Nelson,

Im glad that we got to talk over the week about your experience and plans
with Oratory. I know we touched upon some of the issue that you were
facing, but I wanted to go more into detail about them. I think there are some
fundamental Oratory things that need to happen before I can make smaller
critiques throughout the speech. The biggest issues I think needs to be
addressed are
1. Narrowing down the key message of your Oratory.
2. Implementing some sort of form to the Oratory so that your listener
can follow the logical flow of your arguments
3. More variety and stronger sources with your evidence
In terms of topic I really the idea of talking about how were NOT talking
about important topics and problems keep perpetuating.
Overall, the skeleton of your Oratory needs to look like this:
INTRO

Attention-Getting Device (AGD)

Link to Topic: After you stated your story then you need to
connect to how it relates to your topic
Thesis: The problem with society is BLAH
Statement of Signicance: Why is this topic important? Why should
we care? Whats a startling fact that proves the danger that this
problem is causing?
Roadmap ( Today were gonna look at how blah blah blah)
^This should be no longer that 1.5 min
TRANSITIONAL SENTENCE
CAUSES
Internal transitional sentence that PREVIEW what Cause 1 and Cause 2
are.
Cause 1
Cause 2
Conclude point

TRANSITIONAL SENTENCE
EFFECTS
Internal transitional sentence that PREVIEW what EFFECT 1 and
EFFECT 2 are.
EFFECT 1
EFFECT 2
Conclude point
TRANSITIONAL SENTENCE
SOLUTIONS
Internal transitional sentence that PREVIEW what Solution 1 and
Solution 2 are.
Solution 1
Solution 2
Conclude point
TRANSITIONAL SENTENCE
Transition
Review main boy points
Conclusive Statements

In terms of sources, you have some great quotes about racism and the
significance of Black Lives Matter that are good but they need to be used in a
persuasive manner. They need to have a context instead of just giving the
audience a generalized depiction of how racism is still existing.
For example if the hardest thing about reforming politics is that its hard to
convince political leaders that its just a politically correct issue ---you
need to tell me why thats important. Whats the bigger problem. Why isnt
the fact that something that is technically not politically correct not also
significance? Why would we brush something like that under the rug?
With regards to Black Lives Matterif this is going to be in your solutions
section you need to convince me that the SOLUTION is that we need to
RECOGNIZE the problem and by doing that prove to me that we cant dismiss
Black Lives Matter and only take it as a social media movement.
This is the kind of implementation and purpose that all of your evidence
needs to have throughout the speech.
With regards to getting more evidence, there are many ways to collect
evidence for Oratory and would suggest things like:

Magazine articles
Newspaper articles
Books
Celebrity comments
Personal stories
Scholarly journals
Surveys
Studies
Case studies
^ You know the drill.
You should have at least 2 sources for every single section of your speech ( a
minimum of at least 6- 8 sources for speech as a whole.
Good luck! And let me know if you have any questions
-Anh