ISLAMIC - ISLAMIC

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Islamic Beliefs

PARENTS & CHILDREN'S .

Prophet
Mohammad
Quran &
Hadith
Faith Related

1)

PARENTS RIGHTS

Islamic Sects

2)

CHILDREN'S RIGHT IN ISLAM

Life after
Death

3)

ISLAMIC WAY OF RAISING CHILDREN'S

Graves/Interces
sion

4)

PARENTS UNISLAMIC BEHAVIOUR

5)

MOTHERS: IS HEAVEN UNDER THEIR FEET?

6)

DISOBEDIENCE TO PARENTS: A MAJOR SIN

7)

CUSTODY OF CHILD IF DIVORCED WOMAN

REMARRIES

Banking &
Business

8)

BRINGING UP OF DAUGHTERS

Events
Celebrations

9)

REWARD FOR RAISING THREE DAUGHTERS

10)

PARENTS' DU'AA AGAINST CHILDREN

11)

CHILDREN ISLAMIC EDUCATION IN THE WEST

12)

UNLAWFUL CHILD BEFORE ACCEPTING ISLAM

Muslim Ibadats

Marriage
Related
Critical
Questions
Women
Related
Misc.
Questions

Christians
Related
Hell & Heaven
Converted
Muslims

1. PARENTS RIGHTS

Important
Links

Question:
Could you please shed light on the importance of
showing respect towards ones parents in the light of
the Quran and Hadith keeping in mind the rude
behavior of children of the present times?
Answer:
Kindness to parents is mentioned as a duty of believers
several times in the Quran. There are many Hadiths
that encourage us to be very kind to our parents.
Obedience must be discriminating. We obey our
parents only in what is right and what is calculated to
please Allah. But we should be kind to them in all
situations. Allah Almighty says that if parents try hard to
persuade their son to associate partners with Allah,
then he must not obey them, but he should treat them
in this world's life with kindness.
Almighty Allah has emphasized that kindness to parents
is one of the most important qualities of believers. He
says in the Qur'an:
"Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save
Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one
of them or both of them to attain old age with thee,
say not Fie unto them nor repulse them, but speak
unto them a gracious word. (23) And lower unto
them the wing of submission through mercy, and
say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did
care for me when I was little. (Al-Isra 17:23-24).
Allah (swt) says:
"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his
parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear
him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the
command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy

parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal. (Luqman 31: 14)

"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with
Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey
them not; yet bear them company in this life with
justice (and consideration), and follow the way of
those who turn to Me: in the end the return of you
all is to Me, and I will tell you all that ye
did." (Luqman 31: 15)
Kindness to parents is mentioned as a duty of believers
several times in the Qur'an. There are many Hadiths
that encourage us to be very kind to our parents.
However, such kindness does not require a son or a
daughter to obey his or her parents in whatever they
may require of him or her. Suppose that a father asks
his son to tell a lie, give false testimony, or drink or do
something forbidden. If the son complies with his
father's wish, then he commits a sin that will not be less
grave simply because he is carrying out his father's
orders. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
said: "No creature may be obeyed in what constitutes
disobedience to the Creator."
That applies even in simple matters. Suppose a father
arrives from abroad, having bought a bottle of some
expensive alcoholic drink and he asks his son to deliver
it to a friend or a neighbor. If his son complies with his
wishes and simply takes the bottle to the person
concerned, he commits a sin, because carrying an
intoxicating drink to someone who will drink it is
forbidden. The son must refuse to obey his father in
such a situation.
Parents are also responsible for what they demand of
their children. It is not right of a father to require his son
or daughter to do something that is contrary to Islamic
principles, relying on the fact that his son or daughter
should obey him. Indeed, if the parents do that, they fail
in their duty to help their children choose only what

Islam approves. Not only so, but they forfeits his rights
to be obeyed by their children.
We must differentiate here between two things. Being
kind to parents and total obedience to them. Obedience
must be discriminating. We obey our parents only in
what is right and what is calculated to please Allah. But
we should be kind to them in all situations. Allah
Almighty says that if parents try hard to persuade their
son to associate partners with Allah, then he must not
obey them, but he should
"bear them company in this world's life with
justice (kindness)..." (Luqman 31:15).
When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
was told by one of his female Companions that her
mother, a non-believer, had come to visit her, he told
her: "Be kind to your mother."
Bukhari, Vol 8, Book 73. Good Manners and Form (AlAdab). Hadith 002. Narrated By Abu Huraira: A man
came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle!
Who is more entitled to be treated with the best
companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "your
mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet
said, "your mother." The man further said, "Who is
next?" The Prophet said, "your mother." The man asked
for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said,
"Your father."
Anyhow as per Islamic teaching, old parents are your
heaven, you can earn it by serving them and being
obedient to them in all cases except when they order
something against Islamic guidelines.
So all these explanation to your brother as it is duty of
all children to care of their parents. At the same time we
would like to mention that:

"Allh burdens not a person beyond his

scope...." (Al-Baqarah 2:286)
Allah says:
....And there is no sin for you in the mistakes that
ye make unintentionally, but what your hearts
purpose (that will be a sin for you). Allah is
Forgiving, Merciful. (Al-Ahzab 33:5)
Prophet (pbuh) is reported to have said: "The reward of
deeds depends upon the intentions and every person
will get the reward according to what he has
intended."(Bukhari)
Obeying and honoring ones parents is a means of
entering Paradise. Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased
with him) quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) as saying: "He is doomed, he is doomed, he
is doomed." Then someone said, "Who, O Messenger
of Allah?" He said, "The person whose parents, one or
both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he
does not enter Paradise." (Reported by Muslim)
Excerpted,
with
from: www.islamonline.net

slight

modifications,

As for non-Muslim parents, a Muslim is required to

deal with them honorably and kindly and to obey them
as long as such obedience doesn't lead to disobeying
Allah. Above all, clarity and transparency between us
and our parents is very much needed, even if they are
non-Muslims. Again, being a non-Muslim is not equal
to being an enemy. So deal with parents honorably,
and do entrust them to keep your stuff.

