Cruel to Be Kind

by
Guilt | Pleasure
Novel: Kichiku Neko
Art: Toga Q
Guilt|Pleasure 2010, 2012
www.guiltpleasure.com

Chapter 1

Id had my eye on him ever since he was introduced to the company nearly a year ago the day he
arrived with an expensive suit and prim smile. Very proper and very good looking, hed reminded me
of a collectible porcelain doll, the kind that served little purpose except as a trophy decorating a
room. Naturally rumors came with him, since hed been made the Presidents personal secretary, an
impromptu title and position which hadnt existed before he came.
He had an American name, although he had strong Japanese traits. His profile said he had been
adopted by a military family in Okinawa. It hadnt been that long ago that his biological family had
found him and brought him back to Japan.
Alexi Kagura Edmonton.
Hed introduced himself as Kagura and dismissed his foreign name, although he had kept it. It made
him exotic, I suppose. Id wanted him. Just as all the men and women in the building had wanted him.
He was utterly out of reach; being the prized possession of the most powerful man of the third largest
company in Tokyo.
However, my opportunity did come months later.
I caught onto his industrial espionage three weeks before the first report of a possible internal
security breach was brought to my attention. In a closed session, I assured the President I would
conduct the investigation personally and would have the mole flushed out within a month. That was
all the time I needed.
Through security permissions log-in analysis, I tracked his electronic activities. It was not unusual
for someone with his status in the company to have access to sensitive information. However, he was
accessing data he didnt need. I could have alerted the security staff and begun a formal investigation,
but that might have meant my little prey would have been lost to me. He could easily have fled back to
the organization that had sent him.
A week after Id started to track him, he began to hack into the client transaction archives. He was
upping his ante. It was something of a surprise how skillful he was. He was so good that he could
have eluded me if I hadnt already been watching him. I became even more attracted to him the
doll was turning out to be more than a pretty shell.
I allowed him to do what he wanted and let him farm the information. A few days later, the flurry of
activities started to wane. He was backing out. He even started deleting his data from employee
records. Hed be in and out, leaving a trail of debris and no one would know where he had been and

where hed gone.

In my office I waited for my computer to cue me when he accessed certain databases again. It was a
Friday night. He wouldnt be back on Monday. I had paid his landlord to call me the moment Kagura
gave him notice of his lease cancellation. His last day at the apartment was that day; that Friday.
He entered the building past midnight, showing the old watchman seated at the front desk his badge
and smiling as he passed by. I watched him on the security cameras. He was dressed in a dark blue
suit that fitted his body perfectly. Always presentable even if there werent an audience he
carried in his hand a silver briefcase instead of his usual black leather one. I kicked back and
watched him let himself into the elevator that would take him to the top floor.
I let him work uninterrupted for about an hour before I decided to visit. After 10 P.M., only myself
and my assistant had access to the executive floor. He wouldnt expect company, since he hadnt had
any in the past months.
The elevator opened on the darkened corridor, one room lit at the end. The sounds of a copier
became louder as I approached it. He didnt see me at first, his eyes fixed on some papers he was
reading. The copier was busy feeding a stack of paper from one side and ejecting the copies in a neat
pile on the other.
He was startled to see me when I knocked on the doorframe and smiled at him. His eyes went large
with fear.
Working late? I asked and stepped in.
Yes, he stammered. To his credit, he quickly gathered his bearings and displayed his usual
disarming smile. I need to finish something for the President.
You work so hard, I said to him. I moved in close enough to make him back up.
I am new hereI have to prove myself, he said. He backed up a few more steps right against the
copier. The machine continued to work uninterrupted.
So earnest, I said. I raised a hand and he flinched, watching it come toward him. I ran the back of
my hand against his cheek. He grimaced. Its good to have a healthy work ethic, but you should put
some of your looks to use. Maybe then you wouldnt have to work so late.
His eyebrows knitted and his smile fled. He slapped my hand away. Get out, he said. You are
not needed here. Let me finish my work. He started to turn away from me.
With one hand, I grabbed him by the back of his neck. With the other, I took a handful of his hair.
The folder he had fell and the loose papers scattered on the floor. I bent him over the copier, pressing
the side of his face down on it.
You got offended by that? I asked. We are going to have more fun than I thought.

What are you doing?!

He squirmed and I held him down harder.
Let go!
I know everything, I said.
His movements suddenly ceased. His body was still tense, ready to fight, and he was breathing
hard.
Ive known for months.
He said nothing. Not even a token denial.
Youve been a very bad boy, I said as I scanned the shelf that hung over the copier. There were
reams of paper, a box full of tacks and a roll of black duct tape. I kept control over him with a hard
hold on his neck while I reached for the tape. When he saw it, he started to struggle again.
I tore the tape loose from the roll with my teeth. I wrenched his wrists together behind him and
bound them with the tape. He yelled profanities, kicking at the copier he was pinned against. When I
finished, I spun him around to look at me.
You want me to tape your mouth shut? I asked him, holding the roll up to his eye level.
He shook his head.
Then behave, I said and threw the tape back onto the shelf. It knocked the box of tacks over and
sent the little silver pins spilling over the copier and onto the floor.
I know this would have been your last night, I said and hooked a finger through the knot of his silk
tie, pulling it loose. So this copying the files in the middle of the nightare you collecting your last
mementos to take with you?
He breathed harder, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I couldnt tell if he was scared or angry.
If you knew he started to say.
Why didnt I say anything? I finished his sentence. I wanted to see what youd do. I dont make a
very good security chief, eh?
I ran a finger down the slope of his cheek, down to his chin. I suppose I was under the same kind
of spell as the President, I said. My finger dipped downward and slid over his white starched shirt,
a tentative exploration at first, just a feel of the expanse of his chest. Then my fingers paused over one
of his nipples. I circled it until the shape of it became more evident through the shirt.
Dont touch me.

I would choose my words wisely, I said and pressed my mouth over the slight outline that stood
out. He gasped. I bit it, trying to pull the little nipple through the shirt. He started to squirm again.
When I pulled away, his face was flushed and his eyes were damp. Saliva had dampened that small
spot; the pink nib visible through the now half-translucent fabric.
If you are going to turn me in, then do it.
For someone in such dire straits, you are quite demanding, I said, running a fingertip over his
nipple.
So what then? Are you going to rape me?
Rape is such a terrible word, I said. But I do intend to see that a company employee is properly
punished for breaking so many rules.
I picked up one of the tacks that was on the copier. Before his eyes even registered what I had, I
pierced the side of his nipple with it. The pin went all the way through, with its pointed end sticking
out. He screamed. I left the pin in and let the blood bloom in a bright crimson circle.
Who sent you? I asked him, nudging the hurt nipple with a fingertip. He grimaced. The red stain
on his shirt grew slowly. I yanked the pin out with a fingernail, letting it tumble onto the floor. I
picked up another pin and showed it to him. He shook his head.
Dont.
Actually, I dont mind if youre difficult, I said. We have all night.
I ripped open the shirt just enough to expose the area of his chest that was bleeding. The cute little
pink bit had turned bright red. He winced when I clamped the pads of my fingers over it and twisted.
Ill stop any time you decide to be good and answer my questions.
I slid the second pin in at a slightly different angle, as slowly as I could. A droplet of blood
collected and rolled down, marking a fine line down his chest before it was absorbed by his shirt. He
took in deep breath and held it; not making a sound.
I cant tell you, he finally said, a tear sliding down one cheek.
I swept a hand over the top of the copier and gathered more tacks, holding them in a loose fist .
Where should we push all these in? I asked him as I shoved a knee up between his legs.
He shook his head, another tear rolling down his other cheek.
I threw the tacks back onto the copier, scattering most of them on the floor. I kissed him. He didnt
react, even as my tongue swabbed the inside of his mouth.

Well, the questions can come later, I said and pulled out the tack. He let out a cry when I closed
my mouth over his nipple and licked up the blood, its metallic taste dissolving sweetly in my mouth. I
would have continued to suck on the little morsel if I hadnt felt arousal tug insistently in my groin.

