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PROFESSIONAL ENGLISH 2

BEING CONCISE
What is a concise sentence?
The less said the better. --Robert Browning, English poet
Concise sentence involves using the most effective words in order to get
ones point across. It uses a minimal amount of effective words to make
ones point. Writers often include words in their sentences that are
unnecessary and could be omitted in order to make the sentence more
concise. In other words, concise sentence is used to avoid a wordy or
lengthy sentence.
WORDINESS

VERSUS

BEING

CONCISE

Using more words than

necessary to express a
meaning
Is often a sign of lazy or
careless writing
Lack of focus on the essentials
or the main point(s) of the
sentence

Being as brief as possible

Getting your message across in as
few words as possible
Removing details, examples and
description contained in the original
source material
Removing information repeated or
rephrased in slightly varying ways
To be the direct and straight to the
point
Being focused, objective and accurate

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO BE CONCISE?

It is because:
putting an idea over in few words can show you have understood its
essence
readers would rather see 10 ideas in 500 words than 1 idea and a lot of
padding
busy readers are irritated by having to read lots of words with little
meaning.
adding extra words to meet the word limit does not make you a better
writer

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Lack of focus on the point distracts the readers as well from

understanding the main idea of the sentence.

There are several techniques to make a sentence or paragraph more concise.

1.Use single words instead of groups of words

Example
The committee took into consideration the adoption of the proposal.
This is shorter and says the same thing.
The committee considered adopting the proposal.

Here is a list of wordy expressions that could be reduced to single words.

Wordy Form

Single Form

as a consequence of

because, for

commensurate with

consistent with

despite the fact that

although, despite

for the purpose of

to

if this is not the case

if not

if this is the case

if so

in accordance with

following

in conjunction with

with

in order to

to

in the eventuality of

if

in the light of

according to

in view of the fact that

because

on the assumption that

if

on the subject of

about, concerning

prior to

before

relating to

about

under any other circumstances

unless, except
than
with reference to

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about, concerning

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2. Use punctuation to reduce words

Example
This was the author's first attempt at a paragraph for this section (63 words).
Version 1
Most pieces of work have a word limit. This is to give you an idea of how
much work is expected. Filling up the word limit with excess words will not
get a good mark or grade and going a long way over the limit will not either,
because it suggests that you cannot identify what is essential and write
about it concisely.
This is the final version (43 words).
Version 2
Most pieces of work have word limits, to show how much work is expected.
The following will not get good marks or grades: adding extra words to meet
the word limit; going way over the limit (this suggests you cannot focus on
essentials).
How has the author reduced the number of words?

Used one word instead of a group of words

e.g. This is to give you an idea of becomes to show

Missed words out and replaced them with punctuation

e.g. ...a word limit. This is to... becomes ...a word limit, to...

3. Avoid redundant phrases

Avoid saying the same thing twice.

Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school continue to

vote for better schools.

A phrase that repeats itselflike "true fact," "twelve noon," "I saw it with my
own eyes"is sometimes called a pleonasm.

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Redundant phrases are bad habits just waiting to take control of your writing.
Beware of the following.

Redundancy

The Lean Version

12 midnight

midnight

12 noon

noon

3 am in the morning

3 am

absolutely
spectacular/phenomenal

spectacular/phenomenal

a person who is honest

an honest person

a total of 14 birds

14 birds

biography of her life

biography

circle around

circle

close proximity

proximity

completely unanimous

unanimous

consensus of opinion

consensus

cooperate together

cooperate

each and every

each

enclosed herewith

enclosed

end result

result

exactly the same

the same

final completion

completion

frank and honest

exchange

frank exchange or honest

exchange

free gift

gift

he/she is a person
who . . .