TOP

2. CHILDREN RIGHTS IN ISLAM

Question :
What are the responsibilities of parents in respect of
Children Rights? What if we are living in foreign
country and cant educate our child Islamically?
Answer :
Let us first establish that in accordance with the true
Islamic teaching, both male and female are alike in
the sight of Allah, the Almighty. Children, according to
Islam, are entitled to various rights. The foremost of
these rights is the right to be properly raised and
educated. This means that children should be given
suitable, sufficient, sound and adequate religious,
ethical and moral guidance to last them for their entire
lives. In addition to that he must be given worldly
education as much as child want to attain.
Parents Lack Of Interest
Children learn more from their parents as they are
spending their full time at home with them. So it is the
prime school for children in their early stage, as well
as stage of teenage. Parents should give maximum
time and adhere to Islamic teaching, regularly offering
all prayers (and father praying at mosques, if it is
close), reading Quran, not earning haram or eating
haram food (and of course no drinking alcohol) etc.
Treating well with child and with other family members
and friends to let him understand good moral
behaviours.
Due to lack of interest in children brought up, many
Muslim parents wake up one day and find they have a
rebellious teenager who they can't reason with, and
who is intent on ignoring everyone. Many leave home
in angry and ignore their parents completely and do
whatever they feel good. This is a sad fact nowadays,

and we should be worried about it.

Parents are responsible for children rights
Parents will be held responsible for delivering children
rights. They should be engraved with true values, the
meaning of right and wrong, true and false, correct
and incorrect, appropriate and inappropriate, so forth
and so on. Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious
Quran:
"O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your
families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and
Stones." (At-Tahreem 66:6)
. And those who believe will say: "Verily, the
losers are they who lose themselves and their
families on the Day of Resurrection. (Ash-Shura
42:45)
Allahs Apostle Mohammad (peace be upon him) also
said: "Every one of you (people) is a shepherd. And
every one is responsible for whatever falls under his
responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own
family, and he is responsible for them." (Bukhari and
Muslim).
Children, therefore are a trust given to the parents.
Parents will be responsible for this trust on the Day of
Judgement. Parents are essentially responsible for
the moral, ethical and basic essential religious
teachings of their children.
If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of
the consequences on the Day of Judgement. The
children will become better citizens and a pleasure to
the eyes of their parents, first in this life, and in then in
hereafter.
Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious
Quran: And those who believe and whose

offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We

join their offspring (in heaven), and We shall not
decrease the reward of their deeds in anything.
Every person is a pledge for that which he has
earned. (At-Tur 52:21)
Moreover, Allah's messenger, (PBUH) said: "Upon
death, man's deeds will (definitely) stop except for
three deeds, namely: a continuous charitable fund,
endowment or goodwill; knowledge left for people to
benefit from; and pious righteous and God-fearing
child who continuously prays Allah, the Almighty,
for the soul of his parents."
(Muslim)
In fact, such a statement reflects the value of the
proper upbringing of children. It has an everlasting
effect, even after death.
Unfortunately, many parents from every walk of life, in
every society, regardless of creed, origin, social and
economical status, etc, have neglected this very
important imposed right of their own children on them.
Such individuals have indeed lost their children as a
result of their own negligence. Such parents are so
careless about the time their children spend with no
benefit, the friends they associate with, the places
they go to, etc. Such parents do not care, are totally
indifferent about where their children go, when they
come back and so forth and so on, causing the
children to grow up without being any responsible and
without caring any supervision. Such parents neglect
even to instruct, direct or guide their children to proper
way of life, even right attitudes towards others.
However you may find these parents so careful about
guarding their wealth and other activities. They exert
every possible effort to lead a very successful life in
terms of materialistic gains, although all this wealth is
not actually theirs. No one will take wealth to the
grave.

Children are to be well-fed, well-groomed, properly

dressed for the weather and for appearance, welltaken care of in terms of housing and utilities.
However It is more important to offer the child
comparable care in terms of educational, religious
knowledge, and spiritual guidance. The heart of a
child must be filled with faith. A childs mind must be
engraved with proper guidance, knowledge and
wisdom. Clothes, food, housing, schooling are not, by
any means, an indication of proper care of the child.
Proper basic Islamic knowledge, education and
guidance are far more important to a child than food,
grooming and appearance.
One of the due rights of children upon their parents is
their spending for their welfare and well-being
moderately. Over-spending or negligence is not
condoned, accepted or even tolerated in Islam.
Children also have the right to be treated equally in
terms of financial gifts. No one should be preferred
over the others. All must be treated fairly and equally.
Depriving, or banning the right of inheritance, or other
financial gifts during the lifetime of the parents or the
preference of a parent for one child over the other is
considered according to Islam as an act of injustice.
Injustice definitely leads to an atmosphere of hatred,
anger and dismay amongst the children in a
household. In fact, such an act of injustice may, most
likely, lead to animosity amongst the children, and
consequently, this will affect the entire family
environment. In certain cases a special child may
show a tender care for his aging parent, for instance,
causing the parent to grant such a child a special gift,
or issue him the ownership of a house, a factory, a
land, a farm, a car, or any other valuable items. Islam,
however considers such a financial reward to such a
caring, loving and perhaps obedient child, a wrong
act. A caring child is entitled only to reward from Allah,

the Almighty.
Islam sees that if parents fulfill their duties towards all
their children in terms of providing them with
necessary training, educational backing, moral, ethical
and religious education, this will definitely lead to a
more caring child, a better family atmosphere and a
better social environment and awareness. On the
other hand, any negligence in those parental duties
can lead to the loss of a child or ill treatment of the
parents at a later age.
Child is a Blessing from God
A child is a blessing from God to the parents. You can
not make such a beautiful alive entity without
command of God. There are instances when couples
remain without a child for years and years, with no
defect to either of them, and it has also happened with
prophets. So a child is a one of the greatest gift to
parents, for that they should always be thankful to
God. However being a precious gift, it is parents
responsibility that they should raise the child
according to the guidelines Who has given this gift.
Birth of children
A child does not easily comes in this world. Mother
has to have hard labour of keeping it in her womb for
nine months. During this time she has to keep herself
well guarded from the side effects of her eating,
drinking, hard labour of home and outside jobs. Then
after birth again she has to take care of her infant life
by breast feeding (recommended in Islam) and also
keeping it clean, its natural needs of health and also
save it form ill effects of environment. For that Allah
says to the child :
"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his
parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear

