ROLE MODELS AND ONLINE MENTORING

I think mentoring is an understanding between two or more people. It is a way for people to learn from
each other. Even though most think mentors are older, I think it's a bond and no matter age, race, or
gender. It's a way for people to communicate!
Kristene Burns-Saraiva
Participant, Roots and Wings

Who is a Role Model?

True role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have and those who have
affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people. To advocate for ourselves and our goals
and take leadership on the issues that we believe in. We often don't recognize our true role models
until we have noticed our own personal growth and progress . . . I think that I serve as a temporary
role model to my younger sister but she just doesn't want to admit it yet. :) Herminia
I think mentors should be role models, BUT a role model who hasn't forgotten where s/he came
from, how s/he got to where s/he is now and always looking back to see if s/he can help those
that came from the very same place. Jeanette
My mother influenced me to not set limits on what I could do. She had an A.A. in commercial art but
she had to give up her idea of a career because my dad was a carpenter and we moved around a lot. I
had a teacher in Junior High who inspired me to try to live up to my potential. What she did was pull
me aside one day and pointed out to me that if I would apply myself a little harder I was capable of
getting straight A's. I didn't take her advice right then, but it gave me quite a boost and started me to
thinking and paying more attention. She had been a forest ranger before she was a teacher and she
shared a lot of her experiences with her students. I was very impressed by her life. I was the new kid
in school and she spent extra time with me to help me out. I was real shy and buried in books at that
age. When she jumped on me for being lazy I definitely sat up and took notice. I believe the best roles
models make us see the possibilities within ourselves. Shirley
Lately, I have been privileged to have some very young role models. I have been influenced by
the vitality and passion that young women have in making their lives and the lives of others
better. I find that there is so much to learn from our youth but unfortunately, we often forget
that. Martha
I believe a person has many role models in their lives. Each role model teaches a person about
themselves . A role model to me is someone who not only treats me as an equal but is honest,
trusting, and most of all open-minded especially in todays society. We live in a society that really
doesn't allow one to be different . A role model DARES you and themselves to be different. Kristene

I think a good role model encourages me to believe I can get to where she is. Maureen
I have numerous role models, from my daughter, who reminds me what is really important in life, to my
boss and dear friend, who encourages me to think and use the power of my voice and the strength of
my fist. My mother has always taught me that you can be anyone or anything you want to be and my
sister showed me what courage really was. Jessica
I believe people who are role models know that they are, whether they like it or not. It is their
behavior that people look up to. It is their leadership qualities that others want to see and
model. It is the smile that they give to others. It is the look you get. All of the above.

(unattributed)
If you are out in the community, your community, you are being looked at. All the good things you do
reflect yourself and your family. Who said life was fair? We are here to take care of one another and if
it means modeling healthy behavior, then someone has to do it. Go for it. This is taught to us by our
parents, respected community person or other family member, etc. Irma
To me I think a Good Role Model is a person who tells, or influences you to make the right
choice in life. Like for example my mother she always tells me "youre not gonna get nowhere
in life until you prove it to yourself" whatever that means (huh). But if I didn't have anyone like
my mother to remind me everyday. . . I might be that lazy, oh lazy young lady rocking in my
chair, doing nothing for myself but, getting old. But YES my mother is the greatest role model
for me. Why? The answer is that she believes in everyone has a dream like Dr.King said . . . My
mother a fine role model for me and my sisters. Lina
I think role models have changed over the generations. People used to describe their role models as
being people they didn't know i.e. movie stars and athletes. Now, (evident by this discussion) people
tend to find role models that are in some way or another involved in their lives. I think this is great, and
it emphasizes one of my favorite sayings, "It takes a village to raise a child." Nikki
I think the other piece about a role model that is important is that it is not just someone who
you look up to or is successful, but someone who has had to go through similar struggles/
challenges as we. Noa

I agree with everyones ideas about what a role model SHOULD be and what characteristics they
SHOULD have, but to give someone the label of being a role model is telling them that you are, or you
would like to use them as an example to young children and other people who "are not on the right
track" and basically saying that you should "be like" or consider "following his/her foot steps". What I'm
getting at is we need to take the other persons feelings into consideration for example: I would never
consider myself a role model for the simple fact that I have problems of my own and I feel pressured,
and I'm not perfect; it just so happens that I stumbled upon the most wonderful opportunity, and was
empowered to make my own decisions in life to set my goals. I found my passion and I plan to build
my future around my goals. In conclusion I would just like to encourage people to not just slap a label
on anyone. Regena
Whether you like it or not the choice you make or stumble upon make you who you are. YOU
are MAKING those choices, whether they are right or wrong and it doesn't look like they are
steering you in the wrong directions. I always tell people, whether you like it or not people are
looking at you, for better or worse. Its hard, but somebodys got to do it. And when you fall,
they will be there to say "I told you so." Good lesson learned and you keep right on going.
Irma
Gena, I agree it's hard to label people a role model, but i just think of it as a friend we look up to or
learn things from. Usually those are people who are a little older cuz they explain their insights so well,
but then again my peers are also role models, like you Gena, cuz it reminds me that young people like
myself go thru problems sometimes and still keep goin. i think that as long as someone is honest and
doesn't pretend to know all the right things to say or do, then that's the best example!

Also, I have to mention my Beautiful Mother as my personal and all time shero. Everytime that I start
to feel sorry for myself, I think of all the shit she's been thru and worked at, and put up with, and
survived, and sacrificed, and accomplished. She had to come here to the U.S. only knowing my father
and when my dad turned out to abuse alcohol and beat my mother, she had no where to go 'cuz he
was the only person she knew and she was an "immigrant" so she just stuck it thru and slowly
independized herself she learned to drive, saved money, established residency and finally left my dad
with our support (me and my sisters). And even still, she had to deal with my sisters and mine attitudes
while growing up - I just love her so much and try to show her that everyday a little more. Kaira
Points well taken! I guess it's just the Big word ROLE MODEL. I have to admit as much as I hate
to label people you grrls are right. I know people are watching me whatever I do. I guess that's
why I strive so hard to be the best at whatever I do, I more so liked the word Kaira used
"Example." Basically I think that Role Model sounds so demanding, and example is making
more of a statement like you can do it too (more humble I guess). Regena

