December 2016

Style & Substance

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

Eddie
Redmayne
goes big
AND FOR HIS NEXT TRICK...
THE OSCAR WINNER MAGICS
INTO A BLOCKBUSTER STAR
Interview by Miranda Collinge
Photographs by Greg Williams

Also starring
Tom Ford, La Seydoux,
David Oyelowo, Ricky Gervais
andDavid Thomson on
Brangelina:TheMovies

AAGillnurses a grievance, Will Self beats his chest, Russell Norman goes on a bender,
Tim Lewis digests those Ladybird books and DonWinslow investigates drugs in America

December 2016

Contents

Power player P170

Hollywood star Eddie Redmayne at the nuclear
reactor plant, Dungeness, Kent, September 2016

COVERS

SUBSCRIBE
Eddie Redmayne

December 2016 | 4.35

Style & Substance

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

Eddie
Redmayne
goes big
AND FOR HIS NEXT TRICK...
THE OSCAR WINNER MAGICS
INTO A BLOCKBUSTER STAR
Interview by Miranda Collinge
Photographs by Greg Williams

Also starring
Tom Ford, La Seydoux,
David Oyelowo, Ricky Gervais
andDavid Thomson on
Brangelina:TheMovies

Photographs Greg Williams

Eddie Redmayne wears Newsstand edition:
navy double-wool double-breasted peacoat,
by Prada Subscriber edition: Black wool
double-breasted coat, by Prada

If you want a limited-edition version of

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AAGillnurses a grievance, Will Self beats his chest, Russell Norman goes on a bender,
Tim Lewis digests those Ladybird books and DonWinslow investigates drugs in America

@ukesquire

17

December 2016

Contents
REGULARS
AA GILL
P35
Esquires agony uncle carries
a torch for a historic heroine

WILL SELF
P39
The award-winning writer
beats his breast over his chest

STYLE
P45
Perfect parkas; seasonal shoes;
Russell Norman; party
survival; watches we wear; tidy
oce tech; Tallinn guide; top
cars of 2016; Jeremy Langmead;
Coach class; hot whiskies; chic
backpacks; Bulgari scents;
kimono trend; Cape Town tips
74

SOFTLY, SOFTLY
P186
Luxurious o-duty casual
styles modelled by forthright
lm star David Oyelowo

99

CITY SLICKER
P202
Just what The Doctor ordered
Matt Smith mixes up his
potent winter remedy of trad
tailoring with sporty accents

P115
Best lms of 2017 previewed;
75years of Capitol Records;
Donald Glover; internet
invective; Rolling Stones in
Cuba; going ape in Edinburgh;
Peter Doherty; Wodehouse in
the public house; Design
Museum show; Magnus
Carlsen, chess master;
non-league football heroes

OBJECT OF DESIRE
P218
Monclers Breval indigo
denim-wool-jersey bomber
186

115

CONTRIBUTORS
David Thomson

Miranda Collinge

Tom Barber

The film critic and commentator transcends

the hyperbole of a Hollywood divorce to assess
the careers of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Beneath the noise and stupidity of incessant
internet Brangelina exploitation, I find them
odd and interesting talents, he says. And
Ifeel sure that they are both going on to big
things. The contributing editors latest book,
How to Watch a Movie, is available now.

Being nice shouldnt be confused with being

bland, says Esquires features editor, who had
the pleasure of meeting Oscar-winning actor
Eddie Redmayne for this months cover
interview. And actually, in his company,
niceness becomes something of an art form.
Read the full report on page 170, along with
Collinges monthly dose of Culture high points
commencing on page 115.

In this months dossier, our travel editor revisits

the scene of his stag weekend Estonian
capital Tallinn. Revisit might be something of
an exaggeration, actually, says Barber. We
came to the best-preserved medieval city in
northern Europe and proceeded to spend the
entire time plastered. Second time around I had
the odd sense of dj vu, but on the whole it felt
like my first time there, and very pleasant for it.

20

Hearst Studios | Blair Getz Mezibov

CULTURE

FASHION

December 2016

Contents
FEATURES
FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

EDDIE IN HIS ELEMENT

P170
Forget Harry Potter the
next wizard jape from
JKRowling is set to propel
Eddie Redmayne into
anew realm of stardom

FRENCH FANCY
P180
Actress La Seydoux is not
the girl next door unless
you happen to live in the
right arrondissement

WHAT IVE LEARNED

P184
Tom Ford talks fatherhood,
fashion and lm-making

160

P142
How El Chapo Guzmn and
his rivals ooded America
with deadly new drug fentanyl

P194
The cinematic impact and
legacy of brand Brangelina,
and how Brad Pitt and
Angelina Jolie might move
on after their split, by lm
critic David Thomson

THE LADYBIRD BOYS

152

WHAT IVE LEARNED

P200
Ricky Gervais on success,
wealth and student days as
ahuman laundromat

P152
Two comedy writers revamped
old childrens books and
stormed the bestseller charts

LIFESTYLE WATCHES
P160
Beautiful timepieces to chime
with mans every endeavour
180

194

CONTRIBUTORS
Greg Williams

Tim Lewis

Paul Wilson

Ive shot Eddie a number of times over the last

eight years, says the British photographer of
cover star Redmayne. But this was the first
time either of us had been to Dungeness,
Britains only desert. Everywhere there were
pictures, and Eddie is a wonderful collaborator.
Aside from stills photography, Williams makes
his feature film directorial debut in 2017 with
Journey to Samarkand, written with brother Olly.

The contributing editor meets the men behind

a modern literary phenomenon the adult
incarnations of the beloved Ladybird books.
Idmet Joel and Jason 10 years ago, so I was
intrigued to see how their recent success had
changed them, he says. It hadnt: they still like
going to odd pubs and making each other laugh.
A features writer at The Observer, Lewiss book,
Land of Second Chances, is out now.

I had it in mind that Tom Ford could glean what

Iwas wearing just from the timbre of my voice,
says Wilson, after interviewing the designer
turned film-maker. He called from LA; in
London it was Friday night. Iwas at home and
had on... lets call them house shoes. If he did
sense the slippers, he didnt mention it. Anyway,
we had a smashing conversation and Nocturnal
Animals, his second film as director, is terrific.

22

Paul Zak | Horst Diekgerdes | Hearst Studios | Rex

MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS

THEMSELVES

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2016

Style & Substance

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December 2016

The trac jam is where we rst catch sight of the two leads,

EDITORS
LETTER

and where they rst catch sight of each other. Stones character,
it turns out, is a struggling actress who alternates humiliating
auditions with shifts as a studio lot barista. Gosling is a downon-his-luck piano player who dreams of opening a jazz club, but
for now supplements his negligible living playing keyboards in
a synth-pop covers band. (Theres a choice party scene in which
he is costumed as if he were trying out for an A-ha tribute group.)
Stone and Gosling sing, they dance, they fall in love, and so did I.
La La Land might have been ghastly: a self-satised love letter
from the movie industry to itself, choked with sugary follow-yourheart bromides, clotted with aw-shucks sentiment. Instead, the
swooning romance is seasoned with bittersweet wit, and the con-

It was a miserable Monday evening in October and Id just

siderable charisma of both actors carries the whole thing along

been caught in a violent downpour, the inevitable conclusion to

with the brio of a Tin Pan Alley tune. Plus, it looks gorgeous.

a day spent under the weather. Since breakfast Id been tired,

I was spat back out into the rainy Soho night feeling sunnier

hungover and heavy with cold. Now I was wet through and pissed

thanI had in weeks. I skipped home through the puddles, whis-

o; Eeyore in a sodden business suit and soggy socks.

tling like Gene Kelly. If the director of La La Land, Damien Cha-

Standing alone on Dean Street, in Soho, sheltering from the

zelle, had been in kissing distance, Id have snogged his little face

deluge under the sagging awning of a cheerless pub, I couldnt

o. (Then Id have tried to contact Scarlett Johansson to make

imagine that anything in particular would perk me up. But I knew

desperate apologies too late, too late.)

one thing that wouldnt. As luck would have it, this was exactly

This issue wasnt conceived as a lm special. But once Id seen

the thing I was about to do, which was to plonk my sorry, soaking,

La La Land, I looked at the stu we already had on the blocks and

bad-tempered self down in a subterranean screening room and sit

thought, what the hell, lets put on a show. So, weve ended upwith

through a high-spirited Hollywood musical.

a magazine that has a heavy emphasis on the movies.

It doesnt sound so bad, I know. Im spoilt, I know that, too. But

Our cover star, Eddie Redmayne, is, at 34, already a Best Actor

really, I wasnt in the mood. At that moment, such were my feel-

Oscar winner, for The Theory of Everything. (He was nominated

ings of dread and despair, Im not sure Id have been in the mood

again this year, for The Danish Girl.) This month, he has his rst

for anything at all. Had Scarlett Johansson magically appeared

blockbuster lead, in JK Rowlings Fantastic Beasts and Where

(these things happen in the movies) and oered me an enthusias-

to Find Them. As Esquires Miranda Collinge discovered, Red-

tic rubdown, using a towel she had only just removed from herself,

mayne in person is every bit as charming as advertised. Yup, its

I would have sadly shaken my head. Cover yourself up, girl, and

a feelgood interview, and nothing wrong with that. Elsewhere,

keep your mitts to yourself, Id have said to her. Im not in the

Paul Wilson interviews Tom Ford, whose new movie, Noctur-

mood. You know what these Hollywood sexpots are like.

nal Animals, is, like La La Land, a contemporary take on a classic

Still, the screening was a professional obligation. So in I went,

genre in this case, Hollywood noir. (Both lms are on our list

mumbled my name to the clipboard girl, surrendered my phone

of what to see this winter, beginning on page 115.) In New York

to the security guy, found a seat away from all the other loner los-

we meet David Oyelowo, another British actor making waves

ers, and hoped it would be over soon, and I could go home to bed.

Over There. In Paris, Lauren Collins sips chocolat chaud with the

Apart from the fact it is a musical, and its called La La Land,

soigne La Seydoux. And from California, the great David Thom-

which is a terrible title, and it stars Ryan Gosling

son muses on the cinematic legacy of the movies

and Emma Stone two actors whose charms,

former rst couple,Brangelina.

Iconfess, I have previously found myself curiously

Those of you not bothered about cinema

immune to I knew nothing about the lm. My

(heathens) should know that this issue also cov-

expectations were how to put this? not high.

ers all the usual Esquire areas of interest, from

La La Land opens on a freeway in you didnt

fashion to tness to food. Plus, Tim Lewis meets

see this one coming! Los Angeles. Trac is

the men behind the publishing sensation of the

bumper to bumper. The camera pans along the

moment, the Ladybird Books for Grown-ups.

long line of stationary cars, each blasting a dif-

This time last year, a friend who clearly knows

ferent genre of music. Slowly the drivers emerge

me far too well bought one for me. Its The Lady-

from their vehicles, singing and dancing, and

bird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis. Theres no illustra-

asingle showtune replaces the soundclash. The

tion of a fortysomething journalist with arunny

camera pulls back to reveal an epic musical num-

nose swinging on a lamppost in the rain, his

ber, in the primary colours of an MGM classic.

spirits lifted by having quietly wept through

Its bold and energetic, cheesy and ridiculous.

The editor, after seeing La La Land

a Hollywood romcom. But there should be.

Ladies and gentlemen I bought it.

(Scarlett Johansson not pictured)

Alex Bilmes, Editor-in-Chief

Rex

Cover yourself up, girl, and keep your mitts to yourself, Id have said.
Im not in the mood. You know what these Hollywood sexpots are like

30

Agony

AA Gill is Esquires

UNCLE
DYSFUNCTIONAL

Illustrations by Joe McKendry

This month, a touching testimonial to a great English

female war hero uncovers a troubling indisposition
onthe vocabulary front

Dear Sir,
You nd the missive in front of you is from Florence Nightingale. The very author whose reticent hand passed that sentence.
For it is I. I am Miss Nightingale, christened Florence because
Iwas born there. Did you ever hear a more melliuous name?
The nightingale: exemplary singer of celestial exuberance, the
sound of peaceful, beautiful, devout woods. And Florence:
theexciting city of Renaissance rebirth, the pinnacle of human
culture, the reticule of unsurpassed beauty and civilisation.
These were the labels attached to my birth. They are the highest and fairest wishes for a Christian child. Fuck, spunk, tits out,
wanker, cunt-face.
Where do you imagine I am, writing this letter now? The
smell is appalling the corruption of rotting wounds, the euvia from a chronic outbreak of cholera and infectious diarrhoea,
combined with no soap, no hygiene, horses and fear. A st in
your arsehole, sister.
Were in a general hospital at Scutari, the Crimea. They call
it a hospital. Its barely more than deaths waiting room, a warehouse of broken men. So, the rst question I want to ask the
century after my death piss aps is do you have any idea why
we fought in the Crimea? Do you have the vaguest inclination
as to the purpose, aims, morality or indeed who won? Bugger,
bugger, bugger, smeg. It is only memorable for two pieces of
ction: the worthy Tennysons Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward and the abusive Mr Tolstoys interminable War and Peace. Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.
My main purpose in writing to you is to ask, how did we
arrive at this place? How did you as a sex men manage to
arrange a world of industrial and cultural excellence but conduct a war for reasons that not one soldier in 100 could elucidate? And that was so appalling, so badly organised that most
casualties not modest, but the vast majority were the result
of appalling housekeeping, no sanitation, foul food, dirt, ignorance, vanity and squeamishness. Any housewife from any
slum in Stepney could have run a better sick room than the
army does here. Clit, clit, clit, bell-end. On my face, sergeant.
How is it that women, with their sensibility and concern, are all
swept aside, and ignored and patronised by men who plainly,

culpably, know no better? Look what they called me: The

Lady with the Lamp. The fucking prolapsed, fted, rectum
woman with ashagging lamp. I am the woman with a mop and
soap and broth and a blanket, not some fucking oce light.
I write this to you now because Im dead and none of the
whiskery old men will ever know that I wrote it. I couldnt tell
them any of it and then listen to them bathe me in paternal compliments and tell me that I was the nest example of my weaker
sex. Though heaven forfend theyd ever want to marry someone, a blood and vomit-stained harridan like me. I often wonder what it must be like to nally give yourself to a man, to come

Ill never submit to a man. Ill go to my

grave Florence: respectable, of the
nest ideas and the highest attitudes
ofnot men but of humanity

35

>

Agony

Men invoked art, empiricism, romance and God to the argument of

maintaining women as a secondary, passive and grateful sex

You died in 1910, just before the Great War. Youd seen
o the Victorians. You managed to overlap with Picasso and
Modernism, with Freud and psychoanalysis, combustion
engines and ight. None of which I expect you to approve of.
But still, you could be seen as a turning point. You started the
rst secular school of nursing, not done for God or heaven but
for health. You worked for the practical and the general and
the welfare of all. You were also deeply religious and mystical,
which, combined with your practical attributes, is more admirable. You were never a feminist you didnt believe in equality
rather in a commensurate dierence. You always preferred the
company of great men to simpering women. You said, damningly, I have never found one woman who has altered her life
by one iota for me or my opinions. This, of course, is a salutary
consequence of the institutional paternalism with its limiting
and humiliating options given to women for their choice of security and happiness and safety.
We wont apply Richard Curtiss happy ending to your
life in this instance. But I would perhaps add, now that over
a century has gone by, that there are millions and millions of
women who have altered their lives and had bushels of opinions
in part thanks to you.
The Crimean War started as an argument about the rights
of Christian minority churches in The Holy Land. No shit.
The total British casualties were 21,097 dead, of which 16,323
died of disease.
Fuck, fuck, shit, shit, piss.

as Eve, naked, lie beneath him, feel that pathetic little purse of
blood and tendon grow ardent and blindly assault the redoubt
of virginity. Ive seen them often enough, in the wards the
sad little gristle bres; the ploughs of male authority; ugly, blind
worms of selshness. Ill never submit to a man. Ill go to my
grave Florence: respectable, of the nest ideas and the highest attitudes of not men but of humanity.
I would be grateful if you didnt mention the Tourettes.
It hasnt been discovered yet and it only happens inside my
head. Fuck, fuck, shit. Bugger, bugger, bugger.

Dear Flo,
Thank you for the unexpected letter. Ive always wondered when
Western civilisation reached peak paternalism, and though you
can assume we started o pretty boorishly, youd have imagined
that as life and culture progressed, wed have made stu get better, a little fairer. But no. The arguments, the instincts, the ner
feelings, the cod-science and the turgid self-indulgence of men
was unrelentingly, spectacularly selsh. We invoked art, empiricism, romance and God to the argument of maintaining women
as a secondary, passive and most importantly grateful sex. And
I would probably say that you are in your bonnet, with your
light the high watermark of paternalism.

Email questions for AA Gill to

agonyuncle@esquire.co.uk

36

For more
AA Gill, go to
esquire.co.uk

Will Self

SELF
EXAMINATION
Each month, Will Self evaluates a signicant part of the male anatomy.
Here, he has a number of neuroses to get o his chest

Joe McKendry

In adolescence, were tormented by the inadequacies

of our burgeoning bodies: were too short or too tall, too fat or
too thin; our penises are shamingly teensy, or, in exceptional
cases, rather on the large side. We agonise over our complexion, our hair, the very shape of our earlobes (if, that is, we have
them at all). Indeed, Ive often thought to myself, in my capacity
as awriter of ctions, that the best way to get inside my female
characters minds is to imagine myself an adolescent boy once
more, because for most men the agonised self-consciousness
of appearance which haunts our teens fades with age, as we
become able to confront the harsh truth: we will never be truly
beautiful. By contrast, almost all women persist with the idea
that their looks are inchoate: a ower which will only fully bloom
in the right haute couture setting, or with the correct application
of some unguent made from porpoise foetuses.
No, us males learn to put up with our imperfections, and,
as our hair moults and our muzzles grizzle, we reach a deeper
acceptance of our ever-worsening personal appearance.
Frankly, it takes someone suering from a major psychopathology such as body dysmorphic disorder to persist in believing that his body is on the cusp of a major transformation that
will render him irresistible. Gentle reader, I am one such,
although only as regards one specic part of my body, to whit:
my chest or, to apply a useful term of my own coining, the chestal
area. (Which is also commonly termed the torso, an ascription
Ireject because it includes the back and I couldnt give a toss
about my back, because lets face it, you never manage to seduce
anyone by backing towards them. No: you go towards them, and
take them in your arms, you take them in your arms and you hug
them, mon brave, to your manly chest.)
I am a child of the Sixties, and really did grow up poring

over adverts for Charles Atlass amazing bodybuilding courses.

Thered either be a badly reproduced photo of the man himself, captioned In Seven Days I can Make YOU a New Man!, or
acartoon strip in which, over some eight panels, a weedy man
has sand kicked in his face, so humiliating him into a free course
of body-building. Back on the sable but looking bu, he sticks the
sand-kickers foot in his own gob and gets the girl. Now, dont
get me wrong: theres nothing more disgusting than a man so

Women I know have always made it clear: muscle is welcome, although by

nomeans essential. Be that as it (Theresa) may, Ive always known that
awell-dened thorax can charm any queenly bee out of her fuck-me heels

39

>

Will Self

pumped he looks as if a brace of porpoise foetuses have been

sewn into his chestal area; while the vast majority of discerning women I know have always made it perfectly clear: adequate
muscle is welcome, although by no means essential. Be that as it
(Theresa) may, Ive always known as do you that a well-dened thorax can charm any queenly bee out of her fuck-me
heels. Not being naturally well-endowed (I take an eggcup),
you mightve thought Id have done the necessary, or at least
sent away for Chucks FREE! booklet. But no, decade has succeeded year, with none of the appropriate action not a dumbbell hefted and no sitting up, even to beg. Despite going out into
a blizzard of intoxicants for some time, Ive managed to retain
reasonable tness. Ive cycled, swum and long-distance-walked
into my mid-fties, but throughout everything Ive retained
the chestal area of a nerdy 14-year-old boy: a abby little belly
and anarrow, sunken chest with nips like currants on a slab of
slightly hairy blancmange.
Sometimes Ill catch sight of this weirdness in a mirror and
reel back, adjuring myself to join a gym, or even just do a few
press-ups. I did join a gym once, but the induction tour alone
lled me with a sense of terrible oppression, as if Id swallowed
a sweat-stained medicine ball. I saw myself months hence, my
chestal area rough-hewn, but my brain turned to mush by ceaselessly repeating spasmodic motions in the company of machines.
And yet, while I nurse no expectations of growing fairer by
accident or design in any other respect, I hang on to my thoracic delusion: one day, quite spontaneously, Ill begin properly
exercising, and soon enough Ill look so hench, my daughters
friends, who use the term to express their warmest approbation, will say: Your dads looking hench Not that Id dream
of deploying my newfound charms to seduce anyone, of any age;
rather, the possessor of a magnied pair of pecs and ascintillating six-pack, Id be content for news of my chest like the chest
itself to arrive before me.
There was a period when this was true: during my heaviest
boozing years, my chest remained narrow and sunken, but I did
at least have big enough beer-battered tits for my oldest friend
who happens to be a psychiatrist to dub me Gynaecomastia
Man. I didnt let it get to me, any more than Ive let the raw facts
of ageing interfere with my Schwarzeneggerian delusions. But
the facts are harsh: men progressively lose muscle-mass in middle age, while its extremely dicult if not next to impossible
to put it on. Unkind folk, lacking in the least politesse, often
describe middle-aged women as mutton-dressed-as-lamb, but if
I were by some miracle to acquire a chest now, Id look like mutton dressed in lamb; not a pretty sight.
The Italian writer, Italo Svevo, once observed that the reason he had never managed to give up smoking, despite repeated
attempts, was probably that while he kept pung, he could

retain the idea of himself as potentially a non-smoker withall

the moral lustre such a status suggests but if he were actually to give up, this vision would dissolve into humdrum and
imperfect reality. I think its a bit like this with my imaginary
poitrine: its hammered-bronze curves contain a heart far more
generous and loving than mine could ever be, and on that basis
alone I probably cant prevent myself from living the dream,
right up until Im encased in a rather more utilitarian and
wooden chest.

Ive cycled, swum and long-distance-walked into my mid-fties, but

throughout everything Ive retained the chestal area of a nerdy 14-year-old
boy: a abby little belly and a narrow, sunken chest with nips like currants

40

Style / Fashion

Triple threat

See Stockists page for details

The parka meets the bomber meets the

puffa: three classics collide in winters
warmest and coolest weekend coats

Burgundy cotton-polyester
parka with faux fur hood, 280,
by Timberland

Photograph by Sam Armstrong

Invented by the Caribou Inuit, issued to American troops

inthe Korean War, made famous and fashionable by scooterriding Sixties mods and reappropriated by Nineties Britpop
luminaries, the parka has a lengthy history of keeping
peoplewarm and making them look cool. This season,
thelength has been kept to a minimum, as designers
cropothe famous shtail and incorporate features from
other outerwear staples the bomber, the pua for
afreshtake on a mens style classic. Call this new hybrid
parkawhatever you like, just dont call it an anorak.

Olive polyester-nylon parka with

faux fur hood, 2,495, by
RalphLauren Purple Label

Dark blue cottonnylon parka,535,

byWoolrich

45

Style / Fashion

Well
heeled
for
winter
The seasons
important
footweartrends,
sorted

01

Patent
leather
If you wear a tux, you need
a good pair of patent
leather dress shoes and
thats a fact. Though
ahigh-shine black leather
upper is essential, the shoe
itself can take many forms.
Case in point: Giuseppe
Zanottis tasselled loafers.
Purists might dget, but
they are perfectly suitable
for a tuxedo dress code,
providing said tuxedo is
similarly unorthodox.
These loafers can be found
at Zanottis new London
agship shop on Conduit
Street, alongside
theItalian brands
accessoriesand ready-towear clothing.

Black patent
leather loafers,
555, by
GiuseppeZanotti

From left:
Black, 130, by Loake
Black, 495, by Christian Louboutin
Black, 505, by JM Weston

>

Photographs by Jody Todd

47

Style / Fashion

Black/navy
leather chunky
derbys, 350,
byChurchs

02

Chunky
derbys
Its the trend that doesnt
fade, which is ne by us,
because a chunky derby
shoe is a mans best friend.
They can be worn with
asuit make sure the
trousers are slim and
slightly cropped, and the
jacket unstructured
orwith jeans and sturdy
knitwear for easily
achieved o-duty cool.
Ifthe sheer puddle-beating
heft isnt enough for you,
consider a two-tone design
like these apron-toed
beauties by Churchs, just
be sure to keep the colours
relatively similar. We dont
want to wander into clown
territory, do we?

From left:
Brown, 430, by Tods
Black, 70, by Marks and Spencer
Burgundy, 360, by Canali

>

48

Style / Fashion

Blue leather
high-top
trainers, 450,
by Jimmy
Choo

03

High-top
trainers

From left:
Navy suede, 325, by Moncler
Beige suede, 65, by Topman
Black leather, 38, by Next

50

See Stockists page for details

Trainers might be easy, but

nailing a high-top look is
surprisingly hard. Worn
with the wrong trousers,
they can make legs look
stumpy, so our advice is to
go short. Slim jeans, wool
trousers or chinos can all
work, but there needs to be
a slight gap between shoe
and cu to elongate the leg
even better if theres
aash of contrasting sock
between the two. Leather
as seen here from Jimmy
Choo and suede are the
key textures for AW 16,
and the silhouette is more
robust; all the more reason
to keep those trouser legs
shorter than average.

Style / Food

THE ACCIDENTAL COOK

The month ofeating dangerously

Our house chef Russell Norman has partaken of a culinary odyssey,
devouring and downing everything set before him (research,
youunderstand). Does he feel bad now? Not much

Getty

Dear reader, I have been on a bender.

From time-to-time, a fellow just needs
to let rip, roll up his sleeves and go for it.
And over the past month its fair to say
that fellow has been me.
I havent turned down a single lunch
invitation. I have said yes to every
dinner request. And, even though party
season has yet to get underway, my
mantelpiece has been stacked with
sties for parties, book launches,
awards bashes and restaurant
openings. Im exhausted.
But its not so much the gin whats
done me in (to paraphrase Eliza
Doolittle), its the grub. Party booze
isactually very easy to avoid, being

mostly oversweet cocktails (strawberry

daiquiri anyone?), warm white wine
and Prosecco. My problem has been the
sheer volume of food Ive beeneating
over a sustained period ofabout
amonth. Now, I go to the gym, I skip
breakfast, and I try not to eat deep-fried
confectionery, but my metabolism just
hasnt been able to keep up.
Lets start with the restaurant
openings. In central London alone,
there have been at least three new
launches every week since the summer.
Traditionally, autumn and winter are
good times to open a restaurant. Youget
an initial urry of interest as everyone
wants to try the new place in town,

A feast for the

eyes: Banquet
StillLife
byFlemish
painterAdriaen
van Utrecht

then, just as the novelty of being new

wears o, the run-up to Christmas
begins, and thats busy season. I try to
get to as many new places as possible
and I tend to over-order, particularly if
theres a soft-launch discount. But then
the free food comes, and Im doomed.
New restaurants want to impress
and its quite common for chefs to send
out extra plates and tasters. Three or
four dishes can easily become six
or seven. And its rude not to eat
everything, isnt it? Additionally, there
is a remarkable phenomenon I have
noticed when faced with an abundance
of food, and that is that the more you
eat, the easier it gets. Italians have

55

>

Style / Food

aneat expression to describe this:

Lappetito vien mangiando. Your
appetite comes when you start to eat.
Next are the professional
requirements of my job, which is,
afterall, running restaurants. A recent
new menu tasting in London involved 22
separate dishes, all of which had
tobegiven a thorough going over.
Afterwards, I could barely move.
Then there is the small matter of my
next cookbook. I have been testing
recipes, making adjustments, retesting
and photographing at a rate of four
dishes a day. And once the photography
is done it seems such a shame to throw
all that food away. So I dont.
The sharp-witted among you will
have noticed that Im using this months
column as a confessional, a sort of
therapy session. This is partly true, and

A recent new menu tasting

involved 22 separate
dishes.Afterwards,
Icouldbarely move
Iwill come back to my ultimate purpose
later, but eating so much and in such
varied settings and circumstances has
taught me something else lately, and that
is that food is changing.
There was a time, not so long ago,
when food was seen as sustenance.
Youre hungry? You eat. But the massive
surge in aordable dining over the past
eight years, the dizzying variety of new
cuisines and esoteric variations in the
past ve, and the huge popularity of food

Greed is good:
Russell Norman
takes great
pleasure in
the rising rate
of restaurant
openings come
autumn/winter

56

telly, represented by MasterChef, The

Great British Bake O and Saturday
Kitchen has meant that food is
everywhere. Its on our minds all the
time. Its on our Twitter feeds and
Instagram pages. I hear constantly that
food is the new rocknroll, but Id say its
more than that. Its the new sliced bread.
And its got to stop.
I notice the insidious advance of
overcomplicated food, menus that try too
hard and dishes that attempt to reinvent
the wheel, most keenly in restaurants
where overambitious young chefs are
given too much rein. Unchecked and
unchallenged, these whippersnappers
will be adding foams, placing sauce in
dots around the plate, using boards
andslates, and generally smearing and
scaolding like a nightmare episode
ofMasterChef: The Professionals. I was
ata gastropub insouth-east London
recently where all of these sins were
visited in the space of asingle meal.
Thedead giveaway was that the menu
boasted the name of the (unknown) chef.
That should have been enough to get me
running across the road to the sh and
chip shop.
My own cooking keeps me sane. It
iscompletely uncontroversial, never veers
from the classics, and is always simple,
rarely using more than three or four
ingredients. Those excellent restaurants
that open so frequently and choose to do
one thing only, and do it well, always hit
the nail on the head. And thank heavens
for country pubs where honest,
homemade comfort food is served by
aruddy-cheeked chef who knows that
good ingredients prepared simply will
always, always win.
So, to this months recipe. Well,heres
the thing: what with overindulging,
eating more than isstrictly necessary
tosustain my burgeoning frame, and
realising that just because all the pies
arethere, it doesnt mean I have to eat
them, there is no recipe. I think it is
important that we understand we are in
this together. Whats good for you is good
for me. Mi casa es su casa, and all that.
Isuggest apot of green tea and a long,
brisk walk.
But dont worry, normal service
willresume next month when I eschew
Christmas in favour of New Years Day
and attempt to make lentils sexy. (Ihave
to admit, all this talk of food hasmade
mequite hungry...)
Russell Norman is the founder of
Polpo and Spuntino;
Instagram: russell_norman
russellnorman.net

Style / Grooming

The party planner

How to survive seasonal shenanigans your body will thank us
Go ahead, tell yourself youre a changed man. This party season you will be the
embodiment of restraint, the guest of virtue true and the designated driver. But we know
its a sham, and plenty will be drunk. So, best consult our guide to pretoxing and detoxing:

THE MIND

THE MIND

Plan ahead
Be clever the night before. Lay out your clothes,
pre-prepare a morning smoothie, and book in a
breakfast meeting to give you an extra hour in bed.

