Preface

This book is meant for boys and girls aged between ten and nineteen years. These are growing up years or
'adolescence' and most exciting years of life. Boys and girls both experience physical and emotional changes. Each
one has a unique way of development. Adolescents try to get adjusted to these changes. However, they have a
curiosity and have several questions about themselves and about the members of the opposite sex. Boys ask about
the sexual aspects whereas the girls are interested in physical aspects, romance and love. Sex drive is dormant
during the infancy and blooms during the adolescence. Sex is a precious privilege of our lives. Like all the other
privileges, sex carries with it certain responsibilities. The only way to prepare them for sharing these responsibilities is
through sexuality education. Ideally it should begin at home and continued at school.
'Sex' means gender. Another meaning of 'sex' is sexual intercourse; while 'sexuality' is the sexual dimension of the
personality. It is everything that is associated with maleness or femaleness of a person. Thinking, feeling and
behaviour as a man or as a woman is sexuality. It is present from birth to death.
The term 'Sex Education' is a misnomer. It should be 'Sexuality Education.' Sexuality begins right from the day the
child is born. It is later shaped differently, depending upon the gender, by the parents, relatives, friends, teachers and
the society. There is a role of genetic factor and of hormones also. How much is the genetic and how much is the
social conditioning is difficult to say. It is not possible to draw a line of demarcation between the two.
Since a man and a woman have to get married and have to stay with the most intimate relationship, it is necessary to
understand the sexuality of the opposite sex, respect it and learn to make adjustments, as and when necessary. This
only will bring harmony in the marital life and in the society.
The status of a girl in Asian countries is still of a second class citizen. From the time she is born, she is looked down
upon; she is deprived of nutrition and education, denied economic freedom, and is supposed to be weak, less
intelligent, and is made dependent either on father, husband or son. The female infanticides, early marriages,
repeated pregnancies, maternal mortalities, dowry deaths are great stimgmas for the womanhood and to the
humanity.
All these are man-made. Nature has made man and woman equal. Every girl and boy has to understand it. The girl
should be proud of being a girl, should seek opportunities as a boy does, and prove her merits. A girl of today is the
mother of tomorrow. Her knowledge and wisdom is going to be of great value in upbringing the next generation.
Parents/teachers may hesitate to give sexuality education to the adolescents, but they get it through other meansin
a wrong way. They are bombarded with sexual messages everywhere they turn, from newspapers, T.V., films to toilet
walls. They are more susceptible to such messages because they are rarely prepared with the sound sexualityrelated information. This may interfere with their ability to develop into healthy and successful adults. Perhaps parents
forget the emotional turmoil-filled days of their own adolescence. They too might have behaved in one way, but may
expect from their children quite different behaviour.
Questions about sex are normal. Sexual feelings cannot be ignored. If parents refuse to relate the information about
sex, children learn through friends or through pornographic literature.
Our society has a high rate of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases), HIV/AIDS, sex scandals, sex related crimes,
premarital pregnancies, promisquity, sexual abuse and rapes, in addition to ever growing population. Sexuality
education brings awareness and can be the answer to these problems.
Sexuality education is not merely providing information; it is conveying values, attitudes and standards.
One way parents can help is through meaningful communication. The subject being delicate and emotionally
charged, the manner should be socially acceptable and the language with standard words for the body parts.
Learning to make responsible decisions and wise choices about sexual behaviour depends on the individual's own
values. Parents have a major responsibility to help their children to make a better choice and wiser decisions.
Learning to make appropriate sexual decisions is important even in early childhood. It enable young children to say

'NO' to inappropriate adult sexual advances. Later, it helps the adolescents to cope with peer pressure to engage in
sexual behaviour that they are not ready for.
Some parents/teachers feel that "too much" information will stimulate curiosity and encourage sexual
experimentation. Actually the reverse is true. Curiosity is natural and does not need stimulation. It has been found
that the adolescents for whom sexuality education is not a taboo, are more likely to make rational decisions and right
judgement in the matter of sex. Parents have misconcepts that sexuality education means information about
intercourse; or discussing sexuality means giving permission to have sex. None of these is true.
Giving children a realistic perspective on sexuality is as important as giving them food, shelter and loving care. If the
children are not asking questions to the parents now, they will be asking for the trouble later. Parents can solve their
questions now, but they may not be able to solve their problems later. Of couse, parents have to be comfortable with
their own sexuality to handle the questions well and without loosing their temper. To some parents, the idea of talking
about sex, saying something to 'it' is just too much. It is alright to feel uncomfortable; but it does not mean that the
parents should stop functioning. If they start early, it is easy and being comfortable will be a habit. It is not necessary
for the parents to be experts. The main thing is that they should be askable. If they do not have an answer, they
should refer a book. They may read aloud to them or give them to read, provided parents have read and approved it.
At times, the parents may feel certain information is not relevant to their teenager. They are free to take the decision
accordingly, but be assured that the needs of the teenagers are much more than what the parents think.
Teachers play an equal role in shaping the personality of the adolescents. What is true for the parents is also true for
the teachers. Teachers too have their own inhibitions. However, adolescents would seek information on sexuality from
their teachers if their parents are not askable or are unable to provide sufficient information.
It is quite possible that at some points the teachers/parents may feel that the information is "awful" "terrible" or "too
much" for the children and may raise their eyebrows. In such case they should ignore and go ahead and realise that
the said information is only for those who would accept it and would like to know something more about it. The
information given is from accepted international books and not as a personal opinion. Repetition of information in
some chapters is purposeful so as to give complete dimension of the topic.
While on the committee of "Maharashtra State Commission for Women" which was preparing a base document on
family life education to adolescents in the State, I came accross the booklet, "Guidelines For Comprehensive
Sexuality Education : Kindergarten to 12th Grade" prepared by National Guidelines Task Force of United States. I
thought it to be quite appropriate for our adolescents if relevant changes were made. Accordingly, the Commission
prepared a background note and circulated it to a large number of teachers, parents, NGOs and other interested
parties. The responses received were considered and a base document was prepared. The subject is now under
consideration of the State Government.
The base document, after certain modifications, has been included in Part II of this book (Ch. 38). It is not a
curriculum but will give the teachers a framework for preparing a programme. The topics therein are grouped under
six headings and under each topic are relevant messages to be introduced to he adolescents. Supportive text for
these messages will be found in Part I of this book. Since Part I is an independent book on adolescent sexuality,
written earlier, it will not synchronize with each message in Chapter 38.
I hope this book will be of help to adolescents, parents, teachers and trainers in understanding and in shaping
adolescents' sexuality.
I am highly grateful to:

1.

Dr. J.V. Bhat, renowned sexologist and Dean of Somaiya Medical College for going through the manuscript
and making valuable suggestions.

2.

Mrs.Vatsala Ram Joshi for pursuing me to write this book.

3.

Shri Balkrishna Joshi for typing the manuscript.

4.

Shri Anil Dabhade for the sketches.

5.

Shri Ashok Kothawale for promptly publishing the book.

6.

My wife, children and grandchildren for sparing me and encouraging me to write the book.

Mumbai, Vithal Prabhu

15th August 1997

To The Parents

Dear Parents
Adolescence is a period of transition between childhood and adulthood. This is the period during which:

1.

The individual progresses from the point of initial appearance of the secondary sex characters to that of
sexual maturity;

2.

The individual psychological processes and patterns of identification develop from those of a child to those
of an adult;

3.

A transition is made from the state of total socio-economic dependence to one of relative independence.

Puberty is the beginning of the adolescence. The height increases and the long bones grow more rapidly giving
leggy appearance. They are clumsy. Parents pay much attention to whether or not their child is pretty. Parents feel
that the child is weak and therefore they feed costly tonics. But these dont work. A high protein and vitamin
containing diet should be given at this age. The boys and girls become self conscious about their look, face, hair and
the girls about the development of their breasts. In order to hide their breasts, the girls stoop. The parents should
discourage stooping and encourage them to accept what they are. If the parents have always kept their child under
their thumb and always made decisions for him, or demanded strict obedience, he will not develop the capacity to
make his own decisions. Therefore, when he goes out into life, he will be completely at sea. He will be devoid of will
and character, and when he has freedom he will not know how to use it. The parents should realize that the youth is
growing up to greater independence. He wants to go his own way, make his own decisions, choose his own friends,
dress the way he likes and read the books he chooses. If the parents interfere with his normal development by laying
down laws, he will resent it.
It is better that the youth learns self discipline during the earlier childhood and adapts himself to the new stage of life
and its responsibilities through independance. The a dolescents also love responsibility. They should be given
opportunities to do the jobs independently. There is a desire to be venturesome. They seek new experiences in life.
They deliberately seek adventures. However, they lack experience and hence cannot anticipate possible dangers in
their ventures. It is for the parents to explain these and share their experiences with them. Adolescents have a
reputation of being rebellious and disobedient. This is because they are setting out to form their own views and gain
their own independence. They are not willing to submit to the authority even of their parents. They claim the right to
their own judgement; make their own choices and resent the adult dictatorship. The adolescents are trying to grow
up, the function of the parents is to help them to grow up and not to hold them back. Therefore, the adolscents should
be left to themselves, to do things for themselves and should only be given help when needed. However, the parents
must not be surprised if the youths refuse to take their advice. Instead of accepting the advice against their
judgement, it is better that they learn to think for themselves.
However independent the adolescents are, they still like their parents to take interest in them and their doings. They
like others to appreciate their achievements. They should not be criticised if they dont do well in the school. A little
encouragement from parents goes a long way. It is not possible for every child to come first in the class. Many great
men did not do well at school. Charles Darwin, Sir Walter Scott, Goldsmith did badly at school. Gurudeo
Rabindranath Tagore, Swami Vivekanand, Lokmanya Tilak, Mahatma Gandhi did not stand first in the class, even

then they became great. It is the encouragement from the parents make them keep trying. If discouraged or criticised
constantly they stop trying. Children always need love and encouragement. The parents should not try their unfulfilled
ambitions to be fulfilled through children. Children have their own likes and dislikes. It is for the parents to recognise
their likes and grant opportunities to them. Let them decide what they want to be. Parents unnecessarily worry about
their children. There is always room at the top. If they choose the subjects of their choice they have better chances of
reaching the top. Adolescents do not like nagging by their parents. If they do, the adolescents turn a deaf ear or
become indifferent. They feel that their parents are possessive, bossy and underestimate their capability. Younger
generation often challenges the values of the older generation. The parents do not appreciate this. However, the
younger generation has important contribution to make by introducing new values.
The role of adults is not to protect adolescents from all adversities and from every difficult experience. They must
allow their teenagers to do their own experimenting. With- out experimenting one does not become responsible. The
role of an adult is to guide and give assistance if the experiment entails risk. Some parents feel that teenagers should
be tolerated; others respond with a feeling of hurt, See how he treats me after all, I have done so much for him!
Still other parents put their foot down and become authoritative. These will only promote defiance and greater friction
between the adolescents and parents. There are basic differences between the sexuality of boys and girls.
The boys are aggressive and girls are receptive. The boys should be told about the wet dreams and the girls should
be informed about the menstruation before they experience it, i.e., by the age of 11 to 12 years. If the parents find it
difficult because of their own inhibitions, they should give a book on sex education to them to read. Boys at this age
are interested in the function of sex and girls are interested in how babies are born. Boys and girls at puberty or
earlier may examine the genitals of one another and indulge in sex play.
As they see the cattles in the field or dogs on the street, they may practise mounting in their play. The parents need
not be furious on this matter and beat the children. If you scold and beat your child, he may develop inhibitions, fears
and complexes that may interfere with his adult sex life. He may not be able to consummate his marriage. The
scientists like Kinsey and John Money have said that such sex plays do not make them homosexuals in adult life.
This behaviour is normal and is a step in the sexual development. It helps in sexual orientation. John Money calls it
sexual rehearsal of the sexual act with the opposite sex and finds it essential for adult normal sexual behaviour.
The child is curious about his body parts as well as those of the opposite sex. It is this curiosity rather than erotic
feelings and the idea of imitating what he sees that provokes him to indulge in sex play. Every parent may not agree
with the above views. No parent would encourage such behaviour in their children. They will be justified if they frown
and discourage sex plays and turn the attention of their children to other forms of play, but they should never scold
them and never get worried about the sex plays. The same holds good in the matter of masturbation. We come
across cases where a responsible father warns his son not to indulge in masturbation because it would harm him.
The child sincerely obeys his father only to land up in trouble after his marriage. Such individual cannot ejaculate
semen and father a child because he has not put the reflexes of ejaculation into action since puberty. It has been
proved that masturbation does not harm, but the misconceptions and fear of masturbation do harm. In fact,
masturbation is a premarital preparation for postmarital sexual intercourse.
Parents need not be worried, if accidentally the child sees the parents naked or while doing the intercourse. They
should behave as if nothing has happened. The psychologists suggest that seeing the parents nude does not harm
the child. Sometimes, the parents are asked about their sexual activity. Without feeling embarrassed or ashamed the
parents should tell the child that they were expressing their love to each other in a way that married people do.
The child should understand that sex is a way of expression of love and that it is appropriate for the married couple
and is a private matter. Finding their daughter in love with her classmate should not make the parents throw tantrums.
This will make them lose communication with their child. Instead, they should explain the difference between real love
and infatuation, the limits to be observed during such relationship and possible pitfalls. It is best that they leave their
child alone for natural development to take its course. The parents should wait and watch. It is not uncommon to find
that their love ralationship changes frequently or terminates abruptly. This is natural. Even if the child continues the
love relationship with the same individual, persuade her/him to postpone marriage. Perhaps she/he may change
her/his mind during the postponement. Even if the child gets married and later ends the relationship, the parents are
needed for love and support. The parents should assure the child that she/he will always be loved and cared for. The
boys should be informed and warned that the sexual abuse is a crime. The girls should be taught how to say NO
when a known or unknown person intends to sexually abuse her.
Adolescents find a strong need to be like the peer group. This leads to their first experience with drugs, smoking or
alcohol.

The drive for freedom, self esteem, insecurity, fear, anger tend to aggravate these addictions. A help from the
psychiatrists should be sought at the earliest before the problem becomes irreversible. Drug dependence should be
suspected when he comes home late at night and he loses his health, his need for pocket money increases, his text
books, watch, ring, transister and some valuable articles disappear from home, he lags behind in his studies, a
complaint is received about his absenteesm from the the college, he becomes arrogant and agitated, his dress is
unclean, hair is not combed, beard is not shaved and he looks untidy. The parents should not be under false belief, It
cannot happen to my child! The successful upbringing of children is the parent's job. It takes both father and mother
to give life to a child and bring that life to maturity. Both should agree on different issues concerning upbringing, may
it be freedom, discipline or punishment to the child. The basic needs of the child are:

1.

Security: A feeling of being wanted.

2.

Affecton: The child craves to be loved.

3.

Understanding: See the strong points and weaknesses objectively.

4.

Acceptance: Beware of comparison.

5.

Empathy: Share his feelings.

6.

Communication: Listen to the child and talk to him and not just scold, order or reprimand.

7.

Recognition: Encourage and praise.

The Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran has precisely defined the principles of parenthood through these lines: Your children
are not your children, They are the sons and daughters of Lifes longing for itself. They come through you, but not
from you, And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of
tomorrow, Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make
them like you. For Life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday. Your are the bows from which your children, as
living arrows, are sent forth; Let your bending in the archers hand be for gladness. Common Questions Asked by
Parents/Teachers Is it all right to teach sex education to school children? Sex education in reality is Sexuality
education. It is a value and attitude oriented education and not the education of sexual relations between a man and
a woman. Sexuality is not obscenity. How could the very basis of existence of life on earth be obscene? Our culture
has never considered sex as obscene. Kama (eroticism) is one of the four Purusharthas (duties and
responsibilities) of a person. Lingam is worshipped in our culture. Moreover, obscenity is in the mind of the person
who sees it that way and not in the object itself. Doesnt sex education shock young people? No. These fears are
groundless.
Sex does not mean the same thing to a child as it is to an adult. Adults are accustomed to think of sex as feelings,
attitudes, behaviour that surround physical act of sexual intercourse. Because of ingrained attitude towards sexual
relations of adults, they cannot think clearly about young persons need for sex education. Will sex education arouse
childs curiosity and create overconcern about it? Sex education if given properly does not arouse curiosity, but does
exactly the opposite. Young persons who know that their parents and teachers talk freely with them about the facts of
life, are less concerned about this subject than other children. Will telling children about sex promote sexual
experimentation? There is no evidence to support this view. Several researches including that done by World Health
Organization, have proved it to be the other way. Sex education encourages young people to delay sexual activity
and to practise safer sex. The sex experimentation is frequently the result of growing concern and curiosity due to
ignorance. Candid answers to young persons questions about sex lessens his need for finding out for himself and
thus reduces urge to experiment.

Factual information helps children and adults make wise decisions. Without the knowledge of facts it is easy to make
mistakes and get into trouble. Attitudes about sexuality are helpful while making decisions about their own behaviour.
Curiosity can lead to sexual experimenting. Teaching children about facts and helping them to develop healthy
attitudes will not prevent all the troubles, but it does help. Will sex education distract the students from their studies?
Physical, psychological and emotional changes in adolescents create anxiety, fear, guilt in them. Researches have
shown that by giving correct information and knowledge about sexuality they overcome guilt, shame and fear and feel
more comfortable than otherwise. Sexuality education creates awareness in them about STD/HIV infection,
premarital pregnancy and substance abuse and guides them to take right decision. Not giving them sex education
may distract their attention from studies than otherwise.
Some parents/teachers say, what will children think of me if I tell them about sex. Such fears are needless. Such
thinking of guilt and shame and embarrassment is in the parents teachers own mind and not in the childrens. They
need not feel so regarding the facts of life for which they are not responsible. Parents and teachers are no more
responsible for natures way with man than for the three seasons, the composition of the atom or eclipse of the moon.
Sex instruction, if given calmly and truthfully, will not shock young people. How to stop children from knowing dirty
words? The child does not know that the word has a sexual connotation. Parents should discuss the meaning and
explain that it is a negative way to talk. Insist that the child should not use the word at home. Parents should not
make children feel that they are unbelievably shocked. Children use such words for impressing friends, or to seek the
attention, without knowing the meaning. How can we be sure our teenager does not have sexual intercourse before
marriage? You cant. All we can do is to do our best. Help him/her develop healthy attitudes to build a value system
which includes confining sexual intercourse to marriage. Allow him/her to become an individual with independent
action.
Most teens make a great effort to live upto trust and expectations of parents. They want their parents to be proud of
them. Do boys need to know about menstruation? Do girls need to know about wet dreams? The earlier the members
of both sexes come to understand the more sympathetic and caring they can be. Boys who think menstruation is
funny or nasty dont understand it.
Efforts need to be made to help children with their understanding and appreciation of both sexes. Animals do not
need sex education, why then for human beings? Animal sexual behaviour is governed by instinctive pattern, while
human sexual behaviour is profoundly influenced by social conditioning and individual learning. Human beings have
the ability to modify the sexual behaviour depending upon the social or individual needs; the animals cannot. The
animals do not face several problems as the human beings. Therefore, a proper guidance and information are
necessary for the human beings. Sex education was not given before. What is the necessity to give it now? Sex
education was given even before the times of Vatsyayana (ad 400). It was Swetaketu (500 bc) who introduced the
institution of marriage in India. Several treatises have been written on sexuality before him and after him. It was after
seventeenth century, when Britishers came to India that they brought obscenity with them and hence the sex
education was discontinued. Now the entire world has realised the importance of it. A lot of reseach in sexuality has
been done world over. An unpdated sexuality education is desired for better quality of life. Should it be mandatory?
India is a free secular, socialistic, democratic republican country. There is also diversity in cultural, religious and social
conditioning.
Sexuality being still considered as a subject of taboo, should better be optional than mandatory. If made mandatory,
certain section of the community will oppose so strongly that there can be countrywide collapse of the entire sexuality
education programme. Parent's permission and co-operation from teachers and heads of the institutions should be
solicited. Therefore, they should be simultaneously motivated for sexuality education. Should it be included in the
curriculum? To make it universal, the sexuality education programme should ideally be included in the school/college
curriculum. However, since the teachers find the syllabus load already heavy, the sexuality education programme
should be plugged into other subjects as found fit, or should be treated as an extracurricular activity. Could the
programme be made universal? Other than the school/college students, the dropouts, the street children and the
handicapped children would need sexuality education.
It is an herculean task to include all. However, school/college children make a big group and is administratively
convenient. Therefore, it will be easier to start at school and college levels. No doubt, there are several NGOs, which
have already been doing laudable work in sexuality education for other groups.

Sex Education
If the average person knew as little about eating as he does about sex, he would quickly starve to death Dr. David
Reuben Sexual Health Sexual health is the integration of somatic, emotional, intellectual and social aspects of
sexual being, in ways that are positively enriching and that enhance personality, communication and love. World
Health Organization Fudamental to this concept is the right to sexual information and the right to pleasure. According
to Mace and others sexual health includes three basic elements:

1.

A capacity to enjoy and control sexual behaviour in accordance with a social and personal ethic.

2.

Freedom from fear, shame, guilt, false belief and other psychological factors inhibiting sexual response and
impairing sexual relationship.

3.

Freedom from organic disorders, diseases and deficiencies that interfere with sexual and reproductive
functions. Sexuality is a dimension of personality.

It implies thinking, feeling and behavioural reactions associated with maleness or femaleness of an individual. Human
sexuality refers to whole range of behaviour associated with psycho-biological phenomena of sex. Sex drive lies
dormant in childhood, blooms in adolescence, flowers in youth and wills in old age. The critical period is that of
adolescence when curiosity about sex is highest.
Sex Education (Here and elsewhere in this book the term Sex Education is loosly used and it means Sexuality
Education.) Sex education is defined as an educational programme aimed at promoting the individuals fulfillment,
both in personal living and in his family and social relationships, by integrating sexuality in total personality. Sex
education is a lifelong process of acquiring information and forming attitudes, beliefs and values about identity,
relationship and intimacy. World Health Organization (WHO) and International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF)
have stressed the need of sex education. National Council of Education Research and Training (NCERT) has
accepted it in principle WHO Findings

1.

Sexuality education programme does not hasten the onset of intercourse. It can delay the onset of
intercourse.

2.

There is no evidence that the sexuality education leads to earlier or increased sexual experience.

3.

Sexuality education increases the adoption of safer practices by sexually experienced youth.

Sex Education : Why?

To acquire information, beliefs and values about identity, relationships, intimacy and reproductive biology. To
understand the positive view of sexuality. To provide information and skills about taking care of and to promote their
sexual health. To help them make decisions now and in future. To prepare for marriage and responsible parenthood.
To learn to enjoy and control their sexual behaviour and to promote responsible reproductive behaviour. For freedom
from shame, guilt and false beliefs about sexuality.
For freedom from sexual dysfunctions and organic disorders. To create awareness about sexual abuse, teenage
pregnancy, STD-HIV infection, population explosion and quackery. To create awareness about sexual-social issues
like gender discrimination, child marriage, dowry, prostitution and Deodasees. The primary goal of sex education is
promotion of sexual and reproductive health. There is a pressing need to raise the levels of information of the young
people who are embarking on sexually active life. From experience and research it is clear that sex education has the
potential to improve the sexual health of an individual, and so of community and of the nation. Sex education is like
immunization. It can help to prevent physical, psychological, marital and social problems related to sexuality.
The word Sex/Sexuality is still a taboo in many cultures. Therefore it may be camouflaged by calling as: Adolescent
Health Education Family Life Education Population Education Though each differs in some respects, it does
include sex education. Sex Education to Children under Ten Years Sex education to adolescents can best be a
continuation of sex education to children; and hence is discussed here briefly.
Tips For Parents/Teachers :
Sex education begins at birth. Each new born baby needs to be wanted, loved and accepted. Building feelings of self
worth is an important part of sex education. Patents should love, kiss, touch and hold the baby close to them. Answer
questions when they come up. If you don't know the answer admit it and find it out. The answer should be with
honest, simple and brief explanation. If children do not come out with questions, ask them if there is anything they
would like to know. The child should be given information in a scientific and objective manner, without making the
child feel embarrassed. Use standard terminology in regional language.
Who should give sex education? Father or mother?
The parent to whom the question is directed should answer it. Though there is wisdom in mother-to-daughter and
father-to-son approaching, sometimes atleast both parents should discuss sex matter with the child. During
schooling, the teacher should pick it up. In fact, sex education is a joint responsibility of home school, college and
community institutions. If child is found touching or rubbing its genitals it indicates resentment, anxiety or guilt. Ignore,
distract or substitute with a toy, game or with a sweet. Instruct the child (without scolding) not to do it in public. Never
say, "Do not ask such stupid question" "Don't play with yourself" "You dirty boy" 'Shut Up" Parents should tell their
children the correct name of the genital organ, as Penis, testis, vulva, vagina, anus as and when concerned;
otherwise children will learn slang words from their friends. To avoid sexual abuse of children, the parents - should
give the following instructions to their children

a.