him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the

command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy
parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal." (Luqman 31: 14)
Initial Child rights over Father
Following are the initial rights of child on father.
1) It is Sunnah to do tahneek for the child when he
is born: The scholars are agreed that it is
mustahabb to dotahneek with dates for the child
when he is born; if that is not possible then to
use some similar kind of sweet. The dates
should be chewed until they become soft
enough to be swallowed, then the childs mouth
should be opened and a little of the dates put in
his mouth.
2) The child should be given a good name. It is
mustahabb to name the child on the seventh
day, but there is nothing wrong with naming him
on the day of his birth
3) It is Sunnah to shave the childs head on the
seventh day and to give the weight of the hair in
silver in charity.
4) Haqiqa : Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said: Every child is in pledge for his
aqeeqah which should be slaughtered for him on
the seventh day his head should be shaved and
he should be named. (Narrated by Abu Dawood).
Two sheep should be sacrificed for a boy and one
for a girl.
5) Circumcision : It was narrated that Abu
Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The
fitrah is five things, or five things are part of the
fitrah: circumcision, shaving the pubic hairs,
plucking the armpit hairs, clipping the nails and
trimming the moustache. So if it is a boy, he

must be circumcised within this period.

Child rights over mother
That she should take care of you when you are a child,
breastfeeding and nurturing you. This is a well-known
aspect of human nature that has been handed down from the
beginning of creation.
She should bring you up in a righteous manner, for
she will be responsible for that before Allah on the
Day of Resurrection. You are part of her flock and
she is your shepherd.
It was reported that Abd-Allah ibn Umar said: I heard
the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) say,Each of you is a shepherd and
each of you is responsible for his flock. The imaam is
a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is
the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his
flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husbands
house and is responsible for her flock. .. (Narrated
by Bukhari, 853; Muslim, 1829)
Abu Hurairah narrated that a man came to Allahs
Messenger (saws) and said, "O Allahs Messenger!
Who is more entitled to be treated with the best
companionship by me?" The Prophet (saws) said,
"Your mother." The man said, "Who is next?" The
Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man further
said, "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your
mother." The man asked (for the fourth time), "Who is
next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your
father." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Allah says in Quran : "We have enjoined on
man(be) kindness to his parents, in pain did his
mother bear him, and in pain did she give him
birth." (Al-Ahqaf 46:15)

Educating the Children

The most important and lasting gift or inheritance that
we can give to our children is knowledge of Islam. It is
our duty that we should educate our children with
Islamic knowledge since as parents we are
accountable to their success and failure. The Prophet
(saws) makes it very clear that we are accountable to
our respective families/children: Abdullah ibn Umar
reported that he heard the Prophet Muhammad
(saws) saying:
"Every one of you is a guardian, and responsible for
what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his
subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a
guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady
is a guardian of her husbands house and is
responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his
masters property and is responsible for it. A man is a
guardian of his fathers property and is responsible for
it so all of you are guardians and responsible for your
wards and things under your care)." (Bukhri 3/592)
Allah says in Quran : "Your riches and your
children may be but a trial: whereas Allah, with
Him is the highest Reward." [At-Taghabun 64:15]
Since our children are but a trial and that the highest
reward is with Allah the Almighty, it is then our
responsibility to guide our children to Islam. It is only
through Islam that they can become righteous and be
of service to Allah. We pass Allahs trial once our
children worship and please our Creator. He says :
O you who believe, protect yourselves and your
families from a Fire whose fuel is people and
stone [At-Tahreem 66: 6]
The best thing that we can give to our children is
knowledge of Islam. It is the best education and the

best means to fight ignorance and drive away evil.

The Prophet (pbuh) says in the following hadith :
Amr bin Said or Said bin Al-Ast narrated that Allah
Messenger (saws) said, "A father gives his child
nothing better than a good education." (Tirmidhi and
Baihaqi)
Islam is the only religion that clearly raises the status
of the parents to a high degree and honor. In fact,
Allah in many ayyats of the Quran has commanded
us to please our parents after pleasing Him. After our
firm belief in Him, our Creator has enjoined us to treat
our parents with kindness and respect:
".Worship none but Allah and be dutiful and
treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and
orphans and those in need; speak fair to the
people; be steadfast in prayer; and give
Zakat ..." [Al-Baqarah 2:83]
Islam teaches us that it is for our success that we
must obey Allah by showing our utmost kindness and
respect to our parents. We must also obey them as
long as they do not command us something that
disobeys Allah. We have to remember that if we
please them, we please Allah. This means, that
through our parents we can attain Allahs rewards in
the eternal world:
Educating the Children should be done from the early
age, starting with the Qur'aanic memorization,
supplications, etiquettes and manners like what to say
upon sneezing, eating, sleeping, going to the toilets
etc.
They should be related stories of the Prophets of the
past nations and specifically our Prophet Muhammad
(pbuh). They must be sent to Islamic schools, which
include Quranic classes, they must be taught the

language of the Quran. One may also reward them

financially for the completion of each step in their
program. Parents should be very careful about, whom
they mix with and with whom they be friend. As
children pick up bad manners and bad language from
their surrounding, it is responsibility of parents to
make them understand, what are the effects of bad
company.
The Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)
said: The example of a good companion in
comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk
seller and the blacksmith's bellow; from the first you
would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell, while
the bellows would either burn your clothes or your
house, or you get a bad nasty smell from it.[Saheeh
Bukharee]
Abdullah ibn Mas'ud narrated: "I asked the Prophet
(saws) which deed is the dearest to Allah? He replied,
"To offer salaat (the prayers) at there early fixed
times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He
replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I
again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)? "He
replied, "To participate in jihad (religious fighting) in
Allahs Cause." (Bukhari 1/505)
We must know that Islam teaches us to show
goodness to our parents by including them in our daily
prayers that Allah may forgive them and grant them
His Mercy:
And make yourself submissively gentle to them
(parents) with compassion, and say: O my Lord!
have compassion on them, as they brought me up
(when I was) little. [Al-Isra 17:24)
The Prophet (saws) says in the following Hadith:
"A man will be raised some degrees in Paradise and

