Running Head: FORGIVE THE FATHERS, THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

Meagan Foote
Psychology 522

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

While there is extensive research on the long-term effects of child abuse, there is not a lot
known about fathers' role in the abuse. Even the researchers have observed the lack of
information. Salisbury, Henning and Holdford note that it is somewhat perplexing to learn,
therefore, that mens role in child abuse is grossly underevaluated especially given the high
proportion of abuse perpetrated by fathers (p. 233). Men are statistically more likely to abuse
children than women are, and yet, proper studies done on the topic are lacking. While
we may not understand the entirety of the fathers' role, we do know enough to safely state that
men are largely the perpetrators of abuse. Not only are men more likely to be abusers statistically
speaking, but men are also more likely to be portrayed as abusers in our literature, media, and
culture as a whole.
There is no doubt that child abuse is a disconcerting issue. Made even more
concerning by the alarming prevalence of child abuse. Odhayani, Watson, and Watson
(2013) estimated that approximately 40 million children worldwide are abused each year. [And]
abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across all ethnic and cultural lines, within all
religions, and at every level of education (p. 832). There is extensive literature documenting the
pervasiveness of child abuse and its long-term effects. Children who experience abuse are at
greater risk of developing risky health behaviors, chronic health conditions, low life potential,
and early death. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has been conducting major research on
the topic. The original study began in 1995 and is ongoing with multiple related studies in many
related fields making it the largest studies of its kind. The study looked specifically
at Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACEs. There are ten different categories of abuse that
make up ones ACE score. The more categories a child falls into the more likely they are to

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

develop long-term issues. In fact, ACEs are better indicators than genetics for: alcoholism and
alcohol abuse, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, depression, health-related quality of life,
adolescent pregnancy, risk for sexual violence, and poor academic achievement to name a
few (CDC, 2016). We may know quite a bit about child abuse and
Adverse Chidhood Experiences, but we do not know enough about fathers in relation to these
problems. Prior to analyzing what we know about fathers and abuse, we must look at what
we know about abuse in general.
Before one can discuss fathers in relation to child abuse, one must first look at the basics
of child abuse. To begin, here is what is known: children who experience parental abuse or
neglect are more likely to show negative outcomes that carry forward into adult life, with
ongoing problems with emotional regulation, self-concept, social skills, and academic
motivation, as well as serious learning and adjustment problems, including academic failure,
severe depression, aggressive behaviour, peer difficulties, substance abuse, and
delinquency (Odhayani, Watson & Watson, p. 832). Essentially, children who have experienced
abuse or neglect have deficiencies in all the areas necessary to becoming a happy, healthy,
functioning adult. They can be mentally and emotionally unstable; paired with a lack of
academic interest and success, and these children have very little in their lives that will help them
move forward. This is where the issue of grit or resilience would come into play, but this paper is
about the potential adverse outcomes. Between this sobering reality and the long-term
issues identified by the CDC (higher risk for heart, lung and liver diseases, obesity, cancer, high
blood pressure, high cholesterol, anxiety, smoking, alcoholism and drug abuse and more),
children who have experienced abuse are at a disturbing disadvantage.

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

Now, bearing in mind the severe consequences of child abuse, one must then analyze the
role that father play in this issue. To begin with, studies have indicated that fathers are
disproportionately implicated as perpetrators of physical child abuse, particularly in its most
severe forms (Dubowitz, p. 277). While fathers may be responsible for a large portion of the
physical abuse, this particular comment fails to account for emotional, mental and sexual abuse.
However, as the more aggressive sex, it is not surprising that men would be indicated more for
physical abuse. In addition, studies find that child sexual abuse is more likely
when unrelated adult males are in the household (Dubowitz, p. 292). While this is not indicative
of fathers, it does shed light on men in the home who are not biologically related. These men,
often times are stand-in fathers, are the primary perpetrators of child sexual abuse. For
this particular paper fathers will be classified as the true biological father, but also as the male in
the house who fills the fatherly role (step-fathers, uncles, mothers significant others etc.). With
that established we can consider an unrelated male in the home as a father figure and if
appropriate a perpetrator of abuse.
How children perceive the abuse is just as consequential as the abuse itself.
Recently, there has been much more attention given to childrens response to abuse in different
forms. In the past ten years researchers, aided by new technology, have intensified their look at
the childs response and the long-term consequences: during the past decade, an emerging
literature has begun to examine the relations between childrens appraisals of their trauma and
their relationships with others and the development of psychiatric symptoms (Holko & Feiring,
p. 5). As stated before, what they have found is that abuse has a tremendously negative and
long-term effect on these children. The closer the abuser is to the child them more damaging the

