Documenti di Didattica
Documenti di Professioni
Documenti di Cultura
25. You mean you don't know I've a dog?! Didn't you look in the mirror?!?! *give a
shocked look*
26. Hey, what a coincidence! You've the same name as my dog!
27. Look at someone's eyes, give a surprised look and exclaim, "The eyes... they look
like Aunt Camille's (for males) / Uncle Edgar's (for females)!"
28. Let's say Dr. John is a victim of manslaughter. Then, someone comes up to you and
exclaims surprisingly, "What?! Dr. John got murdered?!?"
No, suicide.
29. Jack is so funny that he's making everyone laugh AT him, not with him.
30. Other than being disgusting, irritating, stupid, smelly, [name all the bad stuff you can
think of], etc., etc... you're actually quite okay.
31. When someone asks, "Hey, should I submit this joke to the magazine?"...
Well, you never know. Some low-class species with the same viewpoint as the author
might find it funny.
32. When someone asks, "Do you think this dress is nice?"...
To say that it's nice would be a terrible lie.
33. You've so many pimples that you remind me of the craters of the moon.
34. You know why guys / girls don't like you? Look at yourself first.
35. When someone asks, "Hey, are you gonna mow the lawn now?" when you obviously
are going to mow the lawn...
* No *expressed sarcastically*, I'm gonna do it next year.
* Then?! Wait for the Winter Olympics??
* No, I'm going to take a shower. Duh!
36. When someone is doing something (e.g. typing)...
Are you sure you can type?
Hey, doesn't he / she has a name? Even animals have names nowadays!
46. When someone insults you sarcastically and asks you, "Was that remark sarcastic
or what?!"...
No, it's a downright lame insult.
47. When your younger sibling says "My Maths is getting better" or something similar...
Looks like the skills I've passed down to you have paid off after all.
48. Gee, the dress she's wearing sure looks nice... but NOT on her.
49. When someone asks, "Why can't I do this?"...
* Maybe it's inheritance.
* Maybe it's in your genes.
50. When someone says, "Hey, let me tell you a joke"...
HA HA HA HA HA! VERY FUNNY!
Right now, you might be asking, "Where in the world are numbers 51-101?" Well, sorry,
but I can't think of any more sarcastic remarks, mean insults and irritating phrases.
If you have any you would like to add, please mail me. Don't worry, credit will be given
to all contributors! I'll continue to update this page often.