he will say, For what reason I am receiving this? He

will be told, Because of your son asking forgiveness
for you." (Bukhari 1613)
Abu Hurairah narrated that Allah Messenger (saws)
said, "When a man dies, accrual of merit in his favor
from good deeds ceases except from three actions: 1.
A charity which continues after his death; 2.
Knowledge left behind from which men continue to
benefit, and 3. Righteous offspring who pray for
him." (Muslim 4005)
With well guided child, we and our righteous children
will Insha Allah pass the real tests on the Day of
Reckoning.
Encouraging Children To Pray
Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Asr, narrated that the prophet
of Allah said, "Command your children to make salah
(prayer)when they become seven years old, and
spank them for it (salah) when they become ten years
old, and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately.
" (Abu Dawud)
Here are some advices for parents.
a) Informal teaching should start when child starts
to show interest, which usually occurs around
the age of two.
b) Let them pretend to copy salah (prayer, as they
always copy parents actions)
c) Invite them to pray along side and join the
family congregational prayer.
d) The next step is to learn al-Fatihah which should
begin around the age of three or four.
e) The practice session should only last between 5
to 15 minutes. At this age consistency is more
important than length of practice.

f) Educational products can assist parents in

achieving success with their children because
children generally learn in different ways
therefore introduction of material through
different format (video, coloring book, going to
the mosque) will help ease and reinforce the
learning process. Also their toys must be
selective, so as to avoid the unlawful.
g) One of the most important thing that a parent
should do is to praise the child for each
accomplished task and encouragement to
achieve more success.
Television is one of the biggest negative influences on
our children and is responsible for corrupting their
minds about the environment they live in. They should
not be allowed to see TV programs which are
indecent, arrogant, or of no beneficial to their brought
up. TURN TV OFF IF YOU THINK IT IS
NECESSARY.
Teaching them good manners
One cannot underestimate the importance of instilling
strong Eman in our children. Strong belief in Allah will
deter them from wrongdoings. Natural instinct often
tells us, something is right or not. Knowledge
determines right from wrong and in how to react to
problems, gives children confidence to teach others
and defend themselves.
We should never presume that our children will only
learn from the good examples of their parents only. In
the modern world, parents only spend a limited
amount of time with their children; whereas society,
other Muslims and the general non-Muslim community
all instill values and their ideologies into our children
mind, influencing their behaviour. Further TV, schools,

friends, neighbours also effect his/her mind.

Children now a days face many more hardships than
ever before with such a changing world. How can we
expect them to defend and follow Islam if they dont
really understand the hows and whys? Consistency
is the key with everything.
Children Responsibility to parents
Almighty Allah has emphasized that kindness to parents
is one of the most important qualities of believers. He
says in the Qur'an:
"Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none
save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents.
If one of them or both of them to attain old age
with thee, say not Fie unto them nor repulse
them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And
lower unto them the wing of submission through
mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them
both as they did care for me when I was little. (AlIsra : 23-24).
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one
of them or both of them attain old age in your life,
say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at
them but address them in terms of honour (AlIsraa 17:23)
If Allah has forbidden us even to say uff
[paraphrased as a word of disrespect in the
translation of the meaning of the aayah] to our
parents, then how about someone who curse, abuse
or hits them? Remember that as per one hadith, the
interpretation of which is that, even if child sees his
parents with love, he gets the reward of Hajj Mabroor
(Hajj accepted by Allah)

Conclusion and Recommendations

Knowledge of Islam tells us that by guiding our
children to Islam, we do not only respond to the duty
that Allah and His Messenger (saws) enjoin upon us
i.e., to be accountable to our children; but also, we
expect subsequent rewards for raising righteous
children. If we want our children to be righteous and
be successful Muslims, we must learn and teach our
children authentic knowledge of Islam, which is one
that is based on the Quran and the Sunnah.
For those of us who can not teach our respective
children for some reasons, who find no time or
incapable to teach their own children, it is a must that :
We send them to standard quality Islamic
schools where boys are separated from girls. If
such schools are not available in our area, then
we can opt for Islamic distance schooling or
Home Education.
Another alternative is for us parents, is to hire
competent Muslims teachers who can teach our
children Islam during weekends. To minimize
cost, we can organize weekend Islamic schools
within our community by making use of the
existing public schools. All we need is to make a
request to the school administrator for the use
of some rooms of the school buildings. If this is
not possible then, we can make use of the
existing mosques in the area.
Aside from the formal schools and/or weekend
Islamic schools, we can encourage our children
to seek knowledge of Islam by any of the
following means:
1)

Attendance to Islamic lectures, forums and

seminars,

2)

Reading books and other reading materials on

Islam,
3)

Listening to radio and television programs on

Islam,

4)

Buying books, booklets, magazines and other

reading materials on Islam,

5)

Purchasing other learning media (e.g., CDs,

Videos and cassette tapes) on Islam.

6)

Giving them proper access to the Islamic

reading materials available in the Internet (i.e.,
Islamic websites). All these various
opportunities to acquiring knowledge of Islam
are blessing from Allah, Who bestows
knowledge to whom He guides to Islam.

Parents Living in foreign countries

Islam does not forbid non Islamic schooling and
knowledge. However if for any reason, parents are
unable UPBRINGING their children in Islamic way
because they are living in a foreign country, they
should sacrifice their love to send their children to
their grand parents in Islamic country. Islam
recognizes that mother respect for child is three times
of father because of her difficulties in giving birth and
bringing him up, same way it is also part of her
sacrifice that if she thinks that her child is not getting
his due Islamic education at her residing place, then
convince husband (or husband convince wife) to send
the child to a place wherever it is possible to get good
education and Islamic behaviour. (May be grand
parents)
Remember children rights supercede your love rights
when it comes to their acquiring religious knowledge
and Islamic cultural values. Your sacrifice is in the
benefit to you and to your child, and you will get a
great reward from Allah on Judgement Day and also
here in the shape of a good Muslim obedient child.

