Great

SMS
Collection

GREAT SMS
COLLECTION
1. Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana, agar wo so
raha ho to shor mat machana, jab wo jaag jaye to
dhire se muskurana, fhir kehna kanjus SMS kar.
2. Hum na hote to gazal kaun kehta, Aap ke chehere
ko kamal kaun kehta, Yeh to karishma hai mahobbat
ka, varna patthar ko taj mahal kaun kheta.
3. Jab tota hua dirty to tote se boli maina dont u
worry serf excel hai na.
4. U to ham kisi ka picha nahi karte, darde dil liya aur
diya nahi karte, Ittefak se yeh dosti hai tumse, varna
itni kimti SMS kisi ko kiya nahi karte.
5. Bekabu hai dil fhir bhi jiya ja raha hu, Khali hai
botal fhir bhi piye jar aha hu, Majburi to dheko iss dil
ki, fhir bhi SMS kiye ja raha hu.
6. Aansu tere nikle to aankhe meri ho, Dil tera
dhadke to dhadkan meri ho, khuda kare ki dosti
hamare itni gehri ho, ki naukri tum karo aur pagar
meri ho.
7. Aapko miss karna roz ki baat hai, Yad karna aadat
ki baat hai, Aapse dur rehna kismet ki baat hai,
magar aapko zehlna himmat ki baat hai.

8 Mulk ki bhi ek sarhad hoti hai , Bachach

ki bhi ek zid hoti hai , Aur kitna intzaar

karu tere SMS ka Are yar kanjusi ki bhi ek

had hoti hai.
9 Pyaar ke gum ko aise na piyo , Ki aadha
piya aur addha chodd diya , Yaro yeh
pyaar hai nahi koi vim bar hai , jo thoda
sa lagaya aur ho gaya.
10 Machchar ne jo kata to dil mein ek
junun tha , Kujli itni hui ki dil besukun tha
, pakda to chod diya yeh soch kar , sale ki
ragoan mien aapna hi koon tha.
11 Train ruki, kidki khuli, nazeren mili,
usne kaha - chai - chai garam chai.
12 Gandhi jib hi gujar gaye , Nehru jib hi
nahi rahe , meri tabiyat bhi thik nahi pata
nahi iss desh ka kya hoga.
13 Yeh tera chehra hai yaa kela ka chilka ,
jo dekta hai phisal jata hai.
14 Dukaan mein main gaya tha lene
kismebar , per dhekha jo dukaan wali ko
to bola kisme bar bar.
15 Apple kata huin knife se, panni pita
huin pipe se , kya zamana aa gaya , jote
kata huin wife se.

16 Tum kya jano ki gam kya hai, gum wo

cheez hai jisse kagaz chipkaya jata hai.
17 Na botal mein na jar mein
na hotel mein na bar mein
na bike pen a kar mein
aapke ke SMS ke intzaar mein .
18 Shaam hoti hai dil udas hota hai ,
tumhari yad aise waqt aati hai jab koi
Bandar aas pass hota hai .
19 Khuda ki mehfil se kuch gadhe bagh
gaye , kuck pakde gaye baki sab mere yar
ho gaye.
20 Agar aapko raat ki tanhai mein koi
tang kare , agar aapko karwate badalne
pe majboor kare , chupke se kan mein
sargoshi kare , agar gal chum le to ALL
OUT lagao machchar bagao.
21 Socha tha har mod per aapko yad
karenge , per kya kare kambouqt sadak hi
sidhi nikli .
22 Aahat se koi aye to lagta hai kit um
ho , hawa koi laherai to lagta hai kit um

ho , ab tumhi batao kyat um kisi BHOOT

se kum ho .
23 Kya bindas hawa chal rahi hai , bird
gana ga rahi hai , cow log grass kha rahi
hai , shanne log SMS kar rahe hain , aur
dhakkan log SMS pad rahe hain .
24 Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho ,
itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho , kisi ne
sikhaya hai ya bachpan se hi kamine ho ?
25 Superman dushmano se lad raha hai ,
batman raat mein ghoom raha hai ,
spiderman diwaro pe chad raha hai , aur
daburman SMS padh raha hai .
26 Ikntiyarre tabbasum, ki lau ko,
tarranume namayish, se agha dena,
jo iska matlab samaj mein aye to mujhe
bhi bata dena.
27 Jab kutte ki maut aati hai to

kutta mar jata hai.

28 count the number of stars to fulfill
your wishes. * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * ** **
* * * * * * * * * * ** pagal ho kya ? din
mein tare ginte ho .

29 boss is always right so , dont argue

with your boss. Because argueing with
your boss is like wrestling with a pig in
the mud. After a while when you become
dirty. The boss is actually enjoying it.
30 Heaven is when you have a german
car, American salary, Chinese food and
Indian wife. Hell is when car is Chinese,
wife is American and salary is Indian.
31 Test your maths. Read only once. OK
+2+7
+9
-5
+4
+8
-2
+5
-4
+12
-8
+2
The question - How many times did you
press the down button.

32 Good night, Sleep tight, Sweet

dreams. *!*!* for how long you will press
the button ! Ab lori bhi sunaye kya.
33 Lost all my hair !!!!!! Waiting for your
reply .
34 In your brain you hemispheres, right
and left. In right nothing is left and in
left nothing is right.
35 Dil mein ek shor sa ho raha hai ! bina
SMS ke dil bore sa ho raha hai ! Kahin
aisa to nahi ki koi pyara sa mujhe bhool
raha hai.
36 Two people have taken your address
from me. They are joy and happiness.
They will be in touch with you whole of
the year.
37 If you loose my phone number SMS me
and ask.
38 I like three things about you.
1 ..
2 ..
3 ..
Yar zindagi mein kuch to acha kiya hota.

39 Kya apke sir pe siengh hain. Check it .

no. koi bat nahi gadhon ke sir pe siengh
nahi hote.
40 Shyer ki gali mein pan ki dukaan.
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko pan. Pan kha
ke paro boli , Meherban , Kadardan ,
Shukriya bhaijan.
41 Namaskar mein aisa Msg. hoon jise
murkh log padte hain. Nalayak log dusro
ko forward karte hain. Gadhe delete
karte hain. Pagal store kar lete hain. Ab
aap kya karoge.
42 Agar tum intelligent ho to is sawal ka
jawab yes or no mein de ke batao.
Kya aapko pagalpan ke daure panda band
ho gaye.
43 Reliance office is my temple.
Mobile is my god.
SMS is my aim.
Sheetanshu is my name.
44 If you feel lonely press 09. If you feel
upset press 33. Want happiness press
622. Want encouragement press 50.
Worried press 37.
Press them all once - 09336225037 .

45 Habit never goes. If you remove H,A bit remains. If you remove A..bit
remains. You remove B it still remains.
So my habbit of messaging you never
goes.
46 Roses are red * * Violets are blue
* * Monkeys like you should be
kept in the zoo !!!! Dont feel alone or
worried ill be there but laughing at you.
47 Kamosh the hum to magrur samajh
liya. Chup hain hum to majboor samajh
liya.
48 Close your eyes
.
......
.
.. Eddied how you will read.
49 What do you mean by an autograph?
..
You live in my heart like a photograph.
50 Santa ke piche kutta padh gaya.
Santa bole network to airtel ka liya tha
hutch ka kahan se lag gaya.