Chapter 2

I pulled him along, out of the copy room and toward the executive office where he worked. His
nicely furnished office used to be a reception room for the Presidents exclusive visitors. Since
Kagura came, the room had been made over with expensive furniture, lamps and pictures. There were
new customized leather sofas near the panoramic windows with a city view. His work space was
connected to the Presidents office by an open doorway.
I dragged him past his desk where his computer was on, its screen brightly lit. It was the only light
in the room.
The President will have a pretty bad day on Monday, I said and shoved him onto the sofa. Hell
lose his favorite fuck toy and the companys secrets. I ran my hands through his hair, sifting the soft
strands through my fingers. But I like you. Since the day you came to this company, Ive always
thought the President shouldnt be the only one to sample this body, I said. I took off his shoes and
socks and pants as I spoke. He was shaking; his body tense as I stripped him. He was probably trying
to decide whether or not he should put up a fight. Nice things should be shared.
As soon as I pulled the pants and underwear off him, he struggled to hide himself and close his
legs.
Dont do that, I said warningly. I wont tell you again.
He stopped moving. I spread his knees open and he allowed it.
Are you going to rape me? he asked again.
I loosened the tie around my neck and smiled. Getting ahead of yourself, I said and undid the top
three buttons of my shirt. Youve not been properly punished for what you did yet.
Are you going to let me go afterward?
Maybe, I said and undid my belt buckle. Depends on how sorry you are.
He frowned. He didnt understand what I meant but he didnt say anything, either.
Get on the sofa, I said. Turn around and on your knees. Let me take a look at your ass.
It took him a few moments, but he decided to do it.
How does he fuck you? I said, running my hands along the soft surface of his ass.
Are you kidding?

Not at all, I said. Tell me what he likes to do to you.

He cant keep his hard-on up for more than a minute, he said finally. He fucks me with a dildo
while I suck him off.
Oh? I said and slid a finger between the cleft of his ass. So this hasnt been used very much?
Maybe Ill ask you to find that special toy for me later.
You cant keep it up either? he asked, looking over his shoulder at me.
That was the only thing he had left the last thread of resistance. It made me happy. I pushed a
finger between his cheeks and into him. He tensed. I can keep it up longer than you can take,
darling, I said. You'll be wishing for that dildo soon.
Fuck you, he said in a whisper.
I shoved my finger in hard, knuckle-deep and it made him wince. I intend to, I said, twisting my
finger in the tight warmth. I intend to do so quite thoroughly
I pulled my finger out and straightened. I slid my belt out from the loops and folded it half. Ah I
keep getting distracted, I said, tapping his ass with my belt.
I can make this worth your while, he said.
I do intend to make this worth my while you dont think I compromised my position for nothing,
do you?
I can promise you more than what you are getting now.
Dont bother, I said softly. Moneys not an issue for me. My family owns twenty-five percent of
the shares in this company. My parents care more about this job than I do.
He silenced. He probably came to a realization that I may not let him leave the building with the
information he had worked so hard to harvest for the past year.
I could probably have your throat slit after Im done with you, and not one person would object,
and then I could probably move into the Presidents position within months if I exposed this terrible
problem he brought into the company.
He looked away.
I brought the folded belt down across the flawless flesh and left a bright red mark across both
cheeks. A welt rose from the skin instantly. He gasped, choking down the scream that nearly came. I
struck him three more times before I paused to stroke the damaged flesh. There was a single hairline
break of his skin, a droplet of blood was collecting on its surface.
Who sent you?

He said nothing. I pressed a nail into the hairline cut and drove in until I felt his body go taut.
I am not a very patient man, I said. The droplet of blood rose and trailed downward until it
thinned into a red line. And the more my patience is tried, the crueler I become. Understand?
His hands curled into fists. His head was down and he was shaking. I continued to whip him with
the belt covering his ass and his thighs with welts. Some had started to darken into bruises while
some bled. He took it all, swallowing the screams.
Are you sorry about breaking the company rules, Edmonton-san? I asked, discarding the belt on
the floor. I turned him over. His face was damp from sweat and tears.
He said nothing, only reacted with a changed expression in his eyes as I pulled down the zipper of
my pants. He shook his head, looking at the thickened erection that would soon be inside him. I folded
his knees forward until they almost touched his chest. I pressed my cock against the small puckered
hole and pushed. His eyes widened and his teeth clenched.
I would have been nicer to you and even prepared you if this wasnt part of your punishment, I
said. I pushed harder and a scream came this time. His body was fighting me, refusing to let me in. I
hooked two index fingers in the rim and pulled apart the small opening. I pushed in again and again
until the delicate skin around the mouth of his hole tore. The coppery scent of blood wafted up, the
scent stronger as I drove in deeper. He was crying and screaming. I didnt stop until I was all the way
in.
Please he gasped. He was panting, as if his breaths had been stolen.
I stilled, just savoring the velvet-like warmth that was like a tight satin glove wrapped around my
cock. The columns of his muscles contracted violently. It felt so good that I nearly came then.
You should be used to this, I said and moved my hips in a circle. He bit down on his lower lip. I
know you fucked your way into this position.
What the hell do you know? he shouted, his lovely eyes glassy with tears that continued to trickle
down. What the hell do you know about me?
I held him by his chin and made him look at me when he tried to turn his face away.
You need to look at me as I fuck you, I said.
He looked as if he was restraining himself from spitting at me. For no particular reason, I smiled.
Defiance looked good on him, even in a situation like this.
Your last known address was in Long Island, even though you were raised in Kyoto until you were
seventeen, then you studied at Stony Brook University where you majored in Medical Science. You
stayed there until something brought you back to Japan eighteen months ago. Not even half a year after
your return, you maneuvered your way through the corporate ladder and into this posh little position
that usually takes most salarymen a lifetime to get to, if they even reach this floor at all.

I pulled my cock out and pushed back in hard. He winced.

In fact, youve been with this company since you came back to Japan. You worked in one of our
branches in Osaka for a few months in an entry level position. Somehow, you were at the right place
at the right time when the President visited that branch a year ago, and coincidentally you landed a job
the old man created just for you.
I stopped talking for a bit and thrust in and out of him, pulling screams that echoed in the spacious
room. He never begged for me to stop he took the pain as it was given to him.
What youve acquired could not have taken a year to steal. Why did you stick around when your
job should have taken you only a couple of months to finish?
He didnt answer. I picked up the pace and drilled him a little longer. Although I was still hard, my
arousal was waning. I pulled out of him his blood coated the length of my cock and was smeared on
my groin.
You might think otherwise Kagura-san, but truth be told, I am the only one in this world who is
truly kind to you. I am the only one who can save you.
It was then that I saw surrender absolute and final in him. He sobbed, crying harder. I got up and
went to the adjacent bathroom. I wiped myself off and tucked back in before I wet a towel and came
out with it. He was still as I had left him, but he had stopped crying.
I turned him over to unwrap the tape around his wrists. After he was freed, I left the wet towel over
one thigh. I sat on the sofa facing him and lit up a cigarette.
S.D.I., he said finally.
The collapsed company we acquired in a hostile takeover two years ago?
Yes.
The president of that company committed suicide three days after the takeover
He pressed a forearm over his eyes. For a long time, he didnt speak. I smoked half a cigarette
before he did.
That was my father.
That was a guess, I said. He must have spent a fortune hiding you, and with good reason, I
suppose. The yakuza would have made a good portion of their loss back with you. Youll do very
well in porn; in between being rented out to suck cocks in their Clubs.
People from the company tricked him into taking loans from the mob the excessive interest rates
destroyed the company in less than a year.

It was still your fathers mistake and no one elses, I said and got up. Hes too old to be nave
about the ruthlessness of this business.
I went to the bathroom and flushed the remains of the cigarette down the toilet. I splashed some
water on my face. When I came out he was sitting up wiping off his bloodied thighs.
So youre ready to throw away everything your father did to hide you just so that you can have
your revenge?
He said nothing. His movements were languid as he continued to clean himself off.
Since this place is your little love nest with the President, Im sure you have spare clothing here.
Take a shower and get out.
What are you going to do?
I walked toward him and stood between his spread thighs.
You owe me a good long fuck, I said. I didnt get to finish.
I fished my wallet out from my pocket and tossed my card at him. It fluttered and landed near him on
the sofa.
Im sure you will remember to thank me properly after you finish with your job here.
He looked down at the card then up at me. You have no loyalty to this company?
I only have loyalty to myself, I said and walked away. As far as I understand the situationI
own you. All of you.
Thirty days, he said when I was about to walk through the door, before this place sinks.
I winked at him and waved before I stepped out.
Next morning, I studied his work. He had left little trace of his presence no one knew what he
had taken or even if he had taken anything. It took me five hours before I figured that he had spent the
months secretly archiving client transaction records for delivery via a hidden secondary mail server.
If his warning had been correct, in a month the privileged data housed there would mass distribute to
thousands of competitors worldwide. It would then only be a matter of days before the once
invincible corporation would start to crumble, and perhaps in a month it would collapse completely.
I sat in the chair, marveling at his exquisite work while the resignation letter I had drafted sat in a
folder beneath my right hand.
It only took me minutes to decide what I wanted to do next.