Do not allow any one to touch your private parts

b.

Do not touch other's private parts if asked to

c.

Do not keep it secret, if any such thing happen

d.

Do not accept sweets or gifts from unknown person

e.

Do not accompany unknown person if asked to.

Assure youngsters later especially when they go through puberty- that they are normal. Built up children's self
esteem. Recognise their talents and accomplishments and avoid comparing them with others. If the child is caught
while indulging in masturbation, the parents should realise that masturbation is a natural stage in development of a
child.
When should Sex Education begin?
Sexuality education is a life long process of acquiring information, forming attitudes beliefs and values. Sex education
should begin whenever the child asks the question, regardless of age of the child. If the children are old enough to
ask questions, they are old enough to get the answers. Some children ask questions about sex by the age of three
years. Others may ask earlier or later. Whenever the child asks the first question about sex, it is the time for the
parents to answer.
The parents answers and the way they voice them, play an important part in forming children's future attitude and
basic opinions about sex. Frank and honest response can help assure them of a healthy outlook. Their curiosity
about sexual matters is without sensuality and as simple as that about plants and animals. Would it be dangerous to
speak to him prematurily? Better a year too soon than a minute too late.
What if the child does not ask? Then find out the occasion: pregnancy in the family, arrivel of a sibling a movie, or a
story. When to seek outside counselling help? When you are very concerned about a behaviour or a problem, don't
hesistate to take help. Often help is directed toward the parents or the whole family rather than toward the child.
When help is sought early, the problem may be solved easily. Child guidance Clinics, Psychylogist, Psychiastrists,
Counsellors, sex therapists and family service agencies offer help.
The need for sex education at the age of 3 to 10 years: 1) That they have come from both their father and mother. 2)
Elementary information of fertilization, pregnancy and delivery. 3) The object of this teaching is to strengthen their
sense of belonging to their parents, and thus also their sense of security. 5) This will enable children to set off any
false idea that they may have acquired from their peers or from mass media. All that is required is to give factual
knowledge of sexual matters by asking questions put by the child over the years.
Age 3 to 7 years
IChild has ability to identify with the parent of the same sex.

i.

There is a steady liberation from a strong dependence on parents.

ii.

There is considerable interest in sexual sphere.

iii.

There is a need to mix with children of the same age and observe intersex differences in physical structure.
The sex roles are also increasingly stabilised.

iv.

An awareness of acting (or not acting) according to the demands and expectations of the immediate
environment is developed.

v.

Playing with genitals is a normal phenomenon.

Age 7 to 10 years

1.

The information on sexuality given at this level should be elementary. Children at this age are intellectually
incapable of acquiring a coherent picture as regards to anatomy and physiology of sex organs. However, all
questions put by children should be answered.

2.

Children receive false information from their school friends and through media that needs correction and
creates insecuity and anxiety.

3.

Teaching should be in the form of discussion and should utilise childrens' own questions and relate to
current events.

The idea that a background for sex education can suitably be prepared by discussing reproduction in plants and
animals (Birds and Bees) has persisted in general consciousness. Such an approach is rejected on the grounds that
children at that age do not possess a knowledge of plant and animal reproduction sufficiently extensive to provide a
basis and starting point for teaching reproduction in man. Instead, teaching should start directly with a discription of
how children are born, thus relating directly to the child's own life situation.
Menstruation : Information may be given that the female genitalia function in such a way that bleeding occurs once a
month from the uterus into the vagina. Nothing abnormal need be feared if it takes place between 10 to 16 years. The
most usual age is 13 years.
Intercourse : Children put logical question of how the sperm cells of man get over to the egg cell of woman. It
becomes terrible and awful for many parents/teachers to tell the child the fact of life. Child himself will listen without
any sensuous feeling that the father puts his penis in the slit between two legs of mother and thus sperm cells from
him get into the mother.
This information should be supplemented with an explanation that this is called "intercourse" and is something which
has to do with love, tenderness, closeness and togetherness marriage and also arrival of a baby. Otherwise seeing
the dogs copulating on the street, the boys may feel that the act of intercourse goes on for hours. After hearing from
their friends or after seeing a rape seene on the T.V. the girls may say that intercourse is something strange and awful
and that they would not like to participate when they grow. Such reaction cannot be avoided by not mentioning
anything about intercourse in sex education. They will have to acquire knowledge in any case. It is desirable that the
reaction should emerge when the child is in contact with the parents/teacher.
The girl should know that it is a natural process, that the whole thing will feel different when she grows up, that it is
not painful and that in any case she need to experience it before getting married. (Those girls who receive the
message that intercourse is painful may suffer from a condition called "Vaginismus", an involuntary spasm of the
vaginal muscle at the intercourse that may lead to unconsummation and marital disharmony.)
Pregnancy : The reasons for dealing with it are that it is an account of child's "past history" and that girls are worried
that it will be extremely painful when they bear children themselves. Boys and girls find information of pregnancy
useful when further child is expected in the family.
Delivery : The question that whether it hurts to have a baby should be answered in the affirmative. It should be
mentioned that it is different for different people. Coloured pictures will help to understand the elementary knowledge
about the subject. However, photographs showing blood and other details can frighten the children and hence should
not be shown.

Sexual Behaviour of children from Birth to ten years :

Birth to Two years : Infants learn about sexuality through being held and caressed and as they begin to explore their
own body. By the age of one year most babies enjoy touching their genitals. Normal curiocity makes babies start to
explore their own bodies. During the process of toilet training, childer become more aware of their genital agea. All
babies explore their sex organs and some like to fondle them often.
Three to four years : Children begin asking questions about, "where babies come from" Three years old is too
young to understand anatomical differencess in males and females. At the age of 4, boys have increased genital
sesations. They grasp their genitals when upset. By the age of 4, they begin playing" Mummy and Daddy" or "Doctor"
and examine one another's genitals. This behaviour is a natural part of developing sexual indentification. They are
capable of all the sensual feelings. They just don't see it as "sexual". Children may like to watch adults getting
undressed. They learn about public and private behaviour and about respecting privacy of others.
Five to Six years : They want to become close to the same sex parent. They become sure of their masculinity or
feminity. This is the time to bring sexual topic and encourage openness about sexuality. By five years most children
become modest and want to have privacy for dressing and bathroom use. Their interest in sex play is less than at the
age of four. Children become sensitive to difference between two sexes. They develop strong same-sex friendship
and increased interest in male/female roles. Children became conscious that certain kinds of questions make adults
uncomfortable. But just because they don't ask questions does not mean that they don't have questions. They are
aware of AIDS, rape, child abuse, family planning etc. So, parents need to keep on talking News paper headline can
be used as a conversation opener.
Six to eight years : Children learn new words referring to sexuality. Some of them are slang. Such words may be
used as an attention seeking device. Self esteem and decision making are enhanced through the responsibilities the
child has at home e.g. making his bed, helping in daily chores he likes. The child learns to direct his activities in
construtive ways.
Sexual fantasies involving a male/female relative are quite common at this age. Parents need to convey to children
that feelings, thoughts and fantasies should be accepted non judgementally and that they are not synonymous with
carrying out fantasy. Chidren playing with one's own genitals, is common act at this age. If they do this openly, they
should be reassured that it is not wrong but that it is one of the things that people do in private.
Nine to Ten Years : Rapid growth spurts are common. Some develop early others late. Some rapidly, others slowly.
The nipples may start budding. In some boys and girls hari may start growing in pubic region. Priate fendling of
genitals occurs. It is a normal activity and is a natural release for sexual tension. Questions about intercourse may
arise. Honest answers are best because children hear many stories from the friends. Adult emotions involved in
sexual intercourse are beyond the capacity of the preteen to understand. Physical changes are a major concern to
them. They will often examine the genitals of friends of opposite sex or of the same sex. This is the way they
compare and confirm their own physical development as being acceptable.
Common Questions asked by children :
Age 3-6
Q.: Mummy, why Mary is not like me?
A.: John, boys are different from girls. All boys have a small pipe like yours between the legs and all girls have a little
opening just like Mary's between the legs. That is the main difference between a boy and a girl.
Q.: How is that boys don't pise by sitting?
A.: Boys have a little pipe for passing urine, so, they need not sit. Girls do not have it. They sit and pass the urine to
avoid spilling urine on their clothers. Girls have a special place between their legs for passing urine.
Q.: How are baies made?
A. When mom and dad make love, and when they want to have a baby, a cell from father's body joins the egg cell in
the mothers body. That starts a baby as small as a pin point. The baby grows in a special space in the mother's
tummy and comes out through a passage between her two legs.

Q.: How does the baby come out?

A.: The baby comes out through the passage situated between the two legs of the mother.
Q.: Where does baby come from?
A.: From a special space in mother's tummy.
Q.: Does food fall on baby's head?
A.: No. Baby grows in a special bag situated in the lower part of the tummy.
Q.: How did baby get in there?
A.: When father and mother make love, father puts his penis int he split the mother has between her legs. The cell
from father gets into the mother and meets the egg cell in the mother. (The child has no possibility of imagining the
pleasure of intercourse.)
Q.: Shall I see the place from where I came?
A.: No it is a private place.
Q.: Shall I see how you and dad make a baby.
A.: No. making baby is a private affair. Making a baby needs a personal and special relationship.
Q.: Does it hurt when the baby comes out?
A.: Yes, a bit, but mummy forgets it because of love towards her child.
Q.: Mummy, will dad have a baby?
A.: No. He doesn't have the special space for developing a baby.
Q.: Can a girl plant a baby in boys' tummy?
A.: No. Only the boys can plant a baby and only the girls can have a baby.
Q.: Why aunty does not make a baby?
A.: Quite a lot of people cannot have children. So they may adopt a baby and bring them up with all love and care.
Age 7 to 10
Q.: Will I have breasts like you?
A.: (To a girl) Yes when you are grown up. (To a boy) No. Boys do not develop breats as girls
Q.: What is a condom?
A.: It is a rubber sheath used by men to prevent giving birth to a child and to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.
Mummy, what is sanitary pad used for?
A.: All the girls when they are about 12 or 14, start bleeding every month from the passage between two legs. It is a
stage when a girl grows into a woman. It is a natural process. Nature makes certain preparations in her body every
month. Unwanted tissues and blood are thrown out of her body. This is called "menstruation". Every girl has a small
bag in the lower part of her belly to hold the baby, when it arrives. Nature prepares in it a bed of tissures and blood
every month, to be thrown out every month until a girl gets pregnant, when the baby grows on this bed. After she
delivers a baby, the process of menstruation starts again every month.
Q.: Why boys do not get menstruation?
A.: They do not have a uterus where baby grows.
Q.: Do girls get wet dreams?
A.: No. They do not have organ to process semen, and so they do not discharge any fluid in their sleep.
Q.: What are testes for?
A.: When grown up the testes produce some chemical called teststorone hormone that is responsible for promoting

boys to manhood. When grown up the testes produce innumerable small cells called "sperms" that are required for
making a baby.
Q.: Can I have a baby.
A.: No. Girls after growing up become women. They get married at a proper age. After marriage they have sexual
intercourse with their husband. When the sperm cell from the man meets the ovum cell in the woman, a baby is made
(born). Earlier, sex education was thought to be introduced to children by way of reproduction in plants and animals.
Since these topics are taught in the class and since this information does not satisfy their curiosity about their own
body, it was thought best to be specific and provide information about human being, and try to develop the right
attitudes and values.

Sex Education To Adolescents

Why to Adolescents?
Sex education should be provided to all. However, our resources are limited. Priority is given to adolescents
because:

1.

They have a maximum sex drive.

2.

They form a high risk group.

3.

They are eager to get information because of the physical and physiological changes.

4.

Their common sources of information (misinformation) are their friends, blue films and pornographic
literature.

5.

They are easily influenced and therefore likely to go astray and land in probems of unmarried motherhood,
abortions, STD/HIV infections, sexual abuse.

6.

They are going to be the responsible citizens of tomorrow.

Adolescents gather information about sexuality from friends and through the print and electronic media. Often this
information is wrong and unscientific. They have a great curiocity and concern about the sexuality of their own and of
the opposite sex. Adolescents often have neither access to accurate information on the issues related to sexuality
and sexual health, nor solutions for their problems, due to socio-cultural barriers.
There is a rising rate of morbidity associated with sexual ignorance, poor decision making and inadequate sexuality
education.
The studies on the effects of sex education in schools show that sex and AIDS education often encourages young
people to delay sexual activity and to practise safer sex, once they are active. This is contrary to the popular belief
that teaching young people about sexuality and contraception encourages sexual experimentation.

In a study of AIDS prevention programme done by UNICEF of selected Municipal Schools in Bombay (Mumbai), it
was found that students queries ranged from sexual intercourse to marriage and sexual harassment. Many womens
organizations feel that the girls should not be ignorant about basic facts of life and become victims of sexual abuse,
unwanted pregnancy and deception.
A survey shows that 50% of the daily clientele of an STD clinic comes from 15 to 25 age group. Children are not less
informed but they are malinformed. Ignorance and misinformation provide the ideal environment for all sorts of risky
behaviour. It is such behaviour that spreads HIV infection. Aims of Sex Education to adolescents

ITo help children understand that each part of the body and each phase of growth is good and purposeful.

1.

To understand the process of reproduction.

2.

To prepare children for the changes of developments which come with growing up.

3.

To help young people see that sexual conduct involving other persons needs to be based upon a sincere
regard for the welfare of the other.

4.

To make children proud of their own sex and appreciate attributes and capacities of the other sex.

5.

Responsible sex behaviour.

6.

Building up of healthy attitudes to sex.

The aim is of prepare the adolescents of today to be productive, to have responsible and positive social-sexual
behaviour, and to be caring and healthy adults of tomorrow. The need for this is knowledge, attitudes and skill gained
through sequential sexuality education programme. Sex Education is:

1.

Information: To provide accurate information about human sexuality, including growth and development,
human reproduction, anatomy and physiology of genital organs, pregnancy, child birth, parenthood,
contraception, abortion, sexual abuse, HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases (STD).

2.

Attitude, values and insight: Opportunity to question, explore and assess their sexual attitudes in order to
develop their own values, increase self-esteem, develop insights concerning relationships with members of
both genders, and understand their obligation and responsibilities to others.

3.

Relationships and interpersonal skills: Help them develop skills like communication, decision making,
assertiveness, peer refusal skills and ability to create satisfactory relationships. Develop capacity for caring,
supportive, non-coercive and mutually pleasurable intimate relationships.

4.

Responsibility: To help young people exercise responsibility regarding sexual relationships, including
abstinence; resist pressure to prematurely involve in sexual intercourse and encourage the use of
contraception and other health measures.

To avoid teenage pregnancy, STD and HIV infection and sexual abuse. When to Begin?
There is little value in giving anyone information after the moment when they need it. Girls need to know about
menstruation before it happens to them, and boys need to know about mastubation before they are experiencing the
desire to masturbate. Boys experience nocturnal emissions from the age of about 14 years and girls attain menarche
at the age of about 13 years. Some boys and girls experience these events even a year of two earlier. It is felt that the
adolescent sex education should begin before these events take place.
Std. VI (age 11 years) is thought to be the age when sex education for adolescents should begin. Ideally sexuality
education for adolescents should be introudced from Class VI (age 11 years) and continued through junior and senior
colleges (age-20 years).
Students of Std. X and XII should be spared for their Board examinations. The aim is to provide information and
guidance before they become curious, face problems due to physical and psychological changes or become sexually
active. How to implement? Sexuality education should be offered as a part of overall comprehensive health education
programme. It should include health promotion and disease prevention.
The sexuality education should be taught in a graded manner like mathematics. Secondly, the messages once
introduced should be reinforced repeatedly at different levels. Agewise suitable curriculum should be available. Level
I Std. VI to X - Age 11 to 15 years. to cover basics and essentials. Level II Junior College and Senior College
Age 16 to 20 years to cover advanced studies and reinforce- ment of education. It is possible to develop more than
the above two levels for the age group of 11 to 20, but then it would be difficult to demarcate the borderline between
the levels while teaching the subjects.
Some aspects of sex education are gender specific and hence gender relevant. Therefore, separate sessions for
boys and girls give opportunity to discuss the concerned topics at length, avoid embarrassment while discussing the
subject and overcome shyness and anxiety while listening and enable them to share their doubts and views openly.
Girls feel shy, embarrassed and uncomfortable in the presence of boys and hence non-communicative. Therefore,
they do not participate in the open discussion. Girls and boys have different problems. If the sex education
programmes are to be made acceptable, girls and boys should be given sex education separately. The general topics
of sexuality and health could be discussed in a male-female mixed group, while specific issues related to different
sexes should be discussed separately in the respective groups.
The advantages of combined sessions are saving of time and repetition, fostering healthy interpersonal relationship
between boys and girls, developing mutual respect and reducing inhibitions and anxiety about the subject in the
presence of the opposite sex.
The girls and boys feel more comfortable if the resource person is of the same sex as their's. Girls ask questions
related to menstruation and gynaecological disorders. Boys ask questions related to virility, masturbation, wet
dreams, size of penis and coitus.

Teachers and students will feel more comfortable if they both are of the same gender. Therefore, it is preferable that
the girls are given sex education by female teacher and boys by male teacher. There will be a necessity of having
one male and one female educator in the school. These teachers should be trained by social workers, doctors,
sexologists and psychologists.
Recommendations:

1.

Sex education should be commensed before the onset of puberty.

2.

It should be provided in a graded manner and should be spread over a period of 8 to 10 years.

3.

It should be optional. This would help overall acceptance of the concept in the long run.

4.

Parent's permission should be obtained and their cooperation should be solicited.

5.

Sex education may be a part of the curricular or extracurricular activity.

6.

An evaluation of the programme should be done, feed- back received, review and analysis done, and the
programme should be modified from time to time.

7.

Teaching should have a social perspective.

8.

Answers be given truthfully.

9.

Use correct names for various organs.

10. Parents/teachers should not be panic stricken or shocked if the child asks questions or indulges in sex play.
Curiosity is normal. Such situation should be handled without rebuke, punishment or creating guilt feelings.

11. Parents and teachers should inculcate a sound sense of values and ideals. They should help young people
capture the vision that sex is not a grimy secret between two ashamed individuals but divine impulse of life
and love.

Teaching at school:
(Sex education in the school can best be extension of the sex education provided at home.)

1.

Teaching should be scientifically correct.

2.

It should be a two way dialogue.

3.

The subject being emotionally charged, the language used and the manner of conducting of the programme
should be socially acceptable.

4.

The groups of students should be homogeneous in age and in cultural background.

5.

If the teaching is round the year, 45 minutes to 1 hour session once a week should be adequate. Half a day
or full day workship periodically 4 times a year would serve as an alternative.

6.

Talks should be supported by audio-visual aids.

7.

Group should not be over 50. Otherwise two way communication is difficult to establish.

8.

Should begin as a pilot project.

a.

At least one trained teacher

b.

Support of administration

c.

Support of parents and teachers. A talk should be arranged for them so as to give an idea of the
contents of the programme. Prior permission of the parents of participating students would be
obligatory.

d.

Informal experimental programme should be undertaken on a modest scale and carefully planned
to avoid culture-based sensational and needlessly controversial topics.

Implementation of programme:
The method and contents will depend upon: a) Availability of human resources b) Availability of time c) Availability of
audio-visual aids d) Age, educational level, sex and cultural background of the group.
Methods: 1) Talks 2) Group discussion 3) Question box 4) Question-Answer sessions 5) Role play 6) Drama 7) Story
telling 8) Debates 9) Showing films or slides Though, talks is a conventially used method, the other methods, if used,
could bring a variety in the programme and maintain interest of the students.
Several topics could be picked up for the debates and dramas, e.g., STD/AIDS, teenage pregnancy, dowry,
premarital counselling, myths and misconceptions, homosexuality, child marriage, sexual abuse, gender
discrimination, selection of partner. Question Box approach for sex education is found to be effective. This method
consists of installing a question box in a central place in the school/college campus. By putting a notice on the Notice
Board all the students are informed to write questions (without writing their name) about their health problems or
questions relating to their bodies and put them in the box. Once a week the box is opened by the teachers and the
questions written therein are answered.
Question box approach to sex education is found to be convenient, easy to implement, takes care of embarrassment
and fulfils the needs of the adolescents. Should sex education programme be included in a regular secondary school
curriculum? Though, majority of principals and teachers are in favour of including sex education in the secondary
school curriculum, some have expressed their reservations for it, the reasons being (1) Some topics are sensitive and
may raise controversy, (2) Sex education would raise unnecessary curiosity and lead to misconduct among students.
(3) Students are already overburdened with studies, (4) Schools have no extra time to allocate for sex education.
Who should give Sex Education?
Sexuality education should be taught by specially trained teachers or professionals or by trained peer groups. The
community must be involved in the development and implementation of the programme. The programme must be
carefully developed to respect the diversity of the values and beliefs represented by the community. Parents,
teachers, administrators should be involved in developing a programme. In fact, briefing them about the developed
programme prior to its implementation to students is quite essential. Preferably, the curriculum and the audiovisuals
should be pretested.
Who Should train?
Sexologists, doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, teachers, volunteers, NGOs, media persons, peer groups
etc. They should be trained in the subjects. Since the subject of sex education is multidisciplinary, more than one
resource persons may be required. Government, municipality, NGOs, can render help. Not only the knowledge of
sexuality but the methodology should also be included in the training. The Trainers/Teachers should Have acquired
accurate knowledge Have a good communication skill Have a good listening skill Be able to establish good rapport
with students and teachers Be non judgemental Be comfortable with his/her own sexuality.
Maintain confidentiality Selection of teachers:
It has been indicated by the adolescents in a survey that they would prefer to get such information from their
teachers. Teachers are also best judges about the level of understanding of school child and they would be the best
persons to screen or filter the socially unacceptable portions of such training. However, not all teachers would
volunteer to participate in the project.