BrainWave Hangover Relief app

Low-frequency alpha and theta waves synchronise
brain patterns to aid relaxation and allay headaches.
Doesnt keep the boss away. Sorry. 80p; iOS

THE BODY

THE BODY

Asparagus, avocado and chicken sandwich

Real superfood: asparagus breaks down alcohol,
avocado coats the stomach wall with (good) fat, and
chicken fills the stomach to soak up excess booze.

Fushi Milk Thistle Tincture

A liver and kidney tonic to reduce inflammation and
protect organs. Add a few drops to water before
bed and the next day. What hangover? 9/100ml

THE HAIR

THE HAIR

Texture paste by Fellow Barber

A very impressive, medium hold, matte finish styling
product. Happily, its water soluble to wash out
easily the morning after a big night out. 20/57g

Bumble & Bumble Surf Foam Wash Shampoo

Get some surf bum refreshment; its clean-rinsing
formula wipes out impurities from the hair to
make way for a soft, full-bodied finish. 19/250ml

THE FACE
Braun Series 9
Sculpt, shave and trim
whiskers to perfection.
Itsfive shaving elements
adapt to beards via
SyncroSonic technology.
340
Sisley Mattifying
Moisturiser
A great daily moisturiser
containing extracts of
benzoin and burdock.
Itclaims to take away the

58

Detox

unwanted shine from your

complexion always
handy for when the
cameras are flashing.
80/50ml
Byredo Super Cedar
Woody, crisp and loaded
with Haitian vetiver, this
parfum is curious but
classic. OK, its not
technically for faces but
you still need to smell good.
135/100ml

THE FACE
Malin + Goetz Detox
Facial Mask
A five-minute foaming gel
mask (with green tea
extract) that doesnt just
flush out your pores,
italsocreates a barrier
tolock in moisture.
30/118ml
Buly toothpaste
andtoothbrush
A sweet, peppery, Parisian
alternative to humdrum

mint toothpaste. Use Bulys

acetate with a silk or boar
bristles brush, too.
20; 36
Polaar Men Icy Stick
Hyrdaboost Eyes
Its Siberian ginseng and
caffeine extract primary
ingredients improve the
microcirculation of blood
around the eyes to reduce
puffiness and dark circles.
23/6g

Illustration by Robbie Porter

See Stockists page for details

Pretox

Style / Watches

Time, gentlemen, please

Eighteen exemplars of Esquire style reveal the watches
thatadorn their wrists and lie closest to their hearts

JASON ATHERTON

JOE MILLS

Chef, restaurateur

Founder, Joe & Co barbershop

JEREMY HACKETT
Fashion designer

The Time Pyramid by Arnold & Son is a unique watch

design, based on the old English carriage clocks, that
has me fascinated by its simplicity and beauty. Sbastien
Chaulmontets creation is simply genius and this watch
will soon become a collectors classic.

My first real standout timepiece was

a Breitling Superocean. It was a gift for
my 30th birthday, and I still wear this as
my everyday watch. I also have a 1960
Omega dress watch, a Hamilton Pilot
and a 1975 Rolex Air-King, and Ive
recently been introduced to Precista.

A 1963 Rolex Explorer.

PETER YORK
Writer, cultural commentator
I have a Hamilton, a [Cartier] Ballon Bleu
and an old Dunhill Millenium, but my favourite
is my Timex Indiglo. It lights up in the dark; it
has a nice plain look and it is very cheap.

CHRIS PINE
Actor
Rolex Submariner.

EDDIE REDMAYNE
Actor
I admire the Omega Globemaster for its really
simple design, but its a design with heritage,
and its also incredibly beautiful. It has the
Master Chronometer certificate, which is the first
of its kind, but its the elegance that I love.

DERMOT OLEARY
Broadcaster

LUKE SWEENEY

CHARLIE CASELY-HAYFORD

Co-founder, Thom Sweeney

Fashion designer

I wear an 18k gold Rolex Day-Date on a brown

leather strap. I like the size, its 36mm, which
isnt too overbearing. Gold sounds a bit crass,
but as its vintage its a bit worn with a nice finish.

One of my earliest memories of my father was looking up at his

Breitling Navitimer. Last year I got an updated version. It has a lot of
sentimental value, but I also love the design and mechanism. Im 6ft
6in so the oversized 46mm diameter counterbalances my gigantism.

Photographs by Luke Albert

A Tag Heuer Carrera, plus

an IWC for the evening.

>

63

Style / Watches

ROBIN SWITHINBANK

OLIVER SPENCER

Esquire watch columnist

Fashion designer

My particular leanings are towards chronograph designs of the late Fifties and early Sixties, pieces
like my Breitling Transocean which I wear on a steel Milanese bracelet. I also have a limited-edition
Tag Heuer Carrera made for, and designed by, Jack Heuer as part of his 80th birthday celebrations.

A 1968 Omega Speedmaster.

JASON BASMAJIAN
Chief creative officer,
Cerruti 1881

JEREMY LANGMEAD

PATRICK GRANT

IWC Portugieser.

Fashion designer

Brand and content director, Mr Porter;

A Drive de Cartier. Its the subtlety that

I love: the perfect harmony of the
blued-steel, sword-shaped hands and
the sapphire in the crown; the minute
precision of the silvered flinqu dial.
Itsbeautiful and elegant and ageless.

Esquirecolumnist
My favourite is a Power Reserve 40 rose gold-tone
stainless steel and alligator strap watch by Zenith.
Its a clean, classic design with the right dose of glamour.

COLIN FARRELL
Actor

DAVID GANDY
ALEX BILMES

Model

CHRISTOPHER
RAEBURN

Omega Seamaster Bullhead.

Fashion designer

Esquire Editor-in-Chief
I wear a Panerai Luminor Marina. Stainless steel with a blue face. I won it,
believe it or not, in a shooting competition. Clay pigeons with shotguns
and targets with rifles. I had never shot before. It was beginners luck,
clearly, but I was brilliant. I couldnt miss! That was 16 years ago and
Ihavent shot since. For one: I hate guns. For two: Ill never be that good
again, so why spoil it? I love the watch. It doesnt keep perfect time any
more it loses about five minutes a week but its got a story. I won it!

64

Victorinox Inox.

AMIR KHAN
Boxer
I have 25 in total a rose gold Rolex Daytona, Audemars Piguet,
Franck Muller, Jacob & Co, Hublot Big Bang the list goes on!

See Stockists page for details

My phone.

Esquire / Promotion

3-4 December 2016

A festive weekend in Chelsea:

seven great things to do

Done right, Christmas shopping is about warm coats, hot beverages
and having the time to enjoy leisurely strolls. To ensure your shopping
extravaganza is complete this Christmas, weve pulled out all the
stops. On Saturday 3 and Sunday 4 of December, Esquire invites you
to an unforgettable experience in the capitals iconic shopping hub,
Chelsea. Prepare to eat, shop and be merry.

#1
Christmas inspiration
Whether its a last-minute gift for the
in-laws, or a bespoke token of love, Chelsea
is the place to nd the perfect Christmas gift.
With helpful elves on hand to oer advice
to shoppers and Esquire swing tags on our
handpicked fashion edit, this weekend
istailored to you. Download the map before
(see end for details) or pick one up at Sloane
Square on the day and get ready to explore.

#2
Horse and carriage rides
Glass of champagne? Check. Handcrafted chocolates? Check. That perfect
Christmas gift for her? Yeah, youve got
that covered, too. The only thing youre
lacking is aromantic horse and carriage ride
through the streets with scents of mulled

66

wine, the sound of carols and festive lights

hanging overhead. Sounds perfect, right?
Its what Christmas is all about. Theres
acertain sense of panache that comes with
being ferried through the seasonal streets
by horsepower and this service will be
available free of charge throughout the
weekend to help you make the most of those
crisp December evenings. Its as if your
weekend has been planned to perfection

#3
Gourmet delights
A weekend dedicated to shopping and
strolling needs to be accompanied with
the nest seasonal sustenance. Yes, the
Gourmet Gift Market at Duke of York Square
is the ideal place for picking up presents for
food-loving friends. Theres plenty to treat
yourself to as well, whether thats picking up
a warm bag of roasted chestnuts gathered
in Tuscany and served at Natoora on Pavilion
Road (with a slice of panettone courtesy of
Giorgio Armani for afters) or settling in for
a leisurely lunch. Enjoy a complimentary
glass of champagne when you order two
courses of modern European dining at The
Botanist, or celebrate ticking o every item
on your list with the two-hour unlimited
Prosecco oer at Gallery Mess. Feeling
the chill? Pop into Artisan du Chocolat for
ahot chocolate, while a cup of warming rum
punch is pretty much guaranteed to ensure
a warm glow, whatever the weather.

Esquire / Promotion

#4
Fashion advice
from Esquire
The season of merrymaking is
also the one in which the debonair
gentleman is nally able to layer
up his sartorial selections after
months of light sweaters and shirts.
Widely regarded as the capitals
contemporary fashion hub, Chelsea
has you covered from the likes
of Tom Ford, Ermenegildo Zegna,
Roberto Cavalli, Rag & Bone
and Hackett on Sloane Street, to
J Crew and Tateossian on Sloane
Square, alongside many others. In
short, whether youre stocking up
for a seasonal getaway, in need of
essentials or after a statement piece
for that important festive dinner,
Chelseas sartorial oerings have it
sorted. And if that wasnt enough, for
Saturday only, Catherine Hayward,
fashion director of Esquire UK
and Esquires Big Black Book will be
on hand at Ermenegildo Zegna for
shopping consultations, where she
will be oering expert insight on
style and substance from Britains
most on-trend publication.

#5
Christmas spirit

#6
Festive stroll

Theres a reason everyones always so jolly in

Christmas card scenes, and it isnt just the
impending time o work bringing a touch
of seasonal magic to the people shopping on
the streets. No, as any kitchen connoisseur
knows, its a steaming mug of mulled wine
that properly osets the colder evenings,
or better still champagne. Luckily, from
Pavilion Wine to Bulgari, and French Sole to
Cosmetics la Carte, a whole host of retailers
in the area will be fuelling your shopping day
with acomplimentary glass of zz. And for
the non-partakers, Raw Press will be serving
artisanal pumpkin spice lattes.

Theres nothing quite like taking a walk

through the beautiful, historic streets of
Chelsea and no better time of year to
do it than in the lead up to Christmas.
With chic restaurants, bars and outtters
from Sloane Street and Sloane Square to
Duke of York Square taking part in this
unique shopping event, be sure to give
yourself enough time to properly explore.
Youll nd iconic architecture and worldclass performance venues, from the Grade
II-listed Saatchi Gallery and Cadogan Hall
(home to the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra,
no less) to The Royal Court Theatre. Its one
of Londons best places for taking in the
Christmas lights without the West End
crowds. And all to a soundtrack of vintage
seasonal favourites and carol singing in
support of charity Glass Door.

#7
One of a kind presents
The key to successful gift-giving lies in
providing a present that is as special as the
person. A good place to start is the Taschen
shop on Duke of York Square. A stones
throw from the Saatchi Gallery, its the
perfect destination for creatives, while
nearby Potterton Books is a treasure trove
for ideas. And, for those with practical
sensibilities, David Mellor Design and Tom
Davies Opticians in Sloane Square oer the
kind of thoughtful presents that are sure to
be treasured. Want more? Bentleys Antique
Shop on Lower Sloane Street never fails to
produce something truly one of a kind.

Illustrations by Adam Nickel

Find out more about the weekend and

download a map of participating retailers,
oers and events at inchelsea.co.uk

67

Style / Technology

3.

1.

2.

4.

5.

Work smarter
Declutter your desktop

Words by Johnny Davis

Montblancs Augmented Paper integrates traditional

writing into the digital workow bytransferring notes
and sketches onto your mobile device. Consisting
ofamodied pen and an Italian leather notebook,
itsa luxurious way to streamline your workplace.
Addin the other tech here and you are one step
closerto the fabled paperless oce.

Photograph by Dan McAlister

1. XPS 13 by Dell

2. P9 Plus by Huawei

Ultra-thin laptop with

Windows 10 Pro, the
latest Intel processor
and a full HD, virtually
borderless display.
900, dell.com

Android phone that

packs a 5.5in screen,
fingerprint scanner and
two Leica cameras.
605 (price varies with
contract), huawei.com

4. CanoScan LiDE 220

by Canon

5. Augmented Paper
by Montblanc

Slim scanner that

sends detailed
documents and photos
to cloud services like
Dropbox and Evernote.
85, store.canon.co.uk

The notebook and pen

use electromagnetic
resonance to digitise
writing and doodling
made on the pad.
530, montblanc.com

3. Brass table lamp

byDavid Chipperfield
There are no visible
joints in this minimalist
light, constructed from
distinctive brass.
415, scp.co.uk

69

Style / Travel

THE BARBER DOSSIER

Tallinn

Lets play the word association game. If I say Tallinn, what pops

See

Do

into your head? If its where? then you need to swot up on your Baltic
basics, young man. If its stag weekend, then gold stars to you, sir.
You see, Estonias capital has long had a reputation as a prime haunt
for stag parties, including Ill freely admit my own. That was
more years ago than I care to remember (or can remember full stop,
me being the stag and all), so I thought it was time to revisit the Old
Town, northern Europes most perfectly preserved medieval city.
Imglad I did... I barely recognised a building.
Tom Barber is a founder of the award-winning travel company
originaltravel.co.uk

The Kiek in de Kk sounds

painful, but the impressive
towers that dot the entirely intact
city walls provide sublime views
of the Old Town. Its name means
peep in the kitchen in Low
German, and refers to when city
guards could peer into medieval
kitchens from the ramparts.
linnamuuseum.ee/kok/en/

Venture beyond the Old Town to

Telliskivi Loomelinnak (creative
city). Its a hub for, well,
creativesin an old Soviet-era
industrial complex with art shows,
cafs, boutiques and, on Saturdays,
afun ea market. In summer,
Kultuurikatel (KKA) is another
creative enterprise with DJs, table
tennis and galleries. telliskivi.eu >

70

Getty

Making its name as a major stag haunt

in the Nineties, Estonias Old Town has
matured in sophistication to become
the Baltics boutique playground

Style / Travel

Stay

Must Puudel cafe

A no-brainer. The Three

Sisters Hotel named for the
three adjoining 14th-century
buildings on cobbled Pikk
Street that house the rooms
combines medieval
architecture with mod cons.
And it contains one of the citys
nest restaurants, Bordoo,
where the head chef Pavel
Gurjanov gets creative with
fresh local produce.
threesistershotel.com; bordoo.ee

For a heavenly night out, head

to Prgu (which is Hell in
Estonian), named for its
subterranean setting rather
than any devilish decor.
Instead, expect barrel-vaulted
ceilings, long tables and nearly
20 cask ales, most of them
brewed locally. If the ale fails
your fancy, head instead to
Buttery Lounge, where its
wall-to-wall cocktails with
titles like George Clooney,
Im Sweet and, err,
Oomaigaaden Marmelaaden.
porgu.ee; kokteilibaar.ee

Party
Now youre getting the hang
ofEstonia but there are no
prizes for guessing Klubi Teater
is a club in a former theatre.
Reserve one of its old boxes as
aVIP private room to enjoy
house tracks from an extensive
roster of DJs, plus occasional
live music, and glam dancers
on podiums. Come to think of
it, this place rings a distant bell
from a few years back
klubiteater.ee

Drink

When in
Estonian Design House

Head to Must Puudel (Black

Poodle), a super-cool caf
with nods to East Berlin chic:
mismatched furniture, ironic
Soviet-era ephemera and
Tallinns trendies. Whatever
time of day you graze here,
leave room for the blue cheese
ice cream. Yup, and yum.
Mrivahe 20, 10140

Shop

Avoid

Youd be forgiven for thinking

youd stumbled in to one of
Copenhagens cooler stores
butfor its name of the
Estonian Design House. Shop
for everything from T-shirts
toaGreenCube One+ (the
ultimate man cave/garden
oce) all from, as the name
suggests, Estonian designers.
estoniandesignhouse.ee

Rutting stag parties. It

shouldnt be too dicult as
theyll most likely be running
rampant in packs, ring o
AK-47s in the woodland ring
ranges or undertaking epic pub
and nightclub crawls. Stick to
these Esquire spots and you
should be just ne.

Noa restaurant

Why now?
Lunch
The Nordic foodie revolution
has reached Estonia with its top
chef, Tnis Siigur, leading the
charge at Noa, a modernist
masterpiece of an ark (Noa is
Noah) looking across a bay
tothe Old Town. Its not quite
Noma but nonetheless Siigur
makes excellent use of the local
fare. Try oysters with kohlrabi
(aturnip/cabbage better than
it sounds) with cucumber.
noaresto.ee

Get there: easyJet ies daily and direct from London to Tallinn

Because Tallinn is a prettier

picture in the winter snow and
the Christmas market in the
town square is one of the less
twee variants. More to the
point, the wintertime is also
anexcellent excuse to glug
some glgi; its the Estonian
equivalent of glhwein,
madehere from red wine,
sugar, spices and bitter orange
with a generous slug of
warming Akvavit the erce
local potato spirit just
forgood measure.

Style / Cars

ASTON MARTIN DB11

The patriots choice
When we spent the day at Aston Martins Warwickshire factory, we were blown away by
the DB11, one of the years prettiest cars. The 5.2L V12 takes the British marques new
flagship from 0-62kmh in under 4secs, and it all tops out at 200mph. astonmartin.com

Top year
The Esquire verdict on the best cars of 2016

BENTLEY BENTAYGA
The ultimate four-wheeled statement

For so many reasons, 2016 has been a terrible year Bowie,

the Euros, Prince, Brexit, Trump but it hasnt been all bad,
especially for cars. Top speeds have been topped, 062s
quickened, chassis sculpted and miles-to-the-gallons
improved. Some serious gems have emerged, so before we
welcome the class of 2017, we cast our eyes back and dole out
some praise for this years cars that took our breath away.

Bentleys first foray into the SUV arena (and ergo the most ridiculously luxurious 4WD
ever), the Bentayga has the optional extra of a dashboard-mounted, tourbillon-driven
Breitling clock. At a slated 150k, its only 10k less than the car itself. bentleymotors.com

PORSCHE 911 TARGA 4S

AUDI A5 COUP

The roof (yep, the roof)

The interior you want to live in

The Targa might just be our favourite 911 of all time. Its the roof, or lack thereof, you
see.First introduced in the Sixties as a safety feature, its unorthodox rollbar design
hasgarnered a large and dedicated following over the years. The 2016 might just
bethe best version yet. porsche.com

On the outside, the A5 is broad, muscular and sleek, but inside, its a womb-like cocoon
in which you can while away hours of motorway slog a hug with an engine, if you will. It
has an easy-to-use infotainment system, an ergonomic configuration of levers, switches
and cup holders, and the seat can be manipulated into myriad yogic positions. audi.co.uk

74

Style / Cars

HONDA NSX
The non-obvious supercar

Words by Charlie Teasdale

Perhaps the most exciting release

of 2016, especially since Honda first
announced it back in 2007. Boy, was
it worth the wait. Blistering speed
(from a hybrid engine), sharp,
muscular looks and stuffed with
enough tech to take you to Mars, the
AWD NSX is a supercar it may not
be the first to spring to mind but
deserves your attention at least as
much as anything else. honda.co.uk

BMW M4 GTS

TESLA MODEL S

The silly saloon

The car that makes you feel (justifiably) smug

One look at the insanely low front splitter and that bulging, snub-nosed bonnet and youll
want to drive BMWs M4 GTS. Its the fastest production car the German manufacturer
has made, and there are only 30 for sale in the UK. But if you think youve found your next
family car, you havent: the M4 GTS should be reserved for the track alone. bmw.co.uk

Time was, electric vehicles were scoffed at by the petrolhead stonewash-jeans-andblazer brigade, but Tesla has silenced them. The Roadster was the billboard release
but the Model S has cemented the Silicon Valley companys place in the market and,
being punchier still, given the saloon kings a run for their money. tesla.com

75

Style / Fashion

THE STYLE COLUMN

Jeremy
Langmead
When it comes to menswear,
Becks still sells

78

Trend it like
Beckham: brands
with the former
footballer on-side
always come
offvictorious

Red/blue check
wool coat with
shearling collar,
995; navy
striped blazer,
595; doublebreasted wool
peacoat with
shearling collar,
1,200, all by
Kent & Curwen

menswear brand; a traditional sporting

outtter being given a modern-day
makeover by its new owners. Beckham
has invested in thecompany and is
taking an active part in its look and
feel. Hes not the designer that job
belongs to Daniel Kearns but theres
a strong nod to his own distinctive style
in the sharp tailoring with chunky
o-duty classics throughout this
rstcollection.
Many traditional brands that
grewup on Savile Row or the
environsofMayfair are seeking to
make themselves relevant to a new
generation. Kent & Curwen, for
instance, has regatta ties to Eton
College and Cambridge University
boating teams, as well as other sporting
institutions. Today, that heritage
hasbeen acknowledged, butgiven
acontemporary feel. Thereare vintagestyle rugby shirts insoft, washed
cottons featuring the brands English
Rose and Three Lions emblems
thelatter, by good fortune, is also one
associated with Beckham as well
assharply cut crombie coats, navy
peacoats with lambswool collars, and
rugged plaid jackets alongside the more

obvious cricket sweaters and blazers

with subtle regatta stripes.
Beckham, who introduced the
collection to the press and buyers
before handing over to the designer
totalk through individual items,
wasimpressive. A condent 41,
hesunrecognisable from the young
footballer who spoke softly and burned
himself on sunbeds. And in those
years, Beckham has gone from
someone who got sniggered at for
trying out new trends head-to-toe
leathers, sarongs, hairbands to
someone who now sets trends.
Despite his fame, wealth and wife,
at some point Beckham got real.
Welook at him and know that he both
chose and likes what hes wearing;
wesee a man who has some fun (he was
bravely disguising a hangover from his
best friends birthday party the night
before), and someone who grew
comfortable with himself. In an age
when so much that surrounds us is
born from insincerity, someone who is
genuine becomes ever more attractive.
If Beckham can run a brand as well
ashe runs himself, he could have
another hit on his hands (or feet).

Getty | See Stockists page for details

Seventeen years ago, when I was

working at The Sunday Times, I got
acall from an agency representing
David Beckham. Would it be possible,
they asked, to photograph and
interview the midelder and put
himon the cover of Style magazine?
Sure, we said, without hesitation.
This wasnt long after the
incidentduring the 1998 World Cup
whenBeckham was sent o for
intentionally tripping Argentinas
Diego Simeone. The agents were now
busily orchestrating a public relations
campaign as well as repositioning the
footballers style credentials. Another
mens magazine had promised to put
him on the cover and then, at the last
minute, decided to only give him
a single page inside so we needed
to publish our feature before theirs.
On the evening of the shoot,
Beckham came straight to the studio
from the airport; wife Victoria turned
up with a tiny baby Brooklyn in her
arms. Becks, who was charming if shy,
apologised for appearing rather red
hed fallen asleep on the sunbed
earlier and burned himself.
We put him in a striking red
leatherjacket, styled his hair into an
enormous qui, and were good to go.
The following Sunday we published the
story, the next Monday the images
appeared in almost every other
newspaper in the country, and
everyone was happy. Except for the
other mens magazines, of course.
Seventeen years later, our paths
crossed again. Not so long ago,
Beckham took myself and a few
colleagues through the rst collection
of the relaunched Kent & Curwen

Style / Gear

Physical engineering
Six superior gadgets to move your workout through the gears

The exercise bike

If youve ever owned a traditional
exercise bike youll know that theyre
particularly good for drying clothes
on. But the Ciclotte a high-design,
Italian-made, mono-wheel exercise
bike is one piece of home gym
equipment youll be pleased to put to
proper use. Crafted from super-light
carbon fibre and steel, this Ciclotte
comes complete with an electro
magnetic resistance system that
replicates the feeling of the road
under the wheels.
POA, ciclotte.com

80

Style / Gear

The trainers
Dubbed by Under Armour as
thesmartest shoes ever made, the
SpeedForm Gemini 2 Record might
just live up to the hype. An embedded
chip tracks running-related metric
from workout time to stride length.
Data is uploaded via Bluetooth
toUnder Armours MapMyRun
app,where you can view your stats.
130, underarmour.co.uk

The sunglasses
Featuring an in-built, voice-activated
coaching system, Oakleys Radar
Pace sunglasses will study workouts,
respond to queries and provide realtime training delivered via earbuds
inthe arms. Much like a real life PT,
the glasses hold you to a programme
andchart your progress, which you
canfollow on the Radar Pace app.
400, uk.oakley.com

The wristband
Boasting a touch-sensitive display
four times bigger than the Charge HR,
the Fitbit Charge 2 monitors heart rate,
exercise data, estimated VO2 max
and personal profile to calculate your
fitness. Its multi-sport mode tracks
specific exercises to show workout
stats, while a mindfulness feature
coaches breathing to alleviate stress.
130, fitbit.com

The headphones
Apples wireless headphones just
got an upgrade. Simply charge the
Powerbeats3 for five minutes to get
an hour of continuous playback fully
charged will give you 12 hours. A
smarter Bluetooth connection allows
you to play music, take calls and
interact with Siri, plus the headsets
are now sweat- and water-resistant.
170, apple.com

The camera
If your idea of a great workout is
anywhere but the gym, why not
capture, then share, all of your
adventures with the newest GoPro
Hero5 Black? As well as possessing
hands-free and voice control, this
4K Ultra HD video and 12MP photo
GoPro is waterproof to 10m. It also
connects to Wi-Fi and GPS.
350, shop.gopro.com

Photographs by Rowan Fee

81

Esquire / Promotion

1.

1. BeoVision Horizon television

The golden age of TV deserves an equally impressive screen, whether youre
into Game of Thrones or Bake Off. Powered by the Android TV platform and
with 40in or 48in screens, the new BeoVision Horizon TV does away with
having tochoose between audio fidelity and 4K LED visuals, packing both into
its compact, adaptable frame perfect for wall mounting, or on the wheeled and
floor stands both with 360 rotation to ensure you dont miss a single scene.

82

Esquire / Promotion

The new
sound of
freedom
The flexible living range, new from
Bang & Olufsen, introduces cutting
edge technology to your home

2.

3.

Freedom, simplicity, exibility and mobility.

Not much to ask from your home set-up, is it? Yet
it can be dicult to nd the perfect combination
of all four when upgrading your technology.
Thankfully, with over 90 years of experience in
crafting the nest high-delity sounds and the
crispest imagery, Bang & Olufsen has never
stopped innovating, as is evident in its latest
oerings: the BeoVision Horizon TV and the
BeoSound 1 & 2 Wireless Speaker System.
Whatever your way of life, you need tech that
not only keeps up but sets new standards of
adaptability and reliability. A home set-up that
performs as highly and eciently as you do, with
the same exibility, whether youre entertaining
colleagues or sitting back in front of abox set.
Forget tinny speakers and low-grade digital
streaming. Forget stuttering Wi-Fi connections
and interrupted playlists. Homes are for living
in, and tech should t seamlessly with that. No
more centring the sofa around the television. No
more going out of your way to make that
expensive new speaker bar t in with your decor.
Yes, movies are made for big screens with proper
sound. And music does sound better if you can
hear the dierence between the high-hat and the
bass guitar. Bang & Olufsen understand this and
understand that your home set-up shouldnt be
scenery dressing, but a seamless addition to both
your schedule, and your style. We like that a lot.
Book a demo before 31 December 2016 at your
nearest store to be entered into a draw to win
aBeoSound 1. Find your nearest retailer at
bang-olufsen.com/en/nd-store

2/3. BeoSound 1 & 2 Wireless Speaker System

Whether youre old school with a vinyl collection or look to Spotify for your
playlists, you can listen to the music you love for longer thanks to the BeoSound
1s 16-hour battery life. Portable and wireless, the BeoSound 1 is designed to
enhance your listening experience, while the larger BeoSound 2 boasts added
power to produce an immersive, room-filling sound. Both wirelessly connect
with other Bang & Olufsen BeoLink Multiroom kit for audio perfection.

Photograph by Ed Reeve

83

Style / Fashion

Clicking
clever
Four smart online
wardrobe services
tailored to your life

Halstock
Wardrobes

If youve seen American Gigolo,

youll recall Richard Geres
Armani-centric dress sense, but
do you remember his wardrobe?
Drawers of ties and folded shirts,
and rails of suits. Having clothes
categorised and easy-to-reach
makes getting dressed a pleasure.
Dressing rooms are not just about
finding what you want quickly, says
Richard Miller of bespoke interiors
company Halstock, they are about
having a space that feels personal
and reflects your individuality. The
old adage, A place for everything
and everything in its place makes
perfect sense in this instance.

From 40,000,
halstock.com

84

Elton John in the

dressingroom at his
home, BeverlyHills, 1975

Vault
Couture
None of us likes packing away
summer garb for the woolly heft of
a winter wardrobe. Now, you can
make that seasonal break easier
with Vault Couture. It will collect
your out-of-season pieces, store
them in its climate-controlled,
air-purified, museum-secure
warehouse, document and
photograph them and set up
avirtual wardrobe you can peruse
at will. Create looks, get styling
tips its in-house tailors can even
alter your clothes. Items can be
retrieved any time, so if you need
that shirt for a late trip to the
Azores, its only a few clicks away.