51 Hamne kidki se dhekha to sadak pe koi

nahin tha.
Hamne khidki se dhekha to sadak pe koi
nahin tha.
Hamne sadak se dhekha to khidki pe koi
nahin tha.
52 Good morning! ! have a nice day ! ! For
how long you will press the button Ab
breakfast bhi laye kya?
53Phehla : Guess mujhme aur abdul
kalam azad mein kya similarity hai?
Doosra : Pata nahi Phehla : arey so simple
! main unke ghar nahi jaata aur wo mere
ghar nahi aate.
54
Mans biography
b4 marriage is likeAIRTEL , aisi aazadi
aur kahan.
He marriages thinking an IDEA can
change his life.
After that its HUTCH , where ever you go
your network follows.
55 Kahe school javat hai, Kahe karat
padhai, Number utne hi avat hain, Jitne ki
chit banai.
56 Samundar bhar syllabus,

Nadia bhar padh paate hain,

Balti bhar yad rehta hai,
Magha bhar likh paate hain,
Chullu bhar number aate hain,
Chalo doobkar mar jaate hain.
57 If you need advice, text
me... .......................
If you need a friend, call
me .............................
If you need me, come to
me ..............................
If you need
money .............................................
The subscriber cannot be reached.
58 If a vegetarian eat vegetables , what
does a humanitarian eat ?
59 If teachers taught , why didnt
preachers praught.
60 apun dono ka dosti ekdam jakkas hona
mangta hai.
Jakkas bole to apun HAAR to MOTI.
Apun SABJI tu ROTI.
Apun PANI tu TANKI.
Apun TARZAN tu MONKEY.

61 Botal chhupa do kafan mein, Kabar

mein piya karonga,
Jab mangega hisab khuda to peg bana ke
diya karunga.
62 HINDI TEACHER ASKS : Kaal kitne
prakar ke hote hain.
ANSWER : Local kaal , STD kaal , Trunk
kaal , ISD kaal Sasria kaal.
63 Swooer ke bachche
Kutte ke pille
Gadhe ki aulad
Bhains ke bachde
Bakri ke mamne
SAB KITNE CHOTE - CHOTE , PYARRE PYAREE HOTE HAIN.
64 U tell a man something, it goes in from
one ear and comes out from another ear.
U tell a women something it goes in both
the ears and comes out from mouth.
65 Look at ocean and see Gods
abundance
Look at the sky and Gods glory
Look at the moon and see Gods wonder
Look at the mirror and see Gods Blunder.

66 A happy boss tells his employees : You

worked very hard this year. As a reward I
will give everyone a check of Rs. 5000. If
you work with the same zeal next year, I
will sign those checks.
67 EYES : to look at you.
HANDS : to pray for you.
MIND : to care for you.
HEART : to love you.
LEGS : to kick you if you forget me.
68 Sometimes my mind asks : Why I miss
you!Why I care for you!Why I remember
you.
Then my heart answers : Because a
mental patient needs more care.
69 Wife : Years ago I had a figure like a
coke bottle.
Husband : Only difference is earlier it was
300 ml now its 1.5 l.
70 Wife : I wish I was a newspaper, so I
had been in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish you were a
newspaper, so I could have a new one
everyday.

71 Pita : Beta tum bade hokar mera naam

kaise roshan karoge?
Beta : Aap ki name plate pe bulb lagaker .
72 Life is full of - SORROW , MISERY , PAIN
but if ou fall down stand up be confident
and say - KISNE DHAKHA MARA BE.
73 Santa went to a flag shop and said to
the shopkeeper INDIA ka flag dikhao.
When shopkeeper showed the flag he
said - Isme koi dusra colour nahi hai.
74 Butia haveli ki tuti deewar ke piche
tangi hui tedi murti ke piche chipki hui
chipkali ki kati hui punch mein lage hua
bacteria ki kasam - YOU ARE MY BEST
FRIEND.
75 FOOL ne FOOL ko dhekha . magar
tumse bada FOOL nahi dhekha.
76 Santa ne kaha kuch halka sa, kuch
namkeen sa kaho. Banta bole DHOKLA.
77 Sab khahete hain kitni lazzez hai
KHICDI.
Hum khahete hain kitni azzez hai KHICDI.
Unko kya pata kya cheez hai KHICDI.

78 Santa Singh and Banta Singh went to a

beach. Santa asked = ISE BEACH KYON
KAHETE HAIN ?
Banta answered = KYON KI YEH AASMAN
AUR ZAMEEN KE BEACH MEIN HAI.
79 American said hamare yahan shadi EMAIL se bhi hoti hai.
Indian said hamare yahan to female se
hoti hai.
80 If you dont like any of my SMS and
dont like to read it, then please dont
hesitate , feel free to . . . . . . . . throw
your mobile.
81 I have written nice poem for you.
Twinkle twinkle little star.... You should
what you are.... and once you know what
you are.... Mental hospital is not so far.
82 Scientists all over the world are
wondering how long a human being can
live without a brain.... Kindly tell me your
age....
83 A reasent studdi haz shon dat people
who are werry samaarat end gudd
lukeeng mak manee spallings mistakes....
Vatt iz yorr opeeneum.

84 God thought that sinse he couldnt be

everywhere he made a mother. Then
devil thought that he couldn.t be
everywhere he made mother - in - law.
85 Little birdy in the sky, you look up and
it shits in your eye. You dont mind and
you dont cry, you just thanks god that
cows dont fly.
86 What happened to your network ? I
tried to call you but the operator said
Welcome to the jungle, the monkey you
are trying to call is on the tree ...........
please try later
87 God made coke. God made pepsi. God
made rivers. God made lakes. God made
you, well everybody makes mistakes.
88 Zindagi ek azjib peheli hai.
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

?
Keypad dabane se solve nahin hogi.
89 Frog : Sardar ko dimag hota hai?
Sardar : Hota hai.
Frog : Nahi hota.
Sardar : Hota hai.
Frog : Nahin hota and jumps into the well.
Sardar : Isme suicide karne ki kya baat
thi ???????
90 Try this out this is fun, go to msg.
select wright msg.again select options
and go to dictionary and activate
englishand type this
4026*0203665042042 ( Nokia ) .
91 Jaise lohe ko loha kathta hai
Sone ko sona kathta hai
Zaher ko zeher kathta hai
Heere ko heera kathta hai
Waise hi
Tumhe ek din kutta katega.
92 Kutta pakadne ki municipality van
udhar hi kahin ghoom rahi hai, sambhal
ke rehna.