Chapter 3

I saw him again, nearly two years later.

I had made my return back to Japanese soil after the fall of the company had been complete and the
dust had settled. It had been a rather messy collapse thered been suicides and bankruptcies and a
few possible murders. Its rather interesting how much can be forgotten in two years. Even promises.
He was sitting at a newly built sidewalk caf across the street from the former headquarters of the
company hed brought down. He was wearing a dark suit with matching leather shoes, reading a
newspaper that had been folded back carefully. A cup of coffee sat to the side, along with a ceramic
creamer and a silver sugar bowl.
I watched him from the back of the limo that had pulled up along the curb of the building I had come
to see. I stared at the pale vision Id nearly forgotten about amongst the company of women Id lived
with in Germany a vision that made me remember something I had forgotten to claim.
The car door opened and my driver stepped to the side. I slid out and straightened my suit, my eyes
still fixed on Kagura.
Go to the front desk and ask for the appointment to be rescheduled, I said to him.
Sir?
Theres something I need to do that is a little bit more pressing, I said and made my way toward
the crosswalk. Call housekeeping afterwards. We will have a guest tonight.
He bowed slightly to acknowledge my commands, but I sensed him look back at me as he walked up
the steps.
He was calm, even offering the slightest smile as I pulled a chair out from the table and sat down.
You were expecting me, I said.
He placed his paper down on the table and tucked it under the cup and saucer.
For almost a year.
Here?
Yes.
I find that rather difficult to believe.

You cashed in when the shares were at its peak and left the country. Its inevitable that youd come
back one day to buy the leftovers.
He waved for a waiter to come to our table. A young man in a blue tee-shirt bearing the caf logo
and an apron came to us. Kagura ordered an Americano. I shook my head and sent him away when he
looked at me expectedly.
You didnt turn me in, he said.
And you would reward me by offering yourself to mefor as long as I wished?
I didnt say that.
You think Id let you go after a couple of fucks?
He shrugged again. His eyes panned over to the glass skyscraper across the street and back at me
again.
You are buying the building?
Perhaps.
Isnt it bad karma? he asked, smiling slightly, the corners of his mouth moving only fractionally
upwards.
Im sure that was purged after the President took a dive off the roof.
He said nothing and his slight grin remained. I barely recalled what hed looked like that night when
Id raped him the tears and the angry words that had spilled from him.
Do you still remember? I asked.
He opened his mouth to answer, but said nothing. The waiter had returned with a fresh cup of
coffee. Kagura slipped him a folded bill and poured the remains of the cream into his coffee and
stirred it. The smile never left his face.
Of course I do, he said finally. I think about it every day.
You came back and waited for me, knowing it could happen again?
He took a tentative sip from the cup and held it by the rim. Could it?
Is that a request?
He placed the cup down on the saucer. Its anything you want it to be, he said, the smile gone
from his face, Sakiyama-san.

He was quiet once he got into the car. He looked out the tinted window at the scenery as we slowly
made our way through the Tokyo traffic, his arms crossed over his chest. He still looked as good as
the day hed been introduced to the company the subtle grace in his gestures everything.
I slid over just enough to wrap my hand around the back of his neck. He looked away from the
window and a corner of his mouth curved up. I leaned in as I pulled him toward me and kissed him
softly at first, small kisses to test him. He didnt pull away and his arms only loosened to fall to the
side. I drove my tongue between his lips and his tongue licked against mine. His mouth was sweet
with the lingering taste of coffee. I crushed him harder against me, biting into his mouth and onto his
tongue. Still no resistance.
You were stupid to come back, I said as I unbuckled his pants, undoing the button. If the yakuza
knew you existed.
But they dont know, he said and let out a sigh when my hand slipped in and took a handful of his
cock. No one but you knows who I am.
Just because your father fabricated a new life for you on paper doesnt mean the real you doesnt
exist somewhere on paper here in Japan, I said.
You would protect me, right? he asked as he pulled my hand up and leaned into it. I came back
to repay my debt to you after all.
He licked an index finger, slowly at first as he watched me. Then he took it into his mouth where his
tongue expertly worked on it.
Is this how you got him? I asked. Work your mouth and ass on a lonely old man right to the top
floor of the company?
No, he said. Our meeting was unplanned on my part. I was set up by the Osaka branchs general
manager. He asked me and some others if we would like to make a bonus on the sideall we had to
do was entertain the President and his entourage. I only accepted to see what he was like. I had been
led to believe the entertainment would simply be flattering the old men, putting up with some sexual
harassment and pouring them drinks until they passed out drunk.
He sat up, his arousal gone.
It was a sex party, he continued. Rather, a kind that was often held for the older elites? The 'Blue
Party'?
Ah, that kind, I said and laughed.
The Blue Party was named after illegally imported Viagra. The old men who had long lost their

sexual vigor would ingest these pills and be entertained by young sex partners for the hours their
medically acquired erections would last.
And the President has latched onto you since that night, I said. How fortunate but then, the
other name for the Blue Party is called 'Gold Diggers Paradise'.
I pulled him by his tie toward me as I reclined back. Show me what you did for him that night, I
said, pushing him toward the erection straining in my zippered pants. Seduce me the same way.
He undid the buckle of my belt first and then the button of my fly. He pulled the zipper down with
his teeth and licked at the shape of my cock through my underwear, wetting the fabric.
What would you say if Id used you the same way, I asked, pulling my cock out through the side of
my underwear and pressing it against his lower lip. That I would have you do these sex parties with
potential clients.
His expression didnt change. He licked the tip of my cock, his tongue sweeping across the slit over
and over again.
You can do whatever you want with me, he finally said. You helped me achieve my only
purpose in life.
I gave him a lop-sided smile and petted him on the head. Nice answer, I said. Somehow, I dont
believe you.
Its good to be cautious, he said and took my shaft into his mouth; swallowing it little by little
until the entire length was down his throat. He was expectedly good had to be, perhaps, to
captivate an old man who could have as many toys as he wanted.
Youve no idea into what kind of den youve thrown yourself, little lamb, I said to him.
He giggled, breaking his control for a moment and then continued to service me.

Chapter 4

Since your American name was a fake, I said to him over dinner, whats your real name?
We had been served pasta and salmon and spoke as the butler poured red wine into our glasses.
Kousaka Kagura. I took my mothers surname. he said.
He thanked the butler after he finished pouring. The butler excused himself and left, and then we
were alone in the dining room of the mansion I had rented in Ginza.
Using my fathers name would have beendangerous.
It doesnt take that many more resources for the yakuza to find the records of his marriage and to
make deductions.
I wasnt legit, he said, twirling some pasta onto the spoon. My mother wasnt married to him.
My birth certificate probably had a male friend of hers listed as the father.
Then why do you care about him?
Hes still my father, he said. And although we werent connected to his wealth or name, he still
provided for us. I was put through good schools and was given nice things. I had a good life.
He ate the pasta, chewing slowly.
And what you did, you did on his orders?
No, I did it on my own, he said, and took a sip from the wine glass. After my mother told me
what happened, she told me to stay in America. I was actually living on Long Island, studying at Stony
Brook then. If the yakuza were to go through fathers financial records, they might figure out that he
had me. So before I came back, I had to fabricate another identity and history in case someone was
waiting for Kousaka Kagura to return.
And you have absolutely no fear they might come and collect you now?
He speared a piece of the salmon and nibbled it. Its been over four years, he said. The main
connection to S.D.I. has gone bankrupt. Im pretty sure theyve cut their losses and moved on. There
was a smile on his face as he pushed the food around his plate.
You benefitted greatly from the fall of the giant, he continued, and now youre about to buy the
very company that you betrayed and start your own little empire?

