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VIT MT BI IELTS WRITING

TASK 1 BAND 8.0
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BY NGOC BACH

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian
Children.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown.
You should write at least 150 words.

DN BI CHUNG
+ M BI
+ TNG QUAN

+ THN BI 1
+ THN BI 2

M BI
CU BI:
The graph below gives information about the
preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
PARAPHRASE

CU VIT LI:
The bar chart illustrates the data about 5 activities
Australian children prefer to do in their spare time.

TNG QUAN
Tm 2 c im chung ca hnh ???

Overall, boys do more of each activity than girls (except

for arts and crafts and watching TV or videos) . Another
visible trend is that, while boys are more active than girls,
both still prefer sedentary activities such as TV and video
games

THN BI
Body 1

Body 2

The percentage of Australian youngsters in both genders watching TV

or videos is equal, at 100%. Electronic or computer games are much
more preferred by boys than by girls. The figures are slightly over 80%
and 60% respectively. Likewise, bike riding also attracts boys more
than girls in their spare time. Boys involvement in this activity is nearly
80%, whereas the figure for girls is a little under 60%.

Around 40% of 5-to-14-year-old boys enjoy skateboarding or

rollerblading, while the proportion of girls at this age is only
slightly more than 20%. In contrast, the figure for girls spending
their leisure time on art and craft is greater than their male
counterparts, at just under 60% and approximately 35%
respectively

The bar chart illustrates the data about 5 activities Australian children prefer to do
in their spare time.
Overall, boys do more of each activity than girls (except for arts and crafts and
watching TV or videos) . Another visible trend is that, while boys are more active
than girls, both still prefer sedentary activities such as TV and video games
The percentage of Australian youngsters in both genders watching TV or videos is
equal, at 100%. Electronic or computer games are much more preferred by boys
than by girls. The figures are slightly over 80% and 60% respectively. Likewise,
bike riding also attracts boys more than girls in their spare time. Boys
involvement in this activity is nearly 80%, whereas the figure for girls is a little
under 60%.
Around 40% of 5-to-14-year-old boys enjoy skateboarding or rollerblading, while
the proportion of girls at this age is only slightly more than 20%. In contrast, the
figure for girls spending their leisure time on art and craft is greater than their
male counterparts, at just under 60% and approximately 35% respectively
181 words
Written by Ngoc Bach

ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR A BAND 8.0 ?

+ Task response: (details)
- The first paragraph was a concise and accurate paraphrase of what the chart contains.
I changed enough words to satisfy the examiner.
- I identified two key points and I provided a clear overview.
+ Coherence and cohesion (details)
The organisation of my detail paragraphs was clear, and it enabled me to make
comparisons consistently between the leisure activities of boys and girls. The result was
a comprehensive and organised report.
+ Lexical resource: (details)
Vocabulary to express comparison and contrast: Likewise/In contrast/while/whereas.
I used a good range of words to refer to boys and girls: both genders/male
counterparts/youngsters/Australian children
+ Grammar: (details)
The correct use of adverb clauses and comparative forms and i varied the structures of
my sentences.

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