and views.

Id choose the challenges of finding harmony with another headstrong woman any day over an affable next of kin who
voted for Trump! And harmony we did find in Southern California.
We toured through Hollywood, reveled in fine dining, and danced
down and dirty at the legendary Lighthouse in Hermosa Beach. I
was sorry to see them go. Hope Venice is a regular vacation stop
for them in the years to come.

TheBelsma Surf
and Ski Report

PLUS A FEW OTHER THINGS

THAT HAPPENED IN 2016

As 2016 rolled around, snowboarding was still high on the list of

antidotes to my post-menopausal midlife crisis. I was determined
to master it, or at least spend more time on the snow upright as opposed to flat on my ass. Im no fool though. With the bruising Id
taken the previous season, Id learned to take precautions: helmet,
two kneepads, two ankle wraps, two wrist braces, and two pair of
padded butt pants. Nerd? Yes, but when Harlan and I, Nanette, her
three kids, and her two big boisterous dogs shared a tiny cabin for
a few days at Big Bear Mountain, I came away unscathed.

The teenage terrors of Baja.

Club throughout Harlans Boy Scout career, I had some trepidation

over rooming with a Betty Crocker mom. Thankfully, I was paired
with Matilde, a French animal trainer who doesnt shy away from a
cold beer and a shot after a long day in the cold. I also lucked out,

lowlands was pleasant, but after a midway stop, more and more
Belizeans crammed aboard and the driver cranked rap radio up to
full volume, with the same repeated commercials blasting between
every tune. By the time we pulled into San Ignacio four hours later
wed had enough of public transport! The Hyet hotel, a hall of
barren yet cozy guest rooms that we could only access through the
living quarters of the proprietor, a friendly little old man with coke
bottle glasses, was our base for the second half of our trip. In no
time, Harlan had met village boys and visiting tourist girls alike. We

That little old wine drinker.

This past spring, Ron, Harlan, and I went to yet another Boy Scout
annual family camp at the rapidly receding Lake Lopez, where the
drought has pushed its shoreline miles from the camp. Harlan has
progressed from the renegade outcast, once (or twice) threatened
with expulsion by the Scout Master, to a member of the senior staff
mentoring the young recruits. While our son participated in scouting
activities, Ron and I hiked off the three gluttonous daily meals. Another Boy Scout outing we joined was a bike trip through the hills
of Solvang. I managed the 20 mile route in the one working gear of

being assigned to the fun van for the 40 minute drive to the resort
each day, chauffeured by our favorite scout dad, Bob, along with his
boys, Daniel and Gabriel, their buddy Sasha, and Harlan, with
Nanettes son, Angel, under his wing. Our motley crew always dispersed as soon as we pulled in the parking lot, but Ive been hanging
around the scouts long enough that Id run into people to tag along
with on the mountain. Once Matilde finally weened herself of her
young son, she and I were able to devote a day traversing slopes to
the backside. In group adventures, Ill see neither hide nor hair of
Harlan unless I hang on to his meal money and that strategy worked
just fine to ensure a lunch or two together on this trip!

As for our vacations this year, Harlan and I headed to Belize for
his spring break. I had in mind exposing him to 3rd world backpack
traveling and though we did don packs, it was a bit of stretch given
that the language is English and the dollar welcomed everywhere.
Id read Caye Caulker was one of the more funky islands so we
spent the first half of our trip there where Harlan obtained his scuba
diving certification. Id gotten my back in Australia in the 80s and
though itd been 20 years since my last dive, the locals dismissed

This is how we do it - Harlan version.

Harlan and I had one more snowboarding adventure before the
seasons end the annual Boy Scout extravaganza. After scraping
over the drought ravaged bare runs in Mammoth the previous year,
Troop Two decided to head to Utah instead. Naturally, an early season storm blanketed the California slopes just as all 80 of us
boarded our flight to Salt Lake City. Having boycotted the Mothers

Rebekah, Harlan and Hannah at the Stick.

and been left to wash ashore!