93 Lal gulabi rang hai, jhoom raha sansar,

suraj ki kirne, khusiyon ki bahar, chand ki
chandni, apno ko pyaar, aisa ho apka holi
ka tyohar.
94 A sardar dials a number and a girl
receives his call.
SARDAR : Who is this?
GIRL : Main Geeta.
SARDAR : Main Guru Granth Sahib.
95 Ek sardar, bachpan se hi heraan,
paresan tha aur full tension mei ye soch
kar ghum raha tha ki Meri behen ke do
bhai phir mera ek hi bhai kyo?
96 To live a life one needs Brain, IQ,
Knowledge, Way of expression and many
more qualities.
Tumhe salaam boss ! You are doing great
without these !!!!
97 Santa - paji , tune bangle bada
bhadiya banaya hai. Lekin bathroom
mein bath tub bahut chota hai.
Banta - oye tu fhir se flush mein naha
aya.
98 Dil armano se house ful hai, Pure
honge ya nahi yeh doubt ful hai, Is duniya

mein har cheez won ful hai, Per zindagi

aap jaise logon se ful hai.
99 Whats the difference between
pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking
of you and torture is thinking of you too
much.
100 Hi ! Need one gal 2 marry . Age no
bar, Colour no bar, Height no bar, Caste
no bar, but gals father must have his own
bar . CHEERS .
101 A resent studdi haz shon dat peepal
hoo aar vary samaart and gud lukeeng
maik manee spallings meestaikes
vaat ees yorr opeeniun.
102 Be careful when a guy tells you that
he loves you from the bottom of his heart
for this may mean that theres still
enough space for another girl on top.
103 The best gift you can give is a hug;
one size fits all and no one ever minds if
you return it.
104 When you are down and no one is
there dont think of me. When you are
crying and no one is there then too dont

just think of me, call me up, my incoming

is free.
105 Salesman: Sir, this computer will cut
your workload 50%
Thats great Ill take two of them.
106 An astronomer was watching the sky
from his telescope. A man was observing
him. Suddenly a star falls, seeing that
the man shouted: Kya nishana lagaya hai!
107 When somebody whose deeply in
love with you tells you that you are cute,
beautiful and angelic, I agree. Thats
true, believe me, I swear because love is
blind.
108 Petrol ke rate badne par Chandu bola
: Menu koi farak nahi penda. Pehle bhi
100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka
bharwata hoon.
109 I wanted to kill the most sweetest,
smartest and most beautiful person on
earth. Then I thought SUICIDE is crime
under sec 309 IPC.
110 Look at the world as 1 big chocolate
cake. It would never be complete without

few sweets and nuts. Sweets like ME and

nuts like YOU.
111 Bhaiya
Another definition of bhaiya
B = Bada
H = Handsom
A = Aur
I = Intelligent
Y = Yaar
A = Apna
112 Master ji Kal school kyon nahi aya.
Anshu Gir gaya aur lag gai.
Master ji Kahan gire aur kahan lagi.
Anshu Takia pe gira aura ankh lag gai.
113 Yaad ayae kabhi to aankhe nam na
karma, hum chale bhi jaye to gam na
karma, Are ! koi baat nahi hum bhoot
banker DARANE tere sapno mein daily
aayge.
114 Lat night i met 7 angels and they
wanted to meet intelligent person. So i
gave them your address ! Dekha unko
kaise ullu banaya.
115 Judge to accused in court :
Gita pe haath rakhke kaho.

Accused replied :
Oye Sita pe haath rakhke to court bulwa
liya, ab phir Geeta pe haath.
116 A mad dog is chasing a man. The
man laughs while running. Know why
He says mera to airtel hai phir bhi hutch
ka network follow kar raha hai.
117 Jojo apni wife ke sath coffee shop
gaya, hot coffee order ki, coffee aate hi
wife se bola jaldi jaldi pee. Wife boli
kyon. Jojo bola hot coffee Rs. 5 and cold
coffee Rs. 10.
118 Customer to salesman : - I need pink
curtains for my computers.
Salesman : - Sir, computer doesnt need
curtains.
Customer : - Oye ! I have windows
installed.
119 Boy : - Marte waqt admi ko kya dena
chahia.
Girl : - Birla cement.
Boy : - Kyun ?
Girl : - Kyunki is cement mein jaan hai.
120 Hum apna farz nibhate rahenge. Har
samay apko satate rahenge. Dua karo

umar lambi ho hamari varna Bhoot banke

darate rahenge.
121 Life lies before you. Like a sheet of
plain snow. Tread on it carefully. Cause
every mark will show.
122 Kab tut jaye kasam hi to hai. Kab
badal jaye nazar hi to hai. Mere saath ki
adapt at dal. Kab bichad jaye zindagi hi
to hai.
123 Khush Naseeb hai aap jo hum apki
dosti ko itni shiddat se chahte hai. Warna
hum wo shaks hai jo khwab mein bhi
appointment se aate hai
124 A man was drawing money from the
ATM. The another man behind him in the
line said, Ha ! Ha ! I have seen your
password. Its four asterisks.
The first man replies, Ha ! Ha ! you are
wrong its 1258.
125 What is the height of stupidity?
Two youngsters sitting on a motorcycle
and fighting for a window seat.
126 Did you hear about the rich man who
is so rich he has two swimming pools.

One of which is always empty? Its for

people who cannot swim.
127 Santa Singh : Will this bus take me to
Jalandhar?
Driver : Which part?
Santa Singh : All of me, of course !
128 What do you call a man in a deep
well. A deep thinker.

129 Netaji calls Air India. How long does

it take to Amritsar?
Just a second. Says the customer service
assistant.
Thank you says the netaji and hangs up.
130 Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and
asks , Aap ke pas colour TV hai kya. Han
replies shopowner. Santa Singh says , Ek
hara wala dena.
131 Once lallu singh was riding a cycle
and he suddenly hit a girl. So girl
shouted , Sala ghanti nahi mar sakta tha.
And lallu replied , Pori cycle to mar de ab
ghanti alag se maru.

132 Banta singh happened to be in a

queue at a railway station ticket counter
with two men ahead of him.
Ek Punjab mail dena demanded the
man in front.
Ek Punjab mail dena the second man
asked and was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of banta singh, Ek
Punjab female dena
What do you mean by Punjab female?
Asked the clerk . It is for my wife replied
banta singh.
133 If you think there is good in
everybody, you havent met yourself.
134 Hard work has a future payoff.
Laziness pays of now.
135 First the engagement ring, then the
wedding ring, then the suffering.
136 Always remember you are unique,
just like everyone else.
137 My girl and me, we are so perfect,
she loves me, and I love myself too.
138 Message na karke dil tod diya mera,

Ab mobile dufna dena,

Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena,
Koi puche rog kya tha,
To nazerien jhuka ke apni kanjusi bata
dena.
139 Tum mujhe sms bhejo ya na bhejo,
tumhare na bhejne ka koi gam nahi,
khushi is bat ki hai ki, tumhari yeh ada
kisi kanjoos se kam nahi.
140 Jahan zindigi wahan pyar, zahan pyar
wahan mahobbat, jahan mahobbat wahan
ishk, jahan ishk wahan dard, jahan dard
wahan iodex lagao.
141 When you are alone, when you are
crying, when you are upset, dont think of
me !!!!! just call me because incoming is
free for me.. my friend.
142 Why did god create you before me.
Because he wanted to create a sample
before creating a master piece.
143 Days are too busy, hours are too fast,
seconds are too few but theres are
always time for me to disturb you.

144 Scientists all over the world are

wondering how long a human being can
live without a brain. Kindly tell me your
age.
145 Sign board outside collage : - Drive
carefully dont kill the students wait for
the lecturers.
146 What happened to your network? I
tried to call you but the operator said
Welcome to the jungle the monkey you
are trying to call is on the tree .
Please call later.
147 Unlike others. Your brain is a master
piece. It has two halves the left and the
right. The left has nothing right in it and
the right has nothing left in it.
148 so sweet is your..
SMILE .. so sweet is your
STYLE .. so sweet is your
VOICE .. so sweet is your
EYE .. see how sweetly
I LIE !!!!
149 My life was in darkness before I met
you. But now it is bright. You know
why ? Because you are a tubelight.

