The outlook

By Kailash Chandra Sabat-9439664529

The story of a young love lads 35 years journey to a yogic life

I am 57 years now. But all the childhood days in my memory are as clear as mossed
stones in a knee deep fountain.
Yeah,it was pinky,snaky,rosy and perfectly attractive lips. Along with the long golden
hair carefully spinned into a bunch at the top of backside.
The loose blue pyzma matched her upper arm cut ironed brown T shirt.
She peered at me and wanted to examine my mobile.A nokia 1100 mobile available
for only Rs 1500/-.
She raised her nose and eyebrows with disapproval in disappointment and may be
murmured a cheap man.

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I tried to stop her escape by saying please dont disappoint me. But perhaps her
mind was running at a greater speed to a man matching her emotions.
The cat and mouse game continued from 1980 to 2015 for a period of 35 years until
I am 57 years then.Be it a sweet singing tone or a sharp eyed beauty,my mind
moved on searching lovingly tenderly bony flowers.

A worst charactered guy, my boss commented.

I never understood that my teenage friends were really enjoying my big woggie
bluffings and taking the undue advantage of my ridiculous claim that my five girl
friends in different places were sleeping with me where ever I move around.One of
them once was disgusted and straight away disapproaved my feelings for her,your
behavior is unacceptable.I cannot manage you,she commented.
Oh,I warned,later on dont blame me if I took wrong steps and means,I tried to raise
her sentiments for me.
Ok,as you wish,she told her final words on me.
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When I was even slapped by one of them once in a party, enraged as I was, moved
to a prostitute home and paid the entry fees of Rs 100 in my twenties and inside the
house the 50 year old prostitute slept nude before me and invited me to sleep with
her.
Oh! No I never wanted this type of love. I panicked and ran away and never
appeared around that area in my life once again.
The dimension of the problem I could imagine when last year in a women yoga camp
organized by a women welfare group in a backward district of Bihar and I could feel
the women thinking as if men had been horrible to them i.e flesh loving in general.I
thought if this is the general feelings of women about men, it could result into a big
social problem, a very big social disease, an unwarranted complicated issue that
future would be thoughtful about. When it is an issue how to manage the lives of the
poor and complicated issues arounf, men think only about sex,my dearest lover
commented.You are one of the low level terrible fellow treating women so
low,another warned me.
People reading my mind,I was shocked.A moral life like Lord Budha or Lord Rama or
Lord Hanumaan is a must for me,I spoke to myself.

Opening up of yourselfOnce A guru Mr Sajjal from Allahbad told that never hold back the mind against a
good wish.Just sacrify a 10% of your earnings and that would let your energy flow
active.In all such relationship it is better to open up and honesty makes you
courageous.
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The godman tried to convince me,now we all are old.You are 57 and I am 75 years
old.We have seen enough of our lives.What you get in there regarding enjoying,he
appealed.
I am only 57 sir,I tried to protest,and dont want to destroy my life.
It is ok!But giving more time for god and meditation is no destruction of life,he
explained.
Only you have to change the outlook.
Things were very fast being processed in my mind.
Sure,I will think over that,sincerely I replied.
An article by Kailash
Muzaffarpur
Bihar.

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