Emily’s Crystal

A Play By

Harry J. Chong

NOTES:

-woman is rich -emily’s crystal, it continually darkens, she sold her soul to
the devil for fame and money; does not want to be with henry
for
unselfish reasons
-receives a crystal
-blonde
-ending
-man sexually inadequate -just wants a chance
-how could you kiss another woman when you have
her?
-you have everything
-decides not to tell, to not make her sad
-YOU are an ingrate
-life gives you everything you want and you
have to take more and more and more
-you're the only woman i've ever loved
-gets rich, loses weight to impress lady
-man reveals his feelings
-before woman can return feelings
-he kills himself with gun
-THE WOMAN's gun that he took away to prevent
her from killing herself
-i want a chance
-he is extremely insecure
-shoots himself in the heart
-falls into a pool of water
-writes in a diary
-it's okay
-you don't have to coddle me
-i'm a man
-we don't have feelings
-chokes up
-watching you kiss other men, and hearing
the rumors about all the fantastic sex you've had...
doesn't bother me at all
-no, no, no
-virgin
-can't do this, can't do that
-low self esteem
-has a problem with teasing
-overweight, fatty
-every time i look at you i see a life
-i see a family, i see kids
-i don't want to spend the rest of my life with you,
i want to be with you forever, 'till the end of time
-- if there is an end to time
-i can't live without you <===============
-and i mean that, i'm not just being poetic

LENGTH: 84 PAGES

FIVE ACTS – Three to five scenes each…

OUTLINE:

ACT ONE -
1. (1)
2. (2)
3. (3)

ACT TWO
4. (1)
5. (2)
6. (3)

ACT THREE
7. (1)
8. (2)
9. (3)
10. (4)
11. (5)

ACT FOUR
12. (1)
13. (2)
14. (3)

ACT FIVE - Death

15. (1)
16. (2)
17. (3)

No more than eight places.

CHARACTERS:

Henry: An aging man, a depressed virgin, never been loved or kiss, constantly struggling
with life, never has any money, ugly, overweight—sometimes clever and kind hearted
when necessary. Is an accountant.
[PESSIMISTIC]

Terry: Casual friend of Henry. Bothers him at the most inopportune times. Young, fancy,
and free. Doesn’t care much about anything. Enjoys smoking and indulges in the vices of
life.
[Another friend of Henry’s.]

April: A normal, middle-class girl, a few years younger than Henry, his best friend from
childhood, secretly in love with him, but never quite has the courage to tell him, acts like
an older sister but often gets jealous, which leads to long periods of isolation and sorrow.
Sort of nerdy, dies one day by eating an apple, but nobody knows if it’s an accident. Has
a good sense of humor. Works at restaurant.
[OPTIMISTIC]

Eva: Henry’s mother, aging and arthritic, sick, but full of love and joy, stays close to her
son, always keeping a watchful eye, constantly mourning the loss of her husband.

Emily (Smith): A young, beautiful, actress has everything in the world, everything she
could ever need, travel around the world—a typical princess, but a princess who cares,
struggles with her identity, tries not to be typecast on film and in real life. Has a gun.
Dates many men.

Lance: A dashing man, good looks, grew up in a rich family but dysfunctional family,
carries around burden of inadequacy from unloving father, constantly competing with
others, and trying to outdo those around him.
[One of Emily’s love interests]

Angelina: A woman nearing her middle-age, treated like dirt by her husband, cheats and
uses Lance as a crutch for emotions.
[BITTER]

Jason: Angelina’s husband, grew up in abusive household, often insecure, never feels
good enough for anyone, extremely paranoid, irrational, resorts to anger for relief, but
always feels guilty afterward.

1.

Wintermute Square

In a small but quaint village—miles away from the big city—the market square has been
cleared and transformed into a festive area to celebrate the winter solstice. But it
appears that nobody is there. Then MUSIC begins to play and a folk BAND suddenly.
Marching through they leaves behind a disheveled looking, overweight man in his late
thirties, he stands around, looks left and right, waiting for someone to arrive. HENRY
sits down on a rock and rests his head between his arms.

