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Your supervisor asks you to mentor a new employee, Toya, and help her learn the ropes of the
job. After two weeks you perceive that the new person has many strengths. She is responsible
and punctual, and she takes initiative on her own. At the same time, you realize that Toya is
careless about details: She doesnt proofread reports, so they contain errors in spelling and
grammar, and she doesnt check back to make sure something she did worked. Youve also
noticed that Toya seems very insecure and wants a lot of affirmation and praise. You want to give
her honest feedback so that she can improve her job performance, yet you are afraid that she will
react defensively if you bring up her carelessness. You ask Toya to meet with you to discuss her
first two weeks on the job. The meeting begins: <p></p><p></p> Watch, listen, and read the
transcript of your and Toyas conversation. Then critique the conversation by completing the
Analysis. You can even compare your response to the author's! <b>You:</b> Well, youve been
here for 2 weeks. How are you liking the job? <p></p><p></p> <b>Toya:</b> I like it a lot, and
Im trying to do my best every day. Nobody has said anything, so I guess Im doing okay.
<p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b> Well, Ive noticed how responsible you are and how great you
are about being a selfstarter. Those are real strengths in this job. <p></p><p></p> <b>Toya:</b>
Thanks. So I guess Im doing okay, right? <p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b> What would you say
if someone suggested that there are ways you can improve your work? <p></p><p></p>
<b>Toya:</b> What do you mean? Have I done something wrong? Nobodys said anything to
me. Is someone saying something behind my back? <p> What would you say next to Toya? How
would you meet your ethical responsibilities as her mentor and also adapt to her interpersonal
needs for reassurance? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> A first priority is to assure Toya she
is valued. It will be easier to discuss ways of improving her job performance if you establish a
base of support for her and her work. By reassuring Toya, you establish this base of support, and
it increases the chance that you can meet your ethical responsibilities to fulfill your supervisors
expectations and to mentor Toya. To provide this reassurance, you might say: I havent heard
anyone talking about you. I really think youve gotten off to a very good start with us, and that
you can have a bright future here. After communicating that you value Toya, you could then
say: And I think all of us can improve. I know Im working on improving my performance.
Even though its good already, it can always be better. I feel the same way about you. Your work
is good, and I think you can make it even better. </p> <p> What degree of responsibility do you
have to Toya, your supervisor, and the company? How can you reflect thoughtfully about
potential tensions among these responsibilities? </p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> Ideally,
your responsibilities to Toya, your supervisor, and the company are compatible. If you mentor
Toya so that she achieves her potential as an employee, you will satisfy your supervisor and the

company. There could be an ethical dilemma if Toya resists your suggestions for improving her
work. Then you must decide whether to let your supervisor know that she is not responding to
your suggestions. The best chance of avoiding this dilemma is to create a supportive relationship
with Toya in which she can accept feedback and work to improve her job performance without
feeling threatened. </p> <p> How would your communication differ if you acted according to a
linear or transactive model of communication? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Linear
models portray communication as one way, listeners as passive, and communication as rigidly
sequential. If you acted according to a linear model, you would not look for feedback from Toya
while you were speaking, and you would assume that she simply absorbs your communication
without taking any active role herself. <p></p><p></p> In contrast, if you adopted a transactive
model of communication, you would realize that you and Toya are jointly involved in
communication, so you would be attentive to her responses to what you say. You would also
realize that noise can interfere with clear communication. For instance, Toya may be
experiencing some psychological noise: concerns about her job safety or your support of her. A
transactive model would also lead you to recognize that Toyas field of experience influences
how she interprets your communication. She may have had bad work experiences before that are
affecting how she perceives the current interaction with you. Finally, a transactive model stress
that communication is an ongoing process, which reminds you that how you respond to Toyas
concerns can affect what is possible as this conversation progresses. </p> Amy met Hailley at the
beginning of the school year. Amy was drawn to her because she seemed confident and positive.
Over several months the two of them became good friends, sharing high and low points about
school, family, and dates. <p></p><p></p> Two months ago Hailley started dating Dan, a man
who dropped out of college after 2 years and who now works as a waiter. At first Hailley seemed
happy with Dan, but then she started changing. Shes become less extroverted and a lot less
positive. <p></p><p></p> Often when Amy suggests doing something together, Hailley says she
cant because Dan might come over or call, and he doesnt like for her not to be available to him.