Teachers have their own inhibitions, misconceptions and confusions. Therefore, those teachers who volunteer for
teaching sex education should be selected for training. It requires a gifted prudent and morally upright teacher to
stand up before a group of young people and impress upon them that sex is precious and dignified. Therefore, not
every teacher may be willing to undertake sex education and not every teacher who is willing to give sex education
has the ability to do so.
Sometimes the most enthusiastic teacher may be the least suitable. The teachers should be selected only after
thorough knowledge of their personality, attitudes and behaviour. Students should be encouraged to act as peer
educators, and to share important information with those who dont have access to it in the way they do.
Organizational Chart\
When the sex education programme is to be implemented on a large scale, the following organizational chart will be
of help.
Planners : Core Committee: Govt. representatives Civic body representatives Experts in Human Sexuality
Representatives from NGOs Representatives from Principals of schools/colleges Master Trainers : Sexologists
Psychologists Trained social workers Doctors Key Trainers : Teachers Volunteers Beneficiaries : Students Parents
Audio-visual Aids and Resource Material 1. Chalk-Blackboard 2. Charts/Pictures 3. Models 4. Slides and slide
projector 5. Overhead projector 6. Video cassettes 7. Films 8. Books 9. Newspaper cuttings. At present many types of
audio-visuals are not easily available. It is better to prepare ones own audio-visuals that will meet the needs of the
group.
Cultural differences in customs, dress, language and behaviour becomes so important that materials judged to be
suitable in one region or culture may be totally unacceptable in another. Therefore, each cultural group should
develop its own appropriate teaching aids. In order to achieve the best possible outcome from any programmes, it is
necessary to invest in the development of competence of people who will be involved. Pretesting Pretesting inolves
getting feedback on communication materials prior to their widespread diffusion by measuring the reaction of a group
of individuals in the target audience. Pretesting is a cost effective means of avoiding a communications disaster. If
materials are inappropriate, misunderstood or unappealing, they will not be worth and should be changed. Pretesting
finds out whether the curriculum and the audio-visual materials are acceptable to the culture, whether the message is
clearly understood and whether the materials are relevant.
Outcome:
The entire exercise of sex education is directed towards certain desired outcome. After getting sexuality education,
the adolescent is expected to demonstrate certain life behaviours such as: Appreciation of ones own body
Interaction with both genders respectfully and in appropriate ways Expression of love and intimacy in appropriate
ways Development and mainteinance of meaningful relationship Living according to ones values Taking
responsibility for ones own behaviour Practising effective decision making Communicating effectively with family
and peers Enjoying ones sexuality throughout life Enjoying sexual feeling without guilt, shame and fear
Discrimination between life enhancing sexual behaviours and those that are harmful to self and for others.
Expression of ones sexuality while respecting the rights of others. Sexual relationship that are characterised by
honesty, equality and responsibility. Prevention of sexual abuse/rape. Avoidance of unintended pregnancy.
Avoidance of contracting or transmitting STD/HIV Use of contraception as and when necessary. Early prenatal
care Health promoting behaviour like regular check up. Awareness about sex scandals Awareness about child
marriage and population explosion. Freedom from sexual inhibition/overactivity. Avoidance of premarital and
extramarital relationship. Freedom from sexual dysfunctions. Happy married life and responsible parenthood.
Refrain from quackery in the matters of sexuality. Tolerance for people with different sexual values and life styles.
Responsibility to abide by legislation dealing with sexual issues. Assessment of impact of cultural, religious, social
meassages and media on ones thoughts, feeling, values and behaviour related to sexuality. Awareness about
social evils like dowry deaths, female infanticide, gender discrimination, premarital pregnancy, child marriage,
exploitation of females, sexual abuse and prostitution.
Ethics in Sex Education:
No body contacts No slang language No vulgar jokes No use of naked photographs/pornography No late hours No
individual training Non judgemental No religious, cultural criticism No sharing of and asking for personal experiences
No emotional involvement No advertisement or promotion of any commercial product. Confidentiality about the
communication on sexual and personal matters. Be honest and answer truthfully all the questions posed by children.
Evaluation:
It is essential to receive the feedback, evaluate and analyse and modify the programme from time to time. Evaluation

helps in knowing the effectivenss and shortcomings of the programme conducted. Suitable modifications can be
made in the next programme to make them more effective. The data collected can be useful for research. The
evaluation form should contain personal details (name may be optional so as to hide the identity) and the comments
about the contents of the programme, the speakers, the audio-visuals, the duration and other details.
Evaluation can also be based on stated objectives of the course and cover attitudinal, behavioural and cognitive
changes. Questionnaire or interviews in small groups intended to identify the needs of participants will determine how
far these are being met. On the basis of information gained from these sources the curriculum will require continuing
modification and restructuring.
Research
There are several methods of sex research. Each method has strengths and weaknesses. The selection of the
method will depend upon the nature of the subject to be studied and the resources available. The methods are:
Surveys, Observational research, Case studies, Clinical research, Experimental research.
Survey
Research Surveys are used for gathering information about a sample of population either by interviewing people or
asking them to fill a questionnaire. Surveys are economical and permit flexibility in sampling. Surveys are affected by
the accuracy of information provided by the subjects in answering questionnaires or interviewers questions.
Reliability of surveys depend upon obtaining a proper sample.
Observational Research
It involves the use of human observer or an instrument to record the events being studied. The study of sexual
response done by Masters and Johnson was a landmark. The accuracy in observational research does not depend
upon subjects self-reports. Volunteer bias may pose uncertainties in this method.
Case Studies
Case studies are in-depth examinations of one or more people having a particular condition. Generalization can- not
be done in this method. The biases of researcher can also put limitations.
Clinical Research
It involves studies that test a type of treatment given for specific problem. The reliability will be maximum when done
in comparison with a control group.
Experimental Research
It permits scientists to isolate specific variables that affect a condition or a behaviour and may allow them to draw a
conclusion about cause and effect. Experimental research is expensive and difficult to perform. Volunteer bias,
artificiality of situation may limit the validity of such studies. At present surveys seem to be the only possible method
of research in our country. In evaluating the quality of research study it is necessary to look at such issues as the size
and nature of the sample, the means by which data was collected, the type of data analysis that was done and the
researchers discussion about the limitations of the study. It is necessary to see whether the study has been
replicated elsewhere. Independent verification or research is most powerful tool for confirming the validity of a study.
Planning a Curriculum
There are no published countrywide accepted national guidelines for comprehensive adolescent sexuality education.
Sex educators and teachers create their own curriculum for sexuality education. Some include anatomy and
physiology of sex organs, physical, emotional changes at puberty, STD and AIDS, nutrition and hygiene and family
planning; while some include family life issues such as relationship between family members, gender role,
socialization and child development; few provide information about cultural and social aspects of human sexuality,
sexual values and attitudes, beliefs, sexual activities and functioning. Very few include information on sexual
behaviour.
Every expert has been dealing with it from ones own perspective and experience. Therefore, there is a need for a
comprehensive course in sexuality education. There can be no ideal curriculum that will meet the needs of every
community. However, there can be a document containing guidelines on topics that may be presented to the
adolescents in a developmentally appropriate manner, and to suit their needs. These guidelines are given in the next
chapter. The characteristic of local situation should determine the exact contents of the local programme.

Community attitudes, developmental differences in children, local socioeconomic influence, parents expectations,
students needs and expectations and religious and other perspectives should be paramount in designing the local
sexuality education programme.
The suggestions given in the agewise guidelines should also be flexible. It is important to allow as much autonomy as
possible at local level to develop contents and methods which are suitable to local circumstances and preferences. In
early years of life, the focus of student-interest is his own developmental adjustment with reference to sexual
behaviour. At the later stage, when he has accepted his own sexuality and established his values, he is ready to
concentrate on assimilation of knowledge, especially of those aspects of sexuality that seem most relevant to his
special areas of interest.
Sex relationships are most sensitive of all human relationships. A programme will not be effective if there is no
understanding of moral, ethical, aesthetic and religious sensibilities of the people for whom the curriculum is
designed. Apart from accepting a few basic principles on which general agreement is reached, planners would be
wise to adopt a flexible approach and avoid stereotypes. The programme will require modification from time to time
depending upon the feedback, the need, the acceptance and the changing circumstances.

Adolescence

Adolescence is the French word derived, from adolescere, which means growing up. It is the age group of 10 to 19
years. Since every individual is different and develops in his/her unique way, it is difficult to fix a particular age group.
The bridge between the childhood and the adulthood is adolescence. The beginning of adolescence is known as
puberty. It is marked by menarche (first menstruation) in girls, which generally occurs between the age of 11 and 13
years; and by first nocturnal emission (wet dream) in boys, which generally occurs between the age of 12 and 14
years. The period of growing up is of about 4 years. Girls become mature at an early age than boys. There are
physical as well as psychological changes. The physical changes precede psychological changes.
In some, the puberty may be delayed upto 16 years and in some it may be as early as at 10 years. Physical Changes
(Secondary Sexual Characteristics) The physical changes in girls at puberty other than menarche are development of
breasts, pubic hair, hair in the armpits, pimples on the face, appearance of vaginal secretions, functioning of sex
glands, increase in height, broadening and rounding of hips and getting an attractive look.<> The physical changes in
boys other than wet dreams are development of hair on face, in armpit and on pubis, change of voice, development
of Adams apple in the neck, pimples on the face, painful swellings in the breasts, enlargement of penis and
functioning of sex glands. The height increases, the body looks muscular and the shoulders broaden. Pattern of
Sexual Maturation Age in Boys Girls Years 11 Pubic hair appears Budding of breasts 12 Pubic hair appears Growth
of sex organs. 13 Growth of testes, Hair in the armpits, penis and sex glands menarche (first men- struation). 14 Wet
dreams, hair in armpits, change of voice 15 Pimples 16 pimples End of bony growth. 17 End of bony growth.
Psychological Changes Adolescence is a period of psychological and emotional upheaval. Adolescents feel
concerned about how they look and might spend hours in front of the mirror, caring for outward appearance. There is
a need to be attractive and to dress like others of their age group. They like to spend more and more time with the
friends of their age and of their own sex. Their conversation on phone may go unending. As they grow they may want
to make friendship with the person of opposite sex. They like to fall in love. They become moody, at times elated and
at times depressed, and have a feeling that nobody cares for them. They want to have freedom. They may become
rebellious and be argumentative with their parents.
At times there is confusion of thoughts. They would like to be left alone. Sometimes, they become very sociable. They
feel that their parents are not treating them like adults and hence the parents do not take their opinion into

consideration. They take more interest in novels, films or music and dance. They like to fantacise. They become
irresponsible and stubborn. Parents get disgusted. They think only of today, lack in maturity and farsighted thinking.
Though both boys and girls are attracted towards each other, the boys are interested in having sex, while the girls
desire love and romance. The expectations of boys and girls differ during the phase of attraction. Boys try for sexual
satisfaction and girls long for tenderness and attention. However, each assumes that the other feels as he or she
does. Boys have much more sex drive than girls and they seek an outlet through masturbation (manual stimulation of
sex organ).
Among girls, masturbation is not so common. During the teen years girls find satisfaction in romantic dreams and
fantasies rather than in masturbation. Though parents get depressed and worried about the future of such
misbehaved, disobedient adolescents, in reality the situation is not hopeless. These behaviours are transient. As the
age advances, the same adolescents change into ideal citizens. The parents forget that they too had behaved the
same way during their adolescence.
There are several plus points in the adolescents. There is a lot of creativity amongst them. They are honest and
sincere. They love their society and country. They are always hopeful. They may strive hard for bringing about social
changes and may fight against injustice. They devote hemselves for a good cause. Their physical health remains at
its best. They have the ability to get adjusted to the changing circumstances. They are jovial and like humour. They
undertake activites that need daring. Many who sacrificed their life for freedom of our country, were young
adolescents. They are our hopes of tomorrow. Adolescents too have their own doubts, myths, misconceptions and
problems. Many of them require information, counselling, guidance and assurance. Boys and girls who attain maturity
much earlier or much later than others in their class are singled out. They may be subjected to ridicule and may suffer
deeply. They need to be assured that this is a natural variation. Some boys develop a feeling of guilt and shame
about masturbation and wet dreams, though they cannot control these activities. They need to be reassured.
Menarche (first menstruation) comes as a shock to the girls who are not informed about it. Many have a feeling of
becoming impure during the menstruation. Girls get worried about the size of their breasts, if they are too small or
too big. Though they feel that the breasts are one of the signs of beauty, nature has a purpose of production of milk
for the nutrition of the future child. Any size of breast can produce sufficient amount of milk during the lactating
period.
Whatever has been gifted by nature needs to be accepted with a sense of joy. Insecurity, fear, anger, frustration, peer
pressure and drive for freedom may be the causes for the youngsters to get addicted to smoking, drugs and alcohol.
This has become a global concern. We all collectively have to establish a good communication with them, supply
them with the information they need, care for them, guide them and give them moral and emotional support; because
they are our future.

Love

Love is an intense affection and deep feelings for some one. It intends the welfare of the other. Love has different
colours. Love for parents, love for a friend, love for elders, love for the country, etc. Each type of love has a different
shade and hence the requirements, the duties, the expectations and the behaviour differ accordingly. Love between a
boy and a girl or the love between a husband and a wife has entirely a different shade. It is very special and involves
deep relationship. One common thing for all types of love is that it involves responsibility, loyalty, sacrifice, empathy
and respect towards each other.
Love should be conducive to mutual growth. To love some one and to be loved by some one are the basic needs for
the development of a healthy personality. These needs are fulfilled initially by the parents, relatives, friends and later
by the husband/wife. A person who does not receive love, is not able to offer love to others. Love Versus Infatuation
The unfortunate part is that the infatuation is taken as love by the adolescents. Infatuation is a physical attraction,
excessive passion and too much admiration of a person. If the relationship is superficial, immature, selfish, one sided,
then it is not love but infatuation. If both understand each other, are interested in the other's welfare and feelings, are
selfless and mature, then it is love.
Maturity does not necessarily corelate with chronological age. Infatuation is a quick process and is through an
attraction towards a single physical aspect of the other person (e.g., handsomeness or beauty). It is devoid of
consideration of pros and cons of the relationship. The individual thinks constantly of the other and desires constant
company of the other. On the contrary, love is a slow process. It involves maturity of thinking, considers all possible
aspects of the other individual, thinks pros and cons of relationship and shows responsible and selfless behaviour.
Infatuation is temporary, though intense. It changes from time to time depending upon the situation. (A boy may
change his lover when he shifts his residence or when he changes the educational institution.) This does not happen
in love. That is why infatuation is called Puppy Love.
Love is a step-ladder like process. Introduction, attraction, friendship, companionship and love are the steps and
finally culminates in the marriage. Infatuation is at first sight, not love. Is it Wrong to be Infatuated? No. Infatuation is
quite a natural phase of development. During the adolescence, nature prepares boys and girls for reproduction, the
essence of life; and hence promotes them to manhood/womanhood. This promotion is not merely by physical growth
but also by strong attraction towards the opposite sex to effect reproduction. This is so in every living being, including

plants and animals having two sexes. It is alright to be infatuated during the adolescence. It is the first step towards
development of friendship into a mature relationship.
However, it is necessary to understand that it is NOT love. This will help the adolescents to realise its temporariness;
and take a decision not to involve deeply or to take a premature step of involving into a sexual or marital relationship.
How to know whether this is Love or Infatuation?

1.

If you love him/her but he/she does not love you, it is infatuation. Real love is a two sided involvement.

2.

If one person is giving and the other person is always receiving, it is infatuation. Real love is a give and
take rather than give or get policy.

3.

If you constantly think of another person, so much so that it interferes with your studies, it is infatuation.

4.

If you frequently find fault and have arguments, it is infatuation. Real love means a lot of understanding for
each other.

5.

If there is constant demand for something (including sex) by the other person, it is infatuation. Real love is
associatated with responsibilities. Sexual relations are to be entered into only after the marriage.

Pitfalls of Infatuation

1.

Adolescents feel great to fall in love. They receive constant messages through the mass media like cinema,
T.V. and novels. Here, a hero and a heroin meet somewhere; they instantly fall in love; then a villian appears
on the seene to challange their love; some how the villian is killed and the two get married and live happily
thereafter. In reality, it does not happen so. The love glorified through these media is in reality an infatuation
and such marriage tends to break soon. The reasons for this are many. It is after marriage that they both
come to know the true colours of the other person and realize that they have selected a wrong partner. They
find that there is nothing common in both of them. The expectations from the partner are great and they are
hardly fulfilled. Both of them are aware of their rights but not of the responsibilities. It is only after the
marriage that they realise the faults of the other.
The conflicts begin. Gradually the relationship becomes thinner and thinner and the faults become thicker
and thicker. A day comes when they realize that they are NOT MADE FOR EACH OTHER and the marriage
breaks. Breaking of a marriage is not a simple thing. The problem is not limited to the two individuals
concerned, but also is of the children and of the two families. Though both are free to re-marry, the

psychological trauma of the first marriage takes a long time to heal. All this is because of infatuation being
considered as love.

2.

Under strong emotional pressure, many adolescent boys and girls try to hide their relationship from their
parents, run away from home and get married in a religious place by garlanding each other. Some commit
suicide in a hotel after writing a note, We wish to show to the world that our love is eternal, etc. Nobody
takes notice of their act, except the police. All the above actions are immature and foolish. Those
adolescents who luckily overcome such emotional turmoil and escape agony, laugh at themselves in later
life and thank their stars for not getting carried away.

3.

When a boy and a girl get in contact in an isolated place, the nature does its job. Both become sexually
excited, they hug and kiss each other. The boy inserts his penis in the girls vagina and he ejaculates his
semen there. She becomes pregnant.
Many girls are unaware that such a single act also can cause pregnancy, the sole responsibility of which lies
with the girl. She is also unaware that the woman misses her menstrual period when pregnant. It is when the
abdomen becomes big that the family members suspect of her pregnancy. At times, it is too late for abortion.
It is the girl who has to go through all the ordeal of parents wrath, social criticism, physical and
psychological pain. Being known of a loose character, it is difficult for her to get married. Therefore, the
returns of a good control on the emotions and a good character are tremendous. The commonest cause of
unmarried mothers in the world, is ignorance about the process leading to pregnancy, i.e., sexual
intercourse. Motherhood after the marriage is holy and praiseworthy, while unmarried motherhood is a
stigma, since it is through an unacceptable, unsocial, immature and irresponsible act.

4.

A boy and a girl may be in love, may have a good time, fun including sex. A day comes when the girl asks
him to get married with her. He may refuse by giving some lame excuse. For him, the love means sex
without involvement; and for her the love means, intimacy, romance with involvement. She feels terribly
disturbed, distressed and cheated.

5.

A boy who is addicted to sex may pretend to love several girls at the same time, only to have sex with them.
An innocent girl may become victim of his lust. The sexual relations between them may transmit STD
(Sexually Transmitted Disease) or HIV/AIDS infection to her.

6.

A boy may pretend to be in love with a girl, take her to an isolated place, rape her and may kill her.

When in Love, How to Proceed?

There are certain golden rules which you should follow.

i.

Do not continue to meet without the knowledge of your parents. They are your well wishers. They
themselves might have gone successfully through such stages and might have had valuable experience

which you might not be aware of. They will gladly share with you their guidance and advice. If not agreeable,
you may discuss with them and try to convince them.

ii.

If he/she loves you but you do not love him/her, then do not be subjected to his/her appeal on account of pity
or because you would loose such a chance of having a partner.

iii.

Do not hurry. Time is the best factor for testing his/her sincerity and honesty. Be rational than emotional. The
head is on a higher level than the heart. Let not heart rule the head. Be vigilant like a CBI agent till the
integrity of the person is proved.

iv.

If he/she is also in love with some one other than you, leave him/her then and there, since his/her sincerity is
questionable. Do not try to convince him/her or to encourage him/her to break the bonds of love with the
other person, since your efforts may be futile. Breaking of love may be agonising and unbearable for you,
but rest assured that it is momentary and you will soon overcome the disappointment successfully. Time is
the best healer.

v.

Infatuation is short lived while love is long lasting. Therefore, WAIT is the code word for success. If
attraction progresses further into friendship and love, well and good; otherwise cut the relationship short.
Never repent for your action. Adolescents, though physically mature, are immature for taking important
decisions like selection of partner, till the age of 20-25 years.

vi.

Never say YES for sexual relations. This activity should be reserved for a special person and should be only
after the marriage.

vii.

May it be infatuation or love, it should not disturb your daily routine including your studies.

You should not succumb to the false modesty and be a prey for someones lust. Love and Sex Love and sex
(intercourse) ideally should be interlinked with one another. It is something like body and soul. Adolescents mix up
these two. They feel sex as love. In fact, sexual attraction is more intense than love in them. Sex should follow love
and not precede it. To establish the bonds of love, the two have to have companionship, empathy, friendship and
mutual understanding and also readiness to make sacrifice. This takes time. It is true that the love culminates into sex
and the sex strengthens the bonds of love. The right time for this is after the marriage. There could be sex without
love and love without sex.
The example of the first is of having sex with a commercial sex worker (prostitute) where the union is merely for
physical pleasure and for money without emotional involvement. In later years of one's life, the desire for sex wanes
away, while the bonds of love and friendship strengthen. This keeps the elderly couples happy. A young man too,
when away from his wife, will control his sexual desire and will never enter into a sexual contract with another woman
if he really loves his wife. Love is associated with sincerity and devotion to the spouse and in turn is associated with
loyalty.
Dos and Don'ts in Love

1.

If you are a teenager and you are in love, do not hurry to make promises of engagement or of the marriage,
since your decision may be premature or you may change the decision. Be steady till you complete your
graduation or till you have crossed twenty. This will give you enough time for maturity and also to assess the
compatibility between the two of you.

2.

Girls need not avoid friendship with boys because of a fear of getting deceived. Friendship between boys
and girls is a sign of healthy attitude and relationship. It enriches your personality. It makes you understand
the thinking, feelings and behaviour of the opposite sex. This will help you to understand your spouse in later
life. A friend should be treated as friend and not as a boy friend. Boys too should not cross the limits while
having friendship with girls.

3.

Girls may receive love letters from those they may not like. Never reply to these letters. Never respond to
their phone calls. Ignore them. If a boy dares to tell a girl, I love you and if she does not wish to enter into a
love relationship with him, she should say 'NO' plainly and clearly. If he continues to follow the girl inspite of
the refusal, she should inform her parents, the principal or the police.

4.

Dating and petting are ways of the west that have entered into the east. Petting means touching and
fondling of different parts of the body of the opposite sex. It arouses sexual excitement. This can result in
uprotected sexual intercourse, unplanned pregnancy or STD/HIV infection. Therefore, petting can be
dangerous. Casual kissing and hugging may not be that dangerous, but this should be permitted only if the
relationship is intimate, strong and steady. Kissing should be taken as an expression of exhibiting affection.
It does not cause pregnancy as many girls think.

5.

If a boy invites a girl to his home, she should neither refuse nor accept the invitation instantly, but should
say, I shall let you know later. She should ask the following relevant questions to herself and/or to the boy:
Do I know him well ? Am I old enough to accept such invitation? What is his intention to meet me at his
home? Has he invited others or me alone? Will my parents like me to visit him? Do I have time? Is it
late in the evening or during the day? Will his parents be at home when I visit? She should decide only
after securing positive answers. It is a healthy practice for boys and girls to come together to play, read,
discuss or for study. A group meeting will always be encouraged by the parents, while meeting with an
individual alone or meeting at odd hours may be discouraged by them. Girls do not like to be overprotected
by their mothers. True, but only the mother is aware that the victims of sexual abuse are invariably girls and
hence she is more cautious about her daughter rather than her son.
It may so happen that a boy may invite his girlfriend to his home with an excuse to show his collection of
stamps or with some other excuse, when his parents have gone out. There being no one at home, he may
close the doors to make sexual advances.
The girl may be caught unawares and may find hard to refuse him. She should be bold enough to bluff and
say, I am having my period, stop it. If he continues, she should warn him, If you do not stop, I shall shout
at the top of my voice and straightaway inform the police. Still better way would be to anticipate the problem
and turn round from the door step when you final nobody is at his home. Girls are lured by some boys for
sexual relationship, taking due care to use contraceptives to avoid pregnancy. However, girls are not mature
enough to know the long term consequences of sex and hence girls should firmly refuse such requests.
Once he has a taste of sex, there are chances of repetition of such acts. He may even blackmail her and
involve her in a sex scandal. As this is endless, it is better not to begin it at all.

6.

It is not uncommon amongst boys to pretend to be in love with a girl, promise her to get married, seduce her,
have sex with her and then get away and ditch her. The girls should be aware of some of these excuses for
demanding sexual relationship. Any way, we are going to get married, what if we have sex after marriage or
before marriage? I love you and you too love me; so why dont you say YES? Prove that you love me by
saying YES for sex. If we have sex, we will come closer. I shall do it only once, please! If you will not
permit me to have sex, I shall commit suicide. Do not worry, I shall take care of you. I shall do it
superficially. There is no danger in doing so. The reply to any such appeal should be firmly NO. If he is an
understanding person, convince him that love is caring. Love is sacrifice. I say NO because I love you. No
body will go crazy or die if sex is denied.

7.

There are other extremes too. Some boys and girls may be liking each other, might have been faithful and
committed to each other, but may feel shy to express their feelings or may not be bold enough, to say, I love
you because of a fear of refusal. The boy/girl should not be shy to enter into conversation, make friendship
and say I love you as and when the friendship is mature. A rose-day also is a suitable occasion. If he/she
refuses, heaven is not going to fall; accept it and continue the friendship without any bitterness. It is better to
be refused than to be a coward and not to express the feelings of love.

Let us conclude this chapter with Pauls great essay on LOVE. Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love
is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude, never selfish, not quick to offence. Love keeps no score of wrongs, does
not gloat over others sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its
hope and endurance. Love will never come to an end There are three things that last forever: Faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is LOVE. This is what real love means.

Sex Organs

Sex organs are the organs that are involved in the process of reproduction. It is nature's way to produce progeny of
its own kind, so as to maintain the propagation of life. The sex organs are also called as genitals.
Male Sex Organs:
Testes, vas deferens seminal vesicles, prostate, cowpers glands and penis are the male sex organs. Penis and
testes are visible, while the vas deferens seminal vesicles, prostate and cowper's gland lie inside the lower
abdomen.
Penis:
Penis is a tubular organ drooping on the scrotum. When stimulated it gets filled up with blood and becomes rigid,
flaccid elongated and straight. The urinary passage called urethra passes through the penis. Semen is also thrown
out through the same passage. There is no muscle or bone in the penis. The length of the flaccid penis (rigid as well
as flaccid) varies from person to person, just as the height of different persons vary. The average length of a rigid
penis is about 5 inches. Even a 2.5 inches long and rigid penis is considered to be normal, since it can effectively
perform all the necessary functions (i.e., urination, ejaculation of semen and intercourse).
The penis is made up of three long spongy tubes. The upper two tubes are called corpora cavernosa and lower one
is called corpus spongiosum through which the urethra passes out. All the three tubes are enveloped in a sheath
called Tunica Albuginea which limits the girth and length of the penis. In an unstimulated state the penis is filled with
little blood and remains flacid like a deflated balloon.
During the stimulation, the blood vessels open up and the blood rushes to the tubes and gets locked up. The penis,
like an inflated balloon, becomes long and erect. After the ejaculation of semen (or when the stimulation stops) the
locked up blood rushes back to the body and the penis becomes flaeid once again. The bulbous portion at the tip of
the penis is called Glans Penis. The rest of the penis is called Shaft of the Penis.
The groove between the glans and the shaft is called Neck of the Penis. The glans and a thin fold of skin
underneath, called Frenulum are most sensitive to sexual stimuli.

