DNMS: What it is and How it Works

Page 1 of 6

The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy:

What It Is and How It Works
The DNMS is a multidimensional, comprehensive, strengths-based, client-centered, ego-state therapy that treats complex trauma
wounds, such as those inflicted by repeated physical, emotional, or sexual abuse; and attachment wounds such as those inflicted
by chronic neglect, rejection, enmeshment, or misattunement. It consists of several gentle, supportive DNMS protocols that:
Build self-esteem
Desensitize traumas
Calm hostile introjects
Reduce internal conflicts
Overcome processing blocks
Integrate dissociated parts of self
Repair childhood attachment wounds
Reduce unwanted behaviors, beliefs, and emotions
Use alternating bilateral stimulation (made popular by EMDR therapy)
The DNMS protocols are informed by developmental psychology, self-reparenting therapy, attachment theory, EMDR therapy,
and an understanding of mirror neurons. It has been found helpful for treating depression, anxiety, panic disorder, social phobias,
substance abuse, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, relationship problems, obsessions/compulsions, sexual abuse, eating
disorders, dissociative disorders, borderline personality disorder, sexual addiction, self-injurious behavior, and complicated grief.
While the DNMS is used most often to treat present-day problems that originated with emotional wounds inflicted in childhood,
it can resolve wounds inflicted in adulthood, as well.

What Makes the DNMS Different?

The standard of care for treating complex trauma wounds is the trauma-treatment model a three-stage approach including
a rapport-building/stabilization stage, a trauma-desensitization stage, and an integration/resolution stage. This model is based
on the assumption that clients unwanted behaviors, beliefs, and emotions originate with trauma, and that stabilization followed
by trauma desensitization will lead to the desired change.
This model is popular because it can work well for some clients. Unfortunately its not always helpful. For example, some adult
clients who grew up feeling unhappy and insecure do not always have specific childhood traumas to desensitize; and some
who have actual childhood traumas to desensitize, experience minimal growth or change after theyre desensitized. This makes
sense if a clients insecurity has more to do with unmet attachment needs than particular traumatic events.
The DNMS offers a different treatment model. It gives equal importance to bad things that happened (e.g. abuse), and to
important good things that did not happen (e.g. loving attunement, nurturing, validation, encouragement, reassurance, etc.). Its
based on the assumption that parts of self can get stuck in childhood when growing up with significant unmet needs and devaluing
wounding messages. By focusing on primarily on needs, we address all the unmet needs experienced around attachment failures
(like rejection, neglect, enmeshment, and misattunement), as well as any unmet needs for safety (also called trauma).
Instead of focusing on trauma, the DNMS focuses mostly on healing maladaptive introjects. These introjects hold recordings of
devaluing messages conveyed by unkind people in the past (e.g. Youre worthless). When triggered, these introjects can play
back those old messages to reactive parts constantly re-wounding reactive parts and creating the illusion that the old painful
experiences are still happening and relevant right now. The DNMS starts by guiding clients to mobilize three internal Resources
(a Nurturing, Protective, and Spiritual Self). These Resources will calm and reassure reactive parts; and thoroughly and
systematically meet introjects unmet attachment needs now with love, support, validation, protection, etc. When introjects get
completely unstuck from the past, reactive parts experience a great sense of relief, and unwanted behaviors, beliefs, and emotions
diminish. While trauma memories are never specifically targeted for desensitization, complete desensitization of painful
memories and wounding messages occurs as a side effect, as maladaptive introjects get unstuck from the past.
DNMS Institute, LLC

