Esmeralda Huerta

November 17, 2016 1

Part C
Application Activity 8.4 Marking Errors Electronically
In this activity, 8.4 marking errors electronically, I used the Student paper and Sample
Student essay for error correction practice to edit electronically on the Microsoft Word program.
I used the Error categories chart from Application activity 8.2 to guide me in marking errors
throughout the two essays. Using Microsoft Word is easy to use for teacher and student learning.
Basically, it is effective when using its features more deeply, and can enhance their editing
process. I am convinced that it is the worth the students and my time to learn to use this writing
tool more effectively.
The easiest for me was the first Student paper because I used two different color
highlights throughout the essay. Even though I marked errors by following the error categories
chart and using the italic, bold, strikethrough and the underlined text, I was able to use the
Comment feature in Word. I was able to elaborate in a concise way on the margins. I think it will
effectively help a student to follow the suggestions, feedbacks, and correct their errors.
According to Ferris & Hedgcock, (2015) found, The comments function in Microsoft Word,
for example, allows teachers to mark specific portions of text and write comments right next to
them in the margins-comments that can be legible and in complete sentences, unlike handwritten
marginal notes that may be cryptic and/or incomprehensible because of space (p. 290). I agree,
when I was editing a printout essay it was difficult to elaborate on my comments and suggestions
on the margins. Theres not enough space, however Microsoft Word gives an opportunity to
express and elaborate on my comments and highlight the areas on the essay where errors are
located.
On the second essay, it took me awhile to go through the essay to locate errors because I
was using the symbol (^) circumflex accent to show that I added text in red font color. I do think

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this will be beneficial for students when I give their papers back to them after all their errors are
marked with different types of fonts, features text, and color highlights. This will definitely help
the student look at the specific error categories and they should see where they have the most
errors and they can learn from their errors so that way they wont make that mistake again in the
future. I didnt add a comments on the margins because I want to point out where all errors are
located and I rewrote the first sentence because it has a sentence structure error. If I used the
comment feature I would highlight the sentence and give a suggestions to make the attention
getter better. From seeing the results, Id rather leave a comment, suggestion and feedback on the
margins because I can elaborate on the text, letting the student know what needs to be changed to
make their paper better and enhance their learning by looking at their mistakes.
The set of corrections I think would be more beneficial to the students writing is the
comment features because I can highlight a sentence or a word and comment on the margins to
elaborate on suggestions. Also, the strikethrough text seems to be helpful for students to omit
text or a sentence from their essay that can help them to see the errors. I think that color coding,
text features and using different fonts can be helpful to point out the error patterns on the student
essay. According to Ferris & Hedgcock, (2015) found. Brown (2012) described using color
coding to mark patterns of error (e.g., blue for verbs, yellow for nouns plurals) and reported that
his own students found the colors more noticeable and memorable than an error code might have
been (p. 291). I agree with this quote, that color coding helps the student visually by looking at
the different types of error aspects in the essay. Students can see which aspects of errors they
should work on the most for their next paper.
Overall, I am convinced that doing error correction on Microsoft Word is efficient and
easy to use for the teacher and student. While I was editing on the hard copies of both essays, it

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was difficult to write and elaborate on suggestions and feedback on the margins. When editing
error corrections throughout the papers, it was not easy to write so tiny above the text in the
essay however on the Word program, I was able to put the (^) circumflex accent symbol
throughout the paper to add any text needed. Working on the program is very effective and easy
to use. I was able to use spelling and grammar check, inset comments on margins, use color
highlighter, text, font, and style of the text to be able to identify the error categories and other
features. It is sufficiently easy to use this method. When I have a classroom, I will use the
selective error correction, not to mark every error on the student paper but to give them an
opportunity to do self-editing on Microsoft Word and Ill receive their suggestions, feedback,
and directional comments to help guide the students. Ill just do error correction on the specific
errors patterns that repeatedly occurs most of the time on the L2 writings. According to Ferris &
Hedgcock, (2015), the use of electronic feedback captures the teachers suggestions in
permanent form so that they can be reviewed by the student (and the instructor if desired), unlike
handwritten comments on a hard copy that can be lost (p. 290). Its a great way to have the
students do self-editing, so they can use the different types of editing features in Microsoft Word.

