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Vincent Zhao
Jennifer Rodrick
Queer Studies 115
24 October 2016
You Dont Act Gay
What does it mean for a queer to act queer? In our society, there are unrealistic ideas of
how queer people should act because of their sexual orientation. The ideas that circulate within
that space ultimately create a threshold that determines whether a person is acting queer enough,
or not. The space around the queer community requires them to act and live like queer, which is
stereotypically assumed to be a person that acts different from their biological gender, a person
that adopts different ethnic children, and a person that goes clubbing.
In many movies and shows, gay men are portrayed as flimsy, flamboyant, and
womanlike. On the opposite spectrum, lesbian women are portrayed as butch, short-haired, and
tough. The authors of Arent Labels for Pickle Jars, Not People? Negotiating Identity and
Community in Talk About Being Gay, Jeffery Adams, Virginia Braun, and Tim McCreanor,
each have a Ph.D. while the main author, Adams, has also written several articles on gay mens
health. The rejection of labels by participants represents a challenge to the reliance on the
salience of sexuality as an identity category, or at least that it need not be a defining
characteristic in identity (Adams, Braun, McCreanor). This quote clearly expresses the concerns
of the queer community on labeling in the aspect that queers are not defined by their sexual
orientation. It goes to state that being gay or lesbian or any kind of queer should not be a defining
characteristic because it undermines the value of the person. In our society, we dont call a man,
John the straight guy or a woman, Jane the straight woman so why does that give us the right to

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identify queers by their sexual identity? This type of discrimination in labeling negatively affects
queers because it excludes the queer community from the social norm. This essentially creates an
invisible barrier between a queer community and the rest of society. However, one could argue
that identifying a person by their sexual identity is not a devaluing act nor should it be seen as
one. Be that as it may, the context in how our society identifies and labels queers is undermining
because we strictly use sexual identity as a label for queers and their community.
Another notion that society has for queers and others alike is the adoption process of
babies, especially babies of varying ethnicity from the adopting parents. Laura Mamo, a San
Francisco State University professor and Ph.D. graduate, and Eli Alston-Stepnitz, the authors of
Queer Intimacies and Structural Inequalities, write about the different ways queers can
reproduce through biomedicine and why they choose to. Today, a large portion of those who
engage in transnational reproduction are affluent people who have decided to forego adoption in
the hopes of maintaining genetic ties to one parent (Mamo, Stepnitz). This portion of the text
completely shatters the stereotype that queers prefer to adopt when it comes to having children.
Instead, it clearly states that parents would prefer that at least one of them should be tied to their
child through genetics. This is the preferred method of reproduction because genetics lay an
underlying foundation that adds a sense of intimacy between parent and child. I would like to
refer to the American television series, Modern Family, where a gay couple lives a stereotypical
gay life. The two men, Mitchell Pritchett and Cameron Tucker, are white men that live together
in a two story house. Both Mitchell and Cameron have stereotypical characteristics such as
feminine behavior, fashionable clothing, and gay items or property. The house contains dcor
that is patterned or colorful, with a family picture above the fireplace. Mitchell drives a Prius,
which has been referred to as a gay car on the internet. Mitchell and Cameron are also prone to

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having their feelings hurt easily, which can also be seen as a feminine trait found in gay men.
Early in the series, the couple decides to adopt a baby, an Asian baby, which supports my
previous claim that gay couples would adopt a different ethnic baby. An opposing statement may
argue that the show sets unrealistic details for gay people because of obvious they stereotype the
traits of gay people or that the majority of people that take in the parentless children consist of
the queer community. This statement may likely be true if the ratio of queer parents to other
parents is 10:1 but it does not clearly state that many people adopt in the first place. Therefore,
the statement renders itself null unless numbers are specified.
The final idea that society has about queers, gay men specifically, is that they always go
clubbing on their night out. Doctor Granter Tyler Peterson, the author of Clubbing
Masculinities: Gender Shifts in Gay Men's Dance Floor Choreographies states the stereotypes
and events that occur in gay clubbing. I frame my examinations within the context of two
gender stereotypes: the masculine gay circuit dancer and the feminine pop dancer (Peterson).
This excerpt from the writing indicates how the majority of society sees gay clubbers, from the
masculine gay circuit dancer to the feminine pop dancer. I would like to refer back to the TV
series again, Modern Family, because there is another episode where Mitchell and Cameron have
a night off work so they decide to have some fun. They just so happened to attend a dance club
full of gay men. However, what Im trying to convey is that Mitchell and Cameron break a
certain stereotype about gay club dancers. Mitchell is a skinny man with an orange beard while
Cameron is a large man without any clear muscular traits. This example disproves the notion that
gay clubbers are either big, muscular men with abs or skinny, muscular men with abs.
Disregarding the other stereotypes that this show portrays, it also helps shine light on the other
side of being gay.

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To reinforce my main points, queers are typically seen as people who act in an opposite in
respect to their gender, expected to adopt when other options are preferred, and are apparently
known to club even though there is no factual proof. Queers are not required to act different
because they are not different. They like the same things you like and eat the same things you
eat. The only thing that is different is who they prefer and what they prefer. These notions do not
help the queer community blend in with other communities such as the straight community
because as long as they are seen as different people, reform cannot occur and therefore, the
invisible barrier stands strong while the queer community tries its best to tear it down, little by
little. To clear society of its ridiculous ideas of the queer community, there must be a group effort
to help the community whether it be the LGBTQ community, political community, or the straight
community.

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Works Cited
Adams, Jeffery, Virginia Braun, and Tim McCreanor. "Arent Labels for Pickle Jars, Not
People? Negotiating Identity and Community in Talk About Being Gay." American
Journal of Men's Health, 8.6 (2014): 457-469.
Mamo, Laura, and Eli Alston-Stepnitz. "Queer Intimacies and Structural Inequalities." Journal of
Family Issues, 36.4 (2015): 519-540.
Peterson, Grant Tyler. "Clubbing Masculinities: Gender Shifts in Gay Men's Dance Floor
Choreographies." Journal of Homosexuality, 58.5 (2011): 608-625.