www.DNMSInstitute.com

210-561-7881

Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC

sjs@DNMSInstitute.com

210-863-3694

DNMS: What it is and How it Works

Page 2 of 6

The DNMS consists of several structured, proven protocols, including

Resource Development Protocol - Guides clients to connect to an inner Resource team.
Switching the Dominance Protocol - Used to quickly defuse maladaptive introjects and quiet their wounding messages,
to help clients with day-to-day struggles or to clear processing blocks.
Conference Room Protocol - Used to identify and defuse the many maladaptive introjects connected to a single targeted
theme (like abandonment fear, sexual safety, enmeshment, etc.).
Needs Meeting Protocol - Resource team joins with a group of wounded parts (especially introjects) connected to a
single theme, to help them get completely unstuck from the past by meeting all their unmet needs now.
Techniques for Overcoming Processing Blocks - Drawn from all these protocols.
Throughout the DNMS protocols, the therapist communicates directly with individual wounded parts, and facilitates communication
between wounded parts and Resource parts. Because this is not the way people usually talk to each other, it can seem odd at
first, but clients love it when they see how effective it is.
The initial stages of the DNMS can stabilize clients in two ways. (1) By mobilizing Resources and (2) by applying interventions
both client and therapist can use to calm and reassure wounded parts when they get triggered. However, the main benefits occur
later, when wounded parts get completely unstuck and can no longer be triggered.
Primary agent for change: Many therapy models emphasize the importance of the therapeutic alliance suggesting that by
listening with compassion and empathy, and modeling unconditional acceptance and understanding, over time a therapist can
give a client enough corrective emotional experiences to heal old attachment wounds. While this may work with some clients, it
puts a big burden on the therapist. During the DNMS, a therapists attunement to a client is very important, but once a client
has gotten past the rapport-building stage, the primary agent for change is not a therapeutic alliance with the therapist. Rather,
its the loving, supportive, stabilizing relationship wounded parts have with the Resources. This shifts the responsibility of meeting
unmet emotional needs from the therapist, to the clients own Resources.

Background
Parts of Self
Everyone has parts of self. Perhaps you have experienced ambivalence, when one part of you wanted to eat healthy food, while
another part wanted to eat junk. You may have noticed that you have different states of mind for different roles perhaps you
have a professional work self, which is different from a playful parent self, which is different from a romantic lover self.
Healthy parts of self form in response to positive, affirming relationships with loving and attuned people. They live in the
present, feel and manage the full range of emotions, hold positive beliefs about self/world, and engage in desirable behaviors.
Wounded parts of self form in response to traumas and to wounding relationships with abusive, neglectful, rejecting, or
enmeshing people. They are stuck in the past, and in painful emotions. They hold negative, irrational beliefs about self/world,
and engage in unwanted behaviors. Healthy parts and wounded parts can have competing agendas, which can lead to internal
conflicts and distress.

Getting Stuck in Childhood

Children grow and develop in stages. Each developmental stage involves a set of needs that should be met by parents or caregivers.
The degree to which developmental needs were not adequately met is the degree to which a person may be stuck in childhood.
A child part can get stuck if significant emotional needs go unmet for a long time, or if a single painful event is especially
overwhelming. Then, in adulthood, behaviors, beliefs, or emotions connected to those unresolved childhood experiences can get
triggered. For example, an adult may feel confident one minute, then, after something upsetting happens, suddenly sees the
world through the eyes of a sad, angry, or fearful child.
A child experiencing extreme abuse, neglect, rejection, enmeshment, or invalidation can get stuck. Even loving, well-meaning
caregivers can leave a child part stuck in the past if they fail to parent well enough, for example if (1) they dont know how to
attune to a child, (2) they dont know how to raise a child with complex needs, (3) a childs needs are not matched with the
caregivers parenting style, (4) the caregivers have unresolved emotional issues, (5) the caregivers are under extreme stress,
and/or (6) situational hardships make it impossible for caregivers to meet needs they would otherwise be able to meet (e.g.
financial problems, health problems, natural disasters, war).
DNMS Institute, LLC

www.DNMSInstitute.com

210-561-7881

Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC

sjs@DNMSInstitute.com

210-863-3694

DNMS: What it is and How it Works

Page 3 of 6

The Model Overview

Reactive Parts of Self
Child parts that form in reaction to wounding caregivers are called reactive parts. Some reactive parts hold raw emotions, like
anxiety, terror, anger, sadness, hopelessness, grief, despair, and shame. Some hold details of traumatic experiences. Some reactive
parts engage in coping behaviors such as overeating, starving, complying, intimidating, overachieving, drinking, withdrawing,
etc. All reactive parts have good intentions, no matter how problematic their behavior may be. Clients notice the problems
created by reactive parts. These are the problems they want therapy to fix, such as: depression, withdrawing, perfectionism,
eating disorders, substance abuse, anxiety, anger, and trauma memories.

