Nowadays, our lives are determined by what others think about of us.

The main reason

for this, it is the increasing importance of fashion industries during the last years.
Firstly, the way we show ourselves in public makes people imagine the personality we
have. Thats why we choose clothes depending on the latest fashion patterns. Secondly,
the price of clothes has been increased in order to enrich big companies. Consequently,
there are a lot of items in the market that the middle class cant afford. Besides, this has
led to the well-known sales period when people spend a lot of money in on clothes,
even if they dont need them.
Another idea is referring Another important point is to the influence of our surroundings
social circle. That is, we have the necessity to be part of a group, so we behave
according to our friends. If you wore any piece of clothing different from what is usual,
you would feel everybody looking at you in the street.
To sum up, in my view, the fashion industry has the power to control peoples lives.
Whatever they set as a trend, that would people wear to be pleased with the society ???
= Designers would wear whatever they set as a trend so that society get interested in
those trends
ASPECTOS POSITIVOS

Tienes bastantes cosas positivas, todas las que estn en azul. La estructura del
writing, separado en prrafos y usando los conectores.

Passive

2nd Conditional

According to

In order to

Different from

Present perfect

Depending on

Good vocabulary = cant afford, has led to, well-known, set as a trend, enrich.

Los errores que tienes no son muy graves. Estdiatelos para no volveros a
cometer y mejorar en futuros writings y de cara al examen.

ASPECTOS A MEJORAR
1. Vamos a analizar la siguiente oracin: The main reason for this, it is the
increasing importance = aqu tienes el sujeto (the main reason for this) y otro

sujeto (it) + verbo (is). Recuerda que la estructura de la oracin en ingls es: S +
V + C = no debemos repetir el sujeto, que en este caso es the main reason, por
tanto, eliminamos it. Y otra cosa, entre sujeto y verbo, nunca se pone coma.
2. En los ltimos aos = during the last years o in the last years = necesitamos el
artculo the.
3. No entiendo el conector que has utilizado, thats why, que significa por eso.
4. Spend money + on sth (no in), igual que waste money + on sth, pero invest
money + in.
5. La manera de introducir una nueva idea de Another idea is referring no la veo
apropiada. Puedes usar: Another important point is the influence of, por
ejemplo.
6. Surroundings = es ms alrededdores de un lugar fsico. Aqu te refieres al mbito
social y cultural en el que te mueves, por eso te pongo social circle, que
expresa esa idea, a los amigos y conocidos que tienes.
7. No entiendo la ltima frase del writing. A pesar de que te sealo el principio
como positivo, porque me gusta el whatever, y el vocabulary set as a tren, no
entiendo la relacin de la primera parte con la segunda. Te he dado una opcin
para cambiar la oracin.
8. Las instrucciones de la tarea te hacen una pregunta: Some people say the

fashion industry has a bad effect on peoples lives. Do you agree? = Yo

respondera esta pregunta al principio, diciendo que s ests de acuerdo (eso es lo
que manifiestas con tus argumentos y en el ltimo prrafo del writing), pero
debes expresarlo en el primer prrafo y as queda claro, porque yo segn voy
leyendo asumo que ests de acuerdo, pero no lo has expresado as.