Who do you most admire? A former teacher, a world leader, a neighbor, your boss? As
adults, we tend to give little thought to the idea of having a role model, as we regard
this to be a quality that children seek from the adults in their lives. However, if you stop
and consider who most influences you now, and why, youll no doubt agree that the
people you admire now are giving you your most important life lessons.
Role models who uphold high ethical or moral values are typically not the people whose
stories make it to the press or social media. Weve all been exposed to public figures who
might qualify as anti role models. Their antics may include being aggressive toward
paparazzi or admitting to abusing illegal drugs. Being bad is just plain sexier than being
good. Unfortunately, because these are the public figures who get the most attention, its
easy to lose your own moral compass and come to believe that you too will get more of
what you want in life if you act out every once in a while.
Studies of aggressive learning in children show that through a process known as vicarious
reinforcement, we start to model the behavior of individuals whose actions seem to be
getting rewarded. In vicarious reinforcement, your tendency to commit a behavior that
someone else gets praise or attention for increases almost as much as if you were actually
getting the rewards yourself. Unless the public figure whos acted out is thoroughly and
utterly disgraced and then completely disappears from public view, vicarious learning
will occur in those exposed to that public figures actions. Most of the time, though, these
people do anything but disappear. After the usual mea culpas, the media forgive them
and we, the public, come away with the lesson that anyone can achieve redemption and
make a profit at the same time.
In your personal life, you may also see plenty of anti-role models. Consider work
settings. Perhaps one of your bosses has a reputation for sliding around the edges of rules
or best practices. Youve been at meetings where the boss brags about how he sold faulty
merchandise to a client or how she misled a customer into agreeing to a shady deal. You
may come away from these meetings thinking that the way to get ahead is to engage in
similar acts of questionable ethics. Taking a page from your supervisors playbook may

provide you with a clear path to the top. It feels wrong at first, but if its ok for your boss,
then it must be right.
What about the opposite situation? Youre at a staff meeting where one of your fellow
employees admits to one of those questionable dealings. Instead of offering
congratulations, your supervisor expresses concern and disappointment. Through the
process of vicarious reinforcement, you acquire the expectation that if you were to
engage in this behavior yourself, bad things would happen to you just as they did to your
coworker. Your supervisor, then, has acted as a role model showing that certain behaviors
are acceptable and others are not. If you want to get to the top, youll have to learn to
climb the ethical ladder.
Managers learn to be ethical or not from someplace, but the question is where and how?
In a study published in June 2013, Pennsylvania State University-Erie researchers
Michael Brown and Linda Trevio investigated the steps that lead managers to be
perceived by their supervisees as decent human beings who have something to teach them
in other words, being an ethical leader. Earlier work led them to believe that to be
perceived as an ethical leader, the individual must be seen as a moral person who is
honest, trustworthy, caring about people, open to input, respectful, and able to make
principled decisions. To be moral managers, they must use leadership tools that include
providing rewards, disciplining others when necessary, communicating clearly, and
letting their employees know that they themselves must maintain ethical standards.
When employees have ethical leaders, they like them better. Just as importantly, they will
behave in more positive ways within the organization. Clearly, its to everyones
advantage to have supervisors who are positive role models.
Brown and Trevio reasoned that ethical leaders probably werent born that way nor did
they dream it up themselves. Most of us dont come equipped with a clear set of ethical
standards on our own. We receive lessons from others, to a certain extent, but its more
likely that we acquire our moral sense through vicarious processes. These researchers
believed that one way people become ethical leaders is by having ethical role models
when they are young. The learning they receive as children becomes the foundation for
being an ethical leader as an adult.
Mentors are a second source of learning to be ethical leaders. When they take us under
their wing, those who guide us in the workplace, or even those who work side-by-side as
co-workers with us show us, again through vicarious learning, that we ourselves need to
be honest and fair in our dealings with others.
The third way to learn how to be an ethical leader, Brown and Trevio argued, is by
observing top managers. Those who have made it to the ranks of executive have
legitimacy afforded to them by virtue of their status. Furthermore, when those at the apex
of the hierarchy are ethical, they communicate these expectations to their underlings who,
in turn, pass down the lesson that youll be rewarded for being honest, direct, and fair.

To find out which combination of childhood role models, mentors, and top managers
produces the greatest impact, Brown and Trevio surveyed 217 managers and 659 who
reported directly to them in a large nationwide insurance company. They asked the
managers to rate the quality of their ethical role modeling in childhood, the degree to
which they felt they had been ethically mentored, and how ethical they perceived their
own top bosses to be. Their supervisees, in turn, rated the ethical leadership shown by
their managers in their own day-to-day dealings.
Nearly all of the managers surveyed reported that they had ethical role models as
children. However, having a positive childhood role model had no impact at all on how
ethically their supervisees perceived the managers. Instead, the employee ratings of the
ethical leadership style of their managers rested most heavily on whether the managers
reported that, as adults, they had been ethically mentored. In fact, the older the managers
were, the stronger the effect of having ethical mentoring on their leadership style.
It makes sense that the older you are and the longer youre in the job, the less effect your
childhood role models will have on you and the more powerful will be the role models
you have in your work. Ethical adults may shape your character as a young person, but
the more youre out in the world, the more likely it is that your current role models will
be the ones to shape your attitudes.
The Brown and Trevio study shows that having adult role models, then, directly impacts
not only how you perceive yourself but, just as importantly, how others perceive you. If
those around you have questionable ethics, and seem to be getting away with it, youll
eventually unlearn even the most morally upright values you acquired as a child.
This was a study based on the workplace, but it may not be too much of a stretch to apply
the findings to other areas of life. Our childhood ideals are constantly being tested when
successful (in whatever way you define it) relatives and neighbors brag about how
theyve put the screws to business associates, abused a romantic partner, or took
advantage of one of their friends or close relatives. Maybe they lied about an insurance
claim after an accident and now are able to take an expensive vacation on the proceeds
and gleefully relay this story over the holiday dinner table. You cant help but think, even
if just so slightly, that maybe theyre onto something.
You also learn from the famous CEOs whose unethical business dealings get them in the
headlinesthe inside traders, the bank fraud perpetrators, and those who in general serve
violate the public trust. On the other hand, you also learn from ethical public figures who
speak out against fraud, theft, and abuse of power. When you see a business mogul
donate millions to charity (and not just as a tax write-off) you start to think that maybe
this is behavior that you should consider emulating.
Just because weve become adults doesnt mean that were impervious to ethical
influences, both good and bad. We may not even be able to identify precisely the ways in
which weve been affected. The process of vicarious learning is such that it occurs
outside of direct conscious awareness. No one may be telling you to act ethically, but

