In A Forest, A deer

Author
Ambai is the pseudonym of Dr. C.S. Lakshmi, a historian and a creative
writer in Tamil. Being born in a conservative Tamil household as an
accidental second girl child, our author, C. S. Lakshmi did not receive deep
love and care from his father. However, her mother and grandmother
nurtured the child with support and guidance. That sowed the seeds of
working as a feminist writer and independent researcher in women's studies.
The factors that garnered her interest and expertise in Tamil language are her
primary education being in a Tamil medium school and her grandmothers
influence who introduced her to Tamil literature and songs.
The rebellious nature of her stories comes from the fact that she was a rebel
on her own. She went to Madras for her post-graduation against her fathers
wish and excelled in her field. Later on, she chose the penname Ambai for
her literary works and established her name C. S. Lakshmi as a researcher
and critic. Ambai chose her pen name for two reasons- one she was not
interested in the name of goddess Lakshmi being associated with her and
second the androgynous Amba- Shikhandi from The Mahabharata.
Her stories are written in a very realistic manner and the style engages the
reader. Be it her own experiences or her in-depth research, she writes
passionately about women with keen observations of womens issues from
an angle that convinces the reader and makes them think about the stories.
Most of her literary works are based on themes such as exploration of
silence, space, relationships, coming to terms with ones issues etc.
According to her, be it feminism or Marxism, any story has to contain its
potency to touch the readers otherwise despite of being a good story, these
works go unappreciated.
Character Development
This story is translated by Lakshmi Holmstorm in 2006. In a way it is quite
metaphorical as we will see later on. It is a folktale by Ambai from a childs
point of view. A story inside a story.

The whole story is filled with different nuances of Thangam Athais

character. Some parts describe her caring and gentle nature along with her
hardworking personality, some illustrate her great story telling ability and
some show the effects of her being seen as different due to infertility. All
these parts combined give us the fragments of observations about Thangam
Athai from a childs point of view.
This story is a unique one in two ways. First, the story is narrated by an
innocent child who is not able to understand why Athai was perceived
differently. It is like the author is trying to give us an idea that Athai was no
different from other women except some body functions. If we look at Athai
from an outsiders point of view. At one point, Athais character says these
lines. Why, whats wrong with my body? Dont I feel hungry at the right
times? Dont I sleep well? The same properties that all bodies have, this one
has, too. It feels pain when it is hurt. Its blood clots. If its wounds go septic,
it gathers pus. It digests the food it eats. What more do you want? These
lines show the agony she had because people thought of her as someone
different and looked pitifully at her despite of her being completely normal
in every other way. She wanted others to leave that one aspect of her body
behind and look at her like a normal person rather than a hollow body. As
the story progresses, we come to know that she has come to peace with her
body over the time and she created her own world of stories.
Second reason for the story being unique is that it has a story inside the story
which symbolizes the transition of Thangam Athai from being frustrated and
alone in a society that expects certain needs to be fulfilled by women to
being at peace with herself in that society and establish herself as an
individual who no longer feels alone and alienated because now she has a
world of her own.
Another major point of this story is the description of storytelling ability of
Athai. The narrator says that Athais stories were not conventional stories.
She made up those stories herself. Some of them were like fragments of
poetry and others were like songs which would never end. Her stories
developed in all sort of ways, without beginning, middle or end. Even the
gods and demons would alter in her stories. As she told the stories, the
characters came to life and the children could feel what the character is

