FREE

HOME
IS
WHERE
THE
HATE
IS
 WE COULDN’T FIND ANY DECENT PARTIES, SO WE MADE OUR OWN
WE COULDN’T FIND ANY DECENT SHORT FILMS, SO WE MADE OUR OWN
WE COULDN’T FIND ANY DECENT FREE MAGAZINES, SO WE MADE OUR OWN

FUCK YOU BRUSSELS!

 BRUSSELIZATION
5

METHADRONE
7

GRANNYS’ ON GIRLS
9

THE LUMBERJACK PARADOX

15

BOYS WHO DO GIRLS

17

AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR

25

WHAT WHORES ARE LISTENING TO?

31

BAD INC.
33

WAFFLES & WARHOL

35

PLUS MUCH, MUCH MORE...

OH SIT DOWN
During the “Granny’s on girls” shoot, we
were discussing the Grand Place as a pos-
sible location for a shoot. We were told
by O-D that it’s illegal to publish photos
of the Grand Place without government
permission. Not only that, apparently it’s
also against Belgian law to lie down any-
where within the square.

Red rag to a bull!

Next week we want to invite as many

readers as possible to a flash-mob-lie-
down (think James gigs or the Hacienda
circa 1988’) on the Grand Place. We will
be taking a photo at 3.30pm Saturday
May 22nd, and publish it in the next is-
sue. We’re bringing a whole bunch of free
beers to entice you! Bring your friends,
family, pets – just as long as they can lie
down.

3
Shirt / Cape: R & V SPRL Vintage
Hat / Broches: Stylists own
Skirt: Granny Vercruysse
BRUSSELIZATION - HOME ACTUALLY IS WHERE THE HATE IS!

If you absolutely have to, the best time to move to

Brussels is spring. That’s when the sun starts to come
out, you can put your sofa on the street, drink beer,
and make up for the winter vitamin d deficiency.

But anyone having recently settled in the so-called

“European capital” will have easily noticed that along
with the sun also comes the gratuitous violence and
occasional deaths. Good news for hooligans & funeral
photographers.

Yet, you needn‘t be Jessica Fletcher to know that 2010

has already been particularly fucked up. Stories in-
volve rock stars being mugged for their guitars, jewel-
lers being killed or better still, killing their assailants.
Where do respectable jewellers get guns anyway? Is
the Republic of Congo really reversing the blood dia-
mond/gun exchange?
Bulgarian trainspotter- “помощ”
Other examples have affected randoms that sim-
Gang 1 - “Boom! wat up dawg, you is a trainspotter
ply found themselves in the wrong place (anywhere
yeah?
posh or poor, central or far out), at the wrong time
Bulgarian trainspotter – помощ! Подкрепа!”
(anything between morning rush hour and hazy
Gang 2 “aaaiigh, we is gonna put you in da tracks
night).
den, yeah?”
The most sideways of these examples climaxed in
Apparently that’s the way that they roll in South
March when the Politie had the ingenious idea to You-
Central Brussels.
tube an attack captured by Metro CCTV. Some Bulga-
rian apprentice trainspotter, who was diligently do-
So what has Brussels done - or rather what has it
cumenting his end-of-decade experience, saw in this
not done - to deserve this? Many blame lousy soci-
new year, face fucking the tracks at Porte de Namur.
al policies combined with chaotic urban planning -
Brusselization is an industry term in architecture,
to describe a city which is basically a shithole (look
it up on wikipedia). Could it also be that, on one
hand, Eurocrats exude money, whilst on the other,
over 20% of the workforce are sitting on their ar-
ses “looking for a job”?

For my two eurocents: Blame crap French hip-hop!

To be fair, it‘s not as bad as it sounds. It‘s more

likely that Brussels is too small. So small infact,
that George Berkeley’s tree falling philosophy was
discredited back in 1711. Rumours travel fast. Sna-
ke Plissken, rest easy in your cell tonight.

So as rumours get bigger, fatter and uglier (the la-

FUB Editorial Department; working on this very article
(from left; Cris, Moe, Wincy, Ducky McFuzz, , Danny)
Of course the night had started on a lighter note: a
broken nose and cracked ribs. Served swiftly and ef-
ficiently by gang no. 1, before gang no. 2 saw the shab-
by workmanship and decided to finish the job.
5
test I saw was that the Bulgarian guy lost an ear
in the attack and I heard that one gang member
blinded him), and as European politicians’ very
position emasculates them when it comes to their
local and immediate concerns (such as their kids’
security), surely the only thing left to do is to enjoy
what Brussels is all about: cheap sex, good beers,
low rent, and an absent smoking ban.
V-D

