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the women.
Our Nature and Nurture
At a fundamental level, human behaviour is predicated on nature our
physiology and chemical balance and how significant people in our lives
nurtured us. On the side of nurture What examples did we have in life?
What values were instilled in us? What kind of conversations did we have
with our parents, elders, teachers and mentors? What kind of a society did
we grow up in? How was our self-esteem shaped?
As we grow up as adults, we are supposed to move away from being selfcentered and impulsive, to control our emotions and primal impulses to put
off our need for instant gratification, so we may learn to live and share life
with others with decorum and in harmony.
Sri Lankan society has been caught in the whirl of a brutal war, where the
Emergency regulations gave political leaders and their bureaucratic cronies
unlimited power. This coincided with an open liberal economy where money
and consumption defined power and success rather than ones values and
integrity. This has enshrined a vested self-interest in Sri Lankas cultural,
political, economic and social institutions. When unchecked, this culture
breeds a certain reptilian selfish indulgence, in those who are in positions of
power.
Canadas Problem
Yet this is not a Sri Lankan problem alone, as Prof. John Packer Director,
Human Rights Research and Education Centre, University of Ottawa,
pointed out when he introduced the next documentary Finding Dawn by
Christine Welsh a Canadian Metis (mixed Aboriginal French heritage).
program Enqute.
Responsibility and the Power of Position
On October 22nd, 2015 in addressing these issues, Quebec Premier Philippe
Couillard stated, There is no tolerance in our society for any act of
oppression of any kind particularly not from people who hold positions of
power and especially not toward segments of the population that are
already in vulnerable positions due to their status Aboriginal womens
status in particular.
This is exactly it people who hold positions of power have to be the most
responsible, as they epitomise the law and the duty to safeguard every
citizen. If they do not take this responsibility seriously, their immense
power enables them to manipulate the system as they wish over powerless
people. When the power of position is misused, even by one person going
astray, it plays havoc with society, as it creates fear and vulnerability.
Then, when the perpetrators are protected by the very system that is
supposed to enforce the law, it adds insult to injury.
How do we bring this conversation to the surface to examine the root
causes? This conversation needs to cover values, parenting, schooling,
culture, gender, class, governance, the will to uphold and enforce the law
and the importance of leadership. When the political process has eroded
with expediency for the powerful, a culture of impunity pervades and is
endemic as it is in Sri Lanka and in Canada, when it comes to
disadvantaged parts of society.
In todays age of information and social media, the emperor is exposed
without clothes, as the powerful cannot hide their misdeeds using the
system anymore. Now these stories are coming out, and the credibility of
our governments and political leaders are at stake.
The question is, how do we change this situation?
The moral compass of people also depends on culture, history and the
socio-economic situation.
In any society, there is a certain percentage of psychopaths and sociopaths
on the bell curve to different degrees of affliction. First of all, it is
governance, as laws have to protect people from these crimes and they
have to be enforced.
The other side of the coin comes from nurture. Positive parenting and
teaching is crucial to build self esteem and to reduce sociopathic
tendencies. Self esteem leads to personal responsibility that comes from
values and conscience.
Crucial Conversations
It is really true that it takes a village to raise a child.
It is those conversations I had with my mother and even more with my
grandmother, about being a man of honour, about the importance of
respect, that I know became the voice of reason that tempered my
behaviour, to control my primal reptilian impulses in certain situations.
Gaining the space to think of the consequences, the bigger picture of how
my behaviour and actions impacted on others helped to bring some
rationality to highly emotional situations.
That is why I believe we have to go back to those basics. We have to catch
abhorrent behaviour at a young age. Parents are best placed to notice and
correct behaviour patterns and next come the school and then the
community the neighbours and our spiritual guides.
However, there has to be a framework for a positive society in place that
respects man and woman alike as distinct partners. If mothers and
grandmothers and other female elders, siblings, friends are to have an
influence on young men, society has to respect women and this should be
reflected in the media. Only then can the significant women in our lives
influence us as sons, grandsons, nephews and brothers, husbands, fathers
to respect ourselves first, so we can respect the women in our lives to
form our true partnerships to make this world a better place.
Riane Eisler, in her book Chalice and the Blade says we live in an exciting,
dangerous time in which we can overthrow our hierarchically controlled
patriarchal system and replace it with a technologically advanced model of
the partnership system in which both genders work together to emphasize
the nurturing side of life.
The only way to make that happen is to make movies like Silence in the
Courts and Finding Dawn mainstream so more and more people can have
these crucial and important conversations.
Posted by Thavam