From fun in the sun, Harlan took off with his Boy Scout troop for
a tour of NYC followed by seven grueling days with packs on their
backs hoisting canoes overhead for miles overland between the
lakes of upstate New York. Meanwhile, Ron and I lazed around the
pool at the desert house and took a side trip up through the San
Bernadino mountains to spend a night in Idlewild, complete with
our own little outdoor adventure, hiking up to the fire tower atop an
8800ft peak.

Keep your eyes on the road, your hand upon the wheel
Rons cast off vintage leaden 10-speed while Ron cruised along on
his state-of-the-art carbon fiber frame. The thought, a selfless
mate would offer to trade never once crossed my mind! Poor Harlan fared even worse having not paid attention to the route (hes not
an Eagle Scout yet!) and cycled an extra five miles out of the way to
reach our lunch stop in Solvang.

Demo of the art of doing absolutely nothing.

with the formalities of annual re-certification and allowed me on the
dives too. Its a magical experience to float through the mountainous terrain submerged in the deep blue ocean, but I was disheartened at the bleached and dying reefs nothing like the
kaleidoscope of colors I witnessed when Dad took us snorkeling in
Puerto Rica as kids. I will say though that we did get to swim among
sharks, stingrays, and barracuda!

made a routine of walking two miles along a hot dusty road to reach
the local watering hole where wed plunge into the cool river from
a rope swing tied high up on the bank. We toured Mayan ruins and
went climbing through caves to ancient ritual sites deep within.
These tours provided lunches, and seated for one such meal
among the temples of Caracol, I attempted to squeeze a bottle of
hot sauce on my lone vegetarian order when the lid flew off, spewing the fiery red concoction all over my plate and my very white
shorts! A highlight of that days tour for Harlan, and for many others,
Im sure! The low point would be my feeble attempt at making Harlan study for the ACT in our dimly lit little room at the Hyet. Ten minutes of that it was time to head to the town fair for the evening.
Before we knew it, our ten days had come to an end. To hell with
roughing it, we hired a car back to the airport!
We spent the first weeks of summer as we always do, visiting farm
and family in North Carolina. Leroy bought a new batch of goats in
time for our visit, providing a rural backdrop for our Friday evening
family gathering at the
frog pond.
Tragically, one poor
creature was in obvi-

Size XXS.

Floating down the river of no return.

8800 alititude and we find a fossilized Goofy!

Seems to work - barely (no pun intended)

music ensued, with Kevin, Harlan, and Ron strumming guitars,
Brian on percussion, and Maryellen leading the vocals.
My birthday fell during our week at Ocean Isle and Id sworn Id
switch to swimming suits more suited to my advancing age. But
Mary gave me an eeny weeny Brazilian bikini, so I prolonged my
denial for yet another swimming season. We spent much more time
in the ocean than the year before because shark attacks were no
longer dominating the news; however on our last morning walk, we
came across a six foot nurse shark that had died on a fishing line

In another age defying scheme, I continued my pursuit of surfing,

with little progress to show for the repeated pummeling in the Venice
break. So I took Harlan and his buddy Ali to Dana Point for four
straight days of surfing where waves were only a foot high and
crowded with toddlers - I ran over a few. For a bit more of a challenge,
we ventured down to the tumultuous pier sets at Oceanside one afternoon. Frustrated after flailing in the whitewater, I gave my board
to Ali. I was lying in the sun when a commotion at the shore drew
my attention Ali had been attacked by an angry seal! Seal strikes
are certainly not a common occurrence. The locals were mystified
at the teeth marks in both the board and the bleeding boy while the
medics wrapped his wounds. Made for a good story though!
Two weeks after returning from the NC coast, I was on a red eye

Leslie and Harlan visit the Temple of Doom in Belize.

Mary and Heinz visited Venice this year. Despite the standard
struggles of sibling relations, Im thankful to have Mary for a sister
and Heinz as my brother-in- law. We share such similar lifestyles

From the coast we traveled inland to the Cayo District, by way of

the Belize bargain bus system. The first leg of the trip through the

The whole Olive enchilada on the deck of the Stick.

Sufin USA at the Venice Pier.