when you see ethical behavior rewarded, your mind draws its own conclusions and
ultimately may direct you to follow suit.
One of the inspiring messages from the Brown and Trevio study is that people actually
prefer to have ethical leaders. When you play fair, communicate directly, and in general
demonstrate that you hold high standards, other people actually do look up to you. If for
no other reason than to be liked and respected, taking the moral high ground may be the
one that ultimately benefits you as well as those who look up to you as their inspiration.
Copyright Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. 2013
Reference:
Brown, M. E., & Trevio, L. K. (2013). Do role models matter? An investigation of role
modeling as an antecedent of perceived ethical leadership. Journal Of Business Ethics,
doi:10.1007/s10551-013-1769-0
A role model is a person other people look up to in order to help determine appropriate
behaviors. Role models can be either positive or negative. Positive role models offer a
range of helpful or useful behaviors. Negative role models, on the other hand, offer
examples of harmful or disruptive behaviors.
Virtually anyone can be a role model but in Western culture, publicly visible figures such
as athletes, actors, musicians and politicians are the most common examples. Other
common role models include members of the clergy, police officers and parents. Most of
these people can be considered either negative or positive role models depending on their
behaviors. Other people such as drug dealers and gang members can be considered
almost exclusively negative because of the behaviors they display.
As the sample list of role models suggests, visibility plays an important part in making
someone a role model. The most visible examples, like athletes or actors, involve
individuals for whom public visibility is part of the job. Since many people can observe
these individuals' behaviors, it is likely people will imitate their behaviors and attitudes.
While people of all ages may choose to emulate a role model it is generally young people,
who are still developing their own identities, who are of concern to people discussing role
models.

Important Developments in the Social

Sciences
As one would suspect, social scientists continue to find the concept of role models
fascinating. The term role model comes from sociologist Robert K. Merton, whose
work centered on social groups. Merton discovered that rather than modeling individual
behaviors, people tend to model sets of behavior. These sets of behavior are drawn from
behaviors demonstrated by people who occupy certain roles in society.

Behavior sets that are modeled may contain contradictory ideas that do not necessarily
work well together. Instances of a role model displaying one set of ideals and then being
caught living according to another set of ideals are not uncommon--all this behavior is
part of the same set. This is why people are concerned about how role models live their
not-so-private lives. A role model's display of antisocial behavior may be added to the set
of behaviors emulated by people who admire them. Merton's work on role models
emphasizes highly visible individuals' behaviors and how people who look up to them
react to such behaviors.
One of the biggest challenges I faced in my early adult life was the lack
of a mentor or a role model for many aspects of my life, particularly
the financial aspects. My life was completely different than what I had
experienced growing up, thus I couldnt draw on childhood examples.
Most of my friends were mostly young, single professionals bent on a
materialistic lifestyle, thus providing some pretty terrible role models
for good financial habits. The people I viewed as mentors or as heroes
were also not particularly known for the financial acumen. Luckily, over
time, I was able to find the right people to listen to and, in some ways,
emulate.
Almost all of us, consciously or not, have heroes, role models, and
mentors in our lives. We identify people who share some values with
us, then use their behavior and ideas as an input for what we should be
doing. The challenge is to find people whose values and actions
match our deeply held beliefs. This seems obvious at first, but its
something that Ive personally had a very challenging time with and I
know many others have had a challenge with, too.

Taking Advice From Others: Three Groups of

People
Heroes
Heroes are people I dont know. I come across their teachings from
media sources and try to absorb as much knowledge from them as I
can. Usually, these are people who have walked, at least in part, a

similar path to mine at some point in their life and have built
something great from it. People in this group might include Warren
Buffett, Dave Ramsey, Peter Lynch, and the like I usually review their
books on The Simple Dollar, for example.

Role Models
Role models are people I know and observe, but dont ask questions
of. These are people I observe succeeding in life and doing it in a way
that settles well with my values. They offer ideas for behavior in their
actions and reaffirm to me that I can be successful by making those
choices. I have several of these.

Mentors
Mentors are role models that I choose to approach and talk to about
the things on my mind. These people often are role models that I feel
very comfortable with or associate with regularly, and they often
become close friends over time. I have several of these, too, thankfully.
Heres some advice for finding these people in your own life, using
what they can teach you, and putting it in the right context.

Advice for Finding and Benefitting From

These People
1. Start off with the people you respect,
even if you cant figure out exactly
why you respect them.
Dont use your peers or friends right now as heroes or role models
unless you already have a deep level of personal respect for them.

Identify the people you truly respect, identify where that respect
comes from, and use them as a hero or role model or mentor for that
area.

2. Absorb as much as you can.

The more you absorb, the closer youll get to the core principles of the
behaviors of the people you respect, and thats really what youre
seeking. Heroes and role models and mentors are there to help you
grow as a person, and the best way to do that is to watch for behaviors
you like and respect and figure out why these behaviors happen. When
you start to really understand why theyre doing this, youll often find
that the underlying logic begins to appear in your own life youve
grown as a person.

3. Use people as role models for specific

aspects of your life, not your whole
life.
I wholly respect Warren Buffett for his investment skill, philanthropy,
and personal finance philosophy and use him as a role model in some
financial aspects of my life, but I dont view him as a moral leader, for
example.

4. If a mentor or role model says or does

something that doesnt ring true with
what you personally believe or value,
dont follow your mentor blindly.
No one is absolutely right and you need to find your own path in life.
Dont just blindly follow what someone else says apply what you
already know and your pre-existing sense of whats right and wrong to
what theyre saying. Thats not to say you shouldnt try out new ideas,

just that you shouldnt absolutely follow every word that comes from
your mentor or role model.