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

abuse is. In addition, much of the research has shown is this: almost all of the children regarded
their experiences as abusive. They believed that what happened to them was wrong and
undeserved. The children also generally believed that these acts were intentional and not
primarily the result of their own behavior most children do not blame themselves and do
blame abusers for the abuse (Kolko, Brown & Berliner, p. 50). Children understand that the
blame cannot and should not fall on them. Children, despite their age, tend to understand that
what they have undergone is not normal. They seem to understand that what has been done to
them is wrong and unfair. While this is the case in most instances gender also plays a role in the
childs response.
As stated before, most children understand abuse is not their fault and that it is wrong
and a violation of their being. However, it appears that females respond differently to abuse then
males do. Studies have found that girls were more likely to see themselves as negatively
affected by their experience, which may be consistent with the finding that girls reported more
self-blame than boys (Kolko, Brown & Berliner, p. 50) Sadly, the girls are more likely to
internalize their abuse in a considerably self-damaging way. This may also correlate with the fact
that girls are more likely to be the victims of sexual abuse. There appears to be a difference in
response between physical, emotional or mental abuse, and sexual abuse. It has been shown
that sexually abused children were significantly more likely to believe that the abuse was a
victimization; they believed that it was uncontrollable, intentional, and undeserved [and that]
the offender had negative intent (Kolko, Brown & Berliner, p. 50). Children tend to understand
that sexual abuse is a conscious violation of their person. While physical abuse is many times
seen as a loss of control or momentary overstepping of boundaries. Physically abused children
tend to assume that the physical abuse was unintentional and less malicious than sexual

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

abuse. However, physical abuse victims, in some instances, are also likely to take responsibility
for the abuse they receive, while at the same time excusing the abuser to an extent: in some
instances, physically abused children may have the belief that they contributed to the
sequence of events that led to the abusive behavior, and abusers may be reacting, at least in part,
to the situation rather than engaging in a planned abusive experience (Kolko, Brown & Berliner,
p. 50). Children, when physically abused, tend to believe they play some part in the loss of
control that leads to the abuse. Physical abuse is contributed to a lack of self-restraint in a
charged moment. Virtually always, sexual abuse is viewed as an act with thoughtful malicious
intent. Not only does gender play a role, but also the relationship between the victim and the
abuser.
Most perpetrators of physical abuse are males in the household, while
most perpetrators of sexual abuse are non-related males. It is known then that the nature of
relationships with abusers is an important factor in the perception of abuse experiences (Kolko,
Brown & Berliner, p. 51) and how the children not only respond to the abuse, but subsequently
view the abuser. Children have an impressively mature view of their abusers. Nearly all the
children support their abusers receiving some form of help. It has been found that children
strongly supported abusers receiving help, although they were of mixed opinion about whether
abusers should be punished (Kolko, Brown & Berliner, p. 50). Surprisingly, the children who
have undergone horrors are not unanimously in favor of punishment. A childs feelings towards
punishment seems to be affected by the intensity, regularity and relationship behind the abuse,
which means fathers violation of the child could carry much more weight.

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

Fathers are in fact much more likely to be perpetrators of child abuse. Also, men in
general are more likely to be perpetrators of abuse. As appalling as child abuse is it seems to be a
persistent problem in society. As the study on ACEs has shown, the adverse outcomes of
abuse are not limited to psychological or emotional; they extend to physical ailments and
diseases. Helping parents, both mothers and fathers, to develop the secure attachments and avoid
parental frustration can help both parent and child. An important first step in preventing child
abuse is: educating families, caregivers, and parents on their childs early development
increases the likelihood that they will use positive disciplining methods and reduces the risk of
violence within the home (Bissell, p. 14). Education, as with most issues, is the best and most
effective way to help parents and avoid abuse in the home. An important factor in providing such
education is knowing about violence where it occurs, in what forms, and which age groups
and communities of children are most affected is essential to planning and designing
intervention strategies (Bissell, p. 14). In order to know these things, there needs to be more
comprehensive research on child abuse, particularly the fathers role. We have very little on how
fathers factor in to child abuse. But what is known is very concerning; concerning enough that
fathers and abuse should be treated seriously. It is also known that a healthy fatherchild
relationship was associated with a reduced risk of the mother physically abusing her child. This
finding adds to a substantial body of research that has amply documented the benefits to children
of strong, healthy relationships with fathers or father figures (Dubowitz, p. 292). Not only does
the development of a strong relationship lower the risk of maternal abuse, but also it lessens the
chance of paternal abuse. However, if child abuse happens there are effective treatments to help
eliminate or manage the side effects of abuse.

