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Nikki Menig

Oct/17/16
Creative Writing
Don't Let the Clothes Wear You
I could think of multiple things I would rather be doing, like watching Netflix or catching
up on social media. But no, instead Im heading to an abandoned school, crawling with God
knows what with my friend, Pippa. All because she wanted to be adventurous, and to live while
she still can" whatever that means. When Pippa said we were going somewhere fun, I thought
she meant the movies or even just some food joint that opened up. I was not expecting an
abandoned school to be classified as fun.
We get to the chain-linked fence that surrounds the school, and for a minute I was hoping
there was no way to get in so that I could just go home. Alas, it was so old and rusted, that the
bottom could easily be pulled back enough to slide right underneath. As we entered the building,
I could not believe how the inside looked. Nature had completely taken over almost every inch
of the building. The windows were covered in dirt, and all the old desks, chairs, and even the
floors had an inch of dust on it. We went through the hallways and into rooms that were beyond
repair. It was interesting; I'll have to admit, but it was still creepy seeing all of the graffiti and old
supplies that had not been used in years. Pippa kept picking through things while I tried to avoid
touching anything.
For the next couple of minutes, we just wandered around, seeing if we can find anything
cool or interesting. I started to get bored, but I could tell Pippa was enjoying herself, so I just let
her go off by herself. We were separated for a while, but then Pippa met up with me and had a
look of as if she just found the holy grail. Saskia, you will not believe what I just found. she
told me, to which I replied What? A dead body?. Pippa let out a short laugh No, but wouldn't

that be something? Anyway, come with me. She took my arm, and we started to walk down a
hallway and turned into a room at the very end.
What I saw puzzled me. Unlike all the other classrooms with desks turned upside down
and in complete disarray, this classroom was in good condition. However, in this room, the desks
formed a circle in the room, with one desk in the middle of them. The weirdest part about this
was on top of the desk in the middle, was what looked like a school uniform with a piece of
paper next to it. What the hell? I said, did you do this Pippa? She looks at me with
excitement painted all over her face. Nope. I was just wandering around and saw it. I think it's
the work of some cult. I rolled my eyes Even so, this is weird, and I think we should leave. I
felt uneasy; this is just too random for me.
Pippa shakes her head, Where's your sense of adventure? I think we should investigate
it. Before I can even give her response, she heads towards the desk in the middle. I curse under
my breath and follow her. We reach the desk and Pippa picked up the piece of paper. It looks
blank, but then Pippa turns it over, and there is writing on it. It reads Try me on; youll look
divine. I gave Pippa a puzzled look and said: Okay, now that is creepy. Pippa did not respond
to me; she looked at the uniform for a while, and then told me I wanna try it on. I watched with
shock You can't be serious Pippa. I say. Come on Saskia; there's a school uniform in the
center of an abandoned school classroom, and it says to try it on. This has got to be some of that
destiny crap all those stories are going on about. I just look at her. That's also how people die
in horror stories.
She ignored my words and started to put the uniform on. I disapproved but did not say
anything. When she finished putting it on she patted the skirt and did a twirl, What do you
think? she asked me. I think you're dumb and should take that thing off immediately. I was

getting more nervous by the minute. I was not comfortable in the room, and I was just standing
around, so I decided to search more around the school. Meet up with me when you're done
wearing that weird uniform. Okay fine, Pippa said, with her back to me.
Leaving the room, I wandered around until I ended up in the library. I was enjoying my
time looking at all the old and used books. Until, I heard a blood-curdling scream coming from
the direction I just come from. Pippa? I said to myself, I quickly ran up to the room, adrenaline
pumping thru my veins. I got to the room, and I stopped dead in my tracks, I could not believe
my eyes. The uniform that Pippa put on had formed eyes all over itself. At the edges of the skirt,
collar, and sleeves there were razor sharp teeth; and they were eating away at Pippa's flesh. Pippa
was flailing around screaming, once she saw me she yelled HELP ME, HELP ME FOR GODS
SAKE HELP ME! Even if I wanted to, I couldn't move; my brain could not comprehend what
was happening. I suddenly remembered how to move my legs, and I bolted out of the room.
I could hear Pippa's screams behind me as I ran, but I was too scared. I ran until I reached
the entrance of the building and stopped to take a breath. Once the adrenaline went down a bit, I
realized what I had just done. I left Pippa alone with that thing attacking her. I have to help her,
even if I do not know how, I have to. I turned around and sprinted back to the room, hoping I was
not too late. Halfway there I realized the screaming had stopped, and it made my stomach drop. I
tried to think positively, maybe she escaped somehow and was not in trouble.
The circle of desks in the room were now toppled over and spread out as if a hurricane
went through them. I didn't see Pippa at first, but then I spotted her coming from the corner of
the room I had my back to. Pippa wasn't wearing the uniform anymore, but she was covered in
blood and teeth marks. She didn't seem to notice me; her attention fixed on something else. I
only had a second to guess what before I saw it. The uniform came from the same place as Pippa