Indeed, Allah is Most Gracious, Most Merciful, He has

opened for us various ways and means to learn Islam.
TOP

3. ISLAMIC WAY OF RAISING CHILDREN

Question:
Could you please clarify in detail the Islamic way of
raising children?
Answer :
Indeed, Allah creates children with pure innate nature,
and whatever defects that happen later is the result of
bad education. The Prophet, peace and blessings be
upon him, is reported to have said: Every child is born
on Fitrah (mans innate disposition to monotheism), his
parents make him Jewish, Christian or a fire
worshipper. (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
That is why Islam has ordered parents to take care of
their children and to bring them up according to the
Islamic manners.
Focusing more on the very interesting question you
have raised, we would like to cite the following:
Allah Almighty has entrusted parents with their children.
Parents bear the responsibility to raise up their children
in the Islamic way. If they do that they will be blessed in
this life and in the Hereafter, and if they don't, they will
get bad result during their life and in the Hereafter.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is
reported to have said: All of you are guardians and all
of you are responsible for things under your
guardianship; the ruler is a guardian (managing his
states affairs) and he is responsible for things under his

care, the man is a guardian over his family and

responsible for them, the woman is a guardian of her
husband's house and she is responsible for it. All of you
are guardians and responsible for things under your
control. (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did not
excuse any one from responsibility that Allah has put on
every individual to build the Islamic society: the ruler is
responsible: the man and woman are responsible.... all
within their capabilities, domains, and authorities... and
the loss of Islam from our Muslim Ummah these days is
nothing but a result of the neglect of responsibility.
Men and women, fathers and mothers share the
responsibility to raise up, educate, and build the new
generation in the correct method and the right way.
Man has in him the good and bad tendencies, so
parents must encourage and grow the good tendencies
in the child so he can become a useful person that
helps himself and his people. Referring to this, Allah
Almighty says: O' you who believe, protect
yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel
is men and stones . (At-Tahreem 66:6)
The protection of yourself and your family from Hell-Fire
won't be with anything but good education, the practice
of good morals, and the guidance to nobility.
Islam does not distinguish between male and female
with regard to the education requirements. The Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have
said: Whoever has a daughter, tutors her on good
morals, educates her well and feeds her properly; she
will be a protection for him from Hell-Fire.
What do we mean by good education? The good
education means the physical, mental and moral
preparation of the child so he can become a good

individual in the good society.

Methods for Moral Upbringing:
1) Showing the values of good deeds and their
effects on the individuals and society; also
showing the effects of bad deeds, all within the
child's capability of understanding.
2) Parents should be a good example in their
behavior because children like to imitate their
parents in their sayings and their deeds.
3) Teaching the child the religious principles and
tutoring him in worship, taking into account the
child's capability of understanding. The Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to
have said: Order your children to pray at the
age of seven.
4) Treating children nicely and kindly. The Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) taught us
that practically. When he was praying as an
Imam with the people, his grandson Al-Hasan,
son of his daughter Fatimah, may Allah be
pleased with them rode his back while he was
bowing. The Prophet, peace and blessings be
upon him, lengthened his bow. When he finished
his prayer, some attending Companions said,
You lengthened your bow? Then the Prophet,
peace
and
blessings
be
upon
him,
answered, My grandson rode my back and I
hate hastening him
5) One of the important things that parents must
teach their children is to choose the good
company and to the avoid the bad one, because
children are always influenced by the company
they keep. The bad behavior can be easily
transmitted through bad company. So the

Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him,

warned us by saying,Man is inclined to get
influenced by his friend's manners, so one must
be careful in choosing friends. (Reported by Abu
Dawud & At-Tirmidhi)
6) Encouraging the child's sense of belonging to
the Muslim Ummah, by teaching him of the
brotherhood between Muslims, teaching him to
care for Muslims in any land, and that he is part
of the Muslim body, to feel joy when Muslims are
joyous, to feel sad for Muslims' sadness, and to
do best to achieve the Muslim Ummahs
goals. All of this can be done practically
through:
A. Taking
children
to
Mosques
and
introducing them to their brother in Islam
regardless of race, language, or origin.
B. Teaching the children the history of the
Prophet, peace and blessings be upon
him, and his Companions and the history
of Islam, bearing in mind the child's
capability of understanding.
C. Encouraging children to sympathize with
Muslim problems and to contribute to the
solutions such as the poverty problem and
to donate some money to the hungry
Muslim children.
D. Taking part in the celebrations and festivals
with Muslims, and sharing picnics and
creating ties with their Muslim brothers of
the same age.
7) Building in children the feeling of love of Allah,
His Prophet, Muslims, and all people. This love
will lead to special behavior towards all those

loved.
These are general guidelines to raise our children
Islamically, so every Muslim must take care of his
children and know the correct path that must be
followed. This will help us to do the job we are
entrusted to do as Allah prescribed, as well as the
responsibility the Prophet, peace and blessings be
upon him, has clarified, with aim of protecting the future
generations of Muslims, as Allah Almighty says: And
Say Do deeds! Allah will see your deeds, and (so
will) his Messenger and the believers. And you will
be brought back to the All-Knower of the unseen
and the seen. Then He will inform you of what you
used to do (At-Tawbah 9:105)
Excerpted,
with
from: www.islamonline.net

slight

modifications,
TOP

4. PARENTS UNISLAMIC BEHAVIOUR

Question:
I have a very difficult time dealing with my family. I
disagree with their actions because I feel they are
unislamic. Talking it out is not a solution because it
goes no where. What should I do?
Answer:
Your duty as a good Muslim in this matter is two folds:
1-

You have to give your parents ultimate respect and

treat them with kindness because they are your
parents. This kind of respectful treatment is
actually an act of worship and it is also an order
stated by Allah Himself in the Quran (refer to Surah
al-Israa 17: 23-25). No snapping at them or raising
your voice at them. The only time you are allowed

to disobey them is when they ask you to do an act

that is a disobedience to Allah, such as not to pray
or not to fast etc.
2-

You have to keep inviting to Islam in the most

effective way, and this way varies between one
person and the other; so you should find the one
that works best with them. Never give up because,
first of all, it is always very difficult to bring change
to the people who are closest to you, and second,
because the Muslims duty is to invite people to
Islam regardless of the outcome. The outcome
comes from Allah, but the duty is to work for the
goal. Be patient and ask Allah with all your sincere
heart to guide your parents.