Dazed and confused at the Desert Trip with Dawn.

ories of his own. That very same weekend he was camping out with
friends at the Desert Daze music festival in Joshua Tree. The first
morning of Desert Trip, I texted MaryEllen back in LA to convince
her to grab last minute tickets since the purchase price had plummeted. I guess the old farts were crapping out left and right. A real
trooper, she jumped online and made the nonrefundable purchaseto Desert Dazeoops!

Coral, Destiny (Nans youngest) and Crouton

his brothers who are united in denying Ron a voice in the handling
of their family holdings. Im sad for the hurt this causes Ron, but its
a reminder for Harlan that being an only child certainly has its upside. The silver lining for me is that Harlan now realizes he has to
attend a state university no pricey private art schools in the cards.
Hes suddenly more serious about keeping his up his grades in this
senior year of school.
Since Rons friend Barbaras son went to different schools than
Harlan, they drifted into separate social circles, and so weve had
less contact with Barbara and her husband Tom Hayden in recent
years. Thus our only claim to celebrity had waned, and this year,
dissipated altogether. Sadly 2016 campaign circus drove Tom to
the grave. He made it to the Democratic convention, despite having
suffered a debilitating stroke a year earlier, but was hospitalized
upon his return and spiraled down quickly from there. The saving
grace is that he checked out a week before the election when it
was all but certain that Hillary would be our next president.

Look, no hands!
Harlan and I joined another little birthday celebration with my
friend Isabelle and her family and friends for a weekend of camping
at Malibu Creek State Park. Her son Finn was turning 13 and Isabelle decided the event would mark his entry to manhood if she
booked a site well removed from parents camp where the youth
could fend for themselves. She enlisted Harlan, the eldest and a
seasoned Boy Scout, to guide them, and he gladly obliged. He had
them all skateboarding, swimming in the creek, and jumping off the
bridges. Cooking? well they tended to migrate to the grown-up
camp come meal time!

I have Insight to thank for my new pal, Coral, a kindred spirit. Hopping in her car to head out on camping adventures, she inspires a
hopeful vision for my own future. I spent a weekend with her at her
home in Tucson for a taste of life in a liberal enclave of Arizona. She
was under the weather herself, but still a capable tour director
she handed over the car keys and pointed the way. I took in Big
Head Todd concert downtown Tucson one night, went dancing another, and hiked among the saguaro cacti in the Sonoran desert
during the daylight hours - when we werent relaxing in her midcentury home. I plan to make it a routine destination in the years to
come. Corals kids live in California, so shell be coming my way as
well in fact shes coming to ring in the New Year.
Actually, in retrospect, I realize my year was filled with music, fun,
and friends. Ron and I get along much better these days, both during the week when he stays at his place, and even when hes in
Venice on the weekends - as long as I go out! Lisa, the actress Ive
known since way back on the Green Team, connects me up with
the party scene of Venices liberal elite. No holiday passes that
the house on Greenlawn doesnt celebrate with a band in front, another out back by the pool and every imaginable character dancing
in between. Hinanos a last hold out for live music only a couple
blocks away is a ready option on any slow night.

The Hairdressers Grandparents by Harlan.

Could this be a Beth Goldston painting?

The following evening, following an afternoon of floating down the
Wilson Creek Gorge and a picture perfect wedding at dusk, we
feasted in the rustic old lodge, danced it off under the stars, and
then retired to gather round the glowing fire on the sandy beach
below. I was sad when everyone dispersed to go their separate

McCartney, The Who, and Pink Floyd (or whats left of them) is not
a show to be missed. I was thoroughly buzzed to be dancing to
memories of an earlier time. Meanwhile, Harlan was creating mem-

William Goldman 1915 - 2016

country store, situated in the heart of a dry county, selling moonshine on the sly. When I learned of their discovery, I was the first in
line! For accommodation, Mary, Heinz, and I stayed with Vicky and
hubby Don in a large log cabin theyd booked in the foothills nearby.
Communal meals in our cabin were fun if not always filling. Mary,
aspiring to quality over quantity, served a cupful of delectable chili
on our first evening, so at the pre-wedding bonfire party later that
night, Heinz and I were thrilled when a young man led us back to
his camp to feast on the remains of a charbroiled smorgasbord!