When Amy sees them together, she notices that he doesnt treat her with respect and often
criticizes her harshly. <p></p><p></p> For example, when Hailley said something to Dan when
he was on his cell phone, he shouted: <p></p><p></p> Watch, listen, and read the transcript of
Hailley and Amys conversation. Then critique the conversation by completing the Analysis. You
can even compare your response to the author's! <b>Dan:</b> Dont talk to me. Im on the
phone. <p></p><p></p> Later, when Hailley dropped some papers, Dan said harshly:
<p></p><p></p> <b>Dan:</b> You are so clumsy! <p></p><p></p> <i>Amy is concerned that
Hailley may be in a relationship that is verbally and physically abusive. Amy thinks that Dan is
damaging her self-concept, and she wants to help.</i> <p></p><p></p> <b>Amy:</b> Im just
worried about you. I dont like the way he treats you. <p></p><p></p> <b>Hailley:</b>
Because he called me clumsy? I am clumsy, and besides, if I do something stupid, I cant expect
him not to notice. <p></p><p></p> <b>Amy:</b> But he doesnt show any respect for you at
all. <p></p><p></p> <b>Hailley:</b> Well, hes a guy. He says what hes thinking. I know a lot
of peoples boyfriends like that. Besides, I dont think theres anything wrong with Dan. I think I
just have to stop doing things that make him mad. <p> Thinking about what you've read in this

chapter, what might you say or do for Hailley? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> There are
many ways to answer this question. One important starting point is to realize that your
relationship with Hailley is a process. Thus, it may take time for you to help her. A second
important starting point is to communicate clearly that you are her friend and you support her.
Although this may be difficult when you are concerned about her relationship with Dan,
preserving the friendship between you and Hailley is essential if you want to keep open the
possibilities of communication with her. By keeping those possibilities open, you create the
opportunity to have positive impact on her. </p> <p> How do social comparisons affect her view
of the relationship with Dan? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Hailley has said that she
knows a lot of people with boyfriends who act like Dan. Talking with these people may lead
Hailley to think that it is normal and acceptable for Dan to hurt her. One way for you to be a
friend to Hailley is to provide her with alternative social comparisons by talking about romantic
relationships in which there is no violence and talking about women who left men who hurt
them. </p> <p> Can you think of ways that you might be a constructive looking glass self for
Hailley? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Yes. One way to be a constructive looking glass
self for Hailley would be to reflect to her how you saw her before she started going out with Dan
(positive, confident). This may help her see how much she has changed in the relationship and
may allow her to reclaim her former self. </p> <p> What could you do to help create a context
that would foster positive change in Hailley's self-concept? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p>
In abusive relationships, the abuser often isolates the victim from others so that his influence is
the primary one on her. The scenario makes it clear that Hailley is becoming isolated from her
friends. You might invite other friends over when Hailley is with you so that she interacts more
with people who see her strengths and who treat her caringly. As Hailleys friend, you can
support her and help create a context that fosters a healthy change in her self-concept. However,
Hailley (not you!) has the responsibility to decide who she will be and whether she wants to
change. </p><p> What would it mean to be an upper for Hailley right now? How could you
communicate with her to be an upper in her life without endorsing her relationship with Dan?
</p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> Uppers communicate positively about others and their
worth. You might comment on times when she is graceful (not clumsy) and smart (not stupid) to
give her a contrast to the reflection of herself that Dan offers. You can communicate what you
see as Hailleys strengths and worth without endorsing her acceptance of hurtful treatment from
Dan. </p> Your friend Jim tells you about a problem hes having with his parents. According to
Jim, his parents have unrealistic expectations of him. He tends to be an average student, usually
making Cs, a few Bs, and an occasional D in his courses. His parents are angry that his grades
arent better. <p></p><p></p> Jim tells you that when he went home last month, his father said
this: <p></p><p></p> Watch, listen, and read the transcript of Jims conversation with his father.