We all know that
drugs alter your
sense of reality. But
fuck me, look at the
time on the watch
New wonder drug... but are the kids alright?
Methadrone? What the hell is up with the name? Try
telling someone who’s never taken or heard of it, and
they’ll take you for a wacko junky recently released
from The Priory.
Let’s get things straight; there are no spelling mis-
takes here. It is meth-a-drone, or drone of you‘re
down with the kids!!
Methadrone is a relatively new invention, and of
course if something is new, then you can count on
the dumb ass British to be the first to stick it up their
nose to see if it gets you high! Drug deaths, bad wea-
ther, and the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Euro-
pe, are subjects of national pride now that the UK is
economically and politically fucked.
Because of this British tradition it was natural for us
to import some of this legal crystal powder, from a
(then) reputable chemist from London.
Time for the taste challenge. 1 gram of Drone, 4 glas-
ses (it totally fucks your nose if you try to snort… not
recommended) 4 subjects, 12 hours, 2 sofas. 6 packs
of Marlboro, 25 beer can ashtrays, and one empty
bottle of Smirnoff.
In my already semi-conscious drunken stupor, I
thought it best to double dose, much to my boyfriends
dispair. I always steal his drugs! But that‘s what boy-
friends are for... right?
Let the games begin!
7 state to go to buy cigarettes.
M
E
T
H
A
D
R
O
N
E
I thought I was part of the conversation for at least an
hour, but then realised that in fact I was on the verge of
an orgasm. Then silence. A warm, smiley feeling, as if my
blood was flowing over rather than through me. Waves of
happiness over every particle of my body. Fully conscious,
for enough time to reassure my friends that I wasn’t gon-
na die on them, then back into my chemically-induced pa-
radise. My entire vocabulary for two hours consisted of
“oh my god”, “beautiful”, and “this is great”. I was like an
E cliché. But trust me, there is none of the head fuck that
you get with pills or MDMA.
Now, I’m not big on drugs, and I fucking hate pills because
they are always packed with straw & rat shit! However
my grandmother used to import heroin in the 50’s as an
airhostess. (Suck on that Pam Grier!)
It’s in my genes, so I think i‘m qualified.
Is there a reason to worry? Well, let’s put it this way, if
your usually VERY down-to-earth flatmate starts going
bonkers on you and comes back
down wearing your golden leg-
gings, a life jacket with a blanket
over his head and is going all my-
stically philosophical …
“Hey guys… GUYS!...If I die, it’s
gonna be okay.”
Then you may want to start ques-
tioning how perfect it really is.
In fact, before your questioning,
you really need to stop the flat
mate leaving the house in that
You’ve heard there is no low with Drone? The truth is FUCKING FACEBOOK ADDICT?
nobody actually knows what is going on. No studies or Then join the FUCK YOU BRUSSELS group
surveys or any credible scientific work has had time and stay in the loop for stuff we’re doing.
to emerge. Yet, they have already banned it in Eng-
land, which is a bit of a nightmare because we were
going to buy a kilo.
Apparently a couple of kids mixed methadrone, me-
thadone, alcohol & cocaine then died. GOOD! A few
less idiots in the world. There’s always one who spoils
the fun for everyone else. But don’t worry too much,
Belgium is at least 3 years behind the rest of Europe
in everything else, so don’t expect a drone ban to be
the exception.
Do stay aware though, when “miaw miaw” (yeah no
exception with this one, it also has about ten stupid
nicknames) does become illegal, it will probably be
cut up with loads of other shit. Its purist form will be
kept as long as no law will be applied to it. So enjoy it
while you still can kids. Then again, if all that comes out of it is a weird ob-
The worst thing about this drug is that the kids can’t session with the “let’s get physical” song, the unusu-
just go Google it like any other drug - the only way is al need for hugs and an acute awareness of the hu-
to go through the experience themselves. What they man interaction around you even after you’re done
will find are forums with bored teenagers talking with the drug, can it truly be that bad? In any case,
about how great it is and wondering where they can if you’re wondering if there is such a thing as a “first
get more. Hint - type “plant fertilizer” in your brow- methadrone hit grin”. Then yes! Looks silly, feels
ser … you may be surprised. great.
D-M

This article was written prior to recent methadrone ban in Belgium!

 Vercruysse
Shirt: Granny Pepe
a Francesca
Leggings: Mari
: Street Teaser
Vintage glasses h oe s: Stylists ow
n
k la c e / S
Pearl Nec
Grannys‘ on girls
Photography: O-D
Styling: O-M/L-V-H
Hair & make-up: O-M
Art direction: D-B
Model:: M-V
11
 by Escada
Vintage Jacket
els own
Leggings: Mod
: Street Teaser
Vintage glases
st
Neck tie: Styli

Shirt: Granny Vercruysse

Vintage Mens Workpants: Rosebowl
Vintage glasses: Street Teaser
Armband / Shoes: Stylists own