HENRY: (Tapping foot.) Where is that woman? Why did she invite me to this ridiculous
winter solstice festival if she’s not even going to show up? I’ve looked everywhere! She
should’ve been here over an hour ago!

A beautiful woman in a thick winter coat appears. APRIL waves to Henry with a smile.

APRIL: Henry!

HENRY: (Stands.) April, where were you?

APRIL: I just arrived.

HENRY: Well, you’re an hour late. Now, I’m not angry or anything like that—but this
was your idea.

APRIL: I’m not an hour late. There’s something wrong with your watch.

HENRY: There is nothing wrong with my… (Reaches into back pocket, takes out pocket
watch and looks. Taps the face. Realizes it’s broken.) Oh, alright. Never mind. (Puts it
away.)

APRIL: (Clears throat.) Ahem!

HENRY: I’m sorry for accusing you of being late.

APRIL: Thank you.

HENRY: Now, what did you call me here for? If you don’t mind my asking.

APRIL: What do you mean?

HENRY (Confused.): Why am I here?

APRIL: Deus ex machina? Have you ever thought that we’re all just here for G-d’s own
amusement? He is, after all, quite a fickle character.

HENRY: April, you know what I mean.

APRIL: Henry, there’s no reason for being here except to enjoy the festivities. You
know, not everything has to have a point or be “productive.” Sometimes you just have to
relax and enjoy yourself.
HENRY: How can I enjoy myself when I have no money?

APRIL: Haven’t you heard? The best things in life are free.

HENRY: And what are those pray tell?

APRIL: Laughter—Haw! Haw! Haw!

HENRY: That’s not a real laugh.

APRIL: He-he-he!
HENRY: I repeat myself. That’s not a real laugh.

APRIL: Ho-ho-ho!

HENRY: Oh, I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

April stands behind Henry and massages his shoulders.

APRIL: C’mon, relax. The world is going to come crashing down if you forget to pay
your bills.

HENRY (Somewhat relaxed.): April, are you still working at that dreary restaurant?

APRIL: The craziest thing happened yesterday. You’ll never guess.

HENRY: Robbery?

APRIL: Nope.

HENRY: Dine and dash?

APRIL: Nope.

HENRY: A fire?

APRIL: Nope.

HENRY: I give up.

APRIL: Do you know who Emily Smith is? Of course you do, she’s your favorite…

HENRY: (Turns to face April.) No, she didn’t actually eat there did she? That dreary
place?
APRIL: I could hardly believe it myself! And I was so bloody nervous! I was literally
shaking—I tell you, I felt like I was going to be sick! When she walked inside, everyone
was staring. But she didn’t make fuss, she was humble and nice and she quietly took a
seat in the corner.

HENRY: Was she with anyone?

APRIL: A really handsome man.

HENRY (Jealous.): Who?

APRIL: I don’t know. I never asked. It’s not any of my business.

HENRY: Well, how does he look?

APRIL: Pretty damned good. Very classy; wore a suit and a hat. Not like a baseball cap
mind you—one of those fancy hats you see in all the fashion magazines. I’m betting it
was quite expensive.

HENRY: Of course. Of course. It makes sense. Why would Emily Smith want to choose
anyone less than a millionaire? She could have any man she wants.

APRIL: Even you?

HENRY: Don’t kid with me. A woman like that would never, ever, ever, ever want to be
with a man like me. I am her complete opposite. Emily Smith is successful, exciting,
smart, worldly, and attractive. I, on the other hand, am constantly broke, incredibly
boring, stupid as a rock, haven’t even been out of the country and I’m incredibly fat. Oh,
yes. I definitely have a chance.

APRIL: As usual you’re being too hard on yourself. You are very attractive.