Then critique the conversation by completing the Analysis. You can even compare your response
to the author's! <b>Jims father:</b> Im not paying for you to go to school so you can party
with your friends. I paid my own way and still made Phi Beta Kappa. You have a free ride and
youre still just pulling Cs. You just have to study harder. <p></p><p></p> <b>Jim:</b> I mean,
I like to hang out with my friends but thats got nothing to do with my grades. My dads this

brilliant guy, I mean, he just cruised through college, he thinks its easy. I dont know how it was
back then, but all my classes are hard. I mean, no matter how much studying I do Im not gonna
get all As. What should I do? I mean, how do I convince them that Im doing everything I
can? <p> Both Jim and his parents make attributions to explain his grades. Describe the
dimensions of Jim's attributions and those of his parents. </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p>
Jims father attributes Jims average grades to internal (Jims priorities), global (generalizable
pattern) factors that Jim can control: choosing to party continuously instead of studying when he
could choose to study more). Jim attributes his grades to external causes (hard classes) that he
cannot control. Jim also assumes the factors influencing his grades are stable: his classes arent
going to get any easier. </p> <p> How might you assess the accuracy of Jim's attributions? What
questions could you ask him to help you decide whether his perceptions are well founded or
biased? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> You could ask a number of questions to help Jim
figure out whether the causes of his average grades really are external, stable, and beyond his
control. Relevant questions include these: Did you study more and hang out with friends less in
high school? If so, were your grades better?" What was different about the courses in which you
made Bs and the ones in which you made Ds? Do you ever talk with professors or study with
other students in your classes? How much time do you spend studying? </p> <p> What
constructs, prototypes, and scripts seem to operate in how Jim and his parents think about college
life and being a student? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Jim has a construct that assesses
students as brilliant (like his dad) or not (like him). His father has a construct of students as
working hard (his perception of himself) or not working hard (his perception of Jim). His fathers
prototype of the ideal college student is someone who works hard and makes studying and
grades the #1 priority. Jims prototype of the ideal college student is someone who spends some
time with friends. As a consequence of these constructs and prototypes, Jims dad endorses a
script for college life of studying, making good grades, and not letting anything interfere with
that. In contrast, Jims script for college life involves hanging out with friends while making
average grades. </p> <p> What could you say to Jim to help him and his parents reach some
more shared perspective on his academic work? </p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> Realize
that you may not be able to help Jim and his father reach a shared perspective. Remember from
Chapter 1 that communication is not a panaceait cannot solve all problems. Jim and his father
may have irreconcilable differences. Yet you dont want to assume at the outset that Jim and his
dad cannot develop a more shared perspective on Jims academic work. You might encourage
Jim to show his father some of his textbooks and assignments. His father may not understand
how much college has changed since he was a student. You might also ask Jim how he would
feel if he had put himself through school and was now putting his son through school and he felt
his son wasnt working. These communications should foster greater dual perspective between
Jim and his father. </p> Ed recently began working at a new job. Although hes been there only 5
weeks, he likes it a lot and sees a real future for himself with the company. Last week Ed was
invited to the annual company banquet and awards ceremony. The invitation to the banquet
stated only Hope to see you there and had no RSVP, so Ed didnt mention to anyone that he
wouldnt be attending because his daughter was in a play the same night. When he arrived at

work the next Monday morning, however, his manager spoke to him. <p></p><p></p> Watch,
listen, and read the transcript of the conversation between Ed and his manager. Then critique the
conversation by completing the Analysis. You can even compare your response to the
author's! <b>Manager:</b> Hey, Ed, you missed the banquet Saturday night. I thought you were
really committed to our company. <p></p><p></p> <i>Ed is confused by the comment and tries
to explain why he was absent.</i> <p></p><p></p> <b>Ed:</b> My daughter was in a play that
night. <p></p><p></p> <b>Manager:</b> I dont care why you didnt come. We really pay
attention to whos with us and who isnt. <p></p><p></p> <i>Later, when Ed talks with several
co-workers who have been around a few years, he discovers that top management sees the annual
banquet as a command performance that signifies company unity and loyalty.</i> <p> How
does the concept of constitutive rule help explain the misunderstanding between Ed and his
manager? </p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> Ed and his manager have different constitutive
rules for what counts as commitment to the company. Ed has a constitutive rule that states doing
his job counted as showing commitment to the company. His manager has a constitutive rule that
states attending the annual banquet counts as showing commitment to the company. </p> <p>
How might Ed learn the normative practices of the company so that he can understand the
meanings that long-time employees have? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Ed needs to get
into the informal network. He could have understood his managers constitutive rule if he had
had conversations with his co-workers before the banquet. Ed might also have asked his manager
whether there would be a problem if he missed the banquet. In the future, he would be wise to
talk with co-workers and his manager about company issues, events, and so forth. </p> <p> How
do the ambiguity and abstraction that are inherent in language explain the misunderstanding
between Ed and his manager? </p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> Words such as loyalty,
commitment, and who is with us and who isnt mean different things to different people. Ed
didnt see missing the banquet as a measure of his commitment to the company; his supervisor
did. Invitation is another abstract, ambiguous word. Ed read the invitation to the banquet as
asking him to attend. His manager and others with the company understood it to mean you will
attend. </p> <p> How would you suggest that Ed repair the damage done by his absence from
the company banquet? What might he say to his manager? How could he use I-language,
indexing, and dual perspective to guide his communication? </p> <u>Author's Response</u>
<p> Ed might start out by working to achieve dual perspective. To communicate effectively with
his manager, he needs to understand his managers perspective in a non-defensive way. Once Ed
realizes that his manager sees attendance at the banquet as a show of commitment, he will
appreciate why his manager is upset. He should also realize that his managers disapproval
suggests the manager has high expectations for Ed and his career with the company. (The
manager is upset only because Eds commitment to the company matters to the manager.) Ed
might then go to his manager and say that he hadnt understood how important the banquet was.