Lils Abners long lost sister.

Mary on the balcony of my remodelled house.

lodge, out on sunrise stroll, staring quizzically. Later that day, I was
leading my assigned partner through the orchards in a silent
blind exercise of trust. Just as I and this strapping young blindfolded black man were bent over together, reaching under the
low branches of an orange tree, the same staring family sauntered by! Other guests we encountered on that trek of sightless
silence called out to ask if the poor young man needed rescuing!
It may take many more retreats before I learn live lovingly, but I
did make new friends.

to share the chaperoningand the tequila. So much for oversight

and the kids took every advantage of it. They were off to LaFonda
pub down the road ordering rounds (no carding there!) before wed
even finished our cocktail shots back at the house. If not for a
missed turn that plunged us into Tijuana gridlock for a three hour
detour on the return trip, it was a perfect getaway.

Harlan and Ali pose for GQ Magazine.

heading east again to the NC mountains for the wedding of my
nephew Will (well technically first cousin once removed) The chosen site was Brown Mountain Beach Resort along the banks Wilson
Creek that flows downstream from ol Grandfather Mtn. Will
chose well; his bride is smart and lovely, plus his new inlaws sure
know how to throw a party. But leave it to Nancy and Patsy to find

It all starts here in the frog pond.

This is how we do it slower - Leslie version

I still cant resist the promotional offerings every time I check in
for a timeshare stay. I nab a 3-night getaway for enduring a two hour
member update, i.e. a sales pitch, which inevitably concludes with
a hostile agent escorting me to the door. I invited Ron to share in
the reward for my effort this year we loaded up our bikes and
headed to the Wine Valley Lodge in the heart of Sonoma wine country. The days of stumbling from one vineyard to the next, for free
tastes of their offerings are long gone. These days, youre lucky to
get a thimbleful pour in each of 5 glasses for 50 bucks, but biking
leisurely through the rolling green vineyards, albeit mostly sober,
was still good fun.

Yes, we were swimming nearby the day before!

soiree, pitchers of Moscow mules flowed freely and the next morning
I think my head felt worse than that poor goats.
The usual suspects converged for the ritual week at Ocean Isle,
reaching critical mass on a Tues evening at the Stick. A local fish
market had sprung up just over the bridge prompting my idea to
treat everyone to fresh shrimp. I proudly set them out on a bed of
ice with spicy cocktail sauce and went about mixing drinks. At some
point in the evening it dawned on me my offering was not the hit
Id hoped. Apparently I was supposed to cook them! As far as I
know I didnt poison anyone and an otherwise lovely evening of

Leslie and a newly-minted certified diver.

Sasha, Gabriel, Angel, Bob, Harlan and Daniel

Not to be left out, a month later, Ron booked us into a quaint little
lodge in June Lake, a hidden secret opposite Mammoth Mountain.
Once wed braved the steep rickety lift from the parking lot to the
base of the slopes, we were rewarded with open runs. I managed
to feign some semblance of competence in my craigslist boots on
my craigslist board. Ron was getting the hang of it too, but Harlan
left us in his spray. No hot tub awaited us after a full
day in the snow, but we had a cozy fireplace in our cabin and the
Tiger Bar across the way became our mainstay.

ways on the final day, but I had my jar of moonshine for a souvenir.
At this point in my life, funerals are becoming more frequent than
weddings. Last January, Harlan, Ron, and I flew to Vancouver for
the funeral of Rons father, who had died at the age of 101. Ron
composed both a respectful obituary and later an interesting account of Dr. Goldmans impressive medical career that was published in Canadas national paper, but neither helped thaw relations

Youre never too old department of leaping.