Cafe LE COQ, Rue Auguste Orts 14 - 1000 Bruxelles

Time to bury the trauma, caused by your mother/
grandmother choosing your clothes from ages 0- 10,
whilst you’re desperately trying to fit in with the
“cool” kids.
Why is it that parents get a twisted satisfaction from
mix/matching red with pink and packing their kids
off to school looking like the bastard abortion of Ro-
nald Macdonald & Tinky Winky?
Revenge is a dish best served cold! Dead cold!
Go through the heritage from your grandparents, or
subtly plan how to get the most beautiful pieces once
they‘re dead. It sounds gruesome, but we‘re talking
about making the world a well-dressed, more beauti-
ful place. Shallowism for all mankind!
Not that we believe in any of that climate change non-
sense, but if you’re a soap-dodging, tree-humping,
skanky hippy, grannys-hand-me-downs save the
earth too.
Rummage around in boxes of jewellery and dig out tho-
se shiny patent leather bags. Look for lace and your
grandmother’s cameo. Even steal your grandfather’s
hats, glasses or pants. We did! Remember though, al-
ways mix it with one contemporary piece from your
current wardrobe. Make it your own! A pair of flashy
tights or high-waisted skirt should do the trick. Other-
wise, you’ll end up looking like a Parisian widow, and
probably get carted back to a geriatrics home in the
local Meals-On-Wheels van. If, however you are the
kind of person that ONLY shops at H&M, Mango or
Zara, then stop reading now! It’s already too late…
Atelier An-Hor - 3, Rue des Chartreux - 1000 Bruxelles
Okay, vintage clothing has always been used and ab-
used by people desperate to find a fashion identity.
But why must they always BUY when clearly, the ea-
siest, cheapest and most effective way is simply kil-
ling your grandparents. Think about it, most of the
well-dressed people walking down the streets these
days with quality tailor-made jackets, real gold and
porcelain brooches are over sixty. Now take that look,
and add a hot beautiful young body. Voila! It’s a far
easier problem to solve than the fast car/old men con-
undrum, but that’s for another issue.
Don’t forget the right make-up!
Stop being scared of lipstick. If you put some on, go
all the way! Put a double layer on. Make it bright red,
pink, purple or even black! Don’t think about it too
much. DO IT!
Then again it’s not enough just to have the right clo-
thes and make-up. Like with anything “different”,
confidence is key. Tiger in the mirror always works
for me.
FIVE POINT PLAN
1.OLD
2.KILL
3.STEAL
4.LIPPY
5.BALLS
If you already know all of this and you ACTUALLY do
it, then come over and hang out with us. Moe needs a
new girlfriend ...
T-V
Scarf: Granny Vercruysse
Skirt: Granny Vercruysse
Pearls: Stylists own
 The Lumberjack paradox
We all know it, checked shirts are in. Even though Of course the reverse is also true, chicks in checks are
skaters have been rocking the trend since Courtney hot. Just remeber to leave the beard at home girls!
shot Kurt’s face off, it has only reached the hipster In fact it often takes a lumbergirl to complement the
and scenester racks in the last couple years. In fact, true lumberjack and vice versa.
they are so sideways* right now, that all you need to
do is let your facial hair grow wild and any girl with
the confidence to talk, is bound to sleep with you!
What is it about checks?

Ironically ,the only guys that aren‘t getting laid with

the lumberjack look, are Lumberjacks themselves.

We asked our science expert and he gave us this, but

we didn’t really understand:

# + shirt
=
hot
chick
X skinny jeans
sex

lumberjack lumbergirl - dog

canada =
graphic
designer
Basically if you listen to alternative folk, rotate bet-
ween two pairs of skinny jeans (probably girls jeans
to fit those snake hips) and rock out a bedhead shag
haircut, and you’re not already wearing a checked fl-
annel shirt, it’s about time you do!
But beware, the lumberjack is currently at its peak,
so before spending too much money on the latest J.S
Homestead shirt, you should know that you can only
enjoy it for another few months. Of course, if you live
in a capital like London, NYC or Berlin, then you’re al-
ready on the verge of being passé (with the exception
of skater kids in NYC, they’ll never change).
Are you a lumberjack/girl? send us some photos of
you and your checks: info@fuckyoubrussels.com
Over the past couple of years there has been a resur-
gance in heritage brands bringing the lumberjack/
workewear trend. Here are some of the brands we
like:
Woolrich - Wrangler - Lee - Levis - Pendelton - RRL -
Kapital - 45rpm - PRPS - Journal Standard
M-L

FUB suggests hitting your local thrift store and pi-

cking up a checked shirt for 2 euros, or better still,
go for a solid or Hickory stripe workwear shirt (that
trend’s still on the rise).

*Side|ways (adv. & adj.)

