EASTER

SUNDAY
“The Church of the
Wonderful Now”
By Steven Donnini

Copyright 2009
Steven Donnini

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Easter Sunday at the Wood County Baptist Church, known as

“The Church of the Wonderful Now”, is as in all small towns

in the deep south things start early. It’s not just

another Sunday church service. First of all everyone must

show their best public face which isn’t easy when people

live so far apart from one another. Out here people who

have emotional problems become eccentric before their time.

But during holidays families revert to their last best

behaviors. Even the Larva family come out in style. With

Madame in a new full flowered Easter Dress and traditional

lavender bonnet to match. Everyone has some piece of new

clothing for the occasion including 13 year old Fly who is

a covered with shades of Orange. Throughout the church

parking lot flower hats with a springtime theme abound

transforming the church into a field of Texas wild flowers.

Madame Larva and the family Bob, DB, Fly and Madame

struggle into the church parking lot just behind Rev. Dr.

Jackson’s polished black Cadillac SUV which disappears

behind the church like a funeral parlor delivery truck.

Peaches the family cat is laying across the dashboard of

the 1980 Chrysler Le Baron station wagon. Peaches is

crying for a treat.

Bob Larva says, “Jesus Christ Margaret can’t you make that

cat shut up?”

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Fly is so excited to see the Rev. she yells out. “There he

is Jesus’ friend, Dr. Jack.”

Bob responds, “He’s just another bull shit artist trying to

get our money. Don’t be so stupid. You’re an

embarrassment. Just keep your mouth shut and don’t give

him any money that’s Madame’s job. Besides everybody’s

watching to see how much she will put in the offering

basket.”

Madame, “I’m going to get a envelope and put an offering in

it so no one will know.”

Bob, “Just don’t put my name on it. You remember like you

did last time.”

Madame, “That was just a joke.”

Bob, “Still the Mayor snooped inside and gave me the evil

eye.”

DB just 19, is still half asleep in the backseat. “I ain’t

got no money.”

Bob, “We all know you ain’t got no brains ether. So why

would you have any money? Go back to sleep I like you

better that way.”

Madame looking around at the family, “There’s only one day

a year, well maybe two, when I expect you all to behave and

live up to the Larva name. So, shut your traps and pay

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attention to what the Rev. Dr. Jack has to say, cause it

has to last until next Christmas Eve.”

Bob, “Yeah like your mother says shut you traps. Don’t say

anything to the Mayor he’s on my shit list.”

Fly, “You said shut up already.”

DB, “Shut up.”

Fly, “You shut up.”

Madame, “I’ll say who should shut up. Shut your pie hole

Bob.”

Bob, “OK. Jesus. Minga.”

DB, “What’s Minga mean anyways?”

Bob, “Like Minga that’s a big hat on that woman.”

DB, “Oh, like WOW. Minga is Spanish but means wow in

English?”

Bob, “Not always. It can mean Oh shit.”

He hits DB in the back of the head.

They park the car and make their way thru the drizzling

rain to the other families pushing through the church door.

DB limps in and stops to talk to a schoolmate James who has

become a biker.

He asks, “What have you been doing?”

James, “Working at the Circle K on Interstate 20.”

DB, “I bet you meet some cool chicks there.”

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James, “Yeah, lots of pussy comes in for gas and to use the

bathroom.”

DB, “So you see some real fine stuff? I wish I had your

job.”

James, “Yeah, I could become a manager in a few years.”

As the congregation files into the pews The church organist

is playing a traditional song. “Oh, what a friend I have

in Jesus.”

The Larva’s find seats together Madame, Fly, Bob and DB.

Fly loves to sing loudly. But her tone deafness has causes

her to be shrill and annoying to people sitting in the pew

in front of her. Madame leans over to her ear and yells,

“Shut up.” But Fly continues singing. Everyone has turned

around to see what the commotion is all about.

Fly is enthusiastic about singing the song. Madame takes

off her lavender high healed shoe and whacks Fly on top of

the head. There’s a skull cracking sound that stops the

music and singing. Rev. Dr. Jack postures with his open

arms out to Fly, her eyes fixed on him. Then she says,

“Obla do bomba de Fernando. Gig de tank oh to lingo.”

Rev. Dr. Jack says, “Lord save us. We have a demon in our

presence. Bring the child to me. The power of Jesus is

going to drive the devil from this child.”

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Madame helps Fly to her feet and down the pew to an usher

who escorts her to the Rev. Dr. Jack.

He continues, “Come here you beast. The Lord has a few

words for you. I say, praise the Lord. Now, Jesus will

drive you from this his Holy Temple and throw you into a

lake of eternal fire and damnation.”

Rev. Dr. Jack puts his hands on the sides of Fly’s shaking

head and says, “You are the evil one that lives in all of

us. Last year, when I was blamed for doing horrible acts

to those younglings, who accused me of such things? They

are no longer here. God commanded his all powerful Jesus

to banish them and their ugly thoughts for blasphemy.

Fly, “I’ve been bathed in the blood of the lamb. Just like

you brother. Halleluiah.”

Rev. Dr. Jack, “I say Halleluiah brothers and sisters.”

A person yells out, “Praise the Lord.”

Rev. Dr. Jack, “Heal this child in the name of our savior

Jesus Christ. This demon has been banished to hell.

Praise the Lord. Halleluiah.”

The music starts playing and the Rev. Dr. Jack raises his

arms up to the heavens. Fly comes out of her rigid state,

grabs Rev. Dr. Jack’s microphone from his hand and begins

to sing, “What a friend I have a in Jesus.”

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The congregation comes to its feet singing and clapping to

the music.

Bob says to DB, “I told her to keep her trap shut.”