
bath.
Bad English will ruin many a man's speechso
will bad Scotch.
D r i n k often makes a man mad, especially when
he can't get it.
The people in . . . drink beer like water, in
fact that's the only kind they can get nowadays.
There are more than fifty taverns in the t o w n
but I haven't been in one of t h e m . I w o n ' t tell
you which one.
A friend of mine is always dipping i n t o spirit
phenomena. O n e night he actually produced
spirits in my presence, and they vanished again
right under my nose.

MATCHES
I brought along my own matches as I was told
the audience here tonight would be matchless.
Most people think that the end of the match
with the head on it is the heaviest, but really that
is the lighter end.
I t h o u g h t matches would make a very striking
problem.
I will now t h r o w a little light on a dark subject by
applying a match t o the candle.
This trick has some very striking features, this is
only one of t h e m .
This is a matchboxthe only remarkable part
about it is that it is full of matches, apart from that
there is nothing particularly striking about it.

MONEY
Money is the root of all evil, yet I love to collect
the roots.
O f course I could keep collecting money in this
manner all night, but it's such a nuisance having
to carry it home.
The best thing t o feather a nest with is cashdown.
I will now make the coin leave the paper and
pass into the . . . which proves that good English
money will pass anywhere.
I came across a coin dated 1957; evidently someone is forging ahead.
It is easy t o make an American part with his
money, but an Aberdonian can usually hold his
own.
There are many ways t o vanish a half-crown,
for instance, a friend of mine takes a piece of paper,
wraps the coin in it like this, then he writes
some magic words on the paper, such as So and
So, 1 /- each way, and the money simply disappears
and is never seen again.

The reason money is made round is because it

is made to circulate.
Some coins have a woman's head on t h e m ,
that explains why " money t a l k s . "
Some people sing for money but others seem
t o do it for spite.
A baker w h o is always loafing cannot expect t o
raise the dough no matter how much he kneads it.
A man with money to burn usually meets his
match.
Everyone is at liberty t o make money naturally,
but if yoy make it artificially you are not at liberty
long.
W h a t ' s the use of money?if you keep it you
are a miser, if you spend it freely you are a spendthrift, and if you give it away you are a darned
fool.
I want t o borrow some money, I need a halfcrown, no cheques accepted please.
The idea of this trick is Capital, this is the
Principal part of the problem, I hope you d o n ' t
lose Interest.
I also perform with coinswhen I have any.
My next experiment is intended especially for
gentlemen as it has t o do with moneysomething
which women have very little interest in.
W i l l you make a note of the number of
t h e notejust write it on a piece of paper, or on
the shirt-cuff of the gentleman sitting beside you.
I am going t o place your coin in this telegraph
f o r m ; you know money goes quickest by wire.
I could get bills if I wanted, but I get plenty of
them the first of the month.
MISCELLANEOUS
(Random remarks suitable for manipulations,
etc.)
I think this is awfully simple, some think it is
simply awful.
Sometimes I do this with watchesjust t o pass
t h e time away.

1 performed this before the Prince of W a l e s

was King.
I've taken medals for thisbut I had to put them
back again, the fellow saw me before I could get
away.
W h e n I started you t h o u g h t I was going to be
n o g o o d n o w you know it.
D o n ' t applaud too loudly, the roof needs
repairs.
I performed at the Asylum last week, and everybody was crazy about me.
This was invented by a brother of mine; I have
t w o brothers, one living and the other one is in
. . . (joke t o w n ) .
You may as well enjoy this because you w o n ' t get
your money back.
I forgot to tell you I'm a little deaf and I can't
hear applause unless it is loud.
My uncle was also quite a gizzardI mean,
wizard.
I took a memory course once, but I just forget the
name of it.
I did this trick for a lot of Scotchmen and they
saw how it was done. O f course they were very
close.
If you ever find o u t how that trick is worked
I wish you would write and tell me, because I'm
just dying to know.
My next item was taken from the Student
Princewhen he wasn't looking.
This trick was well-known t o the old Romans
and some of you may recall seeing it done in those
days.
This trick was invented by a famous Chinese
necromancer named Hung W u n . I believe his
brother was Hung Too.
A well-known cricketerI w o n ' t tell you his
namewas completely stumped by this trick.
Have you noticed that most of o u r great men are
either dead or dying . . . I'm not feeling so very
well myself.