Relaxing overlooking beautiful downtown June Lake

Just your average post menopausal mid-life crisis.

ous distress, butting her head against a tree in the heat. My new vet
tech tenant proved helpless, so the Olive ranch hands, Brian, Harlan,
Ava, Vicky and Don helped me catch her and administer Leroys prescribed remedy - aspirin. The excitement over, we resumed our pond

Harlans first commissioned painting was of Tom, and since then

he has produced four more, building up his bank account for college. From a small grainy polaroid taken in the 70s, he produced
a likeness of my hairdressers grandparents. In bold strokes, he
painted my friend Ericas kitten caught in the refrigerator (door
open!) and a portrait of a lab requested by her friend. Together with
his buddy Ali, they painted a mural on the entryway of a neighbors
elegantly modern home. The last job provided a little reality check
on his chosen career - for all the time invested in that mural, he netted about $1 per hour, but hes still not inclined to spend an hour
cleaning my Airbnb guest house for $25!
Bobs son, Daniel, celebrated his 18th birthday with Harlan and
a host of other kids across the border in Baja, where the dollar goes
a little farther. Bob invited Ron, me and another friend, Fran, down

Snow in the desert!

Im still searching for a time slot to slip to Chicago to visit my
friend Snow though in the meantime, shes been back to LA a few
times thanks to her new grandbaby. Adorable as he is, Snow isnt
signing on to be a free visiting nanny, the upside being that
MaryEllen and I could coax her away to the desert for a weekend of
poolside champagne.
Snow was the one who talked me into the Insight seminars last
year and this year I signed up for yet another dose. A five day retreat
in the tranquil hills of Montecito was peaceful, but not peaceful
enough to still my mind in meditation. Early one morning I found a
tranquil spot off the trail to sit cross-legged, close my eyes and
murmur chants, but I immediately peaked at the crackle of footsteps to find a family of guests from the collocated $350/ night

The Hightoppers featuring Harlan GB!

Speaking of live music, lots of friends showed up for Harlans
debut appearance with Rons band on the Sunset Strip. Maryellen
keeps me company for midweek hot tub happy hours in, or barhopping out. Occasionally, she breaks away from Dougie on the
weekends, like when a group of us went to see The Cure in concert
at the Hollywood Bowl. I had to pass on the Olive fest this year because it overlapped with a three day concert under the desert sky.
Four of us drained our savings for tickets to Desert Trip, the
mother of all nostalgia concerts, better known as Oldchella, or
Rockers with Walkers!
Make fun if you will, but Bob Dylan, The Stone, Neil Young, Paul

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk...

One might wonder how I have time for these endeavors. The secret is that I followed through on my Insightful resolution to cut
my workweek to 28 hours. My boss, John Bohlson, one upped me
and flat out retired. Hed been my boss for more than twenty years!
John had always given me free reign at work and I could count on
him to smooth the feathers I invariably ruffled, so I was dreading
having to answer to someone new. Fortunately my workweek reduction coincided well with the transition. Nearly a year has passed
and the still acting director has yet to figure out my schedule!
Now that I have more time for Harlan, hes never home. His life
revolves around skateboarding. Just like Myrtle sneaking out the
side gate anytime its left ajar every time I turn around, Harlans
slipped out to the Venice skate park. If only he could get credit for
hours spent mastering new board tricks, hed have an impressive
resume for college.
He just completed the arduous application process and when
he got to the blanks for entering awards and honors, I detected the
slightest pause of regret over past priorities. However, the application does allow submission of self-descriptive essays. I thought Id
help him out by offering the following:
My mother was the center of her basketball team, #1 on her
tennis team, and the state long jump champion in her senior year
of high school, graduating with academic honors. My father dismissed organized sports and structured academics in high school,
but excelled in whatever he found interesting, mostly music and
art. Both shaped who I am. While I dont have baseball trophies lining my shelves, I ran cross-country and I know how to play a little
baseball, basketball, and am pretty good on the tennis court. Im
sure Ive hiked more miles than the most decorated school athlete
and if trophies were awarded for skateboarding, Id no doubt boast
a few. Academically, my 3.8 GPA doesnt put me at the top of my
class, but its nonetheless impressive considering I divide my
schoolwork time between Boy Scouts, skating, drawing, painting,
playing lead guitar in my band, writing songs, and reading my National Geographics (and Thrashers) cover to cover.
But Harlan refused my offer he wouldnt even let me edit his own
hand. So now we sit back and wait. The verdict, due this coming spring,
will surely determine how the next chapter of our California life unfolds.