From 2 a month,
vaultcouture.com

Vestiaire
Collective

At Esquire, weve never especially

championed buying pre-loved,
until, that was, we heard about
Vestiaire Collective, a web
marketplace stocking more than
300,000 luxury pieces from
collections past and present all
checked and authenticated. Aside
from possibly supplying that piece
youve always been looking for,
Vestiaire Collective is the place to
also shift those wardrobe lingerers
you never wear, but cant bear to
throw away. With a community of
4musers, youre bound to find
someone who wants that couture
argyle sweater you bought in 2002.

vestiairecollective.com

I Hate
Ironing
All the storage solutions,
alterations and trade-ins are for
naught if you dont care for your
clothes. Schlepping down the high
street with a sack of dry cleaning is
a pain, so let I Hate Ironing do it.
Viaits app, arrange for clothes to
be collected, dry cleaned (or
laundered), pressed and returned
to you in as little as eight hours.
Every garment is inspected by a
master cleaner before return, and
its same-day service even runs on
Saturday. All clothes are insured,
and its delivery drivers are dry
cleaning experts. Your Sunday best
has never been in better hands.

Minimum order 20,

ihateironing.com

Illustrations by Tobatron

Terry ONeill

So youve nally achieved

it the core wardrobe is in
place. Crew-neck knits, snowwhite T-shirts, oxford-collared
shirts,underwear, outerwear,
excellent denim, shrewdly
curated accessories, an arsenal
of impeccable shoes and boots,
suits for every occasion and
afew special statement pieces.
Now all you have to do is keep
it all organised; to do so, simply
consult the Esquire guide to
wardrobe management using
these innovative internet
companies. May your clothes
never be dirty or creased again.

Style / Fashion

Stuart Vevers
red-eyecityguide
48hours in London and New York

London

Driving fashion forward

Coach creative director Stuart Vevers talks design inspiration,
vintage style and, er, dinosaurs to Teo van den Broeke

Eat: St John is my favourite restaurant;

I love the bar as well. The menu changes
a lot, Ive tried some pretty unusual
things there and Ive always enjoyed it.
They do a really good cheese sandwich
in the bar. stjohngroup.uk.com
Drink: Dukes hotel bar in Mayfair for
amartini. dukeshotel.com
Shop: Selfridges. selfridges.com
Sleep: The St Pancras Hotel and
Chiltern Firehouse. stpancraslondon.
com; chilternfirehouse.com

A glance through the list of previous

employers of Stuart Vevers, the softly
spoken but loudly acclaimed British
creative director of American luxury
brand Coach, is a bit like icking
through the front bank of ads in
amagazine like this one. Since starting
out in 1996, he has worked for Calvin
Klein, Bottega Veneta, Givenchy,
Louis Vuitton, Mulberry and Loewe.
(He has lived and worked in London,
New York, Milan, Paris and Madrid:
no wonder he needs so many bags.)

Head coach:
Vevers (top)
designed a new
line of mens
bags for AW 16

It was with Mulberry that his name

began to be known outside fashion
circles. He was instrumental in the
transformation of that labels fortunes
in the mid-Noughties, when it was
making the It-bags of the moment.
Vevers tenure at Loewe was equally
fruitful and admired, so it was no
surprise when, in 2013, he was poached
by Coach to inject some contemporary
vitality into an established label in need
of a shot of design adrenaline. Over the
past three years, hes done just that.

I guess Ive always wanted Coach

toapproach the idea of luxury in
adierent way, in an American way,
Vevers says. Ive spent a lot of my
career in traditional European luxury.
With Coach I was like, What makes
America dierent? What can make
Coach dierent? And I think its that
itshould be cool, you know, American
style is about being cool. So, that was
areally important starting point for
me, Ijust wanted everything we did
tohave that feeling.
This month, Vevers a
Yorkshireman from a straight forward,
working-class family returns to
Britain for the opening of Coachs
newagship store on Londons Regent
Street. Its opening falls neatly with
thebrands 75thanniversary
anotherreason for Veversto celebrate.
The Regent Street store, with our
new store on Fifth Avenue, ismuch
bigger than anything else we have in
the world. Whats really exciting is
Igetto present a full assortment [of
product], Vevers says. We also have
lots of unique services and special
capsule collections that weve done
for Regent Street. Weve got some

87

>

Style / Fashion

customised varsity jackets and a few

biker jackets.
In addition to the stores
Craftsmanship bar (where bags can
bemonogrammed), and the Made-toOrder bar (where its possible to make
unique varsity patch rogue bags),
expect to nd the entirety of Coachs
autumn/winter 2016 collection. A mix
of workwear pieces, Seventies New York
hip-hop references, high octane
Americana anda dash of classic Euro
luxury, its Vevers most desirable
collection yet. Densely textured
shearling overcoats rub comfortably
alongside classic leather biker jackets,
capacious bucket hats andhefty
climbing boots.
We talked a lot about blue-collar
this season, Vevers says. The show
setwas quite referential to a building
site, you know, the girders you see
whena New York building rst goes up.
The[other inspiration was], a book
I love called Back in the Days; I guess
it was pre-hip-hop, or a very, very
earlystate of hip-hop, and it was just
photographs of New York City. There
was a certain amboyance to the way

We talked a lot about blue

collar; the show set was
referential to a building site
that outts were being put together,
and there was a certain use of colour.
Iwas inspired bythe idea ofpeople
using things that are very readily
accessible to create a look. Iwas
intrigued by that.
And does Vevers have a secret
recipe for producing a collection?
Alot of ithas to be instinct, its about
asking questions, doing research,
trying to getyour head into the DNA
of the company, but atsome point
you just have to go with your gut,
gowith something that feels right.
Which explains Rexy, the brands
new Tyrannosaurus Rex mascot
whichadorns many of this seasons
key pieces. Its got nothing to do
with Coachs story, Vevers laughs.
Itshonestlyjust a random image
Ifoundreallyappealing!
uk.coach.com

Stuart Vevers
red-eyecityguide
48hours in London and New York

New York
Eat: The Waverly Inn in the West Village,
where I live. Its like a canteen, really cosy
with an open fire. It feels like old-school New
York, lots of character. waverlynyc.com
Drink: The Greenwich Hotel bar for a
glass of red wine. thegreenwichhotel.com
Shop: Obviously Coach! Otherwise,
Opening Ceremony. Theres always
something fun and cool.
openingceremony.com
Sleep: The High Line Hotel, I stayed there
when I first went to New York, its quite
charming. thehighlinehotel.com

Five key Coach items for AW 16

Selected by Stuart Vevers

Burgundy leather sneakers, 275

Brown shearling coat, 2,050

88

Black cashmere sweater, 550

Burgundy/black leather key ring, 135

Black leather tote bag, 650

Style / Drinks

Roll out
thebarrels
Whiskys old dogs learn new tricks
trythis years new single malts
01

02

05

04

03

Words by Rachel Fellows

Whisky wonderland
01
Glen Grant 18 Years
Rare Edition
(43 per cent ABV)

Glen Grant this year

released its first
18-year-old whisky.
Matured exclusively in
oak former-bourbon
barrels, its light, floral
and very buttery.
110, thewhisky
exchange.com

02
Lagavulin
Eight-Year-Old
(48 per cent ABV)

To celebrate its 200th

birthday, Lagavulin has
released this eightyear-old batch. It has a
perfectly smoky punch
of peat typical of Islay
malts in a calmer and
decidedly classy style.
53, malts.com

Photograph by William Bunce

03
Glenfiddich IPA
Experiment
(43 per cent ABV, NAS)

Whod have thought it

a single malt matured
in India Pale Ale
barrels? But dont fear,
the tangy hops merely
add a jot of zest to
thealluringly gentle
Speyside flavour.
45, tesco.com

04
The Dalmore
Quintessence
(45 per cent ABV, NAS)

After a spell in formerbourbon barrels, this

then spent five years
split among casks that
had contained five
different Californian red
wines. The warm fruit
flavours are a real treat.
1,000, selfridges.com

05
The Glenlivet Cipher
(45 per cent ABV, NAS)

The bottle displays no

tasting notes, no age,
no cask details the
challenge is to test your
palate by using the
interactive flavour
wheel online at cipher.
theglenlivet.com.
90, thewhisky
exchange.com

Black Rock, EC2

A subterranean venue
with a 185-year-old,
6moak tree trunk split
down the middle as the
bar centrepiece. Its
drinks menu draws on
250 bottles from around
the world to appeal
tonovices and
connoisseurs alike.
blackrock.bar

91

Style / Fitness

Race you to the top

As extreme workouts become run of the mill, Harry Jameson
targets four alternative challenges for adventurous types only

Great Wall Marathon

Tianjin Province, China, 20 May 2017

Norfolk Superhero

Marathon du Mdoc

HellRunner

Burnham, England, 17 June 2017

Bordeaux, France, 9 September 2017

Hampshire, England, 14 January 2017

The training: Practise

allfour disciplines
equally. When
itcomes to
kayaking
preparation,

94

head to the gym to nail lat

pulldowns, dumbbell
presses and tricep dips.
The kit: Good gear makes
all the difference here.
Pinarellos Dogma F8 will
make the cycling section
a whole lot easier. 8,000,
thebikerooms.com

The challenge: This

wonderful event combines
the passions of running,
wine and cheese tasting to
delicious and exhausting
effect. (Yes, you actually
eat and drink throughout
the course of the
marathon.) Although this
particular race is not taken
super seriously by
entrants, preparation
is still key. marathon
dumedoc.com
The training:
Enter one or two
(booze-free)

build-up races start

offwith a 10km run then
complete a half marathon
so your body grows
accustomed to longdistance running. But
overloading on wine and
cheese is optional...
The kit: With gel
cushioning and Trusstic
System propulsion tech,
Asics Gel Quantum 360
trainers are up to the task.
160, asics.
com

The challenge: Tough

Mudder might have
cornered the market,
but it has only provided
a benchmark against
which other assaultcourse challenges can
measure themselves. At
HellRunner, the obstacles
are meaner, the terrain
trickier and because its
in January its a whole
lot colder, dont forget.
hellrunner.co.uk
The training:
Bodyweight strength
is essential for these

challenges, so make
useof that pull-up bar.
Startoff with 2-5 sets
of10 reps with the aim of
increasing your workload.
Run 1km inbetween sets
to incorporate some
much-needed cardio.
The kit: You will need to
keep warm and protect
those knees. New
Balances Accelerate
Tights are just the thing;
the sleek woven fabric
isdesigned to keep the
chilloff the legs. 30,
newbalance.co.uk

Getty

The challenge: A 1.6km

open-water swim, 6.4km
kayak, 72.5km cycle ride
and then a killer 12.8km
run over sand, mud and
marshland that saps the
last bits of energy right
out of you. Tougher but
alittle more fun than
youraverage triathlon.
norfolksuperhero.co.uk

Style / Fashion

The pack is
back on track

ESQUIRE
RECOMMENDS

Hearst Studios | See Stockists page for details

The most utilitarian mens bag

restyled and revived

Right now, menswear designers are leaping on clothes

designed towork as hard as they look good; Pradas autumn/
winter 2016 show featured peacoats nished with durable
denim elbow patches and carabiner-style security keychains,
while at Louis Vuitton, Kim Jones sent out an army of bovver
boot-shod models.
One item you should denitely be investing in this season,
however, isa new, upgraded backpack. The best place to go is
Givenchy, where creative director Riccardo Tisci has pulled
out all the stops, producing countless styles from fringecoated pieces to fur-covered versions and even packs printed
with images of Jesus Christ. Shown above is our favourite
item from the AW 16 collection, as functional as it is stylish.

Photograph by Benedict Morgan

Red/black canvas-leather
backpack, 1,335, by
Givenchy by Riccardo
Tisci, givenchy.com

Got your back:

three more
prime packs

1 | Navy leather,
320, by Piquadro
2 | Navy nylon-quilt,
1,010, byPrada
3 | Blue nylon,
325, by
StoneIsland

99

Style / Grooming

Gyan
Interpreting the blue
sapphire, Cavallier
hasmarried woody
Indonesian patchouli
with jasmine sambac
creating an
absolutely gigantic
olfactory dimension.
215/100ml

Rock stars
Unearth Bulgaris latest
collection ofscintillating scents

Onekh
The malacenis oud
used in Onekh is
leathery and spicy,
but sweetness
ismaintained
through the use of
saffron andhoney.
215 /100ml

See Stockists page for details

Garanat
Inspired by the bright
redalmandine garnet,
Garanat has rose
atits base but is kept
masculine with the
depthand spice of
pure smoked incense.
215/100ml

Photograph by Owen Silverwood

Bulgari is known best for its ne Italian jewellery and

watches, so its no surprise the houses new range of mens
fragrances takes inspiration from precious rocks. Created
bymaster perfumer Jacques Cavallier, each of the fragrances
inthe Le Gemme collection is based on a dierent stone.
Onekh,for example, is inspired by the black gemstone onyx,
soCavallier placed oud at its heart. Just like oud, he says,
black onyx is characterised by density, power, mystery and
appeal. Thecollection is six strong, but only three Garanat,
Gyan and Onekh have been released for now. For Ambero,
Malakeos and Tygar, youll just have to wait until spring.

103

Style / Fashion

Plastic kimono band:

Beatles John and
Ringo rock the trad
look in Tokyo, 1966

Its a wraparound
Although theres been
alot of talk about the
current kimono trend
inthe world of menswear,
thereality is there werent
thatmany traditional
Japanese robes sent down
the autumn/winter 2016
runways. What there were
plenty of, however, was
wraparound and belted
cardigans, jackets and outer
layers. Cosy, easy-wearing
cocoons worn as eortlessly
with suits as they are with
more casual pieces, these
garments will perfectly
partner any outt. So, to
getyou on-trend, weve
picked out three of the
nest wraparounds and
how best to wear them
wherever you are in the
world (Japan included).

104

A weekend away

Night out

Cold weather

Berlutis chunky cashmere piece is like

a dressing gown, only better. Team
with jeans and trainers not slippers.

Black cashmere kimono, 1,880,

byBerluti. Grey cotton T-shirt, 75, by
Margaret Howell. Sand-wash denim
jeans, 175, by Sandro. White/floral
print leather sneakers, 460, by Gucci

Layer this thinner style from Topman

beneath your suit jacket. Keep things
black or grey for a smart-casual look.

Grey viscose blazer, 60; black cotton

belted cardigan, 35; white cotton
shirt, 40; grey cotton trousers, 50,
all by Topman. Black leather shoes,
175, by Russell & Bromley

This silk martial arts jacket by Craig

Green is slim through the shoulders
and loose across the chest and waist.

Green silk jacket, 760, by CraigGreen.

White cable-knit jumper, 595, by
Pringle of Scotland. Navy wool
trousers, 145, by YMC. White Chuck
Taylor hi-tops, 60, by Converse

Getty | Hearst Studios | See Stockists page for details

Belted jackets are a thing. But no need to go the full kimono

Esquire / Promotion

Look cool,
stay warm
Clarks rugged boots are built to beat winter
When it comes to footwear, the return of winter means
only one thing boots. Whether you opt for a pair of this
seasons key commando-sole styles or youre more a work
boot man, the rules remain the same: good boots should
keep your feet dry, your uppers out of puddles and be
chunky enough to see you through many winters.
Synonymous with British quality, 191-year-old shoe
manufacturer Clarks has unveiled an unsurprisingly wellmade collection of boots for autumn/winter 2016. The
tobacco leather Korik Rise GTX, for instance, features
awaterproof and breathable Gore-Tex membrane, while
theSawtel Hi boasts contrasting canvas panels and agaitmapping footbed for extra cushioning good for both
wetweather and more serious city pursuits.
Teamed with a pair of classic denim jeans or with
more pared-back, workwear-inspired tailoring, the new
boot collection from Clarks is your new winter go-to.
For more information, visit clarks.co.uk

1.

2.

2.

3.

Look 1 Grey wool jacket, 250; grey/navy wool cardigan, 150, both by YMC. White cotton long
sleeved T-shirt, 55, by Les Basics. Indigo judo pants, 170, by Oliver Spencer. Tan leather Sawtel Hi
boots, 90, by Clarks Look 2 Navy striped wool overshirt, 150; navy wool trapeze knit jumper, 95,
both by Whistles. Blue denim 599 jeans, 90, by Levis. Tan leather Sawtel Hi boots, 90, by Clarks
Look 3 Navy cotton textured jacket, 290, by Folk. Charcoal merino knit polo shirt, 110, by Whistles.
Navy cotton textured trousers, 175, by Folk. Tobacco leather Korik Rise GTX boots, 110, by Clarks

106

Photographs by Mattias Bjrklund

Style / News

Your month in menswear

Zenith and Range Rover get hitched, Paul Smith puts pen
topaper,Club Monaco advances, Alfred Dunhill lights up

01
Zenith x Range Rover
Watch celebrates icons anniversaries

/
Luxury watches and cars have a natural connection: both
require complex engineering, and leading brands from both
industries have picked up on this anity. Hublot has produced
timepieces with Ferrari, Breitling with Bentley, and Bremont
with Jaguar. Themost recent collaboration is Swiss marque
Zenith and Britains Range Rover, with the El Primero Range
Rover Special Edition the rst fruit of the deal. The chronograph
features a super-light ceramised aluminium case, a sleek slate
grey dial and driving glove-style perforated calfskin strap.
The watch is the brainchild of Zenith CEO Jean-Claude
Biver and the design director of Land Rover, Gerry McGovern.
Ithought he was an impressive guy, Biver says ofMcGovern.
Ithoughthed achieved something extraordinary. I believe the
renaissance of Range Rover was down to him. The rst Range
Rover and the rst Zenith El Primero both launched in 1969,
Biver says. Neither products have changed, just little facelifts. I
thought we both have an iconic product and wanted to see how
we could partner. We now have the rst visible product of our
partnership; there might be more, exciting products soon.

El Primero Range
Rover Special Edition
chronograph, 6,400,
by Zenith x
RangeRover

Olive bomber
jacket, 195;
beige fleece,
110, both by
Penfield
Calligrapher
sunglasses, 200;
opticals, 200,
both by Persol

02
Peneld AW 16

03
Persol Calligrapher Edition

East Coast coats from former Musto master

Supreme spectacles by ingenious Italians

This year marks a new era for Massachusetts-based outdoor clothing

brand Penfield. For autumn/winter 2016, its stepped things up, both
in terms of aesthetic and functionality. Pieces such as the Vanleer
bomber (down-filled, super-lightweight) and the Lexington parka (ultradurable shell fabric, water-resistant, breathable) are fine examples of
its new technically conscious direction. A cleaner, more street-inspired
look has been picked up on, too see the Carson fleece jacket for
evidence and its all down to new creative director Simon Oates, who
has made the leap from sailing-clothing company Musto. So its safe
toassume that he knows a thing or two about delivering on function.

In light of the recent success of Persols Typewriter Edition, the eyewear

company based in Agordo, north of Venice, has decided to continue in
aliterary vein with its new Calligrapher Edition, which takes the effortless,
elegantly curved nature of the technique as inspiration. The frames are
super-lightweight thanks to a construction that mixes metal and acetate,
with the latter in colourways taken from the extensive Persol archives. There
are two shapes in the capsule collection both available as optical glasses
and sunglasses with one slightly squarer than the other, but each has
its merits. Personally, wed choose the PO3166S sunglasses in black with
gunshot-grey temples and polarised green lenses, but thats just us.

>

107

Style / News

04
Club Monaco
x Cookson
&Clegg
eldjacket
Joint forces operation
for military styling

/
Modern menswear owes
agreat debt to military
clothing. For the rank
and file, the focus was
on economy, hardiness,
comfort and efficiency, and
one of the best examples
is the cotton field jacket
the ultimate piece of battleborn utility wear. To create
its latest field jacket, Club
Monaco enlisted Blackburnbased Cookson & Clegg
a factory which had a rich
history of producing military
uniforms for the British
Army, dating back to WWI.
Designed in partnership
with E Tautzs Patrick
Grant, the resulting jacket
is as timelessly stylish as
you could hope it to be.

Olive green
cotton field
jacket, 425, by
Club Monaco
xCookson
&Clegg

Blue leather Feren

slip-ons, 75;
black leather Feren
lace-ups, 75;
black leather Swinley
Cap lace-ups, 95,
allbyClarks

Rubberised
raincoats: navy,
275; yellow, 225,
both by Hunter
Original Core

06
Hunter Original Core collection
Storm-proof coats with added welly

/
Much more than just exceptionally good rubber boots, Hunter
Original has been making a successful foray into apparel over
recent years, and the new foul-weather-ready Core collection
is a prime example. Our pick? One of the rubber raincoats.
But wed plump for the three-layer cotton hunting coat, too.

07
Caran dAche x Paul Smith
Designer brings signature style to ballpoint pen

/
If youre keen on good stationery but dont want to waltz around
town with a fountain pen in your breast pocket, consider Caran
dAches ballpoint collaboration with Paul Smith. A handsome
melding of form and function, theyre available in 10 typically Smithy
colours. Worth writing home about, right? 849 ballpoint, 35 each

05
Black Edit by Clarks
High street stalwarts new
collection goes chic and noir
The new Black Edit is as contemporary
a collection as Clarks has ever created.
The Feren Slip, for example, is cool
andmodern, while the rounded
toeand hefty sole of the Feren mirrors
the chunky derbys stomping up
and down catwalks for the past few
seasons. The quality, though, is where
the Black Edit wins; each shoe is made
from premium leathers and shaped
on a hand-carved wooden last.
Ifamix of craftsmanship and comfort
is your thing, then look no further.

108

08
Alfred Dunhill smoking jacket
Luxurious evening wear thats a cut above

/
For this party season, invest in Dunhills faded salmon (yep, its
a colour) smoking jacket, in the finest Japanese cotton velvet.
Timeless glamour in soft velvet pile is yours for 1,490.

Hearst Studios | See Stockists page for details

Style / Travel
1

Cape Town
crusader
South Africas One&Only resort teams
big city fun with poolside sun

from the chilly Northern Hemisphere this

winter, its worth considering South Africa
as a destination. In particular Cape Town,
with its spectacular coastlines and
mountainous views, complemented by
plentiful sunshine, bountiful vineyards
anda thriving metropolitan buzz.
Right in the epicentre of the city sits the
One&Only Cape Town hotel, nestled into
the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront area
ahub of art, craft and design, alongside
abundant dining and high-end shopping.
The incomparable Table Mountain looms
on one side with views across the bay on the
other out to Robben Island (infamous, yes,
but well worth a boat-trip visit).
Ideally located for any urban activities
that might tempt you, the luxurious hotel
can equally provide a green oasis from city
bustle with its innity pool and cabanas,
thecalming private island spa and Clifton
Beach nearby it really does oer the
bright lights of downtown out the front
doorwith a beach resort out the back.
Sta can ensure you get a full taste of
South African culture, with personalised art
tours of the city led by respected artist and
collector Joo Ferreira.
oneandonlyresorts.com; BA ies direct and
daily to Cape Town, britishairways.com

110

01
The heated,
infinity-edged
swimming pool

Esquire recommends
Eating in Cape Town

02
The view fromthe
bathroomof
theTable
Mountain suite
03
The resorts
Nobu restaurant

The Pot Luck Club

This popular restaurant sits atop The
Old Biscuit Mills silo, boasting anew
perspective on the city. The open
kitchen creates inventive tapas-style
dishes in five flavour categories: salty,
umami, sweet, bitter and sour.
Booking recommended.
thepotluckclub.co.za

Drinking
Steenberg Wine Estate

The oldest farm in the Cape,

Steenberg is at the foot of the
picturesque Constantia wine route.
Itsbest known for its white varietals,
ideal in the warm weather and for
scenic pre-prandial snifters.
steenbergfarm.com

Outdoor activity
Climb Lions Head
Topping Table Mountain goes without
saying, but this smaller mound next
door can be climbed in about 90mins
with the novelty of chains and rope
ladders along the way. Moonlit hikes
starting at sunset are a favourite; the
views are spectacular at any time.

Words by Rachel Fellows

If youre seeking a warm weather respite

Esquire / Promotion

Inside track
It may be party season, but its
easyto stay focused on your
fitnessgoals with TomTom Sports
Fitting your exercise regime into a busy schedule
is easy in the summer the days are long, the
nights are warm and the sun gives you a regular
boost of serotonin. Come winter, and as motivation
drops and the party season picks up, that morning
run or evening gym session can seem a whole lot
tougher. How to stay focused? Esquires personal
trainer Harry Jameson has ve tips that should do
the trick, with a little help from the TomTom Touch.
1. Stay goal orientated
A lack of progression is one of the main reasons
people give up on their tness regime. You should
be challenging yourself to go outside your comfort
zone. Book a 10k run, a marathon or an adventure
race the TomTom Touch keeps detailed records
of your physical improvement, leaving you less
inclined to want to skip sessions.

2. Track your progress

Monitoring your tness levels, including body fat,
muscle percentage and calories burned, using the
TomTom Touch tracker is a great way to set daily
goals. Rather than always looking too far ahead,
the Touch helps you hit daily milestones, so you
getasense of achievement every single day.

3. Invest in good kit

Yes, you can exercise in jogging bottoms and an old
band T-shirt, but youll nd it a lot easier (and look
alot cooler) if you go out and get some new kit thats
cut from actual technical fabrics. And remember
that all tness trackers are not made equal the
Touch is a superior all-rounder.

Right: brown suede

jacket, 375, by Reiss.
Navy cotton polo shirt,
275, by John Smedley.
Navy wool pants, 145,
byYMC. Brown leather
shoes, 490, by
Crockett& Jones.
Below, left: blue
polyester T-shirt, 33;
navy polyester shorts
30; black polyester
tights 33; white Ultra
Boost trainers, 130,
allbyAdidas.
Below, right: white
cotton hooded jacket,
65, by Adidas. Touch
fitness tracker, 129,
byTomTom Sports

4. Find the time

If youve got a party planned for the evening,
make sure you burn some calories during the
day. Whether its a HIIT class in the morning, a
run at lunch or a mini calisthenics session before
you put your tux on, even the smallest workout
tracked using your TomTom Touch will
keepyou feeling t and fresh.

5. Eat right
Even if youre not planning on working out till after
work, a good breakfast (porridge, fruit, whole grain
toast) helps keep energy levels up throughout the
day. Keep lunch relatively light too, so you dont
face a sugar-slump in the afternoon.
Visit tomtom.com/tness-tracker

112

Photographs by Neil Bedford

Dan McAlister

TURNING HEADS AT ALL GOOD NEWSAGENTS NOW

Edited by MIRANDA COLLINGE

Culture
FILM / MUSIC / BOOKS / TELEVISION / ART

The must-watch list

TEN MOVIES YOULL NEED TO SEE OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. IN THE ACTUAL CINEMA

Take two: Emma Stone

and Ryan Gosling pair
up in La La Land, one of
Esquires recommended
winter releases

>

115

Culture

Yes we know the cinema is expensive these days, but no you cant just wait till this lot are out
on Sky Box Oce or DVD. Some pieces of lm-making require a big screen to do them justice,
whether its for the lushness of cinematography or the intensity of the performances, or
thefact that theyre happening now, for all assembled, and you cant nip into the kitchen for
a Horlicks top-up half-way through. Plus, its the time of year when really good lms come out,
all plump and ready for awards season, so if ever there was a time to venture out, this is it.
Heres what to see.

Theres also a little film called Rogue One: A Star Wars Story out on 16 December, but were going to assume youve already been tipped off about that one

1 | NOCTURNAL ANIMALS
Out now
Tom Ford likes his movies as he likes his
clothes: slick, sleek and surprising. Coming
seven years after his debut, A Single Man, this
one is more than worth the wait (and to be
fair, hes had some other things on, such as
running his eponymous fashion empire).
It seems, at rst, to be set in a gilded world,
examining the troubled relationship between
art dealer Susan (Amy Adams) and her
husband (Armie Hammer). However, when
Susan is given the manuscript for a novel that
her ex-husband, Edward (Jake Gyllenhaal), is
writing, and starts to read it, a very gritty and
grisly subplot begins to unfurl, which has
profound consequences, both visceral and
symbolic, for all involved.

Must-see rating:

2 | AMERICAN PASTORAL

3 | SULLY

Out on 11 November
American Pastoral was always the lm
thatcouldnt be made, despite crying out to
be.Philip Roths Pulitzer Prize-winning
1997novel about a family torn apart by
adaughters extreme political aliations (or
were the seeds of destruction already sown?)
has been in development purgatory for at
least 10 years. Now it nally comes into
existence courtesy of Ewan McGregor,
who both stars as Swede Levov, the former
high school sports star and paterfamilias,
and also directs the lm following the
departure of Phillip Noyce. Be it cinematic
epic or epic fail, the attempt at least is worthy
of attention.

Must-see rating:

Out on 2 December
You remember Sully, right? White moustache,
goofy smile, landed a plane on the Hudson
River that time, saving the lives of all on
board? Well if you dont, allow director Clint
Eastwood to remind you, in this rootin
tootin all right, shriekin freakin
recreation of the famous feat pulled o by
Captain Chesley Sullenberger III at the helm
of US Airways Flight 1549 on 15 January
2009, and a somewhat monkeyed-aroundwith version of what happened after,
involving intransigent safety-obsessed
bureaucrats who wanted to take the shine o
Sullys heroism. And who do you get to play
the crinkly eyed crusader? Tom Hanks, silly!

Must-see rating:

117

>

4 | ARRIVAL
7
Out on 10 November
Amy Adams seems to be many a directors
favourite actress just now, perhaps because
she looks so unbelievably sweet and
American and marketable and yet has an
acting range that is far more expansive than
that. This time, Denis Villeneuve has cast
heras an interpreter who seems to be the
onlyperson with a chance of discerning
theintentions of some alien visitors who
havearrived on Earth in what looks like
agiganticblack contact lens. Extraterrestrial
invasionswill always be a eld thats ripe for
intrigueand imagination, but in an age of
heightenedhysteria about immigration, the
gurative resonance of the topic is stronger
than ever.

Must-see rating:

5 | MANCHESTER BY THE SEA

6 | ALLIED

7 | BILLY LYNNS LONG HALFTIME WALK

Out on 13 January
Casey Aeck smaller, weirder brother
ofBen was born to play emotionally
stunted blue-collar workers from snowy
NewEngland towns. So its no surprise that
hes mesmerising in this quiet masterpiece,
written and directed by Kenneth Lonergan,
about a lonely janitor who, following the
death of his brother, nds himself in charge
of his teenage nephew, Patrick (Lucas
Hedges). It sounds cheesy but is anything
but, as the two negotiate the new terms of
their relationship, which are uncomfortable
and unsatisfactory for both, but for dierent,
heart-wrenching reasons. Yet there are jokes,
too. As lms go, you couldnt ask for more.

