Afife Vera Kirmizi

Proffesor Christen Enos

ENGW 1111
21st September 2016
Peer Review for Yi Rong Liao

Dear Yi Rong,
Your analysis of the article Millennials Arent Spending Money like Their Parents
Did by Matt Turner, demonstrated much strength regarding your writing style. Your
essay is well organized and its length is in accordance with the article that you have
analyzed.
I liked the beginning of your essay in particular. The fact that you defined the terms
millennial and non-millennial at the very beginning of your analysis helped me while
reading. I specifically appreciate that you used logos and ethos to analyze the
article.
As you have stated in your analysis, the article that you have analyzed was written for
the business minded people. In the first paragraph you give the definition of
millennial with a reference to JPMorgan. Although we get a sense of the word, what
actually J.P. Morgan refers to, remains as a mystery until the end of the third
paragraph. It would be nice if you were to explain it earlier, as it caused some
confusion in my head.
Once the word is meaningful to the reader, you build a connection between JP Morgan
and the writer, in which you suggest, that using JP Morgan as a reference increases
Turners credibility. This is a very well spotted point.
On the fourth paragraph you build an effective parallelism between the photograph,
A millennial at the Burning Man festival by Ely Weisman, and the article. The
analysis of the photograph and the description below was very well done. You
described the photograph of the girl very eloquently only with few sentences.
You did compare milllenials to non-millenials, but you did not mention nonmillennials in the paragraph. It would be better, if you elaborated on the nonmillenials as well.
As a last improvement, I would suggest that you change the title of your analysis to a
more outstanding and interesting caption, which would attract the reader more.
You also have analyzed the charts and their relevancy to the topic. Combining data
from the charts with the analysis of the photograph was impressive. You used actual
data, while comparing the expenditures of millennials and non-millennials and
remarked that the author uses logos to make his arguments stronger. You analyzed the
chart accurately and effectively.

Overall, I believe your essay is successful, well structured and organized. Your
conclusion paragraph is rather short but strong as the beginning was.
Although I am not a person who is very interested in business, I enjoyed reading your
analysis of the article. I also found the material that you analyzed very interesting.
You stated that the articles main purpose was to educate business minded
individuals and I can say that reading your analysis also gives insight to the topic as
well.
Well done!
Your friend,
Afife Vera Kirmizi.