Chew G u m Long was quite a wizard but he gave

up magic and went into the laundry business
so that gave him a clean start.
This trick was invented by a brother of mine.
I have t w o brothers, one living and the other one
is married.
In days of old, people imagined that magicians
were in league with the devil and persecuted them
accordingly. Sometimes they burned them at
the"Stake, and sometimes they chopped off their
heads, but always they were given the choice
chop or steak.
O n one occasion my audience was so pleased
that some very rich members presented me with
a house . . . it came one brick at a time.
Nobody has ever been able to solve the great
Indian Rope Trick; that has been left to a young
and talented magician of the present day. You wil|
find my name on the programme.
The other night a gentleman in the audience
was so moved by my performance that he
attempted to shoot himself . . . the extraordinary
thing was the bullet only missed me by inches.
Ladies and Gentlemen . . . the manager of my
hotel wishes to thank the manager of this theatre
for giving me this evening's w o r k .
The last time I did this everybody was so pleased
they showered flowers upon m e t h e only fault
being they forgot to take the flower-pots off
them.
To be sure that spirits are present you have
t o get an expert to tell one. Even then you can't
be sure because experts tell so many.

O P E N I N G REMARKS
To make it interesting this evening I will commence my first trickfirst.
My opening trick is accomplished w i t h o u t t h e
aid of a corkscrew.
There is always someone t o take the joy out of
life, and tonight I'm elected.
A little girl stopped me one day and said, " A r e
you the man w h o did all the tricks at t h e t h e a t r e ! "
1 said I was. " W e l l , " she said, " y o u sure
fooled me . . . / thought you were going to be
good."

PAPER
I use a piece of newspaper.
The Daily Blah,
just an ordinary sheet of newspaper, only it was
printed during t h e General Strike (show plain
sheet of paper).
Some newspapers are black and white, but the
. . . is always read.
W h e n I was a kid I got spanked for tearing up
the newspaper, now I get paid for doing it.
I've seen some funny things in the newspapers
besides fish and chips.
Newspapers are made up from t w o things
wood pulp and other people's business.
This little novelty is entitled Paperology, but
it's not half so bad as it sounds.
I tear the paper through the centre and I have
how many pieces? T w o ! Q u i t e correct. That
proves the benefit to be derived from a college
education.
I place the t w o pieces together and tear them
again, and how many are there? Four! Right
again, the advantages of civilization are wonderful.
A m o n t h ago I was a 90-pound weakling, n o w
look (tear paper).
Some people say this is a ripping trick, but I
t h i n k it's tear-able.
You will notice I tear the paper up by tearing
it d o w n .
G o ahead, sir, tear the paper into pieces, just
imagine it's a bill from your tailor.
You may have noticed this paper lying on the
table, of course all newspapers have t o lie somewhere.
The chief conspirator in my next problem is this
copy of t h e Daily Times. Excuse me for being
behind the Times.
For my next experiment I use this sheet of
newspaper which by a strange coincidence is exactly t h e same shape on both sides.

PISTOL
I will now fire the pistol at the . . . you are
holding, sir, w i t h o u t hurting youvery much.
My object in using a pistol is because I notice
several newspaper men present and I want t o
get a good report.
This is my disappearing pistol, it doesn't really
disappear, but it sometimes " g o e s off."

PLATE
I have here a souvenir of China.
I value this plate very highly, it has been in o u r
family ever since it was a saucer.

POCKETS
For this trick I use a married man's pocket
(show pocket e m p t y ) p u t o u t those bachelors
w h o laughed.
You will notice this pocket is well
was made by a Scotch tailor.

linedit

ROPE
(Also suitable for ribbon, string,

cord etc.)

(Have circle of rope around neck.) This trick

is presented for the special benefit of several o f
my friends w h o have expressed t h e wish that
some day they would see me with a rope around
my neck.
You will notice the rope is so long that it
stretches from one end t o the other and back
again.
I am coiling the rope into loops so as to leave
myself plenty of loopholes in case anything goes
wrong.
This trick is right up t o date, we are all taking
cuts nowadays.
I will now tie what is known as a spirit k n o t .
I guess they call it a spirit knot because it is tight.
This rope is exactly S feet and 12 inches long.
( C u t rope through centre.)
It w o n ' t be long
now.
This is known as a Scotch k n o t i t ' s as tight as
any Scotchman could make it.
W o u l d you be kind enough t o select one of
these knots. You like that one best; all right,
will you take it with you o r shall I send it C . O . D . ?
C . O . D . O h , you can't take it, e h !
This cord was borrowed from one of o u r bedroom windows. My wife doesn't know about t h e
Lost C h o r d yet, and I'll be hanged if I tell her.
I once performed this trick and even the cord
d i d n ' t know h o w it was doneof course on t h a t
occasion I used blind cord.
I can't find the end of this ropesomeone must
have cut it off.
(After rope is cut.) You will notice that o n e
piece is a little shorter than the o t h e r ; but t o
make up for this the other piece is a trifle longer.
A conjurer named W a t t showed me this k n o t
it's called t h e W h a t n o t .