5. Recognize when youre adopting ideas

and behaviors you dont respect.
When I was in college, I adopted a post-doctoral student as something
of a role model. He seemed to really have his life figured out, from my
perspective: he truly loved the research he was doing and spent his
free time following whatever intellectual whims took him at the
moment. For a long time, I yearned for that kind of life and I worked
hard to try to make something like it my own.
Over time, as I emulated that behavior and listened to his advice on
how to get through school and such, I eventually began to dislike what
I was doing. I was rejecting a lot of relationships that were very
important to me so I could focus on research. Even worse (and this was
a glimmer of things to come), I found myself spending a lot of my own
money on activities and things that superficially seemed right, but
actually didnt fill any real purpose in my life. I paid to attend
enlightening concerts that really didnt speak to me, I purchased
books that I would leaf through and then basically leave unread
because they seemed weighty, and so on. Eventually, I realized that
although there were aspects of this person that I respected a
lot, he was not a great role model or mentor for me.

6. Dont be afraid of the anti role

model.
Along with having some heroes and role models and mentors in my
own life, I have a set of anti role models as well people who operate
with value sets and ideas that I personally despise. Rather than
ignoring these people, I often give them some thought as well, trying
to understand the behaviors that I reject as well as the ones that I

admire. Again, when I begin to understand the root cause behind

behaviors that I dont like, I grow as a person.

7. This is about you, no one else.

Make your own judgments. If everyone else is advocating a persons
advice or blindly participating in hero worship, yet you dont see whats
so great about it, dont follow along with the herd. Figure things out for
yourself, and youll be just fine.
A good role model should be someone who is selfless, often putting others before
themselves. A good role model should recognize the struggles against the injustices of all
people and help in whatever way possible.
A good role model should strive to make the world they live in a better place. A good role
model should be able to admit their mistakes and truly make amends for them.

What You Need

Finding a role model is not a difficult thing to do. The first step is to ask yourself why
you feel the need for a strong influence in your life. There are many ways those that we
admire impact our lives. They help us learn to carry ourselves with pride and confidence,
teach us better ways to handle different situations, show us how to treat others, and help
us stay connected to a faith that supports our spiritual life. Very often these people give us
a different perspective which allows us to discover strengths we were not aware we had.
Role models can be the best route to self awareness.

Role Model Defined

A role model is a person who is admired for their positive qualities. These qualities define
a role model differently for each person. Role models can be defined as a person that has
survived situations you are struggling with, such as addiction, divorce, raising children or
health issues. They can also be chosen because of their overall view of life and its
significance. Spiritual guidance is often a reason for choosing a particular person to guide
us through lifes challenges. A shared interest can also be a factor in the search for a role
model. Finding someone with a strong character and positive values to share that interest
can create a bond that can truly impact your life. Discovering someone with these types
of qualities can have a huge effect on your outlook and your actions.
Role models who others imitate, emulate or look to for guidance. There
are good role models who inspire greatness in others and bad role models
of what we call a "bad influence." There are even anti-role models,
pegged by the media as "bad girls" or "bad boy" is a good example of
what NOT to do if you want to be successful, respected.

Every parent wants their children to have positive role models who have
characteristics that inspire them to want to be (and become) their best.
While there is some variation in the definition of each of the parents
about what it means to be a good person, the following 7 characteristics
remain constant.
Positive role models;
(1) Model positive choice-making: the little eyes are watching and
little ears listen. When it comes to being an example, you should be
aware that the choices you make not only affect you, but also children
who regard you as their superhero. One day, they will be in the same
predicament and think to themselves, "What did s / he do when s / he is
in a similar situation?" For example, you cannot just "talk the talk"
and tell others to make good choices. You have to put them into action
alone.
(2) Think aloud: When you have difficult choices to make, allow children
to see how you work through the issues, weigh the pros and cons, and
make decisions. The process of making good decisions is a skill. A good
role model not only will show the child the best decision, but also how
they arrived at that conclusion. That way, children will be able to
follow the reasoning that when they are in the same situation.
(3) Apologize and admit mistakes: Nobody is perfect. When you make a bad
choice, let those who watch and learn from you know that you made a
mistake and how you plan to fix it. This will help them to understand
that (a) everyone makes mistakes, (b) it is not the end of the world,
(c) you can make it right, and (d) You need to take care of and directly
responsible. By apologizing, admitting your mistakes, and fix the
damage, you will demonstrate the important but often overlooked role
models.
(4) Follow through: We all want the kids to stick with their commitments
and follow through with their promises. But as an adult can sometimes be
difficult to demonstrate follow through when we are tired, distracted,
busy, or overwhelmed. To be a good role model, we must demonstrate
stick-to-itiveness. That means: (a) timely, (b) finish what you started,
(c) do not stop (d) keeping your word, and (e) keep going even when
things get tough. When role models follow through with their goals,
teach children that it can be done and help them adopt the "if s / he
can do it, so I can" attitude.
(5) Show respect: You may be driven, successful, and smart but whether
you choose to show respect or not speaks volumes about the kind of
attitude it takes to make it in life. We always tell kids to "treat
others as we would have" however, cannot follow the axiom that
ourselves. Are you stepping on someone else to get ahead? Do you take
people for granted? Do you show gratitude for others? It's often the
little things that make you the biggest difference in how children see
how to succeed in business and relationships.

(6) Be well rounded: While we do not want to spread ourselves too thin,
it is important to show the children that we can be more than one thing.
Great role models not only the "parent" or "teacher." They are great
students and challenge you to get out of their comfort zone. You might
be a father who is also a student of martial arts, a great cook and a
valuable friend. You may be a mother who is a talented dancer and a
curious photographer. When children see that their role models can be
many things, they will learn that they do not need to pigeon-hole
themselves in order to be successful.
(7) Demonstrate confidence in you: Whatever you choose to do with your
life, be proud of who you've become. This may be a long road, but it is
the responsibility of a role model to commemorate the lesson, gather
strength, and character development. It is true, we can always improve,
and however, children need to see that their role models do not suspend
their confidence until they reach "a victory over" or "lose 5 pounds
more." We have to keep trying when you're happy with how far we've come
at the same time.
While it may seem like a lot of pressure to be positive role models, no
one is expecting you to be superhuman. We certainly do not expect that
the behavior of children who are looking to us for guidance.

ChapterThe term role model

Being seen as a role model is not a universally appealing prospect. For some it suggests
an expectation of perfection, the risk of being put on a precarious pedestal or the
possibility of being seen as arrogant. This may explain the reticence expressed by a
number of the participants when asked why others might view them as successful. In
contrast, they were relaxed and eloquent when invited to talk about the women they saw
as admirable or inspiring. As a result, we decided to blend these responses together, so
that we could paint a more comprehensive picture of what it means to be a successful
female role model.