150 Various heights :(A) Height of isolation?

Ans. Two persons sitting side by side
using e-mails to communicate with each
other.
(B) Height of cowardice ?
Ans. Two persons fighting through emails.
(C) Height of helplessness ?
Ans. Receiving no e-mails for a week.
(D) Height of frustration ?
Ans. The e-mail server being down.
(E) Height of carelessness ?
Ans. Writing a love mail and doing a
Send All..
(F) Height of timepass ?
Ans. A person sending e-mail to himself.
(G) Height of expectation ?
Ans. Sending Indian cricket team an email, wishing them to win a match.
(H) Height of repetition ?

Ans. Forwarding an e-mail to someone

and receiving the same e-mail forwarded
back to you by someone in the receiving
chain.
(I) Height of browsing ?
Ans. You are swimming in the water tank
and shout F1F1F1 instead of shouting
Help when you are unable to swim.
(J) What is height of fashion ?
Ans. Dhoti with a zip.
(K) What is height of secrecy ?
Ans. Offering black visiting cards.
(L) What is height of active laziness ?
Ans. Asking for a lift to house while on a
morning walk .
(M) What is height of craziness ?
Ans. Getting a black paper Xeroxed.
(N) What is height of forgetfulness ?
Ans. Seeing the mirror and trying to
recollect when you saw him / her last.
(O) What is height of stupidity ?
Ans. A man looking through a keyhole of
a glass door.

(P) What is height of Suicide ?

Ans. A dwarf jumping from the footpath
on the road.
(Q) What is height of de-hydration ?
Ans. A cow giving milk powder.
151 Mandir mein jap karta hoon. Masjid
mein aadab karta hoon.
Insan se kahin baghwan na ban jaun isliye
roz tujhe SMS kar ke pap karts hoon.
152 Phulon se koobsurat koi nahi. Sagar
se ghahra koi nahi. Aab apki kya tariff
karu Dost mein aap jaisa
..
Nalayak koi nahin.
153 What is a difference between a kiss,
a car and a monkey ?
Ans. A kiss is so dear, car is too dear but
monkey is you dear.
154 TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ke cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS karne me bade la8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,

KHER job hi ho mere fevr8 ho.

155 Based on Newtons first law : Law of
love. Love neither be created nor be
destroyed, only it can be changed from
one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
156 Deepak mein Jyoti
Jyoti mein Prakash
Pulkit hai dharti
Jagmagaye akash
Diyon ki katar
Kahe bar bar
Viraje mata Laxmi
Apke ghardwar.
Happy Diwali.
157 Kisiki yaad mein rona fizul hai
Ansu bade anmol hain inhen khona fizul
hai
Ro to unke liye jot um par kurban ho
Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazar ho.
158 Yeh sulagata jism, yeh kapmpate
hoonth, yeh thartharata hua badan, yeh
ladkharati aawaz, mujhe phele hi pata tha
yeh MALARIA hai.
159 Manzil ki taraf badte chalo jo dil kahe
usi rah ko chuno. Piche walon ko aage na

jane do aura age walon se aage niklo,

thabhi tum ache RICKSHE WALE ban
paoge.
160 Aaj se aap ke yahan dhan ki barsaat
ho. Ma laxmi ka vaas ho sankaton ka
nash ho. Har dil per aapka raj ho unnti ka
sar per taj ho. Ghar mein shanty ka vaas
ho. Happy Depawali.
161 Heartiest greetings and best wishes
for a happy bright and prosperous Diwali.
162 Vijay dhashwi ke shubh awsar per MA
DURGE apni dus bhujaon se aapko bal,
budhi, vidya, such, aishwarya, daulat,
abijeet, arogyata, sampanneta pradan
kare. Aisi kamna hai meri JAI MATA DI.
163 Mayawati came 2 Laloos house with
a goat..
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyon lai ho ?
Maya : Dikta nahi gotwa hai.
Lalu : Hum gotwa se hi to puch raha
hoon.
164 God picked up a flower and dipped im
a dew, he lovingly touched it, which
turned into u. N den he gifted it to me N
said Dis friend iz 4 u.

165 Ansu tere nikle to ankeh meri ho.

Dil tera dhadke to dhakkan meri ho.
Kudha kare ki dosti hamari itni gehri ho
Ki naukri tum karo aur pagar meri ho !
166 Kushi nahin to kya hua
Gam ke sahare ji lenge
Hamari girl friend nahin hai to kya hua
Hum aapki girl friend ke sahare jee lenge.
167 Kisiki yaad mein rona fizul hai
Aansu bade anmol hain inhen khona fizul
hai
Ro to unke liye jot um par kurban ho
Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazar hai.
168 Bin savaan barsat nahin hoti
Suraj doobe bina raat nahin hoti
A dost kisika dil nahin todna
Kyonki tootane ki aavaz nahin hoti.
169 Manz biography b4 marriage is like
Airtel aise azadi aur kahan
He marries thinking an Idea can change
his life
After dat itz Hutch where ever you go
network follows.
170 If you read this, I am smart

If you save this, you agree I am smart

If you forward this, you are spreading
that I am smart
If you delete this, you are jealous
because I am smart.
171 Bagwan sabse zyada khush kab hote
hain : jab kisi ladki ko gunde pakad rahan
hon aur ladki kahe MUJHE BAGWAN KE
LIYE CHORD DO.
172 Wife : Dekho na wo admi mujhe
ghoor ghoor ke dekh raha hai.
Husband : Are wo to kabadwala hai.
Bekar mal per nazar rakhna uski aadat
hai.
173 Sweet candies are nice to eat
Sweet words are easy to say
But, sweet people are hard to find
OH MY GOD ! how did you find me.
174 Kind, Intelligent, loving and hot .
This describes everything you are not.

175 Babuji ne kaha ghar chhod do.

Maa ne kaha Paro ko chhod do.
Par one kaha sharab chhod do.

Lekin tumse kaha message karma chhod

do.
176 I see your face when I am dreaming.
Thats why I always wake up screaming.
177 My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for may be go to hell.
178 Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.
179 When I open my eyes every morning I
pray to God that everyone should have a
friend like you.
Why should only I suffer.
180 When you feel sad..
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
damn I am really so cute you will
overcome your sadness. But dont make
this a habit..
Because liars go to hell.
181 What is wrong with your cell every
time I call a voice comes the subscriber
you have dialed is a monkey please
contact zoo for details.

182 Someday you may lose your hair. You

may loose your teeth your money and
even loose your mind. But 1 thing you
would never loose is your good looks.
Because you cant loose what you dont
have.
183 I just met someone in coffee bar,
really good looking daedly smart so
delightful more like a celebraity I walked
nearer..
Damn Saint Gobain Mirrors.
184 Aap bahot hi
Attractive,
Smart,
Decent,
Cute,
Fantastic,
Loveble,
Intelligent,
Ravishing smart,
aur
Talented person

Ka SMS padh rahe ho.

185 Isse pehle ki mobile network vyast

ho.
Dua hai ki aane wala saal aap ke liye
zabardast ho.
WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND
PROPEROUS NEW YEAR 2006.
186 Wish you a very happy new year.
187 A Bright, Prosperous and Happy New
Year. Let me wish you all the Joys,
Wealth, Fame and Glory.
188 A smile is a language everybody
understands. It costs nothing but creates
much. It happens fast but its memory
may last forever. Keep smiling.
189 Na chahat hai sitaroki
Na tamanna hai nazaroki
Aap jaisa dost mil jai to
Kya zaroorat hai hazaroki .
190 If you are a chocolate,
You are the sweetest.
If you are a mountain,
You are the highest.
If you are a star,

You are the brightest.

