Title Page

Name: Rahjean Sortie

Grade: 12A3
Date: January 9, 2015
Subject: Literatures in English
Title of Drawing: Journeying Across Struggles
You need a cover page with the following as well as what you have above:

Unit number

Name of teacher

Territory (i.e Jamaica)

Candidates registration number

School/centre number
Your title page should have the number of the question you chose as well as the
whole question typed out and the option under the question you selected
indicated.

Explanation
The scope of this research paper focuses on Caribbean Basin Initiative by Olive
Senior. The history of the Caribbean, Haiti in particular hogs the spotlight. It explores issues
arising from economic constraints and how the inhabitants have responded to it. Haiti has a
below par economy alluding to the limited opportunities which have caused the inhabitants to
flee. These people are known as refugees. That is the main subject matter of the poem; the
idea of fleeing. They attempted to flee to America had it not been for soldiers in Cuba
resulting a failure to their scheme. The candidate has implemented a drawing which
captivates the main idea of the poem. The piece is entitled Journey Across Struggles
You need to explain the story line depicted in your drawing. Also, you describe
the drawing itself as in the types of drawing, the materials used. Besides, develop this
into two paragraphs. This also lacks organization.

Justification
The candidate is very passionate about the Caribbean so when the poem was read, he
was drawn to the economic despair that was facing the country although Senior uses the
Jamaican setting for most of her poems; Haiti was most affected in this scenario which
showed she wrote about the wider Caribbean as well. Haiti is the third largest island in the
Caribbean and the most populous full member state of CARICOM. However Haiti is
considered very poor having ranked 24 of 29 in the region and 156 of 182 countries in the
world. It is now understandable as to why this poem generated the interest of the candidate.
The poem has not only sought to explain the economy of the country but how the inhabitants
have tried to solve the problem. Senior not only wrote these poems to expose West Indian
history but she believed that reading it provided an imaginative escape from the realities of
everyday existence. Being a vivid reader, the candidate has stumbled upon different articles
which have said something new and unique about the Caribbeans history. What makes the
poem so gravitating is that the poet is a Jamaican and has explored conflicts between race and
class, cultural roots and modernisation in context with Jamaica and the wider Caribbean.
The candidate finds the poem interesting as it not only explores the conflict in the
poem but tries to highlight the possible means of rectifying the problem. This would allude to
the fact that this helps make Seniors poetry recognisable and unique. This artistic
representation not only explores the main conflict in the poem but through close examination
has highlighted the mood of the poem. The candidate feel as this drawing is appropriate
because through it, the poem is seen especially highlighting the refugees running away from
Haiti through the boats. The drawing he believes is the poem itself.
You need to say more about the drawing itself here. You are expected to do a thorough
justification of it. What ideas have you aimed to portray in the drawing (referring to
the artists intention)? How do you want the viewers to interpret Seniors poem through
your drawing? What aspect of Seniors poem do you seek to highlight the most in your
drawing and how? What is the main theme depicted in the drawing?

qEvaluation
The theme highlighted in the drawing Journeying Across Struggles is Struggling for
Survival. The theme has also influenced the other ideas that are being portrayed which
include: the status of the country and the fact that it is not easy to travel from a country in a
boat to another. The whole representation depicts the theme. We see the different stages of
water that the boat has to undertake. Although its starting point in Haiti looks the most
uncomfortable, it still depicts the struggle to be able to get to the other side. Also the
atmosphere depicted has a lot to do with the struggles as well as. However that will be
explored later. The position as well as the size says a lot much about the message being
conveyed. From the poems perspective, this is the view that Senior wants us to have. It is
based on the context of the poem that this assumption is made. Throughout this section, a
further evaluation will take place with a closer examination of the poem. The candidate
however believes that these are the ideas that Senior wants us to grasp with reasons to be
explored later. This paragraph needs restructuring. It is poorly organized. There are
too many unrelated things thrown together, as with your previous paragraphs. This
paragraph should have a general assessment of the effectiveness of your drawing as an
interpretation. It should have a thesis statement which presents your view of how well
your drawing stands as an interpretation of Seniors poem and the techniques you will
be focusing on.
The mood of the poem is incorporated in the representation of the atmosphere in the
drawing. The candidate therefore wants to point out the image the Haitians have of America.
The colour coordination of Haiti employed the use of dark colours: black, brown and grey.
These colours represent the condition Haiti is faced with therefore the candidate thought it
would be effective. In the poem, it is evident that Haiti is in a state of economic constraint
and despair. The colours (actually, these are shades, not colours black, brown and
grey), therefore, represent sadness and unhappiness. However as with the poem, Journey
Across Struggles highlights the complete opposite in the America's atmosphere. There is also
the intermediate phase in which the refugees have to take. This area has light grey mixed with
a light brush of green on the left side. This shows that there is a transition taking place from
Haiti to America with America having a more attractive view. America's atmosphere is
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portrayed using light colours. The colours represent hope, better conditions, good luck and
prosperity. Seen through the eyes of the Haitians, America offers all of these and the
candidate believes Senior is trying to point that out. At this point you need to get specific
and show us where in the poem it seems as if the speaker believes that America is the
land of hope or prosperity.
Their mode of transportation is the water. From the candidates understanding the
water depicted in Haiti's shores is rough, deep and dark blue. No one would want to travel in
a water of that kind and that is highlighted in the poem. You need to be using the poems
name at this point. You have been going too long without using the name of the poem.