Introjects
Thanks to mirror neurons, we automatically and unconsciously form mental representations of people we observe. Its not a
choice its a biological reflex that we have no control over. Usually, these representations are not lasting and exert no meaningful
long-term influence. However, when we interact with people who are especially important to us (like parents), over a long period
(like childhood), those mental representations persist. It appears mirror neurons make and save recordings of significant
messages. These recordings can lead to parts of self called introjects. We can introject people who are supportive, loving, and
kind. We call these adaptive introjects. We can also introject people who are unkind, neglectful, abusive, or rejecting. These
maladaptive introjects play back recordings of others wounding messages, like Youre worthless, Youre irrelevant, or You
dont matter keeping reactive parts stuck in the past.
The DNMS assumes a childs basic true nature is good with a
natural curiosity and eagerness to learn and a desire to be in
respectful harmony with self and others. Because a wounding
message will not match a childs good true nature, a recording
of it will attach superficially to an innocent part of self, like a
mask or costume of the wounding person. The part does not
like it, want it, or need it, but cannot remove it (without help).

Maladaptive Introject

I dont like

@#!&@

Maladaptive
introject mask

this mask!

Part of self wearing

the introject mask

In the picture below, you see reactive parts form when a parent repeatedly conveys a wounding message. They can react to the
wounding with behaviors, beliefs, and emotions like sadness, fear, anger, withdrawing, pleasing, controlling, numbing, selfloathing, perfectionism, etc. An introject of the parent will also form, and it will repeat that parents wounding message.

What Happened in Childhood

DNMS Institute, LLC

www.DNMSInstitute.com

210-561-7881

Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC

sjs@DNMSInstitute.com

210-863-3694

DNMS: What it is and How it Works

Page 4 of 6

When stressful experiences happen in adulthood, the maladaptive introjects that formed in childhood can get activated, and
deliver a wounding message from the past to reactive parts now. This keeps the reactive parts triggered and stuck in the past.

What Happens Now

DNMS Resources
In the DNMS, special guided meditations are used to help a client connect to three Resource parts of self: a Spiritual Core Self
(or Core Self), a Nurturing Adult Self, and a Protective Adult Self.

The Spiritual Core Self: Considered the core of ones being. Its a state of mind experienced during meditation, prayer, yoga,
peak spiritual experiences, enlightening near-death experiences, and profound connections with nature usually for just a few
minutes at a time. Some people believe this is a part of self that existed before the body arrived and will exist after the body dies.
The following qualities, commonly experienced during deep prayer or meditation, are characteristic of the Spiritual Core Self.
Sense of interconnectedness to all beings

No desires or aversions

Sense of completeness and wholeness

Unconditional, effortless happiness

Sense of safety and invulnerability

Unconditional, effortless acceptance

No ego, no struggles

Unconditional, effortless loving kindness, compassion

Non-judgmental, non-critical

Timeless, cosmic wisdom and understanding

All things and events are equally special

Timelessness; present moment is precious and full

For those of faith, this is the part of self that resonates with divine love from a higher power. Connecting to this Resource does
not require a belief in God or spirituality. Clients averse to notions of spirituality can be guided to connect to a Core Self.