Must-see rating:

Out on 25 November
We are assuming that Angelina Jolie wont
be the rst person in the queue for tickets to
see Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard as Second
World War assassins who meet and fall in
love in North Africa while on a mission to
kill a dastardly German. (Or actually, it turns
out that one of them might be a double agent,
so maybe Angelina will be attending after
all.) Allied, which also stars Jared Harris,
isdirected by Robert Zemeckis (Back to the
Future, Forrest Gump, Cast Away) and comes
from a screenplay by Steven Knight (Eastern
Promises, Locke, Peaky Blinders), which is
a collaboration of which we can
wholeheartedly approve.

Must-see rating:

Out on 6 January
American heroism of a questionable kind
isthe subject of Ang Lees new movie, an
adaptation of Ben Fountains astonishing
novel of the same name. Taking place on
a single day, or rather, a single American
football game, the lm follows the titular
Billy, played by British newcomer Joe Alwyn,
as he is paraded in front of a stadium crowd
at Thanksgiving to honour him for services
in Iraq that he would rather forget. Fountains
book is a biting satire about jingoism,
traumaand desensitisation on a personal
and national scale it will be fascinating
tosee how Lee wrestles these themes in
acinematic medium.

Must-see rating:

119

>

Esquire / Promotion

Navy/black
jacquard print bomber,
149; jacquard print mac,
200; black track jacket, 60;
grey merino wool crew-neck
jumper, 50; white cotton
shirt, 40, all by Baartmans
& Siegel for Marks &
Spencer

Classics with a twist

Marks & Spencer reimagines the essentials with a little help from Baartmans & Siegel
What do you get when you unite
Anglo-Dutch design duo Wouter
Baartmans and Amber Siegel with
apillar of British retail in Marks
&Spencer? A 12-piece collection of
menswear staples designed to throw
British design talent into sharp focus
this autumn.
Drawing upon futuristic architecture
as their inspiration, the duos design

Photograph by Andy Barter

aesthetic creating high-quality,

investment pieces with a modern
edge has been translated into more
accessibly priced clothing for men
withakeen eye on the latest trends.
We believe in delivering quality
toour customers, Siegel explains.
Byconnecting with the Marks
&Spencer design team, we were able to
create something that was true to our

initial vision without compromising

onfabrication and silhouette.
And the key pieces? The textured
knits and the casual tailoring are
important, says Siegel. But denitely the
bomber jackets. These sportier pieces are
season-less, part of a new progressive
uniform for men. We think the bomber
jacket is the blazer for a new generation.
Find out more at marksandspencer.com

120

Wilder boys: Mumford&

Sons, (below, from left)
Winston Marshall, Marcus
Mumford, Ben Lovett and
TedDwayne

10

8 | PATERSON

9 | A UNITED KINGDOM

10 | LA LA LAND

Out on 25 November
So far in this list weve had psychopaths,
aliens, terrorists and assassins (some of
which we may not have mentioned, but trust
us, theyre in there), and now we have a bus
driver. And not a psychopathic, homicidal
one; a regular one, called Paterson, who
drives a bus, in Paterson, which is in New
Jersey. And yet director Jim Jarmuschs
capacity for restraint, inection and nuance,
and star Adam Drivers capacity for the same,
means this small lm, with small ambitions,
about an isolated but not unhappy man
wholoves his wife, writes poetry and enjoys
listening to strangers conversations,
willleave a monumental impression.

Must-see rating:

Out on 25 November
Two of Britains nest actors, David Oyelowo
and Rosamund Pike, head up director Amma
Asantes real-life account of an episode of
ourrecent history about which we might feel
lessinclined to crow. In 1947, Seretse Khama,
ayoung African law student in London,
metand fell in love with Ruth Williams,
awillowy English typist, a relationship that
was controversial not just because of the
dierent colours of their skin, but because
hewas in fact the prince of what is now
Botswana. Their union would create
suspicion among his people, and, because
ofthe colonial economic interests they
wanted to protect, castigation from hers.

Must-see rating:

Out on 13 January
Prepare to go ga-ga for La La Land, as the
movie that has been the toast of every lm
festival nally gets its mainstream release.
And really, how it could it fail? It features
two of the most likeable stars around in
Ryan Gosling (Sebastian) and Emma Stone
(Mia), and comes from writer-director
Damien Chazelle, who was responsible for
the electrifyingly brilliant 2014 drummer
drama Whiplash. Plus, its a musical about
the dreams and failures of aspiring actors
and musicians in Hollywood. And if
youdont come out of it even slightly
temptedto invest in a pair of tap shoes,
thenyour heart is ocially made of granite.

Must-see rating:

121

Culture

Capitol gold: the

lustrous history of the
label head-quartered in
Hollywood (below) is
celebrated in Taschens
new coffee-table book

Label
obsession
CAPITOL RECORDS HAS SOME
SURPRISINGLY CULTISH FANS,
AS A NEW BOOK ATTESTS

Capitol Records words by Johnny Davis | DIANA words by Sara Macaulay

Bands have fans but do record labels?

Independents do, of course. An indie or dance
fan might sign up to pretty much anything
Sub Pop or XL puts out. Major labels, not so
much. They tend to put hits before cultural
legacy. Capitol Records, founded in 1942 and
today part of the Universal Music Group, is
one major with cultural clout. For a start it had
The Beatles. Then theres the Capitol Records
Building, the 13-story cylindrical tower
blinking out H-O-L-L-Y-W-O-O-D in Morse
code since the Fifties. Add in a roster that
includes Frank Sinatra, Miles Davis, Wanda
Jackson, The Beach Boys, Kraftwerk, Pink
Floyd, Beastie Boys and Radiohead and you
have got justication enough for the Taschen
treatment. 75 Years of Capitol Records is an
outsized, hard-backed, 492-page love song to
one of the greats. Music writer Barney Hoskins
and the labels own Beck take care of the
text,but its the pictures youll love: pages of
Instagram gold culled from Capitols archives.
A book to make someones Christmas.

75 Years of Capitol Records (Taschen) is out now

Its a yah from us

CANADIAN ELECTRO-POP BAND DIANA TOOK AN OPEN-MINDED APPROACH TO COLLABORATION,
REALITY TV STARS INCLUDED, ON THEIR BLISSFUL SOPHOMORE ALBUM
When Gary Beals sang A Whole New
World in front of a panel of experts in the
first series of Canadian Idol, he probably
didnt expect to finish as the shows
runner-up. Even less, presumably, did he
imagine he would find himself doing guest
vocals on the second album of decidedly
trendy alt-pop act DIANA, but so it has
come to pass. It has been three years since

the Canadian synth-pop trio first made

waves with their critically acclaimed LP
Perpetual Surrender, and much to our
delight, theyre back and sounding better
than ever.
Their second album, Familiar Touch,
transcends boxy genre-constraints with
a shimmering blend of Eighties style
alt-pop and soul, and features songs that

123

wouldnt be out of place on a John Hughes

soundtrack, with frontwoman Carmen
Ellescherry-pie vocals finding an earthy
counterpoint in Beals backing. Is this where
he thought hed end up? Probably not.
Buthey, you cant lose em all.

Familiar Touch (Culvert/ILS/Caroline)

byDIANA is out on 18 November

Culture

Giant leap: with help

from Keith Stanfield,
left, and Brian Tyree
Henry, right, Atlanta
creator Donald Glover,
centre, finally soars

Lena, meaner
WHY DONALD GLOVERS ATLANTA IS THE UNLIKELY SUCCESSOR TO LENA DUNHAMS GIRLS
Lena Dunhams paradigm-shifting TV series,
Girls, is about privileged young white women
in New York. Donald Glovers new series,
Atlanta, is about underprivileged young black
men in the city of the same name. And yet,
youth aside, the two shows share a certain
something. Both are made up of episodes that
make you realise how much can be achieved
on TV in 30 minutes. Both display a deft
combination of comedy, drama and creative
risk. And both come from writer-performers
who were unable to nd an existing niche to t
into, so went ahead and made their own.
Donald Glover has been a writer on Tina
Feys 30 Rock, a long-serving cast member
oncult US sitcom Community, and has
areasonably successful sideline as a rapper
under the moniker Childish Gambino. But hes
never been able to take the centre-stage; even
in his music hes been viewed suspiciously as

somehow too nerdy or clever (he went to New

Yorks prestigious Tisch School of the Arts).
Then he created Atlanta. A critical hit in
the US, the new series, just launched in the
UK, follows Earn, played by Glover himself,
a geeky credit card salesman who is trying to
scratch out a living for his baby daughter by
managing his cousin Paper Bois burgeoning
rap career. It might sound familiar, a rags-toriches drama of a young African-American
man seeking a way out of deprivation through
music, but like Dunhams Girls, Atlanta is
somehow unlike anything youve seen before.
For a start, its funny. When Earn, taking
his estranged girlfriend on a dinner date he
cant aord, asks the waitress in desperation
ifhe can have a Miller High Life, like, the
ones in the can, she replies perkily, Weve got
a hipster! Meanwhile Paper Boi (Brian Tyree
Henry) and his accomplice Darius (Keith

124

Staneld) form a comic double act reminiscent

of Blackadder and Baldrick. Glover also drops
in moments of surrealism a takeaway
chicken box that emits golden light like
atreasure chest or formal experimentation,
like the second episode, largely contained
inthe waiting room of a police station jail.
But where Glover is most innovative
ishisrefusal to restrict his characters to the
stereotypical behaviour that black men of
lower economic status are usually conned:
yes, they might make rap music and break the
law, but that doesnt mean they cant discuss
the psycho-cultural signicance of naming
their rearms, or nd doing a drug deal scary.
The mix of humour, pathos, irreverence and
poignancy is close to perfect. Finally, Donald
Glover has made himself a glove that ts.

Atlanta is on Saturdays at 10pm on Fox

Esquire / Promotion

A more stylish holiday

Join our style director in Londons West End fashion centre on 1 December. But first,
download the Blippar app and scan this page to unlock exclusive Esquire style content
Festive style

Seasonal swag

Childs play

With Christmas on the horizon, youve got

enough on your plate with work socials and
perfecting your turkey marinade. So, when
it comes to seasonal sartorial prowess,
weve made it easy for you. Scan thispage
with your Blippar app to unlock abespoke
video of Esquire style director Teovan den
Broeke selecting his favourite on-trend
pieces from Covent Garden.

Whether youre looking to treat

yourself or seeking something special
for your better half, head to Covent
Garden in the lead-up toChristmas.
Its vast range of outlets from Oliver
Sweeney on Henrietta Street to The
Watch Gallery on the Piazza (and
everything in-between) ensures
those last minute gifts are all in hand.

And, if your Christmas shopping

involves spirited children, why not
join in theRudolph reindeer search in
and around the Piazza, through the
Blippar app. There are eight to nd in
all each bearing gifts in the form of
exclusive oers and rewards from your
favourite retailers. Plus, youll gain
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Illustration by Jamie Jones

125

Culture

Its only rocknroll: The

Rolling Stones massive
Cuban show, in March
2016, is documented
in Havana Moon

Moonlight
milestone
A NEW FILM CAPTURES THE
ROLLING STONES IN CUBA THIS
YEAR ASTONISHINGLY, FOR
THEVERY FIRST TIME
Good Friday 2016 marked the end of
amomentous week in Cubas recent history.
First, President Barack Obama brought
amessage of friendship from once arch-enemy
the USA; then The Rolling Stones invaded. The
historic and enormous gig they played is
captured in Paul Dugdales new lm, Havana
Moon, released on DVD this week.
Even though all rock music was banned
under the Communist lock-down, the band
determinedly pursued the challenge of
aconcert somewhere theyd never toured
before; for The Stones, after 50 years on the
road, a rarity in itself. As the lm reveals,
theisland had no decent PA, staging,
lighting, video or power equipment, so the
band shipped it all in using 85 containers and
hired local workers to assemble it. Then on 25
March, they played for free to an exuberant,
almost disbelieving, audience. Extreme
estimates claim 700,000 were inside the
showgrounds with 500,000 listening outside,
an overwhelming social and cultural event
forthe tiny, isolated nation.

The Stones played for free to 700,000

inside the stadium, 500,000 outside
In Havana Moon, the band perform their
trusty hits you know the ones but what
sets this lm apart from other Stones concert
mementos is the more intimate, revealing
camera work which sweeps the viewer from
behind the scenes to the stage itself and out
across, and down into, the endless, rippling
crowd. The sun may inevitably be setting on
the Stones unrivalled career, but given the

right stimulus they can still howl at the moon

when the vibe strikes. Which also likely helps
explain Blue & Lonesome, their new album of
blues favourites taped in a three-day jam in
order to loosen up and get the juices going.
Just like the old days.

Havana Moon is out on DVD on 11 November;

Blue& Lonesome (Polydor) is out on 2 December

Havana Moon words by Brendan Fitzgerald

Comment is freaky
JARETT KOBEKS NEW NOVEL IS A FRENZIED DIATRIBE AGAINST THE NET
Jarett Kobek has guts. This is the writer
who first came to attention with a book
called Atta: & the Whitman of Tikrit,
which was a fictionalised biography of
9/11 mastermind Mohamed Atta that
suggested the destruction of the Twin
Towers was an act of architectural
criticism. His new book is called I Hate
the Internet, and you win exactly no
prizes for guessing its topic, or rather, its

target. Written in skittering paragraphs

that jump from subject to subject as
though mimicking the attention deficit
disorder from which all screen-saturated
societies now suffer, it tells the story of
aSan Francisco comic-book writer called
Adeline who finds herself on the wrong
end of the internets wrath. But, in a tone
of sardonic indifference, it also touches
on Silicon Valley and Google and

127

Facebook and Twitter and Instagram

andall the other ways users of the
internet are blindly participating in
atechnological revolution in which, he
suggests, we are actually getting royally
screwed. Not for the faint hearted, this
one, but furiously enjoyable.

I Hate the Internet (Serpents Tail)

byJarett Kobek is out now

Culture

Great apes: gorilla,

chimpanzee, mandrill
macaque and drill
(mainimage) are among
thestill life simians in
Monkey Business

Smile if you like bananas

A NEW EXHIBITION OF STUFFED PRIMATES WILL SHOW JUST HOW MUCH THEYRE LIKE YOU (HOO HOO)

National Museums Scotland

There arent a lot of jungles in Edinburgh of

the non-concrete variety, but this month the
city will be sprouting its very own when
anewexhibition, Monkey Business, opens at
the National Museum of Scotland. And whos
going to ll that jungle? Why, monkeys of
course. And apes, lemurs, and lorises, in a
comprehensive exhibition about primate life
and behaviour that will no doubt remind us
just how far we havent come, evolutionarily
speaking. More than 50 taxidermy specimens
will be on display, specially stued for this
show in postures that seek to capture their
real-life conduct. This means you can
seeagibbon swinging through the trees and
a chimpanzee shing for termites, but you
wont nd any bush-babies in teeny-tiny
waistcoats playing pool. Mores the pity.

Monkey Business runs from 9 December to23

April2017, at the National Museum
ofScotland,Edinburgh

128

Esquire / Promotion

For the pace-setter

Beyond a read out of your time, distance covered, speed,
pace and calories burned, the TomTom Runner 3 has
space for 500 tracks and Bluetooth connectivity, so you
can finally free yourself of your phone and that pesky
headphone cable. From 120

Clocking in
TomTom Sports range of wearable
tech has it all mapped out
Wearable tech has come a long way in a short
space of time. It wasnt that long ago that an
analogue step counter represented the cutting
edge of tness equipment. Now, clocking up
your steps isjust the tip of the iceberg, as
TomTom Sports deftly demonstrates. The
brands range of wearable tech isseriously
impressive. You can keep tabs on your heart
rate, body fat and muscle composition; store
music or plan routes with GPS. You can even
receive phone notications. But best of all,
TomTom Sports oers wearable tech for
specic activities as well as one the Touch
for general tness. Which means theres
adevice thats just perfect for you, whatever
your level of tness or chosen discipline.

For the king

of the course
With GPS mapping and
in-built shot detection,
the TomTom Golfer 2 is
your best friend around
the course. It gives you
precise distances, lists
forward-lying hazards
and feeds you the
numbers you need to
beat your opponents.
And if it all goes wrong,
its even waterresistant. 200

For the trailblazer

For those who think time is better spent outdoors, the
TomTom Adventurer allows you to track altitude, gradient
and 3D distance, and plan and upload a trail before you
set out. Plus it can hold 3gb-worth of music so you can
give those vistas the soundtrack they deserve. 270

For the jack of all trades

For the everyday active

A perfect all-rounder, the TomTom Touch
can measure your body fat and muscle mass
percentage (and track how it changes over
time), as well as feeding back your heart rate,
steps taken and calories burned. 130

Photograph by Luke Kirwan

And for those all-rounders theres

the TomTom Spark 3, which allows
you to change between different
sport modes, including swimming,
indoor cycling and treadmill
running. Plus, the large display
offers a real-time read out of
yourstats. From 120

129

Culture

Peter patter

PG Wodehouse words by Richard T Kelly

HIS YOUTHFUL VIM MAY BE FADING BUT, WITH A SECOND

SOLO ALBUM OUT, PETER DOHERTYS RAMSHACKLE
RAMBLINGS STILL DESERVE A LISTEN

The continued existence of Peter

Doherty, both as a musician and as a
human being, is something of surprise
to many, perhaps including himself.
But having weathered the fervent
adoration inspired by The Libertines
and the media infamy inspired by his
personal life, Doherty, now in his late
thirties, nds himself in a slight nomans-land, not the voice of misspent
youth he once was, nor yet a grizzled
veteran. But thats not to say he has no
place, just that its harder to pinpoint.
His second solo album, Hamburg
Demonstrations, recorded in that
sameGerman city over six months, has

Doherty applying his appealingly

tuneless, loose-dentured yowling to
socio-political angst (one track is about
the Bataclan attacks) and Anglo-centric
intellectualising (Kolly Kibber is
inspired by a character in Graham
Greenes Brighton Rock) wrapped up
with rollicking guitar jams and some
welcome forays into reective folk. It
has ashes of brilliance and ashes of
indulgence. Which will win out in the
long run? Who can say. Even now,
PeterDoherty remains one to watch.

Hamburg Demonstrations (BMG/Clouds

Hill) by Peter Doherty is out 2 December

131

Hic hic
hooray!
RICHARD T KELLY SELECTS HIS
THREE FAVOURITE PICKLED
PASSAGES FROM PG WODEHOUSE
A common problem with authors who wrote well
about alcohol F Scott Fitzgerald, say, or Charles
Bukowski is that often they were alcoholics,
with all the misery that entails. PG Wodehouse,
though, flies breezily free of such gloom. One
ofthe great tonics of his famous comic writing
isitssense that happiness may be reliably found
through the life-restoring fluid contained
inthe magic bottle. I have edited a new
compendium of all the best moments in
Wodehouse that involve getting outside a stiff
drink; and here are three of myfavourites:
Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe (in Pigs Have Wings)
suffers romantic rejection yet is consoled by a
tankard of beer that appears before him in the
manner of an old pal: A woman is only a woman,
he seemed to be saying, but a frothing pint
isadrink.
Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge (in Nothing
Serious), reduced to rummaging the drinks
cupboard in dire need, finds only a crusty port;
yet consoles himself with the thought that, often,
agood go in at the port at a critical moment
hasmade all the difference to me as a
thinkingforce.
Motty (in Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest), having
gotten disgracefully drunk while lodging with a
friend, is offered by his host the chance to plead
food poisoning as the cause, but defiantly
refuses: No! he replied firmly. I didnt do
anything of the kind. I drank too much! Much too
much. Lots and lots too much! And, whats more,
Im going todoitagain!

Highballs For Breakfast: The Very Best of

PGWodehouse on the Joys of a Good Stiff Drink
(Hutchinson), compiled and edited by
RichardTKelly, is out on 10 November

Watch Survey 2016

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Box office
smash
FIVE REASONS TO NEVER GET IN
A CAR WITH ACCIDENT PRONE
WHIPLASH ACTOR MILES TELLER

Culture

Personal space: Andrs

Jaques Intimate
Strangers is one of the
installations in the new
Design Museums
inaugural exhibition

Miles Teller words by Sara Macauley

In his new movie, Bleed for This, Miles Teller plays

the Italian-American boxer Vincenzo Pazienza,
better known as Vinny Paz, who suffered a horrific
spinal injury in a car crash in 1991 after which he
wasnt certain to walk again, let alone fight. He did
both. But, as youll see below, this isnt the first time
in his career that Teller has plotted a collision course
(and in a strange case of life preceding art, Teller
himself was involved in a near-fatal car accident
when he was 20, which gave him his distinctive scars
on his face). The advice to his co-stars: buckle up.

RABBIT HOLE
(2010)

WHIPLASH
(2014)

In this emotional drama,

we see Teller as Jason,
a teenage driver who
runs over and kills
Becca (Nicole Kidman)
and Howie Corbetts
(Aaron Eckhart) fouryear-old son. Teller has
said he partly got the
role because director
John Cameron Mitchell
thought his scars gave
him character.

Damien Chazelles aptly

named drama pivoted
on the tempestuous
relationship between
abudding jazz drummer
Andrew (Teller) and his
quasi-sadistic teacher
(JK Simmons). After one
fiery exchange, we see
Andrew driving to fetch
his drum sticks at
breakneck speed before
colliding with a truck.

THE SPECTACULAR NOW

(2013)

21 & OVER
(2013)

In this indie romance

from James Ponsoldt,
Teller stars opposite
Shailene Woodley
astroubled life of the
party teen Sutter.
Thepairs on-screen
romance begins with
Woodleys character
Aimee finding Sutter
passed out on a lawn,
and culminates with her
being hit by a lorry after
he kicks her out of a car.

This film, rather

shockingly, doesnt
contain a car crash
scene with Teller at the
wheel per se, but he has
admitted to fracturing
his ankle, spraining
aknee and breaking his
foot after being run over
by a golf cart on-set.
The message is clear:
ifits got wheels, and
hesnear it, make sure
youre not.

10

11

Shock and awwwww

THE NEW DESIGN MUSEUMS OPENING EXHIBITION IS ALL
ABOUT HOW THE STUFF AROUND US CAN MAKE US FEEL
We know how apps like Grindr and
Tinder are changing the way we have
relationships (or, more realistically,
dont) in the 21st century, but how do
they make us feel about our bodies, our
personalities, or our cities when theres
a, er, cuddle round every corner?
Inanage of recurrent fears about the
potential of articial intelligence, how
would we feel about an industrial-scale
robot that responds to our presence
when we enter a room? After Brexit,
how would we feel about our homes if
we understood just how pan-European
our domestic inuences are?
These are three of the concerns
being addressed by architects,
designers and artists in Fear and Love:
Reactions to a Complex World, a new
show about how we respond to those
two emotions through the stu we
make, which heralds the opening of
theDesign Museum in its new digs in
Kensington. Architect Andrs Jaque

133

takes on app trysts in an audio-visual

installation, Pittsburgh-based designer
Madeline Gannon has reprogrammed
a 2.6m-high robot to behave in
waysyou might not expect, and Rem
Koolhaass architecture practice
OMAwill present a living room
furnished with pieces from the 28 EU
member states. Its a reminder that
design is notjust for life, but for living.

Fear and Love: Reactions to a Complex

World runs from 24 November to 23 April
2017, The Design Museum, London W8

12

Culture

Pawn star: Magnus

Carlsen, maverick
subject of a new film,
celebrates winning the
2013 world chess title
in Channai, India

Grandmaster flash
A NEW DOC ABOUT NORWEGIAN CHESS GENIUS MAGNUS CARLSEN POSITIONS HIM AS
THE RENEGADE OF THE GAME, THOUGH ITS ALL RELATIVE
The complexity of chess means that it is
inherently dicult to portray on screen to
those who dont know how to play it. Even if
you can play it, chances are you cant play
itparticularly well, and even if you can play it
particularly well, chances are you cant play
itexceptionally well, and if you can play it
exceptionally well, chances are youre one of
the people who feature in Benjamin Rees
new documentary Magnus, which follows the
rise of the young man who can play chess
best of all, Norways Magnus Carlsen.
But take the fact that chess is a massive
brain scramble to the majority, and add
toitthe particular, peculiar personality
ofCarlsen himself, and you come out with
adocumentary which is structured around

the then-23-year-olds attempt to become the

World Chess Champion in 2013 that is
intriguing and enticing while also, at times,
leaving you more confused than ever.
Because Carlsen, as anyone who read Tim
Lewiss excellent prole in the January 2012
issue of this very magazine might remember,
is a tricky interviewee. He hardly talks, for
one thing; in Rees lm, much of the
explaining is done by Carlsens father, Henrik
(who looks like a cross between Sir Clive
Woodward and Sven-Gran Eriksson). And
even when he does speak (and Magnus, for
what its worth, also could do a good passing
impression of Roger Federer), its usually to
express frustration that whats going on in his
head is so unfathomable to anyone else.

135

Which isnt to say that Rees documentary

isnt moving in its own subtle way. Carlsens
unusual way of thinking made him
something of an outsider growing up, even
ifthese same qualities instinctiveness,
intuition, foresight have enabled him to
defeat opponents whose preparation is
heavily computerised, embodied in the lm
by the incumbent world champion, Indias
Viswanathan Vishy Anand. And if
thepolarisation of free-spirited man versus
computer-obsessed man is a little overplayed, and the end-of-tournament pay-o
hugely predictable, its still a pleasure to get
small glimpses of what a real genius can do.

Magnus is out in cinemas on 11 November

Culture

Social commentary:
Knausgaard and
Ekelunds brilliant new
book is much more than
mere football punditry

In search of
extra time
NORWAYS VERY OWN PROUST,
KARL OVE KNAUSGAARD, HAS
WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT
FOOTBALL. RESULT!
As writing gigs go, this one was pretty sweet.
Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgaard and
his friend, Swedish author Fredrik Ekelund,
decided to watch the whole of the 2014 Fifa
World Cup Knausgaard on the sofa at home
in Sweden, Ekelund in bars and stadia while
visiting Brazil and write each other emails
(though theyre described, a little pompously,
as letters) expounding their thoughts along
the way. These letters then became a book.
The next question is: why the hell would
anyone want to read it? If youre aKnausgaard
fan and, with international book sales of
his autobiographical novel series My Struggle
now in the multiple millions, there are many
youll already know the answer. If not,
allow us to explain.
Knausgaard is a writer with an astonishing
ability to elevate the prosaic, not by
superimposing great symbolic truths, but by
examining it, describing it, almost fetishising
it. This, after all, is the real stu of existence.
Reading his books, one starts from a position
of disbelief at the minutiae he explores: about
his work, his marriage, his upbringing, his
family life is he really telling me what he
put in his kids packed lunch? especially
once you realise such passages rarely reward
you with a punchline. But if you persevere, you
nd yourself gradually absorbed into his
world, you succumb to it, until you cant get
enough of these details, and nd yourself
wanting to wallow in them forever. (Given
that My Struggle stretches to six volumes
which are still being gradually translated into
English, you might just be in luck.)
Home and Away: Writing the Beautiful
Game is no dierent. You might recoil from
the concept, but it soon has you by the collar
with the subtlest of grips. Knausgaard
onfootball segues into Knausgaard on the

Both writers played

semi-seriously in
their youth, so they
know their stuff
current misappropriation of feminist
principles, or Knausgaard on a Swedish poet
he read as a teenager, or Knausgaard on
trying to soothe a baby back to sleep at
midnight, in as close an approximation of the
workings of the mind where all thoughts
are equal as can be committed to page.
This time, however, he has a foil: Ekelund is a
writer who is exuberant where Knausgaard is
austere, who revels in life where Knausgaard
observes, who provides a splash of light to
Knausgaards incessant shade. And who
alsoreally, really likes football.
Lets not forget, this is structurally a book
about watching the World Cup, with games
discussed at length (even if Knausgaard has
ahabit of falling asleep when watching them).

137

Both writers played the game semi-seriously

in their youth, so they know their stu and
ri on everything from the animalistic
strangeness of Luis Surez, the talismanic
potential of Neymar (and how he looks like
Limahl from Eighties band Kajagoogoo),
and the ordinary brilliance, or brilliant
ordinariness, of Thomas Mller, to their
respective love and hatred of Italys Azzurri.
The eect is part lyrical, part familiar,
part philosophical. Here is Knausgaard
onDiego Maradonas importance to football:
It is a game. It is anti-seriousness. Antimeaning. Anti-intellectual. It is the kitten
chasing after the ball of wool, it is the horse
running alongside the fence snorting, it is
thefalcon gliding on the wind, it is the otter
sliding down the snow-covered mountain on
its back, it is that which has no meaning, it is
only fun. It is a sparkle. And no one had more
of that sparkle than Maradona. As a reading
experience, Home and Away is diverting,
indulgent and stealthily enjoyable. Just as
itprobably was to write.

Home and Away: Writing the Beautiful Game

(Harvill Secker) is out now

Esquire / Promotion

The future is now

What once seemed to be science fiction is fast becoming science fact

The pace of change is forever quickening,

permanently altering the way we live, work
and move around the globe. A century ago,
horse-drawn carriages traversed our streets;
today, petrol and diesel vehicles are giving
way to electric-powered cars we call or rent at
the push of a button.
In our homes, smart vacuum cleaners
learn where they can roam, cutting the time
it takes to clean our rooms. Smart fridges
know when to reorder supplies that then
arrive at our door. Smart thermostats
andlight switches know when to come on

and turn themselves o. The internet of

things is revolutionising our lives.
Global warming, the shrinking of the
polar ice caps and pumping fossil fuels from
the Earth have increasingly become concerns
for us all. The energy sources we presently
use are deleterious and unsustainable, and
alternatives are required. Scientists are
engaged in a race to nd alternative sources
of energy less harmful to Earth and theyre
thinking big.
The United States Naval Research
Laboratory has a team exploring the potential

of space-based solar panels to power

Earth-based electricity grids. Dr Paul
Jae, one of the members of the lab, has
proposed launching solar panels into orbit
that would take in solar power and direct it
down to Earth in the form of always-on
usable energy that wouldnt contribute to
global warming.
These visions were all, until recently,
science ction. But they have become science
fact, aordable and accessible to all. The way
we move, live and source our energy could
massively change in the near future.

