When I first set out upon this undertaking, I didnt think that I

could do it. That was mostly because I was concerned about

what people would say. I was mostly seen as odd and lived in a
fantasy .After I reprogrammed my thought process , I be gan to
see that I could do it and I was doing it , until now i finally AM .
No longer did my mistakes of the past, hinder my present and
blur my future. In fact the past present and future became vital in
reshaping my thought system which was now based on truths of
the inner nature. I decided to remove past to programming and
replace it with an alignment to what I knew to be true, and allow
that to draw me into my future. In that future I saw endless
possibilities in myself ranging from how i saw myself in the mirror
as well as HOW I WAS PRESENTING MY SELF TO THE WORLD?
WAS I BEING THE PERSON THAT IM SUPPOSED TO BE? T here was
a strong pull to be the person that Iwas supposed to. Not better
than anyone else, no not that. Just a better person. And not so I
could say, Hey look at me ive changed, No, not that either. The
very people who you want to see you as changing are not going
to see it
Because theyve been keeping records of your shortcomings and
mistakes. They are never going to see it .So the motivation had to
be true it could not be for any reason other than that was
determined to succeed by my own standards. This brought me to
the edge of myself and showed me how to be exactly who i was
supposed to be. Not just another person in the world breathing
air.
I took myself of my thoughts and allowed some truths and inner
principles to act as guides and teachers along this step by step
journey inward. At first I didnt know what to expect. Would there
be flashes of light or epiphanies other phenomenon. No, none of
that. Thats not why I was seeking. Wanted to know where I came
from. It was about that time that I discovered that I didnt really
Know anything. In that unknowing that i began to KNOW.I went
from being at the whim of the collective to being my own person
who thinks higher and delves deeper. Jumping into my inner I
found a lot of mess. Yes that, a mess. That wasnt what I was
looking for and it wasnt what i wanted to see, but i had to face it.
Take responsibility for myself. Own up to my responsibilities.
Forgive people who have wronged you. I had to go through The
stuff that i didnt want to see and take it apart and see why they
turned out the way they did and my part in it. Now to put things
back on a correct path. Again I stress its not so I can say Look
what i did! No not that. I just began to let what was slowly
silently lovingly working its way from the inside out. What worked
its way out of me was what was in there all the time. The Way of
the world had taken it away from me that which was great. Not
great by the worlds standards. NO not that! I found out if the
world gives it to you the world will take it away. I didnt want what
the world had to offer. I had something to offer the world. Thats
why it was important to become the man i needed to be. I armed
myself the greatest weapon in my arsenal LOVE. It was the only
thing that i had. But first i had to know that it wasnt a condition
outside of me. It was the very thing that I was composed of and
you too.
Yeah you too the very thing that i thought was missing was
already there I just had to accept it in consciousness. Then put it
where it wasnt. Thats when it found its way back to me. It was
improperly programmed from the beginning. I had to start from
point zero and create from there (the way the master did).
Willingness to give up material possessions were the instruments
that would ultimately be the keys to unlock what was hidden deep
inside waiting to arise. Most of it was painful, all of it was made
me ask more questions .None of it gave me any answers but i
knew where to look. Not friends or familyTheres no way theyd
understand. Besides i had enough critics and criticism. And I
thank them all because it allowed me to see BEYOND. The more I
sought my truth which is yours too by divine birthright the more
favor sought me it was already there. Just had to experience or
understand THE PRESENCE in consciousness. Allowing the
awareness to guide me via intuition showed me how to PRESENT
MYSELF TO THE WORLD. As I grew into Tod I found everything I
needed to conquer the critics foes and other adversaries .But
why fight a losing battle with people in the world who are stuck
in my past mistakes when i can encourage people who have
been where ive been and are hurting and want the very same
thing from an inner perspective. Thats how my past present and
future all came into view and gave me a glimpse into eternity.
Thats why I NEED TO BE. JUST WHO I AM, FOR SOMEONE WHO IS
IN NEED. Thats why the very strong need to become who I need
to be
and do what it is I need to be doing 7:50 AM 6/15/2009
Working through the past now in the present gave me the
tools I needed to see myself through. I was my own tough
critic. I adopted the idea in myself that when i walk down
the street I wanted people to see me and individual. I worked
hard to make Principles work. It didnt. I couldnt make it
work. I had to check my motives and redirect my thought
process. You see it was working. I had to be the change that
I wanted to see as GHANDI did. When I walked down the
street I didnt want my race or gender to be the first and
only thing that someone would see in me. So I had to make
sure that that wasnt the only thing that I saw in people. My
goal was to speak and say to 10 people walking down the
street even if they didnt back. The tight faces began to
loosen up and turned to smiles. Thats when I knew that it
was working9:53 AM 6/16/2009 I had begun to have an
effect on my environment rather let it dictate to me and
affect me. I was being the change that i wished to see. And it
was reflecting itself back to me. Now to take it to the next
level. If I could witness what was happening due to a shift in
my thought process, how about if I looked further into myself
to see what was actually going on. I had already
Been keeping a journal which was tracking my own
individual progress. I found that the thoughts Id been writing
were actually happening. Thats when i made sure the
thoughts that had were conducive to what i was trying
To produce. And that they came from the right plac for the right
reason. I had to align myself with the positive. Not asking for
anything that was not for me. But knowing that whatever i asked
for i could have by my Divine Birthright. I looked at the things
that occurred and it drew me in more... to myself...and beyond.
More and more questions. 8:53 AM 6/17/2009At times there were
more questions than answers, but i knew that if i stayed
The course id finds MY way. And Id succeeds at it by my own
standards, not the common standard of the world. It runs by a
different set of standards.Id raised the bar. And i was determined
to win by it. My success would not be measured by money, people
or opinions. It would be and was measured by the amount of
artillery was in my arsenal. Not the amount that i was getting,
no, not that. I got back the amount corresponded to what i was
willing to give. In spite of what it looked like on the outside. What
I was made of was determined to come through. The only weapon
in my arsenal could melt the hardest heart. I knew because it
melted mine. Now to take it outside of myself and apply it in the
worst case scenario. To put love in the place of fear and anger is
not the wisest thing to do, BY THE WORLDS STANDARDS. But lets
not forget my reason for doing this was not for WORLD
STANDARDS. Stay tuned..