TOP

5. MOTHERS: IS HEAVEN UNDER THEIR FEET?

Question :
Islam stresses the position of the parents and that they
must always be treated with respect. Is it true that
heaven is under the feet of mothers and that if a mother
is alive she can protect us from punishment by God
with her day and night supplication for our protection? It
is said that when one's mother dies, this protective
umbrella is no longer available. Please comment.
Answer :
The statement that heaven is under the feet of our
mothers is figurative rather than literal. What it means is
that a dutiful son is more likely to earn God's pleasure
by virtue of his mother's continued supplication for him
to be guided by God in everything that is of benefit to

him and to his community. Moreover, exerting oneself in

trying to please one's mother makes a son or a
daughter a better person. They put their mother's
happiness above their own pleasure. That is the least a
mother deserves after spending many years looking
after her children. It is not right to say that a mother
protects her children from God's punishment because
of her supplication. If her children are disobedient to
God, then nothing can protect them.
It is their good deeds that, with God's grace, can save
them from punishment for past sins. There is no doubt
that dutifulness to parents is a good deed which is richly
rewarded by God, but this is how far it goes. People
normally exaggerate matters, and their exaggeration
can give them false ideas [when they take the figurative
expression to mean a factual event]. To speak of an
umbrella of protection from God which lasts as long as
the mother is alive is one such false idea.
[It is understandable, though, that supplication by the
mother of a dutiful son or daughter is more likely to be
answered by Allah and in that way it will provide him/her
with protection against evils. This should never be
construed to mean that one can go around indulging in
sins and hope that mother's supplication will keep
Allah's punishment away.]
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah )
TOP

6. DISOBEDIENCE TO PARENTS: A MAJOR SIN

It is the right of parents that their children should treat
them with kindness, obedience, and honor. Devotion to
parents is a natural instinct which must be strengthened
by deliberate actions. The rights of the mother are
stressed more because of her suffering during
pregnancy and childbirth, her suckling of the child, and
her role in rearing it. In the words of Allah Ta'ala: And

We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents.

His mother carries him in pain and she gives birth
to him in pain, and (the period) of carrying him and
weaning him is thirty months.... (Al-Ahqaf 46:15)
There are many hadiths in this respect:
Once a man came to the Prophet (peace be on him)
and asked, 'Who is most deserving of my good
companionship?' 'Your mother,' replied the Prophet
(peace be on him). 'Who next?' the man asked. 'Your
mother,' replied the Prophet (peace be on him). 'Who
next?' he asked. 'Your mother,' replied the Prophet
(peace be on him). 'Who next?' asked the man. 'Your
father,' replied the Prophet. (Reported by al-Bukhari
and Muslim.)
The Prophet (peace be on him) declared disobedience
to parents to be a major sin, second only to ascribing
partners to Allah, as has been stated in the Qur'an. AlBukhari and Muslim report his saying, 'Shall I not inform
you about the three major sins?' Those who were
present replied, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allah.' He said
'Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to
parents,' and sitting up from the reclining position, he
continued, 'and telling lies and false testimony; beware
of it.'
He also said, "Three persons shall not enter the
Garden: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the
pimp, and the woman who imitates men.'' (Reported by
al-Nisai, al-Bazzar on the authority of excellent
transmitters, and al-Hakim)
and, "Allah defers (the punishment of) all sins to the
Day of Resurrection excepting disobedience to parents,
for which Allah punishes the sinner in this life before his
death."(Reported by al-Hakim, on the authority of sound
transmitters.)

Moreover, Islam emphasizes treating parents kindly,

especially when they grow old. As their strength fails,
they require more attention and care, and more
consideration of their even more sensitive feelings.
Concerning this the Qur'an says, Thy Lord hath
decreed that you worship none but Him and that
you be kind to parents. If one or both of them attain
old age with thee, do not say a word of
annoyance (Literally, Do not say Uff, an expression of
annoyance) to them nor repulse them, but speak to
them in gracious words (23) and in mercy lower to
them the wing of humility and say, My Lord, bestow
Thy mercy othem, as they cherished me when I was
little .... (Al-Isra 17:23-24)
TOP

7. CUSTODY OF CHILD IF A DIVORCED WOMAN

REMARRIES
Question :
I am divorced and my x-wife. My x-wife has remarried
to a Muslim. We have four sons ages 1, 3, 5, & 7. I
have requested majority custody of our sons, but she
has refused and has made it very difficult for me to visit
with our sons. What are my rights and obligations under
these circumstances?
Answer : Praise be to Allah .
The mother has more right to custody of her children
before the age of seven so long as she does not
remarry, in which case the right passes to the one who
is most entitled to that after her, because Ahmad (6707)
and Abu Dawood (2276) narrated from Abd-Allah ibn
Amr that a woman said: O Messenger of Allah , my
womb was a vessel for this son of mine and my breasts
gave him (milk) to drink, and my lap was a refuge for
him, but now his father has divorced me and he wants
to take him away from me. The Messenger of Allah

(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her:

You have more right to him so long as you do not
remarry. This hadeeth was classed as hasan by alAlbaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
It is obligatory to allow the father to see his children and
to ask how they are, whether they are in the custody of
the mother or of someone else.
Because the mothers right to custody is lost when she
remarries, then it should be given to the one who is
most entitled to that after her. There was some
difference of opinion among the fuqaha as to who has
more right after the mother. Some scholars said that the
right passes to the mothers mother. Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah was of the view that the father has more
right than the mothers mother, on which basis custody
should be given to father. Al-Sharh al-Mumti, 6/26,
complete edition).
Similarly if the mothers mother is a kaafirah or an
immoral person, then custody must be given to the
father, even according to those who say that the
mothers mother has more right than the father.
It should be noted that what is meant by custody is
keeping and raising the child. Hence a persons right to
custody is lost if he is immoral and corrupt, or careless
and heedless, or if he travels a great deal which will
harm his childrens interests.
The parents should cooperate in this matter, and pay
attention to the childs interests, so that their disputes
will not adversely affect the children.
There is no Quranic verse concerning this matter which
specifies who is more entitled to custody, but the
following verses should be sufficient for the Muslim:
.And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad)

