The Office

“FBCOA”
by
Aaron Leupp

(602) 799-2958

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aaronleupp@hotmail.com
INT. OFFICE – CONFRENCE ROOM - MORNING
A bunch of people from the office are sitting in a circle
in the conference room.
PAM
(to Phyllis)
You and Bob no way!
OSCAR
I am going to get back to work.
KELLY jumps up in starts sharing her two truths and a lie
in the background.
PAM
(to the camera)
The game is called two truths and a lie when you say three
facts about yourself and everyone has to guess which one is
a lie. We have been playing it since the Christmas party
and I think I know a little to much.
KELLY
Meredith got it!
MEREDITH
That amateur stuff honey. I did all those including the lie
before I turned 20.
KELLY
Ew.
DWIGHT enters.
DWIGHT
You guys still playing huh well try this. I can dismember
and put back a Judas Cradle in less then 4 minus and 35
seconds. Can name all 1,017,018 species of insects in
alphabetical order backwards. Lastly one of my descendents
is Marcus Garvey.

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 TOBY
How do you kill everything.
Everyone leaves the room. DWIGHT smiles.
DWIGHT
(to the camera)
The secret to winning is to name three things that no one
could ever believe that you can do. (Pause) or cant do.
(wink)
INTRO
INT. OFFICE – CAMERA ROOM - DAY
JIM
Now we are a smaller business we have to find creative ways
to network ourselves just in this state alone. Pam came up
with the creative idea to go to local entrepreneurs groups
and reminded them that there are other options than
Kinko’s.
INT. OFFICE – CAMERA ROOM – DAY
PAM
One for pregnant girl!
INT. OFFICE – MICHAEL’S ROOM - DAY
MICHAEL
So where we off to JIM?
JIM
The university.
MICHAEL
Wait were going to a college?
JIM
Yes.
MICHAEL
Does Pam know about this?

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 JIM
She is the one that organized it so… I hope so.
MICHAEL
Hope you been working on your game because this is what
you’re up against.
JIM
I am not quite sure…
MICHAEL turns on his computer and shows him a couple
youtube videos of guys doing beer pong tricks.
MICHAEL
You ready for that Jim?
JIM
Uh.. just because it’s at a school doesn’t mean… never mind
lets go.
They start to get ready as MICHAEL stands up and holds up
his glass.
MICHAEL
Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
JIM
You are not saying that.
MICHAEL
Chill out man. It will be all good, you don’t know how the
peepz communicate at the campus like I do.
JIM
Whatever MICHAEL, we need to just be carful how we
represent ourselves there today.
INT. OFFICE – FRONT DESK - DAY
ALEX (a younger grungy looking guy) walks in quietly with a
mini zen tree with a bow on it behind his back to ERIN’S
desk.
ERIN

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 Hey you! You’re an hour early…
ALEX
I know sorry use to traffic in LA thought you had to leave
an hours early everywhere you go, it is a nice change. Any
way just wanted to give this to you now (hands her mini zen
plant) since it’s for your desk anyway.
ERIN
This is exactly what I was talking about thank you so much!
ALEX
Any time. Hope your boss lets you put it there. Well I will
be in the area waiting and checking this place out hit me
up when you get off…
MICHAEL enters and sees his opportunity to prove JIM wrong.
MICHAEL
What’s going on my bro! Brotha my brotha.
MICHAEL gives him a handshake to a wired gangster hug.
ALEX
(confused)
Hey. What’s goin on man…
ALEX
I know I am not supposed to be here, hanging around so I
was just about to leave.
MICHAEL
Aah don’t worry bout it, we all cool here. (yells) Right
Stan?
STANLY ignores him.
MICHAEL
He is just joshin. What’s that Erioooon?
ERIN
It’s a plant I wanted for my desk, but am waiting to get
the ok from you to put it on display.

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 MICHAEL
Of course duh! Those things are sweet. We were thinking of
replacing all the plants hear to karate kid plants weren’t
we Jim?
JIM
No. It was nice meeting you but we gotta…
MICHAEL
(to Alex)
So were you off to now bro?
ALEX
Uh.. I am a little early picking up Erin for lunch so I am
just going to drive around…
MICHAEL
What?!? No man kick it here its all good.
ALEX
It’s ok thanks. I don’t want to interrupt you guys working.
MICHAEL
(laughs)
Work? Ha na we just hang. Plus Me casa is me casa.
ALEX
Wait I am confused…
MICHAEL
You can chill here man right by the door.
ALEX
Ok I will thanks.
MICHAEL
Ya man it’s a cool kick it spot, I kick it hear all the
time.
ALEX