1. With one side forward or to the front; “turned sideways to show
the profile”; “crabs seeming to walk sidewise”.
2. Term used to describe someone who is socially appreciated, com-
posed, adored and prodigious to an extent that surpasses ‘cool’ by
lightyears

15
 YOU BOOZE YOU LOSE … NOT ANY MORE!
Don’t you just hate it- waking up with your head
pounding like a family of wombats are trying to Honors Student of Chungnam
eat through your eye bags? And your mouth; National University
like Ghandi’s flip-flop? Hangovers! Pfff!
There have been a million cures over the years,
but we’ve yet to find the actual answer … until
now that is! Those genius Korean fellas Kwang-
il Kwon & Hye Gwang Jeong (gotta love ’em)
have actually solved the problem for good. We
just want to know when the big boys at the spi-
rit & beer companies catch on to the technology.
Welcome Alcohol – io9
So these guys were given a huge budget by the
Chungnam National University to increase the
population of morning lectures. After months of
working on alarm clock technology, to no avail,
they said fuck it, got high, and came up with Al-
cohol – io9
The technology has something to do with in-
jecting oxygen molecules into the drinks, kind
of like the “fizzy pop process”. It increases
the effectiveness of the liver in processing the
10 pints that you’ve just necked (through the
magic of science or hepatic oxidation for you
nerds). Genius!
Let’s keep our fingers crossed that Kwon & Je-
ong share the joy and don’t hold the world to
ransom! Kwon (of Kwon industries). It even
sounds like a Bond villain.
If we’re getting all scientific (or is that philoso-
phical) then we have to show the downside. The
balance.
At the same time, there are some fucking idiots
in the world.
Creationist Neanderthals still trying to bury First of all, those who are religious, either drink whis-
their head up Gods’ ass! The result: key secretly, or, if this is their first experience with hard
BLACK ZERO – alcohol free Scottish whiskey liquor, then fuck off will they come back for more! The
BLUE ZERO – alcohol free Vodka second point, ill-health, is a fucking joke. You’re trying
to tell us that recovered alcoholics are really going to sit
The anti-thesis of the alcohol pop boom in the and drink vodka or whiskey with no alcohol, without ma-
90’s, the Zero Company might as well be trying king the next round a bottle of meths? Come on.
to sell Ammonia-free piss. We don’t even need to take the taste challenge. We refuse
Why would anyone want to drink booze with no to encourage these fucking muppets any more than we
alcohol? already have.
It is claimed that Zero is marketed to the reli- Dear Anne Robinson
gious & those with health problems. WHAT? Why Oh Why Oh Why ...
BOYS WHO DO GIRLS

17
Transvestism is not a new thing! Just look at
Shakespeare dressing up men and forcing them to
act like women in every play he wrote. Fag? Pro-
bably! However, has the ladyboy trend peaked at
meggings?
We say no! Fuck you! We are taking things to a
whole new level of gayness!
We still love the meggings trend (man leggings to
those of you who have been hanging out of the back
of a donkey for the last year) which has till recently
been shrouded in black.
Take it further. Go mental! Go for gold! Get some
shine on those ball-hugging-man-tights. Sequins &
glitter. If you’re going to put your trophies on dis-
play, then you’ve got to polish them!
Martin Margella has been telling us this for almost
a year now. So get your finger out!
However, if you’re reading this in your lumberjack
shirt thinking “man that’s totally gay, you’ll never
get me in meggings”, then open your fucking ears!
Meggings to women, are like a Swiss cheese mou-
setrap to an Ethiopian gerbil. They fucking love it
and by the time she realises you’re ugly and a total
cunt, you’re already wiping your cock on the cur-
tains, and throwing her some loose change!
Note: The shinier they are (meggings not girls) the
more attention you‘ll get. Girls are fuckable mag-
pies, but wear with caution, because fat chicks dig
meggings too.
D-B
We all know that menswear follows wo-
menswear about a year later, as we’ve
seen with the whole meggings issue. So
what’s next? ...

19
 LEOPARD PRINT YOU MUPPET!

Girls, your time is up,

this trend is ours now!

General animal print is good, but leopard is better.

This one‘s for the boys, so if you‘re a girl and still
wearing leopard print, then you‘re actually a man.