The Nurturing & Protective Adult Self: Most people have all the skills needed to be a good enough caregiver, whether
they are aware of it or not. A caregiver skill that was applied just once in the past can be applied again in the future. The DNMS
uses two guided meditations to heighten awareness of these skills. One meditation strengthens a Nurturing Adult Self (a part of
self that can competently nurture a loved one), the other strengthens a Protective Adult Self (a part of self that can competently
protect a loved one). The meditations are anchored by a
clients personal, meaningful relationship with a child,
The Healing Circle
pet, plants, or helpless person. A remarkable experience
Spiritual Core Self
current or past when all or most of the skills on a list
of 24 caregiver skills and traits were naturally, effortlessly,
and appropriately applied.

Healing Circle: Once a client has established each

Nurturing
Adult Self

Protective
Adult Self

Resource, all three are invited to come together as a

team, to form a Healing Circle. Later, wounded parts will
be invited inside the Circle, where the Resources will
provide the emotional repair necessary to help them get
totally unstuck.
DNMS Institute, LLC

www.DNMSInstitute.com

210-561-7881

Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC

sjs@DNMSInstitute.com

210-863-3694

DNMS: What it is and How it Works

Page 5 of 6

Getting Unstuck

When Maladpative Introject is

Unstuck, Reactive Parts Feel Relief

The DNMS focuses special attention on getting maladaptive introjects totally unstuck. The Conference
Room Protocol serves to identify and defuse a group
of maladaptive introjects connected to a single
targeted theme (like perfectionism, enmeshment,
abandonment fear, sexual safety, etc.). The Needs
Meeting Protocol guides the Resources to (1) meet all
their unmet needs - one at a time, (2) help them
process through painful emotions, and (3) strengthen
a loving emotional bond. As these needs get met, the
introjects begin to feel safe, wanted, and loved, so they
can return to expressing their good true nature. As a side
effect, the masks/costumes disappear for good, and
never again play back the wounding messages.

After DNMS Processing

As maladaptive introjects heal and get totally unstuck,

they transform into parts of self that are loving and
supportive. All the associated reactive parts experience
great relief, and their unwanted behaviors, beliefs, and
emotions abate.
Clients are then better prepared to respond to other
people and to stressful events, with adult skills and
strengths and without wounded parts of self getting
triggered and overreacting.

DNMS Institute, LLC

www.DNMSInstitute.com

210-561-7881

Mature,
sensitive, loving,
attuned Resources
Youre okay

Unresolved Disturbance

Connection
During DNMS

See diagram on the right. Before the DNMS begins, wounded

parts who are stuck in the past suffer from unresolved wounds.
Theyre relatively disconnected from Resource parts of self. When
triggered, they feel powerless. During the DNMS, they make a
healing connection with loving, attuned Resources who are
grounded in the present. As the Resources meet their unmet
needs, those important neural pathways are strengthened. When
all the needs are met, the wounded parts become totally unstuck
and join the Resources in the present. Neural integration with the
Resources is complete. After DNMS therapy, clients report feeling
more integrated and whole, and better able to manage their
emotions.

Isolated
child part
stuck in the past
Im bad

Isolated
child part
stuck in the past
Im bad

New
Neural
Pathway

Mature,
sensitive, loving,
attuned Resources
Youre okay

Disturbance Resolving

Integrated
child part
Im okay

Connection
After DNMS

Loving, attuned caregivers will positively support a child to play,

explore, socialize, individuate, and mature in healthy ways. Over
time, the childs brain develops the neural pathways needed for
the self-regulation of emotions. If a child is not supported to
engage in healthy, age-appropriate play, exploration, socialization,
and individuation, these neural pathways may not form well
enough. The child will grow up feeling insecure, and in adulthood
will have trouble relating to others and managing painful emotions.
DNMS therapy appears to support the adult brains development
of the important neural pathways needed for the self-regulation
of emotion.