Did you want thanks? I asked, returning his smile. I would have benefitted whether or not I let
you drop the axe.
True, he said thoughtfully. And thats why I came back to you. Because you let me do as I
wanted, I benefitted as well.
He reached into his coat pocket, took out a card and slid it onto the table between us. It was the
business card that I had given him, bearing the name of the company that no longer existed.
What people sometimes call chivalry, I consider lack of survival instinct. Did you think Id treat
you nice just because you were willing this time?
I didnt come back wanting to be your wife. I came back to settle a debt.
I laughed out loud at his amusing analogy. He only continued to eat his dinner, watching me laugh.
You are so cute, I said. So much cuter than I remember. Ill have so much fun with you.
He said nothing, wearing a small, knowing smile as he ate.

I fucked him hard that night, our first night together after two years. When I got tired, I shoved a
vibrator in him. He didnt utter a single word of complaint or refusal, even after hours had passed and
I knew he had to be hurting. He was obedient, so unlike the person I had tortured and raped that long
ago day. I was uncertain if I liked him to be so tame it felt like the fun of training him had been
taken from me.
I allowed him to sleep when the dawn finally broke. I was tired but I also had important meetings to
tend to. I showered and left, instructing the butler to call me if Kagura tried to leave. If he did, I had
left intstructions for the mansion staff to restrain him in any way they had to.
My phone was quiet all day.
When I came back, the butler said Kagura had slept through most of the day, waking only once to
have a shower and a meal before returning to bed. He was still asleep when I walked into the
bedroom.
I undressed and slipped into bed with him. He woke, but he was still sleepy as he said my name.
Still hurts, he said, when I pulled the sheet off him. There were bruises in random places on his
body. Some I could remember giving him when I bit him or when my fingers pinched too hard. Most I
didnt. He probably had the kind of delicate skin that showed bruises easily.

I cant get to sleep until my days stress has been relieved, I said.
His eyes became bigger, more alert. He rolled over and pushed himself up to crawl over and
straddle me.
Will you forgive me tonight and allow me to use just my mouth? he asked. It had been awhile
and last nightreally hurt.
I will let you off tonight, I said, and pinched one of his nipples lightly. Only because youve
asked so nicely.
Thank you, he said, and moved between my legs to suck me.
In the dimly lit room, with just the light spilling in from the city lights outside, I could only see his
silhouette. The dark outline moved ever so slightly with the wet sound.
Shohei will take you shopping tomorrow, I told him as my fingers combed through his hair. Buy
some nice clothes and jewelry, since youll be the companys new private receptionist starting next
week.
He made a sound that could have been a moan from his throat or an acknowledgement. I couldnt
see his face.
Please do take care of my clients with this kind of enthusiasm, Kagura?
He took his mouth off the shaft and raked his teeth along the crown.
If you take care of me and indulge me, Ill do anything you want me to do for you.
Is that a confession?
Its whatever you want it to be, Sakiyama-san, he said and continued to lick in long strokes. Ill
even tell you I love you if you want me to say it.
Cheeky little bastard, I said and tightened my fingers in his hair, balling my hand into a fist. Do
you think youre up to playing games on my level?
I pulled him up toward me. When his face partially emerged from the shadow, he didnt look angry.
Instead, he wore his usual smile.
No games, he said. I will do anything to help you succeed.
After he spoke, the smile disappeared from his face. His stare was intense, as if he were trying to
pierce through me. For a fleeting moment, I felt uncomfortable. My grip loosened in his hair and his
body relaxed. He lay down, the side of his face pressed against my chest
I had nothing to say. His words were sweet and said with unflinching sincerity, yet somehow, I

couldnt find comfort in them. Perhaps I hadnt expected them. Or perhaps deep inside, I knew they
were a lie.
Whatever the truth was, I savored the words. I might have been more ruthless than those old men
who loved him, but I wasnt that much stronger.

Chapter 5

Shohei Yamaoto let himself into the idling limo to slide into the seat next to Sakiyama. The limo
pulled away from the building that bore a gold police shield over its main entrance way.
Kousaka Kagura exists, sort of, Yamaoto said as he removed a manila folder from his jacket and
placed it on a small tray table that had been pulled out. He was born in Kyoto, but there are gaps in
the paper trail after that.
His fathers doing? Sakiyama asked. He looked at the envelope but made no move to open it.
Instead, he reached into his jacket, pulled out a pack of cigarettes and tapped one out.
Very likely, Yamaoto said, lighting Sakiyamas cigarette with his lighter. He clicked it shut and
slipped it back into his pocket as Sakiyama took a deep drag and let it out.
There was a flurry of financial activities that went on two months before S.D.I. was acquired. The
old man borrowed even more money from the Kanizawa Group then likely paying a lot of people
off to erase his familys history. Then when the time came, the old man took the debt with him.
Kanizawa couldnt collect from people that didnt exist.
Could anything be traced to him or his mother?
Theres not much of a record to speak of. Yamaoto paused. And whatever does exist, I would
question its authenticity. So much of anything remotely connected to the old man has been messed with
hard to say what isnt a fabrication.
Oh?
My contact in the department theorized there were several pros that worked the paper trails. There
are possibilities of validating some information through eyewitnesses neighbors, school mates
but without an actual lead, its a very long and tedious process.
I see. Sakiyama rolled down the window a few inches and blew smoke out. A finger tapped the
envelope.
May I offer you my suggestion, sir?
Sakiyama glanced over. The hint of concern in the usually stoic face of his bodyguard already told
Sakiyama what he was about to say.
I think it is best if you get rid of him.
Do you think hes capable of doing something to me? Sakiyama asked with a smile. He flicked the

ashen tip of his cigarette into a tumbler that still held whiskey and chipped ice.
Isnt it odd for him to come back after what happened? He was thought to be harmless three years
ago and....
He was never harmless, Sakiyama said. And that is why I like playing with him.
Sir...?
When I tire of him or when he no longer serves a purpose, Ill make a goodwill gift of him to the
Kanizawa Group. For now, hes young and pretty and a nice negotiation incentive for our clients.
Thats all he is.
I am not certain if youre cruel or foolish to do that.
Sakiyama laughed. Dont spoil my fun, Shohei. Ive not had a pet since I was a boy.
This pet destroyed a multi-billion dollar corporation. Hardly a chewed slipper.
Makes him even more exciting to own, no?

The limo rolled down the ramp and into the underground garage. Sakiyama dropped the last of his
cigarette into the tumbler and left it on top of the envelope. The door on his side opened, the driver
gave him a bow from the waist and remained bowed as he got out.
Straightening, the driver walked a few feet away and pressed the elevator button. The doors opened
instantly. His finger remained on the button, holding the door, until Sakiyama and Yamaoto stepped
inside.
Hes supposed to be entertaining Otori-san right now, Sakiyama said as he looked at his watch.
If Otori-sans still the same as he was...then youll probably have to take him home.
Yamaoto pressed a button on the panel and the door closed. The small compartment swiftly pulled
them up toward the top floor.
Youre unconcerned your clients might break your toy?
Hes resilient. He wont break so easily.
The elevator coasted to a stop.
Ill have Otori-san finish up so we can proceed with the meeting, Sakiyama said as the doors
opened. He should be in an agreeable mood.
Of course, sir,

Kaguras former office had been converted back into a reception room again. The antiques that had
been there were replaced with a modern motif in dark colors. The only thing that remained as it had
been was the sectional sofa that squared around the panoramic widows. It was the same creamcolored leather that had been there two years ago and the only piece of furniture on the entire floor
hed kept.
And now Kagura was kneeling in front of it, between Otoris thighs. His wrists were tied with a
belt, so tightly that his fingertips were pale. He was naked, his clothing torn and strewn in a
haphazard trail. There was a vase on the end table that had been knocked over, its once carefully
arranged flowers scattered, water dripping onto the expensive rug.
Kagura was swallowing Otoris cock, taking it deep into his throat. A bright pink vibrator shoved
half-way up Kagura, writhed slowly.
Sakiyama took a seat next to Otori. He frowned when he noticed a purpling bruise on Kaguras right
cheek. Otori-san, you have to be more careful with my things, Sakiyama said, brushing damp locks
of hair back from Kaguras face for a closer look at the injury. I cant use him when you mess up his
face.
Otori laughed and tightened his fist in Kaguras hair, shoving himself further down Kaguras throat.
As long as hes got a nice mouth on both ends, a little bruise wont make a difference.
Otori let out a groan and stilled. A few moments passed before he loosened his grip in Kaguras
hair and pulled his wet, flaccid cock from his mouth. There was a smile on his face as Otori wiped
himself off with Kaguras torn shirt.
Well play more next time, baby, Otori said as he stood up and tucked himself in. Ill bring you
nicer toys.
Ill be there in five minutes, Sakiyama said, leaning forward and untying the belt from Kaguras
wrists. There were reddish marks where the belt had been.
Otori gave them a wave and left.
Been three months already, Sakiyama said, pressing the moving vibrator further in. Kagura
cringed. Still not used to it?
I am not used to being hit when I did nothing wrong.
Otori-sans got interesting hobbies, Sakiyama said, pulling the vibrator out and leaving it twisting
on the floor. I suppose youve earned a couple of days off.
Really?