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 Really isn’t your office right hea…
MICHAEL
Yah just hang check your emails on your phone, twitter,
twatter…
JIM
(serious)
Ok we really have to go.
ALEX
Thanks again guys.
MICHAEL
Peace!
ALEX
(whispers to Erin)
Your boss is a pretty cool guy.
MICHAEL over hears and points to JIM with the “I told you
so look.” Jim just shakes his head. As Alex sits down to
open his laptop ANDY gives him the evil glare.
INT. CAR – DAY
JIM and MICHAEL are driving to the college.
JIM
Don’t you think its pretty crazy that everyone lost our
jobs except for us?
MICHAEL
I have thought about it, but more importantly. What if the
guys with the cameras show up at the party huh? You think
Pam will get upset? Man that isn’t much you can do now with
your ball and chain. Ball and chain.
JIM
The kind of guys with cameras won’t be there. Trust me and
as for my chain I would much rather have that than a small
hope that guys with cameras will be at this party.

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 MICHAEL
Whatever your just jealous because I chose this life style.
Single and rich. You can be my wing man. No not even that
my beak man which is worse.
JIM
The mouth is what keeps things alive that makes it more
important don’t you think?
MICHAEL
Shut up.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
ALEX is on his phone and glances at PAM for a second as she
flips her hair and continues to type. ALEX stops staring
and continues what he is doing as ANDY notices in anger and
suspicion.
INT. OFFICE - CAMERA ROOM – DAY
ANDY
Something is up with this guy and I am defiantly getting to
the bottom of this.
INT. OFFICE -BREAK ROOM – DAY
DWIGHT is in a bathroom stall and Andy slides an envelope
under his stall that has the words “Top Secret” in red on
it.
DWIGHT
Who is this?
ANDY
(panics and in a deep distorted voice)
Uh.. this is agent… Skully…
DWIGHT
(opens the envelope)
I am in!
ANDY is surprised.

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 DWIGHT
I see you want me to get more information out of Erin’s
boyfriend. Well that’s simple 6’3, estimated 200 pounds,
brown, hair…
ANDY
No I need dirt on the guy.
DWIGHT
Hmm something can be arranged if you don’t mind me asking
why “Skully?”
ANDY
She one of us you know, I care about her.
DWIGHT
Like a father?
ANDY
(offended)
What!?! Not lik… (realizes he cant tell Dwight about his
feelings for her) yah.
DWIGHT
Consider it done. A favor (glances at the camera) for a
friend.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
DWIGHT is at his desk and glances as ANDY and nods his head
as ANDY nods back. DWIGHT pretends to sneeze as he throws a
pen in ALEX’S direction. ALEX dodges the pen and picks it
up.
PAM
Dwight!
DWIGHT
(yells)
I am terribly sorry everyone easy mistake now back to work.
Sorry bout that didn’t get your name?

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 ALEX
Oh that’s cool its Alex.
DWIGHT
Alex huh (turns around to ANDY and winks)
DWIGHT
Well I am lucky that you have quick reflexes I right? You
have any special training in the past?
ALEX
What do you mean?
DWIGHT
Kickboxing, Jiu-Jitsu, Close quarters… you know basic
stuff.
ALEX
Oh no. My friends and I did start a fight club once in high
school.

DWIGHT glances at ANDY.

DWIGHT
Oh really!?!
ALEX
I am just kidding. Shoot my crops went bad!
DWIGHT
What do you mean?
ALEX
Oh nothing its this game I play called Farmtown. See look.
ALEX shows DWIGHT his computer.
ALEX
This game is kind of cheesy but has really built my
appreciation of real farmers you know?
DWIGHT smiles.

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INT. OFFICE – CAMERA ROOM – DAY
ANDY is talking to the camera while DWIGHT is mentoring
ALEX of the ways of a true farmer in the background.
ANDY
Really? Really?
EXT. COLLEGE – DAY
They walk up to the auditorium where they are passing out
nametags. MICHAEL is upset because everyone at the
convention is dressed for success like him.
MICHAEL
What kind of time are we living in where even the college
kids dress like this. Its pathetic.

