Where do you find MANGOES? Mango tree? Fruit shop?

**** NO ****
Where ever WOMAN goes, Peeche-Peeche MAN-goes!

Q: Who had a double role in movie 'Sholay'?

A: King George
He is on both sides of the coin ;)

What is the color of frequency??

Purple
Unit of frequency - Hertz
You can write it as - 1/sec
i.e. par [per] second
In Hindi, second is also called as 'pal'
therefore: PARPAL

Q.What would an angrez[american/british] say to his indian naukar [servant] who can only
understand hindi if he wants him 2 open the door!!
A."There Was A Cold Day "

A scientist disconnected his doorbell..

Why??
Because...he wanted to win the No-bell prize!

What do u call a cylinder of radius "z" units and height "a" units?
- Pizza!
Volume of cylinder= Pi * r * r * h
=>pi*z*z* a
=Pizza
Hence Proved.

What do you call the most religious unit in electric science?

-Ohm
Why does not Santa wake up early.. i.e. when the day dawns.. or sun rises.. but
instead get up when the sun is already shining bright...

Because he has realised the fact that.. "dawn ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin.. na mumkin
hain..

How do u CUT roads?????

By LAUGHING.....
Because "Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste"

Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes A well.
Luv falls into the well. Why???
Because Luv (love) is blind !!!!!

Now , Kush also jumps inside. Why??

Because Luv ke liye saala kush bhi karega!!!!

Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. ???

socho....... nahi pata..??
Answer- D'Cold......Chan ki saans - D'cold

Chalo ab batao Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ?

This is quite simple..
Ans: D'Cold again.......Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi :-))

Q1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??

Ans - TAILOR ( darzi )
Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener
Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main
nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??

Socho...............
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?

Ans:- adidas
Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus
aayi - Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon?
Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.
Ek aur..
Q12. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi,
par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon?? think harder...
Ans:-Kyonke woh Kajol ko chorne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha...
Q13. kamal ,vimal do bhai they, dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai
vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???
Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!
Q15. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus
aai aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata.
Kyo???
Ans :- Kyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha
tha
Q16. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the...bus aai aur Pran
chad jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Kyo???
Ans :- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye

Q17.Kapil Dev goes to Echo point and shouts loudly "Pamolive" But
there dont come any echo sound why ?
Ans:- Because Palmolive ka jawab nahi !!

Q. Agar kisi moti ladki ko dekh kar Seeti bazaao aur woh palatkar waapas aaye toh isse kya
kahenge? Ans. Golmaal Returns!
Tum har roz mere khwabo mein aajaana...
Aaake mujhe yoo hi sata jaana....
Tunuk tunuk tun tunuk tunuk tun tunuk tunuk tun ta na na

What would you call a population control program in China?

Ans : Cheeni Kum

What you call a Deaf Nigro lady: Blackbehry

What do you call a single and lonely "Banana" ?? A-Kela
Santa: Oye Tu Ladki Dekh Aaya? Kaisi Hai? Banta: Rang Se Kali Hai Aur Kaan Se Kam Sunti Hai Santa: Abe
English Mein bata.. . ... ... Banta: 'BLACK-BEHRRY' Hai.

Champu and Pampu are 2 elephant friends. Champu is in love with Champi, > > the
elephant beauty queen. Champu proposes to Champi and she rejects him for some other
rich elephant across the river. Champu is very sad, so Pampu consoles Champu and asks
him to play see- saw at the garden.
Suddenly the see- saw breaks... and they burst to a song...................
guess which one............................
See- Saw ho ya dil ho.... aakhirrrrrr...toot jaata hai....toot jaata hai...toot jaata
hai....!!!!!

A man is speeding in his Ferrari on the highway.......suddenly

a hare hops up from nowhere, onto the road. unable to dodge it he
runs right o v er it............overcome by concern he stops his car to
inspect the hare..........the hare is dead. being an animal lover ,our
Ferrari driver tries to bring back the hare to life........he
frantically searches the dicky of his car and finds a spray- can

there.......he
sprays the dead animal with it...suddenly the hare springs back to
life........it runs along the road....looks back and waves at the
man....then again runs along some distance ,looks back and waves at
him.....and then
again runs further,looks back and waves...
the man looks at the can and reads these words...
'HAIR SPRAY. BRINGS LIFE TO DEAD HAIR.INCREASES WAVINESS.'