did and the physical form of it baffled me. It had sprouted legs that looked distorted; almost as if
they were made out of muscle. It was drenched in Pippas blood. It snarled and lunged towards
her.
Pippa let out a short shriek and tried to move out of its direction, but she was too slow
and pushed her down. It started to tear her right arm apart, and Pippa let out another scream, just
like before. I searched around for a weapon; something I could attack and defend with. I found a
metal end of a broken chair and charged towards the uniform. I hit it square on its side, and it
smashed into the wall with a loud thud. Pippa crawled away from it, trying to create as much
distance from the uniform. I again charged, and stabbed it multiple times until it limp and
motionless. It's body them shifted back into its normal form, looking like just another piece of
clothing.
Seizing the opportunity, I grabbed Pippa off the floor and bolted out the door, dragging
her behind me. We ran down the halls, through the entrance, slide under the chain linked fence,
and kept running until we couldn't feel our legs anymore. We stopped near a road and looked at
each other in disbelief, breathless. Pippas voice trembled What should we do? Do we tell
someone about what just happened? Should we go back and fight it? I thought for a moment.
To be honest Pippa, I don't know. But I do know that going back would be suicide. I let out a
sigh, before we do anything, we need to get you to a hospital; we need to take care of those
wounds. I put her arm around my neck to help support her weight. We started walking, not sure
what to say to each other. After an experience like this, I don't think well be able to look at
clothes the same way again.

Final Draft after peer editing and revisions.

Short Story Character Profile


Before you begin writing, answer the following questions about your main character. Dont
try to describe yourself or anyone you know; the purpose of this is to discover a new
personality.
1. Is your character male or female? Female.
2. How old is your character? 16 years old.
3. Color or hair? Black Eyes? Brown Skin? Pale
4. Describe your characters physical appearance and body type:
Average height and is between the body size of plus and normal.
5. Describe your characters voice and any favorite words or expressions:
She has a Higher voice than normal; likes to say castaphery when dramatic events come
into play. Can be very sarcastic when annoyed.
6. How is your character dressed? What style of clothing does he/she/it wear?

She likes to wear dresses and hates having to wear pants. She likes the classy, but casual
kind look.
7. Special characteristics: Does your character have a certain fear or phobia? Special
Powers?
Doesn't have a certain fear or phobia; but is not to comfortable being in the dark for
certain amount of time.
8. How intelligent is your character? Does your character have common sense? Wise?
Etc
She has common sense, is above average in intelligence, but can be irrational at times.
9. Give five adjectives to describe your characters personality:
a.Charismatic b.Industrious c. Fair-minded d .Optimistic e. Tidy
10. Name and DESCRIBE friends and acquaintances of your character.
Pippa is one of her best friends, but they weren't very close. Pippa like to rebel and be
wander into places she is not suppose to.
11. Where was your character born? California
12. Where does your character live now? California.
13.Hobbies/interests/talents: Plays hockey from time to time and likes to play on the Xbox.
14. Goals in life/major ambitions: She wants to get through high school, graduate from
college, and become wealthy. She is not sure on what profession to go into yet.
15. Mention one major event in the characters life. Give your character a backstory.
She was once humiliated in front of her whole middle school. Since then she doesn't like
to get out much or do anything spontaneous.
16. Now, give your character a name. Saskia
17. Any nicknames? None.