JIM
The fact that you still insist that this is a party is
pathetic. (to they guy at the door) we are here with Dunder
Mifflin.
STUDENT
Oh wow I got your email didn’t know you guys were actually
gonna come. Its an honor.
JIM
Uh.. thank you?
STUDENT
It truly is an honor to have people that have actually
succeeded around to show that hard work can pay off.
JIM
Uh…
INT. OFFICE – CAMREA ROOM – DAY
JIM
Apparently FBLA stands for Future Business Leaders of
America not local business leaders of America. Thanks Pam.
INT. OFFICE – CAMERA ROOM – DAY

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 PAM
Hey at least I am trying. I don’t see anyone ells doing
anything to hel… what I am pregnant alright give me a
break.
EXT. COLLEGE – DAY
STUDENT
Would you guys be interested in making a quick speech about
how you guys got to where you did for us?
JIM
Uh… sure I guess.
STUDENDT
Great one second.
The student walks off to get someone.
JIM
Well I guess we came all this way we can market ourselves
to potential business.
MICHAEL
Potential lame businesses.
The STUDENT brings over his teacher.
STUDENT
They are right hear.
TEACHER
It is an honor you guys come follow me.
They follow the teacher into the auditorium.
JIM
How bad could it be right just a couple kids and a couple
questions?
INT. OFFICE - DAY
KELLY is pacing over in excitement dragging RYAN along to
ERIN’S front desk. KELLY mouths these words to ERIN as she

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peers around the corner to see ALEX.
KELLY
(mouths words)
I got your text message he’s here!
ERIN smiles and signals them over while Alex is on his
laptop.
RYAN
(whispers)
That’s…
ERIN
(smiles)
Yah.
KELLY
(whispers to Erin)
He does look like him.
ERIN
(whispers)
I will introduce him to you guys at lunch. How is the new
music video coming?
KELLY
Ryan is too lazy to learn how to edit, and has been staring
at the computer for hours instead of trying.
ALEX
Hey guys sorry, but I was over hearing you guys were making
a music video?
KELLY
Yeah!
ALEX
That’s so cool, what are you using to edit it? FCP?

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 RYAN
Yeah.
ALEX
Wow sounds like fun, if you guys ever need help let me
know, they are fun.
INT. RYAN AND KELLY’S CUBICLE – DAY
ALEX
Wow thanks for letting me have total creative control on
this it’s been a while since I did this.
RYAN
(sarcastically)
Yah, usually I do all the work, but you seemed cool and I
wanted to give you the opportunity as a friend.
ALEX
Thanks. Man I can’t believe you guys are allowed to do
stuff like this at work.
RYAN
(looks at the camera)
Yah, it’s pretty cool.
KELLY
You’re doing a great job! Do you know how to crop in a ton
of guys around me like in the Ga Ga videos?
INT. OFFICE – CAMERA ROOM - DAY
ANDY
Who does this guy think he is? He comes to my work takes my
women pillages my land? No this is not how it’s going to
down.
INT. OFFICE – LUNCH ROOM – DAY
KEVIN is trying to get his dollar back from the machine.
KEVIN

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 I hate how this happens every single time!
ANDY hits the machine a couple times and nothing happens in
an attempt to impress KEVIN. He gets frustrated and goes in
the back of the machine and presses a button dropping the
snack KEVIN wanted.
KEVIN
Wow thanks. How did you do that?
ANDY
We are cool right?
KEVIN
Of course.
ANDY
You got my back right?
KEVIN
Hell yah. Well wait it depends if it’s a fight then no but…
ANDY
It’s not a fight we’re not in junior high (laughs). That
guy over their looks like he is though don’t you think?
KEVIN
I don’t know. He is playing games on his computer but I do
that too so…
ANDY
Doesn’t he look a little suspicious?
KEVIN looks at ALEX.
KEVIN
Now that you mention it he does.
ANDY
You and me are like the protectors of this place so lets go
see what’s up.
KEVIN

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 Totally.
They walk over to ALEX. KEVIN runs back to grab his snack
then follows.
INT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - AUDITORIAM
The teacher laughs and opens the doors to expose a huge
auditorium packed with students from all over. They follow
her to the stage.
JIM
Oh wow.
JIM
(whispers)
We will be brief and then get out of here asap.
MICHAEL
I am going to give these students a piece of my mind.
JIM
No you are not. That is the last then they need.
TEACHER grabs the mic.
TEACHER
Attention everyone I have right here two gentlemen from the
Dunder Mifflin paper company that is hear to share there
success story with you. Please welcome Jim and Michael.
JIM grabs the mic.
JIM
Hello everyone now you all know it’s hard especially during
a recession like this to progress your business. The best
method is to think of creative ways to market yourself. All
the friends you’re making here might potently help benefit
you in the future so make an effort to get your name out
there as much as you can. Most importantly you should all
be proud of yourselves for…
MICHAEL
No they shouldn’t.

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 JIM
…proud of yourselves for trying to make something of
yourselves.