The fourth industrial revolution: Al and robotics

Forget the fearmongering that says your job will be replaced by a robot because the future is bright
Industrial revolutions rarely
happen, but shake up the job
market whenever they do.
According to the World Economic
Forum, two-thirds of primary
school children today will work in
jobs that dont currently exist. Five
million positions currently lled
by humans worldwide will be
carried out by new technology
whether robots or the hive mind
of articial intelligence by 2020.
The future has never appeared
nearer, and on the surface, scarier.
But dig deeper and the future isnt
terrifying; its thrilling.
What happens to ve million
factory workers replaced by robots,
or stockbrokers replaced by
self-learning algorithms? Theyll

138

reskill and take advantage of the

cheaper consumer costs thatll
result from the rise of the robots.
Expensive taxis will become
cheaper as autonomous, driverless
cars take us from our homes to our
new workplaces, where well be
challenged in highly skilled jobs,
and engage with our fellow
humans in occupations where
empathy is all-important. Smart
trac systems will alleviate trac
jams, giving us more leisure time
and less time spent sitting
immobile on motorways. Well
know the best bar to visit based on
our pre-programmed preferences
and real-time population data.
Though the headlines may sound
daunting, the futures bright.

Key points
The global workforce will see net gains in
employment, thanks to current industries
and education systems. Some 2.2m more
jobs will be created than displaced as a
result of technology advances.
Geeks will be your boss by the decades
end. Cognitive abilities, systems skills and
competence at solving complex problems
will be the priority in tomorrows workforce.
Big thinkers and escapists will be at
apremium. Creativity will be the third-most
valued skill for employees, while the rise of
robots wont stop emotional intelligence
being a requirement.
Want to work from home? Its eminently
possible. An anytime, anywhere workforce
will keep the worlds economy going in the
future, supported by communications tech.
Thumb twiddling will be an alien concept
for tomorrows workers as robots and
computers do the jobs we no longer want
to. Humans will be free to be challenged by
and to enjoy their work.

Illustrations by Bratislav Milenkovic

Esquire / Promotion

Introducing the
innovators:
see the experts
speak on video
at esquire.co.uk

Sam Livingstone
Associate editor of Car Design
News and visiting senior tutor
withthe vehicle design
programme at the Royal
Collegeof Art, London.

Anthony M Townsend
Forecaster and urban planner,
Townsend understands
hyper-connectivity and the
futuresharing economy better
thananyone else.

Dr Mike Aldred
Lead robotics engineer at Dyson,
Mike is an expert in artificial
intelligence and robotics and
has mind-blowing predictions
for the future.

Laurie Winkless
Author of Science and the City
and former researcher at the UK
National Physical Laboratory, her
work focuses on thermoelectric
devices as an energy source.

Share and share alike

Interview

From holiday accommodation to leftover food, hyper-connectivity and the

sharing economy will shape the ways we live

Sam Livingstone, operation

committee member of Project Ioniq
Lab, talks about the future of mobility

Science ction writers feared that

humanitys future would be increasingly
desolate; millions of individuals secreted
away, each living their own lives in splendid
isolation. With the arrival of the internet, the
mobile phone, and the app, such a future is
eminently possible save for a group of
entrepreneurs determined we wont live our
lives in selsh silos, but will instead harness
our technology to become closer together
and to share for the global good.

The sharing economy

is a self-fullling
cycle, drawing in
ever more users
The sharing economy is breaking down
barriers, bringing people together, reducing
food waste, and allowing people to make
extra money pursuing a hobby, or running
asmall business from their home.
When Brian Chesky co-founded Airbnb in
2008, one of his three founding mottos was
that hotels leave you disconnected from the
city and its culture. What he created was
amodel for the sharing economy that many
subsequent services follow. Eight years

after it launched, Airbnbs 60m users can

choose to stay in more than two million
properties worldwide, where theyll be more
connected with the local culture. Some of the
hundreds of thousands of hosts who list their
homes on the site are able to make their
income from the site.
But not everyone is driven by the pursuit
of prot in the sharing economy. Some are
trying to save the planet by harnessing
people power and building social ties
through technology. Olio, an app based in
London and launched in June 2014, allows
users to list their unwanted food. If someone
wants to collect the food, they simply press
abutton to start a conversation. The goal?
Totackle our wasteful nature and to better
put to use the food we intensively produce,
one-third of which goes straight from
supermarket shelf to fridge to bin.
Its also possible to tackle transport
emissions, too, whether by sharing a ride in
Uberpool, or reserving one of 100 Hyundai
i30 cars by the hour or day through Zipcar,
acar sharing network with one million users
across eight countries.
The sharing economy is a self-fullling
cycle, drawing in ever more users. Those
users are changing the way
we live for the better.

It seems the car is going through a big

transformation, where we give up more and more of
our driving ability to the machine.
Broadly, the car has been around for 100 or so years,
and has become a slightly better version of a horseless
carriage. That is changing as we move towards a world
where therell be some form of autonomous driving.
Were entering the realm of Car 2.0. What we have
always known is now making a step change.
We dont necessarily own a car anymore,
nor do we just use taxis. Theres a whole
range of shades of grey that sit between
those two poles.
What is the future driving experience
going to be like?
Its quite likely that the driver experience
of tomorrow will have a lot of similarities
to today: someone will
hold a steering wheel and be able
to drive. It seems likely for some
journeys you will be a
passenger in a
driverless vehicle.
Youvegot
amash-up of
what youve
got today
which
includes some
frustrations like
traffic and
afuture concept
where you are
more akin to being
on a train as a passenger.
Were bombarded with data, satnavs and technology.
How do you see us getting all this information into
asmall space on our dashboard?
When we think of the car, we think of the external
shape, but interior design is the most important bit
now. Cars are complex, and we all know its going to
become increasingly complex. Losing buttons and
haptics replacing them will happen but I think there
could also be a point at which we see other
developments, including voice control. And well also
see an increase in artificial intelligence in cars, where
the machine makes some decisions for you.

Were now
entering
the realm
of Car 2.0
Sam Livingstone, vehicle design senior tutor, RCA

139

Esquire / Promotion

Hyundai Ioniq electric

Power
Battery
Range
Charge time
Max speed

88kW (120ps)
28kWh lithium-ion polymer
280kms, all electric
23mins, up to 80 per cent (100kW)
30mins (50kW) (DC fast charging)
165km/h

Innovating with
alternative fuels
Hyundai Motor presents the worlds first vehicle platform that makes
low- or zero-emission travel a reality at an affordable price
>

Consumers and manufacturers worry about

gas-guzzling motors spewing out carbon
emissions but there are alternatives. After
years of research, design and development,
Hyundai Motor has produced the worlds rst
car to oer a choice of three electried
powertrains: the Hyundai Ioniq.
The car brings low- or zero-emission
travel to the general public at an aordable
price, inserting cutting-edge technology into
road cars while maintaining comfort and
convenience. Moreover, Hyundai has
developed and announced Project Ioniq,

Ioniq oers low- or

zero-emission travel
at an aordable price
140

along-term research and development group

based in Hyundai headquarters focused on
improving the freedom of mobility.
Ioniq is an important step forward for
our brand in Europe, said Jochen Sengpiehl,
vice-president of marketing at Hyundai
Motor Europe, as he heralded the arrival of
the new range of cars. It brings a unique new
approach to e-mobility, with no compromise
on great design, driving pleasure and new
connectivity features. And were making it
accessible to more customers.
The new Ioniq range comprises three
separate vehicles: hybrid, plug-in and electric
models, each oering dierent attributes for
consumers and commuters. Its sporty
hatchback-style shape echoes those of more
traditionally-powered cars, while the vehicles
engineering ensures safety and reliability.

The plug-in models 8.9kWh lithium-ion

polymer battery ensures a range of 50kms of
pure electric driving when fully charged,
while bringing emissions down to a fraction
of most non-electric vehicles. As wellas a
spacious interior that can accommodate
large pieces of luggage alongside
passengers,a range of safety features
including smart cruise control, lane
changing assistance and autonomous
emergency braking.
For Hyundai, the Ioniq is just the rst step
towards innovating with alternative fuel
sources: We will continue to make
technological strides in various areas to bring
freedom and convenience in mobility for our
customers with ever-improved mobility, says
Woong-chul Yang, vice-chairman and head of
the Hyundai R&D Centre. Watch this space.

Photographs by Sam Hofman Set design by Bryony Edwards

Esquire / Promotion

Actual product specifications may vary and are subject to change.

Underneath the bonnet

What powers the Ioniq range? Groundbreaking technology throughout
Innovation never stands still, and
allows vehicle manufacturers to
provide consumer comfort with a
climate conscience. HyundaiMotor
have developed the worlds first car
model offering three different
electrified powertrains, all of
whichinclude significant
technological innovations and
engineering that rivals the best
petrol-diesel vehicles.
Both the Ioniq hybrid and plug-in
models feature a Kappa 1.6 GDI
four-cylinder, direct injection petrol
engine producing 105PS and 147Nm
of torque. The Ioniq electric boasts
a28kWh lithium-ion polymer battery
capable of powering the vehicle over

arange of more than 280kms.

Thetorque on the electric model is
even higher than the hybrid and
plug-in cars, offering 295Nm with
amaximum output of 88kW.
The Ioniq hybrid and plug-in
both have the classic design
features that distinguish a Hyundai
from competitors: a hexagonal grille
that immediately identifies it out on
the road, and sleek curves resulting
from years of design research. The
Ioniq electric does away with the
hexagonal grille, not needing a
system to cool its motor, and instead
has a smooth surface.
Drivers now are more aware
than ever of the environmental

impact of their journeys, and here

the Ioniq range outperforms its
competitors. The Ioniq hybrid has
CO2 emissions as low as 79g/km,
while the Ioniq plug-in boasts an
ultra-low level of targeted CO2
emissions of 32g/km.
Engineers have trimmed 13kgs
from the weight of the Ioniq, and
lowered the position of the battery to
maintain a low centre of gravity,
improving driver control behind the
wheel. The car is eco-friendly, with
biometallic paint extracted from
soybean oil, plastic made from
volcanic stone, and fabrics produced
from by-products of sugar cane.
hyundai.co.uk

141

Heroin
Title

If you wonder why America

is in the grip of a heroin
epidemic that kills 200
people a week, take a hard
look at the legalisation
of pot, which destroyed
the profits of the Mexican
cartels. How did they
respond to a major loss
in revenue? Like any
company, they created an
irresistible new product
and flooded the market.
Thescariest part: this
might not have happened
with Sinaloa Cartel boss
ElChapo in charge
by DON

WINSLOW
143

Heroin

The phone rang. It was July 2014, and

I was in a motel room in Tucumcari, New
Mexico, about to step into the shower. My
wife and I were two days into a cross-country drive from our home in California, and
I wanted to clean up before we went to
a sports bar across the parking lot to grab
something to eat.
Looking at the phone, I recognised the
number and felt my heart drop. Thewoman
was a close friend. Her 23-year-old son had
struggled with heroin addiction for several
years. I knew the young man. Hewas smart,
talented, funny and charming when he
wasnt high or jonesing. He was supposed to
have called me that day to discuss getting
back into school. I didnt get that call.
It was his mother on the phone, sobbing,
barely able to stammer out the words
that I already knew she was going to say.
Hes gone. That afternoon, she told me,
he was walking to a treatment centre that
nally had a bed for him, but he stopped for
one lastget well x. He died on the sidewalk.
His mother and I were on the phone for
quite a while. Mostly I listened, because
what was there to say? Then I got into the
shower and cried.
Ive been writing about and researching
the so-called War on Drugs for more than
20 years. During that time Ive been to
funerals, Ive sat with the families of teenage hitmen, Ive explained to people why
their loved ones were killed, providing
information that the government would
not. Ive analysed autopsy photos, trying to
put names to anonymous victims. Ive
watched the atrocity videos. Ithought I was
inured to it, hardened to insensitivity by the
numbing sameness of this never-ending
tragedy. I thought I was beyond tears.
This one hurt. It was personal (why
hadnt he called me, why the fuck hadnt he
called me?), and, moreover, I knew how it
had happened. The heroin that killed him
came from Mexico. The people who grew
the poppies, manufactured the drug, and
shipped it north were members of Mexicos
most powerful drug-tracking organisation, and the death of my friends son came
as a direct result of a business decision
made by several of these men.
One of them was Joaqun Guzmn
Loera. The jefe of the Sinaloa Cartel, the
largest drug tracker in the world. Aka El
Chapo [Shorty]. Yeah, him. Guzmn and
Igo way back. (I resist calling him El Chapo
because the diminutive makes him seem
like some sort of cute Disney dwarf who
whistles while he works rather than the
mass murderer he is.) I remember thedays
when young Joaqun was learning the pista
secreta [secret trail] as an errand boy/
driver for the old giants of the trade,

El Chapo
Guzmn had
worked and killed
his way up to the
big leagues by
the time he first
went to prison in
1993. He ran his
business from
his suite inside
Puente Grande
federal prison

such as Pedro Avils Prez and Rafael

CaroQuintero.
Guzmn had worked and killed his way
up to the big leagues by the time he rst
went to prison, in 1993. While he was running his business from his suite inside
Puente Grande federal prison, I was working on a book called The Power of the
Dog, the rst of three novels Ive written
about the evolution of the Mexican drug
scene. I was talking to cops and convicts,
drug trackers and addicts, gangbangers
and their families. I was in the prisons and
on the streets, in the archives and the
courts, on the border and across it. I was
still working on that book when Guzmn
made his rst escape in2001.
At the time, Mexican drug trac was
divided among several major and a dozen
minor groups, the most important being the
Jurez Cartel, the Tijuana Cartel, and the
Gulf Cartel, with its hyper-violent armed
wing, the Zetas.
When Guzmn got out of Puente
Grande, he sought to control the entire
Mexican drug business under the name of
the Sinaloa Cartel. Over the next 10 years,
he went to war against the other trackers.
That war took more than 100,000 lives
in Mexico, with more than 22,000 people
still missing. Its been a catastrophe on
the US side of the border, too, directly

144

causing, among other things, the recent

heroin epidemic that has killed thousands,
among them my friends son.
Last summer, I went on a book tour for
my novel The Cartel. At every stop, I met
people who had lost a loved one to drug-related violence in Mexico or to a drug overdose in the US. In Scottsdale, a woman
asked me if I knew anything about her best
friends murder. (I did.) In Seattle, a man
asked if I had any information about his
brother-in-laws kidnapping. (I didnt.)
One night was the anniversary of my
friends sons death. I called her from outside a bookstore in a Los Angeles mall and
then went in to talk about the damn novel.

I
The pot paradox
Ok, Im going to say it: The heroin epidemic was caused by the legalisation of marijuana. We wanted legal weed, and for the
most part, we got it. Four states have legalised it outright, others have decriminalised
it, and in many jurisdictions police refuse to
enforce the laws that are on the books, creating a de facto street legalisation.
Good news, right? Not for the Sinaloa

Heroin

Prince died of an overdose of the ultrastrong painkiller fentanyl on 21 April 2016

US Department of Justice | Getty

Two shocking US
drugs deaths

Above: Joaquin
Cartel, which by the time Colothe same drug, so... The Sinaloa
Cartel decided to undercut the
rado passed Amendment 64 in
Guzmn Loera,
2012, had become the dominant
pharmaceutical
companies.
aka El Chapo,
cartel in Mexico. Weed was a
They increased production of
chief of Mexicos
major prot centre for them, but
Mexican heroin by almost 70
murderous
suddenly they couldnt compete
per cent, and also raised the
drug-trafficking
against a superior American
purity level, bringing in ColomSinaloa Cartel,
product that also had drastically
bian cooks to create cinnamon
at one of his
lower transportation and secuheroin as strong as the East
secret bases
rity costs.
Asian product. They had been
In a single year, the cartel
selling a product that was about
46 per cent pure, now they improved it to 90
suered a 40 per cent drop in marijuana
per cent.
sales, representing billions of dollars. Mexican marijuana became an almost worthless
Their third move was classic market economics: they dropped the price. A kilo of herproduct. Theyve basically stopped growing
oin went for as much as $200,000 in New
the shit: once-vast elds in Durango now
liefallow.
York a few years ago, cost $80,000 in 2013,
More good news, right? Yeah, no. Guzmn
and now has dropped to around $50,000.
and his boys are businessmen. Theyre not
More of a better product for less money: you
going to take a 40-point hit and not do somecant beat it. At the same time, US drug and
thing about it. They had to make up those
law-enforcement ocials, concerned about
prots somewhere. Looking at the US
the dramatic surge in overdose deaths from
pharmaceutical opioids (165,000 from 1999 to
drug market as it existed, Guzmn and his
2014), cracked down on both legal and illegal
partners saw an opportunity. An increasing
distribution, opening the door for Mexican
number of Americans were addicted to preheroin, which sold for ve to 10 bucks a dose.
scription opioids such as OxyContin. And
their addiction was expensive. One capsule of
But pill users were not accustomed to the
Oxy might sell on the street for $30, and an
potency of this new heroin. Even heroin
addict might need 10 hits a day.
addicts were taken by surprise. As a result,
Well, shit, they thought. We have some of
overdose deaths have skyrocketed, more than
doubling from 2000 in 2014. More people
the best poppy elds in the world. Opium,
47,055 died from drug overdoses in 2014
morphine, Oxy, heroin theyre basically

145

On 2 February 2014, Philip Seymour

Hoffman died of a heroin overdose as
Mexican narcotics flooded into America

than in any other year in American history.

(Perhaps the most famous of these, Philip
Seymour Homan, died on 2 February 2014,
right at the height of the epidemic.) Thats 125
people a day, more than ve lives every hour,
a fatality level that matched the Aids epidemics peak in 1995.

II
Pandoras new box
On 21 February 2014, after 13 years of
being the most wanted man in Mexico
(despite frequent appearances at restaurants, concerts and holiday parties), Guzmn was recaptured. When journalists
called to get my comment, I had a one-word
answer: Iraq.

>

Marijuana

What do you mean? they asked.

I reminded them that in the power vacuum that followed Saddam Husseins
capture and subsequent execution, Iraq
splintered into sectarian violence, Shiite
against Sunni. Isis came into being, overran Iraqi and Syrian cities, and launched
a reign of terror.
Look, I shed no tears for either Hussein
or Guzmn. Both were killers and torturers. But the fact is that the horric violence
of Guzmns war of conquest had largely
abated by 2014, precisely because he had
won the war (with at least the passive assistance of the Mexican and US governments)
and established whats come to be called
the Pax Sinaloa, the Sinaloan Peace.
Historically, the Sinaloa Cartel has
been the least violent of the Mexican
drug-tracking organisations. Admittedly, this isnt a high bar to clear, but it
has long been axiomatic that the Mexican
government felt it could at least talk to
Guzmn and his partners in ways it never
could with, for instance, the Zetas. Many
journalists and writers, myself among
them, believe the Mexican government
eventually supported the Sinaloa Cartel
during the worst years of the drug war in
an attempt to establish some modicum of
order. The numbers back this theory the
Sinaloa Cartel, while by far the largest

(225,312)

$275,000

US street value:
(40,990)

Wholesale per kilogram:

$50,000

(3,277)

$4,000

Production per kilogram:

(2,868)

US street value:

$3,500

(1,311)

$1,600

Wholesale per kilogram:

(33)

Production per kilogram:

With billions of
dollars in drug
profits invested
in legitimate
business, the
economy of
Mexico is simply
dependent on
the drug trade

$40

Heroin

group, makes up only 12 per cent of the

thousands of police and military arrests
and killings of narcos. Guzmn and his
partners were famously averse to violence
against civilians (again, this is all relative).
For instance, Guzmn prohibited his people from carrying out kidnappings, a lucrative business for the other cartels.
The overwhelming power of the Sinaloa
Cartel, led by Guzmn and his partners
Ismael El Mayo Zambada Garca and
(the possibly late) Juan Jos Esparragoza-Moreno, was holding together a fragile peace among scores of smaller
tracking organisations.
Which is why the Mexican government
was, shall we say, ambivalent about Guzmns capture in the rst place. And lets
face it if corruption were an Olympic
event, Mexico would be a perennial goldmedal winner. The Sinaloa Cartel had
simply purchased elements of the Mexican
government on the local, state and federal
levels. Zambada in particular was the
political connection between the cartel
and the Mexican government and business powers.
That, coupled with the fact that the cartels control somewhere between eight and
12 per cent of the Mexican economy, gave
the Sinaloans enormous power and inuence. With billions of dollars in drug

146

Heroin

prots invested in legitimate business, the

economy of Mexico is simply dependent on
the drug trade.
Just seven months after Guzmns capture, as the Sinaloan Peace faltered, Mexico saw its highest-prole massacre in years.
On 26 September 2014, 43 students from the
Ayotzinapa teachers college went missing in
Iguala, Mexico, a town three hours south of
Mexico City. International outrage and
mass protests forced the government to
launch a cover-up er, investigation
which eventually determined that Mexican
police took the students o four buses they
had commandeered to travel to a protest in
Mexico City and turned them over to an
up-and-coming drug-tracking organisation with the vainglorious name of Guerreros Unidos (United Warriors).
The students were taken to a dump on
the outskirts of the nearest town. Fifteen
died of suocation on the drive there. The
rest were interrogated and then killed, their
bodies burned with gasoline and old tires.
The students crime? One version has it
that the local mayor simply didnt like the
students left-wing politics. OK, so they had
their police turn them over to... narcos?
Sure, that makes sense: about as much
sense as any of the other cover stories that
Mexican president Enrique Pea Nietos
government has asked us to accept.

Heroin

(1,065,090)

$1,300,000

(3,687)

$4,500

Production per kilogram:

(65,544)

$80,000

Wholesale per kilogram:

US street value:

Like Saddam Hussein, El Chapo Guzmn

murdered and tortured to achieve his aims,
creating a twisted sort of peace

Parallel perils

Fentanyl

Eyevine

Source: US Drug Enforcement Administration

The second explanation is a Mexican

classic that gets reheated every time theres
a massacre the narcos of Guerreros Unidos suspected some of the students of being
associated with a rival tracking group,
Los Rojos. Its possible, and this is where
the Iraq analogy plays out. Just as Husseins demise unleashed ancient hatreds,
Guzmns capture revived old blood
feuds,the complexity of which could ll a
season of Game of Thrones.
The condensed version: Guzmn and
the four Beltrn Leyva brothers were once
close friends but they had a falling out after
Guzmn had one of the brothers arrested
and another was killed during an arrest
attempt. One of the battleelds of the ensuing war between the Beltrn Leyva Organisation (BLO) and the Sinaloa Cartel was
Guerrero State, where the students were
massacred. The Sinaloa Cartel took it from
BLO after bloody ghting.
The Guerreros Unidos narcos who murdered the students were a faction loyal to
BLO who only reluctantly gave their fealty
to the Sinaloans after being defeated in the
war. Now, in the aftermath of Guzmns
capture, the remnants of BLO saw the
opportunity for a comeback.
Los Rojos, the other insurgent group
ghting for Guerrero, also has scores to settle, both with Guerreros Unidos and the

Sinaloans. A faction of the old Gulf Cartel,

ithad fought against BLO when it was still
part of the Sinaloa coalition. In the perceived vacuum created by Guzmns arrest,
it saw its chance to recapture territory.
Sunni versus Shiite.
In a Sinaloa Cartelcontrolled Guerrero,
the murders of 43 college students would
have required Guzmns explicit permission, which he would not have given. That
Guerreros Unidos felt free to perpetrate this
massacre is deeply problematic for the
future of a peaceful Mexico.

III
El Chapos escape
The end of the Pax Sinaloa probably
also had something to do with Guzmns
second escape from prison, on 12 July, 2015.
The details of the caper were catnip to the
media the story was that Guzmn had
gone through a trapdoor in his shower (yes,
he had a private shower, complete with
a privacy wall; I will leave you to ponder
the concept of a privacy wall in a maximum-security prison) into a mile-long tunnel through which he rode a motorcycle,
right under the noses of oblivious prison

147

The violent power struggles in Mexico since

El Chapos capture echo the aftermath of
Saddam Husseins destroyed Iraqi regime

authorities who apparently heretofore

believed they had a wicked gopher problem.
For the record, Guzmn did not go out
that tunnel on a motorcycle. Steve
McQueen escapes on motorcycles. My
money says Guzmn didnt go into that tunnel at all; anyone who can aord to pay
$50m in bribes and nance the excavation
of a mile-long tunnel can also aord not to
use it. Gentle reader, the man is worth $1bn.
He was thinking about buying Chelsea
Football Club. He went out the front door.
After Chapo Guzmn became a household name, the media was voracious for
details about his life. He grew up poor, harvesting opium in the elds when he was
eight years old. He started selling his own
cocaine at age 15. All of this is true. He gave
money to the poor. (True.) He built schools,
clinics, churches. (True, true, true.) He was
good to his mother. (True.)

>

Heroin

He had escaped before. (Sort of true.)

Wed better run this down here, because the
history of Guzmns various arrests and
escapes gets a bit confusing:
1993: Guzmn was arrested and sentenced to 20 years at a maximum-security
prison, which he ran as his personal country club, replete with call girls, gourmet
food and wine and weekly movie nights.
2001: Guzmn made his rst escape,
which, like his most recent one, wasnt an
escape at all. (An escape generally doesnt
involve the active participation of ones jailers.) The cover story that year was that
he went out in a laundry cart but insiders
allege he actually went o the roof in
ahelicopter.
2014: Guzmn was recaptured, probably
in a deal that his partner Zambada made
to get Zambadas son out of a 10-to-life
cocaine-tracking rap in Arizona. (The
son has disappeared from any US federal-prison registries read: Witness Protection Program.)
2015: Guzmn escaped again, the cover
story this time being the tunnel. I gave the
same explanation to the media over and
over again: Guzmn didnt escape; he was
let out so he could try to reestablish order.

IV
The Isis of Mexico
If Mexico has become Iraq, then the Jalisco New Generation Cartel (CJNG) is the
countrys Isis. Even its name suggests it
considers itself something dierent, a new
breed of narco ready to take over and correct the failures of the previous generation.
Theres some truth to that viewpoint one
of the Sinaloa Cartels problems is indeed
generational. The frankly brilliant leadership that brought it to prominence is dead
or graying. The Jalisco New Generation
Cartel used to be a wing of the Sinaloa Cartel under the leadership of Ignacio Nacho
Coronel. But Nachos organisation broke in
half after he was killed in a shoot-out with
the Mexican army in 2010, and one of those
factions, Los Torcidos (The Twisted Ones),
evolved into CJNG.
The CJNG boss, Nemesio Oseguera
Cervantes, El Mencho, did three years in
a California prison for heroin tracking
and then came back to Mexico to head up
the assassination squad of the Torcidos.
Atthe time, their major target was the rival
Zetas, and El Mencho carried out the 2011
massacre of 35 of them in Veracruz, then
another 32 a month later.
El Menchos son, inevitably glossed El

Fentanyl is so
powerful the DEA
warns police they
can be injured just
by touching it.
Prince died from
an overdose of it;
and as many as
700 Americans
overdosed on the
drug last year

Menchito, was once a close

that is 30 to 50 times stronger
Above: vials of
Guzmn ally, but he was capthan heroin. It was developed
fentanyl, the
tured
in
January
2014.
in 1960 by Janssen Pharmadrug now made in
ceuticals (now a division of
A month later, Guzmn was
huge quantities
Johnson & Johnson) as a treatarrested and El Mencho saw
by Mexican
ment for the severe pain
his opportunity to split from
drug gangs to
the Sinaloa Cartel.
caused by terminal cancer.
counter the crash
What makes CJNG so IsisFentanyl is so powerful that
in marijuana
like is that they just dont give a
the Drug Enforcement Adminsales in the US.
shit. To consolidate power, El
stration warns police they can
Right: a family
Mencho allegedly authorised
be injured just by touching it.
tree detailing
the murder of Jaliscos tourism
Itcan be taken as a pill (brand
secretary and the assassinanames: Duragesic, Actiq and
Mexicos many
tion of a congressman. In
Fentora), a spray, snorted,
drug cartels
March 2015, lugging assault
shot, used as a transdermal
ries and grenade launchers,
patch, mixed with heroin,
CJNG gunmen rolled into a town and killed
you name it. Prince died from an overve police ocers. Two weeks later, they
doseoffentanyl; as many as 700 Americans
overdosed on the drug last year. Its a
ambushed a police convoy and killed 15
versatilekiller.
ocers. The next day, they murdered the
police chief of another town.
Crystal Sharee Mouldens body was
In April 2016, they shot down a military
found in a Baltimore alley last June. The
helicopter with a rocket launcher. Now they
straight-A student had shot adose of fentaare taking on the Sinaloa Cartel in Baja,
nyl-laced heroin. She was 16 years old. Photos on her obituary page show a smiling girl
threatening the stability of the border
with her cheerleading squad.
region. Law-enforcement sources tell me
In New Orleans, The Times-Picayune
that CJNG has also allied with a revived
reported that fentanyl deaths exceeded the
Beltrn Leyva group to take on their old
bosses in Acapulco, leading to renewed vionumber of murders for the rst month of
lence in that resort town.
2016. In Connecticut, fentanyl-related
Just as this mess was heating up, a
deaths increased by 151 per cent between
newdrug actually an old drug entered
2014 and 2015 and are expected to rise
another 77 per cent in 2016.
the scene. Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid

148

Heroin

The Cartel family tree

1980

1985

1990

1995

2000

2005

2010

2015

JUREZ: Known for: beheadings, murder by dynamite, offing El Chapos brother

CIDA: Independent
Cartel of Acapulco
BELTRN LEYVA
SOUTH PACIFIC

SONORA: Farm life: its leader once claimed he grew honeydews and watermelons for a living
TIJUANA: Sneak attack: one senior member was killed at a party by a man in a clown costume

LOS ZETAS: Innovations: using child assassins, building a secret radio network along the border
GULF: Ancien Rgim: started smuggling alcohol during prohibition; moved into drugs in the Eighties
LA FAMILIA MICHOACNA
KNIGHTS TEMPLAR

GUADALAJARA:
The granddaddy of them all

MILENIO: Farm life 2: grew avocados before move to drug trade

JALISCO NEW GENERATION: Fire:
one shot down an army chopper

SINALOA: Some smuggling methods: tunnels, catapults, submarines boats and semi-submersibles

Rex

COLIMA: Also known as: the Methamphetamines Kings

For the narcos, the advantages of fentanyl over heroin are enormous. First of all,
its made in a lab, so you dont need elds of
poppies that can be raided, fumigated or
seized. You dont need hundreds of campesinos to harvest your crop and you dont
need to take or control territory. (Well, not
territory for cultivation you still have to
control access to smuggling turf, hence the
renewed violence in Baja, where the murder
rate has tripled.)
But its the prots that will make fentanyl the new crack cocaine, which created
the enormous wealth of the Mexican cartels
in the Eighties and Nineties. A kilo of fentanyl can be stepped on 16 to 24 times to create an astounding return on investment of
$1.3m per kilo, compared with $271,000 per
kilo of heroin. No wonder the DEA estimates that the importation of fentanyl from
Mexico is up by 65 per cent from 2014.
Because fentanyl is now often mixed
with heroin to increase the latters potency,
unaware heroin users are dying from the
same doses that used to just get them well.
Emergency medical technicians, emergency room personnel and cops dont know
what theyre looking at, or that they need
twice the dosage of naloxone (brand name
Narcan), to revive an addict whose respiratory system has been shut down by fentanyl.
Those who survive become more addicted.

