Sorensen

Trevor Sorensen
BSAD 111
31 August 2013
What Corporate America Cant Build: A Sentence
With the advent of technology in the past decade, more communication is moving away
from face-to-face communication. Technology, especially in the business world, brings an
advantage to producers attempting to spread their market to a global scale. However, along with
the benefits of technology, it poses a challenge to those who are not experienced in using
electronic communication and who have not developed their communication abilities. To be
successful in the business world, students must, more than ever, build stronger communication
skills.
When business and industry professionals pose the problem of communication to
university professors, they are referring to the most pressing problem of both current and
potential employees not understanding the tone of their writing. For example, when explaining a
writing workshop given by a university professor, Sam Dillon writes,
When at [Linda Andrews] request the executives produced letters they had written to a
supplier who had failed to deliver parts on time, she was horrified to see that tone-deaf
writing had turned a minor business snarl into a corporate confrontation moving toward
litigation. (2)
Whether we realize it or not, electronic communication inhibits our ability to see a persons
reaction in real-time. Although this is a necessity in some markets, it creates two major issues.
First, the initiator is less likely to care about the reaction of the recipient, leading to potentially
purposeful derogatory statements. Because they may not necessarily see the reaction of the
recipient, they do not care. Second, even if the person is not attempting to be derogatory, words
can be twisted to appear that way. A simple sentence can be twisted into multiple meanings. In
summary, a major problem for business executives is the tone of their writing.

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Good writing is an extremely important trait that both current and potential employees
need to be successful beyond college. The ability to craft detailed, yet understandable, sentences
free from errors in grammar, spelling, and logic is the foundation of all writing. The next step to
successful writing is ordering the detailed, yet understandable, sentences into a logical group that
presents the goal the writer is trying to convey. A major problem with writing is that the writer
often has more knowledge than the readers. At this step in the writing process, the writer may
often leave out sentences that contain valuable information because they forget they are the
expert compared to their readers. By taking a step back and looking at the project objectively,
the author is more likely to remember to include information that will help the reader to
understand what the author intended. Business leaders need effective communication skills even
more in our economy due to the importance of working together around the world. Employees
are no longer limited only to company offices. As transnational companies utilize international
offices, not all employees may be privy to information necessary to complete their duties.
Effective writing, especially via email communication, is important to expedite business. All in
all, good writing is important for both current and future employees of businesses.
Personally, past experiences have helped to promote my communication abilities. During
my two terms as the Nebraska Future Business Leaders of America (FBLA) State
Parliamentarian, I was tasked with communicating with business and industry professionals,
elected officials, and teachers from around the United States. A large portion of my work
revolved around communicating important information, deadlines, and goals via email.
Throughout the two years, I worked considerably to improve my tone, grammar, and
proofreading skills to be better suited to serve as a state officer. However, as I writer, I can
always improve my skills. As I progress through the college of business administration, I expect
to become more concise as a writer. During my senior year of high school, my English teacher

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consistently worked with me to eliminate the flowery sentences I was using. Instead of
following the advice of US President FDR (Be sincere; be brief; be seated), I was not writing
concise enough to be understood. In summary, I expect to continue to work on my writing skills
and to improve them considerably while in CBA.
Students need to proper writing skills to be successful in the future. The advent of
technology brings our society closer together: we no longer are bound to affiliate with others
based upon proximity. However, our interconnected society must now work even harder than
before to improve its communication skills. If everyone, from business executives to business
students, work and improve communication, our society will continue to build a stronger future.

Works Cited
Dillon, Sam. What Corporate America Can't Build: A Sentence. New York Times. 7 Dec. 2004.
Web. 31 Aug. 2013.