Everyone cheers as MICHAEL tries to grab the mic.

JIM
Thank. Thank you.
MICHAEL
No thank you.
JIM
This is not the time Micha… Michael.
MICHAEL
Listen all of you what’s going on huh? Huh? You’re all a
disgrace. You’re all in college!
Everyone cheers.
MICHAEL
No no no. This is no time for cheer you should be ashamed.
Look at you all trying to be something your not dressing up
in suits and trying to start businesses; this isn’t what
your parents paid for. Your supposed to get a friend and
join a fraternity and find out it’s the worst fraternity on
campus and stop the Den from taking you guys down.
STUDENT
Isn’t that Animal House?
MICHAEL
Shut up. No this is serious. And I spent my whole life
working for the man. Then when I finally make something of
myself they fire me. Then when they fire me I started my
own business worked my way to the top to be bought out to a
company that is now going out of business.
Silence.
MICHAEL

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 I am now divorced and have nothing. You say get a job. I
say enjoy your life. Cuz it wil...
JIM drags MICHAEL outside.
JIM
We are going home this is the last time I will ever get
out of the way of a microphone and you.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
RYAN, KELLY, and ALEX are walking towards the front door.
ERIN
Perfect timing I am ready to go too.
ANDY
Hey one second. Alex right? Erin you never introduced me to
the little guy.
ALEX
Hey.
ERIN
Sorry ANDY but we got to go next time he comes by…
ALEX
No its cool I will meet you guys down stairs.
ERIN
Ok.
RYAN rolls his eyes and leaves while KELLY and ERIN follow.
ALEX
Yah I am Alex you guys friends of Erin?
ANDY
So what’s the whole deal with you two?
KEVIN
Yah what’s the deal?

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 ALEX
(to Kevin)
You look familiar have I seen you from somewhere?

ANDY
Stop getting off topic what’s up?
ALEX
Now I know I have seen you before. You’re a drummer that
plays at Brixx off Washington. Scran… Scrantonicity
ALEX and KEVIN at the same time
2!
KEVIN
(surprised)
Yah that is me.
ALEX
You guys rock man. (starts to sing) every move you make
(Kevin joins) ill be watching you (they laugh)
ALEX
(to Andy)
Sorry man I never got your name.
ANDY
(in anger)
Andy Bern…
ALEX
Ard! Dude this is perfect Erin was telling me you have
killer vocals we should all three Jam sometime I play bass!
(to Kevin) I know you busy with your other project but
would you be inters…
KEVIN
I’m in.
ALEX

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 Sweet! Andy…
ANDY
(pause then gives up)
I wouldn’t want anything more.
ALEX
Sweet. I finally met some cool guys in the area. I am happy
you guys stopped me before I left it was meant to be.
Anyone got any good band names?
Kevin starts to name off band names as Andy walks away in
anger and defeat.
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – AFTERNOON
MICHAEL sits on a curb by himself reflecting on his life
and what he just did. A group of students are walking by
and one of the girls sits next to him.
GIRL
Hey I know it got a little crazy in there… but I did learn
a lot from your speech and it really helped me if that
means anything.
MICHAEL
It’s the least I could to since we already spent the gas.
GIRL
So when you had to start your own business was it scary?
MICHAEL
(starts to pay attention)
I would lie to you if I said it wasn’t a little scary, but
it was all I had at the time so we went for it. I think
after you get that fear its really just doing it that gets
things done.
GIRL
That really makes sense thanks. Yah I go to school,
conferences, and all these contests to test my skills in
entrepreneuring, but I guess I just need to go out and do
it.

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 MICHAEL
Now you’re getting it.
GIRL
The thing I don’t understand is things were going so well
and fun when you did things on your why did you go back to
work for a company that is going under?
MICHAEL can’t think of an answer.
INT. CAMERA INTERVIEW ROOM – AFTERNOON

ANDY
He is freaking flawless! I
guess the nard dog has to
keep it cool for a bit, but
what really sucks is I was
hoping this would work out
just like it did for Tuna and
Pam. I would save the
receptionist in distress from
the evil low life boyfriend,
and then become even a higher
boss then tuna in the end of
course. She does deserve the
best and, I guess you cant
win them all… wait what?
Andy looks out the window.
As ANDY talks to the camera
in the window behind him ALEX
waves by to ERIN, RYAN, and
KELLY as they go inside.
Alex then walks over to a
couple warehouse guys and
talks for a bit. He gives
them a handshake that looks
like an exchange for weed. As
ALEX walks away with the
money they signal him over to
join them and he starts to
smoke with them.

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