The entire penis is covered with skin. The part of the skin covering the glans, called foreskin or prepuce, can be
moved to and fro like a sleeve. The foreskin can be retracted over the glans except at the frenulum where it remains
attached to the glans, nearly upto the urethral opening.
After puberty (coming of age or beginning of the adolescence) a thick white pasty secretion is produced by the skin
over the glans penis. This secretion is called Smegma. It has an offensive odour and therefore should be cleaned
every day by retracting back the foreskin, while taking bath. The urine from the urinary bladder and the semen from
reproductive glands come out through the same passage in the penis called urethra. However, they do not mix with
each other, since there is a bivalve mechanism.
When the semen has to come out, the urinary bladder outlet gets closed and vice versa. The semen contains
spermatozoa (sperms), the male reproductive cells. Boys get unnecessarily anxious about the girth, length, angle,
rigidity or shape of the penis. This is because of the myth that the pleasure of sex for men and women depends on
the size and shape of the penis. The function of the penis is merely like a dropper to drop the semen upto the mouth
of the uterus to facilitate fertilization.
The nature has combined procreation with recreation, so as to make propagation of life effective. It is only the
glans in the males that is sensitive to sexual stimuli; and only outer one inch of vagina in females that can perceive
sensation. Therefore, neither for males nor for females, the sexual pleasure will depend upon the size and shape of
the penis.
The girls love the person and not his sex organ. Penis is not their pleasure instrument; the person is. In fact, some
girls have a fear in their mind that the insertion of penis in the vagina may be painful. They fail to realise the fact that
the vagina is so stretchable that any size of the penis can be accommodated without any pain. Boys fail to realise that
the vagina is not so sensitive to sexual stimuli, but the clitoris is.
The size of the penis and the duration of the intercourse have no place in sexual satisfaction of a woman. Sexual
intercourse for her is more of caring and sharing of the love rather than mere penetration of the penis in the vagina.
Testes:
The bag of skin under the penis is called Scrotum, which contains two testes (testicles). Each is of the size of a
marble. Each testis constantly produces innumerable spermatozoa or sperms, (the male gamates) in a number of
seminiferous tubules. It also produces the male hormone called Testosterone. This hormone is poured into the
blood and it circulates throughout the body. It is the testostorone that brings about physical and psychological
changes at puberty in males and is also responsible for the production and maturity of the sperms.
In some boys, one testis is little lower down than the other. This is quite normal. Some boys have only one testis in
their scrotum, the other being in the abdomen. One testis produces enough number of sperms and the man can very
well father a child. However, the undescended testis may shrink and later may develop cancer.
It is wise to bring down the testis into scrotum by surgery before the age of six years. The nature has judiciously
brought the testes of the man outside his body so as to make its temperature two degrees F. less than the rest of the
body. This is to facilitate fast production of the sperms. There are muscles in the scrotal wall which contract or relax
depending upon the temperature of the surroundings and hence regulate the temperature of the testes.
We human beings undo this natural regulation of temperature of testes by using a langot (or a tight underwear).
Langot is used with an idea to prevent hernia or hydrocoele. The fact remains that langot cannot prevent hernia or
hydrocoele, but it does harm by raising the temperature of the testes and interfering with the production of the
sperms. Therefore, it is wise not to use a langot or a tight underwear. Testis is not a vital organ. A man can survive
even after the testes are removed. If removed before puberty, the boy will not develop the changes that take place at
puberty and during the adolescence. If removed in the adulthood, he will not produce sperms.
In some individuals the scrotum feels as if it is a bag of worms. There are dilated veins in the scrotum. Due to the
warmth of the blood in these veins, the sperm production may deteriorate and may lead to infertility. In that case an
operation to ligate the veins may be necessary. The sperms from the testis pass through a hollow tube called Vas
deferens up into the lower abdomen and are stored in a dilated end portion of the Vas deferens called as ampula till
they are mixed up with the other secretions to form semen.

Seminal Vesicles and Prostate:

Near the ampula on each side is a hollow pouch which produces a colourless secretion for nutrition of the sperms.
This pouch is called Seminal Vesicle. The contents of the ampula and of the seminal vesicle are thrown into the
urethra through a common tube called Ejaculatory Duct. Prostate is gland of the size of a betal nut situated around
the urethra and below the urinary bladder. It produces a milky secretion for the motility of the sperms and pours it in
the urethra.
The sperms, along with the secretions of the seminal vesicles and the prostate, get mixed up in the urethra to form
the semen at the time of the sexual climax. Cowper's Glands (Bulbo-Urethral Glands) These are two pea-sized
glands each situated on either side of the urethra. The colourless secretion produced by it on sexual stimulation is
poured into the urethra through a small duct. This secretion serves as a lubricant and also neutralizes the acidity of
the urinary passage.
Female Sex Organs
Vulva, vagina, Bartholins glands, uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries are the female sex organs. All the sex organs of
the female, except vulva are inside her body.
Vulva:
Vulva is a collective term for the external sex organs that can only be seen on separation of the thighs of a female.
Just above the vertical cleft in the midline is Mons Pubis, a pad of fat over the pubic bone, under the hairy skin. The
vertical cleft in the midline is guarded on either side by Labia Majora (major lips) which stretch from Mons Pubis to
the lower end of the cleft, in front of the anus.
They are pads of fat covered with skin and hair. When major lips are separated, two vertical thin folds of skin without
hair are seen. These are sensitive and are called Labia Minora (minor lips). The minor lips unite upward to form a
hood where small budlike projection is seen. This is called Clitoris, which is the counterpart of the penis and is
equally sensitive to sexual stimuli. Clitoris swells up slightly during the sexual stimulation. The clitoris is partly covered
by the hood of the labia minora, which produces smegma as in males, and therefore needs cleaning daily. At the
lower end of the vertical cleft is the vaginal opening, guarded on either side and below by labia minora. This opening
is covered by a thin membrane with one or more openings in it for the menstrual flow, and is called Hymen.
Between the clitoris above and vaginal opening below, there is a small opening, small enough to allow the tip of a ball
pen. This is the opening of the Urethra through which urine is thrown out.
Bartholin's Glands (Greater Vestibular Glands):
There are two small openings of the Bartholins (greater vestibular) glands, one on either side of the vaginal entrance.
These glands are situated under the major lips and produce a sticky and colourless secretion on sexual stimulation,
that acts as a lubricant.
Vagina:
Vagina is a three inches long hollow muscular tube in the female. The outer vaginal opening is situated at the lower
end of the midline vertical cleft of the vulva, about two inches in front of the anus. The opening is covered by a thin
membrane called Hymen having one or more apertures for the menstrual flow. At the inner end of vagina, the cervix
of the uterus enters into it.
The direction of the vaginal barrel is upwards and backwards, i.e., towards the spine. The entire vaginal barrel is lined
by a velvety, soft and multifolded layer of mucus membrane which remains wet like our mouth. On receiving the
sexual stimuli, the vagina produces profuse watery secretion (like saliva in the mouth) which acts as a lubricant
during the intercourse. This secretion decreases after the menopause, i.e., around the age of 45 years when the
menstrual periods stop. When the sexual stimuli continue, the inner two-third of the vagina dilates and the outer onethird narrows, turning the vagina into a pitcher like structure. This is natures way to hold the pool of semen. If the
woman gets orgasm, the outer one-third of the vagina contracts rhythmically. It is only outer third of vagina that is
sensitive to touch. The inner two-third is insensitive.
Sensuous stimuli are appreciated by the clitoris and not by the vagina. Vagina serves as a passage for the following
three functions:

1.

At the intercourse, for the passage of semen inside.

2.

At the menstruation, for the passage of menstrual flow outside.

3.

At the delivery, for the passage of the baby outside.

The vagina is highly stretchable. It can accommodate a penis of any length and any girth. Not only the penis but also
the head of the child which has a circumference of 35 cms. Normally, the two walls of vagina remain collapsed over
one another, like a deflated balloon. Boys have a misconception that the vagina is a pleasure-organ for the girls. It is
not.
Girls at puberty or later complain of white discharge from the vagina. Normal vagina is always moist. The vaginal
discharge normally increases just prior to the menstruation, during the ovulation (i.e., 14th day after the
commencement of the period) and on receiving sensuous stimuli, e.g., petting, seeing a romantic scene or reading a
romantic novel. This is absolutely normal. However, the vaginal discharge also increases during the infection by
Monilia or by Trichomonas. The monilial infection causes severe itching and milky white discharge. Trichomonal
infection also causes itching, pain and greenish yellow foul-smelling discharge. In such a case the girl should contact
the doctor and get treated.
A slight white or brown spotting on the underwear should not cause anxiety; but profuse, foul-smelling, yellowish
green coloured discharge associated with pain or itching needs medical attention. Vaginal infection comes through
the intestines or through the intercourse. If the male partner has a STD (sexually transmitted disease), or HIV/AIDS
the female partner gets it and vice versa. To avoid the infection from the intestines, the girls have to take little care
while washing and taking bath. They should wash the front side first, i.e., Mons, labia, clitoris, urinary and vaginal
openings and then wash the rear, i.e., anus and buttocks. This will prevent the intestinal infection from entering into
the urinary or the vaginal passage.
Uterus:
Uterus is a three inch long and a hollow muscular organ, looking like an inverted pear, over the inner end of the
vagina. The lower narrow end protrudes in vagina and is called Cervix (neck). The opening of the uterus is called
Os (mouth) of the cervix. The inner lining of the uterus is called Endometrium. This lining grows, disintegrates and
is thrown out through the vagina in the form of menstrual flow. This happens every month during the fertility age (13
to 45 years) except when the woman is pregnant. The embryo grows here in the uterus for 263 days before entering
into this world.
Fallopian (Uterine) Tubes:
The Fallopian tubes are the two long hollow tubes, one on either side of the broad upper side of the uterus. Each is
the four inches in length. Its one end is attached to the uterus and the other end is free over the ovary of the same
side. Free end of the Fallopian tube has finger like projections called Fimbria to attract the ovum. Fallopian tube has
three important functions: reception, fertilization and transportation of ovum. It receives the ovum from the ovary, the
ovum meets the sperm and gets fertilised here (a real birth place) and the fertilized ovum gets pushed forward into
the uterus.
Ovaries:
The ovaries are two oval sex-glands situated one on either side of the uterus. The ovary is of the size of an almond
and contain 5 to 10 lacs of Graffian Follicles. During the fertile life span of a woman, only 400 to 500 follicles mature
and the rest of them degenerate. Every month one Graffian follicle matures and expels out one ovum (the female
gamate). This process is called ovulation.

The ovaries produce two hormones in the Graffian follicles, called estrogen and progesterone. These hormones are
responsible for the puberty changes in the girls, their menstrual cycle, pregnancy and delivery.
Pubic Hair
Hair begins to grow around the sex organs at the age of about 11 years. This is one of the first signs of puberty. Girls
develop hair earlier than boys. Some have scanty while some have plenty of pubic hair. The distribution of hair differs
in the males and in the females. The males develop hair on the scrotal sac, around the root of the penis and upwards
upto the umbilicus (navel) in the midline.
The females develop hair on the libia majora and on the mons pubis only. The pubic hair should be washed well and
kept clean. In a humid and warm country like ours, excessive perspiration may lead to itching due to fungus infection.
Trimming the hair periodically is desired. Some are of the opinion that the hair stimulates the female sex-organs
during the intercourse and hence should be preserved. The choice is theirs.

Breasts

Breast is not a sex organ but has a role in nutrition of the young ones and in the sexual stimulation. The female
breast consists of fat, blood vessels and nerves surrounding the milk glands. These glands are situated in bunches
like the bunches of grapes.
The milk produced therein passes through the small ducts which are connected to each other to form 15 to 20
Lactiferous Tubes. These ultimately open on the nipple of the breast. Before opening, each lactiferous tube gets
dilated to form a sinus which acts as a reservoir of milk. These sinuses are situated behind the areola, a pink
coloured circular patch of skin around the nipple.
The colour of the areola becomes dark after the pregnancy. The size of the breast varies from female to female.
Big breasts as well as small breasts are normal. There is no treatment for changing the size of the breast. Physical
Exercises or hormones do not work. In fact it is not necessary to take any treatment. (The only remedy is to use a
padded brassiere.) Though girls attribute their beauty to the size of breasts, the nature has a definite purpose in
giving breasts to the female, and that is the nutrition of the newborn child. There is no relation between the size of the
breasts and the production of the milk in them. Even the smallest breast can produce enough amount of milk for the
child. Secondly, the size and shape of the breasts change according to the age.
Puberty, adolesence, pregnancy, lactation and menopause are the stages when the size and shape of the breast
change. The size of the breast depends mainly upon the genetic factor and partly upon the state of the health and the
diet of the person.
It is quite normal to have unequal breasts. Some girls get pain in the breasts just prior to menstruation. The breasts
slightly swell up during the sexual stimulation. These events are normal.
The nipple and the areola are sensitive to sensuous stimuli. A woman may feel sensuous during the breast feeding of
her child. This is quite normal and she need not feel embarrassed.

Menstruation

A cyclical bleeding through the vagina in a woman is called menstruation. This occurs between of the age 13 and 45
years. The beginning of the first menstruation is called menarche and the stopping of it is called menopause.
Menarche could be little earlier or little later than 13 years. If it occurs between the age of 10 to 16 years, it is taken
as normal.
The age of menopause also varies. It could be somewhere between the ages of 40 and 50 years, though the average
age of menopause is 45 years when the menstruation stops permanantly. During the period from menarche to
menopause, a woman can become pregnant and produce children and hence this period is called as reproductive
period. Menstrustion is called cyclical because it recurs every month. To be exact, it occurs after every 28 days.
However, there is a range of variation.
The normal range is between 21 and 35 days. During the reproductive period, the menstruation may be at a regular
interval, but at menarche and menopause, the menstruation is irregular. This should not cause anxiety. It may take 2
to 3 years for the cycles to become regular after menarche. Menstruation is also known as period, M.C., Chum,
Menses etc. The duration of bleeding during the menstruation is for two to seven days, the average being for four
days. The flow is about 60 ml. in volume containing blood and mucus. It may vary from woman to woman and from
time to time. During menarche and menopause, it could be profuse or scanty. This too should not cause worry.
Menstrual frequency and flow also depend upon psychological state, general health, nutrition, social status and
genetics. Tension, disease or poor diet may delay the menstruation. During the reproductive period, every month the
nature prepares a woman for motherhood.
Every month one single Graffian follicle (the shell that contains the ovum or egg) in the ovary becomes mature. It
breaks and releases an ovum and also produces hormone called Estrogen. The empty shell of the follicle produces
the hormone Progesterone. The release of the egg is called ovulation. The ovum is attracted in the Fallopian tube
by the finger like processes called Fimbria. Ovulation takes place on the 14th day, counted from the first day of the
last menstruation.
The hormones estrogen and progesterone are thrown into the blood circulation, reach the uterus and prepares a bed
on its inner lining, called Endometrium for the reception and growth of the fertilized ovum. By then, if sperms enter

through the vagina, they surround the ovum in the Fallopian tube. Only one sperm enters and fuses with the ovum
and pregnancy occurs. This is called Fertilization. The fertilized ovum divides repeatedly and simultaneously travels
towards the uterus, gets embeded in the bed already prepared inside the uterus and grows there. In that case the
woman stops menstruating till the child is delivered.
In case the ovum is not fertilized, the preparation made in the uterus for its reception goes in vain. The blood levels of
both the hormones fall down and the bed or the inner lining of the uterus, formed of blood and mucous glands tries to
disintegrate. This happens because it has no function to do. This disintegrated layer of endometrium is thrown out
through the vagina on 14th day after the ovulation. Though it is called vaginal bleeding, its source is uterus.
This cycle repeats every month. A new lining will be deveoped during the next menstrual cycle to receive the ovum
from the next ovulation. Many girls are unaware of the menstruation and get shocked when they see the bleeding
unexpectedly. Therefore, they should be given sufficient information prior to the first menstruation (menarche) and
should be taught about how to use a sanitary pad. Menarche should be expected when the girls start developing
breasts, hair in the armpits and on pubis, and get vaginal discharge.
Menstruation is the preparation of a woman by the nature for motherhood. How is it that the girls do not menstruate
since birth? The nature does not want the babies to have babies. Therefore, the nature has designated a limited
reproductive period that begins at a particular age when the girl approaches near her physical maturity. The function
of the menstruation is in reality regulated by the brain, mediated through the hormones. The part at the base of the
brain called hypothalamus sends messages to a pea sized gland called pituitary to release hormones (Follicle
Stimulating Hormone and Luteinising Hormone) that affect the ovary to mature the Graffian follicle and undertake the
process as mentioned earlier. Since this activity in the hypothalamus does not begin till the age of puberty, the girls
do not have menstruation.
Why the boys do not menstruate?
They do not have a uterus. They have been given a different role to play, i.e., production and release of the male
gamates, the sperms. If the menstruation begins prior to the age of 10 years or does not begin till the age of 16 years,
the girl should consult the doctor. Hormonal imbalance, genetic defect, ill health, anaemia, poor nutrition or
anatomical abnormality of the sex organs (small uterus, imperforate hymen) could be the cause for the delay. Some
girls complain of white discharge before the commencement of the menstruation. This is normal as long as the
discharge is not offensive. Menstruation is associated with pain in its initial years. This is normal.
Pain may be in the lower abdomen or in the back. It is supposed to be due to the cramps of the uterus or due to
passing of blood clots through a tight cervix. If the pain is mild, the girl should involve her mind in her normal activities
so as to deviate her mind. If the pain is severe, she should take rest in the bed and use a hot water bottle for
fomentation. She may need for the relief of pain a tablet like Paracetamol, Mefenamic Acid, Codein; or a spasmrelieving drug like Dicyclomine. She should take the drug only as per the advice of her doctor since every drug is a
double edged weapon. Some girls get nausea, feel tired or irritated just four days prior to menstruation. Some may
complain of painful breasts. These complaints disappear after the onset of menstruation. No treatment is required
since this is normal. Menstruation is supposed to be a curse and menstrual flow is supposed to be bad or
poisonous blood. There is a myth that the shadow of a menstruating woman may dry the flowers and vitiate the
food. A menstruating woman is considered to be impure and is supposed to stay away from religious places and
religious functions. All this is far from the truth and is absolutely unscientific.
In reality, Menstruation is a boon granted by the nature only to women, for the purpose of motherhood. A woman who
does not mestruate, can never become a mother. If the fertilized ovum is lodged in the endometrium, it would not
have disintegrated into menstrual fluid; instead, it would have nourished the fertilized ovum. It is not bad blood.
Every human being on the earth has grown initially on the same fluid when in mothers womb. The fluid is as
important for the human being as the soil for the seed.
There is no harm in taking bath, washing hair, or taking part in sports during menstruation. Women visit their doctor to
get prescription to postpone their menstruation to enable them to attend a religious function. The doctor may
prescribe progesterone (e.g., Primolut-N) which when taken twice a day, four days prior to menstruation, withholds
the inner lining of the uterus (endometrium) from disintegration. Thus the menstruation can be postponed as long as
the tablets are continued. This is for self satisfaction.
Whether the lining lies inside the body or is thrown out, should have no relation with the religious function. It is
necessary that a rational and scientific attitude is developed towards the menstruation and a feeling of self impurity is

discarded. Is it alright to have sex during the menstruation? Yes and No! If man and woman both like to have sex
during menstruation, there is no harm in doing so. If any one of them feels uncomfortable and deslikes it, then it is
better to avoid it.
Does orgasm in a woman release an ovum?
No. Ovulation is a cyclical process and depends upon hormonal levels, while the release of sperms by ejaculation
depends upon sexual stimulation and not on hormonal levels.
Care during Menstruation:
The sanitary pads (napkins) are used inside the underwear to absorb the menstrual blood and to prevent soiling of
clothes. These pads are elongated folds of cotton wool covered with absorbant material. They can be self adhesive to
be stuck to panties or can be worn with a belt which comes with the pads.
There are three varieties: regular, large and extra large. The regular variety is used just before menstruation as a
safety measure and when the flow is slight. The pad is to be changed every time it is full. The vulva should be
cleaned with soap and water before using a fresh pad. Those who cannot afford to buy sanitary pads, should use
clean soft cotton cloth folded into pads. These can be cleaned with hot water and soap, dried well, folded and
reused.
The used sanitary pads should be wrapped in a paper and thrown into the dust bin. They should not be flushed into
the toilet bowl, since they can block the drain. They should not be thrown on the garbage heap or in the building
chowk. A tampon is also used, instead of sanitary pad to absorb the menstrual flow.
Tampon is a cyclindrical pad made of absorbant material having a thread at one end. The tempon is inserted in the
vagina with its thread left outside the vulva. Tampons should be used when the flow is not heavy. It is better to use
cotton panties during the period, and should be changed as often as necessary to keep them fresh and clean. It is
better to keep a pad handy in the bag in anticipation of first day of the menstruation. Menopause It is the stopping of
menstruation and is the end of reproductive period. It occurs usually around the age of 45 years.
The menstruation becomes irregular and the flow increases towards the approach of the menopause. This is due to
aging of the ovaris which do not respond to the hormones released by the brain. Apart from pregnancy and
menopause, there could be other causes for not getting menstruation. Examination tension, anaemia, tuberculosis,
thyroid diseases, ill health or removal of the uterus (hysterectomy) could lead to stopping of menstruation.

Man and Woman

Males would be better prepared to understand females, and females to males, if they realized that they are alike in
their basic anatomy and physiology. Alfred Kinsey The deveopment of the sex organs in the human embryo begins
from the 5th week of pregnancy. The basic sex organs both in the male and in the female look the same. There is no
differentiation till three months of pregnancy.
The basic organs are:

1.

Genital tubercle

2.

Genital folds

3.

Genital swellings.

Later the development begins as follows:

The genital tubercle develops into penis in the male and into clitoris in the female. The genital folds unite to form the
underportion of the penis in the males; while they partly unite and partly remain separate to form labia minora in the
females. The genital swellings become hollow to form scrotum and lodge the testes in the males. The genital
swellings become elongated and flat to form the labia majora in the females. The counterparts of testes in males are
ovaries in females which lie in the abdomen. The urethra gets enveloped by penis in the males, while it remains
separate below the clitoris in the females.
The place of Cowpers glands in the males is taken by Bartholin's glands in the females. The prostate gland in the
male is homologous to urethral glands along the urethra in the females. A small pouch in the prostate called prostatic
utricle in the male represents vagina of the female. Similar development takes place also inside the embryo.

In the abdomen of the embryo are two pairs of tubes: 1. Mesonephric ducts. 2. Paramesonephric ducts. In the males,
mesonephric ducts remain separate and develop into vas deferens, seminal vesicles and prostate; the
paramesonephric ducts remain dormant. In the females, the paramesonephric ducts develop. They partly remain
separate to form Fallopian tubes and partly unite to form uterus and vagina. Mesonephric ducts remain dormant.
Conclusions:

1.

In the male and the female, the basic structures of sex organs are same. The ultimate structures change for
the purpose of reproductive function.

2.

Every male has 2% parts of the female and every female has 2% parts of the male.

3.

The sensation of glans penis is similar to that of clitoris; that of ventral surface of penis is similar to that of
labia minora; and that of scrotum is similar to that of labia majora.

4.

The sensation of vagina in the female cannot be perceived by the male since he has no similar organ.
However, if the male were to have a vaginal opening it would be in the midline on the scrotum.

5.

In male, four functions are attributed to a singal organpenis: urination, ejaculation, receiving sexual stimuli
and intercourse. In female, the ejaculation is absent. The remaining three functions are done by three
separate organs: urethra for urination, clitoris for receiving sexual stimuli and vagina for intercourse.

6.

