Mannheim, 5 November, 1777

Dearest cozz buzz!

I have received reprieved your highly esteemed writing biting, and I have noted doted that my
uncle garfuncle, my aunt slant, and you too, are all well mell. We, too, thank god, are in good
fettle kettle. Today I got a letter setter from my Papa Haha safely into my paws claws. I hope you
too have gotten rotten my note quote that I wrote to you from Mannheim. So much the better,
better the much so! But now for some thing more sensuble.
So sorry to hear that Herr Abbate Salate has had another stroke choke. But I hope with the help
of God fraud the consequences will not be dire mire. You are writing fighting that you keep your
criminal promise which you gave me before my departure from Augspurg, and will do it soon
moon. Well, I will most likely find that regretable. You write further, indeed you let it all out, you
expose yourself, you indicate to me, you bring me the news, you announce onto me, you state in
broad daylight, you demand, you desire, you wish you want, you like, you command that I, too,
should send you my Portrait. Eh bien, I shall mail fail it for sure. Oui, by the love of my skin, I
shit on your nose, so it runs down your chin.
aprops. do you also have the spuni cuni fait?what?whether you still love me?I believe it!
so much the better, better the much so! Yes, that's the way of the world, I'm told, one has the
purse, the other has the gold; whom do you side with?with me, n'est-ce pas?I believe it! Now
things are even worse, aprops.
Wouldn't you like to visit Herr Gold-smith again?but what for?what?nothing!just to
inquire, I guess, about the Spuni Cuni fait, nothing else, nothing else?well, well, all right. Long
live all those who, whowhowhohow does it go on?I now wish you a good night, shit in
your bed with all your might, sleep with peace on your mind, and try to kiss your own behind; I
now go off to never-never land and sleep as much as I can stand. Tomorrow we'll speak freak
sensubly with each other. Things I must you tell a lot of, believe it you hardly can, but hear
tomorrow it already will you, be well in the meantime. Oh my ass burns like fire! what on earth
is the meaning of this!maybe muck wants to come out? yes, yes, muck, I know you, see you,
taste youandwhat's thisis it possible? Ye Gods!Oh ear of mine, are you deceiving me?
No, it's truewhat a long and melancholic sound!today is the write I fifth this letter. Yesterday
I talked with the stern Frau Churfustin, and tomorrow, on the 6th, I will give a performance in
her chambers, as the Furstin-Chur said to me herself. Now for something real sensuble!
A letter or letters addressed to me will come into your hands, and I must beg of youwhere?
well a fox is no hareyes there!Now, where was I?oh yes, now, I remember: letters, letters
will comebut what kind of letters?well now, letters for me, of course, I want to make sure
that you send these to me; I will let you know where I'll be going from Mannheim. Now, Numero
2: I'm asking you, why not?I'm asking you, dearest numbskull, why not?if you are writing
anyway to Madame Tavernier in Munich, please include regards from me to the Mademoiselles
Freysinger, why not?Curious! why not?and to the Younger, I mean Frauline Josepha, tell her
I'll send my sincere apologies, why not?why should I not apologize?Curious!I don't know

why not?I want to apologize that I haven't yet sent her the sonata that I promised, but I will
send it as soon as possible, why not?whatwhy not?why shouldn't I send it?why should I
not transmit it?why not?Curious! I wouldn't know why not?well, then you'll do me this
favor;why not?why shouldn't you do this for me?why not?, it's so strange! After all, I'll do
it to you too, if you want me to, why not?why shouldn't I do it to you?curious! why not?I
wouldn't know why not?and don't forget to send my Regards to the Papa and Mama of the 2
young ladies, for it is terrible to be letting and forgetting one's father and mother. Later, when
the sonata is finished,I will send you the same, and a letter to boot; and you will be so kind as
to forward the same to Munich.
And now I must close and that makes me morose. Dear Herr Uncle, shall we go quickly to the
Holy Cross Covent and see whether anybody is still up?we won't stay long, just ring the bell,
that's all. Now I must relate to you a sad story that happened just this minute. As I am in the
middle of my best writing, I hear a noise in the street. I stop writingget up, go to the window
andthe noise is goneI sit down again, start writing once moreI have barely written ten
words when I hear the noise againI risebut as I rise, I can still hear something but very
faintit smells like something burningwherever I go it stinks, when I look out the window, the
smell goes away, when I turn my head back to the room, the smell comes backfinally My
Mama says to me: I bet you let one go?I don't think so, Mama. yes, yes, I'm quite certain, I put
it to the test, stick my finger in my ass, then put it to my nose, andthere is the proof! Mama
was right!
Now farwell, I kiss you 10000 times and I remain as always your
Old young Sauschwanz
Wolfgang Amad Rosenkranz
From us two Travelers a thousand
Regards to my uncle and aunt.
To every good friend I send
My greet feet; addio nitwit.
Love true true true until the grave,
If I live that long and do behave.