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Acknowledgments…………………………………………………….. 4
Introduction ……………………………………………………………5
Chapter 1………………………………………………………………11
Why are teenagers turning to violence and crime?……………11
So why do store-owners refuse to service teenagers?…………12
Chapter 2……………………………………………………………….22
Parents………………………………………………………….27
Words and Abuse………………………………………………31
Chapter 3……………………………………………………………….34
Teenagers………………………………………………………34
Chapter 4…………………………………………………………….…40
FAQ’s…………………………………………………………..40
Chapter 5………………………………………………………………..46
New Generations of Racism……………………………………51
Learning to communicate………………………………………53
Chapter 6……………………………………………………………….57
Sex and Drugs………………………………………………….57
Chapter 7………………………………………………………………62
Stories………………………………………………………….62
Chapter 8………………………………………………………………73
Poems and food for thought…………………………………...73
The End………………………………………………………………..97
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INTRODUCTION
I have been asked many times, by many people over the last nine
years why I have been writing this book. I always give the same reason; I’m
writing this book with the hope of bridging the gap between parents and
This book will not solve all parent/child conflicts, and I’m not going to
give specific details on how to solve actual problems that a parent may
encounter with their child. This book has been written to give both teenagers
and parents greater insight to what they may each be going through and help,
especially parents, decide what may be the best course of action to take.
One thing you will not find in this book is column after column of
data and statistics. I really don’t believe that this type of information is
relevant when deciding what is the best action to take in a given situation. If
you are the type that likes or want that kind of information visit your local
library or bookstore, I’m sure that you can get your fill of data and statistics
I would like to give a word of caution; Data and statistics are fine but
don’t let yourself get into the trap of placing your teenager into these
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statistics. This could cause you to become frozen in fear and indecision as
Another potential danger is that the extra knowledge may actually put
you at odds with your teenager. This usually happens when you approach a
what is causing the problem it will be closed to what your teenager is really
telling you the problem is. Your teenager is an individual and being an
possible to write a book and state, “ If you have this problem, do this”; YOU
CAN’T.
The next question of course, is why did I feel like I could or needed to
to a small town and my life style suddenly got simpler. We had moved away
from a place where I knew and worked with many teenagers on my own
time. That had been a very fulfilling time for me as I had created many
friendships; friendships that were hard to leave behind. The teenagers had
taught me much over the years, as much if not more than I had taught them.
This was where I learned how teenagers think, feel, and react to the world
around them. This was where they taught me not to fear them but to
understand them.
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Later I started hearing on T.V. and the radio about teenagers getting
into trouble, living on the streets, violence, suicide, gang beatings and death.
Right then I knew that I had to help somehow. The news made it seem like
more and more teenagers were turning bad and that teenagers stopped
understand them, than what’s going to happen to the next generation and the
lives. So I started to ask teenagers why? The answers I received ranged from
it making them feel like they are good at something to making them feel
powerful. Others replied that it helps them deal with the frustrations they are
When asked about theft, the common response was that they felt
insecure and vulnerable and stealing helped to make them feel in control of
their own destiny. This also fulfilled their needs for things they could not
have and gave them a powerful feeling when they got away with it.
When asked about teenage social classes they replied that among
teenagers there are many social classes. They stated that they do not always
get the choice of their social class that they are placed into but that they are
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often placed there through circumstance. Once they are classed they are
For days and months on end I thought about what teenagers were
saying to me and how individuals and society were treating the next
generation. Each day that went by it hurt me to see the violence and the pain
that many teenagers were having to suffer on a daily basis, often due to the
statement, would be that I hope that through this book I can help this
generations. I know that this is a bold statement for a person to make, but all
it really takes is some understanding from all parties involved to make this a
adults how to talk to each other. The concept is simple; it’s the
This will involve teenagers and adults changing their way of thinking
and socialization. This change is not only necessary between teenagers and
I suppose the next question would be what makes me think that I can
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something about it for years. I would answer by saying “I went about
imparting. Nor am I going to use big fancy words that will require a
discussing. This has allowed me a very real insight into the teenage
world and the changes in society they have had to go through. I learned
more about real life problems and developed problem solving skills in
the years I spent laughing and crying with teenagers and as a parent
then I ever could in university, and I want to thank the many teenagers
teenagers and adults a small look into each others world. I also hope to
give teenagers some food for thought when thinking about their own
lives.
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I will accomplish this without the use of lots of data and statistics
that are designed to scare, but by giving an insight to what drives most
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The End
The city was cold and very lit up, but this world felt dark and I was
alone with my jacket. I had holes in my socks but I felt, at the time, that this
was better than the fighting and put downs and the way it hurt inside when I
lived at home.
I wasn’t wanted there anyway, why stay and die? I had an argument
with my mom; was so long ago I don’t even know what it was about.
Warehouses and run down apartments are a home and whatever you could
lullaby and the train at 6:30 in the morning was my wake up call.
Then selling drugs kept me alive. I never did drugs but sold enough to eat
every day and the people I sold the drugs for kept me protected, for a little
while anyways.
Was it worth the cost of the discipline and rules, for some maybe? I
saw many people come down sick from the dampness, never seen them
again.
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I moved a lot, you never stay in a spot for long, as you had to fight
with too many people to keep a spot, so you keep moving. The more you
moved the safer you felt, as safe as you can feel on the streets that is.
how long they would live or be there. Each day was different then the last,
you see some people one day and the next they have disappeared. You never
ask because usually that started a fight. You stay out of other peoples
After living on the streets for a while, I felt that if there was a chance
to talk with my parents again I would. Living with my parents would have
been better.
I was lucky, many of the people on the streets preferred to stay there
rather then with the family they once had. Abuse, assault, hateful parents,
and more, they still say that living on the streets is better.
Look at your parents and remember how much discipline really works
I cannot write very well so I’ve told my story and someone else is
writing it.
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Note from the author
This story was told to me and related to you so that you would get an
idea of what could happen to your teenager. Whatever you do listen to them,
care for them and remember that you gave birth to them. They are yours
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About the Author
because not many people with these qualities would combine them to create
Melodie has devoted a lot of time; a lot of energy, and a lot of years, to
helping teenagers understand their parents and themselves. She has a great
understanding of how their mind works and how a teenager with the
qualities they have will deal with the situations ahead of them.
Now Melodie would very much like to help you understand your
teenager better and ask you to help them with the tender and confusing times
There has been a lot of research involved in presenting the pages that
The information in this book can bring you and your teenager closer
together or better yet, keep them close before they shut you out.
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BACK COVER
The pain of my one last love is held deep in my heart, and it seems as if now
that hurt has taken all my love from my soul.
My last love was hurt and he held the one decision that would leave me with
the last part of my now empty soul.
I look at him from a distance to see if the pain I feel is felt to by my love. If I
was to feel his pain would it be as strong and hurtful as the pain that seems
to lasts forever in me.
I found in Melodie the one person who understands the pain, hurt, and agony
of being alone. This person is cared and loved by many, but in so many
different ways.
She is to me the one who is my angel to guide me down that path. She is the
one I know will always be by my side to feel the love and caring back.
If this person ever has doubts in that she has let me know, and feel her
doubts, her feelings.
She has put her trust and love in me.
She has helped in so many ways not to be seen.
I feel as if she took my pain inside and kept it for me.
I love and trust her and call her my friend.
This young lady was 15
Inside these covers you will find more then stories and poems you will find
my thoughts, my love for teenagers, and maybe food for thought; that and
perhaps understanding
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