argument be more successful than an angry disrespectful one? According to French philosopher Andre Comte-Sponville, morality starts at the bottom with politeness. But it has to start somewhere. The point is that we are not born virtuous, we have learn to be so and practising politeness is one of the ways to develop a robust code of ethics to guide us through life. But practising politeness in the real world is not as easy as it used to be. Researchers have found that society is becoming increasingly polarized along ideological lines and polite disagreement is an increasingly rare phenomena. Although having a rant might feel good at the time, research has shown that anger is negatively reinforcing behaviour and tends to make us more entrenched in our own belief systems. Angry confrontations are rarely a positive experience for anyone involved. This is why politeness can go a long way you dont have to scream, rant and go for the jugular. Politeness allows you to pay attention, express empathy and respect the feelings of other people. Its so common nowadays, in both the media and real life, to conflate the actual person with the issue thats being debated. The two should not be confused. An argument is just an immaterial construct. A person on the other hand, is a fellow human entitled to dignity and respect, even if you disagree with something they happen to be saying or thinking. Aristotle, the father of logic, recognized that attacking your debate partner and not their point of view is a logical fallacy, a flawed form of argumentation. If you attack someone personally, you have not only violated all the rules of polite disagreement, you have also lost the debate. In a society that downplays cooperation and encourages winning, often at any cost, losing an argument signifies failure. But the very act of having a polite disagreement with someone is a victory in itself. Its nice if you can persuade someone, but its not about beating them over the head with your point. The goal of polite disagreement is to understand the issue at a deeper level and ideally, if possible, to end up on the same page. If that isnt possible, just agree to disagree about the issue at hand and move on. Since the current decline in civil debate makes it even more important to examine our own viewpoints and the way we handle disagreements. To better facilitate understanding, and to grow as individuals, disagreement must be handled in a mutually respectful way, free from anger and unbridled emotions.