The inevitability of being seen as a role

model
Being a woman means I am a role model - like it or not.
Jane Clarke

If there are fewer of you in the workplace, it is an uncomfortable fact that you will be
more conspicuous. For women, this heightened visibility tends to increase with seniority,
as their numbers diminish. It is therefore somewhat inevitable that people will be
watching and making value judgements about how a woman does her job, like it or not. A
younger colleague, for example, is likely to be observing her example to pick up clues
about how things work and what it takes to get on.
It is also important to note that someone need not be senior to be a role model in fact it
is imperative that role models exist at all levels of an organisation to positively affect its
culture. An operational manager, or group leader, is likely to have greater day-to-day
impact on those around them than the most senior people in the institution.
To an extent we are all role models, irrespective of intent, on the basis that we exercise
influence over others through our behaviour. The women involved in this book are rolemodelling types of success just by who they are and how they approach their working
lives. Becoming aware of, and accepting, this reality presents an opportunity to become
more intentional with the effect we have on others. In essence, the choice is not about
whether someone wishes to be a role model or not, but rather about what kind of role
model they want to be.
And of course its not just women who influence other women. Most people tend to work
with composite role models, learning from a wide range of individuals that they see as
admirable in some way. Although the focus of this chapter is on the qualities of
successful female role models, it is important to note that many of the women involved in
the book described men as having been some of their most formative and positive
influences. A couple of participants were also very clear that they didnt feel that the
gender of their role models was relevant to them in any way.

I have to say that most of my role models have been men!

Fiona Karet

The qualities associated with successful

female role models
The summary of role-model qualities with illustrative quotes seen on the following page
is based on the attributes that the women in the book valued most either in themselves or
in the people that they admired. It therefore signposts those qualities likely to be
appreciated by colleagues, whilst also signalling the behaviours most clearly linked with
the definition of success that is emerging from this book. These qualities, presented in no
particular order of priority, are not however intended to form a shopping list, which
requires every item to be ticked off before a person can be judged to be successful.

Instead, it can help individuals and organisations think about the qualities they value most
highly and how they can create the conditions to make them commonplace. Inevitably
and reassuringly there are also significant overlaps with trends and themes you have
already seen emerging in previous chapters.

undefined

Role-model quality

undefined

Illustrative quotes
undefined

undefined

Integrity

I certainly dont play power games, but

this hasnt prevented me from doing well in
my field.

Demonstrates self-awareness with insight into

Margaret Robinson
their own values, sticks to principles, consistent,
kind and courteous.
Be authentic, summon support, find likeminded others, do what you believe in, trust
Track record of honesty and fair treatment of
your instincts, take up offers of intellectual
others.
and other support/friendship, never
compromise your basic values or identity.
Does the right thing even when its not popular.
Alison Liebling

undefined

Relationship-focused

undefined

My students like me because no question

Strong interpersonal skills, empathetic, with the is too stupid to ask, and I support the notion
that there is no shame in getting things
ability to
wrong.
communicate well.
Good connectors and collaborators, able to
engage others, often using humour and
enthusiasm.
Generous in supporting and developing people.
Prioritises relationships and makes time for
them.

Rebecca Simmons

She always cared about more than just the

professional me.
Nathalie Walker

undefined

undefined

Authority and
leadership

(I am) ready to listen to various sides of

the argument, but also to make firm
decisions. I try not to pull rank but to take
responsibility where it falls to me.
Judith Lieu

Influential change-maker, able to challenge the

status quo as well as to be diplomatic.

An inspiring leader who commands

Authoritative and responsible, with capacity to
respect in a male environment without
inspire respect from colleagues both male and
either losing, or playing upon, her
female.
femininity.
Politically astute, calm under pressure and
willing to make tough calls when needed.

Ruchi Sinnatamby

undefined

Inclusive
Proactive, visible advocate for more inclusive
workplaces.

undefined
I am particularly proud of being a role
model not only for women, but also for
mature students.

Exercises influence and demonstrates

commitment to gender equality.
Puts time into supporting women and
encouraging their
development.

Patricia Fara

Gender issues matter a lot to me, and Ive

wanted to play a role in related work in the
University.
Emma Wilson

Invested in progressing broader diversity matters

beyond
gender.
undefined
undefined

Pioneering

I still find myself in places where one can

be forgiven for thinking women have yet to
be invented. Pointing this out with grace
and humour, but more importantly
Pushes the boundaries and makes new ground, a
attempting to remedy it is just one small
first of some kind.
example of the many interventions that
senior academic women can make in

working towards a 50:50 society.

Inspirational in showing the way and proving
whats possible especially (but not exclusively)
for women.
Demonstrates different routes to becoming
successful and from a range of backgrounds.
Does things differently, able to take risks.

Theresa Marteau

Ive very often been the only woman on

committees etc. Chairmen vary enormously
in how they regard me. In some cases I was
clearly a nuisance. It often feels that I need
to be twice as good to make the same
impact as the next bloke.
Claire Barlow

undefined

undefined

Accessible and fallible

Often it is women of a similar age to

myself who inspire me, and help me to feel
that the inevitable corners I cut on both
fronts (work and home) are understandable
Demonstrates range of human strengths and
weaknesses, open about imperfections, willing to and justified.
learn and grow.

Rosanna Omitowoju

A realistic and accessible role model for others,

ordinarily extraordinary.
Influential and helps to set the organisational
tone, irrespective of seniority.
undefined

High-quality work and

attitude

I want to show my children that anything

is possible if you work hard enough for it.
Suzie Stoodley

undefined
I find her success in world-class science is
an inspiration. The fact that she has done
this without acquiring masculine traits and a
ruthless attitude is even more impressive.

Jane Goodall
Known for producing top work that has
significant impact on their area whether locally
I do not simply accept the status quo: I
focused or with global reach.
often try to improve systems, restructure the
department etc.
Determined work ethic, highly competent with
Sarah Smith
ability to prioritise.

Enthusiasm for their subject; has the imagination

and creativity to see things differently and solve
problems.
undefined

undefined

Rounded
Manages to effectively integrate personal and
professional aspects of life.

I admire them for being professional about

their work, whether they are researchers,
computer officers, academic staff or
administrators and technicians. I admire
them for their commitment
to finding a good work-life balance so that
they can approach their work with energy,
determination and enjoyment, but also find
time for the things that motivate them
outside their work, whether that
be music, travel, sport or family.