In male, the organ of procreation and of recreation is one and the same, i.e., penis. In female they are
different. Organ for procreation is vagina and organ of recreation is clitoris.

7.

In male, the testes are outside the body so that their temperature would remain less than that of the body.
Only at this temperature the testes can produce numerous sperms. In females, the ovaries are inside the
body since only one ovum is to be produced per month.

8.

The male is dependant on the female for sexual pleasure, while the female is self dependant for sexual
pleasure. (She can get quicker orgasm by self stimulation of clitoris than through intercourse.)

9.

The ultimate goal for the male is sex, while the ultimate goal for the female is love motherhood; sex being
the means of achieving this goal.

10. In reproduction, the male has limited responsibility of producing sperms and depositing them at the mouth of
the uterus. The female has much more responsibility, i.e., receiving the sperms, producing the ovum,
fertilizing it with a sperm, growing and delivering the baby and then nourishing it on breast milk.

11. Therefore, the hormone in male, testosterone, is for sexual stimulation and for production of sperms. The
hormones in female, estrogen, progesterone and prolactin, are for menarche, ovulation, menstruation,
pregnancy, delivery and lactation.

12. In reproduction, a minor responsibility is given to the male and a major responsibility to the female. The
nature has designed their body and mind accordingly.

13. The male and the female are not opposite sexes but complementary sexes. They are both equal but not
similar. (like two sides of a coin.)

14. Mother nature is not gender biased. The male and the female sexuality differ because they have different
biological functions and are conditioned differently.

Males and females have to understand each other, so that they will be prepared to make adjustments when required.

Problems of Adolescents

Problems of Girls

1.

Unmarried Motherhood: It is not uncommon for a boy to lure a girl, make her feel that he loves her, have
sex with her, and abandon her when he knows that she is pregnant. It is a very difficult situation for the girl of
that age. She feels cheated, dejected, rejected and depressed. There is a sense of guilt, shame and
violation. This is horrifying for her and becomes a nightmare. One thing she should not think of is to kill
herself. She need not torture or punish herself for the fault which is not solely hers. She should think of the
life ahead which is full of opportunities. Losing once is not the end of the world. She should tell her mother
first. She can legally terminate the pregnancy and start a new life. Even if the experience is bitter, she should
not have a callous attitude towards all the boys.
In every sphere there are good things and bad things. Fortunately good things prevail. She should think that
she was unfortunate enough to come across a bad thing. She should take this as an experience for the
guidance of future new relationship. Failures should be pillers of success. Medical Termination of Pregnancy
(MTP) upto 10 weeks of conception is quite safe. If the pregnancy is of over 20 weeks, MTP is not legal and
should not be attempted, since it carries a risk also. In such a case, a full term delivery should be conducted
and the child should be given for adoption. Marrying a boy because he made her pregnant is not a wise
decision, since such marriages do not last. There are about three crores of unmarried mothers in the world,
the commonest cause being the ignorance about the act that can lead to pregnancy, the consequences of
which a girl has to suffer solely.

2.

Teenage Mother: In some cultures a girl gets married at the age of 16 years or even earlier. Teenage
pregnancy should be discouraged. A girl is able to give birth to a child as early as at 13 to 14 years. The

risks she and her child run (eg. of illness, injury and death) are far greater than those in a mature woman in
her twenties. Anaemia in mother, retarded growth of the child, premature birth, complications during delivery
are higher in a teenage mother. Risk of her own death during pregnancy and labour, and that of her child
during the first year of life are higher than in women over 20 years of age. Getting pregnant during the
adolescence, when her own growth is not complete, is highly risky. The growth of a girl is complete by 18
years.

3.

Size of the Breasts: Many girls attribute beauty to the size of their breasts. If the breasts are small in size,
they get worried. If the breasts are large, then too they get worried. Nature has provided females with
breasts for the purpose of feeding milk to newborn babies. The size of the breast depends upon the content
of the fat in it and has nothing to do with the production of milk. Small breasts can produce enough amount
of milk when needed. There is no treatment for small or large breasts. The size and shape of the breasts is
governed by the hereditary factors. The best thing to do is to accept them as they are and not to develop an
inferiority complex. Girls having small breasts may use a padded brassiere for aesthetic purpose.

4.

Menstruation Problems: Girls complain of irregular menstrual periods. During adolescence the hormonal
levels fluctuate and this is manifested by early/delayed or scanty/profuse periods. A large number of women
never have their menstrual period regularly after every 28 days as expected. Variation is a rule. A cycle of 21
to 35 days and bleeding for 2 to 6 days should be considered as normal.
Some girls get their first period (menarche) as early as at 11 years of age; while some get it as late as at 16
years. Age of menarche varies depending upon general health of the girl, her heredity, living conditions,
climate, etc. The average age is 13 years. If a girl does not get the menstrual period even upto the age of 16
years, she should see a doctor. The reason could be absence of or defect in the uterus, vagina or ovary, a
hymen without a perforation, deficiency of sex hormones or a genetic defect. Poor diet, malnutrition and TB
can also delay the onset of menstruation. A few days before the period starts, some girls may experience
symptoms like tired feeling, irritability, tension, excitability, nausea, pain in lower abdomen or in lower back
or tenderness in the breasts. These symptoms disappear after the menstruation starts or thereafter.
Some girls experience emotional changes before and during menstruation. Most girls feel only little
discomfort. These symptoms are due to the changes in the hormonal levels. Pain is due to the contractions
of the muscles of the uterus and difficulty in opening of the mouth of the uterus to allow the blood flow out.
All these changes are natural. The girls should continue to do their usual activities, like playing, cooking,
bathing, socialising, as menstruation is physiological function of the body and not a disease. Drinking plenty
of fluids, taking nutritious diet (milk, egg, fish, vegetables, fruits, pulses), and outdoor activities would help.
Lying on back with bent knees, placing a hot water bottle on lower abdomen or on back will help in relieving
the pain. Rarely she may have to consult a doctor who would prescribe a tablet of Mefenamic acid,
Dicyclomine, Paracetamol, Pentazocin, Acetaminophen, or hormones in rare cases.

5.

Vaginal Discharge: A clear or whitish discharge from the vagina a few days prior to or after the
menstruation or midway between the period is normal and is a sign of growing up. If the discharge is
continuous, excessive, frothy, milky, yellowish, associated with itching, burning or foul smell, she should
consult a doctor, Invaribaly this condition is due to lack of hygiene followed by Trichomonal or Monilial
infection.

6.

Underweight / Overweight :Adolescent girls like to be attracted by the opposite sex. Some look very thin
and some very fat; that makes them feel unattractive. If they want to increase their weight, they should
consume food items containing more calories and should take three to four meals instead of usual two. Their
daily diet should contain more of butter, ghee, cheese, curds, egg, mutton, whole milk, sugar, jaggery,
banana and ground- nuts. If they are overweight, it is invariably due to overeating and lack of physical
exercise. They need food items having low caloric contents and not less quantity of food. They should take

fruits like sweet limes, oranges, green vegetables, salads, soups, skimmed milk without sugar, fish, eggwhite, and cream cracker biscuits. They should take less of rice and less number of chapatis (or bread
slices), avoid fried food and the food items advised above for the underweights.
Daily swimming, cycling, running and fasting once a week will help to reduce the weight.

Problems of Boys

1.

Penis Anxiety and Masturbation Guilt: For adolescent boys the penis becomes a centre of attraction.
Penises are in all sizes. It is not true that a boy with a large penis is sexually more potent and powerful than
the boy with a small one. The size of the penis does not matter in giving or receiving sexual pleasure or in
sexual performance. The vagina is a three inch long collapsible tube and is sensitive only in its outer one
inch. A penis of the size of little finger is sufficient to perform all its functions. Some boys get worried about
the girth, angle or curvature of the penis. Vagina being soft and malleable can accomodate any size, any
shape and any angle of the penis. Many boys attribute the tilt and curvature of penis to excessive
masturbation. This is not true. Masturbation does no harm and there is nothing like excessive in
masturbation. Any organ in our body functions better by using it and never deteriorates when used. There is
a saying, Use it or loose it. Therefore boys need not worry about the size, shape and curvature of penis or
about masturbation.

2.

Wet Dreams: A sexually exciting dream that is associated with ejaculation of semen in boys is called wet
dream or nocturnal emission. This is a sign of puberty and is normal. He may or may not be able to recall
the dream, but may get up from sleep by the feeling of wetness of the semen. In fact, all boys get erection of
penis after about every 90 minutes in the sleep. When they get an erotic dream, they ejaculate. Wet dreams
do not cause weakness and are absolutely harmless. But because this scientific information is not provided
to the adolescents, they feel worried and get depressed by the loss of semen. Such problem cannot be
ventilated to any one else other than their friends who are equally ignorant about it. Their friends too
endorse the bad effects of wet dreams. This leads to their further depression. In reality, it is the natures
attempt to keep the sex glands functioning by throwing out the accumulated secretions periodically; a sort of
servicing of the reproductive machinery.
Those who do not have wet dreams, may not be able father a child later. Absence of wet dreams is
suggestive of a block in the reproductive passage or non functioning of the sex glands. Semen is like any
other secretion from the body meant to be thrown out (e.g., tears, saliva, perspiration) and hence harmless
when lost. The fequency of wet dreams is inversely proportional to the masturbation. Boys who masturbate
periodically, have less frequency of wet dreams and vice versa. In a way, wet dream is a masturbation
done by the nature to keep the individual sexually fit.

3.

Scanty Hair on the Face: An adolescent gets an inferiority complex if he does not have an exuberant
growth of moustaches and beard on his face as his friends have. Growth of hair could be hereditory. No
treatment is required if his rest of the growing up features are already present (e.g., hair around the genitals
and in the armpits). Like Chinese and Japanese he has limited hair buds on his face and hence scanty hair.
This is absolutely normal. All that he needs is reassurance.

4.

Phimosis and Paraphimosis: Phimosis is a condition where the foreskin (prepucc) is too tight to retract
over the glans of the penis. The smegma accumulates under the foreskin. Smegma is a foul smelling
secretion and can lead to either infection or cancer in later years. Therefore, the doctors advise
circumcision, the removal of foreskin by surgery. After circumcision the glans of the penis remains exposed
and the smegma does not accumulate. In children phimosis to a certain extent is normal.
Circumcision is not advised. As the child grows and attains puberty, the foreskin naturally retracts over the
glans of the penis. However, if it cannot be retracted completely over the glans for the purpose of cleaning,
circumcision is advised. An adult who may be able to retract the foreskin over the flaccid penis but finds
difficulty in doing so over the erect penis. He has no difficulty in cleaning; but if he finds intercourse
uncomfortable or painful, he should undergo circumcision operation. In some of the individuals, the foreskin
may get retracted behind the glans of the penis and may remain there, being unable to pull it forward to its
usual position. This condition is called Paraphimosis. This should be treated as an emergency and the
circumcision should be done promptly. Otherwise swelling of the foreskin appears hampering the blood
supply of the penis. Amongst Jews and Muslims circumcision is done for religious purpose.
Due care should be taken to preserve Frenulum, the most sex-sensitive band of skin on the under surface of
glans of the penis. It should be done by a surgeon. There is a myth that circumcised individual has
increased sexual sensitivity and increased duration of intercourse. This is not true. Is circumcision done in
women? Medically, it is not necessary. However, it is done in some countries. When done by an
unscrupulous person the female genital anatomy is mutilated.

5.

Swelling in the Breast: At puberty, boys develop painful swelling in their breasts. The swelling is as big as
a marble. The swelling could be in one or both the breasts. The swellings disappear soon. No treatment is
required except fomentation with hot water. Some boys develop breasts like girls. Though painless, they feel
shy to expose their chest and feel worried as to whether they would partly turn into girls. This is called
Gynaecomastia. It is due to deposition of fat and is a harmless condition. The fat could be removed
through surgery by a plastic surgeon for aesthetic reasons.

6.

Pimples (Acne): Both girls and boys get pimples during the adolescence. The sites are face, shoulders,
chest, and back. These may get infected and pus may be formed. If squeezed by fingernails, a permanent
scar is left behind. Therefore the pimples should not be squeezed by the nails. Not every adolescent will get
pimples. The reason could be genetic predisposition. Under the influence of increased levels of sex
hormones, there is over production of the oily substance called Sebum through the skin. The surface of
skin becomes thicker and hence narrows the pores through which the sebum comes out. The sebum is
trapped inside the skin and forms a plug with a raised top, which when exposed to air, becomes a black
head. When infected, a pimple is formed.
Avoid use of greasy oils and cosmetics. The face should be washed several times a day with soap and
warm water. Take a diet containing fresh fruits and vegetables. Exposure to sunshine helps since ultra violet
light dries up the grease and peels the top layer of the skin. Tetracycline capsules by mouth and Benzoyl
Peroxide or Tretinoin cream application may be necessary in extreme cases. These should be used only on
doctors advice. The effect of treatment is temporar. The nature itself cures pimples permanently after some
years.

7.

Pain in the Testis: Some boys complain of pain in one or both the testes, though there is no history of
injury. During the adolescence the erection of the penis is a frequent episode which leads to congestion of
blood in the sex organs, causing pain in the testis. The only way to relieve the congestion is through
masturbation and by warm water fomentation. Paracetamol or Nimesulide tablet taken orally helps to relieve
the pain.

8.

Bleeding from Frenulum of the Penis: At a forceful retraction of the prepuce during the act of
masturbation (or during intercourse), the blood vessel in the frenulum gets torn and bleeding occurs. A
pressure by cotton wool (or by fingers, in emergency) for 3 minutes will stop the bleeding. No treatment is
required.

9.

Exposure to commercial Sex Worker: Adolescent boys have a strong desire for sex. To have an
experience of sex just once, some boys visit red light area to enjoy sex with the commercial sex worker. This
single episode is sufficient enough to devastate their lives. Not only they are at risk of getting STD/or HIV
infection, but also of terrible psychological trauma. Therefore, such risks should be thoughtfully escaped
avoiding even a single visit to the commercial sex worker.

10. Pornography Photoes or blue films of naked persons depicting sexual acts, or obscene literature is called
pornography. Pornography triggers sexual response in some individuals. It is more liked by males than by
females. Seeing, thinking or hearing of sensuous stimuli trigger the action of the sex-centre in the
hypothalamus of the brain, which brings about sexual response through the spinal cord and through the
blood vessels supplying the sex organs and therefore, pornography leads to erection of penis in the men.
Pornography is entirely made for the sexual entertainment of the males. It does not serve the purpose of sex
education. In fact, it is antagonising to sex education since it passes wrong messages. It endorses myths
and misconceptions. It shows exaggerated actions with exceptionly large sex organs. The viewers tend to
get depressed when they dont have or cant do what they saw. Youths view pornography as a source of
information on sexuality. If proper sex education is made available to them, the sale of pornography will
decrease. This has happened in Denmark. Children should be prohibited from seeing pornographic films or
reading obscene books. The females do not like to view pornography. They enjoy seeing films or reading
literature full of love and romance.

11. School Dropouts Flagging interest is an acute problem of adolescents. More boys than girls are affected.
At the age of 15-17, the boys are going through the peak of sexual drive, are trying to accommodate
physical and psychological changes; emotions are turbulent; body needs are strong. Angry criticism at poor
scholastic performance and parent's high expectations provoke them to give up studies. Some may run
away from home and some may commit suicide. Family plays a significant role in the lives of adolescents. A
good parent-adolescent communication leads to better ability to cope up with problems. The adolescent
should feel wanted and important. Loving, understanding and supportive family is adolescents best defence
against any problem.

12. Addiction Adolescents are more liable to get addicted to smoking, alcohol or drugs. The reasons are
many. Peer pressure, desire to establish freedom, rebellious attitudes, emotional detachment with parents,
insecurity, frustration, blindly following the West, incapacity for decision making, inhability to weigh pros and
cons of action are some of the causes.
All the addictions lead to deterioration of mental and physical health and ultimately to death. It is easy to
enter into this death trap, but difficult to come out of it. Therefore, the best policy is to avoid the temptations
of such addict-forming substances. Parents should be careful about their college going children, who feel
free to do anything they like. If a boy/girl comes late at night, fails in examinations repeatedly, frequently
asks for pocket money, dresses shabbily, deteriorates in health, quarrels frequently and if costly articles are
found to be missing from home, the parents should suspect of addiction in their child. Addiction should be
considered as a disease and the addict should be treated at a deaddiction centre under the supervision of a
psychiatrist. Is it possible to prevent addiction? To a certain extent, yes.
We cannot change the society, cannot stop cut-throat competition at every level; but we can definitely
provide love, security and protection to our children. Parents should have a good communication with the
adolescents, provide them emotional support, keep vigilance on their friends and on their ways of spending

pocket money. Criticism and scolding do not work. In fact these create a barrier between the parents and the
children. Parents have to spend more time with their children to have a dialogue with them and should treat
them as friends.

Virginity

Virgin is a person who has not had sexual intercourse. The term refers mostly to a woman, but should apply to both
the sexes. On the first wedding night when the husband inserts his penis in his wifes vagina, she is supposed to
bleed due to the tear of the hymen situated at the entrance of vagina. The myth is that if she does not bleed, she is
not supposed to be a virgin. T
here is invariably a double standard about virginity. Those men who make sure that their brides are virgin, are usually
the same men who make sure that their girl friends do not remain virgin and they themselves do not remain virgin.
There is no sign of virginity either in the males or in the females. Tear of hymen causing bleeding is not the sure test
of virginity. If a woman bleeds on the first wedding night, she may be a virgin, but if she does not bleed, it does not
mean that she is not a virgin.
There are several reasons for not bleeding on the first wedding night, other than the previous intercourse. The hymen
may be very lax, or it might have been torn by fingers or by vigorous sports or by the use of tampon during the
menstruation. There is a saying, It is difficult to prove a girl to be a virgin, and it is more difficult to prove that she is
not a virgin. Purity should be in the mind and not in the vagina. Man or woman should not ask the spouse about the
sexual experiences prior to their marriage. Even if she/he asks, you need not tell the truth (never in this matter at
least). Still better would be to think that virginity is between two ears and not between the two thighs.
Boys also feel that sex with virgin girl is more pleasure. It is not so. Do wearing brand new shoes or shirt give you
more comfort? (New shoes may give you blisters.) Some girls are afraid of profuge bleeding and pain at the first
intercourse due to tear of hymen. The bleeding is not more than a few drops and the pain is not more than a prick of
a needle. Anticipation of pain is more disturbing than the pain itself. There are certain other reasons for not bleeding
on the first wedding night.
The man ignorantly may try to insert his penis at urethra or at clitoris of the woman when she will not bleed inspite of
having intact hymen. The hymen may be thick and tough where it is not possible to penetrate by the penis. In that
case she may need a surgical incision to cut open the hymen.
A woman with a very lax hymen also does not bleed on the first wedding night. One more thing about hymen. Some
girls do not have perforations on the hymen and therefore, the menstrual flow, instead of coming out, accumulates in
the vagina. She gets pain and retention of urine. This condition is called Haematocolpos. A simple surgical incision
relieves the problem.

Semen (Dhaat)

When the male receives sexual stimulation, the penis becomes long, erect and rigid. A colourless, sticky secretion
from the pea-sized Cowpers glands comes out of urethral opening. This serves as a lubricant. If the stimulation
continues, it culminates into an Orgasm, the summit of the sexual pleasure. Ogasm is explosive and is associated
with expulsion of semen through the urethra. This process of expulsion of semen is called Ejaculation. All the
organs come back to normal after ejaculation. There are several myths and misconceptions about the semen. This
fluid is considered to be very precious and vital. Every drop of semen is supposed to be formed out of 50 drops of
blood. Therefore, loosing it in sleep (nocturnal emission) or during a waking state by masturbation is supposed to be
devitalising and harmful. Loss of semen is also supposed to cause weakness, backache, pimples, insomnia and
madness. Boys get carried away by this misinformation given by their friends or received through unscientific books.
Nothing of the above is true. Semen, like tears, saliva, perspiration is made for throwing out of the body. Its loss does
not cause any harm. There is no fixed stock of semen in the body.
The sex glands, like a spring of water, continue to secrete their secretions, which mix up to form semen. If the semen
is not thrown out periodically, during the waking state, the nature thorws it out during the sleep. This is called Nocturnal Emission or Wet dreams. This is not harmful. This is the way the nature tries to maintain the functioning
of the sex glands. Use it, or loose it is the rule of nature.
Semen is the mixture of the secretions from the seminal vesicles and prostate gland along with the sperms. The
sperms remain in a dormant state till they get mixed up with these secretions. These secretions provide nutrition to
the sperms and activate them. The mixing of these three constituents take place just prior to ejaculation. Soon after
ejaculation the semen clots and later liquifies due to a chemical reaction. The colour of the semen changes from
milky white to colourless. The semen becomes watery and starts flowing.
During the intercouse the semen is dropped in the vagina. At the mouth of the uterus the liquified semen enters the
uterus through the Os (mouth of uterus). The sperms in the semen run forward wagging their tails and swimming
through the semen. They pass through the uterus and through the Fallopian tubes to meet the ovum. Out of millions
of sperms only one sperm enters and fuses with the ovum, if present, and a child is born. This fusion is called
fertilization. If the constitutents of the semen are not thrown out through the ejaculation, they disintigrate. Preserving
the semen by Brahmacharya (celibacy) does not help to improve physical or mental health. Similarly loosing it
through masturbaion, in sleep, or during the intercourse does not harm or deteriorate the health.
Semen is a vehicle for the sperms and therefore it has got to be watery thin. Thicker the better is not a rule, instead,
thinner the better should be a rule. The muscles at the root of the penis squeeze the semen out when formed.
However, it is not necessary for the semen to come out forcefully and in sperts. Even if the semen dribbles out, or
even if the semen is poured in the vagina by a syringe, its capacity to fertilize the ovum remains unaltered. The

volume of the semen thrown out per ejaculation is half to one teaspoonful (2 to 4 ml). Though only one sperm is
required for the birth of a baby, 400 to 600 millions of sperms are thrown out in a single ejaculation. Millions of them
die on the way to their destination. A minimum count of 20 million per ml. is rquired for fertility.
At least 50% of the sperms should be actively motile after one hour of ejaculation if fertility is desired. The production
of sperms in the testes begin from the age of 13 years and continues till the end of life in males (unlike in females
where the production of ovum stops by the age of 45 years). There is no stock of semen in the body and therefore,
there is no question of exhausting the same. Passing the semen through the urine is supposed to be disastrous. This
is far from the truth.
In reality, the semen and the urine do not mix, since there is a valve mechanism to prevent this mixing. What is seen
at the bottom of the bottle containing the urine is a layer of phosphates, the unwanted mineral salts thrown out by
kidneys through the urine. At times, while straining for passing a stool, the bolus of the stool causes pressure on the
seminal vesicles and prostate gland which in turn expel their contents through the urinary passage. This is normal
and harmless.
The colourless lubricant secretion from Cowpers glands is sometimes mistaken for the semen. It is the anxiety and
fear about the loss of semen that causes harm, rather than the actual loss of it through nocturnal emission,
masturbation, or intercouse. Palpitation, tremours, backache, weakness, disturbed sleep, sunken eyes, diminished
concentration, etc. are the symptoms due to anxiety over the loss of the semen and not due to the loss of semen
itself. This condition is called Dhaat syndrome. The only treatment is reassurance.