Cant use you when theres a hideous bruise on your face. Take a shower. Shohei will take you
home.
Kagura snatched Sakiyamas wrist, holding it.
May...may I go home on my own?
You know you are not allowed to be anywhere unescorted.
I just want to walk through the streets and take a taxi home. I wont do anything!
Just a walk?
For months, Ive only seen this room and the mansion...I just want to....
Sakiyama leaned back, pulling his wrist from Kaguras hands. He stood, straightened his suit, then
looked down at Kagura and grimaced.
Three hours, he said, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone. He dropped it onto the sofa
where Otori had been sitting. You will pick up the phone immediately when I call.
The wallet came out next. Sakiyama fished out a few large bills and tossed them next to the phone,
scattering them.
You have a party to attend this weekend. Buy something nice to wear, Sakiyama said, a lop-sided
smile appearing on his face. I like my women to look nice.
Kagura nodded. He made no effort to hide his irritation at the remark. Sakiyamas smile only
widened.
Be back by five, or youll be sporting considerably worse things than that little bruise on your
cheek. With these words, Sakiyama left.

Kaguras hair was still damp when he got into the elevator and pressed the button for the second
floor. Sakiyamas cell phone was in his pocket and he looked at it often, checking the time. He had
perhaps two and half hours by the time he stepped out of the elevator and into the security office. The
young man behind the desk was shocked to see him.
Are you all right, Edmonton-san?
Kagura touched his bruised cheek and smiled.
I was clumsy this morning when I was moving supplies, he said, reading the blue name tag pinned

over one pocket. Some books fell from the shelf and hit me. Thank you for your concern, Higashinosan.
Higashinos worried look eased into a smile. As long as you are okay.
I am, physically. But I am afraid I must trouble you for something else...I need a keycard for the
private garage.
Higashinos eyebrows knitted together and the worried look came back.
I didnt bring my own keycard in and hes in a meeting. Hed be very angry with me if he knew Id
forgotten something that basic.
Higashino scratched his head, flustered.
I just need the card key for one round trip use, Kagura said, leaning in closer and softening his
voice. Hes sent me on an errand but the cars parked in the private garage.
Kagura reached out and took one of Higashinos hands into both of his, holding it tightly. You're
the only one who can help me.
But....
Please... Kagura said. I have to finish by five or hell be furious with me. Sakiyama-san has a
terrible temper."
Higashino nodded and pulled his hand back reluctantly. Ill make you a visitors key, but you have
to promise not to report me.
I wouldnt, Kagura said sweetly. I wouldnt want to be found out either. Delete the data
associated with this key after you make it? This will be our little secret.
Higashinos face turned a darker shade of red as he nodded and situated himself at one of the
computers on the desks in the back row.

Kagura left the building through the main entrance, hurrying as he did so. He looked at the cellphone
again. Less than two hours. He walked toward the sidewalk caf where he and Sakiyama had met.
Once he stepped inside, he walked up to the counter and said a name. The man gestured and led him
into the back. They stopped in front of a closed door that said Manager on it.
Morinaga-san? Someone to see you.
There were sounds of furniture being moved and shuffling before the door opened. A tall man that

looked annoyed opened the door. The displeased look went away quickly, replaced by a smile as
soon as he saw Kagura. Thank you, Morinaga said, gesturing Kagura into his office. You may go.
As soon as the door shut, Morinagas smile was replaced by a scowl. Where the hell were you?
he asked, cupping Kaguras chin to turn his face to the side, studying the bruise. Ran off with another
man? Did he do this to you?
Kagura slipped his arms around Morinaga. I told you Id be gone for a while, and I told you Id
come back to you when I had taken care of what I needed to take care of.
Did you take care of it?
Not yet, but Ill finish soon.
What is it youre doing? Morinaga demanded, tightening his embrace. Tell me and Ill help
you.
Ill tell you one day, Kagura said, pushing himself away. Today, I dont have very much time.
You're leaving again?
Not for very long, and Ill come back to you, I promise. Kagura reached into his pocket and
pulled out the white card with a magnetic strip on the back. In two or three days, Ill come for this
card. Hold it for me.
Morinaga took the card, studying it. There wasnt a logo on it. What is...?
Will you do what I ask? Kagura asked softly. Its very important. I promise Ill tell you
everything and well be together.
Morinaga palmed the card and nodded. You know I'll do anything for you.
Kagura smiled, planting a kiss on Morinagas mouth.
I know you will. Thats why I love you. Kaguras voice dropped into a whisper. Why dont you
get a condom? Ill wait here.
Are you sure? You usually dont like to
Kagura pressed a hand over Morinagas mouth. I missed you and would like to feel you again. Are
you saying you dont want to?
Morinaga shook his head.
Then go to the convenience store now. Come back soon; I also have a schedule to keep, Morinagasan.

Morinaga searched the pockets of his coat hanging in the closet, pulling his wallet out. He gave
Kagura another smile and a quick kiss before he left. As soon as the door closed, Kagura took a seat
at Morinagas desk and logged onto the computer.

Chapter 6

DAY 003
He churned the ice coffee with its straw. Swirling the ice noisily against the sides of the cup, he
stared at the tip of a skyscraper that almost disappeared among other taller buildings. To catch a
glimpse of it, he had gone up to the fourth floor coffee shop of a department store.
How nostalgic....
He smiled and took a sip of the coffee. He hadnt noticed that someone had slipped into the empty
seat beside him.
Just come to town? the man asked and nodded at the carry-on luggage tucked under the small table
between them.
A glance at the expensively colored and styled hair, the ample jewelry and formal clothing told him
the man was probably a host. He found himself smiling at him. Observant, he said. Just got off
work from the Club?
The man laughed. Observant, he repeated. But then, not many people dress like this at nine in the
morning.
Or at any other time, he said and took off his glasses. Dont hustle me. Im not interested in
spending money on you.
The mans grin widened. Just the opposite. You have somewhere to go? Besides a hotel?
What makes you think I'm homeless?
Because youre here, sipping ice coffee at nine in the morning with your luggage, the host said,
leaning forward. His voice dropped to a whisper. May I ask your name?
He twirled one stem of his glasses between the pads of his fingers, his smile remaining. He studied
the host carefully, as if he were trying to decide the most important thing in the world.
My name is Tsurugi Tomoya, the host said after a brief silence. An eyebrow arched upwards with
expectation.
Kousaka. Kousaka Kagura, he finally answered, slipping his silver framed glasses back on. Are
you planning to take care of me for the duration of my stay in Japan?
I will do what you like, Kousaka-san, Tsurugi said, edging closer until his arm brushed against

Kaguras.
Well go to your place, Kagura said.
Tsurugis eyes widened.
After I make a stop somewhere first.
Certainly.
You are very trusting of strangers, Tsurugi-san. Are you certain I wont hurt you?
If it is you, I dont mind.
Kagura laughed and ran a hand along Tsurugis thigh. As if he had touched electricity, Tsurugi
jolted and nearly pulled away.
Shouldnt do that in public, Tsurugi said. Its very difficult to deal with physical reactions....
He stood, straightening his outfit before he bent down to pick up Kaguras luggage. Lets get going, I
dont think I can wait very long.

Kagura stepped out of the cab and onto the sidewalk. He took in the busy surroundings before he
took off his glasses. There was a pronounced frown on his face when he glanced over at the
skyscraper he had been watching. Now it was a short distance away and in full view, its tinted glass
reflecting the sunlight like a dark blue prism. He placed his glasses in the pocket of his wool coat and
walked toward the caf.
He took a seat in a booth by the window with a full view of the skyscraper. The cab that had
brought him idled by the curb, waiting. When the waiter came he asked for Morinaga instead of a
drink. The waiter appeared to be confused at first before he excused himself, scurrying off to the back
of the shop.
Morinaga appeared moments later, dressed in his usual long sleeved shirt with the cafs logo
embroidered over the left pocket, tucked into a pair of dark slacks. He slid into the booth, giving his
visitor a brilliant smile as he did so.
You came back, Kagura-kun, Morinaga said.
I said I would.
You came for...that?
He nodded.