Able to accept when good enough is sufficient

to make it work, ensures they make time for
family and friends.
Has outside interests, which may include
physical, intellectual, community and creative
pursuits.

Rachel Fogg

Some of my best ideas come to me in the

middle of Jazzercise or karate! Being
around my children helps me put a better
perspective on life so a disastrous day at
work where nothing has worked is quickly
forgotten about. This keeps me fresh for the
next day!
Jennifer Hirst

undefined

Confident and
authentic

undefined
Women who have been able to be
themselves (apparently) and keep their end
up politely.

True to themselves, who they are and what they

Claire Barlow
stand for, strong sense of self, at ease with and
able to co-exist alongside disparate others.
She listens intently, and has such an ability
to assimilate and process information, and
then to make up her own mind and stick to
it.
Clear sense of gender as part of who they are.
Alice Benton

Has own voice rather than imitating others.

undefined

Resilient

undefined

Her bravery in tackling such extreme and

Tenacious, persistent and can withstand pressure. offensive sexism on behalf of all women in
the public eye.
Capacity to work with challenging situations and
people.
Courage to take a stand and put head above the
parapet for important issues.

Liz Hide

Knowing my brief, listening carefully,

seeking collaboration, harvesting support
and having resilience and courage to do the
difficult things when necessary.
Carol Black

Able to handle failures and recover from

knockbacks.

The add-on principle

In reviewing the qualities captured in the table above, and considering what it means in
practice to be a role model, we were struck by what we have called the add-on
principle. This describes the cumulative expectation and repeated use of and that came
with seeing someone as admirable. For example, some women were described as
academically or professionally brilliant and full of integrity and skilled at making time for
their family. This suggests a richness and roundedness in what women valued and saw as
successful. They seemed less inclined to view someone as impressive if that person
displayed just one of these qualities in abundance, but failed to exhibit any others. Given
that we only spoke to women for this book, we are not in a position to say whether men
would require a similar breadth of attributes, or whether they would be more comfortable
viewing someone as successful based on the strong demonstration of a single aspect. It
would be interesting to see if other research could shed a light on any differences between
the genders in this regard.
The darker side to the add-on principle is that it suggests someone needs to attain an
extraordinarily high standard before being viewed as truly successful. It was also
noticeable that participants seemed to be more exacting in applying these criteria to
themselves than to others. This streak of perfectionism holds the potential to drive high
performance, but when overplayed also risks unhelpful distortions in self-assessment.

The value of role models

There is something fundamentally generous about a person accepting that they are a role
model. In effect, they are seeing that their influence can extend beyond themselves and
their own careers to impact on others. But role modelling is as much an exercise in
organisational commitment as it is a matter of individual effort. If role models have the
potential to signpost the way to a more inclusive future culture, whilst also having a
positive impact on the current one, then how can organisations take best advantage of
this? They need to think hard about who they typically see as role models, why and
whether they are sending the right messages by the way they hold up particular people as
success stories. Role models who are given profile and visibility are great indicators of
who an organisation values most and this can provide a kind of institutional audit of the
range and diversity of individuals who are viewed as successful. If this range is too
narrow, focuses just on the most senior, concentrates on one group over another or indeed
lacks sufficient women, then there is room for progress and an insight into where that
needs to take place. Ultimately, role models of the kind found in this book can inspire,
embody and accelerate change so any organisation would do well to find them and give
them a platform.
- See more at: http://www.cam.ac.uk/women-at-cambridge/chapters-andthemes/chapter-4-admired-qualities-and-role-models#sthash.qONCnvm2.dpuf

Top Five Qualities of Role Models

The top five qualities of role models described by students in the study are listed below.
These qualities were woven through hundreds of stories and life experiences that helped
children form a vision for their own futures. In a poll of 50 adult Facebook readers of this
blog, these same qualities were mentioned as adults reflected on their own role models.
The biggest difference was that adults did not rank commitment to community as high
as their younger counterparts. They also mentioned qualities like compassion,
fearlessness, and listening skills. By far, the greatest attribute of a role model is an ability
to inspire others.

Passion and Ability to Inspire

Role models show passion for their work and have the capacity to infect others with their
passion. Speaking of several of his teachers, one student said, Theyre so dedicated to
teaching students and helping students and empowering students. That is such a
meaningful gesture. They are always trying to give back to the next generation. That
really inspires me.

Clear Set of Values

Role models live their values in the world. Children admire people who act in ways that
support their beliefs. It helps them understand how their own values are part of who they
are and how they might seek fulfilling roles as adults. For example, students spoke of
many people who supported causes from education to poverty to the environment. Role

models helped these students understand the underlying values that motivated people to
become advocates for social change and innovation.

Commitment to Community
Role models are other-focused as opposed to self-focused. They are usually active in their
communities, freely giving of their time and talents to benefit people. Students admired
people who served on local boards, reached out to neighbors in need, voted, and were
active members of community organizations.

Selflessness and Acceptance of Others

Related to the idea that role models show a commitment to their communities, students
also admired people for their selflessness and acceptance of others who were different
from them. One student spoke of her father, saying He never saw social barriers. He
saw peoples needs and acted on them, no matter what their background or circumstances.
He was never afraid to get his hands dirty. His lifestyle was a type of service. My father
taught me to serve.

Ability to Overcome Obstacles

As Booker T. Washington once said, Success is to be measured not so much by the
position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which one has overcome. Young
people echoed this sentiment, showing how they developed the skills and abilities of
initiative when they learned to overcome obstacles. Not surprisingly, they admire people
who show them that success is possible.

One student shared a story

of a young man she met in Cambodian while on a service-learning project with her
school. He is an incredibly hardworking individual who has faced unimaginable
obstacles in his life, yet continues to persevere to support his family and encourage his
community. He survived the Cambodian genocide. He earned his education in a system
where those who succeed are the ones who bribe officials. He has dedicated his life to
give back to his community. Wow! What an individual; and the best civic role model!
Research studies have long shown a correlation between role models and higher levels of
civic engagement in young people. Positive role models are also linked to self-efficacy,

the ability to believe in ourselves. In fact, the young people in my study admitted that had
they not learned to believe in themselves, they would not have been capable of believing
they could make a difference in the world!
Children develop as the result of many experiences and relationships. Role models play
an important role in inspiring kids to learn, overcome obstacles, and understand that
positive values can be lived each day. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle,
teacher, civic leader, clergy member, sports coach, after-school program leader, or a
person who just happens into a childs life, you have the ability to inspire!