21
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SO UZI
UZI
Paper Gun Model Kit
Price: € 19,90 / £ 15,99
Format: 30 x 42 cm
Guns are cool, but they are re-
ally hard to find and cost a shit
load.
Worse still, if you get caught
with one, you’re looking at 5-7
years. Waking up in a cell, with
a guy called Terry who has a
penchant for small boys.
It’s not gonna be worth it ...
...until now that is.
Thanks to Martin Postler & Ian
Ferguson you can now pick up
an UZI or ak47 for less than the
latest Shakira album. This cool
accessory for your appartment
is a perfect paper replica of a
UZI 9mm.
23
On the downside, it’s gonna
take at least a week to build,
unless you’re some kind of ori-
gami expert, and the chances
are, one of your friends is gon-
na come back to your apart-
ment, and drunkenly try and
impersonate Arni: destroying
your arsenal in the prosess.
Even so, we are still getting a
selection for the office!
Also available: MP5 rocket
launcher, ak47 and Millbomb:
handgranade.
www.postlerferguson.com
D-B
MANUFACTURERS WARNING Not suitable for crack addicts trying to rob the local
Scarf: Etienne Sims Deroeux - Studded belt: Bess - Skirt: Models own - UZI: Postler & Ferguson
AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR.
NO MORE TOILET TOUR
Where were you on April 12th 2010 between 22h and
23h? Hopefully just like us at Domino Festival at the
AB club in Brussels listening to And So I Watch You
From Afar. No? Well, one of my friends with whom I
was supposed to meet, wasn’t either. She was in the
hospital with her boyfriend; He fucked up his collar
bone and she really missed out!
These Northern-Irish post-rockers have been around
for a few years but only recently crossed over into
the UK, Europe and even America. Earlier this year,
they literally blew everyone away at Eurosonic and
SXSW, but please, don’t take our word for it and go
check them out yourself next time they hit Belgium.
One piece of advice: drink a few nice single malt Irish
whiskeys and don’t forget those earplugs!
25
Doris: I have to say, that gig was amazing!! Do you
want to play at my wedding?
Tony: Yeah sure!
Rory: When’s your wedding?
Doris: Erm, I don’t know yet, need to find someone to
marry first I guess. Do you want to marry me?
Rory: Yeah, let’s talk!
Doris: Ok great, let’s first see if we survive this inter-
view. So when you said “You all look amazing tonight”,
did you mean it or was it just cheap Bono-flirting?
Tony: Fucking yeah! You all look much better than
we do in the UK and Ireland. You guys have a much
better diet!
Doris: Less Guinness? But Guinness is healthy, no?
Rory: Yeah, but ten pints of Guinness is not.
Doris: True. You have a soft spot for Belgium, right?
Tell me about Pukkelpop.
Rory: That was a bit of a headfuck for some North
Coast country boys from Northern Ireland to come to
Belgium and have 4500 people showing up at our gig.
Tony: Genuinely! We were beside ourselves. We
thought if about 100 people showed up it would be a
success as we’d never played in Belgium.
Johnny sneaked a look when we were on the side of
the stage but he didn’t say anything to us, he just said
“Yeah, mmm, looking pretty good”. So we were blown
away, there were 4000, 5000 people there!
Rory: It was really cool to see some t-shirts in the
crowd and some people knew the album already. It’s
just extremely nice to see the word is spreading.
Doris: You went to the US. How was that?
Rory: America was amazing, we’d never been there.
Doris: US virgins!
Tony: Yes, haha, US Virgins! In New York there were
people that travelled four or five hours to come see
us!
Rory: It’s a cool thing to tell your parents “We’re go-
ing to America”. “Wow, you’re not wasting your life
son!”
Doris: Actually, what do your parents and grannies
think of that noise you make?
Rory: They’re all really supportive.
Doris: Do they come to gigs?
Rory: Oh yeah! But we only invite them to the gigs
that look very spectacular.
Tony: And we reserve a place on the balcony.
Rory: Tricking them into thinking we’re famous.
Tony: Rory’s father even made the album’s artwork.
Listening to the album while looking at the artwork,
it’s perfect
Doris: Let’s get back to US. Do you have a customs
story, just like every other band?
Rory: Oh yes, we applied for our visas ages before we
were meant to be going but they didn’t arrive. Our
flights were this package deal and if you missed one
flight, they were all void. So we’d spent all this money
on flights and had no visas. We thought we just had to
try and sneak in. We came up with a story and all che-
cked in separately. We were just about to get through
and one of the women still had Tony’s papers and she
was like “You got to come to the office”.
Doris: They “smelled” you were a band?
Rory: Yes. They were like: “And So I Watch You From
Afar?” and we went “Erm, no”. They’d obviously
Googled our band name and seen we’d be playing
SXSW so they wouldn’t let us in. We thought this was
it but then our manager somehow sweet talked the
flight people and when our visas arrived the following
day, we were off. We only missed one show because
of it. It’s so funny though. We’re flying to the US and
it’s a nightmare to get in. Then we fly to Canada and
they’re all “Oh Hello! Welcome!”. We’re like “Do you
want to see our passport?” “Oh no! Come on right
in!”. They’re so easy going, we love the Canadians!
We could have probably smuggled a bong in! You did!
Tony: No I didn’t ‘cause that would have been an affir-
mation of the Irish stereotype.
Doris: Tell me about SXSW.
Tony: It was nuts! We were very fortunate to play
two gigs on St.Patricks Day. An Irish band in America
and it was St. Patricks Day, that did us a lot of favours
I think.
Doris: You were the “Hot Tip”?
Rory: I don’t know, I suppose it kind of grew
Tony: Yeah, I don’t think we believed that at first.
That’s the nature of SXSW, everyone wants to go
see everything. So there’s hardly anyone in the ve-
nue and then whenever we went on, it filled up and
we were “Fuck, all these people came out to see us”.
By the last show, we had a queue outside. The venue
had windows at the back which we opened out on the
streets. There were 200 people gathered who were
watching from there. It was nuts.
Tony: They were standing there in the blistering mid-
day sun and all of us dying, drenched to the bone in a
matter of seconds and we ate about 40 BBQ.
Doris: The famous texas BBQ! Everyone’s always go-
ing on about it.
Tony: I didn’t eat for three days when I got home as I
was still so full.
Doris: No veggies in the band then.
Rory: No!
Tony: I’m contemplating though!
Rory: Maybe we have to turn vegetarian now as we’ve
eaten all the animals on earth. I apologise …
Tony: Lord, we ate it all!
Doris: I’m getting hungry now, so one last question.
What bands should we check out?
SANDER SAYS...
Name: Sander Meisner
Sex: Male
Birth: August 18, 1979
Hometown: Amsterdam
Special Ability: Gurning
Sander is a musical ge-
nius, who‘s taste we
trust; So should you!
Each month he will be
passing down a snipit
of his infinite wisdom.
27
Rory & Tony: Abebisi Shenk, LaFaro, Axis Of, Bats,
Not Squares.
Doris: They’re all Irish?
Tony: We’re a small island surrounded by the sea,
so it’s strength in numbers. We all look out for each
other.
Doris: Getting out of Ireland is probably very difficult.
The first land you have to conquer is the UK, music
business-wise that’s a pretty hard nut to crack.
Rory: That’s it. We first toured in a Mitsubishi Caris-
ma with a roof rack and all our gear on it. It’s hard.
Whenever you get fuck all money and to start with
you have to spend 300 quid on the ferry
back and forth and petrol, and nobody is paying you
at the shows … You got to really be committed to do
those toilet tours.
Doris: Toilet tours!
Tony: Yes they smell of toilets: you don’t go if you
don’t have to.
Rory: Sorry to tell you this, but bands do this every-
where: when they arrive at the venue they go to the
girls toilets.
Doris: Oh well, I don’t think that’s a problem for us
girls, we hardly ever actually sit on a toilet that’s not
our own, we “hover”. Feel free to pee in our toilets all
you want. Thanks for the interview guys. Tony, shall
we discuss our marriage now?
Album Out NOW distributed by Suburban
D-V
Artist: Siriusmo
Song: Femuscle
Label: Exploited
Length: 03:19m
Album: Allthegirls
VERMIN TWINS