One gangster gave three fully sealed khokas (typical mumbaian word, u should be
familiar if u have seen vaastav) to his fellow and ordered him not to open these
khokas.After three days gangster shot that fellow...when another gangboy asked his
gangster why did you shoot him, he said I ordered him not to open these khokas but he
did not obey my order
gangboy said that three khokas were still fully sealed then how did you know that he had
opened the khokas??
Gangster said when I touched three khokas I felt two khokas were hot and one was
cold
gangboy could not understand anythingcan you guess how the gangstar found it out???
guess.....
'thandaa matlab khoka khola'

Agar marte hue aadmi ko kuch dena hua to tum kya doge....?
BIRLA CEMENT kyonki isme jaan hai!

What do u call a Soldier's wife climbing the stairs??

CHADTI JAWANI"

800 saal purane Hanuman Mandir ko kya kahenge...?

MARUTI 800

Agar ek saand gadde mein gir jaye to use kya kahenge ?

- Pitbull
Once a Bengali man was feeling very cold, another man asked him how he was feeling so
what was the Bengali man's reply??
- Eminem (Aami-Numb)

Tune mera dil toda aur kiya mera apmaan....

Tune mera dil toda aur kiya mera apmaan....
Kya is bar duniya ko bacha payega Shaktiman....?

After gr8 career Amitabh Bachchan takes rest,

wah wah,
After gr8 career Amitabh Bachchan takes rest,
wah wah,
Taste mein best, mummy aur everest.

mehgai ke iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ke iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu..

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...

Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!

1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss

Mutual funds are subjected to market risks!!!!

2 Cockroach Gaana Gaa Rahe Thhe : "Aashiq Banaaya

Aapne" ..
Dono Marr Gaye ...
Because Gaana "HIT" Tha ..

, -
, , , ,

Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...

Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ....
Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ..."

Baarish Hue Bheeg Gaye Hum;

Rajinikanth Ne Phuk Maari;
Aur Fir Kya - Sukh Gaye Hum!

Bewaafa Tum Ho To Wafadaar Hum Bhi Nahi;

Besharam Tum Ho To Sharamsar Hum Bhi Nahi;
Pyaar Ke Iss Maud Par Kehte Ho Ke Shadishuda Ho;
To Kya Hua Darling, Kunware Hum Bhi Nahi!

Na Jaane Wo Humse Kya Chhupati Thi;

Kuch Tha Zaroor Uske Payyare Se Hontho Pe;
Magar Na Jaane Kyon Humse Sharmati Thi;
Jab Munh Khulwaya Tab Jakar Maloom Huya;
Saali Chup-Chup Paan Masala Chabati Thi!

Mere Dost Tum Bhi Likha Karo Shayari;

Tumhara Bhi Meri Tarah Naam Ho Jayega;
Jab Tum Par Bhi Padenge Ande Aur Tamatar;
To Shaam Ki Sabji Ka Intajaam Ho Jayega!

Na Jaane Kab Koi Taara Toot Jaaye;

Na Jaane Kab Koi Aansu Aankh Se Chhoot Jaaye;
Kuch Pal Hamare Saath Bhi Has Lo;
Na Jaane Kab Tumhare Daant Toot Jaaye!

I met this guy, His name was Sabarjot.

He was a Fruit seller.
No matter what fruit he sold , they were all very sweet.
One day i asked him,"How are all your fruits so sweet?"
He Replied," It's because 'Sabar' ke Phall hamesha meethe hote hai..!!" =D =)) =D
Disco:- Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal.....?
.
.
A.C.P bola: Daya , surakshit kaale mere baal , Vasmol ne kiya kamaal...

=D

=D

Bob: "I just got a new FORD IKON for my wife."

Jim: "Great trade!"