Plot Diagram
18. Intro: Two girls go into the old abandoned school.
Characters: Saskia and Pippa.
Setting: Early evening; the area is surrounded by a fence and is covered in wild life. There are
broken windows and many parts of the building are falling apart.
Issues/Info: Pippa wants to keep exploring but Saskia could care less.
19. Incitement to Action/Intro of Conflict: Pippa finds a strange room and makes Saskia come
with her.
20. Three pieces of Rising Action:
a. Girls get inside the old, abandoned school.
b. Find a room covered in weeds and such. The desks form a circle with one desk in the middle
with a school uniform on top of it; a piece of paper is next to it that reads Try me on! Youll
look absolutely divine!
c. Pippa decides to put it on.
21.Climax: The uniform comes to life and has eyes and teeth from all over it. The uniform starts
to attack Pippa.
22. One piece of Falling Action: Saskia run away in fear and panic, but soon comes to her
senses and goes back to save Pippa.
23.Resolution: Saskia injures the uniform and after she and Pippa run out of the room and then
out of the building. They then head to a hospital to take care of Pippas wounds. .
24.Theme/Lesson/Moral: Wonder with caution.

Creative Writing - Horror/Fantasy/Sci-Fi Grading Rubric


1

Materials

Element:
Setting

Content:
Originality

Organization:
Introduction

Organization:
Conclusion

Organization:
Transitions

Organization:
Specific Details/
Examples

Style:
Word Choice

Student is
missing more
than one
element of the
assignment.

The writer has


used details, but
those details do
not help to create
the situation.

The writer has


not been
original.

The writers
ideas are
forced or very
cursory.

The writers ideas


are simple and/or
show little depth.

The writer has


not used a
hook

The writer has


not clearly
divided the
introduction
The writer has
not clearly
divided the
conclusion.

The writer has


attempted a hook
that is very basic.

The essay has


simply used
choppy, basic
transitions.
The writer has
few details to
support the
points asserted
in the essay.

The essay lacks


smooth transitions
in some locations.

The writer has


used only simple
language
throughout the
essay and may
have misused
many words.

The writer has


used a weak
variety of words
and/or misused
several words
detracting from
the essay.

The writer has


not used a
conclusion. The
story just
ends.
The writer has
not used
transitions.
Examples are
vague or not
present.

The writer has


used
inappropriate
or unclear
vocabulary.

Student is missing
only one element
of the total
assignment.
The writer has
used some
detail, but they
are distracting
and take away
from the
introduction of
the story.

The writer has


not used any
setting details.

Name _____________________

The writer has


attempted a
conclusion that is
very basic.

The writer has


referenced
examples through
summary alone.

5
Student has a completed
Final Draft, all revised
drafts, and prewriting
activities completely.

The writer has


used details, and
those details do
give info about
setting and
situation, but they
do not create the
appropriate mood
and tone.
The writers ideas
are clear and
original while
lacking some
depth.
The writer has
attempted a hook
that is somewhat
ineffective.
The writer has
attempted a
conclusion that is
somewhat
ineffective.
The writer uses
basic transitions
in all necessary
locations.
The writer uses
specific details
and examples
while not fully
supporting points,
and may be lacking
sufficient
support.
The writer has
used a strong
variety of words
but has misused
more than one
word interfering
with the
efficiency of the

The writer has used


details skillfully to
SHOW the setting and
situation and to create
mood and tone.

The writers ideas are


sincere, honest, and
original.

The writer leads with an


effective introduction

The writer ends with a


profound conclusion

The writer uses skillful


transitions between ideas
and paragraphs.
The writer uses ample
specific, clear details and
examples to support his
or her points.

The writer uses skillful


and appropriate word
choice and an interesting
vocabulary which helps
clarify his or her ideas.

Style:
Sentence Variety

Conventions

The essay is
choppy and
uses only
standard
structures.

The writer has


relied solely on
basic sentence
structures
below that of a
college-level.

The writer has


relied on one or
two structures,
detracting from
the voice of the
essay.

Grammatical
rules have not
been followed.

The writer has


made many
major errors
making it
difficult to
read.

The writer has


made many errors
in grammar
throughout the
essay.

essay.
The writer has
used a variety of
sentence
structures, but
has repeated one
structure
toomuch.
The writer has
some minor errors
in grammar and
usage.

The writer shows skill in


using a variety of
sentence structures
which add to the voice of
the paper.

The writer has clearly


used language skillfully
with few to no errors in
grammar/usage.

Total Points ____/50

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