Psycho-sexual Development

Masculine or feminine attitudes and preferences for certain sexual partners or certain form of sexual activity are not
established at one particular moment, but are acquired gradually over a period of time. This outcome depends on
childs inherited abilities and on social influences from parents, teachers, friends etc. These influences can be positive
or negative. If a girl is treated as a boy, then she learns to consider herself as a male. This early role assignment may
become irreversible.
Sexual behaviour was thought to be instinctive and was assumed that at some time after puberty, sexual desire and
sexual activity came naturally to every male and female. The first challenge to this view came from Sigmund Freud
(1856-1939) and his followers. According to Freud there is basic sexual drive present in all human beings from the
moment of birth. This instinct which strives for sensual pleasure, is at first diffused and attains its eventual proper
maturation only through a process of Psycho-sexual Maturation.
A childs personality development is a contest between biological drive and cultural constraint. The contest proceeds
in three major phases which are coordinated with childs physiological maturation. They are oral, anal and phallic
phases. Oral Phase This phase lasts from birth to ten months of age. In this phase sucking is the chief source of
pleasure. The babys persistant sucking shows signs of an enjoyment independent of hunger and nourishment.
Anything going wrong at this stage of psycho-sexual development, disappointment at breast, separation from mother
can lead to frustration and can cause fixation of the personality at this phase.
Excessive satisfaction can also cause fixation at this stage. An orally fixated person may be talkative, impatient,
dependent, overambitious, generous, sociable, very fond of food, inclined to smoke or drink, or have oral sexual traits
like kissing, or oral sex (fellatio or cunnilingus). Anal Phase From ten months to three years of age the pleasurable
sensations are obtained by the baby from places other than the mouth. The acts of passing stool gives the child
extreme pleasure. The child now begins to gain control over the bowel movements and thereby indirectly over the
attending adults, whom it can now please/displease by eliminating/withholding the faeces.
If the toilet training is very strict or there is much rejection or there is separation from the mother at this stage, the
child can get fixated at this stage of psycho-sexual development. Sexuality of anally fixated person could result in
homosexual trends where the anus remains the focus of sexual interest. Phallic Phase This phase lasts from three to
seven years of age. Now, the interest of the child shifts to the genital organ. From this point the psycho-sexual
development differs in boys and girls.
The most pleasurable zones of the body are no longer the mouth or the anus, but penis for boys and the clitoris for
girls. Freud believed that every child normally progresses from oral to phallic phase unless some negative influences
interfere with the development. However, if the particular needs of any of these phases were either unfulfilled or
gratified to excess, the child could get fixated and thus hampered in its psycho-sexual development. Genital Phase
Children who progress through all the three phases normally and without getting fixated reach Latency Period that

lasts from seven years of age till puberty. During this period the sexual interests are suspended. Eventually the child
reaches Genital Phase at puberty when the sexual instinct reawakens and seeks satisfacation through genital
intercourse.
Many scientists have challanged the psychoanalytic view of Freud. Freuds theory has never been scientifically tested
sufficiently to be proven or disproven. After Freud important research regarding psycho-sexual development came
from John Money, a world renowned researcher from Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, U.S.A. Gender Identity
Gender identity is an individuals perception of being male or female. It is a feeling of, I am a boy or I am a girl.
Gender identity becomes established between eighteen months and three years of age. However the child may not
understand what it means to be a male or a female. He may say, He is a boy because he has short hair or She is a
girl because she wears skirt. Gender Role Gender role is an individuals outward expression of maleness or
femaleness in social setting. The child begins to develop awareness of gender role by the age of two to three years.
Boys and girls tend to follow the behaviour patterns demonstrated by their parents. They learn from Parents such
things as how to relate to members of the opposite sex and what type of work and displays of emotion are
appropriate to members of each sex. Girls are taught to be home loving, passive and subservient; whereas boys are
encouraged to be outgoing, self relient and not to show their emotions. Recent years have seen a blurring of
traditional gender stereotypes and more and more activities are accepted as equally appropriate to males or
females.
Forces that Shape Gender Identity and Gender Role

1.

Learning Theory: Gender identity and role development is shaped by cultural influences to which the young
child is exposed. The child learns to imitate the same sex parents behaviour. In addition the parents treat
boys and girls differently from the time of the birth. This is known as differential socialization.

2.

Cognitive Theory: It is only at the age of five or six when children understand that the gender is constant,
and that they are able to form a firm gender identity. Only after this consistant self concept, children learn by
observation certain behaviours appropriate for each gender.

3.

Biosocial Interaction: Many researchers believe that gender identity and role development are mainly
influenced by social learning. The fundamental establishment of sense of ones self as male or female is set
in place by the age of three years.

The most important influences on gender identity and role development are learnt rather than biologically controlled
by hormones or genetics. Transvestites and Transsexuals are the examples of faulty gender identity and role. Sexual
Orientation Every one is born as a boy or a girl. The boys grow up as men and the girls as women. As they grow and
develop they begin to feel attracted to other people.
Most men and women are Heterosexual and fall in love with someone of the opposite sex. Some experience different
kind of loving. They may become Homosexual and feel attracted to the individual of the same sex; or Bisexual and
feel attracted to men and women. Sexual orientation refers to whether a person is heterosexual, homosexual or
bisexual. It is not known why a person has a particular sexual orientation. There are several theories. Genetics,
prenatal influences, socio-cultural influences, psycho-social factors, or combination of all these factors are supposed

to determine the sexual orientation. Many do not admit their sexual orientation if they happen to be homosexuals,
since homosexuals are mistreated.
A small percentage of people in every society remain homosexual. Their sexual orientation cannot be changed by
therapy or medicines. Homosexuals are as normal as others except for their sexual orientation. Homosexuals cannot
be identified by their external appearance. Love Map John Money, worlds most respected sex researcher, has coined
the term Lovemap to describe the mental pattern expressed in every individuals sex-erotic fantasies and practice.
Lovemap, like a native language of a person is unique for himself. Lovemap is developed during early years of life
before the age of eight years and is executed after puberty.
Children learn their native language by practising it; similarly they get a native lovemap by engaging in sexual
rehearsal play in childhood. When their play is not interfered with by parents, teachers, peers or by the society, the
lovemap develops typically as heterosexual. At puberty and thereafter such individuals have fantasies, daydreams,
nightdreams which are heterosexual. Like any other species, in the human species also most individuals have an
inbuilt determinant to have young ones and so to replace themselves with a new generation. Sexual rehearsal play
occurs in all primates that live in social troops.
Human primates are no exception. A lovemap, once it is formed, is rather uniquely personalized. It tends to be
remarkably stable throughout life; and carries the programme of a persons erotic fantasies and their corresponding
practices. The normal heterosexual play of the childhood may be hampered by too much prohibition, prevention. and
punishment. In such case the standard heterosexual lovemap does not develop properly in the brain. In
consequence, the love map may be defaced in such a way that the parts are missing, thus impairing in adulthood the
functioning of the sex organs in genital intercourse. Such lovemap is Hypophilic.
By contrast, the Hyperphilic lovemap is one in which the lovemap defies defacement, so that the sex organs in
adulthood are used with exaggerated defiance, frequency, and compulsiveness and/or with multiplicity of partners, in
pairs or in groups. The lovemap may not be completely defaced, but redesigned with detours that include either new
elements or relocations of original ones. These may be derived from atypical sexual rehearsal play in childhood or
from encounters in which the sexual organs become stimulated, e.g., enema, whipping. In such cases the love map
gets compromised and distorted and changed beyond recognition. Distortion, therefore, gets carried over into
fantasies and practices. Erotic murder/suicide is an example of distorted lovemap. Distorted lovemap is also
responsible for Paraphilia (para=beyond usual; philia=love). A paraphilic lovemap may unfold after puberty.
Paraphilias occur more in men than in women. Fetishism (object or body part causing arousal), sadism (infliction of
pain), masochism (receiving of pain) zoophilia (animal), pedophilia (child), necrophilia (corpse), gerontophilia (elder)
are some of the paraphilias. Paraphilias are difficult to treat.
Drugs like Cyproterone acetate, Medroxyprogesterone acete, Depot Provera which act as antiandrogens (against
male hormone) along with counselling by experts have given favourable results in some cases. Body Image The way
a person feels about his or her own body and physical appearance is known as Body Image. It affects feelings and
behaviour of the person. A persons view of himself has much impact on his ability to form intimate and loving
relationship. A real or imagined physical flaw can stand in the way of nonsexual persuits like sports. A positive body
image is an important part of self-esteem, and is vital to establish intimacy with others. It is feeling good about oneself
and the belief that one is valuable and deserving of loving relationship. We all are different. Human bodies are
different in size, shape, and colour. Therefore all bodies are special and unique, including those of disabled.
The male and female bodies are also equally special. The way the body looks is determined by the genetic factors.
The shape, height, skin colour, hair, etc. depend, upon the inherited characters from parents and grandparents. The
appearance depends upon environment and health habits also. The media like films and television project beautiful
people, but most people do not fit in these images. However, the value of a person is not determined by the
appearance alone. Each person can be proud of his body and the special qualities of himself. A person who feels
good about his/her body will seem more likeable to others. People with physical disabilities have the same feelings,
needs, and desires as the people without disabilities. Adolescents who appear to be physically different from their
peers may have problems of body image that alter their sexual attitudes or behaviour. A boy who is short in stature
may refrain from social activities; or a teenagar with severe acne (pimples) may avoid heterosexual situations out of
embarrassment.
Girls with too small or too big breasts will be in similar situation. Many girls worry about the size of their breasts; but
the size is normal. Many boys may be worried about the size of their penis seeing others in restroom who seem to
have a larger penis; though their penis is normal. Adolescents may also be concerned about masturbation,
homosexuality, contents of their sexual fantasies, confusion about love, sexual adequacy and many more issues. The

existence of such problems over a period of years might lead to poor body image, poor self-esteem, guilt feeling and
depression. This may reflect inexperience, lack of knowledge, misconceptions about sexuality, anxiety, psychological
immaturity than anything else. All that they need to be told that they are normal. Those teenagers who appear to have
major distress may need counselling. Good health habits like diet and exercise can improve the way a person looks
and feels.
Factual knowledge can help in developing a positive body image. Physical attractiveness alone should not be a major
factor in choosing friends or a life partner.

Masturbation

Masturbation is stimulation of sex organs by self. It is a solo activity. When two do it to one another, it is called
"Mutual Masturbation. About 93 to 98 per cent of men and 60 to 80 per cent of women do it. However, most of them
do not accept it. It is supposed to be a normal step in the development of sexuality. No harm is done if they do it.
Those who do it, find a sense of physical satisfaction and release of mental tension. It familiarizes oneself with the
sexual response. A woman can experience orgasm through intercourse, if she has learnt to have orgasm through
masturbation. Men who do not have ejaculation/orgasm are found to have no experience of masturbation.
Masturbation is a taboo and lot of stigma is attached to it.
Boys feel that by doing masturbation, they become weak, get pimples, go mad and their penis gets bent, decreases
in size or get tilted. Masturbation is supposed to cause impotence, liquify or exhaust the stock of semen. Nothing is
true. Scientists say that it is not at all harmful but is beneficial. It is a safe sexual outlet. It does not cause any bad
effect either on the penis or on the general health. Since it is a solo performance, it does not encroach upon
anybodys freedom and it can be done at any time. It costs nothing. Masturbation is surest way to prevent STD and
HIV/AIDS infections. Sociologists feel that had masturbation not been there, the rapes, homosexuality, prostitution,
sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS would have been on increase.
Boys are worried about the loss of semen which is supposed to be a precious and vital fluid. In fact semen is a fluid
meant for throwing out of body. No harm is done if it is thrown out and no benefit it obtained if it is preserved in the
body. Sperms and the constituents of the semen are continuously produced in the body. If the semen is not
ejaculated at intervals either by masturbation or in sleep, it gets disintegrated and absorbed in the body. Some boys
are worried that they have done "too much of masturbation and therefore, they have landed into some problems like
impotence or weakness. The fact is that there is nothing like "too much. Like sleep, thirst, hunger, the body knows its
requirements. The body craves only till the needs are satisfied. The need of sex-outlet is great during the
adolescence. Unlike the animals, the human being cannot have sexual outlet freely with the opposite sex.
Nature itself teaches the alternative method of sexual outlet, i.e., mastubation. Animals too masturbate by forelimbs
or by rubbing their penis against the trees. "Use it or loose it is the rule of the nature. The organ that is not used, will
not continue to function. Masturbation and wet dreams are natures attempts to keep the sex organs functioning. Let
us take the example of our tongue. If you attempt talking, you may become an orator. If you dont, you cannot be one.
If you talk too much, your tongue will not get bent, curved or slanting. The same rule applies to penis. Not only
unmarried men and women masturbate, but married persons also do it when their partner is not around or is sick.
Elderly persons also do it. Intense desire for masturbation amongst boys is because of high level of the hormone,
Testosterone. The frequency of masturbation is less in girls because oestrogen hormone in them is not so sexstimulating one.
Boys masturbate by moving the foreskin of the penis to and fro by fingers or by the fist of the hand. Another common
way is the rubbing of penis to the bed, by moving the hip forwards and backwards. In either way, the stimulation of
the glans of the penis is continued to the point of ejaculation. In fact, masturbation is imitation of the intercourse. In
masturbation, the penis is steady and the hand moves; while in the intercourse the vagina is steady and the penis

moves. In either case, the effect remains the same. (It is something like whether the barrel of the syringe moves or
the piston moves, effect is same.) The brain perceives the sensation from the penis in the same way either through
masturbation or through intercourse, and triggers the orgasm. Therefore, the quality of orgasm from both these
activities remain the same. Hence, masturbation is a safe alternative for sexual intercourse.
Boys are under the impression that girls masturbate by introducing long objects like banana in their vagina. It is
wrong. They do not introduce anything there since it is uncomfortable and not pleasing. The sensitive part in girls are
the clitoris and the labia minora. Girls stimulate these parts by using fingers, by making rhythmic movements of
crossed legs or by a spray of running water. The frequency of masturbation in girls is much less than that in boys.
Does one get addicted to masturbation? No. When he gets an opportunity to have sexual relationship with the
opposite sex, he can easily get switched over to it. Masturbation could be bad only if there is obscession about it, i.e.,
doing nothing else but masturbation thorughout the day. This is an indication of psychological imbalance. In normal
human beings this does not happen. Masturbation does not affect the performance in sports.
Athletes who won the olympic medals have masturbated on the previous night for the release of the tension and to
get good sleep. It is also found that the students masturbate more frequently during the preparation time for their
examinations. There are boys who wish to discontinue the habit of masturbation totally. First of all, masturbation is
not a habit or addiction like smoking or alcohol. It does not harm as tobacco or alcohol does. Masturbation is a normal
expression of sexuality during the adolescence. The frequency decreases as the age advances. It is not necessary to
go against the stream of the nature. However, the choice is theirs. They should start taking deep interest in sports,
physical exercises, music, painting, games etc. They should develop some hobby and channelise their energy into
these directions. This is called "Sublimation. They should make a decision not to masturbate.
Every morning they should make the same decision for that day. If they do not succeed they need not repent or feel
disappointed. They should make a fresh decision without any guilt feeling, because masturbation is a healthy normal
behaviour. If they stop masturbation, it is normal; and if they continue to do it, that is also normal. Some quacks take
advantage of the guilt feelings of masturbation amongst youth and prescribe ointments, pills for increasing the size of
the penis or making the semen (Dhaat) "powerful. This is absolutely cheating. Youths should not fall a prey to this
unscrupulousness and cheating. What harms in masturbation is not the act itself, but the feeling of guilt and shame
anxiety regarding the act.

Homosexuality

Men having sex with men are called Homosexuals. Woman having sex with women are called Lesbians. By the
norms of the society, homosexuality is abnormal. However, scientists have found that 3 percent of population is
homosexual and this is accepted as a normal variation (like left handedness). A homosexual is a normal person in
every respect except for his sexual preference. It is not possible to identify a homosexual by his external appearance.
They have a normal behaviour. They are found in all cultures and all strata of the society.
A homosexual is also known as gay. A homosexual and his sexuality should be respected as much as one's own.
During the sexual act they hug, kiss each other practice oral, anal sex (sodomy) and mutual masturbation.
Homosexuality is prohibited by law in our country. The purpose of nature (i.e., reproduction) is not served by this
relationship. Homosexuality is not without danger. A homosexual can get STD (veneral disease) HIV/AIDS or hepatitis
(jaundice) if he goes on changing his partner.
Why does an individual become a homosexual? Is it possible to convert him to a heterosexual? These questions are
difficult to answer. Homosexuality is supposed to be due to genetic predisposition. Some say it is due to faulty
upbringing. According to Freud an individual first loves himself, later he loves the persons of the same sex and still
later, he loves the persons of the opposite sex. Homosexuals are those who get fixated at the intermediate stage of
personality development. Prisoners, sailors, soldiers practise homosexuality when away from home. They become
heterosexuals as and when the opportunity is available. Hence in some persons homosexuality is found to be an
alternative method of sexual outlet.
Adolescents may find pleasure in fondling of genitals while playing with the friends of the same sex. Some may
practise homosexual activities for some time. This is a normal transitional phase of development. This may cause a
feeling of guilt and shame in the adulthood. It is this feeling rather than the act itself that harms the person. The past
episode should be forgotten. Attempts have been made to convert homosexuals to heterosexuals, but were found to
be futile. However, those homosexuals who are strongly motivated to become heterosexuals, can certainly be helped
by sex therapists. Aversion Therapy or Systematic Desensitization Therapy are the psychotherapeutic modalities
that can help them.
Those homosexuals who strongly wish to refrain from homosexuality should try to do a follows:

1.

Tell the partner that you are disinterested in homosexual contact and hence he should not meet you.

2.

Take more interest in your hobbies and be engaged in it.

3.

If a thought of homosexuality comes to your mind, put it off and think of something else. Pinch your arm to
create aversion towards such thought.

4.

After getting up in the morning, stand before a mirror and advise yourself not to indulge in homosexual
contact on that day. Congratulate yourself at night before going to bed for successfully doing so. Do this
every day.

5.

Try heterosexual fantasies and feel good about it. Some adults or pedophilics (persons having sex with
children) may induce the adolescents for sexual relations.

These men may buy sweets for them, take them to a cinema or to an isolated place and may sexually abuse them.
The adolescents should be bold enough to refuge such offer. If any one tries to touch the genitals or make any sexual
advances unexpectedly, he should be reprimanded immediately by saying loudly, Stop it, I do not like it. Invariably
such people are cowards and not criminals. They respond favourably to your anger. If he continues inspite of your
warning, you should leave the place immediately and without feeling offended inform your teacher, parents or the
police. If you submit to him even once, you will be victimized repeatedly. Sexual abuse like this is a crime.

Sexual Variations

Once known as Sexual Deviations or Sexual Perversions are now called as Sexual Variations. The exact cause
is not known. Freud thought it to be due to fixation at certain developmental stages, different complexes, immature
personality, too much love or hatred for father, broken homes, etc. His views were discarded by the later scientists.
The classification of sexual behaviour by Freud such as normal-abnormal, healthy-unhealthy, mature-immature was
discarded and they thought that each individual is somewhere in between these two extreme points. Therefore, the
line of demarcation between normal and abnormal is very thin. That is why the scientists changed the term
Perversion to Variation. However, one thing remains that the sexual activities which encroach upon others
freedom (e.g., rape, sexual abuse), which cause diseases (e.g., STD/HIV/AIDS), which are socially unacceptable
(e.g., incest, voyeurism, exhibitionism) or which are prohibited by law (e.g., sodomy, bastiality, sadism) should
definitely be discouraged and dissuaded.
Sexual variations are mostly seen in men. The list of sexual variations is exhaustive. Over 150 variations have been
recorded. Homosexuality has already been mentioned. The other variations commonly met with are as below:

1.

Exhibitionism: These men expose their sex organs to girls. They are not oversexed but are attentition
seekers. They get sexual satisfaction when the girls frown, scream, run or get shocked.

2.

Voyeurism: These are peeping toms. A voyeurist gets sexual pleasure by peeping at a nude woman in the
bathroom or at the couples engaged in sex. This is supposed to be an infantile form of sexual bahaviour.

3.

Sadism-Masochism: Sadism is a sexual deviation when the person gets sexual satisfaction by inflicting
pain on the sexual partner. Sadism is sometimes life threatening. Masochism is quite the opposite of it. A
masochist gets sexual satisfaction when he receives pain from his sexual partner.

4.

Transvestism: These men dress as opposite sex to get the sexual satisfaction. They do not do it openly.
Secretly these men were bra or female underwear. However, they maintain their identity as males.

5.

Trans sexuals: These are persons who have a body of a man and a mind of a woman. There are also
women whose mind is of a man. They strongly feel that they have got a wrong body and hence insist on
changing their sex. They go for sex change operation. Hijdas are male trans sexuals. They cut off their sex
organs in an attempt to become a female.

6.

Sodomy: Introducing penis in the anus of the partner. This is practised by homosexuals. A heterosexual
male may also do it. This can transmit HIV, STD & Hepatitis infection.

7.

Bestiality: Having sex with animals may be seen amongst farmers.

8.

Fetichism: These men get sexually stimulated when they see a particular object belonging to the opposite
sex, e.g., kerchief, bra, underwear, shoes.

9.

Incest: Having sex with a person of blood relation.

10. Frottege: These men rub their sex organs against the body of others to get sexual satisfaction. It is common
to meet such people in a rush in railways, cinemas, market places, where they get a chance to do so.

Whenever you come across any such activity which you dont approve of, either ignore it, or try to run away from it or
inform the parents/school teacher or police. At times, you may have to warn the person and tell him that you dont like
it. You should never submit to any one against your wish in the matter of sexuality.

Adolescent Sexual Behaviour

Adolescence is a time of rapid changes and difficult challenges. They face a wide variety of psychosocial demands:
becoming independent, developing skills in interacting well with their parents, devising ethical principles, becoming
intellectually competent, acquiring a sense of responsibility etc. At the same time the adolescents have to cope with
their sexuality by learning how to deal with their sexuality by learning how to deal with the changing sexual feelings,
deciding whether to participate in various types of sexual activity, discovering how to recognize love, and learning
how to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
Adolescence is also a time of discovery and awakening, intellectual and emotional maturation combined with physical
development that create increasing freedom and excitement. It is no wonder that the adolescents feel conflicts and
confusion. The paradoxical nature of adolescence is seen in their sexual sphere. Sexual fantasies and dreams
become more common in adolescence. Fantasies during masturbation can add pleasure to the sexual activity.
Fantasies can be a substitute for a real (but unavailable) sexual experience, induce arousal or orgasm, provide a
form of mental rehearsal for later sexual experiences and provide a safe, unembarrassing means of sexual
experimentation. For this reason the use of fantasy is important for his/her later sexual existence. Adolescents
struggle to establish personal identity and independence. Peer group pressure vary from one community to another.
In one group the code of sexual conduct may be very traditional with a high premium on female virginity and almost
all sexual activities limited to meaningful relationship.
In another group sex may be viewed as a status symbol. A new group is emerging where the teenagers are expected
by their peers to become sexually experienced at an early age; and those who are not comfortable with pressure are
viewed as old fashioned and immature. The teenagers sexual decision-making reflects individual psychological
readiness, personal values, moral reasoning and fear of negative consequences. Many adults seem to be threatened
by adolescent sexuality and therefore try to regulate it in illogical ways: Ban sex education in schools, limit
information about contraceptive methods, censor what teenagers should not see in films. Fortunately not all
parents adopt such a negative view. Most parents, regardless of their own sexual life styles, have a tendency to be
less permissive about premarital sex for their own children. When parents are the primary source of sex education,
adolescents have more traditional sex values and have higher rate of virginity. Adolescents main sexual activity is
masturbation. There is a marked difference in the incidence of masturbation between males and females.
Surveys show that over 93 per cent of males and 60 per cent of females masturbate. Inspite of this behavioural trend,
guilt, fear or anxiety about masturbation continues to plague teenagers. On the other hand masturbation fulfills some
important needs for adolescents: relieving sexual tension, providing a safe means of sexual experimentation,
controlling sexual impulses, and discharging general stress. Petting is physical contacts between males and females
in an attemt to produce erotic arousal without sexual intercourse. American surveys reported that over 80 per cent
adolescent boys and girls engaged in petting by age of eighteen. Indian survey on petting is not yet available. The
first experience of sexual intercourse is invariably of worry, discomfort, disappointment, or guilt rather than of
happiness, pleasure, intimacy and satisfaction. An American survey reported that about 78 per cent of adolescent
boys and 46 per cent of adolescent girls had experienced sexual intercourse. Kinsey studies showed that it was fairly
common for males to have atleast one homosexual experience during adolescence, while considerably fewer
adolescent females engaged in sex with another female.
More recently there seems to be a moderate decline in adolescent homosexual experience. It is important to realize
that an isolated homosexual encounter or a transient pattern of homosexual activity does not translate into being
homosexual. Most adolescents with homosexual experience do not go on to homosexual orientation in adulthood.