So many passengers
We listed; so much bailing out as we
Drifted, our numbers
Kept shrinking...
It can also be said that the depth of the water refers to dreams that have been drowned there.
In the previous quote, many had been enlisted but had bailed out so they have given up on
their dreams at the shore which would have resulted in a number of unattained dreams thrown
out to sea. The drawing here was designed in such a way that the water on Haitis side
actually gets dark blue to show for the unattained dreams. Also the rough waters contrast with
the economy of Haiti that is wreckage and despair. In this image we find a pun whereas the
water holds the people captive in the wreckage of the country but it also the path to freedom
and better opportunities. Therefore it serves as dual roles but it all depends on how it is used
people. (Is something missing here?) The transitional phase, highlighted in the drawing
enables a gradual change in the water; lighter and calmer. It can also be said this is the part of
the drawing accommodates the mood change as it is with the poem. In Journey Across
Struggles we see that the blue water generates a feeling of peace, tranquillity and harmony, it
just evokes that 'sigh of relief' especially coming from that dark blue rough waters. It's as if
the water was expecting you.(Omit this sentence) The water is clear and light, no dreams are
wasted so the water is shallow. Looking at it just evokes a feeling of welcomeness.

What???!!! Sortie! Please stop making up words and consult your dictionary. You have
too many errors with vocabulary so far in this piece of writing.
The poem Caribbean Basin Initiative is actually a system that America had
implemented to facilitate the economic development and the export diversification of the
Caribbean. However the title takes a pun regarding the story in the poem. The Haitian people
from time to time chose the dangerous route of migration in small open boats. Therefore they
took their own initiative to leave their island a stones throw for economic prosperity. This
alludes to the fact that the country is poor since it .cannot provide for its people. Hence the
brown colour is employed to highlight the poverty. In the drawing regarding the people in the
boat, the refugees are closely packed together as in the poem.
Like limpets we cling
On a craft that ply

A note must be made that Caribbean Basin Initiative is a part of a collection

Gardening in the Tropics. The collections title was chosen to explore by means of
agricultural and horticultural signs and symbols to show the extent to which hybridity,
creolisation and syncretism to explain Caribbeans history. In Gardening in the Tropics, the
gardens ambivalence functions as a space to negotiate the complex changes between
colonial, postcolonial and global and to describe the contradictory impulses within current
theory towards identities grounded in regional and historical particularities and towards
identities that are forever deterred by movements of transnational exchange. The gardening
motif is not as strong in the poem so it reflects in the drawing. The only evidence of such is
that of the boat where the inhabitants had to cut down a tree in order to build the boat.
Cuba and America are located on the left hand of the drawing. (This is too sudden a
start on this point. You need a linking sentence for ease of transition from the previous
paragraph to this one. Also, you need a topic sentence here which gives us an argument
about the effectiveness of the section of the drawing you are highlighting) The
interesting thing about their location is that both of them above Haiti. The location could
allude to their status, Cuba is above Haiti and America is above Cuba which means that
America is the dominant country. The refugees were stopped at Guantanamo Bay located at
the south-eastern end of Cuba. That means that they didn't get to witness America. What is
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interesting is that America controls Guantanamo Bay based on the context of the poem,
soldiers stationed there prevent refugees from leaving the Caribbean to America. That could
explain why it is located at Cuba, a Caribbean island just a stone's throw away from its
southern state, Florida. So America and Cuba has more opportunities advantage based on
their location and due to American exploits in Cuba, Cuba will always have an advantage
over the rest of the Caribbean.
The artistic representation that has been employed is closely related to the poem. CBI
is about Haitians taking their own initiative to flee from their country to the Americas. In the
representation, the fleeing idea is conveyed with the use of the boat and water. Moreover no
explicit details were included in the description of the water but the candidate has ensured
through his art, the subject matter is portrayed through the water. Viewers would immediately
see that the water representation will depict Haiti as low status and America/Cuba of a higher
status.
The poem made a comment about dreams and this is something very important to the
context of the poem. So the candidate tried to incorporate this as best as he could through his
representation of the water. The atmosphere of each section in the artwork depicts the tone in
the poem. Haiti's atmosphere is all dark and gloomy, which shows the condition of the island
at the beginning of the poem.
No sailer am I
I was farming
Till my seed
Failed to yield
Fell on stony
Ground....
Never knew
At the time
The answer is:
Water
From this line, the farmer was helpless and had lost hope, but he had come to the realisation
that water was the answer for his problems. Water in this case is the mode of transportation
offering relief to their hardships. The transitional phase represents the amount of time they
had taken to the Americas. They were sailing away from the despair and wreckage of their