And
If you are my friend,
OH MY GOD !!!!!
You are the luckiest..
191 7 wonders of the World
Guess what .
7th
Me
6th
My style
5th
My smile
4th
My personality
3rd
My nature
2nd
My SMS

And
1st bhe hum
samjhe.
192 Satrangi sapno se saja Nav Varsh ka
savera ho,
Khushiya bhare angana me,
Sukh samardhi ka basera ho.
193 Whishing you and your niiiice family
a very very very Happy New Year
194 Santa goes to a phone booth to make
a call. Before dialing he slaps his face
twice. Why ? Because it was written on
the phone, dial karne se pehle 2 lagaye.
195 Talash karoge to koi mil jayega,
Hamari tarah dosti kaun nibhayga,
Dost ki nazar to aur bhi dekhte honge,
Par wo hamari nazar kahan se lagayega.
196 When I call you 1 ring
means I am thinking you.
2 ring means

I like you.
3 ring means
I am missing you.
4 ring means
I need you.
5 ring means
behre phoon utha.
197 Aap bahut hi smart, sweet, cute,
intelligent, charming, talented ladke ka
SMS padh rahe ho.
198 Dil mein ek shor ho raha hai,
Bina SMS dil bore ho raha hai,
Kahin aisa to nahin aapka dost,
Apko yaad karke ro raha hai.

199 1 Minute = 60 Seconds

1 Day = 24 Hours
1 Hour = 60 Minutes
But 1 Second without you =
1000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000

0000000000000000000000000000000000
000000 million year.
200 Fiza par asar hawon ka hota hai,
Mohobatt pe asar adaon ka hota hai,
Koi aise hi kisi ka diwana nahi hota,
Kuch kasoor nighahon ka bhi hota hai.
201 Arz hai Liala ki shaadi mein lafda ho
gaya.
Waa Waa
Laila ki shaadi mein lafda ho gaya.
Majnu itna nacha ki lungra ho gaya
Wah..Wah..Wah.
202 Akaash ke taron mein khoya hai.
Jahan sara lagta hai pyara ek taran.
In taron mein sabse pyara hai.
Ek sitara jo is waqt padh raha hai SMS
hamara.
203 Kitni ajeeb baat hai
Aadmi marne ke baad, bhoot ban jaata
hai,
Par
Aurat chudhel ki chudhel hi rehti hai!!!

204 In Sanskrit class, teacher asked a

student tumso maa jyotirgamay ka arth
batao ?
Student replied Maa, tum so jao main
jyoti ke ghar jar aha hoon.
205 Yaad rakh ke meri dosti ko tumne,
Meri zindagi ko ek ehsaan kar diya.
Is mobile mein yeh last rupiya tha,
Dekh maine who bhi TERE NAM kar diya.
206 A man goes to a hotel and eats
hartly. After eating he goes to wash his
hands but starts washing the basin
instead. The manager comes running and
asks him, aap kya kar rahe ho ? To this
the man replies, Oye!tumne hi to idhar
board lagaya hai [ Wash Basin ]
207 Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep
Well Play Well and also put your mobile
inside the same well because you are not
messaging me well.
208 How do you occupy an idiot ?
Press Down

Press Up.
209 A man falls in love with a nurse.
After much thinking, he finally writes a
love letter to her I Love You Sister.

210 Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,

gamm ke saagar mein is kadar kho gayi
hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,
tumhare SMS ki adapt si ho gayi hai.
211 You are a stupid! e.i. Smart Talented
Unique Person In Demand.
212 So sweet is your smile..
So sweet is your style..
So sweet is your voice..
So sweet is your eye..
See how sweetly I Lie..
213 Sincere apology :
If you dont like any of your SMS or dont
like to read or if my messages disturb
you, then please dont hesitate, feel free
to throw your mobile !!

214 Aim for the stars. But first, aim for

their body guards.
215 Boy : What will you give me as
reward if I climb Mt.Everest ?
Girl : A push.

216 Gita mein likha hai

Yahan nahi likha hai.

217 Let me draw your face
Dont move!
Nearly finished
Ok done

Draw a monkeys face

Hai main mar javan kitne sone ho tum.

218 Pesh hai pehli baar aap ke phone

mein nahati hui ladki

Aaj thand hai kal nahaegi

219Lokesh : Poor Nakul has lost his
hearing. What would he do now ?
Mukul : Dont you worry; he has been
shifted to the Complaints Department.
220 Ram : How long have you been
working here ?

Anand : Eve since the day the boss

threatened to fire me.
221 Silu : My husband forgets wedding
anniversaries. What about you ?
Suman : Oh, he too forgets. So, I remind
him of it in January and June and get two
presents a year.
222 Ram : I saw the doctor you told me to
see.
Prakash : Did you tell him I sent you ?
Ram : Yes I did !
Prakash : What did he say ?
Ram : He asked for his fees in advance.
223 Ae mere kadardan dost
Tu hai meri jaan
Tum hamesha raho hatte katte nuajavan.
Kyun ki khuda meherban to gadha
pahalwan.
224 aapki personality dekhker aapki
tasveer banayi hai

Hamare ghar ko nazar na lage is lia bahar

hi latkayi hai.
225 MMS = Murda Message Service
226 We call this inhuman technology
Mokia connecting dead people.
227 Khat likh raha hoon khoon se
Syahi mat samjana
Kisi mareez ka sample hai
Mera mat samajna.
228 What is the full form of MATHS ?
Ans. Mentaly Affected Teachers are
Harassing Students.
229 Bat mausam ki ho aur barsat na ho
bag mein bahar ho aur gulab na ho
Cricket ka match ho aur Sehwag na ho
Bewkufoon ki mehfil ho aur aap na hon.
230 Where are you ?
Ans. I am in the police station. Police
arrested me for possessing large amount
of intelligence. They are asking for a
brain less person to bell me. Can you
come ?

231 Kal mujhe aladin ka chirag mila

Maine jin se khaha
Is SMS ko padne wale ko insane bana
dena.
Jin bola main sirf icha puri karta hoon, koi
chamatkar nahi.
232 How does life relates to movies =
1 G.F. = koi Mil Gaya
2 G.F. = Koish
3 G.F. = Main aisa hi hoon
No G.F. = Lucky ! No time for love.
233 Bhai sahib ! Kya time hua hai ?
Ans. 6 baje hain.
Sala !!!!!!!!!!
Subha se pooch raha hoon, sab log alag
alag bata rahe hain.
234 How would you differentiate between
a murga and a murgi ?
Ans. Pather maro ! Ud gaya to murga aur
ud gayi to murgi.
235 Santa ke ghar mein Income Tax ki
rade padi ?
Income Tax walon ne poocha itna paisa
kahan se aaya ?
Ans. Santa bola sab upar wale kid an hai.

Income Tax wale upar bathe banta singh

ko pakad kar le gay.
236 After giving the exam, when banta
was asked that how was the paper ? He
said The paper was very good but I
could not write the past tense of THINK .
I thought and thought but I did notgot it
so I wrote THUNK .
237 Banta was below a tube light
standing with mouth open.
Why ?
Ans. Doctor advised pate mein dard hai,
aaj light hi khana.