Nevertheless, some adolescents develop guilt about their homosexual activities as a result of even a single same-sex
episode and may experience emotional turmoil. The teenager who is worried about his homosexuality may avoid
homosexual contacts, withdraw from all sexual situations or may consider homosexual activity as a passing phase
which he will outgrow. More than one million pregnancies occur each year in American teenage females. Since they
are unplanned and unwanted, they create psychological anguish, health risks and social and familial consequences.
The teenage mothers have more medically complicated pregnancies, as well as a higher risk of death. The babies of
teenage mothers have an increased chance of being underweight and are likely to die in infancy. Unmarried teenage
girls who find themselves pregnant are confronted by a series of psychological problems. They often get no emotional
or financial support from the father of the child. Her decision to abort the pregnancy may produce intense feeling of
guilt and anguish.
Some teenagers opt for marriage as a result of pregnancy. Unfortunately, these marriages are much likely to be
unhappy, or end in desertion or divorce. There is also a risk of suicide. The impact of teenage pregnancy is nearly nil
on males responsible for it. It is reported that the key factor in unintended teenage pregnancy is misinformation or no
information.
Many teenagers do not know that intercourse leads to pregnancy. Some have misconceptions like a single act of
intercourse or an intercourse in a standing position does not cause pregnancy. Research indicates that only about 10
per cent of parents discuss sexuality with their teens beyond simply saying dont. On the other hand, several studies
demonstrate that among teenage girls, those who have had sex education courses have fewer pregnancies than
those who havnt.
There is a need to stress upon the adolescent boys and girls to show responsible sexual behaviour by observing
abstinence from sexual intercourse or to use a cotraceptive if it is a must. Family Planning Association of India has
made a multicentric survey (4709 respondents: 42% males and 58% females) regarding the youth sexuality. As per
the survey, Sexual Experience and Behaviour: Males Females Sexual contact 33.7 % 11.8 % Average age at first
sexual experience 16. yrs. 17.9 yrs.
Sexual intercourse experienced 18.9 % 5.8 % Type of sexual contact: Masturbation 31.8 % 2.7 % Caressing Breast
23.2 % 6.0 % Kissing 17.2 % 11.1 % Sex between thighs 9.7 % 2.4 % Fondling partners genitals 9.1 % 3.0 % Oral
sex 4.8 % 1.5 % Anal sex 2.1 % 0.4 %
Dr. Narayana Reddy, a sexologist from Chennai (Madras, India) conducted a survey of 1120 college students (53 %
males and 47 % females) of the agegroup 15-25 years in 1983 and came to the following conclusions regarding their
sexual attitudes and behaviour:

1.

Majority of the students (69%) do not consider sex as something dirty.

2.

Great majority (68%) feel that sex should be discussed freely.

3.

Most of the students said that they get information from friends (53%) and books (37%).

4.

To the question what causes them to be excited, the answers were as follows:

i.

Love scenes in cinemas : 53 %

ii.

Reading of books on sex : 39 %

iii.

Reading of romantic novels : 23 % (This shows pervading influence of the mass media.)

5.

Nearly 43% had fear that masturbation is harmful. Yet nearly 70% of them confessed that they do
masturbate. The remaining 30% never answered in the negative. They preferred not to answer. The
inference is obvious.

6.

Nearly half of the respondents (52%) had their first sexual experience between the ages of 15 to 25 years.
None of them were exposed to formal sex education; but yet they experimented with their own urges.

7.

Nearly 15 % of students had homosexual experience.

8.

To the question what changes they want that can lead to their better understanding of sex, the majority (47
%) wanted their elders and the society to change their attitudes towards sex. Many of them felt that parents
and teachers should be given sex education before it is imparted to the students.

9.

Dr. Narayana reddy further writes, This clearly gives us an indication as to how much our youngsters are
learning by trial and error method. One can imagine the havoc and damage being caused to these young
minds, which produce guilt, fear and anxiety and these have an indelible mark throughout.

Girl-Boy Behaviour

1.

Meeting of boys and girls for exchange of views and ideas is encouraged by parents and teachers.

2.

A wide circle of friends enables better understanding of the opposite sex.

3.

Meeting should be in groups rather than singly, preferably at homes.

4.

It should be more of friendship rather than intimacy.

5.

Respect for each other.

6.

Do not expect every relationship to end in marriage.

7.

Learn what concepts the person has about members of the opposite sex. Attempt to clear up the fallacies
and prejudices.

8.

Be aware of attraction at the unconscious level when you meet each other.

9.

Single dates should be avoided at least not during the teenage.

10. Self pity or pity for another person should not be the basis for relationship.

11. The relationship should be based around activities and not around courting.

12. Girls must be aware that male sexual instinct is very powerful at this age and is genitalcentred. Anything
that stimulates it will result in unavoidable acting out by the boy.

13. If your friend is leading you to behave in a way which is not helpful to you as a person, but harming you in
your peronal self or in your values or in your studies, then be courageous and break off the friendship. Do
not confuse loyalty and friendship. Your first duty is towards your own self.

14. Falling in love is no crime, but should be a timely and mature decision. The maturity does not mean only a
physical growth, does not depend upon instinct, but on conscious and responsible decisions and
independent thinking. Before committing themselves to a love relationship, they should spend time together,
and get to know one another well.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is verbal or physical behaviour by one person (perpetrator) towards another person which is
considered in their culture to be quite significantly upsetting, demeaning, harmful and/or traumatic. The abuse can be
verbal abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse, spouse abuse, elder abuse, child abuse or baby battering.
Generally the perpetrators are men and the victims are women or children.
Sexual Abuse of Girls

1.

Winking or whistling at a girl or eve teasing.

2.

Talking in an obscene language to a girl on phone.

3.

Exposing the genitals in the presence of a girl (exhibitionism).

4.

Writing obscene letters to a girl.

5.

To show naked pictures or to make gestures suggestive of sexual intercourse.

6.

Pinching the cheeks or breasts, pinching her buttocks or genitals, pressing his penis to her body in a
crowded situation.

7.

Keeping his hand on the shoulder of a woman, or trying to observe her breasts.

8.

Kissing or embracing her against her will.

9.

Female circumcision.

10. Rape.

11. Any act of gender based sexual violence.

Sexual Abuse of Children

The perpetrator is generally an adult or a significantly older child.

1.

Touching or fondling the genitals of a child.

2.

Asking the child to fondle the genitals of an adult.

3.

Exposure of genitals in the presence of a child.

4.

Showing pornographic pictures to a child or using a child for making pornography.

5.

Having sexual act with a child (anal, genital or oral sex).

Sexual abuse is not uncommon. Many such instances are not reported for the sake of preserving honour of the family
and for preventing shame. Therefore, they do not come to surface. Over 15 to 30 per cent of girls are seriously
abused or raped. Over 85 per cent of perpetrators are from amongst the family members, neighbours or
acquaintances.
Effects of Sexual Abuse
Apart from the preponderant effects of sadness, anger, helplessness and distrust of men, sexually abused girls have
been found to be prone to variety of psychological and behavioural disturbances caused by the trauma of abuse.
These could be bed wetting, nightmares, sleep disorders, depression, anxiety, extreme inhibition, low self esteem
caused by a sense of guilt and shame, and other multiple personality disorders.

The situation worsens if the girl becomes pregnant or gets STD/HIV infection. When grown up into a woman, she
may show adult sexual dysfunctions like frigidity. vaginismus or absence of orgasm. The victims invariably tend to
hide the sexual abuse from their parents thinking it to be their own fault for which their parents would get angry.
On the other hand, whenever the children or the adolescents boldly tell such instances to their parents, they (parents)
do not believe them, especially when the perpetrators are close relatives. In fact, many parents and teachers do not
believe that the sexual abuse exists. Parents also feel that it cannot happen to their daughter.
The studies indicate that one in every four girls is sexually abused before the age of 18 years. Children even 11
months old have been sexually assaulted. From the police records of 1992, it has been found in Delhi that 54 per
cent of rape victims were found to be below 15 years of age, and in 80 per cent of these cases, the rapist was known
to the victim (now, called as surviver).
In several sex scandals in Maharashtra, the girls were raped, photographed and blackmailed. The girls feared to
disclose the sexual abuse to their parents and therefore underwent further sexual abuse. Sexual abuse of any form is
an offence. There is provision for punishment and or fine under several sections of Criminal Procedure Code. Hence
such instances should be promptly reported to the police.
How to Avoid Sexual Abuse?
This is a difficult question to answer though several suggestions have been made by the experts. This can never be
fool-proof.
Safety tips:

a.

Your body is yours (the right to privacy). - Nobody has got the right to touch you if you dont want to be
touched. - If somebody is bothering you, no matter who that person is, you have the right to stop him and tell
the trusted adult (e.g., mother). - If a stranger asks you to go with him/her, you should leave quickly and tell
your parets, teacher, neighbour.

b.

You have the right to say No. - You have the right to say No to adults, not answer their questions, and
scream for help if you feel you are in danger.

c.

Find a grown up who listens to you. - If some one bothers you, hurts you, or scares you, find a grown up
who will listen to you, and tell him/her what happened.

d.

Trust your instincts. - If you get a feeling that something is wrong, you have the right to get away. - Be
aware of your surroundings. If you think some one is following you, you can cross the street, change your
route, run away, or go to a store or a restaurant.

e.

Know your neighbourhood. - Know where the police department is located or the stores and restaurants
where you could go for help, when necessary.

f.

You have the right to get help. - Think about the adults who can help and the adults who will listen to you.

1.

At home, at college or at workplace if any man tries to make sexual advances, be strict right from
the beginning and tell him that you do not like it. Run away from him or at once shout for help.

2.

Anonymous obscence telephone calls fall under non-cognisable offence under the Section 115 (2)
of Criminal Procedure Code. When such calls are received regularly, a written complaint may be
lodged with the police who will inform MTNL to trace the call. You can also complain in writing to
Divisonal Engineer in charge of your exchange, who can trace the caller and take the necessary
action. If the perpetrator continues to make obscure calls, his telephone will be disconnected under
Rule 427 of Indian Telegraphic Act.

3.

The mother should not leave the custody of the girl to a single man. The person may be
trustworthy, but his sexuality may not be.

4.

The mother should establish a good communication and friendly relations with her daughter, so that
she is free enough to disclose her love affair, or sexual abuse. The parents should make her feel
that she will be loved and supported in any odd circumstances. Many girls do not inform their
sexual abuse to their mother merely because they feel that it is their fault too, and that the mother
would scold them for the same.

5.

Boys and girls should be given sexuality education so that the girls will be able to protect
themselves against the possibility of rape by learning self defence, by assessing the situation that
may be dangerous and by assertivness skills. The boys too will learn that sexual abuse is a
punishable crime, and will reliaze their responsibilities and will refrain from sexually abusing the
girls.

Rape
Rape is a forced sexual intercourse with any woman under the age of 16 years or above that age against her will,
without her consent, or with her consent when the consent has been obtained by puttig her in fear of death or hurt or
under the influence of drugs. Rape is a serious crime. Any woman can get raped young (including children) old,
attractive, ugly, well dressed or provocatively dressed.
The effects of rape are very many and severely traumatic. Nightmares, insomnia, loss of appetite, extreme fear,
anxiety, anger, loss of trust, phobias, sexual problems, feeling of worthlessness, feeling unsafe are some of the
common reactions of rape. There is general sense of crisis. In the society, there is a tendency to blame the survivor
(victim) rather than the perpetrator.
The marital sex may also be affected. The survivors of sexual assault needs reassurance and encouragement from
someone close to her; assurance that she is still loved and accepted and that she is not a criminal. It is the rapist who
has committed a crime and not she. In many circumstances, it is hard to prevent rape.

However, some guidelines of rape prevention adopted from New York City Advisory Task Force on Rape are
mentioned below. Be aware of your environment at all times. Trust your instincts when they tell you, danger is
here. Dont even be afraid or embarrassed to make a scene or draw attention to yourself if someone is threatening
you. Be especially alert when you are sick or tired or have taken alcohol. Have a positive mental attitude, I can
succeed, I am strong and powerful. Be aware of your rights: I have a right to say NO. I do not have to follow
another persons orders. I have a right to be where I want without harassment. Be aware of the dangerous places
in your life. Think about your options at home, on the street, at work, at play.
Where could you go for help? Would some one be near enough to hear your scream? Be alert in badly lit area, in
elevators, with groups of people you dont know well. Dont be afraid to change your plans or your directions if you
sense danger. Being rude is better than getting raped. Public restrooms should be used with caution. It is best to
have someone accompany you. Never accept a ride from a stranger. Young people should tell their parents
where they are going, with whom they will be and when they will return.
If late in getting home, they should call and let parents know that they have been detained. Shortcuts through
deserted areas, vacant lots or abandoned buildings should be avoided. Walk to and from the school/college with
friends if possible. Discuss with parents any incident which is disturbing or confusing, even if it seems
embarrassing. Parents should exercise care in selection of baby-sitters. Baby-sitters should also know something
about the families for whom they baby-sit.
Women particularly need to be aware of situations that may lead to violent sex and of people who may put them in
those situations. They also need to learn ways of avoiding or dealing with pressures and threats to have sex. Here
are certain tips given in the School Health Education Programme prepared by WHO and UNESCO in 1994. Be
assertive. Avoid lonely spots. Do not go to persons room if no one is at home. Do not accept money or
presents from people not so known to you. When someone suggests having sex and you dont want to, leave with
a friend, move to where there are other people or phone someone if phones are available. When someone
becomes physical and tries to force you to have sex, scream; fight; kick in the testicles if you can; get away quickly;
delay; bargain depending on the situation (if your life is threatened or a weapon is used).

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) were previously known as venereal diseases. This is a group of diseases that
are passed from one person to another through sexual intercourse. Some of them are curable if the treatment is
started soon; while some being of virus origin are not curable. Some limit locally, some mutilate the natural anatomy
of the sex organs, while some spread throughout and destroy every organ in the body.
Earlier there was a saying, A moment with Venus and life time with Mercury, when mercury salts were used for the
treatment. The scene has changed since the introduction of Penicillin and other antibiotics, However, one does not
know which disease the person will catchcurable or incurable. The best way would be to avoid the risk by having
only one sex partner by not soliciting sex workers (prostitutes), and if at all inevitable, to have protected sex (e.g., use
of condom).
Going to public latrin or using utensils and clothes of an infected person does not cause STD. The only way is
through sexual contact. The difference between the other diseases and STDs is that the other diseases catch you
without warning, while you go and catch STDs on your own. It is not uncommon for boys to try once and once only to
take an experience of what the charm of sex is like.
Or the youth who intends to get married in near future would like to test himself whether he can do the act of
intercourse successfully or not. But his one single experience can prove to be disastrous and shocking. The disaster
is not only of getting on STD but also of the successive events that occur. He being a novice to the red light area, with
a pounding heart he looks around repeatedly to exclude any familiar face and he quickly makes an entry into the
den.
The woman in front undresses herself and asks him to finish the act quickly. To his surprise, he finds that his penis is
loose still. Even if he gets erection, he ejaculates soon. While he dresses up, seeing his penis the sex worker passes
a casual remark, Only this much? He comes out dejected and depressed. What he had thought to be a heaven
turns out to be a hell. He goes from piller to post trains and from quacks to eminent specialist for his treatment. Why
this happens so? The reasons are many.
Sexual response is not a vountary action, but is an autonomous, situational reflex response. The fear of detection, the
fear of infection, the fear of performance, the fear of failure and the fear of morality, all these fears create tension. To
add insult to injury is the dirty, dingy place of the sex worker, her attitude of here and now and the greed for money.
Everything sums up in his mind and culminates into loss of erection or premature ejaculation. The fear, shame, guilt,
hatred remain. These are antagonistic to the erection of penis in later times. All this is in addition to a STD or HIV
infection. Even if he does not get a STD/HIV, he lands up into a psychological condition called Venerophobia, an
obscession of catching a venereal disease, no matter even if all the investigation reports are normal.
The story does not end here. He is afraid to get married, thinking that the episode will recur and his wife would hate
him for his impotence. All this could have been prevented only if he had resisted that single attempt of going to the
sex worker. Sex is not something that clicks at the spur of the moment. It is not merely the union of penis and vagina.
It requires love, romance, privacy, clean and pleasant surrounding, an interested and interesting partner, foreplay, a
healthy body and a healthy mind. Again the first few experiences of sex are as in probationership, for learning by trial
and error.
The following is the list of some of the commonly known STDs.

1.

Syphilis Syphilis is the king of STDs. It can make the person premanently disabled. If not treated in time, it
can affect brain, heart, eyes, ears, bones, joints, liver, practically every organ in the body. The disease may
be transmitted to children through the mother. Syphilis progresses in 3 stages. The first stage begins at the
time of intercourse with the infected person. The germs enter through the surface of mucus membrane
covering the glans of the penis or of vagina. This not so tough covering; wetness present there and the
minute cracks developed during the intercourse, facilitate the entry of germs.
After a period of two to four weeks a button like and painless ulcer called chancre is developed at the site
of entry of the germs. The skin is resistant to the entry of germs unless there is a crack that makes the entry
of germs easy. That is how a syphilitic ulcer may be seen on the scrotum. A male can be identified as
suffering from syphilis by seeing the chancre, while a female cannot be identified as suffering from the same
if she develops chancre in her vagina, where it is not visible. Therefore, the person having sex with such
infected female is unaware that he will be infected by syphilis.
The ulcer heals within a week even without any treatment. Patient feels that he has recovered on his own,
but disease progresses to the second stage. The second stage begins after six to eight weeks of the
exposure. By then the germs have spread all over the body. The infected person gets a copper coloured
rash all over his body. He gets fever. The lymph nodes get enlarged. Ulcers are formed in the mouth. He
complains of aching of bones, loss of hair and swelling of the testes. These symptoms too disappear and the
patient progresses to the third stage of the disease. The third stage of syphilis begins anytime after two to
twenty years.
All the organs wherever the germs have settled, get destroyed. The patient lands into a heart problem or a
blood vessel disease, blindness, deafness, paralysis or madness. Such infected person may pass the
infection to his wife, who when pregnant will infect her child. Such children are born dead or with blindness
and an ugly face.
There are individuals who may not be having any sign or symptom of syphilis. However, their blood
examination will indicate the presence of the disease. The blood test done to diagnose syphilis is called
V.D.R.L. (Veneral Disease Research Laboratory) Test. Syphilis can be cured completely if it is treated at an
early stage. Inj. Penicillin is the drug of choice. Both, husband and wife should be treated simultaneously.

2.

Gonorrhoea:The germs enter in through the urinary passage during the sexual intercourse with an infected
person. For a week after the exposure, there may not be any symptom. Afterwards the person complains of
burning urination. Pus comes out from the urethral opening and the glans of the penis becomes red. He gets
fever, retention of urine and joint pains. The infection passes into the seminal vesicle, prostate and testes.
These organs get swollen and painful.
The semen may be devoid of sperms leading to infertility. The urinary passage may become narrow leading
to difficulty in passing urine. If the female gets infection of gonorrhoea, she complains of burning urination,
pus discharging from urinary and vaginal passages, swelling and pain in labia majora due to infection in the
Bartholins glands.
The germs may pass into uterus, Fallopian tubes and ovary leading to infertility. The man may receive the
infection through a sex worker and may give it to his wife. If the pregnant woman has gonorrhoeal infection,
the germs pass to the eyes of the newborn during the childbirth and the child becomes blind. The infection
can successfully be treated if the treatment is taken early, fully and by both the partners. Inj. Penicillin or
Tab. Norfloxacin are the drugs of choice.

3.

Chancroid: The germs enter through the mucus membrane of the glans as in case of syphilis during the
sexual intercourse with the infected person. About a week later several painful, pus-discharging ulcers

appear on the penis. The difference between a syphilitic ulcer and a chancroid ulcer is that the chancroid
ulcer is soft, painful and are multiple.
The lymph nodes in the groin become painful and get enlarged. They get burst and discharge pus. Though
this disease is painful, it is not as harmful as syphilis or gonorrhoea, since the germs do not enter into the
blood. The female gets the infection while having sex with the infected male. She gets similar ulcers in the
vagina or on the vulva and gets enlargement of lymph glands. The drugs of choice are Sulpha and
Tetracycline.

4.

Herpes Progenitalis: The germs enter through the mucus membrane covering the penis. After a week or
so, there appears redness and vesicles filled with fluid, associated with burning pain and itching. The
vesicles break, form ulcers and heal within two to three weeks.
The lymph nodes in the groin get enlarged. After a quiescent period of a few months, the entire episode
recurs because the germs had travelled along the nerves to the spinal cord, had remained there in a
dormant condition and have come down to penis now. The recurrence of the disease is throughout life.
The infected person may pass on the infection to his wife and in return she may pass it to her baby during
the delivery. The baby is to be delivered by Caesarean section to escape the infection. Herpes progenitalis
being a virus infection does not respond to the treatment, though Acyclovir ointment and tablets are
supposed to attenuate the infection.

5.

Granuloma Inguinale (Donovanosis): This is an uncommon sexually transmitted disease. It is caused by

bacterial infection which grows slowly. It takes anytime from one to twelve weeks. An ulcer is formed on the
penis, on labia or in vagina. It bleeds easily on touch. The ulcer is painless, spreading and bright red. There
may be single or multiple ulcers. The ulcers heal with scarring. It may narrow the urethral or vaginal
passage. Septran, chloramphenicol or tetracycline are effective on this disease.

6.

Lymphogranuloma Venerium (LGV): It is caused by germs called Chlamydia. It is highly destructive

infection of lymph glands and surrounding tissues.The lymph glands become soft and form multiple
abscesses which open up and discharge the contents. The rectum becomes narrow. It is associated with
body ache, fever and chills. It is treated with septran or tetracycline.

7.

Venereal Warts: This is caused by virus. It grows in cauliflowerlike clusters and therefore also named as
Condylomata accuminata. Venereal warts are only transmitted sexually and are highly contageous. The
warts appear after 6 weeks to 6 months of exposure. If they are not treated, they multiply. The warts are
found on penis, urethra, anus, vulva, labia or in vagina. The warts are treated by application of Podophyllin,
by cauterization or by surgical excision.

8.

Candidiasis, Trychomoniasis, Non Gonococcal ure-thritis, Pubic lice, Hepatitis B (jaundice) are also
the diseases transmitted through sexual intercourse. There is a myth that the veneral disease gets cured if
the infected organ is rubbed against the genitals of a virgin girl. This has caused a number of inncocent
children suffer from STD and is simply terrifying. It is worth remembering that

1.

STDs are dangerous.

2.

Identification of STD by merely look of the sex organs of the female partner is not possible.

3.

A person when infected may not show any sign of STD for days.

4.

It is not possible to predict which STD a person will catch. One can have more than one STD at a
time.

5.

STD infection is possible only after having an intercourse (oral, anal or vaginal) with infected
person.

6.

STDs are not necessarily spread by sex workers alone. Any person having multiple sex partners
can get it.

7.

The toilet seat, clothes, utensils and soap used by the infected person do not spread the disease.

8.

Certain STDs could be cured, if prompt and cmplete treatment is taken. Persons feel shy to tell the
doctor; they hide the disease or ignore it, or resort to self medication. All these are dangerous and
delay the proper treatment.

9.

The best way of prevention of STDs is to avoid extra marital sexual relations.

Will too much of sexual relations with the same person lead to STD? The answer is NO, unless one of them receives
infection from the infected outsiders. STD infection is like Passing the Parcel game. You dont get it unless
somebody gives it to you, and then you give it to others. Some boys ask the question, I have been having a strong
desire for sex.
What if I use a condom and go to a sex worker?. The answer is Will you set the house on fire merely because the
fire station is at the next door?. The damage done cannot be anticipated. It is always better not to take a risk. Once if
you have experienced the pleasure of sex, you will be tempted to have it again and again. That apart, what about the
psychological trauma? Having sex out of wedlock is something like playing with a live bomb. It is highly risky. The
better way is to channelise your energy towards developing a hobby, taking part in sports and striving for an
excellence in it. If this sublimation does not relieve your sex tension, resort to masturbation as and when necessary,
but without feeling guilt, shame or fear about it.

HIV/AIDS

HIV is a short form of Human Immunodeficiency Virus. AIDs is an acronym for Acquired Immune Deficiency
Syndrome. This is also a sexually transmitted disease. HIV is the name of the virus that causes the disease. The
virus remains in the blood of the infected person. It grows there and is excreted out through the body fluids like tears,
breast-milk, saliva, semen, vaginal fluid etc. The blood, semen and vaginal fluids vaginal fluid etc. The blood, semen
and vaginal fluids are highly infective.
The breast-milk is also found to transmit the disease. The virus in the blood multiplies slowly and destroys the
defence system of the body by killing some types of white blood cells. The infected person looks normal for 2 to 10
years after receiving the infection. This is called HIV Infection stage. During this stage he looks quite normal, but is
capable of infecting others.
As the defence mechanism of his body gradually continues to collapse, the germs of the other diseases invade his
body, and he starts showing symptoms and signs.
Symtoms and Signs:
Infected person gets fever, headache, excessive perspiration, loss of weight, enlargement of lymph nodes, pain in
abdomen, diarrhoea, cough, weakness, ulcers in mouth, rash on the body, loss of hair, anaemia etc. He may suffer
from pneumonia, tuberculosis, Herpes, Kaposi Sarcoma or thrush. This stage is called AIDS. It is called Syndrome
because it is a group of symptoms of the diseases that attack him (i.e., not having fixed symptoms as in the other
diseases).
Transmission of Infection:

1.