New Research on Youth Role Models

As a followup to this article, please read How Role Models Influence Youth Strategies for
Success. New research shows that young people choose role models based on the
mindsets they develop toward accomplishing their goals! Based on their mindsets, they
will choose either positive or negative role models.
Sources
Bandura, A. (2001). Social cognitive theory: An agentic perspective. Annual Review of
Psychology, 52, 1-26.
Jennings, M. K., & Niemi, R. M. (1981). Generations and politics. Princeton, NJ:
Princeton University Press.
Kahne, J. E., & Sporte, S. E. (2008). Developing citizens: The impact of civic learning
opportunities on students commitment to civic participation. American Educational
Research Journal. doi: 10.3102/0002831208316951
Price-Mitchell, M. (2010). Civic learning at the edge: Transformative stories of highly
engaged youth. Doctoral Dissertation, Fielding Graduate University, Santa Barbara, CA.
Zukin, C., Keeter, S., Andolina, M. W., Jenkins, K., & Carpini, M. X. D. (2006). A new
engagement? Political participation, civic life, and the changing American citizen.
Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press

Moral
A good role model has high moral values. Research conducted by developmental
psychologist Marilyn Price-Mitchell and reported on her website, Roots of Action, found
that children respect those who practice what they preach. Role models who support
worthwhile causes and who are willing to act on their beliefs help children develop and
strengthen their own values. Role models behave ethically and demonstrate honesty.

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Confident
Most people admire those who project confidence. Good role models have a healthy
appreciation of their accomplishments. They are able to acknowledge their skills and
achievements without becoming arrogant. Child development specialist and author Dr.
Robyn Silverman suggests on her website that healthy self-confidence manifests as pride
in who you are and what you've learned throughout your life.

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Hardworking
Role models demonstrate their commitment to a desired goal and are willing to invest the
necessary time and effort to achieve success. They don't give up easily and they persevere
when confronted by obstacles. Their passion to succeed inspires youngsters to follow
through and reach the goals they set for themselves. Olympic athletes, for example,
motivate others through their dedication.

Respectful
In order for role models to be influential, they must show respect for others. Young
people appreciate being treated with respect and admire those who treat them and others
that way. Role models who demonstrate selflessness and a democratic, non-prejudiced
view of those different from themselves earn the admiration of others.

Optimistic and Creative

Role models inspire others with an upbeat, optimistic outlook on life. It's unlikely that
anyone would want to emulate a pessimistic individual. Role models tend to see the
bright side in difficult situations and can find creative solutions to their problems. For
example, a community leader faced with a financial setback might welcome the

opportunity to organize a fund-raising project that pulls everyone together in a

constructive manner.
Role models help children develop specific skills and values. As a parent, you become a
role model, whether you want to or not. As a role model, you must think about the effects
your actions will have on your childs values and skills. You should understand how you
differ from a mentor, which qualities are necessary for development, why showing by
example is important -- and most importantly -- why your job as a role model is
necessary for a prosocial society.

(Purestock/Purestock/Getty Images)

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Role Model or Mentor?

All mentors are role models, but not all role models are mentors. It sounds like a
statement in a high school logic class, but this statement holds true in parenting. Although
mentors explicitly tell children how to act, role models use implicit teaching -- meaning
that a role model will show by example rather than by teaching directly.
For example, a role model father can show his daughter emotional intelligence by
controlling his temper while waiting in an incessantly long line. Because he is showing
by example, he doesn't need to state, We should be patient while waiting in line
because his actions have already said that for him.
Qualities of a Role Model
The qualities of a good role model could be longer than your weekly grocery list. But
arguably the most important of which can be narrowed down to a few broad categories.
As a role model for your child, you should be acting in ways that help your child have an
enriching childhood. Her childhood should also enable her to modify and improve her
behavior as she develops.
A good role model should act in the following ways. She should make children feel
safe, show children unconditional love, allow children a suitable level of independence,
help children form quality relationships, discuss values, request accountability and show
pride for her child's achievements.
Lead by Example
Psychologist Nancy Eisenberg describes role modeling as the key to raising a prosocial
child. She states that preaching without modeling is virtually fruitless, because children
learn values from watching what their role models do in social situations. So, what
society as a whole does and what role models do individually are inherently linked -- the
actions you show your child will be reflected in your child's behaviors.
Children Learn Social Skills
Besides food, water, and shelter, children need good role models. Without good role
models, children don't have a way to learn social skills. Much of a childs self-confidence
comes from his role models. By having one or two consistent guides from whom to learn
values, a child will not be confused by the ever-present mixed signals that are
commonplace outside his home. For example, even if a child goes to school with
classmates who dont commonly say "Sorry" or "Thank you" if his parents use these
phrases, he will also likely say these phrases.

Read more : http://www.ehow.com/about_5318913_qualities-good-rolemodel.html

A role model is someone whose behavior is imitated by others. Of course, there are good
role models and bad role models. There is even the counterintuitive anti-role model who
behaves so badly that s/he serves as a good example of what NOT to do.
We all hope that children have good, strong role models who possess the kind of qualities
that make our sons and daughters want to be (and become) better people. While there is
some variation in every parents definition of what it means to be a good person, the
following 7 characteristics of a positive role model remain constant.
Positive role models;
(1) Model positive choice-making: Little eyes are watching and little ears are
listening. When it comes to being a role model, you must be aware that the
choices you make dont only impact you but also the children who regard you as
their superhero. Someday, they will be in the same predicament and think to
themselves, What did s/he do when s/he was in the same situation? When you
are a role model its not enough to tell your charges the best choices to make. You
must put them into action yourself.
(2) Think out loud: When you have a tough choice to make, allow the children to see
how you work through the problem, weight the pros and cons, and come to a
decision. The process of making a good decision is a skill. A good role model will
not only show a child which decision is best, but also how they to come to that
conclusion. That way, the child will be able to follow that reasoning when they are
in a similar situation.
(3) Apologize and admit mistakes: Nobodys perfect. When you make a bad choice,
let those who are watching and learning from you know that you made a mistake
and how you plan to correct it. This will help them to understand that (a) everyone
makes mistakes; (b) its not the end of the world; (c) you can make it right; and
(d) you should take responsibility for it as soon as possible. By apologizing,
admitting your mistake, and repairing the damage, you will be demonstrating an
important yet often overlooked part of being a role model. (This point began some
great conversation on parents and role models in the comments below and here.)
(4) Follow through: We all want children to stick with their commitments and follow
through with their promises. However, as adults, we get busy, distracted, and
sometimes, a bit lazy. To be a good role model, we must demonstrate stick-toitiveness and self discipline. That means; (a) be on time; (b) finish what you started;
(c) dont quit; (d) keep your word; and (e) dont back off when things get
challenging. When role models follow through with their goals, it teaches children
that it can be done and helps them adopt an if s/he can do it, so can I attitude.
(5) Show respect: You may be driven, successful, and smart but whether you choose
to show respect or not speaks volumes about the type of attitude it takes to make it
in life. We always tell children to treat others the way we want to be treated and
yet, may not subscribe to that axiom ourselves. Do you step on others to get
ahead? Do you take your spouse, friends, or colleagues for granted? Do you show
gratitude or attitude when others help you? In this case, its often the little things

