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Just a few days before, I visited him and he was talking, and
smiling. He told me how pretty my eyes were and that he loved me.
When I arrived at the nursing home, his beautiful ice blue eyes were
unable to be seen. He couldnt open them. His whole face had a sunken
appearace, it was so heartbreaking. I talked to him and told him
everything that I wanted to, and thanked him for being the BEST papa
in the entire world, and that I knew God had blessed me with him. (He
isnt my biological grandfather!) I dont know how, but he managed to
say I love you too. I believe that was his last words, they were
definitely his last words to me.
I will try and put the rest of this part of the story in a nutshell,
due to it being a very sad subject. All of his family was there with him.
We were all just sitting in the room with him, watching him and crying.
His breathing began to become very labored. My mom is a RN, and she
recognized this pattern of breathing, and knew he didnt have much
time left. After hours of this sad struggling breathing, she couldnt
stand the silence in the room any longer. She suggested that we sing
hymns to him, to try and comfort him during his last minutes with us.
He loved the Lord and gospel songs. I was hesitant at first, but then
she and I started to sing hymns, and my grandmother and his whole
family joined us in singing. It was very clear that we were singing these
hymns from our heart and with so much love. I hadnt sang these
songs in over 10 years, because I had quit going to church. However, I
sang them and could feel joy and peace enter into my heart. After
only a few minutes of singing, his breathing began to slow down, and
we watched him take his last breath. Jesus took him home at 11:47pm
on April 11, 2016.
This experience has FOREVER changed my life.
I cried and cried for weeks, missing the only man that had been
there for me, and loved me unconditionally my whole life. But little did I
know, he wasnt the only one.
Two days after he passed, I had a message from this woman on
Etsy. She was looking for some memorial jewelry, and needed it to be
made ASAP. (side note: I had closed my Etsy shop during the days I
was with Papa, which means I lost money and wouldnt have any
money coming in.) I messaged her back, and told her my situation and
that I would love to help her, but wasnt sure that I could get it shipped
to her in time. Well, come to find out, she lives in Murfreesboro. Not
only that, but her father had passed away when my Papa did, and
also from Parkinsons Disease. Also, on all SEVEN pieces she ordered,
she wanted them to all say Papa. This was my very first order, in 5
years, to say Papa. I made arrangements to meet her to give her the
items. When I met her, she told me that she felt like she had to buy
from me, and no one else. And she also felt like she was supposed to
give me a book. She did, it was a book called Letters to Heaven. I have
tried over and over to find this woman again, because she told me
that she would add me on Facebook when I asked her. I cant find her,
and her Etsy is gone. I thought to myself, this has to be God. He knew I
needed money for bills and food this week, and he used this woman to
do it. Her purchase was $250, my largest single order, ever. My Papa
always made sure that I was doing ok, and would always offer to help
me if I needed it. To me, this felt like his last time to say Here you go
precious, I know you need this and youd never ask for it.
by the world, was now softened and I was filled with an unexplainable
pure joy. I was in complete peace. I had been praying for these things
to happen, by the way. God came through for all of it. But the best
part, is that I no longer grieved the death of my Papa. All of the pain
and agony of his passing was GONE. I knew he was in heaven, and now I
was jealous of him! I began to reach out to people that I felt like I
needed to apologize to, and ask them to forgive me. I sincerely do not
want anyone to have any harsh feelings towards me. I had forgiven
every single person that had ever hurt me, because God showed me
the person that I was, and he washed away from me all of the sin
and pain. Some of the things he took away from me, I had been holding
onto for YEARS! I would cry almost every night over some of these
issues, and the pain was just GONE. How could I EVER hold a grudge
after that? It is impossible. I had just received the greatest gift of all
time. I was set free and I had received forgiveness. I truly felt like I
was a newborn.
After baptism, things began to happen. I got down on my knees
and I completely surrendered my life to God. I truly wanted to do his
will for my life. He had just completely changed everything about me. I
began to pray in ways that I never knew I could. Words and tears
would just flow from me. Words that were, quite honestly, too
spiritually advanced for me. I was praying with my heart and soul. I
havent ever known how to explain this to anyone, but I was also given
this unexplainable sense of urgency. I told a few people, and they didnt
know either and smile and say Im so happy that you found God, but I
knew it was much more than that. I had this completely overwhelming
sense of urgency, and I also felt like there was something I needed to
do, like there was about to be a task for me. I casually prayed about
it, but I mostly just shrugged it off. I wasnt used to this, it was all so
new to me. I was just now beginning to understand that being a Christ
follower is so much more than just going to church on Sundays. I was
beginning to learn that I can actually have a personal relationship with
GOD! And that he longs for his children to talk to him!