The cartels mix fentanyl with heroin

because once an addict has shot that
mix, they wont go back to just heroin,
sincethey cant get high on it anymore.
The combination of lab-produced illegal
fentanyl and the fracturing of the Sinaloa
Cartel is a catastrophe for law enforcement
and American society as a whole but an
absolute boon for the narcos seeking to supplant the old order. Splinter groups such as
CJNG can easily use the enormous prot
potential of fentanyl to fund their rebellions, and those same prots will encourage
them toward violence to control the smuggling routes.
Isis is waning in Iraq largely because it
can no longer pay its ghters. Fentanyl
assures the new narcos that they will not
have that problem. All theyll need is the
will for violence, and they already have
that, in spades. Mexico has done little to ll
the vacuum created by Guzmns fall. As
aresult, there will not be three groups seeking to ll that gap, there will be dozens.
On the American side, the rise of splinter groups makes it all the harder for law
enforcement to track and intercept the
drug. Americans authorities will no longer
know wheres it coming from, and worse,
whats in it. First responders will not be able
to tell if theyre dealing with pure heroin,
heroin laced with fentanyl, pure fentanyl,

149

fentanyl cut with God knows what...there

will be pharmacological chaos.
We talk about the heroin epidemic.
Fentanyl will be the plague.

V
Sean Penn who?
Guzmns months of freedom after July
2015 were a farce. As the media played an
endless game of Wheres Wally? (hes in
Colombia, hes in Costa Rica, hes in Los
Angeles, hes in Donald Trumps hair), Mexican and American intelligence almost certainly had a line on Guzmns whereabouts
from the moment he didnt emerge from the
tunnel. Certainly by the autumn, Mexican
authorities knew Guzmn was frequenting
the coastal town of Los Mochis, in Sinaloa
State, where he was eventually captured. The
house he was living in wasnt remote but on a
four-lane boulevard around the corner from
the mother of Sinaloas governor. (Shades of
Abbottabad, anyone?)
There is no question Guzmn got overcondent and sloppy, starting to believe his
own press. He let his son Ivan, who makes
Anthony Junior in The Sopranos look like
Michael Corleone in The Godfather, put

>

Heroin

aphoto of him out on social media with the

location identied as Costa Rica. This led to
breathless speculation that Guzmn had ed
Mexico, although as a few of us tried to point
out, Costa Rica is also the name of atown in
Sinaloa. At one point he threatened to have
Donald Trump whacked. (Oddly enough,
Trump didnt respond with a dismissive
nickname, maybe because, of all the Mexicans who would scratch acheck for the wall,
Guzmn would have jumped atthe chance,
as it would increase hisprots.)
Then Guzmn pissed o a lot of people
by trying to take over the domestic sale of
drugs, especially heroin, from the independent storefront sellers in Sinaloa. This
uncharacteristically stupid move caused an
uprising in the southern half of Sinaloa and
constricted Guzmns freedom of movement. The gangs who controlled the local
markets wanted Guzmns hands out of
their pockets and were ready to go to the
AKs to do it, threatening to derail the whole
gravy train tens of billions of dollars that
Guzmns partners were making from international tracking of heroin, cocaine,
methamphetamine, and, to a shrinking
extent, marijuana.
Guzmns partners in the Sinaloa Cartel
were getting fed up with his high-prole
antics Ismael Zambada, for instance, cannot have been pleased by Guzmns new

Above left:
media stardom and were
sorry fact isthat the most powready to have their old cuate
erful drug lord in the world,
Guzmn is
[buddy] back behind bars where
aman whohad created a multirecaptured by
it would be harder for him to
billion-dollar empire, got suckMexicos authorities
mess up their business.
ered by a pretty face.
six months after
The deal the cartel made
You almost feel bad for Guzhis escape from a
mn. His texts to del Castillo
with the Mexican government
maximum-security
are pathetic: I really want to
probably went something like
jail, 8January 2016.
meet you and become good
this: please get the guy out of
Right: the very
friends. You are the best thing
our hair, but whatever you do,
first picture of El
in the world. He asks her to
dont kill him. Hes made us a
Chapo following
visit him. Have faith that
lot of money and we still have
his rearrest
youll be comfortable. Ill watch
strong ties with his family and
you more than I do my own
with loyalists. The only people
not shot in the raid that recaptured Guzmn
eyes. Del Castillo plays him. Im so moved
were the guy himself and his right-hand
you say youll look after me. No one ever has.
Guzmn worked with his lawyer to faciliman, and if you think thats a coincidence,
I have a tunnel you can bid on.
tate communications with del Castillo, insistIn the interim came the squalid burlesque
ing that the attorney get her a pink
involving Sean Penn and Kate del Castillo.
BlackBerry, which, tragically, the company
Del Castillo had been vocal in her praise of
didnt make. Then del Castillo told the lawyer she wanted to bring Sean Penn along.
Guzmn, declaring on social media that she
Guzmn didnt know who Penn was, but he
believed in Guzmn more thanshe believed
wasnt going to let that get in the way. Have
in governments and urging him to become
amodern-day Robin Hood, inwhich case he
her bring the actor. If she needs to bring more
would become ahero of heroes.
people, bring them. Asshe wishes, he said.
Their meeting took place on 2 October
She added, Lets trac in love, you know
how. Guzmn was denitely interested in
2015. A few days later, in a move that Mexican
authorities later said was helped by the del
tracking in love. Look, he wasnt the
Castillo-Penn visit but was more likely
rstguy to get taken in by a beautiful, ambitious actress who wanted to further
a result of American cell-phone intercepts,
the Mexican marines raided the ranch where
hercareer, and he wont be the last, but the

150

Heroin

Reuters/PGR

One of the most

powerful men in
the world popped
up out of a sewer
lid in a street like
some sort of
narco Whac-aMole game. Two
cops picked him
up then realised
holy shit
what they had

Guzmn ed with his two personal chefs.

Marine snipers have said that they had him
in their sights but were ordered not to re, as
our hero had a little girl in his arms as a
shield. On 8 January 2016, he was captured
in Los Mochis. Alltheauthorities had to do
was follow themonkey.
Thats right. It wasnt a Hollywood actor
that did Chapo Guzmn in. It wasnt even a
sexy soap-opera star that got him recaptured a year after his dramatic, daring
(read: bullshit) escape from a maximum-security (Id hate to see a minimum-security) Mexican prison. It was amonkey.
The story goes that Guzmn asked for
his twin daughters pet monkey, Boots, to be
sent to the not-so-safe house where he was
hiding, and Mexican authorities had aline
on the little bastard. So, Mexican and American intelligence were already monitoring
Guzmn when Sean Penn and Kate del Castillo made their farcical pilgrimage, after
which Guzmn, always the optimist, reportedly visited Tijuana for erectile-dysfunction
surgery. (You cant make this shit up. I try,
but its futile.)
Whether it was the monkey or the
soap-opera star or American cell-phone
intercepts, the deal was in place, and the
Mexican marines went in shooting. A few
hours later you had one of the most powerful
men in the world popping up out of asewer

lid in the middle of a street like some sort of

narco Whac-a-Mole game. Two cops picked
him up and then realised holy shit what
they had on their hands and were so scared
they actually turned him over rather than
negotiate a Get out of Jail for a Million card.
In the Middle East, we traded the devil
we knew for the devils we didnt. In Mexico,
the devils we know will be replaced by
a multiplicity of devils well never know.
Theability to hide production (unlike marijuana or poppy elds) and the anonymity
ofcommunicating on social media will create anarchy. The era of the cartel might be
coming to an end.
Where does this leave Guzmn? If you
didnt know the things hes done, it would be
tempting to view him as a tragic gure,
a Gabriel Garca Mrquez character living
out his twilight years in the shadows of his
lost hopes. Hes been moved to a prison in
Jurez, Cefereso No 9, a facility known for
its violence, in a city where he has many enemies. Mexicos Ministry of Foreign Aairs
has cleared the way for his extradition to the
United States, but there are still many court
challenges to go.
Some Mexican legal experts I spoke to
said it will be at least two years, if it happens
at all. I doubt that hell ever be extradited,
but you never know. He might push for it
now rather than face the threat of an

151

assisted suicide in a Mexican cell.

The prison now has dogs taste Guzmns
food in case its been poisoned (personally,
I wouldnt sacrice Spot to save Guzmn),
and two elite guards with GoPro cameras
on their helmets watch him 24/7.

VI
Money monster
So, Guzmn is behind bars, its over, and
we won. Just like we won when Hussein literally reached the end of his rope. The Los
Angeles Times estimates that two-thirds of
Mexican drug lords have been either killed
or imprisoned. And whats the result? Drugs
are more plentiful, more potent, and cheaper
than ever.
Deaths from overdoses are at an all-time
high. Violence in Mexico, once declining, is
starting to rise again. Not long ago, I looked
at photographs of the bodies of four people
stued into a car trunk in Tijuana. The bodies showed signs of torture. Gang violence is
on the rise in every major American city,
most notably Chicago and New York, and
the cowardly lions in Congress will do
exactly shit about either the drugs or the
guns that fuel and enable the killings and
deaths more than Isis ever dreamed of.
Seems like old times. There will be more
phone calls and more overdoses. Someone
will replace El Chapo, just as he replaced his
predecessors. My bets on El Mencho, but it
really doesnt matter. Thats the lesson we
seem to have to learn over and over and over
again, world without end, amen.
Guzmn was right: If there was no consumption, there would be no sales. Im
always amazed that progressive young millennials will picket a grocery chain for not
buying fair-trade coee but will go home and
do drugs that are brought to them by the killers, torturers and sadists of the cartels.
Were as addicted to the War on Drugs as
we are to the drugs themselves. Our justice
system is a machine fuelled by hundreds of
thousands of arrests, trials and imprisonments. As long as the US and Europe continue to buy billions of dollars worth of
drugs a year while at the same time spending
billions to intercept them, we will create an
endless succession of Chapos and Menchos.
An entire economy is based on drug prohibition and punishment, something to the
tune of $50bn a year, more than double
the estimated $22bn we spend on heroin.
Thats a lot of money. There will inevitably
be another Guzmn, but hell be a distraction, too. Dont follow the monkey.
Follow the money.

Books

After 20 years of working together,

Jason and Joel were all set to knock
the comedy writing on the head
when they came up with the idea.
Thanks to the Ladybird books for
grown-ups they are now the
best-selling adult authors in Britain,
and people keep calling them
apublishing phenomenon.
What a terrible, terrible indictment
ofjust about everything, sniffs Joel

By

Tim Lewis
152

Illustration by

Seth Armstrong
153

Books

Right: The Ladybird Book

ofThe Sickie
Far right: How it Works:
TheGrandparent

For Christmas this year, its a near certainty youll receive a book written by JA
Hazeley and JP Morris. Their names will
not appear anywhere on the cover, but the
satisfyingly sti tactility and faintly arboreal whi of the Ladybird imprint will be
unmistakable: they have been made the
same way since World War Two, when
rationing required that they be made from
one folded sheet of 40in x 30in paper.
The title of the book will say a little about
what the gifter thinks of you. If they dont
know you so well, perhaps its a Secret Santa
present, it might be neutral, broadly aectionate: The Ladybird Book of the Hipster or
How it Works: the Dad. It may well nod to an
interest of yours: How it Works: the Dog, The
Ladybird Book of Mindfulness, The Ladybird
Book of the Shed. If you happen to unwrap
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis, and
youve recently bought tickets for next summers Glastonbury and are contemplating
at age 43 getting your rst tattoo, then your
private existential malaise is probably more
discernible than you gured.
But no doubt you, or someone you know,
will be given one of these Ladybird books
for grown-ups. They are the publishing
phenomenon of the minute: the 17 comic
titles have sold more than two million copies since they were launched this time last
year. How it Works: the Husband was 2015s
Christmas number one and there was
anational shortage of the books during the
last festive season after migrants in Calais
jumped on the truck carrying new stock and
it was impounded. And its not just Christmas, either. For much of this year, Hazeley and Morris books have squatted in up to
eight out of 10 spots on the hardback bestseller chart. These are numbers that Jamie
Oliver would eye jealously.
So, who are to give them their full,
published identities JA Hazeley, NSFW
and JP Morris, OMG? The books themselves give little away. In small print in
How it Works: the Dad, it notes that they
were previously authors of A Man, a Plan,
a Canal: Colonic Irrigation; The Ladybird
Book of Mindfulness reveals that they are
also responsible for TVs Fiftiest Great

Sausage Moments. But aside from that,

theres no photograph, no information supplied. Are those even their real names? Is
it one of those weird situations where only
their agent and one person at the publishers
know their true identity?
No. This is not one of those articles. In
about 14 seconds of Googling, you can nd
out that they are Jason Hazeley and Joel
Morris. They are men in their mid-forties,
who were school friends in Chelmsford,
Essex and now live in London with partners
and children.
Within a minute, it will also become
clear that they are far from overnight successes: for the past 25 years they have been
comedy writers, their names ashing by
in the end credits for many of the funniest shows on television: notably Charlie
Brookers Wipe series, That Mitchell and
Webb Look, Murder in Successville, The Armstrong and Miller Show and Miranda. Before
that, they were half of the beloved Framley
Examiner, the spoof local newspaper that
appeared online and was the closest Britain
got to The Onion, and authors of a linked
book on offbeat tourist attractions, Bollocks
to Alton Towers.
The pairs kinship with Brooker, who
has been a friend since the early Nineties,
is especially strong. They are the main writers on his untouchable review of the year
show, as well as working with him on the
cop-drama parody A Touch of Cloth, the BBC
satire How TV Ruined Your Life and most
recently Cunk on Shakespeare. When Diane
Morgans Philomena Cunk looks doe-eyed
at an expert on the history of medicine and
asks him, Why arent there more songs

154

about doctors? the question was probably

written by Hazeley and Morris.
They have an uncanny ability to toss
out lines that make your brain scream
at your laughing muscles, says Brooker.
They regularly come up with lines for the
Wipe shows which I then read out and people assume were mine, which is brilliant
news for me, obviously. Describing Ed Miliband as resembling a frightened young
violinist of the year is just one random
example that comes to mind. Right now
were working on a script for a Philomena
Cunk Christmas special: they write their
bits, and I write my bits, and then it all gets
woven together, and I defy you to tell who
wrote which bit although if youre laughing it was probably theirs, the cunts.
On a recent Wednesday afternoon,
Imeet Hazeley and Morris in a pub called
the Edgar Wallace, just o the Strand, to
discuss their recent solo success with Ladybird. How it has changed them, what they
have bought with the royalties, and so on.
But they seem a little bemused, and slightly
appalled, by the idea that their lives might
have changed or be about to. Weirdly, we
got recognised today the rst time ever,
says Hazeley, who has corkscrew hair and
big eyes that widen to saucers when he
reaches a punchline. We were sitting at
a table doing some work and a guy came
over and said, Sorry, are you the guys who
wrote the Ladybird books? And we said,
Yeah How the fuck did you know that?
The general vibe of The Edgar Wallace is probably not a million miles from
the inside of Morris and Hazeleys heads.

The pub is named, a plaque outside informs

you, after the prolic British writer and war
correspondent who wrote hundreds of novels, almost 1,000 short stories and was the
creator of King Kong, though he died before
the lm was made. The interior is an homage to its eccentric patron: it is crammed
with breweriania and cigarania from the
Sixties and Seventies and every inch of the
ceiling is covered in beer mats. On the way
to the toilets, you pass posters revealing winners of The glove wearer of the year competition. Hazeley and Morris fell in love with
it when they came in for the second time and
the barmaid said, The usual, boys?
People keep saying to us, Where did
you get the idea to bring back Ladybird
books from? says Morris, who has rectangular glasses, neat musketeer facial
hair and a Mastermind-level knowledge of
the Richard Briers Eighties sitcom Ever
Decreasing Circles. Or theyd say, Its really
nice to remember Ladybird books. And
we thought, Oh, youd forgotten them?
Because we lived with them and collected
the artwork and collected the books since
we were kids. As adults, when we went to

a charity shop, wed go and buy a Ladybird book. Weve always been people who
curated and collected old stu and liked old
graphics and things.
Its not nostalgia, claries Hazeley, sipping a pale ale. Its fetishisation, I suppose,
of certain sorts of subject matter.
After years of trying and failing to get
their own sitcoms and sketch shows o the
ground, reviving Ladybird proved to be
remarkably straightforward. Hazeley and
Morris sent a pitch to a contact at Penguin,
which now owns Ladybird and with whom
they had enjoyed a modest success with Bollocks to Alton Towers. By the end of the day,
the writers had access to the 12,000-strong
archive of original illustrations to mock up
some spreads for consideration.
The rst one we wrote was The Hipster, which came out so quickly, so nished,
there wasnt anything else to do with it,
says Hazeley. It was there, it arrived, fully
formed. Finding images to go alongside
the text did not take long, either: it turns out
that almost anything retro or vintage-looking a heavily bearded Arctic explorer, for
example, or a man in a radiation suit mixing

155

chemicals could feasibly be a hipster. The

characters were given carefully chosen and
often very funny names, such as Ned the
Third and Tiswas, which would become a
feature of all the titles.
The new books copied the form of the
originals: 56 pages, small enough to t in
a childs hand, a full-page photo-realistic
colour illustration on the right to catch the
eye, text on the left. The voice was really
important, says Morris. We wanted it to
be Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut-y, like
an alien observing from great distance.
That Ladybird authority puts you hovering above mankind: you puny humans kind
of voice. Its the voice used in those public
information lms, sex education lms, we
all knowit.
There has subsequently been a rumble of controversy since artist Miriam Elia
claimed the idea was stolen from her; the
satirical website Scarfolk has also parodied
Ladybird books. But for Morris, the distinction is that he and Hazeley actually set
out to become Ladybird authors. And by
being Ladybird authors, we have to behave
like Ladybird authors: we cant swear, we

>

cant put drugs in, we cant put sex in, he

says. Ladybird pastiches go back ages. The
earliest one we found was 1960, the internet
is full of them. This joke of re-contextualising old images is what Glen Baxter used to
do. Its got a lot of history, its a pretty standard gag. So, the question is how you nd the
joke within it. And what joke you choose.
We did think, This is a helluva good
idea, recalls Hazeley. We said in our initial email to our man at Penguin that we
thought this could do really well, and that

we could sell as many as Bollocks to Alton

Towers, which sold 60,000 books: That
would be great, wouldnt it?
He shakes his head, Weve sold over two
million now, which is fucking dizzying.
The original batch of eight titles, including The Ladybird Book of Dating and The
Ladybird Book of the Hangover, came out in
November 2015. But the success was far
from pre-ordained. None of the supermarkets placed big orders for the books; Waterstones planned not to take them until Tom

156

Weldon, the CEO of Penguin Random

House UK, personally contacted James
Daunt, the retailers managing director.
The reason the books tipped, Hazeley and
Morris believe, is because of support from
independent bookstores and plain word
ofmouth.
The nicest feeling was the rst day the
books came out, I snuck down to a bookshop and stood by the table they were on,
says Morris. As a comedy writer you have
no audience, so I stood by the biographies

Since writing The Hipster in 2015 , top left, Jason Hazeley andJoel Morris have published a further 16Ladybird books for grown-ups

and watched people pick our books up, then

laugh out loud and hand them to a friend.
Which meant, Oh, youve recognised something. We like laughs, we like a physical
reaction. I hate comedy writing that tries to
make you wryly smile. I want a laugh.
A lot of television at the moment is really
good, but it makes people smile, he continues. And when its belly laugh stu, Im still
really proud that usually were involved.
We cant necessarily do astonishingly moving coming-of-age dramas or pinpoint

observations about how awkward weddings

are, thats not what we do. But we can denitely do snort-tea-down-your-nosejokes.
For the comedian David Mitchell, it
was ahigh-impact collision of offbeat writers and niche material. I think the thing
Jason and Joel have done most brilliantly
most often is parody, he says. Thats certainly how they started with the Framley Examiner and what made the new
Ladybird books so successful. They have a
gift for mixing the well observed with the

157

surreally inventive. Which isnt to say they

havent written lots of great non-parodic
sketches: I particularly remember one they
wrote for That Mitchell and Webb Look about
the Romans in Pompeii coming up with the
idea of recycling as a devotional thing in
the hope of placating the gods/volcano.
But I think inventive parody is what theyre
absolutely best at.
Perhaps the most startling aspect of the
Ladybird books for grown-ups series is
that they are so reliably funny in contrast

>

Books

to many impulse-purchase humour

books. Often the comedy comes from the
juxtaposition of the text with an incongruous image: for example, in How it Works:
the Dad, a picture of American soldiers, presumably in Vietnam, is faced by text about
a dad watching a DVD with his kids on
Mothers Day that reads, The girls wanted
to watch Frozen but Lee has already seen
that twice. Or in The Ladybird Book of the
Mid-Life Crisis, which has an old man with
his arm round a young woman that came
from the 1968 title Beauty and the Beast
and was titled Beauty says goodbye to her
father. Now the line opposite is: As long
as Phil avoids making cultural references
from before 1990, never reveals he has a
blueyonder e-mail address and tries not
to have a heart attack, he and Megan have
a great future.
I think that people are sometimes dismissive of comedy books because there are
so many rubbish ones out there, says Charlie Brooker. But there are at-out brilliant
books from The Goodies, the Pythons, the
Spitting Image team, the Young Ones team,
and so on. The Meaning of Li by Douglas

Adams and John Lloyd is superb. Id put

Jason and Joels Ladybird books right into
that tradition of British comedy books
which are far funnier and cleverer and more
lovingly assembled than they needed to be.
The idea is so irresistible they couldve just
slung the contents together and sat back
counting the quids. But no, its been made
for love. Theyve loved putting this stu
together. Theres genuine aection and
enthusiasm there and it comes across.
Calling a title a Christmas book can
seem like an insult now, but Hazeley and
Morris hope they are part of the tradition that Brooker referred to. One of the
best bits of Christmas, like watching the
James Bond movie and the big box of
Quality Street, is the book, says Morris.
People laugh at it, its sociable, you share
it. And it goes in the toilet. A novel you read
on your own, and at the end of it, you close
it and you might feel nervous about recommending it to a friend. But The Viz Annual,
the Profanisaurus, those books they are
social and they are shared, they brighten
up Christmas as much as Morecambe and
Wise did.

158

Before Ladybird landed, Hazeley and

Morris were in dire need of a hit. As 2015
went on, they were involved in a run of
projects that were commissioned, slated
to shoot and then cancelled: a sitcom for
Channel 4, a lm for BBC4 and an eightpart mock-documentary for BBC World all
collapsed in advanced stages. Wed been
doing this for 20-odd years and we both had
our heads in our hands, says Morris.
Hazeley adds, The thing is you get paid
for them all, but they never get made, so
I can pay the bills, but I just dont seem to be
advancing at all. At all.
No ones listening to me, says Morris.
No ones laughing.
There was a point last year when you
were starting to talk about giving it up, says
Hazeley, looking at his partner. You were
having a real existential crisis about it.
Some of this ennui fed into The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis, which both
Morris and Hazeley consider one of their
favourites. One joke is about a man tellingly called Jason who goes into a funk
at B&Q after seeing a pot of boat varnish.
Hes never wanted to own a boat, but now,

Left: The Ladybird Book

ofRed Tape
Right: How it Works:
The Cat

not owning one is all he can think about.

The Mid-Life Crisis for Ladybird is the most
autobiographical book written by anyone
ever, says Morris. Including actual autobiographies. Its more autobiographical than
David Nivens The Moons a Balloon.
Presumably now, with the seven-gure
sales, and in excess of 11m made for Penguin, owning that boat is not actually too
fanciful? No boats, muses Hazeley. Morris chips in, Boat-free. Its not money in
that kind of thing. Its only publishing.
I have treated myself to two original
pieces of Ladybird artwork, which I bought
from Rowland Rivron of all people, at that
table over there, says Hazeley, gesturing to
the far corner of the Edgar Wallace. And
Ive bought a suitcase and a triangular R
Whites Lemonade bin that cost me 500
on eBay. My grandfather had an ice-cream
shop in Cranham, near Upminster, and outside he had a triangular R Whites bin, so
Ive got aprop from my grandfathers shop
now sitting in my garden.
The clutter and furniture of their
childhoods is a touchstone for both Hazeley
and Morris, and they think it has been fundamental to the Ladybird revival. Unlike
today, when the must-have toy in the playground changes monthly if not sooner, the
period that both men grew up in the Seventies and Eighties was much more static.
There were only three TV channels so we all
watched the same shows. Everyone knew
Rubiks cubes, Scalextric, Matchbox Street
Racers, Mr Frosty and spacehoppers.
If you grew up around that era, the clutter of your childhood will be roughly the
same as the clutter of anyone elses who
grew up in that era, says Morris. Or theyll
know a friend who had that thing. And it
took longer for things to be replaced, they
were there for about ve years. So you could
easily, if you wanted to own everything,
over ve to 10 years of birthdays, you could
get 50 per cent of the available toys. And
youd feel, Hey, Im about as good as Prince
Andrew, I appear to have the same toys.
There was a classlessness.
The popularity of the Ladybird series,
if anything, seems to make the pair a little
uncomfortable. Our publicist says we are
the most successful writers for grown-ups in

Britain, says Morris. The only people who

sell more write childrens books: David Walliams, Julia Donaldson and JK Rowling.
Fucking hell, isnt that atrocious?
snorts Hazeley, genuinely baed.
Morris snis, What a terrible, terrible
indictment of just about everything.
Not everyone shares their surprise,
though, and there seems to be considerable goodwill, especially from other comedians (with the exception of Brooker, who
admits he wishes hed thought of the idea
rst). I think the sheer scale of the Ladybird sales, coming in an environment where
sales of books are in general falling, has
startled people, says David Mitchell. But
I dont think anyone would say this success
wasnt richly deserved, even if it came in
an unexpected way. Theyve been writing
very funny material for years, in all sorts
of media, so the fact that its now reaching
millions more people shows that there is
some justice sometimes.
Hazeley and Morris dont look
convinced. Hazeley says, When Caitlin
Moran, who is one of my favourite writers
ever, had a new book out earlier this year,
I dropped her a line and said, Hows it
doing then? You must be absolutely steaming with sales And she went, No, you two
and Tony Blair are cockblocking me! I cant
get to number one. Shes a fucking staggering writer; she just sneezes and something
brilliant comes out.
Neither Morris nor Hazeley imagine
their lives will change much: they will keep
writing the books, being a blurry credit on
television shows that they like, and perhaps
now theyll hear yes more than no from

159

commissioning editors for their own ideas.

They dont anticipate being recognised
very often by people who know their work.
I genuinely like being the person who is
handed the camera to take the picture of the
famous person with someone, says Morris.
But there is a story that sums up the general mood of incredulity around them. For
a few years, Hazeley has been playing keyboards with Portishead when they are on
tour. In the summer of 2013, the band travelled overnight from Prague to Bremen,
arriving at 8am at their hotel. They were
given the keys to their rooms, but when
Hazeley walked into his he assumed that
hed been given Geo Barrow or Beth Gibbonss suite by mistake. It was ginormous,
bigger than his house and had a four-poster
bed, two triple sofas and a drinks cabinet that was fully four metres tall. Hazeley
admits that he fritzed Im the fucking
keyboard player, Im a hired hand, this is
too big! and began calling around Portisheads core members to correct it.
Theyd all gone to bed, but later that day
Hazeley caught up with Barrow over lunch
and explained the situation. Barrow simply
shrugged and said, Sometimes you win.
Back in The Edgar Wallace, which is
lling up now with the after-work crowd,
Hazeley nishes his pint and smiles, And
I thought Yeah, youre right. If youre not
used to it, its an alien concept, but thats
what happened with these books. When
we did these books we thought wed sell
60,000 and weve now sold two-pointsomething million. There you go: sometimes you win. Doesnt happen very often,
but we did win.

