Divine Toko

Prof. Huizar
UWRT1102
19 September 2016
Hair Braiding: New Fad or Stolen Trend?
When I was a child, I saw a picture of my grandmother doing it to my mom, my
mother did it to me until she taught me how to do it myself, as a teenager, I found
myself at a job getting paid to do it; It wasnt up until this point that I had never really put
much thought into hairbraiding. It had always seemed like one of those common skills
we learned in life; like learning to ride a bike, or catch a ball. When I began working at a
hair salon, things were beginning to shift my perceptions and experiences. I couldnt
help but firstly notice that everyone working there, like myself, was African. Between the
employer, employees, and customers seen in that salon, we came across a white
woman once a day who delivered our mail; beyond that it seemed the shop centered
around women of color. Where some wanted lengths to the floor, others wanted neat
little braids that accentuated their features. For years, my coworkers and I would work
as long as 12 hours, twisting and tightening the strands to crown these women with
delicate and intricate braids. As we move along to 2016, we now find Kim Kardashian
sporting the hot

new look on US weekly magazine. How is it that something that has

long been a part of a particular culture be new and fashionable? Were they not new
and fashionable when Alicia Keys maintained that look for a number of years? Or is it

new fashion because it now a part of a different culture adopted the practice and
branding it as new?
Black culture is essentially the common practices and values shared by all
peoples of African descent. Despite the fact that slavery prevented Africans in America
to practice their cultural traditions, there are still many practices, values and beliefs that
survived and have incorporated elements of European American culture. As such, one
could then argue that black culture itself appropriated European culture. However, black
culture could not have appropriated white American culture because they did not have a
choice; they were obligated to adopt their oppressors values and practices. It was only
over time that these distinct African American traditions continued to grow and flourish
into what is acknowledged today as black culture (Parisi). Recognized through music,
food and art; African American culture has become a significant part of mainstream
American culture and yet, simultaneously remains a distinct culture apart from it.

Copy the Review Sheet to your persuasive essay.

Peer Review Sheet - Persuasive Essay

Role of the Reader: Your job is not to take over the work of the writer or just fix errors. As
reader, you offer the best assistance to writer by allowing them to see what you see and asking
probing questions that can help solve conceptual and compositional issues.

Explain and Question: If you find a hotspot a sentence, passage, or ideahighlight that area
and explain what you think it is saying, and/or write out your question(s) regarding that section to
help prompt the writers work there.
Spotcheck Problems: For recurring errors or problems, fix/tag them 1 or 2 times not every time
Address and respond to the essay along 2 levels:
The specific, narrow, detailed Sentence level issues, introductory tasks, thesis,
paragraph development, etc.
The comprehensive, holistic, global Major concepts, effectiveness of analysis,
organizational structures, etc.
Read through the essay once before marking or commenting. Begin your review on a second
read through. Respond to the questions below. Do not reply yes/no.

Peer Review Questions

Things to Tag, Label, Highlight, Question, Explain and Comment
1. Introduction
a. Label the five rhetorical tasks
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.

Issue, topic, or problem identified

Outlined/described that problem for the audience
Contextualized problem by entering the conversation of prominent voices
Thesis (claim + reasoning)
Preview the kinds of evidence or analysis that will be employed in addressing
that problem

b. Intro CommentaryBased on the opening paragraph, and in your own words,

explain what you believe is the persuasive message of the essay. To what extent
does the draft fulfill this promise? Does the bulk of the essay develop the
reasoning offered in the claim? Offer one or two suggestions about the (strategic,
conceptual or stylistic) introductory setup.
2. Essay Development

a. Paragraphing. Locate the paragraphs main ideas, then label/number them in order
of interest to you. Review paragraphing development along Anatomy of a
paragraph lines. Consider the move from topic sentence claim to concluding
insight (top to bottom), then offer strategic suggestions:
b. Paragraphing commentaryWhich paragraph idea could be explained or
supported more fully? Which main or supporting points do you have questions or
concerns about? Perhaps it is a gap in the logic or an interesting but not fully
explored claim. Indicate where and why you think the section is succeeding and
where it is underperforming.
c. Citations. If the research is incorrectly cited (In-text or Works cited) or not well
set-up, highlight them and bring to writers attention. Owl Purdue Citations
Available here.
d. Citation & sources commentaryLook over essays work with scholarly
research studies and reputable non-scholarly sources. Describe for the writer, your
understanding of their source use strategy and anywhere you had questions about
sources.
e. The rhetorical stance & They Say. Which words or phrases in the draft indicate
the values the writer holds with regard to this topic? How does the writer identify
and distinguish his/her position in relation to other prominent voices? To what
extent does the writer engage with outside voices, They Says, opposing
viewpoints, naysayers?
3. Sentence level attention. Choose two sentences you consider the most interesting or best
writtenstylistically effective, entertaining, or otherwise memorable. Then choose three
sentences you see as weakconfusing, awkward, or uninspired.
4. Holistic Overview.
a. Rhetorical Awareness:
i.
In your own words describe the essay audience. Note anywhere you see
the essay appealing to the knowledge or concerns of this audience
ii.
In your own words describe what you understand to the essays purpose
iii.
In your own words describe what you understand to be the exigency
b. Rhetorical Awareness Commentary. What questions or suggestions remain for
you in thinking about this essays attention to the rhetorical situation (audience,
purpose, exigency, appeals, etc)?