Relying on I-language, Ed might say: "I felt confused when you said that you noticed who is
really with us and who is not. I didnt understand what the banquet met. I feel like I let you
down, but I didnt know I was doing it." Ed might also use indexing to assure his manager that
the Ed who missed this years banquet will not be the Ed at next years banquet. </p> <p> Sign

onto InfoTrac College Edition. Use the InfoTrac author search to find articles by Jeanette W.
Gilsdorf. Read "Organizational rules on communicating: How employees are or are not learning
the ropes," which was published in the Journal of Business Communication in April of 1998.
What light does her study shed on Ed's situation? Does Gilsdorf's research suggest that not
understanding organizational rules is common for new employees? Does her research suggest
ways of minimizing the problem? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Not understanding
organizational rules is inherent in being a new employee. It is most difficult to understand the
unwritten, unofficial rules, such as what attending an annual banquet means. Gilsdorfs study
underlines the importance of checking perceptions with othersco-workers and managers to
learn an organizations rules. </p> You have been hired to help doctors learn to listen more
effectively when interacting with patients. You observe the following interaction between Dr.
Zhug and Ms. Ryder, who came in to find out why she is so tired. <p></p><p></p> Watch,
listen, and read the transcript of Dr. Zhug and Ms. Ryders conversation. Then critique the
conversation by completing the Analysis. You can even compare your response to the
author's! <b>Dr. Zhug:</b> Ms. Ryder, theres good news. All of the tests we did show you are
normal. <p></p><p></p> <b>Ms. Ryder:</b> If Im normal, why do I feel so tired all the time?
<p></p><p></p> <b>Dr. Zhug:</b> Perhaps you need to get more sleep at night.
<p></p><p></p> <b>Ms. Ryder:</b> Ive been getting more sleep than Ive ever needed before,
and in the last 6 months Ive felt tired. I feel that way no matter how many hours I sleep. I know
this isnt normal. <p></p><p></p> <b>Dr. Zhug:</b> According to the tests, you have no
medical problems. Perhaps your fatigue is emotional. This is common in women your age.
Would you like a referral for counseling? <p></p><p></p> <b>Ms. Ryder:</b> Fatigue has
nothing to do with my age. Im only 35, and I felt fine 6 months ago. Im telling you this isnt
normal. <p></p><p></p> <b>Dr. Zhug:</b> Well, you might also try sleeping more than you
used to; our bodies change, you know. <p></p><p></p> <b>Ms. Ryder:</b> I just told you I am
sleeping more, and its not helping. What I need to know is <p></p><p></p> <b>Dr.
Zhug:</b> Ms. Ryder, theres no need to get hysterical. I assure you I know how to read test
results, and physically you are quite normal. <p></p><p></p> <b>Ms. Ryder:</b> Doctor, I
know this isnt normal for me. I cant do my work well. I dont have the energy I need for my
family. This isnt normal. I need to get my energy back. <p></p><p></p> <b>Dr. Zhug:</b> I
wish I could help you.<p> Do you see any indicators of hindrances to listening in either Dr. Zhug
or Ms. Ryder? Is there any reason to think either person is prejudging or preoccupied, for
instance? </p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> Ms. Ryder is clearly preoccupied with her
medical problem, which may be appropriate in the context of a doctor-patient conference. Dr.