Childhood sweethearts Micha & Lotte have been experimenting with music, images and animation since they
met a long, long time ago. They’ve created a parallel universe where robots and insects rule the world. While
studying at art college in Brussels they began making music.
No jamming on electric guitars or banging on drums but electronic stuff with gameboys , synths and whatever
they could get their hands on. Why? Well simply because with a decent pair of headphones these nighttime
creatures could work on their music whenever they wanted and however loud they wanted. Pushed by the
enthusiasm of Lotte’s brother, the talented Mr. Tim Vanhamel, they decided to go public with their wacky beats
and started working on their renown and ever changing live performance.
They’ve just released their first album EXOSKELETON on ROUGH TRADE.
Check them out on at the festivals this summer!
http://www.myspace.com/vermintwins
D-V

29
WHAT WHORES ARE LISTENING TO
When I asked “Who wants to go and hang out with prostitutes?”, I saw the drool puddles accumulate on the
office floor from our perverted male writers. It was then that I realized, objective journalism could, in this case,
only be executed by a Girl. In fact, objective or not, I just wanted our writers to come back disease free.
9pm, friday night, Gare Du Nord! Fuck You Brussels, decided to check out the local talent. After a few knock
backs our research got underway. Here are the results.

Name: Katinka - meaning pure! “my mother

gave me that name cause of my blonde hair
and my angelic look!”
Origin: Russia
Age: 27
In the job for: 3 1/2years . “Got into the job for
the money”
Favourite music to fuck to: Call On Me - Eric
Prydz “call on me boys”
Top 5 songs you love at the moment: “I love
songs in my own language, so I’ll give you a
top 5 Russian songs of the moment for me.
You won’t understand what they’re saying
but that doesn’t matter, they have special me-
aning to me!”
*DJ Vini feat. (Club Mix 2009)
*Serebro - (which means Opium)
*Julia Savicheva – Nikak
*seroga-diska malereya
*Julia Savicheva feat T9 – Ships
And your top 5 non Russian: “I love a bit of
trance!”
*Armin van Buuren- in and out of love
*Ocean Lab – Satellite
*Ferry Corsten- beautiful
*Above & Beyond vs. Andy Moor - Air for life
*Above and Beyond - Alone Tonight
Some last words? “I like music I can move and
dance to”