gives you, take it; and whatsoever he forbids you,

abstain (from it). And fear Allah ; verily, Allah is
Severe in punishment (Al-Hashr 59:7)
It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah
and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they
should have any option in their decision. And
whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he
has indeed strayed into a plain error (Al-Ahzaab
33:36)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) ruled that the mother loses the right to custody if
she remarries, as stated in the hadeeth quoted above,
so the believing woman has to accept that and submit.
Maintenance of children is obligatory upon the father
according to scholarly consensus, whether he keeps his
wife or divorces her, and whether the wife is poor or
rich. So she is not obliged to spend on the children if
the father is around.
If the children are in the custody of a divorced woman,
then their father must support them, and the mother
who has custody of a child who is still breastfeeding
has the right to ask for payment for nursing the child.
If one of the parents fails to educate the child and raise
him in accordance with Islamic teachings, then he/she
is sinning and has no guardianship (wilaayah) over
child. Anyone who does not do his duties as a guardian
has no guardianship.
And Allah knows best.
Excerpted, with slight modifications,
from: http://islamqa.com/
TOP

8. BRINGING UP OF DAUGHTERS

Daughters in Muslim society are cared from the very

beginning. They are treated as a gift and blessing of
God, and it is parents responsibility to raise her with
chaste and get her educated and married with right
person. She should be given knowledge of Islam (as
much as possible) along with the education of present
society. They are raised with special care of her
modesty, even she is never seen naked in her infancy
and childhood by her father or brothers. She is well
clothed (not exposing her body parts figures expressly)
when she is getting adult. Also getting her known the
requirement of a girl respect, safety and keeping away
from non mahram men till married.
Parents have great responsibility and reward for
upbringing children.
"O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your
families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and
Stones." (At-Tahreem 66:6)
The pious and good children will be left over fro them
who will pray Allah for them after their death.
Allah's messenger, (PBUH) said: "Upon death, man's
deeds will (definitely) stop except for three deeds,
namely: a continuous charitable fund, endowment or
goodwill; knowledge left for people to benefit from;
and pious righteous and God-fearing child who
continuously prays Allah, the Almighty, for the soul
of his parents." (Muslim)
There is very high reward for girls upbringing and
getting them married.
One who trains and educates 3 or 2 daughters or
sisters out of fear of Allah, will go to Paradise (even if
the number is one)

Bringing up of daughters is a test; one who passes the

test will be safe from Hell
So parents are given good news of getting heaven in
reward for upbringing girls and getting them married.
Can you imagine such reward in western thinking. No,
not at all, because over there girls are exposed to
whatever they like, specially no care of their modesty
and virginity.
TOP

9. REWARD FOR RAISING THREE DAUGHTERS

Question :
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said: Whoever has three daughters and is patient
with them and gives them to drink and clothes them, they
will be a protection for him against the Fire. Will they be a
protection against the Fire for their father only, or will their
mother have a share in that too? I have three daughters,
praise be to Allah.
Answer : Praise be to Allah.
The hadeeth applies to both the father and the mother.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) also said, Whoever has two daughters and treats
them kindly, they will be a protection for him against the
Fire. The same applies if he has sisters or paternal or
maternal aunts etc., and he treats them kindly, we hope
that he will attain Paradise for that. For when he treats
them kindly, he deserves a great reward and to be
protected from the Fire, so he will be kept away from
the Fire because of his good deed.
This applies only to Muslims, because if a Muslim does
these good deeds seeking the pleasure of Allah, he will
have earned salvation from the Fire. There are many
means of gaining salvation from the Fire and

admittance to Paradise, so the believer should try to

attain many of them. Islam itself is the only means and
is the basic cause of gaining admittance to Paradise
and salvation from the Fire.
There are actions which, if the Muslim does them, he
will enter Paradise and be saved from Hell, such as
taking care of daughters or sisters, then they will be a
protection for him against the Fire. Whoever dies
leaving behind three little ones who have not yet
reached the age of puberty, they will be a protection for
him against the Fire. They said, O Messenger of Allah,
what about two? He said, And two. They did not ask
him about one. It was narrated in a saheeh report that
he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said: Allah says, if I take from My slave the one whom
he loves most in this world and he bears that with
patience seeking reward from Me, he will have no less
a reward than Paradise.
So Allah explains that the believing slave has no less a
reward with Him than Paradise, if He takes one whom
he loves of the people of this world, and he bears that
with patience and seeks reward. One of our little ones
is included in this hadeeth, if Allah takes him and
causes him to die, and his father or mother or both bear
that with patience and seek reward, then they will have
Paradise. This is a great bounty from Allah. The same
applies to husbands, wives and all other relatives and
friends, if they are patient and seek reward then they
are included in this hadeeth, so long as they take care
to avoid anything which could prevent that, such as
dying committing major sin. We ask Allah to keep us
safe and sound.
Majmoo Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwiah li
Samaahat al-Shaykh al-Allaamah Abd al-Azeez ibn
Abd-Allah ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him),
vol. 4, p. 375.

TOP

10. PARENTS DUAA AGAINST CHILDREN

Question :
What is the ruling on parents duaas against their children,
which are sometimes said with no reason. Are they
answered?
Answer : Praise be to Allah.
Children are one of the blessings of this worldly life, as
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
Wealth and children are the adornment of the life
of this world . (Al-Kahf 18:46)
They are the apple of their parents eye, the joy of their
hearts, so how can they pray against them?
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) forbade praying against ones children, ones
wealth and ones own self, lest that be at a time when
duaas are answered. He (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) said: Do not pray against yourselves, do
not pray against your children, do not pray against your
wealth, lest that coincides with a time when Allah is
asked and He gives, so He answers your prayer.
Narrated by Muslim (3014).
The parents duaa for or against his child is answered.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) said:Three prayers are undoubtedly answered:
the prayer of one who is wronged, the prayer of the
traveller and the prayer of a father for his
child. Narrated by Ibn Maajah (3862); classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth alSaheehah (596). The version narrated by Imam Ahmad
says: the prayer of a father against his child.