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

When men were polled on the effects of stressful home environments and abuse the
findings were tremendously concerning. What was found was that two thirds of the men
reported that their children were exposed to interparental arguments, yet most did not feel this
exposure affected their children. This stands in obvious contrast to the many studies
documenting a higher prevalence of psychological, social, and behavioral deficits among
children exposed to [abuse] (Salisbury, Henning & Holdfold, p. 240). Not only is that a
disconcertingly high number of men that are woefully wrong, but also that means there is much
work to be done with the men. First, they must be shown that there is a problem to begin
with. Only once they accept that can behavioral intervention and healing begin. If we do not help
the men to recognize the erroneous error in their understanding of their actions the abusive cycle
will continue. We know that witnessing [abuse] during childhood may serve as a potent model
for learning to use aggression in the management of interpersonal conflicts (2 Salisbury,
Henning & Holdfold, p. 33). Which means once abuse is perpetrated the odds of it continuing
through generations are regrettably high. If we do not intervene, educate and positively
encourage the men who act as fathers, we will perpetuate the cycle of violence and abuse with
terrible outcomes for the victims and the societies in which they live.
Unfortunately, we dont have enough scholarship on fathers, their points of view, and
their impact on child abuse. One thing is for sure, what little scholarship exits in this area is
almost entirely based on maternal reports (Salisbury, Henning & Holdfold, p. 234). Which leads
to the inevitable conclusion that we must invite men into the conversation. Men need to be
included in future research and educated on the research we already have. Again, education is
key, fathers who are better educated spend more time with their children and are more likely to
remain committed to their parental role (Salisbury, Henning & Holdfold, p. 233). Encouraging

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

men in supportive and positive parental roles is crucial to breaking the cycle of abuse. Men must
be educated on the issue because it is clear there are severe misunderstandings for them.
In a different capacity, but nonetheless significant, fathers can have a less direct on the
abuse going on in a home. A few studies have found that fathers have a significant impact on the
potential for maternal abuse. One study notes that fathers may potentially influence risk in a
variety of ways, both directly in their own perpetration of abusive behaviors as well as indirectly
by influencing mothers abusive behaviors (Guterman, Lee, Lee, Waldfogel & Rathouz,
p. 277). Even when the men are not the primary perpetrators, they still have play a significant
role in the abuse. This is an extensive and comprehensives study that reveals some interesting
findings. In large the explanation for their impact on mothers is such: fathers may serve as
important vehicles for the transmission of necessary resources and information that support or
hinder effective maternal parenting behaviors, from tangible (e.g., money or child care) to
intangible (e.g., emotional support, validation, information about developmental expectations, or
parenting norms) (p. 278). The fathers indirect impact is a bit more complex but no less
important. This study also looked at the relationships of the mothers and fathers or father-figures.
What they found was that married and cohabiting mothers report less parenting stress, greater
support from fathers, greater positive father involvement with the child, and less coercion from
the father, in comparison to mothers who are visiting or no longer involved with
fathers (p. 283). The fathers committed and physical presence seems to have a beneficial
impact on the children. It also has a positive impact on the mothers in that the mothers are less
likely to be abusive towards the children. Having established those statistics, it should be
mentioned that the same study indicat[ed] that single mothers face greater risk for physical child