feeling as if a real person. This in a way is similar to the writing style of

author herself. As mentioned before, the author writes with a touch of
realism and her stories engage the reader with its characters and they come
alive. She lived in her own world by creating those own stories where
everyone were treated with compassion even the demons. It is as though she
felt towards people who were neglected and considered as outsiders by
society. Similar to Athai, Ambai makes the reader go into the characters
mind and makes the reader understand the view of character from a different
perspective.
Last story analysis
The story told by Thangam Athai to children majorly describes Athais life
story. It is the most significant part of the story and it justifies the title too. It
shows how Athai began to accommodate herself in a world where she was
seen as an outsider and how she empowered herself to accept the reality of
her body and lived peacefully with it.
It was a very short story but it contained a powerful idea of getting
accustomed to the place ones living at and enjoying that. The story starts
with the description of a forest where everyone lives happily. Later on, it
moves towards a deer being alone in a strange forest. This part describes
Thangam Athais position in the society when they got to know about her
inability to bear children. She felt disconnected from the very society she
was living in. As the deer was in a state of fear, Athai felt that too. The
moment she was declared infertile, people started perceiving her differently
and many attempts were made to make her a complete women as they
believed it. The description of Athais situation when she was made to go to
physicians, all religious rituals and other efforts made by family members
connects with the fear of that deer being trapped alone in strange
environment. As the deer felt powerless, Athai was powerless too. She could
not escape the different forms of practices on herself for a long period of
time. She was desperate and helpless in that situation as seen from the
description.
In the last part of the story, the deer started to like the forest it was stranded
in and its terror disappeared after a while and it was at peace. This is a
symbolization for Athais situation now. She has transformed herself from

being a powerless woman controlled by other people wanting to be accepted

by other people to a person who no longer feels the need of being accepted
and is just happy with what she has now. Just like the deer, she is still
alienated and perceived differently from the society but she does not fear
that because through her stories and her work, she has created a world of her
own which is her strength. She is the most powerful person in that world and
she no longer feels the need of being validated by other people.
The format of this story is a conventional one. It is of a traditional fable
which is common to Indian household. Generally, elder ladies of the house
narrate these stories to children to pass on wisdom or teach them moral
values. However, despite of the story being of same format, the objective of
the story here is very different. Athai did not intend children to take away the
wisdom from the story. She did not teach moral values through this story.
She just described her position in the society in a metaphorical way to the
children who probably did not understand the idea behind it. At the end, the
children felt connected to the story. They felt like they were in the forest and
the deer was their friend and as the deer was at peace now, the children felt
the peace too. This is the power of Athais storytelling that even though
children did not relate to the story or they didnt know anything behind the
story, they still felt connected and engaged to it.
Social and psychological effects of infertility on women in India
According to Hindu mythology, producing children was considered to be a
duty that every couple has to do to repay their debt to their ancestors who
have not attained moksha. It was believed that these ancestors would be
reborn as the couples children and have another chance at getting moksha.
Only after becoming parents, men and women were considered to be
biologically fulfilled. If a couple fails to do so, they will suffer in a hell
named put for eternity.
As women carry the child, the burden to be a mother is higher on them.
Generally in India, a women is not considered as complete if she is not
married and has become a mother. After a certain age, she is expected to
have a child or it is believed that after effects of not having a child are
worse. If a couple fails to have children, it is a common practice in rural

areas that the husband would marry again to another woman in the hope of
having children with her. This is seen in the story itself. Thangam Athais
husband was re-married because Athai was unable to produce children. This
practice leaves the first wife emotionally detached from her husband and her
family. In the story, the husband still loved Athai but generally these women
are ostracized or made to live on their own. The family members would not
accept her to be a part of the household and sometimes even parents would
not accept her back. These women just stay with their in-laws and work for
them like a maid as we see in the story that Athai does all the work and lives
in store-room or in many cases, they commit suicide because of high
emotional trauma. The ostracism of women unable to carry a child
exacerbates their mental and physical condition. These women lose their
self-esteem and self-respects and accepts that they are of no use to the
family.
In India, having a child is also connected to the idea of extending ones
family for generations. If a woman cannot bear a child, the expectation of inlaws goes down with it and in many cases, these women are tortured. The
fact that it might have something to do with men is ignored. It is common in
rural areas where families do not have access to scientific ways like IVF,
once a couple fails at having children, they are blamed for not granting
grand-children.
Hindu culture also believes in the concept of Karma that is everything that
happens to a person is a result of his/her own actions from the past. It could
be from past life also. Thus, the women who cannot have children are
considered to have done something extremely bad in their past life and so
are believed to be ominous. In some families, they are not allowed to attend
family functions because it is believed that these women bring bad luck with
them. They are not allowed to be a part of any ritual related to motherhood
because their presence is considered to be ominous for child to be born.
These beliefs have heavy impacts on the mind of these women when they
face rejection from everywhere. All of them are not strong enough to fight
these rejections and they accept the fact that this is the result of their past
actions and they should be blamed for it.