WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU READ PROVERBS 31?

Christian Gogogwute Okwudiwa (#ChrisloveCGO)

Is it about the qualities and characteristics of a virtuous woman?
Is it all about how to recognize "wife-materials"?
If those are your preoccupations and key ideas of Proverbs 31, then you either did not study the
chapter holistically or like most of us (I used to believe so until today), you study it closemindedly. I have always believed that Proverbs 31 is the chapter to study as a man look for a
"wife material" or that is good for a woman that wants to live an honorable life. I never knew
that it was a very loaded scripture for both alike. The underlining problem is that we have
historically focused on the last 22 verses and completely ignore the first 9 key verses. Funny
enough, the book is an embodiment of some pieces of advice, prophesies and instructions, from a
loving mother to a cherished son. So in this write-up, I will explore the first 9 verses that directly
speak to and address the recipient of the prophesy, King Lemuel.
Why Are The First 9 Verses Important?
These are very important to the man because it gives him a sense of direction on how to live an
honorable life. Someone once said that 'you attract the equivalent of your most dominant
thoughts'. Someone also says that 'you attract who you are'. This means that if you as a man
wants a virtuous woman, you need to be a virtuous man. This I believe is one of the reasons why
she (King Lemuel's mom) spent the first 9 verses addressing him.
THE ADVICE
First Advice: "Do Not Give Your Strength To Women" - this is a very significant piece of
advice. She is advising him against promiscuity. From this, we learn that as a man, you lose your
strength by moving from one girl or lady to another. There is a loss of virility in every act of
promiscuity. You are killing yourself feeling that you are 'enjoying'. That is a grossly
irresponsible and dishonorable lifestyle.
Second Advice: "Nor Your Ways To That Which Destroy Kings" - there are numerous things
that can destroy or that have destroyed great kings. One of them is polygamy. Let us use King
Solomon as the case note here. He is said to be "beloved of God" (Nehemiah 13:26), and God
Himself described as the "wisest man ever" (1 Kings 3:12, 4:30). but despite his unmatched
wisdom, honor, power, and influence, was destroyed by polygamy and being unequally yoked
with unbelievers (Deuteronomy 17:17, Nehemiah 13:26-27, 2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Kings 11:113).
Third Advice: "It Is Not For Kings To Drink Wine, Nor Princes Strong Drink" (verse4) - alcohol
is strictly forbidden for people in positions of authority. And as you know, we are all in positions
of authority but in different capacities. While some have a wider influence, some have much
smaller influence or jurisdiction. For example, an elder sibling is responsible for his/her younger
ones (small), a parent for the family (large), a king for his kingdom (larger), CEO for his
company and employees, President/Prime Minister for the country (much larger jurisdiction).
Although it seems that the parent's or elder sibling's action is of lesser influence but in reality, it

is one of the most significant roles. This is because the family is the backbone of the society and
the most important agent of socialization. She (Lemuel's mom) prohibits him from alcoholism
because alcohol can lead to forgetfulness of the law, misguided actions and perversion of justice
for the afflicted. Also, wine is for "him who is ready to perish"(v6). According to a commentary,
alcohol or wine is given to condemned criminals to be crucified in order to lessen the pain of
their suffering. This is why it was offered to Jesus Christ while on the cross (Matthew 27:34
http://biblehub.com/commentaries/proverbs/31-6.htm) which He rejected. Alcohol to them is like
an anesthesia. Remember the story of Noah and his daughters (Genesis 19:33). Alcohol enslaves
the heart (Hosea 4:11).
Fourth Advice: "Open Your Mouth For The Speechless" (verse8) - for you to be an honorary or
virtuous man, you need to be the voice of the voiceless. Stand up, speak out and defend those
who cannot speak for themselves. There are numerous people suffering all over the world not
because they have done something wrong but because they could not speak for or defend
themselves. Be the 'eye to the blind and leg to the lame'. Be their advocate (Psalms 82, Job
29:15).
Fifth Advice: "Judge Righteously, And Plead The Cause Of The Poor And Needy" (verse9) judge fairly without partiality. Give the right judgment to people irrespective of their status,
background or age. Do not 'respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty:
but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbors (Leviticus 19:15, Deuteronomy 1:16).
Remember God is 'no respecter of persons' and He has made us in His own image and likeness.
We are charged to be like God in all ramification.
Application of these five pieces of advice in your daily life makes you a virtuous and honorable
man and qualifies you to proceed to the next 18 verses in search for the virtuous woman. The
conclusion of this write-up is a charge or message to the future me or the man who has found his
virtuous wife. Let you heart trust her. Honor and praise her. Teach your children to rise up and
call her blessed. Give her the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates (do
not take glory for her work) (v28-31).
_Christian G. Okwudiwa (September 1st, 2016 - in the Mission House, RCCG -ICCC)