Then the night of August 15, 2016, I had my first dream. I had a
very real and vivid dream, it was unlike many of my other dreams. As
soon as I woke up, I wrote the dream down. I have never recorded a
dream before. I dreamed that I was in a hospital, visiting a friend that
was a patient there. All of a sudden, I hear gunshots being fired. It
was machine guns rounds and rounds of shots being fired. I could
hear people screaming and panic began to happen, people were running
around and screaming. I ran out of the room, and nurses were
screaming RUN!!!! They are here to kill Christians!! I thought to myself
ok time to run, because I will not deny God. I took off running, dodging
bullets, and somehow managing to get into an elevator. The door closed
as bullets were flying towards me. I found an exit door, and took off
running. I could hear the shots being fired and the screaming in the
background. I felt like I was being followed as I ran into a wooded area.
Suddenly, this older pickup truck came up, and he said GET IN!! I got in
the truck, and I felt like I was at peace, and I knew that I was safe. The
man looked at me and said, You know what is happening, dont you?
and I said NO!! What is going on? and he put his arm on my back and
said in a loving tone It is the end of the world. I instantly woke up. I
wrote the dream down, just so I wouldnt forget it, because it was so
real. The man in the truck, I dont know who he was supposed to be,
but he was safety.
I had my first dream of my Papa the following night, on August
16. I knew I was dreaming, so I took full advantage of seeing him and I
asked him as many questions as I could. He was so healthy looking, and
his body had a glow to it. He was smiling from ear to ear! I said Hey
Papa! I miss you so much, will I be seeing you again? He said Yes! I said
Like, really really soon? He giggled and said oh yes, soon. I remember
being shocked at his answer and so I asked Wait, will I be WITH you
when I see you again, and will be together again? He laughed a loving
laugh and said YES! And soon! He faded away and that was the last
time I saw him. Im not saying this dream had much significance, but I
genuinely felt like this was a different kind of dream, since I knew I
was dreaming and I consciously asked him those questions. Plus, it
was the first time I got to see him since he passed, and it was
awesome!
On August 22
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Blessings, blessings and more blessings. You have been blessed. Give
thanks. . . . Hawk is a messenger of the Creator/God. The Hawk wants
you to be aware the Creator is speaking to you. Take notice. Only you
know what the message is. . . in fact, you already know (even if you
dont realize it yet). God is sending you a message. . . but it is for you.
Be aware; take notice. (People often think this is a negative, as if
awareness is negative; it simply means not to be oblivious to your
surroundings & dreams).
So yeah. Ok. I will start paying attention to my dreams then! A hawk
in this tree staring directly at me is just too odd to not question it.
Disclaimer: I am not saying that hawks are really messengers of God. I
am just saying that I believe God (who knows me exceptionally well)
knew that once I saw that hawk, I was going to Google it. I clicked on
the first thing, which just happened to say God is trying to send you
a message, pay more attention to your dreams. God always has a
plan, I cant deny this anymore!
rd
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The next dream is the one that REALLY shook me. I had this
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dreams from Him? Are they true? I even asked Him if I was just eating
too much sugar at night. Even though, I hadnt even eaten dinner
before bed for this dream. I knew it wasnt from food. I was praying
so hard and with so much emotion, that I threw up. My heart was
hurting that bad. I know thats kind of embarrassing but it lets you
know how serious I was. I ended the prayer by asking God to answer
me through his word. I was going to immediately open up my bible, and
he needed to answer me. I needed clarity and understanding.
I wrapped up my prayer, and I grabbed my bible. I closed my
eyes and had faith that my prayer would be answered. I immediately
opened my bible, and my eyes went straight to this verse: 2 Chronicles
1:11-12 (God was answering king Solomons prayer) Because this was in
your heart, and you have not asked for possessions, wealth, honor, or
the life of those who hate you, and have not even asked for long life,
but have asked for wisdom and knowledge for yourself that you may
govern my people over whom I have made you kind, wisdom and
knowledge are granted to you. YOU GUYS, I am not even joking around.