Zhugs attention to his papers suggests he may be preoccupied with the tests as the sole source of
information about Ms. Ryders medical condition. He may also be preoccupied with thoughts of
other patients and obligationsthis is suggested by his glancing at his watch. His suggestion that
Ms. Ryder might want counseling and his use of the term hysterical may indicate he is
prejudging and stereotyping her as an hysterical woman. </p> <p> Do you notice any forms of
non-listening in this conversation? Is either person listening selectively, monopolizing, listening
literally or defensively, etc? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> The most troublesome form of

nonlistening in this scenario is selective listening. Dr. Zhug seems to listen only to the reports
from medical tests he ran. He does not seem to listen mindfully to the information Ms. Ryder
offers about how she feels and how her fatigue is affecting her life. Ms. Ryder may also have
begun to listen defensively to Dr. Zhug after he suggested that she is physically normal and
might seek counseling. </p> <p> Based on what you know about effective listening (and other
communication principles you've learned in previous chapters), what feedback would you give
Dr. Zhug so that he can communicate more effectively with patients? </p> <u>Author's
Response</u> <p> First, he should look at patients when he talks with them. Eye contact is
important for establishing a trusting doctor-patient relationship. Dr. Zhug should also make a
greater effort to gain dual perspectiveto understand the problem from his patients point of
view and to respond to his patients reports and concerns. He might work to develop skills in
paraphrasing and offering minimal encouragers so that he can better grasp his patients
perspectives. Dr. Zhug might also think about the impact of emotionally loaded words such as
hysterical." If patients feel he does not respect them and what they say about their condition,
patients are unlikely to stay with him or to be helped by him. </p> Christina is visiting her family
for the holidays. One evening after dinner, her mother comes into her room where Christina is
typing at her computer. Her mother sits down and the following conversation takes place.
<p></p><p></p> Watch, listen, and read the transcript of Christinas conversation with her
mother. Then critique the conversation by completing the Analysis. You can even compare your
response to the author's! <b>Mom:</b> Am I disturbing you? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b>
No, Im just signing off on email. [She finishes at the keyboard and turns to face her mom.]
<p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> Emailing someone? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Just a
guy. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> Someone youve been seeing at school? <p></p><p></p>
<b>Chris:</b> Not exactly. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> [laughs] Well, either you are
seeing him or youre not, honey. Are you two dating? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Sort of.
Yeah, you could say were dating. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> [laughs] Whats the mystery.
Whats he like? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Hes funny and smart and so easy to talk to.
We can talk for hours and it never gets dull. Ive never met anyone whos so easy to be with.
Were interested in the same things and we share so many values. Brandons just super. Ive
never met anyone like him. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> Sounds great. When do I get to
meet this fellow? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Well, not until I do. [laughs] We met online
and were just starting to talk about getting together in person. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b>
Online? You met this man online? And you act as if you know him! <p></p><p></p>
<b>Chris:</b> I do know him, mom. Weve talked a lotweve told each other lots of stuff,
and <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> How do you know what hes told you is true? For all
you know, hes a 50-year-old mass murderer! <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Youve been
watching too many movies on Lifetime, mom. Brandons 23, hes in college, and he comes from
a family a lot like ours. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> How do you know that? He could be
lying about every part of what hes told you. <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> So? A guy I meet
at school could lie too. Meeting someone in person is no guarantee of honesty. <p></p><p></p>
<b>Mom:</b> Havent you read about all of the weirdos that go to these online matching sites?

<p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Mom, Brandons not a weirdo, and we didnt meet in a


matching site. We met in a chat room where people talk about politics. Hes as normal as I am.
After all, I was in that chat room too! <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> But, Chris, you cant be
serious about someone you havent met. <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> I have met him mom,
just not face-to-face. Actually, I know him better than lots of guys Ive dated for months. You can
get to know a lot about a person from talking. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> This makes me
really nervous, honey. Please dont meet him by yourself. <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b>
Mom, youre making me feel sorry I told you how we met. This is exactly why I didnt tell you
about him before. Nothing I say is going to change your mind about dating online.
<p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> [pauses, looks away, then looks back at Chris] Youre right.
Im not giving himor youa chance. Lets start over. [smiles] Tell me what you like about
him. <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> [tentatively] Well, hes thoughtful. <p></p><p></p>
<b>Mom:</b> Thoughtful? How so? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Like, if I say something
one day, hell come back to it a day or so later and I can tell hes thought about it, like hes really
interested in what I say. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> So he really pays attention to what you
say, huh? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Exactly. So many guys Ive dated dont. They never
return to things Ive said. Brandon does. And another thing, when I come back to things hes said
with ideas Ive thought about, he really listens. <p></p><p></p> <b>Mom:</b> Like he values
what you think and say? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Exactly! Thats whats so special
about him. <p> Identify examples of ineffective and effective listening on the part of Chriss
mother. </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> This conversation offers examples of effective and
ineffective listening. At the beginning of the conversation Chriss mom invites her daughter to
open up. When Chris does, however, her mother becomes judgmental and lets her prejudgments
keep her from listening mindfully to Chris. When Chris calls her mother out for not being open
minded, the mother acknowledges Chriss criticism and begins to listen more supportively.