HENRY: What is attractive about me, April? The fact that I don’t have car, that I live at
home with my mother, or that I’m a virgin? Half a decade, April, and I’m forty.

APRIL: Forty is not old by any stretch of the imagination. People live very long these
days. Forty is the new twenty.

HENRY: You know what you are, April? You’re an optimist. You see a light at the end
of every tunnel…and it’s absolutely ridiculous. Life is terrible. I don’t know why you’re
so happy.

APRIL: I’m with you. What more could I want?

HENRY: Lots more. Trust me.

APRIL: I just don’t understand you, Henry. I know your mother isn’t really well that
now…and you’re kind of down…but why spend your life looking down at everything?
You know, that’ll give you a bad neck after a while.

HENRY: I’m not sad because my mother is ill. Okay—maybe a pinch. But that’s not
really the main reason why I feel the way I do all the time.

APRIL: I know what it is. It’s the bane of man and woman’s existence—unrequited love.
You love somebody who doesn’t love you back. And everyday you cry yourself to sleep
because you know you can’t possibly be with them. And every time you see them with
another person you get a sick feeling in your gut and you feel like throwing up.

HENRY: I haven’t thrown up since I was fifteen.

APRIL: I remember that. I was about ten? You came to my house, hung out with my
older brother, drank a can of beer and threw up all over my mom’s new rug. What did
you eat for lunch? She still says she can’t get that smell out.

HENRY: Chinese food—tastes good going down, awful coming up.

APRIL: Disgusting.

HENRY: Thank you…

APRIL: (Looking.) So what should we do?

HENRY: No clue. What exactly does one do at a winter solstice festival?

APRIL: Dancing?

HENRY: I’m not dancing.

APRIL: And why not?

HENRY: (Grabs gut and moves it around.) Look at this. You think I want to move
around with this thing hanging off my body? One slip and I’m a goner. Though, I’m not
really afraid of dying—mostly just how I die.

APRIL: Okay, fine. How about some games? Bean bag toss? You can win me a stuffed
animal.

HENRY: Oh, how cruel. Killed and gutted; only to be made into child’s mere plaything.

APRIL: It’s not a real animal, Henry.

HENRY: I knew that.

APRIL: So how about it? It’s not too far from here. I think.

HENRY: Let’s get something to eat instead. I’m really hungry.

APRIL: Okay, um, you stay here. I’ll go and get us something. (Starts to walk.)

HENRY: (Reaches into coat.) Wait! Do you need any money?

APRIL: No, my treat.

HENRY: Good…because I don’t have any money.

April smiles and walks away. Henry stands alone. He puts his hands in his pockets and
whistles, waiting for the return of his friend. Angelina appears.

ANGELINA (Unsure.): Henry, is that you?

HENRY: (Nods) Angelina, what brings you here?

ANGELINA: (Shivering, holding self.) Trying to have a good time. Get away from my
husband. That sort of thing. Yourself?

HENRY: I’m here with April. She went away to get retrieve some food.

ANGELINA: A good, little dog, isn’t she?

HENRY: I admit. She has those big, puppy, dog eyes.

ANGELINA: April is quite the woman.

HENRY: Yeah, she has her qualities, but I wouldn’t call her an Emily Smith.

ANGELINA: What a thing to say…

HENRY: How’s that?

ANGELINA: Typical men—can never read a woman. Are you so dense that you don’t
know she’s madly in love with you?

HENRY: You’re making that up. Why would Emily Smith be in love with me?

ANGELINA: Don’t be daft. I was talking about April and you know it.

HENRY: (Sighs.) Why do we even bother talking to each other?

ANGELINA: I got the goods.

HENRY: So you really think she likes me, huh?

ANGELINA: I said “love” not “like.” Pay attention.

HENRY: I don’t believe you.

ANGELINA: What reason would I have to lie?

HENRY: It brings you pleasure.

ANGELINA: How rude. I’ll have you know I’m a very honest person.

HENRY: That’s exactly what a liar would say.