Forgive the Fathers, They Know Not What They Do

10
abuse perpetration (p. 286) than married and cohabitating or co-parenting mothers. While single
mothers may be at the greatest risk for child abuse, that does not excuse the role fathers play
under other circumstances. It is impossible to ignore the important role that fathers play in child
rearing; whether that role be for better or for worse. One study has begun to look at
current young adult literature and its depiction of abuse.
The developing study by Dr. Darragh and a graduate student, Meagan Foote, looks at
young adult literature and abuse, or more specifically Adverse Childhood Experiences. For the
research project they looked at child abuse (as defined by the CDC and ACEs) in young adult
literature. For this research project we read many of the Michael Printz Award winners and
honorees as our study sample. What was found was that many, in fact almost all, of the books
depicted one or more of the ten categories of ACEs. These ten categories are as follows from the
CDCs website: emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, mother treated violently,
household substance abuse, mental illness in household, parental separation or divorce, criminal
household member, and emotional or physical neglect (About the CDC-Kaiser ACE Study,
2016). Not only did they look at the type of abuse represented, but they also looked at the race,
gender, socioeconomic status, relationship, age, and response to abuse of the abuser and their
victims. Their research revealed some interesting trends within young adult literature;
particularly in reference to fathers.
In the sample of novels read, they found that emotional neglect and abuse were the two
most prevalent forms of abuse. Following the two primary forms of abuse were household
substance abuse, and just barely behind substance abuse was physical abuse. When they looked
at the gender of the abuser they found that almost every instance was male with the exception of

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11
one female. In addition, almost every abuser was the father of the victim, with the exception of
one slave-master relationship. Not only was virtually every abuser male, but also virtually every
victim was the son of the abuser. The abused and their victims were portrayed largely as people
of middle to low socioeconomic status. Lastly, households with abusive fathers were portrayed
either without a mother-figure present or the mother-figure was abused in much the same way as
the child or children. When the mother was present she was portrayed as either beaten down or
very weak. If the mother was a strong figure she was typically killed or removed in some way.
Within these novels the fathers role in abuse is very clear: they are the primary perpetrators and
the abuse is extensive.
In the hugely regretful incident where abuse has already occurred there are promising
treatments. First, therapy is the most effective treatment for many psychological issues including
the aftereffects of child abuse. Second, there is a method known as Lifespan Integration that is
largely effective. Lifespan Integration, and the related Eye Movement Desensitization and
Reprocessing, or as its more commonly known EMDR, are methods used to treat abuse, PostTraumatic Stress Disorder or other issues in a way that does not re-traumatize the client. In
essence, Lifespan Integration is a very gentle method which works on a deep neural level to
change patterned responses (Lifespan Integration, 2016). Both of these forms of treatment can
be very effective and offer some form of relief to the victims. All in all, child abuse is an
enormous problem in our society. Not only in the original violation of children, but also in the
long-term personal and societal impact and fathers play a key role in the problem as well as
the solution.

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References

About Adverse Childhood Experiences. (n.d.). Retrieved October 22, 2016, from
http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/about_ace.html
Bissell, S. (2015, August 11). Protecting children from all forms of violence. Child Abuse &
Neglect, 50, 9-14. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2015.08.012
Dubowitz, H. (2009, August). Commentary on Fathers and Children and Maltreatment:
Relationships Matter Most. Child Maltreatment, 14(3), 291-93.
doi:10.1177/1077559509339389
Guterman, N. B., Lee, Y., Lee, S. J., Waldfogel, J., & Rathouz, P. J. (2009, August 06). Fathers
and Maternal Risk for Physical Child Abuse. Child Maltreatment, 14(3), F277290. doi:10.1177/1077559509337893
Kolko, D. J., Brown, E. J., & Berliner, L. (2002). Children's Perceptions of their Abusive
Experience: Measurement and Preliminary Findings. Child Maltreatment, 7(1), 41-53.
doi:10.1177/1077559502007001004

Kolko, D. J., & Feiring, C. (2002, February 01). "Explaining Why": A Closer Look at
Attributions in Child Abuse Victims. Child Maltreatment, 7(1), 5-8.
doi:10.1177/1077559502007001001

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Lifespan Integration - Lifespan Integration. (n.d.). Retrieved October 29, 2016, from
https://lifespanintegration.com/
Odhayani, A. A., Watson, W. J., & Watson, L. (2013, August). Behavioural consequences of
child abuse. Canadian Family Physician, 59(8), 831-36. Retrieved October 22, 2016,
from http://www.cfp.ca/content/59/8/831.full.pdf html
Salisbury, E. J., Henning, K., & Holdford, R. (2009, August 06). Fathering by PartnerAbusive Men: Attitudes on Children's Exposure to Interparental Conflict and Risk
Factors for Child Abuse. Child Maltreatment, 14(3), 232-242.
doi:10.1177/1077559509338407