Sanchez 1

Brenda Sanchez
Professor J. Rodrick
English 115
16 October 2016
Who are you?
Its a sudden change between the person you are at home and who you are outside of it.
You can act one way at home and another someplace else. Whether its at school, your job, with
friends, family or maybe even walking down the street. You can never really be yourself around
other people because we care too much about what people have to say about you. The only place
well probably feel secure to be ourselves is behind locked doors where no one can judge you.
We let people define who we are. We let them judge us by the color of our skin, ethnicity, and
sexuality. And the fact is, where you are and who surrounds you will always have a factor in how
our identity is shaped.
Someone can give you at dirty look or you might feel like you arent quite fitting in and
we immediately choose to do something about. We act differently or change our appearance just
to fit in. Fitting in seems to be important to everyone, but what is fitting in? Exactly what are
we fitting in to? What good does it do to fit in if we arent expressing who we are. In the article
Black Men and Public Space, Brent Staples describes his experience with encounters he has
had with people in his neighborhood. He has to create this person he is not to make people feel
more comfortable with him being around. Brent says, I now take precaution to make myself less
threatening. (Brent 143). He explains how throughout his life he has been constantly having to
change the way he dresses and the way he presents himself in certain places. Brent, because he is

Sanchez 2

a black man shouldnt have to present himself any other way. The color of his skin and where he
is shouldnt be a reason for him to change who he is. But because society has well enough taken
a role in our identities we let it affect us when we shouldnt.

The color of your skin, your sexuality or your beliefs are judged on a daily basis by those
who are around you. For instance in the article, What Is a Homosexual? Andrew Sullivan
explains how he chooses to hide his homosexuality from his friends at school. He describes how
he needs to survive as a social and sexual being. He chooses to fit in with all the others at
school. School is the one place where you are judged the most. You are judged by the way you
dress, the person youre going out with, or simply because you are smarter than everyone else.
Somehow someway you will always be criticized by whatever you do, so you try your hardest to
just fit in. Sullivan writes, He learns that that which would most give him meaning is most
likely to destroy him in the eyes of others; that the condition of his friendships is the subjugation
of himself.(Sullivan 127). Sullivan has chosen his reputation over letting his friends and the rest
of the school know who he really is. As he explains his story he says that he has joined clubs to
make himself look like he is just like everyone else. He hides behind the sports and clubs. We are

Sanchez 3

quick to judge one another and hide our true identities and we lack to see the true importance to
be who we truly are.
Some may argue that the people around us and the space we are in fact do not shape our
identities. They say that being around certain people or place doesnt change who you really are.
For example in the article, What Is a Homosexual? Andrew Sullivan explains how one of his
classmates is really open about his sexuality. He explains how he embraces his sexuality and is
extremely open about. Although he might be open to his sexuality do you think he is doing this
for himself? He dresses a certain way and talks a certain way at school to show his true self but
how do we know that that is the exact same way he is at home with his family. He can be a
different person at school and at home. We change our personality because like I said before we
care too much about what others have to say about us. His parents may not accept who he is if he
goes home acting the same way he is at school, and that is the case with a lot of people. Where
they have to hide their true identity because their parents may not be completely open to it.
To be completely open to who you are and show your true identity is a challenging thing
to do. In the article, Shape Your Identity Or It Will Shape You by Reid Hoffman, Hoffman
writes his personal opinion on identity as well as opinions from his colleagues. In a paragraph
that he writes he briefly explains how your identity defines who you are. Hoffman says, I
believe that each of us should be thoughtful, proactive, and rigorous about our own
identity.(Hoffman). He is right, we should be able to embrace our identities. That doesnt seem
to happen though, because people and our surrounding will have a way to change that. How
others see us makes us act differently. This will be a continuous situation if you let others and our
surroundings shape our identities. Hoffman also writes, You cant just go with the flow on
everything.(Hoffman). You can just go with the flow throughout your life but it will get boring.

Sanchez 4

Like Dr. Seuss says, Why fit in when you were born to stand out. You should be able to
express yourself without having someone or where you are change that. Your true identity
shouldnt be kept a secret. Why should we hide our identities to fit in, when in fact we will never
truly fit in with everyone else. We will always have it in the back of our minds that we arent

acting like our selves. Letting everyone see who we are shouldnt have to be a scary thing to do.
We are who we and everyone should be open to that.
We will continue to let everyone else shape our identities because its important for us to
fit in. We want to be normal but what exactly is normal. We will continue to judge one another
and make each other feel unwanted. We try too hard to make everyone else happy that we forget
about ourselves. We deserve to have a chance of being happy and letting everyone see who we
are. Why should we only have to hide behind locked doors to be ourselves when there is a whole
world to show our true identities to. But because society has change who we are we will continue
to be behind those doors. Itll never be easy to show our true colors because we will always be
afraid. Fitting in will continue to be the most important thing in our lives because we are hurt

Sanchez 5

when someone looks at us or talks about us in a negative way. Therefore, our identities will
always be compromised.

Sanchez 6

Work Cited
Chan, Casey. A Guy Fawkes Mask for Every Skin Tone, Gender, Culture and More. Gizmodo.
11 July 2013. Web. 20 Oct. 2016.
Hoffman, Reid. Shape Your Identity Or It Will Shape You. Reid Hoffman RSS. 13 July 2015.
Web. 18 Oct. 2016.
Staples, Brent. Black Men and Public Space. 1986. The Norton Reader: An Anthology of
Nonfiction. Ed. Melissa A. Goldthwaite et al. 14th ed. New York: Norton, 2016. 141-43. Print.

Sullivan, Andrew. What Is a Homosexual? The Norton Reader: An anthology of Nonfiction.

Ed. Melissa A. Goldthwaite et al. 14th ed. New York: Norton, 2016. 127-131. Print.
10 Easy Tips On How To Live Longer And Healthier. Daily News Dig. 04 Dec. 2013. Web. 20
Oct. 2016.