238 Teacher : What is 4 + 5?

Student : 9
Teacher : What is 5 + 4?
Student : Dont fool me, you have just
twisted the question. Answer is 6.
239 Where can you find mangoes ?
Ans. Where woman goes there MANgoes.
240 Movies related to life :
Party = Main Hoon Na

Exams = Socha Na Tha

Clases = Khabhi Khabhi
Maths = Asambhav
Fail = Phir Milenge
241 When words are not enough to
express your feelings. Dont think you
are in love. You just need to attend
RAPIDEX English speaking coarse.
242 What is height of flirting ?
When your love letter starts with To
whom so ever it may concern.
243 Dil ke rishte bhi aajeeb hote hain
Door reh kar bhi kareeb hote hain
Jo log aapko roj dhekte hain
Wo log kitne badnaseeb hote hain.

244 Ramchandra kahe gaye siya se

aisa kalyug aayega
Dono taraf se honge sms
Per phone koi na milayega.
245 At midnight 1 sms
Yeh hamari Madhya ratri seva hai. Isme
ham logon ko tang karte hain.

Aap bhi is seva ka labh uthayen. Ab so

jayea GOOD NIGHT.
246 Aap ke liye railway mein job nikli hai.
Salary 75000 / Month. Job hai SHATABDI
ki light karab ho gayi hai, torch leke train
kea age aage bhagana hai.
247 Arz hai Subhah subhah pio pani
gunguna, Subhah subhah pio pani
gunguna, to bhaiya POT SEAT mein
milega umeed se dugna.
Good Morning.

248 3 din baad aap

Lal,

Peele,
Hare,
Kale,
Ho jaoge
Gabhrao nahi 4 din baad Holi hai
And remember I am the first person to
wish you
Happy Holi !

249 Funny Fundas :

Love Affairs :
Something like cricket where
one day internationals
are more popular than a five
day test
Tears :
The hydraulic force by which
masculine willpower is defeated
by feminine water power
Office :
A place where you can relax after
your strenuous hme life
Father :
A banker provided by nature
Boss :
Someone who is early when you are
late and late when you are
early
Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his
bills
250 Happy holi to you and your family.

251 Tesu ki khushboo,

Rango ki bahar,
Kanji ka rus,
Gujhia ka swad,
Man mein tarang,
Dilon mein pyaar,
Yehi hai holi ka pyaara tyohar.
Happy Holi.
252 Holi ke rango se aap bhig jaye,
Gujhia aur mithai khayia,
Meri subh kamnaye bhi lete jaiye.
253 Nele pele lal gulal
jevan mein laye nai bahar
Rango ka yeh tyohar
Aai jevan mein bar bar.
254 Lal gulabi rang hain
Jum raha sansar
Suraj ki kiran
Khushiyan ki bahar
Chand ki chandni
Apno ka pyaar
Subh ho aapka

yeh rangon ka tyohar

255 Pichkariyon ki faur

Gubaron ka dhamal
Rango ka sringar
Gulalo ki bahar
Aapno ka sath
Jeewan mein ullas aur Bhang ka glass
Aapki holi ho 1st class.
256 Isse pahele ki sanwat ka antim
suryast ho
Isse pehle ki is SANWAT ka PANCHANG
nasht ho
Isse pehle ki aap RANGON ki dhoom main
mast ho
Aur
Isse pehle ki mobile network vyast ho
Dua hai ki aane wala SANWAT aapke liye
zabardast ho
HAPPY HOLI
257 Phoolon ne amrit ka jam bheja hai,
Rango ne prem ka salam bhejha hai,
Har khushia mubarak ho apko,

Hamne yeh paigam bhejha hai.

258 <(.. .)>

//
./L
Yeh hai basanti,
Ab yeh aapke mobile per nachegi.

Sorry !! Apun bhul gaya tha ki Basanti

kutton ke samne nahi nachti.

259 You look sweet when you read my

message
You look sweeter when you read my
message and smile
You look sweetest when you read my
message, smile and reply
So, try to look sweetest.
260 Namaskar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS
seva hai, isme hum logon ko waqt bewaqt
tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh uthane
ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam
kariye.

261 Dil se tera kyaal na jaye to kya karun,

Tu hi bata tu yaad aaye to kya karun,
Hasrat yeh hai ek nazar tujhe dekh lun,
Per madari tujhe roj na laye to kya karun.
262 Send your cv urgent Its a nice
package and a chance to come on TV
Because HUTCH ka DOGGIE kho gaya hai
They want a new one.
263 Welcome to www.youngluv.com

type password *****

New Member?
You are welcome
Processing.
Denied
Sorry, you are too old.
Try www.aunty/uncle.com
264 If I go wrong, I need your hand to
correct me
If I win, I need your hand to pat me
If I am lost, I need your hand to guide me
Short me bole to =
Ye haath hamko de de thakur.
265 A man went to museum, there he
broke a statue.
Officer : You have broken a 5000 years old
statue.
Man : Thank God ! Mere ko laga naya tha.
266 Life is difficult, full of trials, pain,
sorrow but if you fall down, just stand up
strait, be confident and say..
Kisne dhakka maara be.
267 Aap bahut hi
Smart,
Sweet,
Cute,

Intelligent,
Charming,
Talented,
Ladke ka SMS padh rahe ho.
268 Ye Bandar kaise SMS padh raha hai.
Ye Bandar ab hasega aur ye SMS forward
karega aur phone rakh de ga.
Ye Bandar ab bhi SMS padh raha hai.
Besharam phone rakh.
269 Main nahin chahta ki sukhey ve
zakhm.
Jo tumne mujhe diya kyunki =
Kuch cheesay hamesha haribhari hi achi
lagti hain.
270 Poty karne ke bad ka gana Juda ho
kar bhi tu mujhme kahin baki hai only
for toilet singers.
271 Hey, I have got a very secret message
for you. Dont let it someone see. Type
this number in T9 mode
96804283023266302774503665.
272 Hawa ka jhoka aaya,
Khushbu teri saath laya,
Phir yehi kyaal aaya,
Aaj bhi mera dost nahi nahaya.

273 10 things
I know about you.
1. You are a special person with a
wonderful heart.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Bus, Baki kal.
1 din mein 1 hi joke.

274 Aaj maine mandir mein ek ladki ko

cigerate pite hua dekha mujhe itna bura
laga you wont believe mere haath se
daru ka glass chooth gaya.

275 Mukesh said to Anil Ambani I want

to kiss your wife
Anil replied, Ok but 40paise/minute
Tina shouted dont cheat him, Reliance to
Reliance is free.
276 Baap = Ghar ka sara saman chupa kar
rakh d. Mere char dost aa rahe hain.
Beta = Aapke dost chor hain kya? Saaman
chura lenge?
Baap = Nahin pehchan lenge.
277 Teri aanko mein ye jo nami si chahi
hai, Vo mere dur hoone ki gavahi hai.
Yaad itna na kiya kar mujhe, hichki le le
kar meri jaan pe ban aayi hai.
278 Sirf
SirfSirfSirf
SirfSirfSirfSirfSirf
Sirf
SirfSirfSirfSirf
SirfSirfSirfSirfSirf

SirfSirfSirfSirfSirf
Disturb karma that.
279 Jab tum haste ho to lagta hai ki
insaan pehele Bandar tha. Dekho gussa
mat hona kyun ki jab tum gussa hote ho
to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi Bandar hai.

280 Try this : Hold a basket of grapes in your hands.

Stand in front of the mirror.
What will you see ?
Langoor ke hath main Angoor
281 New punishment for mobile users =
Missed call ke liye Kala Pani.
SMS ke liye Fansi.
Call ke liye Umar Kaid.
Lekin tum mat daro =

Kanjusoo ko to 1 lakh milega.

