Body language and communications skills!!!

An overview
Our society is less expressive in terms
of body language at the level of
common people, even we utter some
words from the bottom of our heart in
some special circumstances and we
really mean it but we are unable to
convey the real impact of words. This
thing is felt less when we talk with
person from same society or same
region of the world because we all are
same and other person can
understand our message in real sense.
But when you go to western countries
then you can feel the difference with
regard to body language and
communications. When you talk with
those people they have the capability to synchronize their words with other body parts. Body
language, expressions and voice tone is so much important in that society and so much
neglected in our country. The best way to understand about the body language is to talk with
local people in the west when you are there, and try to notice how they move their body parts
when they are speaking, and how they change the tone of their voice.
Body language is the nonverbal
communication where words and
feelings are also expressed by
physical behaviour, such as facial
expressions, body posture, gestures,
and eye movement. Body language is
so much important because if a
person is unable to understand your
accent, he or she will get you what
you are saying when you are
expressing yourself with gestures.
There are few basic things that I tried
to learn when I stayed in US for short
time:
1. Eye contact: Eye contact is so important that this is the last thing that you would try to
neglect when you are talking with other person in west. Those people maintain as much as
eye contact as possible, they wont look here and there while talking, they wont make
awkward gestures with eye contact i.e looking to other parts of the body beside your eyes.
When they use to speak and there are 2-3 or 4 people in group, they try to make eye contact
with each person just to show them they are also involved in the conversation. Even when
you are trying to talk from backside of any person, they try to move their head and make eye
contact.

2. Hand shaking and introducing yourself: If you are male and shaking hand with same
gender, try make firm hand shake for few extra seconds and greet each other, try not to jolt
the hands while hand shake and at same time try not to squeeze the hands hardly. For
females hand shake should less firm but take few more seconds for hand shake as mentioned
for males.
3. Hands gestures: Try to move your hands with words accordingly, there are many gestures
and you can try your own suitable gestures with hands to convey your message. DONT make
awkward gestures that leave inappropriate impression to other person i.e pointing to any
private parts. If you are weak in this part you can note the other person how he is doing then
try to do it by yourself. Some easy gestures are like pointing towards yourself indicates you
and point to other person means (s)he, shrugging the shoulder means I dont know, twisting
the hands means where/why!!!!
4. Head movements: Try nodding your head saying Yes and try left right head movement for
saying No. You can learn more by observing to other people
5. Facial expressions: You can try to use your some unused muscles!!! Lift up your eyebrows
means shocking news/sad news, frowning means that youre feeling sad for that person.
6. Arm position: Try to open your arms or hold at the back side. It is said if you are
crossing your arms or crossing the fingers in between the conversation then you are trying
to oppose the opinion of other person who is talking. So leave your arms free and if you
are feeling tremors then try to control this because it shows lack of confidence.
7. Lips: Lips can convey your smile, your sadness, and shock over any matter.
8. Voice tone: We have wavy voice when we use to talk in our native language but we
become monotone when it comes to English. Your tone should be polite, slow & confident, do
not stammer, emphasizing on important words (try to twist them) and also try to make your
voice up and down. One easy way is as you highlight the headings of any essay, try to
speak those heading sentences in high voice and other sentences in low voice. This is
really great idea, isnt it?

9. When you are talking to other person, try to make that person realize that you are very
attentive and curious about that talk. Good communication skills are your conversation
should be attentive, involving and should be bilateral. Try not to interrupt anyone when (s)he
is talking, try to involve other person in your talk.
10. Leg movements: If you are moving here and there while talking then it means like you
are not confident and not comfortable with environment, even you are sitting avoid jerky
movements of your legs; so try to be relax, still and confident when you talk.

Influence of the words is

magnified by gestures not by
speaking loud!!

A Person with whom you are having conversation can check your confidence with your body
movement, eye contact, your voice tone & youre standing/sitting style. There may be few
schools which are actually focusing on body language otherwise many people in our society
remain deficient from these communication skills.
If you go to the US or other western country then try to speak with local people as much as
possible and try to observe them and see how they are doing. When you to talk to them, you
will involuntarily implement these skills in your conversation as well. One can also learn
these skills from people with well refined communication skills in our society.
Remember!! Even normal communication skills in our society may not be the standard skills
in other societies so we need to point out our deficiencies and this can excel our career
aspect everywhere in the world.
If this document is helpful to you, then please remember me in prayers for my future
endeavours. Thanks!

Raja Shakeel Mushtaque, M.D

Dow Medical College,
Karachi, Pakistan.