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Student Paper Edited

Wang Peng
ENG 109
Inquiry Two Final Draft
October 2, 2013
The truth of national parks
With the increasing demand of entertainment and the pursuing of the natural environment,
national parks play the a significant role in peoples life lives. The American people have gradually
focused on the improvement of park and recreational facilities. An article wrote written
by Richard L. Worsnop discussed whether the parks should limit visitors or meet the demand to
provide support. And Thomas J. Mills made comments on Richards Worsnops opinion and
supported his idea that mainly talked about how the entry fees of national parks should be enhance
enhanced in order to improve the basic facilities of parks. From that article, the author mainly
talked discussed about park concessionaires and other private interests that should pay higher fees
to let the government collect more money to support the development of recreation facilities. Based
on that topic, some people came up with an issue of whether national parks that whether public
visitors should pay charge more fees of when entering and using resources, and also whether its
fair or not to impose more money from the publics public. This article aimed at persuading the
publics to accept the higher fees of at the national parks and to let people know the current
problems of national parks and the way the government wanted wants to take steps to solve
problems and enhance the quality of national parks. Although, Mills use of an emotional attractor
contributes less to his viewpoint, his arguments overall are effective because the organization and
logic are credible enough to persuade. and Can tightly connect with the purpose determination that
government and congress persuade visitors pay more entry fees. ^
(^)

Firstly, there is the strong relationship between the logical reasons and the purpose of
persuading. The argument made by Thomas J. Mills is clear for us to figure out the position he
held ^. People who read the article can easily extract the information about what Mills wants to
argue and persuade. One sentence he used in the text: This commitment is a reasoned response to
a difficult situation (Mills, 1993). Before that sentence, it claims the content of commitment and
after stating this sentence, it help us to figure out the logic and organization that what he wants to
mention later. As expected, the clearly organization gives two reasons to explain why congress
and the president made such that decisions later. Two reasons directly match with the purpose of
that article. The first reason mentioned: , On the one hand, demand for recreational opportunities
is high and expected to grow substantially over the foreseeable future (Mills, 1993). From this
reasoning, it reveals that because of the rapid growth of entertainment choices, the government
should collect more money to rebuild equipment in order to meet the demand. It matches with the
purpose of the article and provides reasonable reason to persuade the publics public to pay more
fees. The other reason states: On the other, available resources are inadequate to maintain even
the current recreation infrastructure as is evidenced by the $449 million unfunded backlog of
essential maintenance and repair of recreation facilities (Mills, 1993). Because Since inadequate
resources cant maintain the current infrastructure, and the park service should also support park
repair, officials prefer to get more money to support the normal circulation of park service. Based
on two reasons provided by Mills, it aims at persuading the publics public to pay more fees to
national parks. From the logic of that part, not only it tightly combines with their goals, but also
the text provides a well-organized and reasonable content. Another example said: Congress has
recognized this dilemma and has responded by raising appropriations for the Forest Service

Commented [EH1]: This is a great attention getter in your

introductory paragraph. It makes the reader want to read
on about how national parks have a significant role in
peoples lives because it gives them entertainment.

Commented [EH2]: You need a thesis statement because

it states the whole main idea of your content and the
argument needs to be clear and concise that supports the
positions of the paper. You need to state your opinion and
argument into your one sentence thesis. Do you agree or
disagree with this article?
Commented [EH3]: You need to add a paragraph,
summarizing the article, your opinions, your thoughts, and
do you agree or disagree with the inputs that it is stating in
the article, before emphasizing the problem of national park
fees from the article.
Commented [EH4]: Can you elaborate on the strong
relationship and the purpose of persuading.
Commented [EH5]: You should elaborate on what Mills
argument found? What is the found position that he held?
Commented [EH6]: I suggest you should summarize the
sentence that you read from the article or paraphrase the
sentence from the article.
Commented [EH7]: Need to add a page number where
you got this quote from for example (Mills, 1993, p. 18)

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recreation program significantly in recent years (Mills, 1993). For that evidence we can find in
the text presented, the reason the government is eager to collect money. Because the promise to
the Forest Service recreation program of providing more fiscal subsidy, the congress made the
commitment so that it would let citizens knew know the current issue happened with national parks
and then congress enhanced the entry fees.
After analyzing the logic of Mills statement, its worthy to dissect how the author use uses
methods to persuade and convince people who often go to national parks to share the public
facilities. The ethos and audience work together to emphasize on how the author make credible of
the difficulties faced by government. One example shows, In his report, A Vision of Change for
America, the president made clear his commitment to increasing revenues from users of
recreation facilities on federal lands. We cannot predict exact fee levels, but new entrance and user
fees will not exceed the $3 cap contained in the president's report (Mills, 1993). For the beginning
of that paper, Mills quotes, the President, Presidents commitment, revenues and federal lands to
attract readers attention and let the publics public believe the credibility for the commitment
(Mills, 1993). Because Since the choice of words is professional and formal, which are used in the
government commitment or the declaration, made by congress, readers can easily believe the
credibility of that event. Also, examples and experiences can greatly contribute to the credibility
of an article, one part by Mills said: states, For example, in 1991, volunteers contributed work
valued at $23 million in support of the recreation program. Additionally, we operate certain
facilities under ... permits [that] bring in private capital to maintain recreation facilities in national
forests (Mills, 1993). For example the author gave for the readers, it can let readers understand
more an understanding about this commitment that the government and congress have tried made
many efforts to support the recreation program and allow personal facilities in national parks. By
revealing and analyzing the government actions, the publics public may have intuitive feelings
about the facticity by the government. The example can support the authors idea effectively.
The weakest relationship for Mills statement would be the position he held and the emotion he
wanted to convey. Mills held the moderate attitude and represents a formal and professional
statement to readers. Its difficult for us to explore the relationship between the position for
statement and emotion for people who usually entertain usually in parks. The reason I couldnt
find more evidence was that the author talked less about the emotional aspect than the other
aspects. ^
Overall, the author article by Worsnop made a strong and believable supportive argument
towards the original article. Mills used many methods to achieve his goals that were to persuade
visitors to pay more entry fees and inform the publics of the obstacles the government faced. The
government and congress should come up with more ways to develop public recreations and
improve the overall environment of national parks. For the article, the author should can pay more
attention to his audience because the statement for audiences can directly exert effects on the final
goals he wants to achieve.