5. Explain what you thought worked best in this essay. What do you admire and find
compelling? Be specific.
6. Offer one or two significant suggestions: If possible, offer one suggestion based on a set
of specific details within the essay and the other suggestion based on
global/overarching considerations.
7. Offer remaining questions or advice do you have for the writer?

Peer Review Sheet - Persuasive Essay

Role of the Reader: Your job is not to take over the work of the writer or just fix errors. As
reader, you offer the best assistance to writer by allowing them to see what you see and asking
probing questions that can help solve conceptual and compositional issues.

Explain and Question: If you find a hotspot a sentence, passage, or ideahighlight that area
and explain what you think it is saying, and/or write out your question(s) regarding that section to
help prompt the writers work there.
Spotcheck Problems: For recurring errors or problems, fix/tag them 1 or 2 times not every time
Address and respond to the essay along 2 levels:
The specific, narrow, detailed Sentence level issues, introductory tasks, thesis,
paragraph development, etc.
The comprehensive, holistic, global Major concepts, effectiveness of analysis,
organizational structures, etc.
Read through the essay once before marking or commenting. Begin your review on a second
read through. Respond to the questions below. Do not reply yes/no.

Peer Review Questions

Things to Tag, Label, Highlight, Question, Explain and Comment
8. Introduction
a. Label the five rhetorical tasks
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.

Issue, topic, or problem identified

Outlined/described that problem for the audience
Contextualized problem by entering the conversation of prominent voices
Thesis (claim + reasoning)
Preview the kinds of evidence or analysis that will be employed in addressing
that problem

b. Intro CommentaryBased on the opening paragraph, and in your own words,

explain what you believe is the persuasive message of the essay. To what extent
does the draft fulfill this promise? Does the bulk of the essay develop the
reasoning offered in the claim? Offer one or two suggestions about the (strategic,
conceptual or stylistic) introductory setup.
9. Essay Development
a. Paragraphing. Locate the paragraphs main ideas, then label/number them in order
of interest to you. Review paragraphing development along Anatomy of a
paragraph lines. Consider the move from topic sentence claim to concluding
insight (top to bottom), then offer strategic suggestions:
b. Paragraphing commentaryWhich paragraph idea could be explained or
supported more fully? Which main or supporting points do you have questions or
concerns about? Perhaps it is a gap in the logic or an interesting but not fully
explored claim. Indicate where and why you think the section is succeeding and
where it is underperforming.
c. Citations. If the research is incorrectly cited (In-text or Works cited) or not well
set-up, highlight them and bring to writers attention. Owl Purdue Citations
Available here.
d. Citation & sources commentaryLook over essays work with scholarly
research studies and reputable non-scholarly sources. Describe for the writer, your
understanding of their source use strategy and anywhere you had questions about
sources.
e. The rhetorical stance & They Say. Which words or phrases in the draft indicate
the values the writer holds with regard to this topic? How does the writer identify
and distinguish his/her position in relation to other prominent voices? To what
extent does the writer engage with outside voices, They Says, opposing
viewpoints, naysayers?
10. Sentence level attention. Choose two sentences you consider the most interesting or best
writtenstylistically effective, entertaining, or otherwise memorable. Then choose three
sentences you see as weakconfusing, awkward, or uninspired.
11. Holistic Overview.
a. Rhetorical Awareness:

i.

In your own words describe the essay audience. Note anywhere you see
the essay appealing to the knowledge or concerns of this audience
ii.
In your own words describe what you understand to the essays purpose
iii.
In your own words describe what you understand to be the exigency
b. Rhetorical Awareness Commentary. What questions or suggestions remain for
you in thinking about this essays attention to the rhetorical situation (audience,
purpose, exigency, appeals, etc)?
12. Explain what you thought worked best in this essay. What do you admire and find
compelling? Be specific.
13. Offer one or two significant suggestions: If possible, offer one suggestion based on a set
of specific details within the essay and the other suggestion based on
global/overarching considerations.
14. Offer remaining questions or advice do you have for the writer?