he/she

important/basic essentials essentials

in spite of the fact that

although

in the field of
economics/law
enforcement

in economics/law
enforcement

in the event that

if

job functions

job or functions

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new innovations

innovations

one and the same

the same

particular interest

interest

period of four days

four days

personally, I think/feel

I think/feel

personal opinion

opinion

puzzling in nature

puzzling

refer back

refer

repeat again

repeat

return again

return

revert back

revert

shorter/longer in length

shorter/longer

small/large in size

small/large

square/round/rectangular square/round/rectangular
in shape
summarize briefly

summarize

surrounded on all sides

surrounded

surrounding
circumstances

circumstances

the future to come

the future

there is no doubt but that no doubt

usual/habitual custom

custom

we are in receipt of

we have received

4. Use ACTIVE not PASSIVE VOICE

By using active voice, it can make the tone more interesting and lively. Here
are the examples:

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ACTIVE

PASSIVE

Murad cleans the table.

Murad cleaned the table.

The table is cleaned by Murad

Murad is cleaning the table.

The table was cleaned by Murad.

The table is being cleaned by

Murad.
Murad will clean the table.

The table will be cleaned by

Murad.
Murad has/had cleaned the table.

The table has/had been cleaned by

Murad.

EXERCISE 1
Provide the plural form of the Passive Voice
ACTIVE

PASSIVE

Leslie repairs the radio.

____________________________________
Leslie repaired the television.

Leslie is wiping the table.

____________________________________

Leslie will collect the fruits.

__________________________________

__________________________________
Leslie has/had fixed the door.

____________________________________
5. Avoid using intensifiers that dont intensify
Avoid using words such as really, very, quite, extremely, severely when they
are not necessary. It is probably enough to say that the salary increase is
inadequate. Does saying that it is severely inadequate introduce anything
more than a tone of hysteria? These words shouldn't be banished from your
vocabulary, but they will be used to best effect when used sparingly.

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6. Avoid expletive constructions

Form : it + be-verb or there + be-verb.

This sounds like something a politician has to learn to avoid, but, no, an
expletive construction is a common device that often robs a sentence of
energy before it gets a chance to do its work. Expletive constructions begin
with there is/are or it is.

There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to

attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who
stand to gain the most by the government grant.

Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend the

program next summer. They and their parents stand to gain the most
by the government grant.

7. Avoid abbreviated redundancies

It is redundant to say,
"ATM machine" because ATM means Automated Teller Machine.
"HIV virus" because HIV means Human Immunodeficiency Virus,
"AIDS syndrome" because AIDS means Acquired Immunodeficiency
Syndrome,
"CPU unit" because CPU means Central Processing Unit.
It sounds particularly silly when we come up with a plural such as "CPU units"
Central Processing Unit units.
8. Omit phrases you can omit
Redundancy
Redundant : unnecessary repetition or insertion.
Avoid using unnecessary phrases that add nothing to the meaning of a
sentence.

all things considered

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All things considered, Connecticut's woodlands

are in better shape now than ever before.
All things considered, Connecticut's woodlands
are in better shape now than ever before.
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as a matter of fact

As a matter of fact, there are more woodlands in

Connecticut now than there were in 1898.
as a matter of fact, There are more woodlands in
Connecticut now than there were in 1898.

as far as I'm concerned

As far as I'm concerned, there is no need for

further protection of woodlands.
As far as I'm concerned, there Further protection
of woodlands is not needed.

at the present time

This is because there are fewer farmers at the

present time.
This is because there are fewer farmers now.

because of the fact that

Woodlands have grown in area because of the

fact that farmers have abandoned their fields.
Woodlands have grown in area because farmers
have abandoned their fields.

by means of

Major forest areas are coming back by means of

natural processes.
Major forest areas are coming back through
natural processes. (or naturally)

by virtue of the fact that

Our woodlands are coming back by virtue of the

fact that our economy has shifted its emphasis.
Our woodlands are coming back by virtue of the
fact that because our economy has shifted its
emphasis.

due to the fact that

Due to the fact that their habitats are being

restored, forest creatures are also re-establishing
their population bases.
Due to the fact that Because their habitats are
being restored, forest creatures are also reestablishing their population bases.

exists

The fear that exists among many people that we

are losing our woodlands is uncalled for.
The fear that exists among many people that we
are losing our woodlands is uncalled for.

for all intents and

purposes

The era in which we must aggressively defend

our woodlands has, for all intents and purposes,
passed.
The era in which we must aggressively defend
our woodlands has, for all intents and purposes,
passed.

