Deliciously Dirty From a Distance

When Shes Not Interested

or
Not Able To Have Sex

by Lawrence Lanoff

Website: http://www.DigitalRomanceInc.com
Email: support@digitalromanceinc.com

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The SMARTS

The SMARTS:
When She's Not Interested
or Not Able To Have Sex
The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed
purely for pleasure.
Eve Ensler, The Vagina Monologues

There are many reasons why a woman may not be interested in or able to
have sex. Lets face it indoor plumbing is a lot more complicated than
outdoor plumbing.
In this module, Im going to offer you some ideas about what may be at
the root of her lack of interest and some ways that you can restore your
sex life with or without intercourse.
There are two common reasons women become uninterested in sex.

NO SEX REASON #1: Im not in the mood.

If your woman is constantly not in the mood, there are a lot of reasons
why her libido might be lacking. She could be bored. She could be too
tired. Her hormones could be out of whack.
If she is too tired, there are a few ways you can approach this.
Approach 1: Ask each other, how important your sex life is.
Sex should be equally as important as your relationship. Not something
that can be shoved aside, allowing other things, like watching The Walking
Dead, to take precedence.
You have to make time for it. This might mean negotiating and planning.

The SMARTS
I know a woman who is a lawyer. Her job is full of long days and stressful
encounters, and she often works weekends. When she gets home from
work, the last thing she has energy for is sex. All she wants to do is eat
dinner, zone out in front of the TV, and crash early.
If she and her boyfriend waited for an opening in their schedule, they
would never have sex. Instead of letting their sex life suffer, they make it a
priority to schedule morning sex.
They do this by setting their alarm early enough so that they can get some
loving in before they have to leave for work.
You can also work out a compromise. She might not be in the mood for
sex, but is she in the mood for something else. Ask her if she would like a
sensual massage or a long cuddle session.
Many times Ive had a girlfriend tell me shes too tired for sex, and I offer
a massage or cuddle. Nine times out of ten this turns into sex. The key is
to truly be neutral about whether sex happens. If you are offering this as a
way to manipulate her into sex, she will feel it. You have to put 100
percent of your expectations aside and simply focus on enjoying the
closeness of cuddling or massaging her and see what happens . . .

Approach 2: Schedule a time that works for both of you.

Take the time to make the time. No pressure. Just communication.
Approach 3: Negotiate some other kind of intimate activity that you
are both into, even if it doesnt lead to intercourse.
She also might be saying, Im too tired when what she really means is
Im too angry.
When women are angry, they tend to shut down sexually. If you suspect
this might be at the root of your lack of sex, Ive found the best way to
handle it is to face it head on. Shutting down sexually is not the way to
handle anger.

The SMARTS
I suggest saying something like, I feel like something has been bothering
you. I hope you know you can talk to me about anything. I want to do
whatever it takes to make sure we are OK and you are feeling SAFE.
Make sure you pick a good time to have this kind of conversation when
you know you wont be interrupted and you both have the energy and
emotional bandwidth.
When she speaks LISTEN, instead of planning your defense.
This isnt about winning or fixing anything. Often women just want to feel
heard and understood.
A simple I can totally understand why you would feel that way, and Im
sorry can work wonders for your sex life.

The second common reason women lose interest is:

NO SEX REASON #2: Shes not having fun and/or shes bored.
I have given you lots of great ideas for spicing things up in the bedroom
that could be great remedies for curing boredom.

Sexual Role Playing

Hypnosis and Sex

Dirty with Respect

The Lust Mirror

The Porn Script

These are all real-life ideas for creating spark and spice in the bedroom.
However, women dont always want a fancy new technique.
They simply want to do something together that really deepens intimacy,
which will put them in the mood for sex.

The SMARTS
So, if you have tried all of these and still dont seem to be getting the
results you would like, have GRIT! I have one more suggestion that might
get her motor running.

I call this technique The SMARTS: The Sexual Memory Advanced

Resurrection Technique Simulator
For some reason, we as human beings are more prone to remembering
painful memories rather than joyful ones.
Therefore, sometimes we get stuck in a loop and focus on all the negative
things about our partner instead of all the SMART, wonderful qualities
that drew us to them in the first place.
If this sounds like your situation, I have a technique that can help rekindle
the passion by reminiscing about great times you have shared together.
The great thing about reminiscing is that it reignites all the same chemicals
that were present at the time it was actually happening.
You see, your brain cant really tell the difference between imagination
and an actual experience. That is why you can think about a lemon and
feel your mouth pucker.
A Moment of Sexual ZEN: Your Brain is a 3-pound, world-class
simulator.
Your Brain is a 3-pound, world-class simulator and you can run
simulations about anything and everything. The secret to happiness and
the secret to great sex is to run simulations that MAKE YOU FEEL
GOOD!!!!!!!
Therefore, you can compound the pleasure of an event by making sure you
talk about it together days, weeks, or even months after its happened.
This is truly capitalizing on a good investment having fun times
together.