ANGELINA: Fine. Don’t believe me…

HENRY: So how’s Jason?

ANGELINA: Don’t even mention his name. I know you don’t give a damn how he is.
You just want to hear about how crappy our relationship is so you can feel better about
yourself. Isn’t that so?

HENRY: Angelina, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just trying to make idle
chat—nothing more, nothing less. I have no ulterior motives and do not wish to pry into
the realm of your disturbing private life.

ANGELINA: If you must know, he’s fine. He’s going to those meetings as we agreed
and I think things are getting better.

HENRY: That’s good to know.

ANGELINA: Though, I must say, he does still have his little moments.

HENRY: Not another “accident.”

ANGELINA: Another accident. Yes. This time I fell down the stairs.

HENRY: Why don’t you just leave him and stop having these “accidents.” Just walk out
the door.

ANGELINA: You think it’s that simple, eh? You think I don’t want to? Everyday I pray
for Superman to come to my house and take me away—but, like Jesus, he never answers
my requests.
HENRY: Look, Angelina, I know you don’t like me very much—but we have known
each other for a long time. And you know I would never steer you wrong on purpose. For
the sake of your health, for your mental sanity—leave.

ANGELINA: Jason and I have a life together—for better or for worse.

HENRY: Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?

ANGELINA (Sarcastic.): I try not to look.

HENRY: I’m not trying to insult you, Angelina. You’re a beautiful woman. Any man
would kill to be with you. I just want you to realize that you don’t look like yourself.
Your face is melting away with exhaustion.

ANGELINA: …Screw you and your poetic bullshit. I’m fine. I can take care of myself. I
don’t need you to give me advice. And F.Y.I. not every woman has the brain of a squirrel
like you think. I’ve thought about it hard and long. I am going to see it through.

HENRY: Don’t even try to get defensive with me. You know I’m telling you this for
your own good. Everything I say is true.

ANGELINA: Oh yeah? What about that time you thought that world was going to end in
the year 2000? Hmm? Didn’t happen, did it? You stayed at home like a pathetic loser,
while I went out and got smashed.

HENRY: That’s where you met Jason.

ANGELINA: I don’t have to take this from you. You’re a bloody accountant. You isolate
yourself in a room and crunch numbers. What do you know about humans?

HENRY: I know an arsehole when I see one.

ANGELINA: Did you just call me an “arsehole”?

HENRY: Not you.

ANGELINA: (Straightens jacket.) Welp, I must be going now. Tell April I said “hello.”

HENRY: She’ll back in a minute.

ANGELINA: …Tell her I said “hello.”

As Angelina leaves, April returns with some food—candy floss. She gives Henry his own
stick.

HENRY: You brought back candy floss?

APRIL: They ran out of potatoes.

HENRY: Oh, you know who was just here a minute ago? Angelina. She said “hello.”

APRIL: How is she? Her husband still beating her like a dirty rug?

HENRY: That’s not funny, April.

APRIL: I’m joking.

HENRY: I know. That’s why I said it’s not funny.

APRIL: In all seriousness, I really do feel sorry for her. I mean—she’s living in a loveless
marriage. There’s nothing worse than that. It’s like having the rug yanked out from under
your feet. You think you’re safe and secure; then you fall on your face.

HENRY: What’s with you and your rug analogies?

APRIL: I bought a rug.

HENRY: I don’t see it anywhere.

April and Henry begin eating their candy floss.

APRIL: Pizza.

HENRY: Pizza?

APRIL: Pizza. It means it’ll be delivered.

HENRY: Oh! I’ve never heard of that slang before.

APRIL: I know. I made it up a few minutes ago.

HENRY: Why?

APRIL: Oh, I just—I’d like to contribute to the English language. You know; be a part of
something larger than myself. That would be fantastic.

HENRY: And you’re hoping children will use the word “pizza” instead of “delivery.”
That is going to be incredibly confusing.

APRIL: No. People will know. Once they use it enough.