282 $%^&*$#@!(*)#@%$&!$~*@^@ Lost
all my hair. Waiting for your reply.
283 Think Big,
Think Samrt,
Think Great,
Think Ultimate.
If that is too much for you
Here is a shortcut just think of me.

284 To know the relation between you

and me just keep your phone in T9 mode
and type this number =
9680273084307
9338378037436
3026302378037
436306306463
285 You are the greatest man of the
world. My life lies beneath you. In your
each step lives my breath.
Dont worry this SMS was sent to me so I
just wanted you to read it.

286
KitnaAchachaLagtaHaiJabKoiBinaSpaceDiy
eSMSJKartaHai
Aur kitna achacha lagta hai jab koi
bewkoof use dhyan laga ker karta hai.
287 Bush : Hamare paas Madona hai,
Britney hai, Julia Roberts hai, Cameroon
Diaz hai. Tumahre paas kya hai ?
Manmohan Singh : Hamare paas Imran
Hashmi hai.
288 To know one more quality about you,
type this number in T9 mode.
9680273084304
7328378036650
6308430967531
0430430430416
0737468708447
084631
289 You are =
A = Attractive
B = Best
C = Cute
D = Dashing
E = Excellent
F = Funny

G = Good luking
H = He, He, He,
I = I am
J = Joking
290 Hathi ne chuhiya ko chedd diya,
chihiya ne hathni ko shikayat karke kaha
ki apne pati ko samjha lo verna mard
hamare ghar mein bhi hain.
291 Navratron ke utsav per Maa Vaishano
apki manokamna puri kare
Maa Naina devi apke naino ko Tez pradan
kare
Maa chintpurini aapki chinta door kare
Maa kali apke dushmano ka nash kare
Mansa devi apki mansa puri kare
Maa sheravali aapke parivar ko sukh
shanty de
Maa jawala ji apke jeevan mein roshani
pradan kare
Maa Laxmi apko dhan se malamal kare.
292 Aanko mein rahene walon ko yaad
nahi karte,
Dil mein rahene walon ki baat nahin
karte,
Hamari to ruh mein bus gaye hain aap,
Tabhi to hum milne ki fariyad nahin karte.

293 Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr In

it, female has male in it, madam has
adam in it, so girls are always incomplete
without boys.
294 tum haste raho, haste raho, haste
raho, muskurate raho, sada khilkhilate
raho, Kush raho, Mera kya hai ?
Log Tumhe hi pagal kahenge. Ha ! Ha !
Ha !
295 Teacher : Four beautiful girls are
walking on the road. Change it into
exclamatory sentence.
Student : Wow !
296 I want you to be with me in a nice
restorent to have Candle Light Dinner and
say those three sweet words to you.
Pay The Bill.
297 Your smile can be compared to a
flower, Your voice can be compared to a
cuckoo, your innocence to a child, but in
stupidity you have no comparison you are
the best.

298 This is not fair! How could you do

this? Didnt expect this from you! Got a
whole channel on your name and you
didnt even tell me?
Animal Planet.

299 I have written a poem for you :=

Twinkle twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.
300 In a racing club, the horses have
gone for a strike. Management decided
to run donkeys instead of horses, so stop
reading the sms and report on duty.
301 Ladka : Tute hue dil se pyaar karogi,
ya dil tutne tak pyaar karogi.
Ladki : Tuti hui chhapal se mar kayega, ya
chhapal tutne tak mar kayega.

302 Do you know what does the computer

think of you when you sit In front of it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
INTEL Inside..
IDIOT Outside.

303 Girls are like internet domain

names..
the ones I like are already taken.
304 Kya hai naye zamane ki technology
Purana time tha jab message kabutar se
bheja jata tha
Naye zamane mein kabutaron ko message
bheja jata hai.
305 Why boys go to temple ?
To know the feeling of pooja, shradha,
aarti, aaradhana, bhavana and finally
tripti.

306 Dimag ho to jara soch ke batao ki

tumhare bhai ki bhateiji ki chachi ki sas
ke bhai ki biwi ki sas ke pati ka jamai ke
pote ki maa ki nanad ka bhai kaun hoga.
307 Arj kiya hai
Madmast havaiyei hai, Mausam bhi
suhanna hai
Bandar SMS padh raha hai, kya educated
zamana hai.
308 Aye sala
abhi abhi hua yakin
Padhai mere bas ki nahi
Kitabo ko main nigal gaya
Padte padte pighal gaya
Hui subhah main kho gaya
Paper mein so gaya
Rubaru roshni hai.
309 True bravery is to arrive home late
night and mom waiting with a jhadu and
you ask =
Hai mom, abhi tak safai kar rahi ho.
310 Bikhari : Saheb 1 rupya de do.
Saheb : Kal aana.
Bhikari : Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein
is colony mein mere lankon rupye fanse
hua hain.

311
7-,7-33l-7- ,-3. 7,7-3. !
l 7l_7/ 3l_/ 7!_7_
Press EDIT and remove all the 7 and 3 to
understand this sms. Its specially for
you.
312 Dekha mere sms ka kamal?
Ganti baji, Bandar ne cell uthaya, ab
Bandar sms padh raha hai, ab apna sar
khaujla kar sochega ki ye sms kisko
behju.
313 Wo madhosh aankhe
Wo garam sanse
Wo kapkapata jism
Wo thar thar aate honth
Main ne to phele hi kaha tha Birdflu hai
Chcken mat kana.
314 Ba dab ba
Mulahiza hoshiyar,
Pagalon ke maharaja
Hindustani bewcufoon ke shashzade
Noore chashm Shan E Pagalistan
SMS padh kar kush ho rahe hain.

315 Chand taron ke noor tum par barse,

Har koi teri teri chahat ko tarse,
Teri zindagi mein aaye,
Itni kushi kit u ek gam pane ko tarse.
316 Lohe ko loha kat sakta hai,
Sone ko sona kat sakta hai,
Jahar ko jahar kat sakta hai,
Tum please apna kyaal rakhna,
Tum ko kutta kat sakta hai.
317 Ek hati chiti ke pyaar mein pagal ho
jata hai,
Chiti ke ghar walon ko yeh rishta manjoor
nahi.
Wo kahete hain ki ladke ke danth bahar
hain.

318 Bhagwan apko kush rakhe,

Apki umar lambi ho,
368 When you were born the heaven
rejoiced, angels celebrated and God
smiled. Aur hamne unko kahete suna
Chalo chutkara mila .
369 Kal ek sapna dekha ki swarg ke ek
bade se hall mein bhagwan ne hum sabko
apne paap likhkar dene ko kaha, maine
likhna shuru hi kiya tha kit um chillaye
Extra Sheet Please.
370 Tawe par pada Popcorn uchalta kyon
hai?

Khud baith ke dekho pata chal jayega.

371 Train mein ek machar ek Chinese ke

sir per baitha, wo usko pakad ke kha
gaya. Fhir ek machar ek businessman pe
baitha, usne use pakad ke Chinese se
pucha khareedoge kya?
372 A Wife watched her husband
searching high and low, all over the living
room. She asked him : What are you so
frantically searching?
Husband : Hidden cameras.
Wife : And what makes you think there
are hidden cameras here?
Husband : Or else, every few minutes,
how is that guy on television saying You
are watching the channel How can he
know what I am watching?
373 Koi pathar se na mare mere diwane
ko,
Abe RDX ka zamana hai, bomb se udaa do
sale ko.
374 If you notice this notice you will
notice that this notice is not worth
noticing.
375
1 Smoking

2 Drinking
3 Charas
4 Ganja
5 Chicken
6 Mutton
7 Masala
8 Oily food
9 Sleep
10 Pollution.
Heart Attack. Dus bahane kar ke le gaya
Dil.
376 5 great people :
1 Charlie Chaplin, wo to ab rahe
nahi.