Morinaga plucked his wallet from his pocket and fanned it open. The smile on his face diminished
as he pulled out the indistinct white card among his other cards. Why cant you tell me anything?
You dont trust me completely yet?
Kagura held out one hand, palm up, waiting until Morinaga placed the card in it.
Its not about trust, Kagura said. Its about protecting you and me.
Are you doing something dangerous?
Its not, if done as planned. If I know youre aware of it, I wont be able to concentrate and Ill
make mistakes. Then it will be dangerous. I dont want you to be involved if it goes wrong.
I'm not understanding this.
Kagura slipped the card into his coat pocket and looked around the cafe. Customers were sparse at
this time the lull between morning rush and right before lunch in a business district.
I know it is unfair to ask you to trust me if you love me, but that is all I have, Kagura said as he
got out of the booth and stood up. He straightened his coat and brushed the wrinkles from his sleeves.
I will leave you now for the last time. When we see each other again, well be together.
Morinaga opened his mouth to speak. Instead, Kagura bent down and kissed him, slipping his tongue
into Morinagas mouth. The kiss was so quick and sudden that Morinaga wasnt able to reciprocate.
Thank you, Kagura said.
Morinaga stared as Kagura stepped out of the shop and into the back of the waiting cab. There was
someone else in the cab with him. From where he was, Morinaga could only make out a silhouette.
Before the taxi pulled away, the silhouette leaned over and kissed Kagura.
It was that moment that he knew, in the way that hed always known, that he would never see
Kagura again.

Chapter 7

Day 000
Kagura wore his smile when he stepped out of the private elevator. His fingers trembled. He had
been anxious since Yamaoto had fetched him three hours ago from the mansion and delivered him to
the executive floor in time to greet the guests.
They are finished with dinner and are now in the reception area, Yamaoto said to him. Three
guests.
Kagura followed, one hand wringing the other to stop it from shaking. They stopped at one of the
doors. Boisterous voices and laughter could be heard through the closed door.
Didnt expect you to be nervous, Yamaoto said, looking at Kaguras hands.
Its nothing, Kagura said. Ive just not done one of these things in a long time and I dont like
doing them.
Yamaoto only laughed. Kaguras face flushed.
Then are you happy to know Ill stay in the room? Yamaoto said. Not to worry, I wont
participate. Sakiyama-san wants me to make sure the men dont render you unserviceable.
Are you sure youve not volunteered because youre a pervert?
Maybe I am, Yamaoto said. One hand rested on the brass handle. Gotten your bearings yet?
A nod answered him and Yamaoto opened the door.

The reception room was one of seven on the floor. With the exception of the colors of the furniture,
each one was relatively the same. A c-shaped sectional leather sofa that had been made in Belgium
was centered on an area rug imported from Turkey. The three chandeliers that lit the room were from
the Netherlands. The wet bar to the side of the room was handmade by a craftsman in Germany. On
display on a two-step platform near the window was an antique marble Archangel statue purchased
from a museum in Venice. The one in this particular room was an expensive copy of Uriel. Kagura
smiled wryly at its presence.
The Angel of Repentance.

Sakiyama said his name when Kagura didnt move nor acknowledge the men that looked at him
when he came in. Kagura heard him when he spoke louder.
He apologized as he made his way toward Sakiyama and the man he was speaking to, an old man
with a few scars marring his face made even more pronounced by his aged, rough skin. He was
dressed well in an expensive imported suit. Kagura extended his hand. The mans handshake was
firm, aggressive.
This is Kanizawa-san of the Kanizawa group, Sakiyama said in an oddly gentle tone. Have you
heard of the company?
Kagura kept his composure, his smile unflinching as he shook Kanizawas hand and released it
casually.
Of course I have, he said. I'm very pleased to have finally met you, Kanizawa-san.
The solemn face was suddenly smiling. Oh? I am curious how a young man like yourself would
have come to hear a name like mine.
Sakiyama-san often speaks of you, Kagura said.
Sakiyama laughed and ran the back of his hand along Kaguras cheek. I do, Sakiyama said. After
all, you are one of my favorites, right?
Kagura placed his hand atop Sakiyamas and leaned into it.
And Ill be certain to show Kanizawa-san why I am.
Beautifully said, Sakiyama said, pressing a kiss on Kaguras forehead. The guests took the pills
almost half an hour ago. Why dont you start by making them comfortable?
Only a slight nod answered him. Sakiyama placed a hand on Kanizawas shoulder and squeezed it.
Have a good night.
You're not going to join us? Kanizawa asked.
Kagura moved to stand behind the old man and looped his arms around him. His fingers worked to
unbutton the jacket.
Not at this particular party, Sakiyama said. Ill be in another room down the hall.
I see, Kanizawa said, his attention already diverted as Kagura slipped his jacket off. He didnt
even notice that Sakiyama had walked away when he pulled Kagura around to kiss him.
If you are a very good boy, I can promise you nice things....
The tongue that slipped into his mouth tasted of bourbon and cigars. Kagura briefly wondered if it

would be strong enough to mask everything else he hoped so.

I'm always a good boy, Kagura said, flinching at the words he was willing himself to say. No
matter how often he said those lines, it always made him cringe when he heard himself say them.
What will you give me?
A hand gripped his wrist and expectedly brought it down to Kanizawas crotch. The clichd
absurdness of it nearly made Kagura laugh. He grabbed a handful. The erection wasnt yet there, but
the flesh that he could feel was already intimidating.
So you pack a Magnum, eh? Yakuza-san?
Kagura did laugh out-loud then just like a line in bad porn.
Whats so funny? Kanizawa asked, pulling Kagura so close that their bodies were pinned against
each other.
Not funny, Kagura said. I'm just very happy to have new toys to play with.
Really? Kanizawa said. I'm glad to hear how enthusiastic you are.
Hey, Kanizawa-san, how about sharing some of that enthusiasm with us?
Kanizawas voice, a little rough and disgruntled, made them both look at its speaker. Youve got
all night, Oki-san.
Near the doorway and out of the way, Yamaoto stood with his arms crossed. Two men, their dinner
jackets shed, sat on the leather sofa, nursing their drinks. The one called Oki had reclined back
completely, his feet on the glass cocktail table. With Sakiyama and the hostess who had served the
drinks gone, the room felt bigger. Intimidating.
Bring him here. We should do our duty first and make him feel good and cum for us beforeOki
laughed, unable to finish the sentence. He downed the rest of his drink and left the empty tumbler on
the table.
I really dont need to, Kagura said, allowing Kanizawa to undress him as he spoke. Please, I am
here for you.
His tie was loosened and the three top buttons of his shirt were undone. Kanizawas movements
were more impatient as he fumbled with Kaguras belt and pants. Kagura felt ridiculous, even more
so as his pants dropped and pooled around his ankles shown off like a dog before a sale. After
removing his shoes and socks, he was walked toward the sofa. Hands pulled at him as soon as he
came within their reach.
You smell so good, Kagura-kun.... one of them said into his ear and a wet tongue followed,
tracing the slope of his ear lobe.

It was uncomfortable to be pressed against the sofa, hands kneading him with the kind of clumsiness
that forgot to be gentle. They were rough, in spite of the promise of pleasuring him. Kagura writhed
beneath them, bearing with the discomfort while trying to gain some semblance of control over the
eager men. He pushed back finally, when one of them bit him on the shoulder.
Dont be so rough, he said, holding his shoulder. I wasnt going to resist you.
The men laughed. Kagura glanced up at Yamaoto, who only returned his indignant look with a grin.
You look prettier with such an angry blush on your face, Kanizawa said, his fingers back on
Kagura again this time undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt. We were just teasing.
Kagura forced a smile back on his face, grinding his teeth as he did so.
Sit back, Kagura-kun, Oki said as he stood up. Ive got a nice present for you.
Oki fetched a black leather briefcase that had been leaning against one of the sofas. He hoisted it
onto the glass end table and clicked the latches open. Kagura glanced in, took a deep breath and held
it. There were several kinds of sex toys with wires and controllers, their colors cheerful and bright.
There were different shapes of vibrators with odd attachments.
Looks like you came prepared to play hard, Oki-san.
The men laughed again. The case shut and it almost made Kagura feel better.
Not yet, Oki said, pulling over a small red velvet bag tied closed with a black silk ribbon. There
really is a present for our pretty host.
The ribbon was loosened and the bag tipped so that a string of gray-silver pearls spilled out, caught
in Okis hand.
Something I picked up when I was in Hawaii last week, he said, pulling it up to show Kagura the
length of it. Tahitian...itll look nice against your skin.
He lowered the strand until it brushed against Kaguras thigh. The pearls felt cold.
Didnt think you were the romantic type, Oki-san. Your wife always complains about how you
dont even remember to bring home flowers on your wedding anniversary.
Oki laughed and knelt down between Kaguras thighs.
I would remember if my wife looked half as pretty as Kagura-kun, Mita-san, Oki said. Spread
him open, lets see how beautiful Kagura-kun looks wearing this.
Kagura fought his initial instincts and remained still, allowing Kanizawa and Mita to splay him
open. Although it wasnt new to him, to be opened up in such a shameful manner and played with it
wasnt something he ever got used to. His face flushed when Oki pushed a wet finger into him.