33

BOOK

OF

PATTER

STANDS
(Easels,

display

stands,

racks,

etc.)

I use an easel so that the trick will be more

easily seen.
Allow me t o call your attention t o this board,
I could tell you its past history but if I did perhaps
you would be bored. I d o n ' t want you t o be bored
stiff even if this is a stiff board.
Board and Lodging are both represented here
this is the board and I use i t f o r lodging articles on.
This is a perfectly plain board, you know what
that meansplain boardthe kind you get when
on your vacation.
I bought this stand from W o o l w o r t h ' s ; it is
supposed to be lyre-shaped and the salesman
t h o u g h t it would just suit me.

SCISSORS
There are t w o very interesting points t o this
t r i c k h e r e they are.
These scissors have quite a history, they were
used by Napoleon the 3rd t o cut off the head of
August the 4th.
These scissors came clean from Pittsburgthat
is some accomplishment t o come clean
from
Pittsburg.

TUBES
I have here a tube, or funnel, and if you watch me
closely the fun'll begin.
A tube o r cylinder is a large piece of air
surrounded by cardboard.
To prove that the tube is empty I will pass my
hand through it. There's no 'arm in that, is there ?
The best shape for a cylinder has been found by
scientists t o be round, so I shall make mine round
just t o be on the square.
There is no difference between these t w o tubes
except that this one is empty, while this other one
contains nothing at all.

THIMBLES
Thimbles are used
well, sew it seams.

by ladies and

Thimbles are manufactured

big thread-and-needle man.

"CD

bachelors

by so-and-so, the

WAND
Every magician uses a magic wand. I once used
a hot water bottle, but it leaked out.
The magic wand is really used to draw all the
fluence from the performer's body to one spot.
O f course if it comes out in several spots that's
the measles.
Here is the magic wand. You will notice it
has silver tips at both ends, that is so you can
easily distinguish the ends from the middle.

WATCHES
I w o n d e r if I could borrow a watch for a few
minutesI see a number of chains.
I find that I can get the best watch from a
married man, because married ladies always
keep a good watch on their husbands.
This is known as a silver leveryou see it is
really a lever (vanish) for it has already left.
I used t o d o this trick with a gold watch, but
circumstances alter cases.
I can tell that this is not a new watch, I can
plainly see it's second hand.
And here, said the young and handsome magician,
we have the same old watch, I mean the same
watch, and the hands still point t o three o'clock.

EDWARD BAGSHAWE'S

"MISSING
FILM STAR'*
MYSTERY
A PACK of Film Star cards is shown, each
card bearing the name of a popular star.
Pack is shuffled and cut into two, and
from one portion a card is selected and
shuffled back. Performer now holds this
half in his right hand and the other half in
his left, and states his intention of causing
the chosen card to leave his right handpass
up his sleeve, along the back of his coat, and
down his left sleeve into the cards in his
left hand. He riffles the cards in his right
h:md and says that the chosen card has
gone. He proves this by dropping the
cards one at a time upon table, and the
chosen one is indeed missing.
He now offers the sum of fifty pounds if
he fails to produce the chosen name from
the cards in his left hand.
He glances
through them and picks out one, which he
boldly affirms is the one selected.
The
selector, however, denies this. Performer,
slightly disconcerted, remarks that he has
not said just when he will produce the
chosen name, and again shows a card as
the selected one. Again the selector says
this is the wrong card. The performer
makes several further attempts, and finally
runs through all the cards, but the chooser
says that his card is not there. Apparently
the trick has failed, but now the performer
has a brain-wave and states that sometimes
the card gets caught in passing up his
sleevehe searches his coat and eventually

produces the chosen card from his armpit.

And now, to finish effect, he picks up the
rejected cards, remarking that he still cannot
understand how he failed to produce the
selected name. H e again shows the rejected
cards, separately, calling out the names
and as he does so he lays them out on
table (or stand) to overlap; and slowly
THE CHOSEN
NAME
IS MADE
UP BY
THE INITIAL
LETTERS!
The conclusion
is shown in the illustration.
This effect is extremely easy to work, and
can if necessary be done with audience all

round. Only the pack is required, which

can be carried in pocket, and the trick is
ready to work at a moment's notice.
PRICE, including high-grade pack of 40
Film Star cards, instructions and presentation (but without stand), 6/6, post 3d.
U.S.A., $2.00.

FROM THE PUBLISHERS

OF THIS B O O K L E T
ALL

LEADING

AND

DEALERS

Printed by Thomasons,
Hounslow,

England.

Ltd