The SMARTS
Here is an example of The SMART, my friend David sent me to share
with you. He and his girlfriend, Holly, had hit a rough patch and had been
arguing a lot.
He made a point of regularly doing this with her. Soon he noticed a
significant decrease in the amount of time she spent being irritated with
him.
Sound like something worth trying? If you have The SMARTS - then fuck
YES!!!!

Heres a sample of The SMARTS in Action.

D: Hey babe. Do you remember that time we got a couples
massage at the Marriott?
H: I do. That was a lot of fun!
D: Mmmm. Yes. Sit back and listen while I replay it for you.
H: Okay.
D: We walked into our room on the top floor, overlooking the city,
and there was a bottle of champagne and chocolate covered
strawberries waiting for us. It was late in the day and the sun was
setting. We were both so excited and happy to finally be there with
all the outside distractions gone so that we could really focus on
each other.
D: I poured our champagne and we toasted. It was our three-year
anniversary. Then we headed down for our massages.
D: They took us into a room together. I remember you got the hot
stone massage with cocoa butter, so the whole room smelled of
chocolate.
D: I could hear you sighing in relaxed pleasure and had a hard
time trying to keep from getting a hard-on thinking about you all
oiled up and getting rubbed down.

The SMARTS
D: After our massages were over, they filled a Jacuzzi tub for us to
soak in and then left the room.
D: I pulled you in close and kissed you deeply. I felt you relax in
my arms as you melted into my body.
D: We were both completely naked. I rubbed my hands down your
ass and squeezed. I licked you and tasted chocolate. My cock was
at full mast and I pressed it hard against you.
D: You whispered, I want you so bad.
D: The soothing massage music was playing in the background.
D: I sat you down on the edge of the table and spread your legs
apart. I looked at you and said, You better be quiet. I wouldnt
want them to catch us fucking in here! Then I put one of those
towels soaked in cucumber and ice in your mouth.
D: After that, I kneeled down and began licking your sweet pussy.
You were already so swollen and wet. In no time, you were shaking
and muffling your moans as you climaxed.
D: I then pushed you back onto the table and crawled on top of
you. It felt so naughty to fuck right there on the massage table!
D: I pushed my cock in your tight little pussy and kissed you hard
to keep from moaning too loud.
D: You were gyrating your hips against mine as we found a
perfect, synchronistic rhythm. I could hear the sound of the unused
Jacuzzi tub and the birds chirping on the massage soundtrack.
D: Time felt suspended. I looked into your eyes and told you that I
loved you. That you were the only women for me and that I would
love you forever, and then came hard inside you.
D: We both got a little teary-eyed after that and just held each
other, until we heard a little knock at the door letting us know our
time was up.

The SMARTS
D: I will never forget that evening. You looked so beautiful and I
felt like the luckiest man alive! And you know what?
H: What?
D: I still feel like the luckiest man alive!
Notice how he recalled so many details about the evening. The sounds,
images, sensations, and feelings. Throughout, the story he let her know
how much he still cares about her and how much he appreciates her.

Step 1: Recall A Scene From The Past

The first time you do this, it may help to write it out ahead of time. Grab
your journal or pull up a new Word document to use for your creation.
We are going to use Davids story as an outline and substitute your own
personal details as needed. Think about a time you made love that was
memorable. If you can't think of something incredibly memorable, you
can feel free to embellish, too.
Jot down the answers to these things:

Where exactly did this experience take place?

What were you wearing?

What day of the week and time of day?

Foreplay activities

Intercourse and positions

Revel in the Afterglow

Step 2: Deliver
Much like how you delivered your Porn Script, you are going to let her
know that you have a story to tell her. She can sit back, listen, and enjoy.

The SMARTS
If you are delivering by text, remember to send just a few sentences at a
time. Space each message by at least 10 - 20 seconds at the fastest. That
way, your texts will deliver in the order you've sent them.
Variation
You also dont have to be this detailed or elaborate or even recall an event
involving sex, although its a lot more fun this way! However, making it a
normal habit to recall in casual conversation with one another fun times
that youve had together is also a great way to stay connected and keep
each other focused on the positives in the relationship.

Step 3: Focus on What You Want

Ultimately, I'm training you to become a sexual adult. And at some point,
as sexual adults, we have to ask ourselves what is it that we really want
in our relationships, in our sex, and in our lives.
Ultimately, it's your beliefs about sex that are fucking up your Mojo. So
think about what you really want, and keep upgrading your life and your
sex life.