THE TWO MIKES DICTIONARY - 2016

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#AskPorky
4 eyed fat face fool

Bladderation

Bloon
Bolloxios
BusinessMun (Insert >>>MUN Space, Bin, Tax etc)
Cats
Chester

Cinnamon Challenge

Complete Dope
Costello's
Cycle Lanes
Derek in Pencoed
Edinburgh Fringe
Everton
Fastback
Fleet Street
Full Sex

Gerrymandering
Grilla
Half Bake

The Two Mikes show segment where Porky answers

questions to solve the world's ills and resolve the plight of
dedicated Two Mikes listeners.
Common derogatory insult directed at MG by Porky. "Shut
it you 4 eyed fat face fool so I can make my point....."
slang The act of imbibing, can be suffixed with "in
moderation" to suggest a more measured approach to
drinking. Most commonly used to indicate a state of
extreme intoxication. "Let's get down to Borough Market
for some uber bladderation after the show....."
slang Inexplicably how Porky pronounces "Balloon"
slang A term used when someone is not making sense or
talking rubbish. "He's talking utter bolloxios"
slang Inexplicably how Porky pronounces any word ending
slang in "Man"
Porky's arch enemy and often the victims of some callous
act to rid his "penthouse" terrace of felines.
Porky's home town and seat of "The Harrods of the North"
or Debenhams as most people call it.
Internet based challenge whereby people of questionable
brain power put a spoonful of Cinnamon in their mouth.
Porky can be seen undertaking this at The Two Mike TV on
YouTube.
slang Common derogatory insult directed by Porky at
anyone he feels is of sub-standard intelligence.
Famous drinking hole of The Two Mikes during their time
in NYC.
Stretches of concrete enabled in London by former Mayor
Boris Johnson and the subject of much consternation for
both MG and Porky.
Listener who is referred to by Porky as "The Bog Cleaner"
often in mocking fashion.
Annual comedy festival in Edinburgh at which The Two
Mikes made their debut in 2016.
Porky's beloved Football Club very much living of past
glories.
Porky's description of his outdated model Mercedes.
Ex stomping ground and working place of both of The Two
Mikes, frequently referenced during shows.
slang The act of copulation whereby rather than engaging in
what can only be described as "fore play" participants are
engaged in the act of full penetration.
slang Word or term often misused by Porky to describe a
process whereby he feels MG has cheated him in some
way. Most commonly used in relation to the Porky Quiz.
slang Inexplicably how Porky pronounces "Gorilla"
slang According to Porky a person or party not completely in

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November 2016 v1.0

THE TWO MIKES DICTIONARY - 2016

Hampstead
Have you seen the time
Horizontal Refreshment
Idiot
Italian

Jay Rayner

John Lennon
Journals
Kwassants
Live Show
Locked Room
Louis van Gaaaaaaaaaal
Memwaaaaaaaaa
New York
News Supremo
Only one third of my heart
Penthouse
Pierre Cardin
Pinot Grigio
Plank
Point of my story is....

Porky Jinx

control of their faculties.

The area in which MG spent his formative years.
Much used phrase by MG when desperately trying to keep
Porky's verbal meanderings to the running order. "Have
you seen the time.......?" "Don't worry about the time"
slang All encompassing phrase when referring to an act of a
sexual nature between 2 consenting partners.
Common derogatory insult, mostly used by Porky when
referring to anyone who isn't rich and successful.
Porky's shirt maker, must be a sole trader operating
exclusively for Porky as no-one else can find them.
He whom must not be named. General fuckwit who lacks a
sense of humour, personality and the ability to think on his
feet when asked simple questions. Could be referred to as
a "Half bake" or "Idiot".
He whom must not be named. Idolised former front man
of The Beatles now deceased but who still garners
significant appreciation from the Porkmeister.
Porky's wealth of reading material regularly quoted in
relation to the topic he is discussing at the time.
slang Inexplicably how Porky pronounces "Croissants"
When not appearing on TalkSport, TalkRadio or via a
podcast, the format of delivering Two Mikes wisdom to the
world. See Edinburgh Fringe for example.
The much disputed room in Porky's penthouse in Gosport
as exposed by MG and furiously debated by Porky.
Porky's hilarious pronunciation of the former Utd Manager.
slang Inexplicably how Porky pronounces "Memoir" (or any
other work ending in "oir"
Former place of residence and employment for both Mikes
and the subject of many interesting tales.
Porky's self appointed title from his time as a reporter in
Fleet Street.
Phrase delivered by Porky to describe the state of his heart
following his brush with cardio dilated myopathy.
Porky's palatial residences, much queried by MG for not
being at the top of the building, nor particularly salubrious.
Porky's favourite textile based brand, other than "Italian"
obviously.
Porky's favourite tipple, the cheaper the better frankly.
slang Derogatory term founded by MG, most commonly
attributed to Porky for many reasons "You plank........"
Much used phrase from Porky after he's derailed the topic
or discussion in hand to go off on some sort of tangential
rant about matters completely unrelated.
slang Fate based episode often relating from a prediction
from Porky which will then turn out to be the reverse.
"Everton and going to thrash Chelsea this weekend" Everton then lose 5-0.

Produced by: The 2 Mikes Fan Club @The2MikesFC

November 2016 v1.0

THE TWO MIKES DICTIONARY - 2016

Porky Quiz

Porkyvision

Purple Trousers
Push the Envelope
Rogerisation
Sex Victim
Sid the Sexist
Size X
Sports Direct
Stockbroker Belt
Sycophant
TalkSport
Technophobe
The Beatles
Toby Carvery
Trent Polytechnic
"Well......" (in the voice of SGE)
Wetherspoons
What is your problem?
Winners & Losers
WRRW

Show segment run on Friday mornings whereby a topical

subject is used to test Porky's outstanding general
knowledge. Normally results in an average score of 3/10.
Show segment run on Thursday mornings whereby Porky
gives a review of television he has watched over the week.
Some listeners wonder whether he may just be reading
other reviewers articles in his "television journals"
Porky's sartorial item of choice for his bottom half when
The Two Mikes are in front of a live audience.
Phrase used by Bobcat Bob adopted by Porky to describe
going the extra mile.
slang See horizontal refreshment and/or full sex.
slang A proposed or previous sexual conquest. Whilst this
phrase has a sinister undertone, it is not intended to be
used with that connotation.
slang Description of Porky's 1970s attitude towards women
coined by MG.
Porky's shirt size, not used by anyone else on the entire
planet.
Porky's retailer of choice.
Description of Surrey which Porky uses regularly to add
gravitas to his choice of area to reside.
Mike Porky Parry
Broadcaster and employer of The Two Mikes.
Description of Mike Parry and his ability to utilise modern
technology.
Music sensation of the last century much admired by all
and continually referenced, predominantly by Porky,
during The Two Mikes' shows.
Porky's restaurant of choice.
The Alma Mater of Porky often renamed as "University of
The Trent" by Porky prematurely to encapsulate his time
there.
Amusing voice based quip taken from Sven's interview
technique.
Porky's pub and / or restaurant of choice.
Phrase commonly used by Porky when MG questions the
current piffle emanating from his larynx.
Show segment run on Tuesday mornings revealing who
The Two Mikes successes and failures of the weekend are.
Acronym for "White Rose Red Whisky" - a onetime
escapade by MG which is

Produced by: The 2 Mikes Fan Club @The2MikesFC

November 2016 v1.0