</p> <p> What do you perceive as the key obstacle to listening for Chriss mom during the early
part of this conversation? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Chriss mother seems to have
prejudgments about online relationships. Initially, these prejudgments are a barrier to her
listening mindfully to Chris and learning about Chriss online relationship. Chriss mother may
also regard online relationships or online dating as emotionally loaded words to which she
reacts so strongly that her ability to listen well is undermined. </p> <p> Identify specific
listening skills that Chriss mother uses once she chooses to listen mindfully. </p> <u>Author's
Response</u> <p> The mother uses paraphrases and minimal encouragers to check that shes
understood Chris and to encourage Chris to keep talking. Chris responds by offering more details
about her relationship with Brandon. </p> <p> Is Chriss mother being unethical not to continue
expressing her concerns about Chriss safety? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Not
necessarily. Chris already knows that her mother is apprehensive about online dating. The mother
needs to learn more about the relationship before she can assess whether there are real dangers
for Chris. If she wants to keep the lines of communication open between her and Chris, at this
point it is important to suspend judgment, engage in dual perspective, and show that shes
interested in Chriss life. If the mother is still concerned after listening mindfully to Chris, she

may later express her worries. </p> You work with a person who is generally friendly and
talkative during breaks; the two of you have often enjoyed casual conversation about issues
related to the job as well as ones outside of the job. For the past week, Chris hasnt initiated any
talk in the break room and has made only minimal responses to your efforts to strike up a
conversation. You think Chris may be upset and you decide to explore this. The next time you
find Chris alone in the break room, this conversation occurs: <p></p><p></p> Watch, listen, and
read the transcript of your and Chriss conversation. Then critique the conversation by
completing the Analysis. You can even compare your response to the author's! <b>You:</b>
Hey, Chris, youve been kind of quiet lately. Is anything wrong? <p></p><p></p>
<b>Chris:</b> No, not really, well, not anything I know how to talk about. <p></p><p></p>
<b>You:</b> Sounds like something is bothering you. <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Yeah,
well, I guess thats life, right? Im just down. <p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b> Down can cover a
lot of territory. Sometimes it helps me if I talk to somebody when Im feeling down. Want to tell
me whats getting to you? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Well, okay. Its Mr. Brewster. Hes
been on my case for the past 3 weeks. <p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b> What about? Is he
criticizing your job performance? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Yeah. He says Im sloppy
when I write reports and that I am not always nice to our clients. I mean, what am I supposed to
belittle Mary Sunshine? <p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b> Sounds like youre angry.
<p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Darned right I am. I come in to work here every day and I do
my job and I dont complain. Its not like theyre paying us big bucks, so they shouldnt expect
us to be all charm and cheer to every clientsome of those folks are real jerks. <p></p><p></p>
<b>You:</b> I agree. Some of them are difficult and rude. What exactly does Mr. Brewster say
about how you deal with clients? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> He says stuff about not being
nice. I feel like hes biased against me just because Im not as pleasant and smiley as I should be.
<p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b> He may be biased against anyone who isnt super nice to clients.
Remember how he really drilled it into all of us when we were hired that we are supposed to be
polite and smile and all that. <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Well, I dont always feel like
smiling. And I dont think Mr. Brewster has any right to tie my job to whether I am a beacon of
sunshine for every client who walks in here! I need this job. <p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b>
Sounds as if you may be feeling a little worried about the job too. Am I reading you right?