2 Wasim Akram, wo kisi kam ka

nahi.

3 Aishwarya Rai, apni pahunch

say bahir.
Baki rahe aap aur hum so keep in
touch.
377 Girls Excuses : Phone mat karo dear
mom hoti hai near,
Papa se lagta hai fear,
Baat bhi hoti hai nahi clear,
Isiliye SMS karo dear without fear.

378 You are very sentimental

1 % Senti and
99 % Mental.
379 Our relation is like 2 hands of the
clock. They meet together for a while and
ret time stay away form each other but
always stay connected.
380 Mujhe dard e ishq ka maza malum
hai,
Dard e dil ki intaha malum hai,
Zindagi bhar muskurane ki dua na dena,
Mujhe pal bhar muskurane ki saza malum
hai.
381 Tapti garmiyon ki loo hai tu,
Dosti ken am pe thu hai tu,
Aai mere dost tujhe aur kya kahun,
Dhule hue bhaloo pe chipka hua zuan hai
tu.

382 Ehsaas pasine se hai num,

Sholo se jhalakti hai shabhnam,
Zara,
Jal jal ke dhua teri yaad mein ho rahe
hum,
Jismo ki dabi arzoo mein jal jal ke dhua ho
rahe.

383 Bhagwan : Mobile nirjiv hai. Simi ski

aatma hai. SMS wo gyaan hai jo batne se
badti hai. Atah he prani Balance ki moh
maya tyaag kar nirantar SMS kar.
384 Beshak kuch waqt ka intzaar mila
humko,
Par kudha se badh kar yaar mila humko,
Na rahi tamanna kisi jannat ki,
E yaar teri yari se wo pyaar mila humko.
385 Kaash dil ki yeh murad poori ho jaye,
Aap missed call karen aur wo receive ho
jaye,
Hum karen bate ganton aur maza tab
aaye,
Jab aapka balance zero ho jaye.

386 Dosti means Priyagold Hak se

mango,
Love means Pepsi Yeh dil mange more,
and
Girl Friend means Gadhi Detergent Pehle
stemal karo phir vishwas karo.
387 Palkon ke kinare jo hamne bhigoye
nahi.
Wo sochte hain ki hum roe nahi.
Wo puchte hain ki kwahab mein kise
dekhte ho aur hum hain ki barson se soe
nahi.
388 Vade pew wo aitbaar nahi karte,
Hum zikre mohabat sarebazar nahi karte,
Darta hai dil unki ruswaie se,
Aur wo sochte hain hum unse pyaar nahi
karte.

389 Arey arey meri yaad mein itna bhi

mat robecause abhi abhi khabar aayi hai
ki Ganga nadi ka level 3 cm badh gaya
hai.Swimming aati hai na? Dub na jana.
390 I think you are very careless! You
come and leave things behind! See now

what you have left! You just came in my

mind and left behind a SMILE on my face.
391 Each day with some one new,
I look and never find another you.
The World is full of people,
I know its true.
Yet no one could ever equal the friend I
found in you.
392 Har fool ki azab kahani hai,
Chup rahena pyaar ki nishaani hai,
Kahin koi zakhm nahi fhir bhi dard ka
ehsaas hai,
Shayad isi ka naam zindagani hai.
393 Santa Singh ne Banta Singh ko chess
khelne ke liye bulaya to Banta Singh bola
ek minute main jara apne sports shoes
pahan kar aa raha hoon.

394 Yeh hai Shiv ji ki photo

Dikhi ! Nahin Dikhi ! Papiyon ko nahin

dikhti.
395 At least once in a day each person in
this world stands in one leg. Guess
when ??
Ans. While wearing chadhhi.
396 Lady My husband passed away ten
days after our marriage.
Land Lord Lucky man indeed! Did not
live long to suffer.
397 Message na karke dil toda,
Ab mobile dafna dena,
Kafan na mile to apna rumal odh dena,
Koi puche rog kyat tha,
Najaren jukake apni kanjoosi bata dena.

398 Rishton ki ehmiyat batate hain

faasale,
Par thoda tadapte bhi hain faasale,
Dilon mein ho na duri dua karma,
Chahen yoon rahe milon ke faasale.

399 What is the difference between a

good lawyer and a great lawyer ??
Ans. A good lawyer knows the law and a
great lawyer knows the judge.
400 Extreme limit of stupidity : 2 sardars sitting on a rickshaw and
fighting for the corner seat.
401 Sri Krishana ne Gita mein kaha hai ki
kalyug mein ek karmyogi dost hoga jo
sms karta rahega aur dusra papi sirf
padke hasega.Hass papi hass !!
402 Bumper offer! Mujhe sms pe sms karo
aur aap jeet sakte hain 10 lakh ki car ki
photo, flat tv ka box aur Malaysia jane
wali plane ko bye karne ka mauka.
403 My mobile Is not feeling well,

Dr.Nokia said it is due to shortage in

vitamin names SMS .
Please help my mobile before it dies.
404 Aansu ko palkon pe laya na karo,
Yeh baat hare ek ko bataya na karo,
Log mutthi mein namak liye firte hain,
Hare k ko apne zakm dikhaya na karo.

405 Hal e dil kuch is tareh hamari hai,

Yaad tumhe din mein 100 baar kiya karti
hai,
Jo na aaye khabhi sms tumhara,
Purane sms hi padh liya karte hain.
406 Husband : Today is Sunday and I have
to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife : Why three?
Husband : For you and you parents.
407 Human brain is the most out standing
thing. It works 24 hours a day and seven

days a week and it only stops when we

enter the exam hall.
408 Question : Why doesnt the India law
permit a man to marry a second woman?
Answer : Because as per law you cannot
be punished twice for the same offence.
409 A mother makes her son intelligent in
20 years, but a girl can make him stupid
in 2 minutes.

410 I want to share everything with you :

Your Joys,
Your Happiness,
Your Happy Moments,
Every single second of day,
Lets start with your ATM Password.

411 Girl : I think the poorest people are

the happiest.
Boy : Then marry me and we will the
happiest couple.
412 Kash kushiyon ki ek dukaan hoti,
Hamen bhi uski koi pahchan hoti,
Bhar deti teri jholi ko kushiton se,
Keemat chahen meri jaan hoti.
413 Kya tumhe mera SMS mila? Agar
nahin mila to yeh lo
SMS SMS SMS SMS
Yeh lo chotte SMS sms sms sms sms
Yeh lo remix SMS SmS sMs SMs sMS sMs

414Testing your blood !

Please Wait.
33 %

66%
100 % Complete.
Result : HIV+
Honey In Veins.
415 Teacher : What is the full form of
Maths?
Student : Mently Affected Teachers
Harrasing Students.
416 A recent research has proved that all
fololish idiot and lazy people use their
thumb to read messages. Dont replace
the finger its too late now.
417 Its funny when people discuss Love
Marriage Vs. Arranged Marriage.
Its like asking someone, if suicide is
better or being murdered.
418 Birds love you,
Giraffe love you,
Goat love you,
Elephant love you,
Go to Zoo,
They all miss you.
419