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Alexis Brenzil
Li-Anne Delavega
English100

The Social Struggles Among Adolescents

Self-expression among adolescents, specifically teenagers, and the formation of the selfconcept has changed drastically over the ages. However, human nature dictates that individuals
have to conform to what the majority does in order to feel useful and needed. Throughout Mary
Chois article Like. Flirt. Ghost., many people view conformity as compliance with standards,
rules, or laws (Choi), or following a basic set of rules. However, social conformity can appear
in multiple ways. Teenagers will often look at conformity as a behavior in accordance with
socially accepted conventions or standards (Choi). Manipulation of teenagers need for
conformity is most commonly achieved through the use of social media platforms such as
Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter. In the article Like. Flirt. Ghost: A Journey into the Social
Media Lives of Teenagers, Mary H.K. Choi uses easy-to-understand diction and scholarly
references to explain how social media feeds the human need to conform, particularly among
teenagers.
Throughout the account of interviewing five kids in America, Choi explains that
conformity is the one constant that grounds the ever-changing teenager. Choi identifies the false
set of rules that teenagers believe they must follow while using social media applications, such
as, According to to Lara and Sofia, when your friend posts a selfie on Instagram, theres a tacit
social obligation to like it, and depending on how close you are, you may need to comment. The
safest option, especially on a friends selfie, is the emoji with the heart eyes. Or a simple so

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cute or so pretty (Choi). While girls have certain rules about what to comment, when to
comment, or to comment at all, boys also have their own set of rules. There can be No hearts,
no kiss faces, no wink faces, just the gas tank, explains Ahmed, one of the interviewed
teenagers. The gas tank emoji means gangit indicates fealty, like #squad. Gang-gang, its
like your group. Not like a gang. Its not that serious (Choi).
By following these rules it prevents people from saying exactly what they would want
to say and makes them feel obligated to mimic the response of others in order to avoid becoming
a social outcast. Another undeclared rule, is to avoid being awkward. Awkward being a
ubiquitous teen word to denote socially unsanctioned behavior (Choi). An example of
promoting such awkwardness is what the two girls tend to refer to as The Deep Like. This is
typically when you lurk on someones account, going way back into the archives, and
accidentally double-tap on an old picture, creating a sense of unnecessary panic of what would
everyone else do? Since youve liked the photo it automatically sends the person a notification.
So, when someone has Deep-Liked a photo its like telling the person that you were just
casually stalking their photos. But then if you unlike it then it tells them you didnt want them to
know. By creating this sense of panic, Choi acknowledges that the teen will have to live with the
fact of knowing that society has deemed their action wrong, and the problem cannot be fixed.
However, social media is not always a bad thing. For example, Xia Wang concluded that data
from 292 participants who engaged in peer communications about products through social media
confirm that there is a positive influences on peer communication outcomes (Wang).
Another problem that cant be easily fixed is how social media can change the persons
overall persona. While not only examining the teens physical appearance, Choi also depicts how
the teens changed as they transitioned from middle-school to high school. For some, they were

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often viewed as loners or unpopular, as Mira explained that she didnt really start having friends
until high school (Choi). However, as she began to access the new trends on Instagram she soon
became the type of confident kid who would wear a thrifted black cat suit to school, and her last
boyfriend was a senior even going as far as dying her hair a silvery lavender. But it can just
as easily affect your social media life, as it can your life here in reality. Take for example the
twins, Lara and Sofia. Both Lara and Sofia are shy, almost painfully so, with people they dont
know. They move around in the world with heads close, chatting conspiratorially (Choi).
Nonetheless, deceiving the rest of the world when they made their appearance on Instagram.
Each 16-year-old has more than 1,000 followers, especially surprising when you realize that
their feeds are locked, and the girls say they at least vaguely know every single person that
follows them. Perhaps more impressive, though: Each post on their feeds has at least 300 likes
meaning that roughly a third of their followers have signaled their approval (Choi).
Society encourages people to present the persona they want seen by others on social
media, rather than allowing them to be that person in real life. Being who they are also comes
into play when, social media begins to create a social hierarchy. Who is the most popular? Where
do you fit amongst the several distinguished groups? In most cases the tier of popularity will
be based on likes on your Facebook profile picture, likes you got on Instagram, Mira says.
and the people you posed with (Choi). In which if you dont reach a certain amount of likes
that can really show how popular you really are. In this specific instance; Ahmed stated that If
Im not touching 40 likes, Im probably going to delete it (Choi). He then explained how there
is a proclaimed system for getting the desired amount of likes, the window to reach 40 is
about two hours. Sometimes hell delete a post, save it, and put it up at a better time. Dead zone

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for likes is 9 am to 3 pm (before school works, but rushed mornings make for dicey like counts)
(Choi).
Chois article clearly demonstrates how the consumption of social media can force teens
to either conform in a positive and or negative way. Teens become obsessed with rules that are
created by their peers on a day to day basis, however social conformity is also beneficial to the
self-concept of every teenager.

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Works Cited
Choi, Mary H.K. "Like. Flirt. Ghost: A Journey into the Social Media Lives of Teens."
Wired.com. Conde Nast Digital, n.d. Web. 05 Oct. 2016.
Wang, Xia, Chunling Yu, and Yujie Wei. "Social Media Peer Communication and Impacts
on Purchase Intentions: A Consumer Socialization Framework." Social Media Peer
Communication and Impacts on Purchase Intentions: A Consumer Socialization Framework.
N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Oct. 2016.