you do that make the biggest difference in how children perceive how to succeed
in business and relationships.
(6) Be well rounded: While we dont want to spread ourselves too thin, its important
to show children that we can be more than just one thing. Great role models arent
just parents or teachers. Theyre people who show curiosities and have varied
interests. Theyre great learners and challenge themselves to get out of their
comfort zones. You may be a father whos also a student of the martial arts, a
great chef, a good sportsman, and a treasured friend. You may be a mother whos
a gifted dancer, a solid rock climber, a celebrated singer, and a curious
photographer. When children see that their role models can be many things, they
will learn that they dont need to pigeon-hole themselves in order to be successful.
(7) Demonstrate confidence in who you are: Whatever you choose to do with your
life, be proud of the person youve become and continue to become. It may have
been a long road and you may have experienced bumps along the way, but its the
responsibility of a role model to commemorate the lessons learned, the strength
weve amassed, and the character theyve developed. We can always get better,
however, in order for children to celebrate who they are, their role models need to
show that confidence doesnt start 5 pounds from now, 2 more wins on top of
this one, or 1 more possession than I have today. We must continue to strive
while being happy with how far weve come at the same time.
While it may seem like a great deal of pressure to be a positive role model; nobody is
expecting you to be superhuman. We certainly wouldnt expect that behavior from the
children who are looking to us for answers and guidancenor would we want them to
expect that kind of flawless behavior from themselves or others. You can only do your
best. And, if you mess up today, you can always refer back to tip #3 and try again
tomorrow. Good role models earn multiple chances from the children who believe in
them and know they can do anything if they simply put their mind to it.
[digg=http://digg.com/educational/Powerful_Role_Models_Seven_Ways_to_Make_an_I
mpact_on_Kids
1.
2
2.
Identify your bad habits, or negative aspects of your personality.
These are the things you do not like or want to change about
yourself and are important in determining how you wish to change
3.
1.
Build your confidence. As you start to consider how you can choose
a role model, try to develop faith in yourself as a person. The
goal of choosing a role model is to motivate you to become a
better person. You must have confidence in yourself and your
abilities to become whoever you wish to be
2.
1.

Identify people who exhibit the same qualities that you wish to
achieve. If you want to be an inspirational person, think about
the people who inspire you. Do a little brainstorming. Why do you
admire them so much? What is the message they send through their
actions?
2.
1. Great role models may exist all around you. These people may have a more profound
impact on you and might even be able to mentor you, making them great potential
choices as your role model.

1.
Choose someone who makes you feel good about being you. Your role
model should be someone who thinks it is all right to be unique,
even if that means accepting some ridicule. They should always
make you feel positive and good about being yourself.
2.
1. The purpose of having a role model is to encourage and inspire you to improve
yourself. If your choice of role model does not make you feel this way then it is best
to choose another.

1.
Learn about their successes and failures. It is important to learn
about both the successes and failures of your role model.
Sometimes learning about the failures of your role model can
actually encourage and motivate you more than learning about their
successes. By learning about their failures you realize that they,
like you, are only human and will make mistakes. The important
thing is to learn from them and keep working to improve yourself.
2.
1. For example, even famous scientists such as Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein
struggled and failed many times in their lives but they kept working hard to achieve
and eventually they were successful. By learning about their struggles you can
motivate yourself to keep working hard even when nothing seems to be working.[

1.
Choose someone that you know and observe succeeding in life in a
way that resonates with your moral values and beliefs for your
role model. A role model should be someone that you admire in all
aspects of their life and leads a healthy lifestyle.
2.
1. Look for qualities such as passion and the ability to inspire, a clear set of values, a
commitment to community, selflessness and acceptance of others and the ability to
overcome obstacles

1.
Do not copy your role model completely. Everyone makes mistakes,
including those you have chosen as your role models. Your role
models are simply there as a guide for you and not someone to
imitate exactly. Do not follow them blindly.
2.
1.
Identify all your best characteristics. What are your strengths?
What do you do well? These are the characteristics that you want
to nourish and hold on to but not necessarily the ones you would

want to look for in a role model. Ponder your strengths and

develop an image of who you are and who you want to be.
2.
1.
Learn about their successes and failures. It is important to learn
about both the successes and failures of your role model.
Sometimes learning about the failures of your role model can
actually encourage and motivate you more than learning about their
successes. By learning about their failures you realize that they,
like you, are only human and will make mistakes. The important
thing is to learn from them and keep working to improve yourself.
2.
1. For example, even famous scientists such as Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein

struggled and failed many times in their lives but they kept working hard to achieve
and eventually they were successful. By learning about their struggles you can
motivate yourself to keep working hard even when nothing seems to be working.[5]
Keep in mind that having a role model does not mean you become exactly like that person.
Remember to retain your individuality. Emulate them, but put your own individuality into the
things they do.
Emulate him or her until you are a role model yourself; that's how you can know you have
mastered the trait.
True role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have. Role models
are also those who have affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people.
Sometimes, we don't recognize people we are emulating until we have noticed our own
personal growth and progress that they have caused.
When you choose a role model that you know you can ask them to be your mentor. This way
they can teach you and guide you as work to improve yourself.