December 2016

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170

Interview

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

Eddie in his element

How an unassuming Englishman found himself in the driving
seat of aHollywood juggernaut
Interview by

Photographs by

Fashion by

Miranda Collinge

Greg Williams

Catherine Hayward

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Eddie Redmayne photographed
for Esquire at Dungeness,
Kent, September 2016

Interview

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Theres a thing that sometimes happens

when Eddie Redmayne gets the tube. Hell
be sitting there, keeping himself to himself,
and as usual everyone around him will be
absorbed on their mobiles. Then hell notice
in his peripheral vision that the person opposite him has started lifting their phone,
slowly, until it reaches a height that is suspiciously unconducive to playing Candy Crush
Saga. Then the ash goes o. Redmayne
looks up; the other person looks back. And
you just have this really awkward 37 seconds before you run o the train in embarrassment, says Redmayne. Youre like,
Oh, I get it. But couldnt you have asked? Of
course, people go, Thats what youve signed
up for. Maybe theyre right.
Yes, Eddie Redmayne, the 34-year-old
British actor and Nicest Man in the Business, still takes the tube. Its one of those
clichd questions, like the price of a pint of
milk, that journalists use to assess how far
from humdrum normality a star has risen
(or should that be spiralled?). I wasnt even
allowed to ask Roger Federer. Redmayne
seems slightly taken aback by it: Absolutely.
Its really not a problem at all. How else do
you get around London? I mean, in the sense
that the trac is so awful. Only Redmayne,
as well get to later, is also now a 34-year-old
British actor who can get around London by
helicopter: another handy way of avoiding
those jams.
Its early autumn when we meet, in a restaurant in Marylebone, central London, that
is kitted out to resemble a turn-of-the-century Viennese caf, complete with dark wood
panelling, mounted animal heads and glum
landscapes on the walls. The matre d, when
I ask about the reservation, gives me a surreptitious wink before showing me to a booth in
the front window. Redmayne arrives a minute or two later on foot (you know, as opposed
to horseback, or sedan chair), in jeans, trainers and a woolly jumper with a rucksack over
his shoulder. He has tousled hair with some
grey at the temples, eyes that actually twinkle, and that dramatic slash of a mouth that
on screen can make him look delicate and
pretty or even, when he wants to, a little
freaky but in person is boyish and handsome. Its all decidedly low-key.
Eddie and his wife, Hannah, and their

new baby Iris, who was born in June, have

been renting a cottage in the Midlands for
the past few months, partly as a retreat from
London, partly to be close to Hannahs family. She has just dropped him o round the
corner, before heading back to their usual
home: a at in Bermondsey. Or shell try to
anyway as Redmayne was about to get
out of the car, they realised that neither of
them had brought their keys. We had a complete catastrophe ve minutes before coming here, he says. Weve got to try and go to
the person who lives in the at above Its so
frickin stupid. Weve all been there.
Where we havent been and apologies
if Im making assumptions here is up on
stage at the Oscars, to collect the 2015 award
for best actor from Cate Blanchett for portraying the theoretical physicist, cosmologist
and motor neurone disease suerer Professor Stephen Hawking in James Marshs The
Theory of Everything. And we havent sat in
the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles again this
year, after being nominated for the same
award for playing Lili Elbe, one of the rst
people to undergo gender reassignment surgery, in Tom Hoopers The Danish Girl (and
we were not the rst nominee on our feet
applauding when it went instead to Leonardo DiCaprio for The Revenant). Nor did we
go for several months of this year to Leavesden Studios in Hertfordshire, which was
transformed into New York in the Twenties,
to play a magizoologist with a suitcase full of
supernatural critters in what is destined to
be one of the box oce-obliterating movies of the year: Fantastic Beasts and Where
to Find Them. Because Redmayne, for all
his carefully preserved normality, is leading
alife that is really anything but.
He did, to be fair, have an auspicious start.
He was raised in Chelsea, the middle of three
brothers, with an older half-sister and halfbrother from his fathers previous marriage.
His father, Richard, is in nance and has
been described as a City legend; his mother

Patricia, formerly a relocation specialist (Ican tell you what that is if you want!),
no longer works. He attended Eton and then
Cambridge, where he studied History of Art
at Trinity College. The Mail Online likes to
run stories about him with headlines such
as, How Eddie Redmayne went from riches
to riches or, The Oscar for outstanding
poshness goes to... etc. His background
is, says Redmayne, a particularly British
point of focus. In Hollywood they get over
it sooner. Usually its the quick question,
Oh my God, you went to school with Prince
William? Thats it.
Much like his Royal schoolmate, Redmayne is something of a model Englishman:
just the sort of impeccably decent fellow
youd want to represent us in front of the rampant Hollywood hordes. Unspeakably polite,
impossibly self-eacing, and yes, delightfully posh. Maybe its a testament to his elite
education, or to the values instilled in him
by his parents, or to the fact his siblings provide a helpfully ego-deating commentary
to everything he does: when he appeared in
Edward Albees The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia? at
the Almeida Theatre in London in 2004, his
brothers were particularly keen to support
him. In the play Ihad to snog my dad [Jonathan Pryce], and my brothers used to come
to see it with my dad in order to watch his
face. However it came about, his niceness is
impressive. And disarming.
If youre a Redmayniac (which is, apparently, a thing), you might well know his CV
highlights. 1. Workhouse Boy Number 46
in Sam Mendes production of Oliver! when
he was at prep school. 2. Landing the role
of Viola in Mark Rylances all-male production of Twelfth Night while in his second
year at Cambridge. 3. Getting cast, in his
early twenties, as Angelina Jolies son in The
Good Shepherd, directed by Robert De Niro.
4. Winning an Olivier Award in the West
End, and then a Tony on Broadway, for his
role in John Logans play Red. 5. My Week
with Marilyn, a proper co-lead, in which he

He experienced his Oscar night in fast-forward: Suddenly

Cate Blanchetts on the stage and saying your name. Then
everything goes blank in your head and you try not to make
afool of yourself I think maybe I did make a complete fool
of myself and youre thinking, Wait a second: where am I?

173

>

Interview

played a production assistant chaperoning

Michelle Williamss Marilyn Monroe. 6. Stephen Wraysford in the BBC adaptation of
WWI romance Birdsong. 6. Marius in Tom
Hoopers Les Misrables. And so on: because
there hasnt been so much a turning point in
his career as a gradual ratcheting up, a moving through the gears, as agents, directors,
actors and audiences have become increasingly aware of his abilities.
In potted form it all looks very easy, his
progression, though there was a fallow
period after university when he did bar work
and silver service, the low point of which
was working at the British Soap Awards,
he says. Basically, the guests would come
into one studio and youd feed them alcohol to get them really drunk, then youd get
them into another studio to watch the soap
awards, the idea being that they were super
rowdy and that made great television. On
their way into the other studio they had to
hand their empties in, and all the guys from
Hollyoaks piled theirs on my tray. I remember one of them went, Check this out! and
put another one on top and I said, Please
dont And they smashed over. I remember feeling pretty deathly. And who was it?
Jambo? Kurt? I cant remember, he says,
not entirely convincingly. Ive got a visual
I think theyre long gone.
But perhaps there was one turning point,
which did tip Redmayne from nice chap
to have involved in a project to must-have
leading man. The Theory of Everything was
the rst time a lm was entirely dependent on him; not only to show up for work, to
learn his lines, to be nice to the sta in craft
services, but to give the kind of performance
that portrays an extraordinarily gifted person experiencing an extraordinary physical
decline, while also making you understand
it wasnt a lm about illness, but about love.
When I got cast in The Theory of
Everything, I remember James Marsh said
that I could have as long a prep time as
I wanted, but with the acknowledgement
that if I didnt get it right, the lm wouldnt
work, says Redmayne. I had to step up, to
stop placating other peoples needs, and say,
Actually, do you know what? I need a voice
coach. I need a movement coach. I want to
go to meet all the people that are associated
with this lm. It made me have more clarity
to know what I need to work well. What gave
me the condence to ask for that was knowing the stakes were too high.
It was the role that won him the Oscar
and altered forever, reportedly, the shape of
his spine. The Oscar night itself, he experienced in fast-forward. Suddenly, Cate Blanchetts on the stage and saying your name.
Then everything goes blank in your head
and you try not to make a fool of yourself

I think maybe I did make a complete fool

of myself and then youre spun to a press
conference and journalists from around the
world are asking you, How do you feel? and
the last one is this Australian journalist and
he says, So I hear your inspiration was Jackie
So-and-so, and he names the actors who
played Susan and Karl Kennedy on Neighbours, because Id once said in an interview
how I was obsessed with Neighbours as a kid
and theyre kind of my idols, and suddenly
someones asking me about Susan and Karl
Kennedy and Im going, Wow, yeah, theyre
great, and Im thinking, Wait a second:

174

Where am I? WHAT AM I DOING?

The Theory of Everything was also the
lm that, in somewhat crasser terms, made
Redmayne properly bankable. After university, he was cast opposite Julianne Moore in
a lm called Savage Grace about the incestuous relationship between an heiress and
her schizophrenic son. Then the lm lost
its nancing, and it was only when he heard
of a friend auditioning for a role Redmayne was working in The Builders Arms
pub in Chelsea at the time that he realised the lm was back on, but without him
in it. I remember calling my agent who said,

Interview

Brown tweed coat,

3,800; white cotton
T-shirt, 255; black wool
cropped trousers, 860;
brown leather belt,
260; black cotton
ribbed socks, 70, all
byPrada. Black polished
leather trainers, 305,
by Churchs

If youve seen them, or even read about

them, you may have noticed a couple of similarities between Redmaynes last two lms.
Its another reason hes keen to detail their
tangled genesis: that he had already signed
up to play Elbe before being cast as Hawking, even though the Hawking lm came out
rst. Both lms feature a drastic physical
transformation, are based on the lives of real
individuals, and required a heroically committed performance by the lead actor. One
more and he risks becoming that transformation guy, in the same way that Welsh
actor Michael Sheens run of portraying
Kenneth Williams, Tony Blair, David Frost
and Brian Clough left him having to explain
seemingly for all eternity that he wasnt
just doing impressions. So, what should
Redmayne do next? Go big? Go home? Hes
gone big. Very big.

The nancier behind the lm doesnt think

youre a big enough name, and your name is
not on the list of bankability. Theres a list,
apparently. I ew myself over to New York,
I auditioned and auditioned and got cast
again, but got told that this nancier had
again said no. It ended up being Julianne
Moore ghting for me to do the part. She
was incredibly kind to me, really put her
neck out.
The same thing might have happened
a few years later, while he was lming Les
Misrables, and was cast in The Danish Girl.
At that point, The Danish Girl did not have

the nancial backing it needed to start production. Then The Theory of Everything
came out and hey presto, The Danish Girl got
the go-ahead. Redmaynes name was now
among those that could get a lm made. Not
that hell exactly admit it. So, that was the
rst time but I dont know whether that
youd have to speak to the Working Title
guys [Eric Fellner and Tim Bevan, the lms
producers] to know whether it became easier
to nance the lm on the back of it.
Does he know where he appears on the
bankability list now? No! And its one thing
that actors should never ever be able to see.

175

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find

Them is the rst in a new lm franchise that
delves back into the world of Harry Potter.
The title of the lm is also that of a textbook
Harry is instructed to read at Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry you
know the place written by a magizoologist
called Newt Scamander. In 2001, JK Rowling wrote an actual textbook of the same
name, purportedly by Scamander, in aid of
Comic Relief. Now its a lm, Redmayne is
playing Newt, and that whole world of wizards, witches, owls, wands and unsatisfactory ball games is opening up again.
But things are at least a little dierent this time. The supporting cast includes
some less familiar names in major roles
Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler alongside faces who are new to Potter, including
Colin Farrell and Jon Voigt. The lm is set in
Manhattan, 70 years before Harry, Hermione and Ron found their way to Platform 93/4,
at a time when magic is outlawed and the
last thing anyone needs is for a foppish English wizard with a bottomless bag of supernatural beasties to arrive in town at the end

>

Black wool doublebreasted coat, 2,580;

grey cashmere jumper,
710; black wool cropped
trousers, 860; black
cotton ribbed socks, 70,
all by Prada. Black
polished leather trainers,
305, by Churchs

of a round-the-world study trip, and for those

supernatural beasties to somehow escape
and run rampant around New York, doing
absolutely nothing to aid the wizarding communitys attempts at discretion.
Among the supernatural beasties are nifers (a mixture between a platypus and
a honey badger who is obsessed with shiny
things) and bowtruckles (its like a little
stick insect), plus hippogris and swooping evils and all sorts of other made-up
creatures with silly names that Redmayne
is expected to talk about to journalists
with a straight face. (Which he, of course,
does.) Shooting scenes with them invariably involved a lot of green screen, though
director David Yates was keen to give Redmayne any props he needed to act to, because
I dont have the imagination, he says
which ranged from huge War Horse-style
puppets to dainty Alberto Giacometti-like
sculptures to, in the case of the scenes with
the nier, a 6ft 3in animator called Pablo.
Redmayne has had a run-in with Harry
Potter before. While at Cambridge he tried
out for the role of Tom Riddle in Harry
Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: It was
with the apprentice of the apprentice of
the apprentice of the casting director and
I didnt get beyond that rst audition, he
says. (The gig went to his fellow Cambridge
alumnus, Christian Coulson.) And then
Ihad years of slightly thinking there might
be a role in a Weasley I kind of loved Ron.
Idont know why.
But instead of becoming a peripheral
Weasley, Redmayne has come back to the
Potterverse (also, apparently, a thing) as
thelead. And instead of following in the footsteps of Daniel Radclie, an unknown when
cast in the rst movie whose subsequent
career has been boosted but also blighted by
the indelible zig-zag on his forehead, Redmayne comes to it with a reputation established and a career in robust health.
There are ve Fantastic Beast lms
planned, which at the moment are being
made at a rate of one every two years, meaning Redmayne potentially has the next

177

>

Interview

decade of his life more or less plotted out.

Hes also, if the reports of the sums commanded by Radclie, Emma Watson and
Rupert Grint by the end of the original Potter franchise are true, rich beyond his wildest dreams. The topic of money brings out
his most Hugh Grant-esque Englishness:
Idont know how one navigates the gosh,
how do you answer that. Thats but, um.
Im very lucky. Its the closest hes come to
seeming stumped. (And really, hes not, he
just doesnt want to talk specics and why
would he.)
Because generally, when it comes to
interviews, Redmayne is good. I mean, Jesus
hes good. Not a person gets named without
being carefully praised, be it his early co-star
the actress Toni Collette (formidable) to the
director Nick Park for whom he is currently
voicing an animated lm (utter kindness
and gentleness), to the Neighbours actors
who play the aforementioned Susan and
Karl Kennedy (both amazing) to former
Saturday Kitchen host James Martin: His
ability to do a live show while cooking, while
interviewing someone, was ingenious.
(When I mimic Martins interview style to
suggest how it often sounded like he had, at
best, skimmed the rst paragraph of his subjects Wikipedia entry, Redmayne is quick
to defend him: Watch other people try and
you realise how hard it is. That was a very
good impression by the way. It wasnt.)
In his world, things arent good; theyre
riveting. People arent nice; theyre extraordinary. Hes a jolly storyteller and a compulsive worrier. We discuss, for longer than
readers of Esquire would care to know, the
dark arts of sleep-training babies. When
we talk about him going to the Rio Olympics with Hannah and Iris he is an ambassador for Omega watches he says he was
worried that Iris might cry, and there could
be Olympians on the plane, who might have
been kept awake, And what if they didnt
run well? And its basically Iriss fault? (She
made barely a peep.)
When I ask about his previous experiences with animals apropos Fantastic
Beasts, he says, Im really allergic to cats,
which is a bit awful. Its really embarrassing,
whenever youre near a cat to have to take
an antihistamine, and I honestly think he
might mean he feels bad for the cat.
You have to hand it to him. Because it
takes a lot of eort to remain a thoroughly
pleasant, appealing human being while
also representing one of the biggest lm
franchises of the era and working in an
industry in which, by his own admission,
astounding behaviour will be allowable.
Because it is weird, his life. Increasingly so.
For a large portion of our interview, awoman
in a cagoule stands on the pavement

Navy double-wool
double-breasted
peacoat, 2,170,
byPrada

outside the restaurant window, slowly eating a packet of crisps and watching us.
Or rather, him. I ask if hes bothered; he
shrugs it o.
A couple of weeks before we meet, The
Sun had run pictures of him and a good
friend, the actor Jamie Dornan, coming out
of Tesco during a weekend in the country.
Hed had no idea hed been photographed.
Hes at the level of fame where things like
that start happening, and the best thing to
do is not think about it, because, as he says,
your mind starts going to a weird place.
Perhaps one of the most telling things
about Redmayne I learn while working on
this story is not something that happens
during the interview itself, but a fact that is
mentioned in passing after the accompanying photoshoot, which took place in Dunge-

It is weird, his life. For a large

portion of the interview, a
woman in a cagoule stands
on the pavement outside
the restaurant window,
slowly eating a packet of
crisps, watching us. Or
rather, him. I ask if hes
bothered; he shrugs it off

ness on the Kent coast. As is so often the way

with such things, the organisational details
got more and more complicated as the day
drew nearer, until it was decided, somehow, that the only way to get Redmayne to
the relatively remote location and back in
good time would be to y him by helicopter
from London. The helicopter would take o
somewhere near the A40 to the north west of
the city, before stopping at the Isle of Dogs

178

in the east, near Redmaynes Bermondsey

at, and then continuing on to Dungeness.
And so it came to pass: The most indulgent
way to travel to a photoshoot ever, as Redmayne described it; only, on the way back he
suggested to the pilot that they skip the extra
stop at the Isle of Dogs and continue back
to the helicopter base o the A40, on completely the wrong side of London from where
he ultimately needed to be, because hed

Interview

never been in a helicopter before and come

on, how often do you get to y across the city
of your birth in a goddamn chopper?
Because Eddie Redmayne does an excellent impression of a young man who is
making a conscious eort to see the entertainment business for what it is, without
forgetting to acknowledge the parts that
are extraordinary, or occasionally, riveting.
Who recognises that professionalism goes

a long way, and a kind word or a carelessly

placed empty can make someones future, or
ruin their night. And who remembers, most
of all, that in life, its nice to be nice.
But now our interview is done, and Redmayne picks up his knapsack and heads for
the tube at Baker Street to nd out if Hannah
has managed to break into their at. Perhaps on the journey he can read a bit more
of The Last Days of Night by Graham Moore,

179

a novel about Thomas Edison and George

Westinghouses battle over the electrication of America in the late 19th century, the
lm adaptation of which he is due to star in
early next year. And while he reads his book,
and thinks about his next character, he will
do his best to ignore, from the seats around
him, the proliferating ashes of light.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
isout on 18 November

Interview

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

The girl with all the gifts

La Seydoux the only woman to have seduced both James Bond

and the jury at the Cannes Film Festival is not the girl next door.
Unless you happen to live in the right arrondissement
180

Interview

La Seydoux
photographed
forEsquire US, Paris,
20June 2016
Opposite: sweater
byLouisVuitton.
Jewellery by
Charlotte Chesnais

Interview by

Photographs by

Lauren Collins

Horst Diekgerdes
181

Interview

split up when she was three, and

Dress by LouisVuitton

shes spoken of a solitary and melOpposite: swimsuit by

Y-Project. Trousers by
Pallas Paris. Jewellery
by Charlotte Chesnais

ancholic childhood that didnt

have enough rules. She first
sought the help of a psychologist
at the age of 14. When she realised, several years later, that she
wanted to become an actor, her
familys stature seemed less like
afree ticket than an extra piece of
baggage. In France, its hard to
become someone on your own,
she says. Even if youre a superstar, they will always say, Yeah,
but you come from that world. Its
dicult to have ambition if you
live in Paris.
Good thing, then, that she is
finding an audience outside
France. You may remember her
performance if you saw it, you
will denitely remember it in
Abdellatif Kechiches Blue Is the
Warmest Colour (2013), for which
she was awarded the Palme dOr.
You may also remember how, at
the height of the lms triumph,
she publicly slammed Kechiche,
saying that the lming had made
her feel like a prostitute and that
shed never work with him again.
I think that I was angry and that
Ask about her siblings, how-

about Seydoux christened La

doux says. I really wanted to do

dictate that young + beautiful +

ever, and she grabs your phone to

Hlne Seydoux-Fornier de Clau-

it, because I love his work, but

French = ingnue. La Seydoux,

re up Instagram and starts surf-

sonne and once described as

Iknew this was the price to pay.

the 31-year-old Parisian actress,

ing her sisters feed. Then she gets

Bardot plus Binoche plus Kate

Maybe I felt strong because of the

has been called one in print

her own phone and pulls up pic-

Moss and sometimes all three at

lm and the success of the lm

at least 34,000 times. However,

tures of the monogrammed pil-

once is mature. Shes old

made me strong. Everyone was

a rainy afternoon with her in

lows from her familys African

world, old money, old-fashioned.

like, Kechiche, Kechiche,

acaf on the edge of the Parc de

cooperative that she made for

(No wonder Woody Allen, who

Kechiche, and I just wanted to

Buttes-Chaumont demonstrates

Marion Cotillard her co-star in

cast her in 2011s Midnight in

say, OK, hes not, like, untoucha-

that she is no innocent. Seydoux

Its Only the End of the World,

Paris as an antique dealer, has

ble. I wanted to say the truth, not

is as unsophisticated as a diplo-

directed by Xavier Dolan and

athing for her.) Her grandfather

for him but for me. I had a need.

mat, as guileless as a wolf. She is

Cotillards family. Seydouxs per-

is the chairman of the venerable

Its not something that I regret.

the kind of person who, tiring of

fect, chatty English is the legacy

French lm company Path; her

She loves working in America,

her fear of ying, marches herself

of six summers at Camp Timber

father founded the technology

where she feels the pressure

up to the ticket counter and buys

Ridge on the East Coast. (You

company Parrot; and her mother

less. But American men? Yeah,

aticket for the shortest ight leav-

know the marshmallow with the

lives part-time in Senegal, where

of course, why not? she says ini-

ing that day. (She ended up in

chocolate? And the rice with the

she runs a fair-trade charity. They

tially, pondering whether she

Lyon.) When I was young, I was so

marshmallow?) Her favourite

are pillars of the French establish-

could ever fall in love with one.

scared about death, she says. It

word in English is overwhelming.

ment, the sort of people who

But I dont nd them very there

was like I was in a kind of depres-

We think of the actress, per

invite Chiracs and Lvys and

is something not so sexy about

sion. I didnt know if life was worth

her archetype, as a fresh and sim-

Louboutins to their weddings.

A merican men. They are

living, and now I think that yes, it

ple soul, the girl from the prov-

But what Seydouxs childhood

too self-conscious and they

is. All this before having taken

inces drinking Champagne for

offered in privilege, she says, it

spendtoo much time at the gym.

asip of her chocolat chaud.

the first time. But everything

lacked in structure. Her parents

Yeah, not an ingnue.

182

Styling by Niki Pauls

I had to express my anger, SeyThe laws of journalism maths

Interview

183

Wisdom

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

What Ive Learned

Tom Ford
Mogul, 55
Interview by

Paul Wilson

184

Wisdom

Im good with actors because I used to be one

not a very good one. I was in a lot of television
commercials, if you can call that acting
Im tired of being me and Im ready to give

How do you get people to work for you?

more time to another person. Thats why Im

You hire the right ones and you give them the

so happy now to be a father to Jack, who just

space to do the things they need to do for you,

When I was drinking, I was drinking a lot,

turned four. Its absolutely the right time in my

especially if theyre creative. My work in fash-

and there was the other stu, too. After three

life. I couldnt have had a son when I was 40

ion certainly helped me be ready to direct

drinks Id try anything. Eventually, it got bad.

I was probably too drunk, for one thing.

amovie you work visually, you think care-

People would tell me it was bad, that I was bad,

fully about the way things look and how that

but I carried on. I was depressed but Italked to

Im a terrible tennis player but I play

impacts on people. I can manage large groups

a psychiatrist and a therapist and I stopped.

three times a week, if I can. Im too competi-

of people because thats what you do as the

Ihavent had a drink for seven years, andIreally

tive to play against friends, so I play the pro.

creative director of a fashion house. And Im

dont want to. I could make you a cocktail and

good with actors because I used to be one

you could drink it in front of me and I really

I am very spiritual. I was brought up

not a very good one. I was in a lot of television

would not want one. Clean living. Its great.

Presbyterian, went to a Jesuit school only

commercials, if you can call that acting.

Money cant buy you style. It really cant.

I have always loved clothes, but I had no

because it was the best one in the neighbourhood but Ive never been into organised reli-

Delete most of the emails you get. Dont

idea fashion was what I wanted to do. I was an

gion. Next to my bed I keep a copy of Tao Te

even open the ones you get from people you

actor, I studied architecture. It only happened

Ching, and every so often Ill read a bit. Even

dont know, or ones you dont need to reply to.

when I worked as an assistant at a fashion com-

just one line can be so powerfully truthful. Its

pany in France [Chlo]. You could say it was

only a slim volume, and if you get it, make sure

People in the press have mocked me

destiny: I would say its destiny. I believe in des-

you get the translation by Steen Mitchell.

for the number of hot baths I take every

tiny, and one thing Im going to do as a father is

day. Itused to be ve, but since Ive become

help my son to realise his destiny, to help him

London is wonderful. I love the people,

afather, its only two. Maybe three. But I de-

become the person hes supposed to be.

Ilove all the culture, I love the formality. There

nitely need to have a half-hour in the tub in the

was no need for me to move the Gucci design

morning, after I get up at 6am, just to lie there

I have had Botox. Ive not had any surgery.

studio from Italy to London. I did it because

and think. Thats my meditation.

The trick with Botox is just dont inject too

much of it. Ive actually had less of it recently.

I love it so much. I also love the quiet. Its so

quiet there. In New York, the taxis honk on

To maintain a long-term relationship

Exercise is the thing you need to do if you want

their horns Baap! Baap! Baap! Baap! Baap!

[Ford has been with Richard Buckley since

to keep looking good as you get older.

but not in London. The only problem is, Im

1986; they married in 2014] you have to be best

from the American West, and London doesnt

friends, you have to understand one another.

I went to Studio 54 with Andy Warhol

have the weather. If it did, it would be perfect.

And you also have to have had short-term rela-

and his crowd. Youd go there and if it wasnt

tionships before that, and as soon as you know

good, youd go to Xenon, then maybe back to

theyre wrong, you stop them and move on.

54, and so on. The Mudd Club was also great.

Men do not dress better now than they

did before. British and Italian men are well

Then, I was drinking and taking drugs, and

dressed, and so are some in New York. InLos

Im very happy at this point in my life.

had a great time. When youre 17, you can

Angeles they are definitely not. Wearing

Its where I pictured myself successful

do that. I made friends there who have been

shorts with jackets I never see that in Lon-

and happy. I was always very ambitious, and

close friends ever since. Recently, Diane von

don. As for ip-ops? Mens feet are not like

Iwanted to make a lot of money and have

Frstenberg came to dinner at the house.

womens, and women know what a pedicure is.

nice things. But I can see myself one day liv-

Irst met her then, in the Seventies.

ing asort of Georgia OKeee life, away from

It was only when I went to New York

everyone and without so many things. To be

All the characters I write in my screen-

when I was 17 that I realised I was gay. Before

honest, it feels a bit like we live away from

plays have a bit of me in them. It would be

then, I had girlfriends, I was happy with them

everyone now, even though we live between

impossible not to Im there speaking the

and they were happy with me. I suppose

Los Angeles and London. It can be done.

words and writing them down.

even existed back then. Then I went to New

Everything in my home used to be per-

I have worked very hard, but I have also

York, and it was, Oh. Right. Thats what it is.

fect. Now its not and Im OK with that. Per-

been very, very lucky.

fection used to be something I had to have

Nocturnal Animals, directed by Tom Ford,

The one thing I do less of, now Im

everywhere, and now Ive realised it isnt

isoutnow

afather, is industry events. I would say that

important. I do my work and then see Rich-

I turn down 90 per cent of them. If you dont

ard and Jack as much as I can. There are more

need to be somewhere, then dont go.

important ways to spend the time you have.

Ididnt really imagine that homosexuality

185

Read more in our series of What Ive

Learned interviews at esquire.co.uk

December 2016

Fashion

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

Softly, softly
This season, designers opt for a luxurious take on off-dutycasuals.
On a layover in New York, outspoken British screen star
DavidOyelowo demonstrates the smart way to take it easy

Photographs by

Fashion by

Blair Getz Mezibov

Catherine Hayward

186

December 2016

Richard
James
Red/white/blue
wool roll-neck
jumper, 595;
tealbrushed wool
trousers, 275, both
by Richard James

187

December 2016

Fashion

Brunello
Cucinelli
Grey suede hooded
vest, 3,080; blue
checked wool suit,
5,120; white cotton
T-shirt, 180, all by
Brunello Cucinelli.
42 mm 18k amber
hue gold Parlay
watch on black
crocodile leather
strap, 19,250,
byChrisAire

Paul Smith
Navy satin bomber
jacket, 915; navy/
white wool-silk
jumper, 475, both
by PaulSmith

188

December 2016

Fashion

189

December 2016

J Crew

Fashion

Navy herringbone
wool coat, 625;
blue denim shirt,
100; blue denim
jeans, 125; brown
leatherbelt, 45,
all by JCrew

When people meet David Oyelowo, they

A United Kingdom, a mid-20th century bio-

are often surprised at how slim he is; Oyelowos

graphical romance intertwined with a nasty

intoyour life in amore self-possessed state.

Such confidence serves Oyelowo well.

most high-prole big screen role to date was

episode at the tail end of British imperialism,

Graduating from drama school, he told his

as Dr Martin Luther King Jr in Selma (2014).

is the most likely to be up for awards. In it,

agent to send him all the roles offered to

Certainly in the States, I constantly get, wow,

Oyelowo plays a prince of the British protec-

white male actors (as Denzel Washington had

you dropped some weight as if Ilook like Dr

torate Bechuanaland (now Botswana) who,

done). He broke through on TV in the BBC spy

King all the time, says the actor. The compli-

while studying in London, marries a white

drama Spooks but moved to LA when he felt

ment is twofold: acknowledging the40-year-

British woman (Rosamund Pike).

hed hit the glass ceiling for black actors here.

olds current gym-t form and reecting the

Aptly, Oyelowo has royal lineage. His

This year, hes starred in Queen of Katwe,

impact he made as Dr King. Despite that tow-

grandfather was the king of a western part of

a Disney lm with a black heroine, the true

ering performance, he was controversially

Nigeria but as a boy, Oyelowo experienced lit-

tale of a Ugandan girl who becomes a chess

snubbed at the 2015 Oscars (director Ava

tle in the way of stately trappings. He was sent

master. Hes produced and starred in aNina

DuVernay didnt get a nod either).

to boarding school before the family returned

Simone biopic and has a Sugar Ray Robinson

That film really taught me something

to London when he was a teenager. Back in

lm in development.

about perspective, Oyelowo says. The per-

the UK, Oyelowo caught the acting bug when

spective that Ava had [meant] I saw the female

he fell for agirl who was in adrama group.