<p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> Sure, Im worried. I need this job. Ive got a child and nobody
but me to support him. <p></p><p></p> <b>You:</b> Has Mr. Brewster said anything about
your losing this job? <p></p><p></p> <b>Chris:</b> No, not yet, he hasnt, but I know Im not
perfect and I know he can fire me any time he wants. If he does, Im finished. But Im just not
cheerful all the time, even if I should be. I know I should be nicer sometimes, but I cant. <p>
What has happened so far in this conversation. Has Chris changed at all in terms of identifying
emotions? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> She has progressed in clarity. Chris began by
saying the issue was not anything I know how to talk about. As a result of Andres listening
and responses, Chris is able to identify feeling mad at Carl and worried about keeping the
job. </p> <p> Do you perceive any examples of counterfeit emotional language in Chris's
communication? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> The answer to this question is not entirely

clear. It may be that Chris is engaging in counterfeit emotional language when Chris says: "Im
just not cheerful all the time. . . I wish I was, but Im not. Because this statement doesnt
explain Chriss feelings, it may be counterfeit. Andre might probe to find out why Chris doesnt
feel cheerful all the time and whether any circumstances at work affect Chriss mood. </p> <p>
If you wanted to help Chris keep the job, would you advise deep acting, surface acting, or some
combination of the two? Explain your reasons. </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> The easiest
route for Chris is to engage in surface actingsmile and be cheerful to customers regardless of
how Chris actually feels. To engage in deep acting, Chris might work at thinking about things
that make Chris happy. Then Chris could reflect the inner cheer to customers. Chris might also
engage in deep acting by thinking about customers and how they feel and how good it would feel
to them if Chris were cheerful and helpful to them. </p> <p> Does Chris seem to be operating on
any irrational beliefs? </p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> The dialogue suggests three possible
irrational beliefs. First, Chriss statement that Im not perfect all the time may indicate an
irrational belief that non-stop perfection is required for the job. Second, Chris seems to overgeneralize in saying that Carl expects Chris to smile all the time. Third, Chris may be debilitating
herself (or himself) with the fear of catastrophic failurelosing the job and needed income,
when Carl has not said he was thinking about firing her. </p> <p> How would you want the
conversation to progress now? What would you say next to support and help Chris?
</p><u>Author's Response</u> <p> There are many ways to move this conversation forward in
a supportive manner. One way would be to show that you accept what Chris does feel. For
instance, you might say: "I dont always feel cheerful either. Thats okay." This confirming
communication supports Chris. Next, you might try to address Chriss fears about the job by
talking about ways to meet Carls expectations. For example, you might say: "So youre not
Little Mary Sunshine, and you dont have to be, but can you be basically polite and friendly to
customers?" This helps Chris move beyond the false dichotomy of Little Mary Sunshine
versus uncheerful. </p> <p> Would you communicate differently if Chris were a woman or man?
Do you think Chriss sex would affect how he or she communicates? </p><u>Author's
Response</u> <p> None provided. </p> Alan OConnor dreads this time of year. Its his job to
conduct performance interviews with the people who work directly under his supervision, and
hes always felt inadequate for this task. He tries to be honest with his employees about what
they need to improve, but usually the employees seem to resent his honesty instead of
appreciating his efforts to help them. He also feels very awkward when employees bring up
personal issues and doesnt feel its his place to deal with them. OConnor remembers an
interview a few years ago that went badly. After greeting Gretchen Bennett, he focused on a
problem that was hindering her progress. <p></p><p></p> Watch, listen, and read the transcript
of Alans conversations with his employees. Then critique the conversation by completing the
Analysis. You can even compare your response to the author's! <b>O'Connor:</b> Uh, Gretchen,
your work pace is too slow. Youve gotta turn the work around more quickly so that you dont
slow the rest of the team down. <p></p><p></p> <b>Bennett:</b> I take the time because I
want to do it right. You know, I can flip stuff out really fast, if thats what you want, but its not
going to be top quality. <p></p><p></p> <b>O'Connor:</b> Ah, look, I dont want to lose you,

but youve got to work more quickly. <p></p><p></p> <b>Bennett:</b> So, youre threatening
my job. <p></p><p></p> <i>Bennett left the company 2 months later, and OConnor felt partly
responsible. He recalls another performance interview that also turned sour. In this one, he tried
to start the discussion less bluntly.Andrews is in the hot seat now. He is in his early forties.</i>
<p></p><p></p> <b>O'Connor:</b> How do you feel about your work over the last 6 months
since we last reviewed it? <p></p><p></p> <b>Andrews:</b> I guess Ive done okay. Uh, Im
not sure what youre after here. <p></p><p></p> <b>O'Connor:</b> Well, Id just like to know
your own appraisal before we talk about my perceptions of your work. <p></p><p></p>
<b>Andrews:</b> Like I said, I guess Ive done pretty good work. <p></p><p></p>
<b>O'Connor:</b> Youve missed a lot of days. And youre often late getting in.