Name: Lilly Name: Cotton Candy

Origin: Belgian Real Name: Bohdanna
Age: 19 Origin: Ukraine
In the job for: 2 years Age: 24
Specifications: Does S&M too. In the job for: 5 years
Favourite music to fuck to: Gunther – Pussy- Favourite music to fuck to: “I like to listen to
cat “I like to play songs that have a dirty ring the radio while working, it keeps me up to
to it, it arouses my clients!” date with the latest pop songs and news in the
Top 5 songs you love at the minute: “I like to world”
listen to noise/gothic and to things with a hard Top 5 songs you love at the minute:
beat to it, the things that give normal people *Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
a headache. Here are some of the more well *Rihanna - Russian roulette
known songs” *Hilary Duff – Stranger
*Noisuf-X - Hit me Hard Hit me Fast *Fame - I’m gonna live forever
*Straftanz-Tanzt Kaputt Was Euch Kaputt *Madonna - Heartbeat
Macht Some last words? vtvYou can never have too
*Xotox - PSI much sugar”
*KiEw - dcdisk
*Combichrist -Get Your Body Beat Thanks girls, you’re a credit to your profession.
Some last words? “When is the magazine co- Keep up the good work. We wish there were more
ming out?” like you to crush those unfounded stereotypes!
31 J-S / D-B
 BASICALLY, IF YOU’RE TWELVE AND A FAT BAS-
TARD, THEN IT’S PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA
TO GET A   JABBA THE HUT TATTOO ON YOUR
BACK.

BEEF CURTAINS

THIS GIRL DESER-

VES TO HOOK UP
WITH “CUNT PUN-
CHER” GUY

OOPS YOU DID IT

AGAIN?

WHAT WERE
YOUR PREVI-
OUS ALMIGHTY
FUCK-UPS? DAVID
CARRADINE’S
ASPHIXI-DEATH-
WANK PHOTO ON
THE OTHER
SLEEVE?

WTF?

33
 BAD INC.
THE WORST THING IS THAT THE SHADING IS
WAY TOO WELL DONE FOR THIS TO BE PRISON
DYKE INK. DID THIS STUPID FUCK GENUINELY
THINK THAT HIS CHANCES OF GETTING LAID
WOULD REALLY INCREASE WITH A “CUNT
PUNCHER” TAT (Centre image)

OK, PRISON’S TOUGH! BUT WHEN YOUR CELL MATE LOOKS

BETTER THAN THE SEXY BIKINI GIRL ON YOUR ARM, THEN
YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO RE-EVALUATE YOUR CHOICE IN
SKIN WANK ART.

I’VE BEEN THROUGH A VOLCANO, EARTHQUAKE, TSUNAMI,

FLOOD, HURRICANE AND ALL I’VE GOT TO SHOW FOR IT IS
THIS SHIT TATTOO.

THE DANCER WITH CANCER.