A mistake that is made by many fathers and mothers is

that they pray against their children if the latter do
something that makes them angry. What they should do
is pray for them to be guided and for Allah to set their
affairs straight.
By His mercy, Allah does not answer the duaa of
parents against their children, if it is at a time of anger,
because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
And were Allah to hasten for mankind the evil
(they invoke for themselves and for their children,
while in a state of anger) as He hastens for them
the good (they invoke) then they would have been
ruined. So We leave those who expect not their
Meeting with Us, in their trespasses, wandering
blindly in distraction (Yoonus 10:11)
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his
Tafseer (2/554):
Here Allah tells us of His forbearance and kindness
towards His slaves, for He does not answer them when
they pray against themselves or their wealth or their
children at moments of anger. He knows that they do
not really mean any ill, so He does not answer them out
of kindness and mercy, as He does when they pray for
themselves or their wealth or their children for
goodness, blessing and growth. End quote.
And Allah knows best.
Excerpted,
with
some
from: http://islamqa.com/en/

modifications,
TOP

11. CHILDREN ISLAMIC EDUCATION IN THE WEST

Question :

How do we as Muslims living in the west maintain an Islamic

Education for our children. Primary and secondary education
upto the age of 15/16 may be provided in Muslim schools
(which are also very expensive), but as for Higher Education
there is no such Islamic Institute. Even on the secondary
school level on the agenda of Curriculum, we do not have
books that deal with the branches of knowledge that are
available in secular institutes, such as; Political science,
Sociology, Psychology, Pedagogy.
Please advise on how we should go about bringing about an
Islamic Education system for our Youth. In the west (bearing
in mind that it is near Impossible for us to migrate to
Arab/Muslim countries because of the restrictions on
immigration etc.)
Answer : Praise be to Allah.
In order to preserve the structure of the Muslim family in
the kaafir countries, we need to meet a number of
conditions and requirements, both within the home and
outside it:
Within the home:
It is essential for parents to uphold the habit of praying
regularly in the mosque with their children; if there is no
mosque nearby, then they must pray in jamaaah at
home.
1. They have to read Quran and listen to its recitation
daily.
2. They must eat meals together.
3. They must speak in the language of the Quran as
much as they can.
4. They must uphold the good manners prescribed by
the Lord of the Worlds for families and in social
settings; these include those that are to be found in

Soorat al-Noor.
5. They should not let themselves or their children
watch immoral and corrupt movies.
6. Their children have to sleep at home and should stay
home as much as possible, to protect them from the
influences of the bad environment outside. They
should be very strict in not allowing their children to
sleep outside the home (sleepovers).
7. They should avoid sending their children to
universities far from home where they would have to
stay in university accommodation, otherwise we will
lose our children, who will be assimilated into the
kaafir society.
We have to be careful to eat only halaal food and the
parents must avoid using all kinds of haraam things
such as cigarettes, marijuana and other things which
are widely available in kaafir countries.
Outside the home:
1. We must send our children to Islamic schools from
kindergarten to the end of secondary school (high
school).
2. We must also send them to the mosque as much as
possible, to pray Jumuah and other prayers in
jamaaah, and to attend lectures, halaqahs and
study circles, etc.
3. We must establish educational and sporting activities
for children and youth in places that are supervised
by Muslims.
4. Fathers and mothers should strive to go to the Holy
Places to perform the rituals of Umrah and the
obligations of Hajj, accompanied by their children.

5. Training children to speak about Islam in simple

language which adults and children, Muslim and
non-Muslim, can understand.
6. Training children to memorize Quran and sending
some of them if possible to a Muslim Arab
country so that they can gain an understanding of
the religion, then come back to be daaiyahs who are
equipped with knowledge of Islam and the language
of the Quran.
7. Encouraging children to marry early so as to protect
their religious and worldly interests. We have to
encourage them to marry Muslim girls from families
who are known for their religious commitment and
good attitudes.
8. We have to avoid using the number 9/11 and calling
the police to come to the house to resolve conflicts.
If conflicts arise, we must get in touch with a
responsible member of the Muslim community or
with wise Muslims to help resolve the conflict.
9. Not attending parties where there is dancing, music
and singing, or joining in celebrations of immorality
or the festivals of kufr; stopping our children, with
wisdom, from going to church on Sundays with
Christian students.
And Allah is the Source of strength and the Guide to the
Straight Path.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Excerpted,
with
some
from: http://islamqa.com/en/

modifications,
TOP

12. UNLAWFUL CHILD BEFORE ACCEPTING ISLAM

Question:
If she committed zinaa when she was not Muslim and
had a child, then she became Muslim, what should she
tell other people and the child himself?
Answer: Praise be to Allah.
Zinaa (fornication or adultery) is a crime that is
forbidden by divine laws and rejected by all wise and
sane people, even if they are not Muslim. Allah has
condemned those who do this in many aayaat of the
Quraan and in numerous ahaadeeth of His Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). He has
threatened those who do this with severe punishment
and disgrace in this world and the next except those
who repent, have faith and do righteous deeds, for Allah
will accept their repentance. The gate of repentance is
open, but it is a condition of repentance that one should
regret the deed and give it up. Islam wipes out
whatever came before.
With regard to the child, he belongs to his mother, and
should not be named after his father. This is the ruling
concerning the illegitimate child: he should not be
named after his father because he was conceived in
fornication, not in wedlock. It is obligatory to take care
of this child and bring him up with Islamic manners and
morals. Because this immoral act has occurred, you
must repent from it, but you should cover it up and not
disclose it; you do not have to tell the people the truth. If
the child wants to know the truth, you can tell him in an
appropriate manner, and let him know that what
happened was in the days of kufr (before you became
Muslim), and that when a person repents and becomes
Muslim, this wipes out whatever happened before.
The child does not bear any responsibility for what
happened, and as long as his mother has become
Muslim, there is no grounds for rebuking or punishing

her. It is obligatory to accept the will and decree of

Allah, and if this child does righteous deeds he will
enter Paradise. No soul is made to bear the burdens of
another.
We ask Allah to keep you safe and sound and to forgive
you.
Excerpted,
with
some
from: http://islamqa.com/en/

modifications,
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