Sept 2016

ISSUE 1
07.09.2016

FROM THE COUNSELORS DESK

BALA VIDYA MANDIR, ADYAR
FROM

Teaching children accountability for their

actions / behaviour.
Children nowadays are generally known for having a low tolerance
for frustration. They want things to go their way. When something
happens thats unexpected, disappointing or requires the use of
coping skills, many children have a difficult time handling such
situations effectively. Some older children and teens still engage in
tantrum behaviors long past the age we might expect. Why? They
may not have the skills to handle the stress theyre experiencing.
Physically releasing that energy (by hitting, pushing, breaking, etc)
helps them relieve their distress for the momenteven though its
unpleasant for everyone around them.
We would at this juncture like to highlight the damage of a spectacle (
photograph attached) of a high school student by one of his
classmates. The child who had damaged the lens had behaved in a
passive aggressive manner the reasons may be many but no matter
what the reason is for the childs behaviour, he needs to be held
accountable. Just like when youre in a store: you break it, you
buy it.
It is essential and critical that along with our interest to enable our
children to get the highest grades in academics it is also important to
motivate our children to develop healthier, more mature coping skills.
When the child grows up to be an adult and in a fit of anger breaks or
smashes the windshield of his friends car and stands before the
judge and says Im really sorry, Your Honour. I was just so upset,
its not going to save him from the consequences.

Let us make sure our children know that getting frustrated

sometimes is ok but, destroying property is not acceptable, in
any circumstances .Be clear in your expectations and what
the consequences will be if your child does destroy your
property.
Talk with your child during a calm moment about things he
can do instead of breaking things when he gets upset.
Give him the opportunity and space to calm down when hes
upset. Assist children to use, music, drawing, clay, Play -Doh
, writing or any other non-destructive activity they might be
interested in to release feelings, which will eventually reduce
the use of abusive words and actions.
Some children break their own things when theyre upset or
angry. If your child gets angry, throws his iPod and it breaks,
the natural consequence is that he no longer has an iPod.
Dont buy him a new one!

Let us, with fervour, as teachers and parents take up this task of
sensitising and teaching our children healthy limits and boundaries
when we hold them accountable for their misdeeds.