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for the most part

For the most part, people's suspicions are based

on a misunderstanding of the facts.
For the most part, pPeople's suspicions are based
on a misunderstanding of the facts.

for the purpose of

Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased

for the purpose of creating public parks.
Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased
for the purpose of creating as public parks.

have a tendency to

This policy has a tendency to isolate some

communities.
This policy has a tendency tends to isolate some
communities.

in a manner of speaking

The policy has, in a manner of speaking, begun

to Balkanize the more rural parts of our state.
The policy has, in a manner of speaking, begun
to Balkanize the more rural parts of our state.

in a very real sense

In a very real sense, this policy works to the

detriment of those it is supposed to help.
In a very real sense, this This policy works to the
detriment of those it is supposed to help.

in my opinion

In my opinion, this wasteful policy ought to be

revoked.
In my opinion, thisThis wasteful policy ought to
be revoked.

in the case of

In the case of this particular policy, citizens of

northeast Connecticut became very upset.
Citizens of northeast Connecticut became very
upset about his policy.

in the final analysis

In the final analysis, the state would have been

better off without such a policy.
In the final analysis, the The state would have
been better off without such a policy.

in the event that

In the event that enough people protest, it will

probably be revoked.
If enough people protest, it will probably be
revoked.

in the nature of

Something in the nature of a repeal may soon

take place.
Something in the nature of like a repeal may soon
take place.

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in the process of

Legislators are already in the process of

reviewing the statutes.
Legislators are already in the process of
reviewing the statutes.

it seems that

It seems that they can't wait to get rid of this one.

It seems that they They can't wait to get rid of
this one.

manner

They have monitored the activities of

conservationists in a cautious manner.
They have cautiously monitored the activities of
conservationists.

the point I am trying to

make

The point I am trying to make is that sometimes

public policy doesn't accomplish what it set out
to achieve.
The point I am trying to make is that
someSometimes public policy doesn't accomplish
what it set out to achieve.

type of

Legislators need to be more careful of the type of

policy they propose.
Legislators need to be more careful of the type of
policy they propose.

what I mean to say is

What I mean to say is that well intentioned

lawmakers sometimes make fools of themselves.
What I mean to say is that well Well intentioned
lawmakers sometimes make fools of themselves.

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Exercise 2
Revise these sentences to state their meaning in fewer words. Avoid passive
voice, needless repetition, and wordy phrases and clauses. The first sentence
has been done as an example.
Example
Although Bestari Hall is regularly populated by students, close study of the
building as a structure is seldom undertaken by them.
Answer
Bestari Hall is usually filled with students who do not study the building as a
structure.

1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary

for him to help support his family.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

2. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the ferry

operator within the next few days.
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________

3. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in meeting

foreign students may come to know one.
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________

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4. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been
established for the safety of all.
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________

5. The subjects that are considered most important by students are those
that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Exercise 3
Rewrite the following sentences eliminating meaningless or redundant words.
You may have to modify the sentence structure.
i.

When I asked her about the new job, she sort of looked at
me with anger and basically did not reply.
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

ii.

Now that Bob has truly been fired, appealing to the CEO is
kind of useless.
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

iii.

Each individual will receive a free gift during the ceremony.

_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

iv.

Committee members first began by discussing the new

marketing plan; then they presented the true facts about
foreign imports from Belgium.
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

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_______________________________________________________________

v.

Anthropologists really believe these old fossils are absolutely

crucial to uncovering our past history.
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

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