References
Worsnop, R. L. (1993, May 28). National parks. CQ Researcher, 3, 457-480. Retrieved from

Commented [EH8]: I want to read about your perspective

on this argument. What do you think about the author of
this article? What do you think of Mills statements about
National Parks? Do you agree or disagree? Do you have a
positive or negative perspective on this argument?

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http://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/
End Note:
When you edit the essay I did error corrections and along with comment suggestions on the side
margins. I suggest you read the comments as you read the paper and make changes as you go. I
can see there were many errors regarding article structure throughout your essay and absent noun
ending errors too. Make sure to check for word choices, the right tense such as past or present
tense. Here are the directional of what I did during the editing process that is error categories
concisely. The error categories contains the verb errors in bold text; noun ending errors in Italic
text such as (role in peoples life lives); article errors are underlined text such as (the
president made); wrong word are in red text such as (mainly talked discussed); sentence structure
are in grey highlight color; and other are in yellow highlight color. The blue highlighted color are
the added words, punctuation, so on throughout the paper. I used a strikethrough font to omit a
few texts and sentences that shouldnt be there. Overall, you have great content and
organizational structure on the truth about the National Parks. I suggest you write your thoughts,
inputs, and experiences regarding the National Parks and argue towards the topic. Make sure you
check that quotations are correct from the article and also you need to paraphrase a quotation in
your own words. I used the strikethrough font to omit a sentence because it did not made sense.
Appendix 8 Edited
Sample Student Essay for Error Correction Practice
Today, in people's ^often lie in their daily life ^ lives for various reasons; they often lie to protect
themselves, to fit into a specific group, to make others feel better, or to help others^ to fit with specific
group
. in a different way. Yet, no matter what ^ the reason ^is that causes people ^to tell untruthful
information, their purpose (id) ^is to more ^focus on their ^ own life living. However, (no) ^not all lies
are harmful, they can be helpful in some appropriate situations ^and it all depends ^ an how
people view them.
It is true that sometimes lies are harmful. They can cause broken relationships, such as ^
between friendship, husband and wife, or parents and children. According to Goodrich ^stated, "if
one promise to do lunch when this person knew that they will never get together." If later, on the
other person discovered the teller's purpose^truth that, their relationship would not go along well.
Also, Goodrich^also states that many parents tell their children that Santa Claus will come on
Christmas Eve; In this situation, although parents say that is^ this to make the Christmas more
enjoyable and ^to make their children happier, as the children grow up and find out the true^truth
on their own, they may not ^be very happy their parents' attitude. Although the result may not ^be
terrible till broken their parents and childrens relationship it may bring^have some negative ^
thought towards their
parent's value in children's mind. ^and In this situation, lying is harmful to both
parents and children.
However, sometimes, telling a lie can be helpful if people deal with it appropriately. I
remember two friends of mine Jack and John were best friends. They grew up together and
went to school together. Yet, during their college year, Jack was Majoring in accounting
because he like business very much. On the other hand, John was not interested in business
much. He was having difficult time to chose^choose his major. At the same time, he still wants to

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be with Jack all of the time. Once, when Jack asked John to major in business so they can still
go to classes together. John responded by saying "OK", even though he did not like business
classes^and John found out he enjoy being ^a manager after his college. John's lies did not hurt
him and Jack^Jack or himself. In fact, it helps him to choose his major ^since while he did not know
what to do. On the other hand, Jack also got some help from John while their^they were studying;
Therefore lies can be beneficial sometimes, As a result, not all lies are wrong,^thus Some are
harmful while others are helpful.

End note comment:

There were many sentence structure errors and word choice errors throughout the essay. Heres
what I did during the editing process; verb error is presented in grey highlight color over text;
noun ending errors are underlined text; article errors are in italic text; wrong word are in Arial
black font with a bold text; sentence structure are in green highlight color with the strikethrough
text; spelling are in red parenthesis symbol around the text; lastly, others are in blue highlight
color over the text. The one sentence that is highlighted in yellow color, you should make sure
the quote is correctly taken from the article. You did a great job writing examples to support your
essay on the truth about lying. Mostly, you argued the negative side of lying and mentioned
about the positive side of lying. I suggest that you elaborate more on the positive side too. I want
to see both side of the issues.