Nervous, Kagura-kun? Oki asked, twisting his finger and worming it in slowly. You are so
tight.
Ill...be fine...Oki-san....
Good boy, Oki said. Ill be very kind to you.
Another finger joined the first and this time it made Kagura cry out. He could feel Okis blunt,
squared fingernail scrape against him inside. It hurt.
Im sorry, Kagura-kun, Oki said, reading the pain in Kaguras face. Ill make it better.
The fingers left and were replaced with a tongue. The wet sliver was insistent, pushing its tip into
him. Kagura couldnt help but cringe at the sensation.
I am starting to feel it, Kanizawa said, pressing Kaguras hand over his bulge again. It was
becoming hard. I cant wait to put this inside you.
Mita guided Kaguras hand to his own crotch. It was still soft but Mitas excited breathing was
becoming louder and deeper.
Why dont you help it, Kagura? Kanizawa asked, pulling down his zipper, not even bothering
with his belt and pants button. Its been awhile. Itll need your lovely mouths full assistance.
It was uncomfortable to be pulled to one side from his waist up. Kanizawas half-hard cock was
pulled out through his lowered zipper and pushed into Kaguras mouth. Kanizawa let out a loud sigh
and knelt up on the couch to push himself further in. It reached in far enough to touch the back of
Kaguras throat.
Taste good? Kanizawa asked breathily as he thrust in and out slowly. I can tell why you are
Sakiyamas favorite.
Be careful of his teeth, Kanizawa-san, Oki said, wiping at the corners of his mouth with the back
of his hand. I am going to put it in.
Kagura closed his eyes, anticipating. Then it came. It was barely felt at first. A sensation that felt
like a fingertip being slipped into him and pulled out quickly. Then another. And another. Gradually,
he could feel the fullness building rapidly as more pearls were pressed into him. The pressure rose
until he could feel it in his belly, up to his chest and then in his throat. The pain was dull, aching. He
felt sick.
Such a good boy...you are eating so obediently, Oki said, pausing to run his hands along Kaguras
stretched-open thighs that had started to quiver. Just a little more.
Peripherally, he could see Mita sliding off the couch and leaning toward the black briefcase. He
couldnt see what it was Mita pulled out, but it made the men laugh approvingly when it was shown to
them.

He squeezed his eyes shut, a tear rolling out from a corner. He felt it track down his cheek, the
droplet hanging on his chin. He stifled a scream that rose from the pit of his stomach when the rest of
the beads were pressed into him hastily.
Does it hurt, Kagura-kun? Oki said. Dont cry...itll feel really good soon. I promise.

Chapter 8

Day 000
Sakiyama-san?
The voice was soft, but Sakiyama heard it through the womans moans. His thrusting slowed to a
stop when he saw him. Sakiyama was confused at first, but when Kagura stepped further into the
room, wet from head to toe, clad only in a white dress shirt two sizes too big, he smiled. There was a
rosy flush on Kaguras face and body; he was still aroused.
They werent enough, Kagura said, as he took a couple of steps into the room. Please?
Are they all done with you already? Sakiyama asked, extending a hand.
Yes. I want more, Kagura said, stepping gingerly into the room as if in a daze.
Come here.
Kagura slipped the shirt off, letting it pool on the floor. The woman who had been lying beneath
Sakiyama rose to her knees and crawled over to situate herself between Sakiyamas thighs. She
seemed oblivious to Kaguras presence, even as the bed dipped with the new weight. Kagura knelt to
the side, curling his tongue around Sakiyamas cock with hers.

Vaguely, Sakiyama noticed the time displayed on his watch on the nightstand. It had been nearly an
hour since Kagura had joined them. Now, both of them nestled up next to him, sleepy.
Dont fall asleep yet, Sakiyama said, nudging them both.
For a few moments, neither Kagura nor the woman moved, then she stirred. Her eyes were halflidded as she pulled herself up and off the bed, barely willing her feet to move her into the bathroom.
Kagura didnt move until the sound of water running came through the open bathroom door.
Ill go too, Kagura said and picked up his shirt.
He slipped it on but didnt bother buttoning it. I should go back and check on the old men, Kagura
said, but then moved to straddle Sakiyama again, his knees on either side of his hips.
Sakiyama rubbed Kaguras thighs.
Saying one thing and doing another, Sakiyama said. Arent you satisfied yet?

No, Kagura said and bent over to kiss Sakiyama. I suppose there are some things that cant just
be fucked out of me.
The kiss was gentle at first. Then deeper. Harder. Kaguras teeth grazed Sakiyamas tongue, then bit
it, teeth sinking down just enough to hurt.
When he felt something cold moving against his chest, it didnt occur to Sakiyama what it was.
When their kiss parted, all he saw was a sliver of silver come down. The sudden impact was jarring;
he couldnt even make a sound. He instantly knew the reason when his hands shot up to his throat,
where the spoke-like thing pierced him. The single stab wound hadnt hurt as much as it hurt not being
able to breathe. He could feel it warm blood seeping out from a hole between his fingers.
Then he focused on Kagura and the pen-length spike in his hand stained bright red with blood.
There was a smile on Kaguras face as he wiped the bloodied thing on the sheet.
I wish I could do more to you after what youve done to me, Kagura said, slipping the spike back
into the inside-lining of his shirt. He leaned over Sakiyama, planting a bloody hand overhead on the
headboard. I wish I could rip you apart like that too.
Sakiyama opened his mouth to speak, but only stifled gasps came. His hand, damp with blood,
seized a handful of Kaguras shirt, his fist clenching tightly.
I think it might have been different if you hadnt been taken by your filthy lust, Kagura said,
wrenching Sakiyamas grip off his shirt easily. He held the hand in both of his. You have the kind of
cruelty I admire and despise. I think I might have really fallen for you if it had been me sharing your
bed in the past three months.
Kagura planted a kiss on Sakiyamas wrist.
Regardless, now the duty to fathers truly complete, Kagura said and placed Sakiyamas hand
down carefully. He stood, smoothed out the rumpled bed sheet as best as he could, then pulled it up to
Sakiyamas waist. He only laughed softly when Sakiyama looked at him with sudden comprehension.
You didnt think we could allow the last quarter of the snake to continue to live and sprout a new
body, do you? Then what I did two years ago would have been meaningless.
Sakiyama struggled to get up. He started to choke on the blood that was filling up his throat. He was
drowning in his own blood.
You should have used some of your money to investigate our father and his family a little more,
Kagura said, sitting down on a clean spot on the bed. He smoothed Sakiyamas hair gently, his fingers
raking back the stray locks. But I am glad that youre a whore to your perverted needs, or else this
would have been difficult to pull off.
He ran a fingertip across Sakiyamas upper lip, tracing the shape of it. The smile was gone. He
looked sad as he stroked the dark hair. I dont expect you to forgive me but I forgive you, he said as
he leaned down and kissed Sakiyama on his forehead. Goodbye, Sakiyama Sho.

With Sakiyamas eyes still staring up at Kagura, his movements slowed to a stop.