Disconnection
Before DNMS

The DNMS Leads to Neural Integration

Mature,
sensitive, loving,
attuned Resources
Youre okay

Totally Unstuck = Disturbance Resolved

Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC

sjs@DNMSInstitute.com

210-863-3694

DNMS: What it is and How it Works

Page 6 of 6

Alternating Bilateral Stimulation (ABS)

In 1989, Francine Shapiro discovered that rapid side-to-side eye movements could be used to help desensitize trauma memories.
Eye movements became a cornerstone of the Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. Someone
discovered that alternating bilateral tactile stimulation and alternating bilateral auditory stimulation were just as effective as eye
movements during EMDR therapy. These three alternatives are referred to as Alternating Bilateral Stimulation (ABS).
Harvard University sleep researcher Robert Stickgold proposed that ABS, when applied with a protocol like EMDR, may
accomplish the same type of memory consolidation that occurs during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep where associations
between neural networks can become activated and strengthened. He postulated that isolated neural networks can more easily
connect to positive adaptive neural networks when ABS is applied. Shapiro observed that rapid eye movements could help
strengthen positive beliefs about self.
So ABS is applied during the DNMS protocols to strengthen a clients connection to Resources, to help facilitate communication
between child parts and Resources, to support each need being met by the Resources, and to strengthen any positive feelings
and beliefs that arise during processing.
Most clients prefer to do the DNMS with their eyes closed, so ABS is usually applied as alternating bilateral tactile or auditory
stimulation. Tactile ABS is usually applied with an electronic device called a TheraTapper. www.theratapper.com It has two
small vibrating pulsers that can be applied anywhere on the body bilaterally (e.g. in each hand, under each leg, in each sock).
Auditory ABS is usually applied with alternating bilateral sounds or tones coming through headphones. We recommend
BioLateral for that. https://biolateral.com/catalog/downloadable-biolateral-mp3s.
Although clinical observation suggests DNMS clients may process more deeply or quickly when ABS is present, it is not an
essential component of the protocols. DNMS sessions without ABS have also been successful. Clients can opt not to use it.
DNMS versus EMDR: Even though the DNMS uses ABS, it is neither EMDR nor a form of EMDR. The DNMS protocols have little
in common with EMDR protocols. The DNMS is intended primarily for symptoms that grew out of unmet childhood needs - such
as neglect, abuse, rejection, enmeshment, and unskillful parenting, and is focused on remediating unmet needs. EMDR is a
protocol for desensitizing trauma. It works best for symptoms related to single-incident traumas that are not related to unmet
childhood needs.

In Conclusion
The DNMS offers hope to therapists looking for a comprehensive, gentle, structured path to help clients resolve complex trauma
and attachment wounds. The DNMS offers talk therapy clinicians a tool for deeper processing. It offers trauma-treatment
clinicians a tool for gentler processing. It offers all clinicians a means for addressing all-important, and difficult to treat,
attachment wounds.

About the DNMS Developer

Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA is an LPC in San Antonio, TX. She's the founder of the DNMS Institute
and author of The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy: An Ego State Therapy for Healing
Adults With Childhood Trauma and Attachment Wounds. She's trained hundreds of clinicians
in the DNMS model at regional, national, and international workshops and conferences since
2002. She moderates an 800-member DNMS professional listserv. She is a past president of the
San Antonio Trauma & Dissociation Professional Study Group. For 6 years she was an EMDRIAApproved EMDR Consultant. She has published many articles about EMDR, ego state therapy,
pain management, and the DNMS. She holds the patent on the TheraTapper, a bilateral tactile
stimulation device that has been sold world-wide to DNMS and EMDR therapists.

Published Research
There are currently two published, peer-reviewed journal research articles about the DNMS. The first is the Developmental
Needs Meeting Strategy: A New Treatment Approach Applied to Dissociative Identity Disorder, published in the Journal of
Trauma and Dissociation in December 2004. The second is the Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy: Eight Case Studies.
Published in Traumatology in March 2007. Both articles are posted at www.dnmsinstitute.com.
DNMS Institute, LLC

www.DNMSInstitute.com

210-561-7881

Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC

sjs@DNMSInstitute.com

210-863-3694