I have very real ambitions of playing

aboxer, says Oyelowo. Whether I get to play

characters become more three-dimensional.

After starting in theatre, Oyelowo became

him [Sugar Ray Robinson] or I should say,

Isaw Dr King become not just a political g-

the rst black actor to play an English king

whether I choose to play him or end up just

ure but an emotional human being. Having

in a Royal Shakespeare Company produc-

producing that one thats something that

a character that went through Ava DuVer-

tion when starring in Henry VI. Ive never

remains to be seen, he says, a man accruing

nays female, African-American and incred-

felt subservient or in any way lesser than any-

considerable clout.

ibly talented perspective [meant] a much

one around me, he says. Despite having

richer character and a much better lm.

afairly working- to middle-class upbringing,

Oyelowo has consciously decided to work

the notion of being royalty psychologically

with female directors on his last four releases.

denitely does something to you that you go

190

Interview by Colin Crummy

A United Kingdom is out on 25 November

December 2016

Fashion

Ralph Lauren
Navy suede jacket,
1,305; navy wool
turtleneck sweater,
260, both by
RalphLauren

191

December 2016

Fashion

Coach
Navy leather/shearling
motorcycle jacket, 1,750;
navy camouflage cotton
sweatshirt, 195, bothby
Coach. Navy pinstripe
cashmere trousers,580,
byBrunello Cucinelli

Photographers assistant: Ricardo Fernandes

Fashion assistant: Donika Hoxhaj
Digital tech: Chris Luttrell
Grooming: Jessica Ortiz at The Wall Group
using SundayRiley

192

December 2016

Giorgio Armani
Navy cashmere coat,
3,150; navy wool
blazer, 1,750; grey
viscose T-shirt, 200;
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193

Essay

Themselves
Brangelina: a critical appreciation
By David Thomson

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

194

Essay

195

Can we agree to do this without recrimination or mockery? Brad Pitt and Angelina
Jolie had been together (more or less) for
11years in a situation where its hard enough
to be married, next to impossible for two talented actors to exist as if they dont have to
be the centre of attention, and hideous if
the vulture internet insists you are the most
famous celebrity couple in the world and
then waits to break you up.
So, the poor wretches can rest now; and
surely they deserve it. But we deserve some
peace, too. They have been living ghosts for
a couple of years how could they still be
excited at being together? How could they
put their legendary heads together on a pillow and not listen for the cameras click, or
gossips whisper? I wish them nothing but
good fortune. I feel sympathy for all the children do we have to look up just how many
there are? But I could handle a stretch without having to think about them, let alone sit
through such calamities as By the Sea (2015).
Recalling that lush but ponderous SOS
for divorce lawyers gives you a clue: Brangelina didnt click together on screen, but neither did Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman,
or Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.
I know, Mr & Mrs Smith has a reputation
for scandal, because something happened
there that shouldnt have. But that works
once. Famous lovers hired to do it again are
often a let-down. Its those sneaky rst-time
aairs that count, like Michael Fassbender
and Alicia Vikander in The Light Between
Oceans, wondering what else there was to
do on a boring job. Kissing can be best when
youre doing it with people you shouldnt be
kissing. The priest saying, You may kiss the
bride, can be death by permission.
I believe Burton and Taylor were in love
(you feel it in his Diaries), but their movies
work when theyre ghting. What would you
give to see Brangelina in their home-movie
version of Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
The best romantic movies are ones in which
strangers look at each other and seem to say
(like Bogart and Bacall in To Have and Have
Not, and they faded after two glories), God,
would I like to get my hands on him/her?
while arguing, But wouldnt it be a crazy
dream, especially when I have an agent, lawyers, drivers, secretaries, child-minders,
nancial advisers, personal trainers, dietitians and any casual fuck I want?

If you have the entourage, what room is

left for a spouse? So the odds were long that
Brangelina could stay hot on screen. By the
Sea is truly about lovers who want escape.
Why they did that hopeless lm only teaches
you about the desperation in hope. My curiosity over Pitt and Jolie is xed on what they
are going to do next; in turn, that asks us to
consider what theyve done already. Apart
from being Brangelina, who are they?
The Jolie performance that means the
most to me is in 1999s Girl, Interrupted. She
won every prize for it, including supporting actress Oscar, as the bad girl in the asylum, a charismatic sociopath, both beautiful
and unstable. There was no doubting her
sex appeal or intelligence, but something
in Jolie was unwilling to settle for sweetness or likeability. She had the swagger of
afemme fatale that signalled roles like Lara
Croft and Malecent in which humanity
began to cross over into comic-book extremism and abaleful need for authority. Lisa in
Girl, Interrupted wanted to run others lives
and that domineering energy became more
pervasive in Jolie. Her own humourlessness was ready for Lisa but being short on
irony is peril for an actor. Doing your own
intense thing can go stale very fast.
In those early days, she was more versatile an actress than she would prove to be
later. She was striking as the second wife
in the 1997 TV biopic George Wallace, and
relaxed enough to show a genuine spunky
charm in the Denzel Washington lm The
Bone Collector, a fanciful story but a guilty
pleasure for many people (OK, me). She
plays a rookie cop who takes the fancy of
abrilliant tetraplegic investigator (Washington) who enlists her as his plucky assistant.
Her great eyes bloomed in the watchfulness required of the role. More than that,
an old principle was renewed: women like
being with Denzel on screen; it may go further. The tetraplegic and the kid triumph,
of course, and though Washingtons character can only move one nger there is the
plain suggestion they are in love by the end
of their adventure. I couldnt believe the real
Jolie would settle for that single-nger deal,
but she has rapport with Denzel and a mischievous fondness.

196

By then, Jolie was known, if not exactly

liked. She had regal looks but not too much
warmth. Her public life was coloured by
having taken Brad from Jennifer Aniston (it
must surely have been as much Brads fault),
but he was notably popular, if not lovable.
Jolie identied with political causes and
made many public statements: reasonable
and deserving issues, but a note of self-righteousness was creeping in. And when she
played Mariane Pearl in A Mighty Heart,
there was too much feeling she was the wife
of a martyr, a set-piece for pathos more than
a living character. That attitude to life was
borne out in the six children (biological and
adopted), all, apparently, speaking their
own languages and beginning to be a small
League of Nations. Or chaos? It felt as if Jolie
was more set on a career in politics or public
action than as an actress.
I know, she became a director, and
showed genuine aptitude for the job. There
are action scenes in Unbroken that are
very well shot and edited. Even By the Sea
does the erotics of voyeurism with a creepy
Hitchcockian instinct. That said, Unbroken is preoccupied with cruelty in a way
that does not feel digested or understood.
(Icould say the same thing for some lms by
David Fincher.)
But the sense of violence or damage
is oppressive in Jolies work, and if I ever
ended up counselling her artistic soul,
I would say it was an area she needs to
explore. There is some unnished anger
in this director, and I can see how it might
exercise itself in lms about appalling
wrongs done to people. (She has a new project, about a woman suering cruelty in
Cambodia from the Khmer Rouge, that
sounds like evidence for a UN tribunal
rather more than for our Odeons.)
Thats not mockery. Theres every reason
now to feel we require lms about enormous
public issues just because we hardly trust
regular entertainment any more in aworld
of disasters. I can easily see Angelina
Jolie becoming a public voice somewhere
between Mother Teresa and Joan Crawford
and the gap there may not be as great as it
seems. She needs to be on her own, like agurehead. That has always been her sense of
the world and her place in it. I suspect she
believes she has been wronged in life.

Rex

Essay

Brangelina didnt click together on

screen, but neither didCruise
andKidman, or Burton andTaylor

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt as married

assassins in Mr & Mrs Smith (2005)

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt as a couple trying

toxtheir marriage in By the Sea (2015)

How could they put their legendary

headstogether on apillow and not
listenfor the gossips whisper?

Rex

Essay

Brad Pitt is so much more gregarious and

relaxed, even if that mob of kids sometimes
threatened his calm. He is a movie star, no
doubt about it, but he has hardly pushed
himself forward. He would probably have
done more Oceans lms if those guys were
up for it. He has been available as a very
useful, encouraging producer behind the
scenes: a short list of lms he has enabled
includes A Mighty Heart, The Tree of Life,
Moneyball, World War Z, 12 Years a Slave,
Fury, Selma, Moonlight and The Lost City of
Z. Thats a considerable record and I have
never heard a word to say that he has been
intrusive, unreliable or dicult on any venture not that dicult is any more out of
line in a producer than it can be in an actress.
So many of his movies as an actor draw
on that team spirit. Fury is an oddly apocalyptic World War II lm in which Pitt is the
commander of an ill-assorted US tank crew.
In a way, his role is a stock gure, not so
far from a John Wayne stereotype, but Pitt
inhabits the part and takes it into areas of
unexpected depth. When he and the crews
rookie eat a meal with two German women,
Pitt is at-out brilliant as a sergeant no
longer quite in charge, deeply troubled by
the unholy war, but trying to do his best for
the young people. Fury didnt get too much
attention but it was made with care to the
point of love, and Pitt was the bankable element that got it made and made a hit out
of it. He is the kind of actor easily taken for
granted when hes doing more profound
work than some Oscar-winners.
He works steadily enough to have accumulated his share of duds. I never want to
go near The Curious Case of Benjamin Button again, though he works so earnestly in it
that you feel tired, more than just old. I think
his Achilles in Troy is a strenuous bore, and
Moneyball is an overrated lm. The Billy
Beane it portrays was far from a baseball
genius at the Oakland As, yet Pitt looked
complacent and a touch smug, as if he really
believed he was playing a mastermind.
On the other hand, his work in Fight Club,
Se7en and Inglourious Basterds is the kind of
male genre acting that is easily overlooked.
Its plain that Morgan Freeman and Kevin
Spacey are tours de force in Se7en, and it
can seem that Pitts young cop is the standard middle-ground holding place for them.

But his zeal, his rage and his love for his
wife ow together in a tragic performance.
In Fight Club, he presents a boyish demon, a
warped Hemingwayesque hero, yet a master
of mayhem. That is the lm where Pitt lives
up to all the early estimates (from Thelma
& Louise on) that he was James Dean-ish.
No one forgets his cowboy rascal in that
road lm for women, or his adroit wooing of
Geena Davis, and the fresh lift he gives her
before absconding with a large tip.
But still, I have not mentioned Pitt at his
most remarkable. I have problems with the
aspirations or pretensions of Terrence Malicks The Tree of Life, but Pitts Mr OBrien
stern yet soft at heart is one of the most
appealing fathers in American lm. Its
not just that he supports the performances
of the boys (his three sons). Its more he is
one of them. That character leads the sympathetic mind back into some of the great
American novels, to William Faulkner,
Willa Cather and Flannery OConnor. That
Pitt could do much more than he has ventured yet.
Though in one instance, he has gone
further and it is something still not much
remarked on. His tness instructor in
the Coen Brothers Burn After Reading is
acomic creation of a high order. Its as if the
often gradual or leisurely Pitt (he is from
rural Oklahoma) had found a dierent gear
of pomp, pique and being empty-headed.
Moreover, playing an idiot can be beyond
the reach or comfort of so many actors.
Idont nd it easy to imagine Jolie pretending to be a fool or a dullard; she is so anxious
to have our respect. But Pitt works out of
alarger security: I think he could do adventurous comedy if anyone was prepared to
write and direct top-class screwball for him.
Jolie did take on the role of a simple woman in Changeling, as the mother
who loses a son and then has to insist that
a recovered child is not hers. She got an
Oscar nomination for the part but I nd the
performance hard to swallow. Director Clint
Eastwood cast Jolie because he felt she had
a Depression-era look; I dont see that and
Idont think the actress knew how to drop
her sophistication. Eastwood is not the
man to explore the mind of an inarticulate
woman and I have to think other actresses
could have been more credible and thus
more touching.

199

Pitt is executive producer on two upcoming television series: one about the feud
between Joan Crawford and Bette Davis
(to be played by Jessica Lange and Susan
Sarandon), and the other on the expeditions
of Meriwether Lewis and William Clark in
180406. As far as I can see, he acts in neither of them, though he does appear on
screen (opposite Marion Cotillard and
they seem to have chemistry together) in
Allied, directed by Robert Zemeckis and
written by the invaluable Steven Knight.
Meanwhile, Jolie is monopolised by stories about wronged women in dangerous
parts of the world. Shes said she was never
comfortable acting and has said she will
not act again on screen, and is not the only
actress of her age (41) to feel inclined to
thatdecision.
Time will tell. Angelina Jolie may nd
a life and some sort of career on the public stage, addressing grievous wrongs. But
that can prove a long and barely rewarding path for someone raised to the melodramatic conclusiveness of movies that last two
hours. Is she really ready to be bored and
disappointed and written o by the public?
I have a feeling that by 50, say, Jolie will have
become re-energised as an actress. Its hard
to think her imperious bone structure will
go, and her talent probably comes from deep
neurotic springs that will never be resolved.
Some tempting parts are going to come
along, though perhaps she should let someone else direct. But dont believe shes going
to fade away or stop being talked about.
By the time Jolie is 50, Pitt will be turning 61. I suspect by then his eminence will
be clear and decisive. Hell have an acting
Oscar to go with the one he shared for producing 12 Years a Slave. He may be as much
a father-gure to the industry as Clint Eastwood has been for the last 20 years, while
being funnier and more human than Clint.
Is it really beyond the powers of belief that
someone will come along (it might be Lena
Dunham) to suggest that they reunite as
George and Martha in a remake of Whos
Afraid of Virginia Woolf? They likely know
the lines pretty well already. Whats more,
by then our notions of gender and casting
will be that much more exible so that he
can play Martha with her as George.

Wisdom

FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

What Ive Learned

Ricky
Gervais

Interview by

Funnyman, 55

Ben Mitchell

200

Wisdom

Ricky Gervais is my real name. Why would I invent

aname like that? First name of a puppy, second name
of a French fop. Id call myself Hank Bangley
A manual is to be put in the bottom

75. He got up at half-ve every day. I didnt have

A comedian can tell 100 great one-lin-

drawer never to be opened. If I cant work

any money growing up but I didnt feel I was

ers and you laugh, but those jokes will always

something out then I dont want it.

poor because I had everything I wanted.

be as good as if you read them because theyre

Dont view success as anything other

Everything Ive done is a little bit exis-

on stage and tell me what a fucking terrible day

than happiness. If youre happy then nothing

tential. Its all about people wondering if

hes had. Now weve got life. Now weve got

elsematters.

theyve done the right thing.

meaning. I can learn from that.

I grew up loving every creature. If I saw

Ive never understood the psychology of

It doesnt worry me that one day Im not

a toad in my garden, it was a privilege that Id

wanting to see an animal suffer. When a vet

going to exist any more. I cherish being alive.

bumped into this amazing wild animal. We all

puts down a cat thats in pain its the kind thing

Im like a dog. Every day is my best day.

have the same amount of rights to be on this

to do. The vet doesnt then lie next to the cat

planet and were all just trying to survive.

and take a selfie. A vet has never said, Can

Whats the secret to a long and happy rela-

Isee if I can do it with abow and arrow?

tionship? My favourite answer came from Larry

a play on words. I want someone to shue out

Hagman. He said, Separate bathrooms.

Indie-folk has always been my thing.

Real songs. You can have all the amazing,

I taught myself tennis, secretly, in the gym

weird technology but someone telling you

at school. I just hit a ball against the wall.

astory to music will never be beaten.

I wouldnt say the best film is The Godfather because thats subjective, but I would say it

The funniest bloke in the pub might

is my favourite lm and no one can argue.

People who hate the c-word would hear

think, If I got on stage Id be good. Well, youve

it less if they didnt go around acting like cunts.

got to try it rst. Its the same when people say,

When I first went to college I was in digs.

Swearings easy. Anyone can get a laugh out of

A bath on the meter cost about the same as the

I enjoy food because it tastes good. I dont

swearing. Go on then. Do it at Madison Square

launderette. So, I had abath with my six white

enjoy food thats good for me. I dont enjoy let-

Garden. See what they think about that.

shirts, put some Daz in and wriggled around.

tuce. I dont enjoy pure protein. I enjoy pasta

Itwas like an exfoliation session at a spa. I came

with half a pound of Parmesan on it and a bot-

I cry at happy things more than sad things.

tle of red wine; if I didnt then I wouldnt have to

Ill cry at The Waltons.

work out like Rocky every day. Being healthy, to

me, is dying as slowly as you can. Thats all it is.

out with red legs. The shirts were ne.

Theres nothing funny about being suc-

If I had my way Id have three track-

cessful. In my new stand-up I come out and

suits, three pairs of pyjamas and lots of black

go, I dont need to do this. Do you know how

Ricky Gervais is my real name. Why would

T-shirts... Ive just described my wardrobe.

rich I am? I could have this place burned down

I invent a name like that? I wouldnt come up

Iwear things until theyre worn out and then

for a laugh. Im confronting the elephant in

with something weird and fey, first name of

Iwish Id bought two of them. I gave up fashion

the room. I go, Journalists ask, How much

apuppy or a child, second name of a French

at 28. I just want comfort.

is apint of milk? I want to say, I dont know,

fop. Id call myself Hank Bangley.

mate, but heres a grand. Run and get me one.

The more you find out, the more you need

I cant stand incompetence. You know

Just because youre offended by some-

when you buy a tent and theres one peg missing? Ill never get over that.

You wouldnt think that would work but it does.

to know.
Anything can irritate me. Ive walked

thing doesnt mean youre right.

out of a restaurant before because there was

No one needs to work. You work because

a group of lads and one of them laughed and

David Brent would be cooler if he was just

you want the things it gives you. I dont just

clapped his hands. Affecting other peoples

himself, like we all would.

mean the ability to buy mansions and boats;

peace and quiet, thats what I cant stand. Late-

I mean self-worth and fun. Theres nothing

ness kills me, too. Theres no reason to be late.

I dont get why people say things like, Oh

Id rather be doing than writing and directing

There was trac! Theres always trac

no! Dont tell me James Blunts bringing out

and stand-up. I mean, thats allowed me to buy

another album! Hes not going to come round

mansions and boats but when Im in the man-

I didnt appreciate how amazing my mum

your house, tie you down and make you listen

sion or the boat Im thinking of a funny joke.

was at the time. She was a gardener, a cook,

to it.

acleaner, a dressmaker. Incredible. When you

David Brent: Life on the Road is out now to buy

I was born in Battle Hospital, Reading,

get your own house you think, Wheres all

25 June 1961. Son of a labourer and a housewife.

the cleaning stu? What do you mean, I need

My dad worked on building sites until he was

abin? Where do you buy a bin from?

201

Read more in our series of What Ive

Learned interviews at esquire.co.uk

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City
FILM + STYLE SPECIAL

Photographs by

Alan Clarke
Fashion by

Catherine Hayward
For inclement weather, former Doctor
Who Matt Smith prescribes a mix of
traditional tailoring and sports-inspired
pieces fit for business and leisure

December 2016

Fashion

slicker

203

December 2016

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Dolce & Gabbana

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204

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He grew up in the East Midlands and has

crowd-pleaser. After school, National Youth

hes done. When youre emasculated like that,

taken the Tardis to the ends of the universe,

Theatre and a drama/creative writing degree,

what else can you fall back on but your wit?

yet Matt Smith has a soft spot for all things

he worked on the stage and in small roles on

There is, of course, a scene of Smiths

Mancunian. During a pleasant afternoon in

middling BBC dramas. Then, on 3 January

Philip insulting a tribesman on a royal walk-

his company, the 34-year-old actor outlines his

2009, he was conrmed as the new Doctor

about, akin to the many misplaced attempts

fondness for the Gallagher brothers (the music

Who and got very famous immediately.

at humour that have come to dene the duke

and the mouthings-off), Steve Coogan (ie,

Partridge) and, of course, Mick Hucknall.

Fame is a weird thing in many ways, he

in later life. Otherwise, Smiths turn as the

says. Nothing prepares you for it, and I still

younger version is surprising: the unknown

Look, Smith says, in defence of, for

dont really know what it is. Im still quite

side of one of the most famous men alive.

many, the indefensible, I was on holiday and

reluctant to admit that it is a thing in my life.

The Crown is planned for six, 10-episode

I was by the pool, on Tidal, thinking, What is

The Doctor made him British TV royalty

seasons; Smith is signed up for the rst two.

good pool music? and it came down to Simply

and here he is now as the Duke of Edinburgh

Beyond that? I think theyre going to switch

Red. Moneys too Tight (to Mention): what

in The Crown, Netixs expensive and expan-

and recast someone older. I dont fancy hours

a song. The track is one of an eclectic range

sive retelling of the last 70 years of the Royal

in the chair getting old-man make-up. Any-

he plays during his Esquire photo shoot, ELO

Household. It begins in 1947, with Smith look-

way, us actors are going to become obsolete.

and Radiohead (his favourite band) included.

ing and talking sharp in the white naval uni-

Really? Yes. Well, maybe not for a while.

Its the DJ in him. As head boy of North-

form of the then Philip Mountbatten on the

Im sorry. Im just more reective now Im in

eve of his wedding to Princess Elizabeth.

my thirties. I like getting old, in real life.

ampton School for Boys, he had rst dibs on

the decks at school parties and would play, he

Later, when the king dies, Smith says,

says, with a grin, hard house and trance, and

not only does the Queen change, Philip does

people would say, Play something we know!

too. Shit, thats it, Ive got to walk two steps

Since then, he has become quite the

behind for the rest of my life. That is what

207

Interview by Paul Wilson

The Crown is on Netix now

December 2016

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Photographers assistants: Callum Toy, Gwen Trannoy | Fashion assistant: Emie James-Crook | Digital operator: Nora Abas | Grooming: Carlos Ferraz at Carol Hayes using Rodial Skin Care and Balmain Hair Couture | See Stockists page for details

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211

THE STYLE MANUAL FOR SUCCESSFUL MEN

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The Project stays committed to
evolving vintage luxury with a fresh
approach and a trend-setting appeal for
todays customer. It dedicates its creativity
to people who are able to understand and
embrace a relaxed and active lifestyle.
The company is being developed at the
same pace as its customers, always trying
to experience new technologies, social
movements and the latest artistic or
musical trends.
The Project contends the concept of
freedom in fashion, since style has no
other limit than personal taste.

Hartley Watches
Born out of the woodlands in Kent,
Hartley Watches has been causing
astir this year. The watches unique
dials set them apart from the rest
andwith marine quality materials,
ithas produced quite the range of
watches. Ithas launched both a mens
and womens range in 2016 and is
becoming the watch brand to wear
onyour wrist.
Take advantage of the Christmas offer now
and use code ESQUIRE20 for 20 per cent off
any watch. hartleywatches.co.uk

theprojectgarments.com

Stellar Feller

GWC watches
The Gentlemens Watch Co is home to
an unrivalled collection of unique
aordable timepieces. The strikingly
minimal Mesh Chrono from Megir
boasts a steel mesh band, precision
stopwatch and calendar wheel at
four oclock. Three variations, 49.
Shop Minimal at gwcwatches.com

The Stellar Feller Beard Company

produces only the highest quality
mens facial hair care products. The
balms and oils are hand poured and
use 100 per cent organic cold pressed
Moroccan Argan, jojoba, sweet
almond, coconut oils and shea butter.
The balms and oils are used to deeply
condition, soften, and manage even
the most rebellious follicles.
Distinguish yourself with a variety of
six dierent scents including Cigar
Lounge, Fall Harvest, The Outback,
Orange Cream Soda, Candy Shop
andSailors Delight.

Worboys Shirts
Worboys Shirts is a new brand oering
fabulous, nely crafted shirts for men.
Cut to perfection and immaculately
nished in 100 per cent cotton poplin,
the patterns introduce the colours of
the rainbow. The ultimate in casual
shirt wearing.

Quote ESQDEC for 10 per cent off,

expires30 October

stellarfeller.com

worboysshirts.com

214

Drinks Survey 2016

Build your
wine collection

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5,000
worth of wine from
Berry Bros & Rudd
ENTER THE SURVEY AT

ESQUIRE.CO.UK/DRINKSSURVEY

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9.99*
December 2016

Style & Substance

Eddie Redmayne photographed exclusively for Esquire by Greg Williams

and receive a
Philips 7000 Beard Trimmer,
worth 75

To subscribe, visit:

esquire.co.uk/december16
or call 0844 322 1762 and quote offercode1EQ10856
Terms and conditions: Offer valid for UK subscriptions by Direct Debit only. *After the first six months, your subscription will continue at 17 every six months by Direct Debit. Free gift is limited to the first 100 orders. If this gift
becomes unavailable you will be offered an alternative gift of a similar value. All orders will be acknowledged and you will be advised of commencement issue within 14 days. This offer cannot be used in conjunction with any other
subscription offer and closes 6 December 2016. The minimum subscription term is six months. Esquire is published 11 times a year and the normal cost of annual subscription in print is 47.85 based on a basic cover price of
4.35. For UK subscription enquiries, please telephone +44 844 848 5203. For overseas subscription prices and enquiries, please telephone +44 1858 438 838, or visit hearstmagazines.co.uk. For our data policy, please visit
hearst.co.uk/dp. Lines are open weekdays 8am9:30pm, Saturdays 8am4pm. BT landline calls to 0844 numbers will cost no more than 5p per minute; calls made from mobiles usually cost more.

December 2016

STOCKISTS
A

Alfred Dunhill

Giorgio Armani

Panerai +44 20 7730 1234

+44 20 7235 6707

landsend.co.uk

panerai.com

dunhill.com

armani.com

Loake loake.co.uk

Patek Philippe

Arnold & Son

Giuseppe Zanotti

Louis Vuitton

+44 20 7493 8866 patek.com

arnoldandson.com

giuseppezanottidesign.com

+44 20 7399 4050

Paul & Shark

Aspinal of London

Gucci +44 20 7235 6707

louisvuitton.com

available at harrods.com

+44 845 052 6900

gucci.com

Paul Smith +44 800 023 4006

aspinaloondon.com

Peneld peneld.com

M Malin + Goetz
Hamilton +44 20 8749 3366

available at spacenk.com

Persol

+44 20 7659 7300

hamiltonwatch.com

Margaret Howell

available at davidclulow.com

audemarspiguet.com

Herms +44 20 7499 8856

+44 20 7009 9009

Piaget +44 80 0279 5110

hermes.com

margarethowell.co.uk

piaget.com

Ball ballwatch.com

Hunter Original

Marks & Spencer

Piquadro piquadro.com

Bell & Ross bellross.com

hunterboots.com

+44 20 8090 9564

Prada +44 20 7647 5000

marksandspencer.com

Polaar

Moncler moncler.com

available at nivenandjoshua.com

Audemars Piguet

Lands End

+44 20 7853 4440

Berluti +44 20 7730 1740

Braun uk.braun.com

IWC +44 20 3618 3900 iwc.com

Mondaine +44 1162 344 656

Pretty Green +44 84 5539 2109

J M Weston

mondaine.com

prettygreen.com

Breitling +44 20 7499 8596

+44 20 7629 9494

Montblanc

Pringle of Scotland

breitling.com

jmweston.com

montblanc.com

pringlescotland.com

Bremont bremont.com

John Smedley

Movado movado.co.uk

Brunello Cucinelli

johnsmedley.com

+44 20 7287 4347

Junghans junghans.de

Next next.co.uk

Kent & Curwen

Omega

+44 20 7535 4600

omegawatches.com

ralphlauren.com

Breguet +44 845 273 2400

breguet.com

rado.com

brunellocucinelli.com
Bulgari bulgari.com
Bulova bulova.com

Rado +44 84 5272 3200

Ralph Lauren

kentandcurwen.com

Buly available at mrporter.com

Ralph Lauren Purple Label

Bumble & Bumble

ralphlauren.com

bumbleandbumble.co.uk

Richard James

Burberry +44 20 7980 8425

+44 20 7434 0605

burberry.com

richardjames.co.uk

Byredo byredo.co.uk

Rolex +44 20 7024 7300

rolex.com

Canali canali.com

Russell & Bromley

Caran dAche carandache.com

+44 20 7499 2621

Cartier +44 20 7408 5700

russellandbromley.co.uk

cartier.co.uk
Chaumet chaumet.com

Sandro uk.sandro-paris.com

Christian Louboutin

Seiko +44 1628 770 988

christianlouboutin.com

seiko.co.uk

Christopher Ward

Shinola +44 20 7287 0155

+44 1628 763 040

shinola.co.uk

christopherward.co.uk

Sisley available at spacenk.com

Churchs

Stone Island stoneisland.co.uk

church-footwear.com

Swatch +44 8452 752 800

Clarks clarks.co.uk

swatch.com

Club Monaco
clubmonaco.com

Tag Heuer +44 8004 580 882

Coach uk.coach.com

tagheuer.co.uk

Converse

Tiany tiany.co.uk

available at oce.co.uk

Timberland +44 8000 232 478

Craig Green

timberland.co.uk

available at selfridges.com

Timex timex.co.uk
Topman topman.com

Tudor tudorwatch.com

Dolce & Gabbana

The man inblack:

Eddie Redmayne
wears black wool
double-breasted
coat, 2,580; black
wool cropped
trousers, 860,
bothby Prada

+44 20 7659 9000

dolceandgabbana.com
E

Emporio Armani armani.com

Fellow Barber
available at mrporter.com
Festina festina.com
Fushi fushi.co.uk

Photograph by Greg Williams

Victorinox victorinox.com

W Woolrich woolrich.eu
Y

YMC youmustcreate.com

Zenith +44 1204 424 051

zenith-watches.com

217

Object of Desire

65

925
moncler.com

Moncler bomber jacket

In the past seven decades, French outerwear brand Moncler has armed its
position as a world leaderinsuper-high quality, down-lled mountain jackets,
overcoats, parkas and ifthis seasons Moncler Gamme Bleu by Thom Browne
show is anything to goby acid camouage all-body suits. This Breval indigo
denim-wool-jersey bomber from the Moncler main line is our pick for the coming
cold spell. Whether dressed up over a midnight blue two-piece suit, or down
withbleached-out jeans and acream wool roll-neck, it will see you through this
winter (and the next several to follow) in rugged style.

218

Photograph by Dan McAlister

Words by Teo van den Broeke

No