RE-INCARNATED AS THE RAINBOW FARTING SWAYZE-
TAUR. IF THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGY HANDS OUT IN THE
AFTERLIFE, THEN WE CAN’T WAIT FOR THE HARIBO SHIT-
TING TOM-CRUISE-O-POTAMUS
WAFFLES & WARHOL
I’ve known Arno Kool for 2 years, but haven’t spoken
to him in about a year. When we first met, his studio
WAS his apartment, graff on the walls, scattered art
books, and a scrappy portfolio full of genius illustra-
tions. I asked him to do some work/collaboration for
Levis (I was working there at the time). He said he
would do a t-shirt saying “Levis are shit” and basi-
cally told me to fuck off! Nice! It turned out they had
fallen out a couple of years previously over money or
something.
Even though we couldn’t speak the same language, at
6am in a drug/drink stupor, we related.
Arno had an exhibition a few months ago which we
had missed, so I wanted to catch up, see what he was
up to. We bumped into him at Flagey, and asked him if
we could do an interview.
When we turned up a couple of days later, I expec-
ted he would still be that underground street artist in
the same shitty apartment, struggling to make ends
meet.
35
FUB: So who the fuck are you?
A: Arno Kool
FUB: What the fuck do you do?
(Enter Charles Antoine! ... international playboy, art
collector, manager, trustifarian & translator)
C: He doesn’t do that much.
FUB: (laughs) Could you give us a bit more, con-
cerning the last show, who you are exactly and why
you’re here?
C: My name is Charles Antoine. That is my real name.
I met Arno almost three years ago, and he showed
me his work. I’m a collector so I was quite concerned
about the contemporary art and I liked his work. I
showed his work to a friend of mine who is an art dea-
ler. And then we decided to organise a show for Arno.
That was a year and a half ago. He worked almost a
year to prepare the show and we did the exhibition
about 7 months ago. It was a huge success. He’s pre-
paring a second show for the moment. We are trying
to organise shows abroad as well.
FUB: Where’s the next one then?
C: Probably in Rouan, for sure in Brussels and likely
in Barcelona as well as in Berlin.
FUB: Which gallery in Berlin?
C: (hesitation) It…err… might be Wilde Gallery.
FUB: So what’s your style?
A: At the beginning I worked much more with acrylic,
after that, I started to work with spray. It has been 5
years that I’ve been trying to merge both acrylic and
spray. I also try to take the crazy part of what I did in
graffiti with me when I do the drawings, the colours
and the rhythm. In the world of graffiti there are no
rules, no limits, no boundaries and that’s what I liked
about it.
Right now there are so many barriers and rules in A: Yes exactly, I have a small chance here to break
this small artist world so I decided to go back to my through. And by the way, I’m a Belgian artist, not a
first love: painting. French one.
FUB: Do you find it limiting? FUB: So you got ripped of by a bunch of corporate
A: All the excitement I could have with my graffiti companies, so that’s why you don’t sell your soul ea-
work, the friends, the adrenaline … I can’t find this sily … But financially how’s that working out?
in the studio. A: Yeah, it’s ok, it will come together, I have someone
FUB: But it gives you the time to work on it, rather I trust right now so it will be ok.
than knocking up a tag and legging it from the pigs. FUB: Ok, I was actually looking for a number.
A: That’s what I like you know, the limited time, the A: (laughs) Yeah, but you know, money is not what
speed, you have to go back to basics. drives me …
That’s a part that stayed in me, the need for pressure, FUB: JUST TELL US HOW MUCH? ... only kidding.
for adrenaline. So it’s not easy to find it in the Studio. Just one last question, then we will let you get back to
FUB: So you did use to tag, you were a graffiti artist, work. What was your worst sexual experience?
how many times have you been arrested? A: (laughs) Yesterday evening.
A: One time.
FUB: How long were you locked up for? We had a couple more beers, chatted a bit longer with
A: 48 hours. Charles and forced Arno to pull his pants down (all in
FUB: did you get anything to eat? the name of art). It turns out they weren’t just his in-
A: Yeah, Stale waffles. terview pants. We are gonna hook up with Arno again
FUB: What inspires you now that you’re not working to do a Fuck You/Arno Kool jean collaboration. A pair
in the streets anymore. Now that the graffiti-street- of LVC 501’s worn in & fucked up over 6 months, rea-
hip hop lifestyle has gone out the window… dy to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. If you
A: I try to find inspiration in life and people in gene- can’t wait that long, then check out the live art piece
ral. I don’t go often to exhibitions; I believe that graf- at the launch party, it’s up for grabs too.
fists who have art books at home are quite fake. If
you’re a real graffist you don’t need no fucking books.
FUB: Whom do you respect internationally and na-
tionally? Which artists do you admire? And not only
painters but across all disciplines…
A: Warhol, Picasso, Brel, Jimi Hendrix, too much….
FUB: And graff?
A: MODE2, Jon One, Futura 2000, OClock.
FUB: And locally?
A: Rage, Arme, Byz, Sozy, Shake. Keny
FUB: It appears that to be a successful artist today
you have to be 10% talent and 90% sales. Do you ag-
ree?
A: Well that’s exactly the thing I refuse, for me it’s
about graffiti in the streets. I worked against the sys-
tem of getting paid in the beginning; I did a lot for
free. Now for the last 5 years I realised I have to go
with this because otherwise my work can’t be shared
and I have to make a living of course.
FUB: So you’re not splitting your time doing both sel-
ling and painting?
A: No that’s not my problem, I take care of my pain-
tings and I’m glad I have people who take care of sel-
ling my work.
FUB: Is Brussels important in the art world? Because
we couldn’t really find any famous artists that come
from here … and are you planning to stay in Brussels
or do you want to move somewhere else?
A: I realise I have to go to other countries you know,
like France, Spain, and Germany. Because it’s a fact
that Brussels is too small. But Brussels is a central
point, and there are so many things still to be done
here. I don’t want to live in Brussels but I want to die
in here.
FUB: I think the good thing about Brussels is that you
can be a big fish in a little pond. If you live in other big
cities like New York, Paris or London there’s at least
a million people doing exactly the same as you, and FUB: We at FUCK YOU BRUSSELS
probably much better. So it’s hard to get on the first stick two fingers up at BXHELL
rung of the ladder. With Brussels there’s a chance. Who do you stick two fingers up at?

A: FUCK LA POLICE!
 Writers Editor-in-chief
MAURICE LATZKE DANNY BARTLETT
DORIS VANISTENDAEL
Photography / Illustrations
WINCENT TWARDOWSKI
JULIE SCHEURWEGHS
TATIANA VERCRUYSSE
O-D
JULIE SCHEURWEGHS
DARREN CULLEN
Design RENE LATZKE
MAURICE LATZKE LOTTE VANHAMEL
DANNY BARTLETT Front cover
Proofing JULIE SCHEURWEGHS
ANTONELLA AXISA Styling, Hair & Make-up
ORLA MCKEATING
Models
MONA VERFAILLIE Special Thanks
TATIANA VERCRUYSSE THE MOON
CRISTOVAO VERSTRAETEN SHIFTY NICK
CAFE LE COQ
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