<p></p><p></p> <b>Andrews:</b> Well, there have been some family issues. My son
developed a serious medical condition and we had to go through testing with several doctors and
then some treatments. It took a lot of time. <p></p><p></p> <b>O'Connor:</b> Look, I dont
want to get into your family issues. Can we just focus on the work for now? I need to know that
youre not going to be absent much more from now on and that you can be here on time.
<p></p><p></p> <b>Andrews:</b> Not if my son needs help. I mean, he comes first. Im sure
you can understand that. But when Im here I do my best, and sometimes I stay late if I had to
come in late. <p></p><p></p> <i>This interview also ended tensely. OConnor isnt sure what
hes doing wrong. Hes even less sure how he can conduct performance interviews that are more
effective, productive, and motivating to employees.</i> <p> Describe how O'Connor's views of
his job, noted in the opening paragraph of this case, may affect his approach to performance
interviews? How do his definitions of his role and his goals influence the kind of climate he is
likely to foster? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> OConnor clearly sees himself as trying to
help his employees. He perceives himself as being honest about what needs to be improved. He
sees his honesty as valuable in achieving his goal of helping them keep their jobs. Finally,
OConnor sees work as separate from personal life. <p></p><p></p> OConnors definitions of
his job and goals may lead him to focus selectively on aspects of employees work that need
improvement and to be inattentive to praiseworthy aspects of employees work. This one-sided
focus could foster a defensive climate in performance review conferences. </p> <p> Identify
specific comments by O'Connor that exemplify confirming and disconfirming communication.
How could any disconfirming comments be modified or replaced to create more confirming
communication? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> There are few clear examples of
confirming communication from OConnor. Examples of disconfirming communication are:
<p></p><p></p> To Bennett: <p></p> Your work pace is too slow.<p></p> I dont want
to lose you, but . . . . <p></p><p></p> To Andrews<p></p> Youve missed a lot of days.
You get in late. <p></p><p></p> These comments by OConnor are evaluative and reflect more
of a control orientation than a problem-solving one. They also reflect superiority rather than
equality, and they do not reflect empathy. </p> <p> Identify specific comments by O'Connor that
are likely to cultivate defensive or supportive climates between him and his employees. What
changes could be made in O'Connor's communication to increase the supportiveness of the
climate? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> Rather than telling Bennett that her work pace is

too slow, OConnor might rely on less evaluative language and say: "Im wondering if how we
could increase your pace of work." Notice that this approach to the topic also invites a problemsolving approach and an equal relationship between OConnor and Bennett. <p></p><p></p>
Instead of overtly criticizing Andrews for tardiness and absenteeism, OConnor might offer a
more tentative and descriptive comment, such as: "It seems that youve been off of the standard
schedule a bit lately. Do you perceive that is the case? <p></p><p></p> OConnor could also
enhance the climates supportiveness by showing more empathy. For instance, he could express
some understanding of Andrews responsibilities as a parent and some sympathy for the childs
medical problems. OConnor could do this without suggesting to Andrews that it is okay to be
late or absent from work. </p> <p> What suggestions can you make that would allow O'Connor
to fulfill his responsibility to provide employees with critical feedback on performance and also
to establish a more supportive climate? </p> <u>Author's Response</u> <p> OConnor would
be a more effective communicator if he began by noting and praising employees strengths and
accomplishments. It would also be effective for him to approach problems in job performance as
issues that he and the employee could collaboratively resolve (problem-orientation). Provisional,
or tentative, language (e.g., I wonder if you are working at the most effective pace?) instead of
certainty language (e.g., Your work pace is too slow.) would also help OConnor and his
interviewees explore causes of problems and possible solutions. </p> <p> Focus on framing the
performance interviews. What advice would you give O'Connor about how to start interviews in
ways that might establish a supportive foundation for interaction? </p> <u>Author's
Response</u> <p> Employees may not share OConnors view that he is trying to help them.
Criticism seldom feels helpful to the recipients! To foster dual perspective with his employees,
OConnor might open performance reviews by explaining how he sees his role so that employees
can understand that. For instance, he might open the interviews by saying: "I know these periodic
performance reviews can be uncomfortable. I get anxious about them myself because I want to
support you and mentor you, but sometimes that means I need to point out minor problems. He
might then say: "What I want to do in this conference is work with you to make you as effective
as you can be so that you advance in the company. If I sound somewhat critical at times, please
understand that Im trying to give you feedback that will help you move ahead." This kind of
opening provides a supportive framework for any criticisms that follow. </p>

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