HENRY: Alright, fine. But I have to tell you, I’m not one for slang. Most of it doesn’t
make any sense to me.
APRIL: That’s because you’re not looking hard enough, Henry. If you look at any slang
you can see that it indeed does make sense. Take for example the word “fuck.” A simple
four letter word that can have numerous meanings…but do you know where it actually
comes from?

HENRY: Please, enlighten me.

APRIL: It comes from a person’s last name. John le Fucker to be exact.

HENRY: Are you sure about that? His last name was actually Fucker?

APRIL: Mind you, this was a long time ago. The word “fuck” and “fucker” weren’t as
offensive as it is today. They used it quite a bit.

HENRY: So you’re telling me people actually said things like “good fucking morning” to
their neighbors?

APRIL: No. That’s silly—the phrase “good morning” wasn’t invented at that point and
time.

HENRY: (Scratches head.) Oh…

April and Henry stand by each other awkwardly, not sure what to say next, not sure
where to take the conversation.

APRIL: …So, I’m having a birthday party. Um, you’re invited, Henry. Did you receive
an invitation?

HENRY: I didn’t know your birthday was coming up. I thought it was in April.

APRIL: My name is April. I’m not born in April.

HENRY: My mistake. When is your party?

APRIL: Tomorrow; the day before Christmas no less.

HENRY: I don’t have to buy you two presents do I?

APRIL: Anything you give to me is good enough—even a gift card.

HENRY: What’s wrong with a gift card?

APRIL: It’s completely asinine; taking a perfectly good note that can be spent almost
anywhere and making it into something that’s only useful in one place. What if you live
too far from that particular shop? What do you do with it?
HENRY: I gave you a gift card last year, didn’t I?

April silently nods.

HENRY: I apologize.

APRIL: It’s okay. I’m sure you have something great planned this year.

HENRY: (Tugs on collar.) I sure do… Uh, so where is the party again?

APRIL: Your place.

HENRY: What? Your birthday party is going to be at my place? I don’t have a place. I
live with my mother.

APRIL: I know. I asked her. She said I could.

HENRY: Why would she do that? The place is a mess. It smells like cheese.

APRIL: Clean the house would you?

HENRY: But I’m off—I don’t want to do all that work.

A smiling couple holding hands appears. They take a seat on the rock and rub noses;
giggling and kissing. April looks at them, clearly becoming distracted.

APRIL: I…

HENRY: Yes?

APRIL: (Shakes head, returns to conversation.) I’m not asking you to clean from ceiling
to floor. Just give it a quick sweep and open a window to air out the place, eh?

The couple becomes louder, even distracting Henry.

HENRY: (Glances.) Um…

APRIL: Yeah…

April turns to the couple, incensed.

APRIL: Will you two lovebirds knock it off?! We are trying to have a bloody
conversation!

The scared couple gets up and runs away.

HENRY: (Laughs.)

What is love?
April introduces Henry to Emily Smith.
April born on December 24th.
Henry’s mom in a wheelchair.
Not experience sexually.
People coming through as April has to tell something.
Hitler’s moustache, history channel
Mom’s house
Tunnel vision—can’t get over her.
The friend zone is like the Twilight zone.
5 PARTS – 85 PAGES – 17 EACH
-Body is a temple

STORY…

1. Winter Solstice Festival

-Introduce Characters and their Backgrounds

2. Henry’s House for Party

-Meet mother
-April surprises Henry with Emily
-Emily explains her crystal, taken as a joke

3. Secluded Beach Area

-Henry stalks April
-Agrees on a date
-They go out for a walk on the beach

4. Two Bedrooms (Split Screen)

-Talking to Angelina; her relationship is actually beginning to work out
-The bleakest relationship is working out
-Henry reveals to April he’s going out with Emily
-She tries to kill herself
-He takes away the gun

5. Park
-Henry has photos of Emily kissing another man
-Emily breaks up
-Dies of crystal
-Suicide