homeland. The transitional phase provided a test for them to see if they would pursue their
dreams or turn back.
After weeks of
Dead reckoning
No beckoning
Landfall; I hang
By a thread
To my dream
We are seeking
The Gulf Stream
It is who we
Are found
The last section belonged to Cuba and America. This side seemed very prosperous and
cheerful. Too bad they did not get to witness the opportunities offered there. Instead they
were captured at the dark and gloomy Guantanamo Bay.
Nothing's stronger
Than this cage
On Guantanamo
The only difference between the poem and the artistic representation is the art failed to show
the return journey of the Haitians from Guantanamo Bay but there's only so much art can do,
but the main idea was effectively brought out.

Good effort Sortie but you have many corrections to make regarding your grammar,
vocabulary and organization. Besides, you waited too long to give the information on
the Caribbean Basin Initiative and when you did it wasnt enough. You should have
discussed this as a part of the justification since you have a concern with the Haitians
situation. Also, this is Seniors main concern, which is why the poem is so named. We
can tell the main concern of a writer based on the chosen title but you ignored the title
for the majority of the IA a big error. You need to discuss the significance of the title
as it shows your true understanding of the poem and the poets interest. Olive Senior
was actually criticizing the initiative. If you do your research well, you will realize that it
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is mean to help countries of the Caribbean but Senior only highlights the negatives in
her poem. What she is actually saying then, is that there the initiative is a failure. That
the Caribbean people are actually left to suffer while these big countries (like US), who
claim that there were supposed to help the Caribbean boost their economy, do nothing
to help and exploit the Caribbean people instead. This is seen in the control the have at
Guantanamo Bay. You need to make a connection between the literary
context/background of the poem and the poem itself and Seniors concerns. This is a
protest poem. You need to examine Seniors method of protest. Look at this poem with
more intensity and your drawing as well.
Also, though this is to be an evaluation of your drawing, the syllabus requires
that for your IA you show knowledge and understanding of the elements and features of
poetry. Therefore, you need to discuss the effectiveness of her techniques such as
intertextuatlity, irony, puns, diction, tone, mood, rhyme et cetera. Show how the ideas
you get from these techniques are reflected in your drawing. Remember, this is
Literature. Analysis of the elements of the genre MUST ALWAYS be done regardless of
what your assignment is. Therefore, much of you explanation of things will have to be
condensed to include some true analysis.

Reference Page
McDermott, Harold
CAPE Literatures in English: Poetry Module
Kingston 10: Pear Tree Press Ltd., 2012
Pages 197-223
Stouck, Jordan
Gardening in the Diaspora: Plate and Identity in Olive Seniors Poetry
Winnipeg: Dec 2005. Vol. 38 Iss 4
Simpson, Hyacinith
Olive Seniors Gardening in the Tropics
Ryerson University: 2012
This is not how you cite your sources MLA style. I specifically told you MLA style.
Please do some research on how to cite your sources MLA style and do this correctly.
Also, you pages are to be numbered on the top right hand corner MLA style. Please
follow instructions. Also, use double spacing for your work next time.

YOUR GRADE:
Knowledge and Understanding: 10/15
10

Application of Knowledge: 14/23

Organisation of Information and Expression: 5/10
Total - 29/48

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