God straight up answered me through this verse. When I was praying
to him, not even once did I pray for myself, except asking for WISDOM
AND KNOWLEDGE. Honestly, I froze with a little bit of fear as soon as I
read that, because it was like one of those moments when I KNEW God
was real and he HEARD my prayer! I thanked him for granting me the
desires of my heart. Then, I said out loud, ok, so what about these
dreams? Are they really from you? Instantly I heard the word
Zephaniah. I am embarrassed to say, but I didnt know what that was.
I had to look it up. Apparently, its like the least known book of the
bible, its a small book too. I honestly didnt even know it was a book of
the bible. I went to it and what I read, had me frozen in fear yet again.
The whole book is a prophecy of the end times. The words I read,
described the images in my head exactly. Clouds of smoke and fire
etc. Due to my lack of writing skills, I am going to copy paste from a
website what Zephaniah is about.
The theme of the book is the Day of the Lord. Despite the fact that
Zephaniah warns Judah of impending doom, the prophecy is dual, and
the major fulfillment of his prophecy is yet future. Although the
prophets pronouncements focus on Jerusalem, nations nearby
(Assyria, Ethiopia, Moab and Ammon) and all other nations of the earth
are included in the warnings (Zephaniah 1:2-3; 3:6, 8, 20).
Family and friends, brothers and sisters, strangers and all people This
is why I have taken time to write out my story. How could I possibly
ignore this? I have never, ever, been so sure of something before. This
sense of urgency that I was given, and didnt understand; now all
makes sense. I feel with all of my heart that God is urging me to warn
people. Please dont think I am crazy. I could have never made this up, I
am not that smart, lol. Nor do I have time! I didnt even want to write
this, but I couldnt even work on my jewelry orders because the words I
was going to write were being spoken in my head, and I couldnt
concentrate on making my orders. I had to stop what I was doing and
write this. I was nervous because I DO NOT WRITE, I hate it! But this has
been the easiest thing I have ever written, I havent even had to think
about it. I completely believe it is because God wanted me to write
down my story, and share it with others. This isnt even all of it.
Theres so many more amazing occurrences that are too amazing to
be coincidences. Something actually happened yesterday, God showed
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me that the very first dream I had (and forgot about), on June 6 ,
the day after I was baptized, came true. My very first dream came
true. I wrote it down, but forgot about it, and just found it yesterday.
I cant write it on here due to its nature, but if you want to know
about it, please message me and I will tell you. If you feel like my story
has touched your heart, please please reach out to me. I would love to
have you over for dinner or meet up with you to talk.
I truly believe that Jesus is coming, and soon. I think its safe
to say that most people, believers and non believers, can see just how
evil this world has become.
If you read this and you think I am a complete lunatic, thats ok. I
have already prayed for you. Just please dont try to publicly
humiliate me, because I am doing all of this from pure love.
I want to encourage you all to think deeply about it. Do you feel like
something is missing in your life? Are you happy, but lacking that true
joy? Do you have things in the past that are still bothering you to this
day? Do you live with regret, anger, depression, anxiety and fear? God
can and will take all of this away from you, just as he did for me. He
will also give you a purpose for your life. I dont know about you but
purposelessness is one of the worst feelings out there! We were all
created in the image of God, and he loves us so much, and he wants
us to have the best life possible. He already has everything planned
out for us. You just have to seek Him and His will. All of your hardships,
all of the painful memories, even all of your happiest moments in life
are reasons that God hopes you will turn to Him. I am proof of this!
My greatest sorrow in life so far has been losing my Papa. We were
extremely close. But now, I was set free from that pain. I know he is in
Heaven. Because of his death, my greatest sorrow is now the
pathway that led me to my greatest joy, and that is the hope and
faith that I have in Jesus. I am truly a new person and I am forever
grateful. I have never been this happy and full of joy in all my life. All
the glory goes to God!
I love you all. God bless!
PS: God also led me to this passage! It really hits home with me, since I
am having these dreams.
Acts 2: 17-21
In the last days, God says,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your young men will see visions,
your old men will dream dreams.
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