Chapter 9

Of course Edmontons DNA would be on him, they were fucking. It doesnt prove he was there
when it happened. And the unknown DNA profile is useless until we have someone to go with it,
Ishigami said as he tossed the papers onto the table, scattering them. It just confirms someone else
was there that only the deceased knew.
The room became quiet. Ishigami pulled out a chair and sat down. The man whod delivered the
report gathered the papers quietly as Ishigamis partner looked at him apologetically.
What about the prints? Ishigami said, chewing on the unlit cigar vigorously to compensate for his
irritation. The perfect bloody palm print on the headboard that was left there like a big damn present.
Bet its not going to be Edmontons.
Its not anyone's in the database, the man said, and it isnt his. It didnt match anyones on that
floor.
Course not, Ishigami said. The person left the print to make sure wed know theyre not anyone
we have.
Why are you so convinced by the womans story? Kitamori asked, rolling back his chair so he
could put his feet up on the desk. Its very improbable that Edmonton came, had a threesome for
nearly an hour and then returned to patiently waiting men with medically induced erections.
I know shes not lying and he knows shes not lying.
It doesnt matter, Kitamori said. Dont have a thing on him, unless he can defy physics. We dont
have a weapon, not even a theory on how this phantom killer came and went. The men he happened to
be fucking that night were important people. I doubt the Commissioner will even let details of that
party come to light. Cant get any better alibis than that.
Aint that the shit, eh? Ishigami said and spat out the end of the cigar he had chewed through. But
doesnt it make you curious, Kitamori-san?"
What about?
An interesting enigma, Ishigami said. The woman said it was someone with Edmontons face,
but we can only find traces of someone else. It also has to be someone Sakiyama knows...a guy like
that wouldnt let his guard down to strangers. There were no defense wounds.
Sakiyamas also in the habit of bringing different partners to bed. Its difficult to be on guard while
ones basking in the afterglow, Kitamori said and stretched lazily. Dunno. I know my brain will
soon crawl out of my right ear if I think about it anymore.

Among the first to be eliminated as the assailant was a Japanese native with no paper trail except
for a damn birth certificate. Theres not even a trace of the paperwork that shows he renounced his
citizenship. Yet, here he is with an American passport when hes supposed to be just studying there.
Probably has a very well off and very generous American sponsor. Hes a good looking kid.
Then why would he give that up and come back to Japan to be a whore?
He told you why.
Cant buy the money angle because he wasnt being paid. Love cant be it, since he certainly
wasnt too heartbroken by the murder.
He didnt say either of those things, Kitamori said, pillowing the back of his head with his
interlocked fingers and looking up at the ceiling. He was bored.
Give me a goddamn break! I just felt like being with him?
Not that much of a stretch to think someone like that simply likes sex with influential men. Kind of
empowering if you think about it. And being a millionaires kept man is not too bad, either. I think
youre over-crediting the single witness whose story didnt match that of anyone else, Kitamori said.
We just know Edmonton couldnt have done it.
Youre right; he couldnt have. I dismissed him as a suspect from the start. The person who did it
had long left the building by the time we got there. The executive elevator was on the underground
parking level. It should have been upstairs after delivering the guests to that floor for the party.
Do you have a theory about who it could be?
That I do, Ishigami said. But its unfortunate that we will never be able to prove it.

Kagura pulled his wool coat tighter against him as he stood outside the police building. He looked
up at the gold police shield that was mounted atop the stone archway over the main doors. Letting out
a sigh, he steeled himself to go in.
He had expected to be led to the interview room again the bright, sparse room surrounded by
mirrored glass. Instead, he was shown the way to Ishigamis office by a young man with a badge
pinned to his coat pocket. Gazes met his as he was led through open cubicles where plain clothes
police officers sat hunched over, writing their reports with pens or reading stacks of papers. Most of
them smoked as they worked. The place stank of stale cigarettes.
Ishigamis office was at the end. The title of Senior Investigator stenciled on the glass door was
chipped. Oddly, Ishigami didnt look as old as Kagura had assumed he should be. His hair hadnt

grayed yet and he still looked healthy, in spite of the detectives curious habit of gnawing on an unlit
cigar at one corner of his mouth.
Oral fixation. Cant chew a cigarette butt, Ishigami had told him once, after hed caught Kagura
looking at him when theyd first met. And chewing tabaccos not my thing.
Ishigami-san? the young man said as he knocked on the door pane lightly. Edmonton-san is
here.
A grunt that could have been a word came. The young man opened the door and gestured for Kagura
to go in. As soon as Kagura stepped into Ishigamis office, the door closed behind him.
Take a seat, Edmonton-san, Ishigami said. He didnt look up from what he was reading at his
desk. Do you need a drink or anything?
No, thank you, Kagura said. He sat in the only other chair in the office that didnt have a pile of
folders on it. They were quiet for a while. To occupy himself, Kagura studied the office and its
chaos.
When Ishigami finished reading, he closed the folder and shoved it to the side. I understand you
are applying for permission to leave Japan and go to Italy? Do you have family there?
Just a few cousins I was introduced to long ago. Right now, I think I need to go there to collect
myself before going back to America. There's nothing for me here, he said. With what happened...I
prefer not to be here anymore.
Embarrassed about the party? Ishigami asked. This incident wont detail names. Those men are
too well connected to allow their names to surface in the papers in that manner.
They are protected, Kagura said. I am not. Ive had journalists following me.
Ishigami frowned. Someone leaked your name to the press?
Kagura shrugged and looked down at his hands. I know you dont think highly of me and my sexual
habits. And I know you still think I had something to do with Sakiyama-sans murder, but I dont have
to live with your opinions. I have to live with myself.
True, Ishigami said. He picked up his well-bitten cigar from a clean ashtray and stuck it to the
corner of his mouth. Ive got nothing.
So you wont file for an injunction?
Ishigami got up and walked around the desk, pausing only a few feet from where Kagura sat.
Nope, he said. Id like to say this is one of the most perfectly planned and executed murders Ive
ever come across in the twenty-six years of my career, but that wouldnt be fair. My instincts mean
nothing if I have nothing tangible to go with them.

Im not sure if youve just complimented me or insulted me, Ishigami-san.

Ishigami smiled. Take it as a compliment, he said, his voice lowering. You are a very attractive,
bright young man. Put that dangerous look to a good use and stay out of trouble, eh?
Ishigami gave him a wink.
Uncertain what to make of it, Kagura stood and excused himself. When Ishigami offered his hand, he
looked at it for a few seconds before taking it. Ishigamis handshake was firm. There was a message
in it that Kagura chose to dismiss.
I will, Kagura said, taking his hand back. Good-bye, Ishigami-san. Please take care. He let
himself out.
As he walked away through the labyrinth of cubicles, Ishigami leaned against the doorway and
watched him go. Kagura never broke his stride, nor did he look back. Gone. Just like that, taking all
the questions and answers with him.
It was after Kagura left that Ishigami noticed some of his men still staring after him, their eyes fixed
on the closed elevator almost as if they wished he would return.
Get back to work! Ishigami bellowed and returned to his office, slamming his door.

Leonardo da Vinci Fiumicino Airport, Rome - Italy

He pocketed his passport as he passed through immigration. He dragged along a small black carryon, walking by the carousels of luggage. He didnt let up his purposeful stride until he passed customs
and followed the yellow words made from tape that said exit in Italian on the floor. He stepped
around the corner and came face to face with rows of men, women and children looking at him with
anticipation some holding signs with names written on them, some with bundles of flowers cradled
in their arms. He surveyed the crowd then broke into a smile.
He rushed out, nearly letting go of the handle to his bag as he opened his arms to the person who
was waiting for him. They held each other affectionately and stayed like that for a few moments,
ignoring those who watched them.
He sobbed into the mans shoulder, his body shaking. The man only tightened his embrace.
Its okay, its over now. Well be together from now on. Dont cry, he was told. His hair was
ruffled gently.
He sniffled and pulled back, his head down.
No one will ever hurt you again, he said, wiping at his damp cheeks with the back of his hand.

Yes, thank you, the man said. You did very well, Kaguya-chan.
Kaguya looked up at the reflection of himself in the mans glasses. A face exactly like his own
smiled at him.
Just promise me that we will never be separated again, Kagaya said. I dont know how to do
anything without you, Kagura-nii.
Kaguya slipped his arms around Kaguras waist again.
Goes without saying, my cutest little brother, Kagura said and planted a kiss on Kaguyas
forehead. I will love only you. Always.

Cruel to Be Kind
Novel: Kichiku Neko
Art: TogaQ
Digital Editor: Shoganai
ISBN-13: 978-1-62548-000-2
No part of this book may be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the express prior written permission of
the copyright holders.

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