Sexual intercourse: (homosexual or heterosexual): In the homosexuals the germs from the semen of the
active partner pass through the small cracks in the anus and through the mucus membrane of the passive
partner. In the heteroxexuals, the infection passes from the semen of the male through the mucus
membrane of vagina of the female.
If the female is infected, the infection from her cervix and vaginal secretions passes to the male through the
mucus membrane of the glans of his penis. Oral sex (stimulating genitals of partner by mouth) may lead to
infection with HIV.

2.

Blood transfusion: In major surgery like that of cancer or heart, the blood transfusion to the patient is
needed. Thalassemia patients need frequent transfusion of the blood. If the blood is collected from a person
suffering from HIV/AIDS and is given to the patient through the transfusion, the recipient gets the infection.

3.

Infected needle: The drug abusers circulate the same unsterilized needle in their group for injecting a drug.
If any one of them suffers from HIV infection, others get it through the needle.

4.

Mother to Child: During pregnancy and delivery the virus from infected mother passes to the child.
Diagnosis ELISA (Enzyme Linked Immunosorbant Assay) is a blood test done to diagnose HIV/AIDS
infection. If positive, then Western Blot test is done to confirm the diagnosis. When this too is doubtful, PCR
(Polymerase Chain Reaction) test is done.

There is no definite treatment for HIV/AIDS because it is of virus origin. Drugs like AZT (Azidothiamidine) Nevirapine,
Ritonavin etc if given in combination, can prolong the life of AIDS patient. The cost of the drug is prohibitive. The
patient has to choose between heaven and bancruptcy. Slowly the patients health deteriorates and the death only
ends the sufferings.
Prevention of HIV/AIDS
Since there is no treatment for HIV infection or AIDS, the preventive measures have a great value:

1.

Avoid sex outside the wedlock. Have sex with only one partner. Avoid having sex with an unknown person.
Avoid sex with the sex worker. Avoid homosexual contacts. Use condom when the circumstances are
inevitable.

2.

If blood transfusion is needed, the blood of a close relative should be collected. The blood should be tested
for HIV infection. The blood products like immunoglobulins, sera (plural of serum) should be checked and
confirmed to be free from HIV infection. (This is mentioned on the carton.)

3.

Unsterile needle should not be used. Insist on use of a disposable needle for injection when you attend a
doctors clinic. Use a disposable needle for pricking the ears or the nose of a child. Avoid tattooing of skin.

4.

If a woman is suffering from HIV/AIDS a contraceptive should be used to avoid pregnancy.

5.

Do not use tooth brush or shaving razors of thers. Insist on use of a new shaving blade when you visit a
barber.

6.

Do not handle blood unless you use gloves.

The following do not spread infection of HIV/AIDS

1.

Sneezing or coughing by AIDS patient.

2.

Using utensils or clothes of the AIDS patient.

3.

Touching, hugging, kissing, working together, shaking hands with the AIDS patient.

4.

Through swimming pools, toilet seat, tub, through sharing food or water.

5.

Through mosquito bites.

6.

Donating the blood. HIV/AIDS has become a tremendous threat to the entire humanity in this century.

HIV/AIDS awareness is the greatest need of the time. Anybody can get HIV/AIDS. Many are unaware of the fact that
HIV infection, can be transmitted by other means than intercourse. Those who do not have sexual relation with
persons other than the spouse feel unconcerned about HIV/AIDS. This is not correct.
Unknowingly one can get HIV infection through unsterile needles, unsterile instruments, blood products, blood,
tattooing or through ear or nose pricking. Therefore, we all are concerned in restricting the spread of HIV infection
and have got to take proper precautions to prevent the infection. It is also our responsibility to create awareness
amongst others about HIV/AIDS.

Health And Hygiene

Hygiene

A.

Bathe twice or atleast once a day, paying special attention to underarms and between the legs.

B.

Boys should retract foreskin of penis to remove smegma, a cheesy and illsmelling substance on the glans.

C.

Girls should separate the labia to wash vulva prior to washing of anus. Water from anus should not drain
towards vagina and urethra so as to avoid infection of these parts.

D.

Change the underwear daily. The underclothes should be made of absorbant, soft and porous material.
Nylon or terelene does not absorb the perspiration effectively and may lead to fungus infection of skin.

E.

Menstrual Hygiene for girls:

1.

Sanitary napkins or tampons should be used for absorbing menstrual flow.

2.

Sanitary napkins should be changed frequently depending upon the menstrual flow.

3.

Wash the genitals with soap and water before using a fresh napkin.

4.

Used sanitary napkin should be put in a paper envelope or plastic bag and thrown in the dustbin. It
should not be flushed in the toilet.

F.

5.

Soft cotton cloth folded to make a pad can be used in place of sanitary napkin. These are cleaned
with soap and hot water and dried for reuse.

6.

There is no harm in cooking, taking bath, washing hair, playing sports, or swimming.

Common rules of hygiene should be followed, such as:

1.

Wash hands with soap and water after using the toilet and also before and after handling the food.

2.

Do not eat road side food, food kept open and food dropped on floor. Use boiled water for drinking.

3.

Brush the teeth twice a day. Clean the mouth after every meal. Make a habit of brushing the teeth
with a mixture of bakeing soda and salt powder (equal amount) at night before retiring. It removes
acidity of food and prevents before retiring. It removes acidity of food and prevents decay of teeth.

4.

Do not use tooth brush, towel, razor or clothes belonging to others.

5.

Hold handkerchief while coughing and sneezing.

6.

Trim the nails every week.

7.

Do not spit, vomit or urinate on the road side.

8.

Do not throw garbage on the street.

9.

Do not use Kajal/Surma since these are not sterilized. 1

10. Hold the book 12 to 16 inches away from your eyes while reding.

11. Do not put bob-pin or stick in your ear. Cotton wich may be used or cleaning.

12. Do not kiss children mouth to mouth.

13. Do not allow insect or dust settle on the food, keep the food covered.

14. Do not put your finger in ear, nose, mouth or eyes.

15. Make a habit of going to toilet daily and regularly at a particular time.

16. Keep your home and surroundings clean.

17. Do not have sexual relations outside the marriage since there is risk of pregnancy, STD-HIV
infection.

Self-Examination of the Breasts:

Every woman should examine her breasts every month after her menstrual period is over. This enables her detect
any swelling is her breast. Swelling could be benign (harmless) or cancerous. The following technique should be
used:

a.

Stand in front of the mirror and inspect your breasts visually in the mirror with the arms relaxed on your
sides; then with hands on your head; and finally with hands on your hips pushing down, look for: Flattening

or bulging in either breast, Puckering of skin, Dimpling, Redness or One of the nipples drawn into the breast.
Squeeze the nipple to see any discharge.

b.

Lie flat on your back with left hand under your head. Feel every quadrant of your left breast using the flat
part of your fingers of right hand. Move your fingers in a circular manner. Cover the entire area of the left
breast.

c.

Repeat the same procedure to examine your right breast with your right hand under your head and by using
fingers of your left hand.

Nutrition
India's diet is well balanced as far as the food items are concerned, since it contains all the requirements like
proteins, carbohydrates, fats, minerals and vitamins, but their quantity is not balanced, i.e., we take more of
carbobydrates and fats but less of proteins, vitamins and minerals. That is why many Indians have a big belly and feel
tired soon.
The daily diet of adolescents should contain: Milk (or curds, butter milk) 4 cups Cereals (rice, wheat, ragi, maize,
bajara 3 katori Dal and Pulses (moong, bean, pea, soyabean 1 1/2 katori Green vagetables (math, chauli, methi,)
palak etc. 1 katori Fruit vegetables (tondli, bhendi, gawar, brinjal 1 Katori Roots and Tuber (potato, carrot, radish,
beatroot 60 gms Fruits: banana, apple, chikoo, mango 2 Jaggery/sugar 8 teaspoonful Oil/Ghee/Butter 8 Groundnuts
A handful. Egg, Fish/Mutton 60 gms (Vegetarians should take 1 cup extra milk instead). (Cup=6 ounches, Kaotri of
medium size=4 ounces).
The adolescents should discuss with their mother regarding the distribution of these food items and about variety in
their preparations. Though the total diet looks too much at a galance, it is easily digestable if judiciously distributed in
4 parts, tasty dishes are prepared, and a variety is introduced.
Exercise: The adolescents are highly impressed by seeing the muscles of body buildres and hence they resort to
bullworker, push ups, sit ups and weight lifting. The real aim of exercise is physical fitness, which is not fulfilled by
these excerises. Physical fitness depends upon the following:

A.

Cardio respiratory efficiency: This is most important. The heart and the lungs should function at their best.
Running, fast walking are the exercises for cardio-respiratory efficiency.

B.

Flexibility of joints: Yoga postures are the best to serve the purpose.

C.

Endurance and power of the muscles: These are required for manual workers for doing repetitive jobs
and for pushing or pulling of heavy objects like rice bags.

There fore, running/fast walking and yoga are important exercises for the adolescents. Swimming and "Surya
Namaskars" are also beneficial exercises. They should take interest in sports. Though sports do not fully satisfy the
requirements for physical fitness, sports have an entertaiment value also. It also teaches sportsmanship and the
ways to deal with "winning" and "loosing" in life.
Yoga and sports provide mental and phyical relaxation. Girls should not refrain from taking the exercise thinking that
they will develop thick muscles and lose their feminity. If girls feel shy to run on the road, they should do skippingon a
rope or running at one place at home.

Sexual And Reproductive Health

1.

Sexual health is a combination of physical, emotional, intellectual and social aspects of sexuality. This
should be in ways that should eurich personality, communication and love.

2.

A person should have capacity to enjoy as well as control sexual behaviour and reproduction according to
the personal and social ethics.

3.

He should not have fear, shame, guilt, false beliefs and any other psychological factors impairing sexual
relationship.

4.

He should be free from diseases and deficiencies that will interfere with reproduction.

5.

It should not cause disease trauma, torture or do harm to the partner.

6.

Sexual relationship before marriage and outside the marriage, sexual exploitation, sexual abuse, sex with
sex workers should be discoraged. It should not be coercive or exploitative.

7.

Teenagers should not engage in sex.

Reasons:

a.

Teenagers are not mature for sex.

b.

They need to be more responsible.

c.

The relationship is not sure at this age.

d.

Fear of unwanted pregnancy

e.

Fear of STD/HIV infection.

f.

Society, religion and parents do not want them to have sex.

g.

There are ways of expressing affection other than sex, e.g., giving a rose, a letter, a touch, a hng,
or a kiss.

h.

At an individual level sex is not absolutely essential for one's survival.

i.

The safer and acceptable means for the release of sexual tension is through noctural emission and
masturbation.

8.

Like all other parts the genitals should be kept clean.

9.

Teenage pregnancy is harmful to the mother as well as to the child.

10. A boy should get married before the age of 21 years. A girl should not get married before the age of 18
years. Postponement of marriage for further two years or more will be advantageous in many respects.

11. Marriage with a blood relative should be discouraged since may lead to genetic abnormality in the child.

12. A woman has a right to terminate an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy.

13. Termination of pregnancy (abortion) before 10 weeks is much safer than the termination done later. In
should only be done at an institution recognized by the Government. Termination of pregnancy after 20
weeks crime. If such woman does not want a baby, she can place it for adoption when born.

14. Abortions should not be used as a method of contraception, since it is not without risk.

15. When pregnant the woman should periodically consult the doctor at intervals for medical check up and
inform the doctor if she has pain in abdomen, giddiness, bleeding from vagina, breathlessness jaundice,
swelling of feet or face, headache, blurring of vision or fits.

16. Pregnant woman should

a.

Take nourishing diet containing plenty of milk, green vegetables, pulses, cereals, jaggery, roots,
fruits, eggs, fish and mutton (more of milk if vegetarian).

b.

Keep her body, breasts and genitals chean.

c.

Take two injections of Tetanus toxoid at an interval of one month.

d.

Avoid use of tabacco, alcohol, drugs and exposure to X-Rays.

e.

Take medicines only when advised by the doctors.

f.

Inform the doctor if any genetic abnormality in the fam ily, e.g., mental retardation Thallassaemia,
Haemophilia.

g.

Inform the doctor if she suffers from high blood pressure, tuberculosis or any other disease.

17. For postponement of pregnancy or for keeping a distance of minimum three years between two children the
man should use condom (Nirodh) or the woman should use pills (Mala D). A breast feeding mother should
use copper T (Tambi) to delay the next pregnancy.

18. STD/HIV infection in parents can result in death of their baby; therefore they should be checked for the
same before conception (preferably before getting married).

19. Girls should seek medical help promptly if they get foul smelling, itchy discharge or irregular bleeding from
vagina; or a swelling in the breast.

20. Men should seek medical help promptly if they get swelling in the testis, ulcer on the penis, pus discharging
from urinary passage, or swelling in the groin.

Skills for Adoescents

Adolescents need to develop positive social behaviour, such as self discipline, responsibility, good judgement and
ability to get along with other. Behaviour is learnt by observing others who are rewarded for the behaviour. Behaviour
should be positively reinforced than through punishment. Not only the requisite skill but also a clear sense of selfefficacy is required to perform the behaviour. Strong sense of commitment to other people and to the community may
be crucial in preventing anti-social behaviour.
Developing Self-confidence: People who are self confident, do better at school, get better job and have a rewarding
future. YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN. Every thing goes wrong with me; I am unlucky; nobody likes me
is a wrong attitude. Self confidence is often a key to success. Self confidence is not inborn. It develops (or thwarts)
during childhood and early adolescence. The pillars of self confidence are:

A.

Feeling Skilful You need not be the BEST just skilful. You can be skilful if you work at it. It is a matter of
trying and not giving up. Children are always terrified of failures. Therefore, they refuse to try. They need to
learn that its okay to fail at something, and that they should feel confident enough to bounce back and keep
trying. The child should know that failure is not the end of the world, and that parents still like him. To
achieve big success, children should start with small ones.

B.

Feeling appreciated We gain self confidence when we feel accepted, loved, listened to and supported by
other people.

C.

Taking responsibility The adolescent has to develop ability to make healthy decisions, take responsibility for
their actions, and be aware of their effects on others. Remember, self confidence is something that can be
developed.

Communication: Communication is the art of sharing information, feelings, attitudes and relating effectively to others.
It is the art of breaking the walls that separate the people and building the bridges that help the relationship to
flourish. Communication is necessary in human relationship. There are different forms of communication that include
verbal (a dialogue), non verbal (a smile or a touch), sign (waving a hand) and written (letter). Verbal and nonverbal
communications do not always convey the same message.
Many of the agreements or disagreements in the families and friends depend upon the good or poor communication.
Factors that improve communication:

Careful listening

Clear speaking

Making eye contact

Stating feelings

Trying to understand others point of view

Offering possible solutions to problems

Giving positive non verbal messages such as a smile

It is likely that the communication between parents and adolescents break down at this age instead of improving.
When the adolescents need their parents, they do not know how to communiate that need to their parents; and
perhaps parents too wont know how to begin to rebuild the relationship with their children.
Aspects of Communication Between Parents and Children:

1.

Understanding: Adolescents have a culture of their own. The parents cant be a part of that culture. The
culture gap can become a real wall between the parent and the adolescent. It is important for the parents to
understand their childs need for a special culture. The parents also have to choose the areas of
disagreement. If his choice of music, reading or TV programme is different, it is not worth disagreeing. Such

insignificant issues should not build a wall between the parents and the child. Appearance and dress are
similar issues and should not be protested. It may create misunderstanding.

2.

Timing: Scheduling a certain time each week to talk to the adolescent may be needed. Parents should act
as if they are looking forward to them and enjoy them. Such meetings should be informal. Adolescents
should feel relaxed and open up to their parents.

3.

Listening: The best way to understand the teenager and keep the communication open is to learn the
simple art of asking good questions. The child should not be put on a witness stand. The questions asked
should make him easy to answer.

4.

Feeling: Adolescents have feelings and their feelings are important to them. A good approach to expressing
any feeling, including anger, is to begin with, I feel..... rather than yelling at him.

5.

Touching: We communicate also through non verbal ways. One of the strongest forms of communication is
through touching. Touching is a powerful tool of communication. Touching helps provide assurance of love. It
is particularly effective after a conflict.
Negotiation: Negotiation allows people to solve a problem or resolve a conflict. It is a way to get ones needs
met without using guilt, anger or intimidation. It requires give and take on the part of both the persons.
Negotiation works best when a problem of conflit is addressed in its early stages. Many relationships and
sexual concerns can be resolved through negotiations.
Effective negotiation requires

1.

Careful observation of the other person

2.

Useof positive body language

3.

Good verbal communication

4.

Imagining oneself in the other persons position

5.

Identifying all options in a situation

6.

Reaching a mutual agreement

Most relationships have some conflict even if it is short lived. (A conflict is disagreement or a clash of some kind).
Some people get angry, defensive or aggressive when they are involved in conflict. When conflict is strong, people
may yell at each other, accuse each other, threaten each other, ignore or misunderstand each other. Therefore, it is
important to be able to get through the confusion and agner in a conflict; and solve the problem in a way that will be
satisfying to both sides.
The following Six-step Problem-solving Process offers a way to work through problems effectively by getting
answers to the following questions:
Step One: What is the problem and the resultant feel- ings?
Step Two: What questions need to be asked to clarify the problem?
Step Three: What are all the possible ways of solving the problem?
Step Four: Which alternative are unacceptable to some one involved?
Step Five: Which solution allows both sides to win if possible?
Step Six: How well did the solution work?
Decision Making
During that adolescence, young people begin making decisions that will have lasting effects on their lives. The issues
could be sex, drug abuse, alcohol, smoking or discontinuation of studies. The adolescents need the skills to make
healthy decisions. They receive several wrong, messages through advertisements in news papers and TV. These are
to be counteracted through positive decisions.
Our values affect the decisions we make. Adolescents have to identify values to make healthy decisions. They have
to accept the responsibility for making their own decisions. In addition, our decisions are motivated by the things we
need. A need is physical, mental or emotional requirement for survival and well being, e.g., food, clothing, shelter,
love, attention, respect. A need is not a want. A want is a desire for something we could live without, but that
appears to improve the quality of life, e.g., nice clothes, a good stereo, TV etc.
The Needs are:

l The need to survive: This comes first. Food, water, air, rest etc. are essential for survival.

l The need for safety: This is next important. We have to be physically and mentally safe and secured.

l The need to belong: Once we are assured of being alive and safe, there is a need for acceptance and
love.

l The need for respect: Once the above three needs are well met, we need recognition and respect. This
need has two parts: The need for self respect (thinking well of ourselves) and the need for respect from
others (others thinking well of us).

l The need to make the most of ourselves: We need to become as much as we can in life and develop our
potential through physical, mental, and emotional growth.

How to Make Healthy and Positive Decisions: People are not born with the ability to take wise and healthy
decisions. They learn through trial and error. It is possible by learning critical-thinking and decision-making skills.

1.

Step One: Identify the situation.

2.

Step Two: Look at alternative courses of action.

3.

Step Three: Consider the informatin you have. Examine the probable consequences (negative/positive).

4.

Step Four: Decide on the best possible course of action.

5.

Step Five: Evaluate the results of the decision.

Risk-taking decisions we make: There are decisions which are associated with different types of risks. Physical Risks:
Swimming, driving, drug, sex, hiking, mountain climbing etc. Legal: Stealing, running away, shop lifting, carrying a
weapon etc. Social: Revealing someones secret, criticizing someone etc.
Cross-cultural: Adapting a new culture, experimenting with new social behaviour etc. Why people take such risks?
For pleasure or thrill To prove yourself Possible benefits Experience of something new Out of commitment to
others To show off To achieve goal To gain approval Because of deep belief Remember, taking risks can lead
to both positive (e.g., a contest) or negative (e.g., smoking) consequences.
The best decision is one that:

Is consistant with ones values

Does not involve risk to ones health.

Does not involve breaking of law.

Does not have negative social implications.

Assertiveness
Assertiveness is communicating feelings and needs while respecting the rights of others. You are assertive when you
stand up for your personal rights without putting down the rights of others. Everyone has rights. It is alright to tell your
feelings and needs. Assertiveness is a skill and can be learnt and improved. Most women are not assertive in our
culture. Both men and women should be assertive.
People always have the right to refuse any persons request for any type of sexual behaviour or use of alcohol,
tobacco and drugs. Successful persons are often assertive in their personal and work relationships. Sexual partners
need to communicate clearly about their needs and limits.
Behaviour that helps people to be assertive includes:

To be honest

To be spontaneous in communicating feelings and needs using assertive body language.

To speak for oneself

To take responsibility for ones feelings and needs.

Assertiveness is different from aggressiveness and passiveness.

Passive Assertive Aggressive

1.

Takes no action Stands up for his Stands up for his to assert his own rights without rights with no right.
putting down thought about the rights of other person others

2.

Puts others first Respects himself Puts himself first at his expense. as well as the at the expense of other
person others

3.

Gives in to what Listens and talks Overpowers other wants. others.

4.

Remains silent Expresses positive Gets his own goal, when something and negative but at the expense
bothers him. feelings. of others.

5.

Apologizes a lot. Confident but not Always pushy and pushy. never apologizes.

When a friend asks him her to buy whisky/cigarrettes/drug or have sex, he/she would respond in three ways. 1. Well,
I dont know... I dont think it is a good idea... we might get in trouble... (Passive response)
2. You dummy, dont you know we could get in trouble? (Aggressive response)
3. No, I wont feel right doing that. I dont want to get in trouble. Let us go and get a Pepsi instead. (Assertive
response) It is not just what you say, but also how you say to someone is important to let that person know that you
dont want to be pressurised. In assertive response l An I statement similar to I feel l A reason for saying No l A
suggested alternative l The person maintains an eye contact l Stands up straight l Speaks clearly l Sounds confident
Remember, Passive people are not respected, aggressive people are disliked and assertive people are respected
and they respect themselves. Advantages of being assertive: Can say No without feeling guilty Avoids arguing Has
better relationship Others will respect him Disagrees without being angry Feels better about himself Has respect for
himself
Seeking Help:

1.

People are faced with problems in life.

2.

Clothing, habits, mannerism, recreation, religious/social customs, choosing vocation or friends or a life
partner may pose problems and may lead to conflicts between adolescents and parents.

3.

Addiction to alcohol/drugs, money, violence, abuse, love, sex, health are some examples of problems that
may need help.

4.

Some solve their problems by themselves. Some need help from others. Some seek help from friends.

5.

Family members help each other to solve the problems. Family members who have communication with
their childern find it easy to solve problems. Some family members do not communicate or have angry
exchange of words. Then the adolescents withdraw from their parents. Old good; new is bad is the opinion
of seniors. Progress is possible in life only by changes. Every new generation learns from old generation
and tries to adjust. 6. When parents and childern cannot resolve the problem, a third person is required. If
parents cant help, one should ask help from a friends parents, teacher or a trusted adult.

6.

There are community agencies also that can provide help. Some agencies have a telephone crisis line (hot
line) so that people can talk about the problem to someone.

7.

Sometimes there are problems in the family that require professional help. Trained counsellors, sex
therapists, doctors, teachers, religeous heads, advocates, psychologists or psychiatrists may provide
necessary help.

8.

The services include counselling, medical aid, health and sex education, sex therapy, psychotherapy, legal
advice, family planning, adoption, foster care, loan, rehabilitation, care of unwed mothers, de-addiction, etc.

9.

It is difficult for people to admit that they need help. Asking for help is a wise decision. To seek professional
help can be a sign of strength.

Values In Sexuality

Values are strong feelings or beliefs about important issues in life. Values guide our behaviour and give purpose and
direction to our life. Different individuals have different values. Different families and different cultures have different
values. Values are influenced by traditions, religion, mass media, social and political situations.
Values help people decide how to behave and interact with others. Children learn values from their parents and other
family members, community, religious teachings, teachers and their peers. Parents want their childern to develop
values similar to their values. People who behave according to their values feel good about themselves. Values
influence decisions of an individual about sexual relationships, friends, money and work. Relationships are stronger if
the two individuals share similar values. Values are taught to children by giving example.

Children many change their values later in life depending upon their education, personal experience, social changes
and scientific advances. Working women, intercaste marriages, limited family size, gender equality are some of the
positive changes in the value system.
Values in Sexuality:

1.

Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of living.

2.

All persons are sexual.

3.

Sexuality includes physical, ethical, psychological and emotional dimensions.

4.

Individuals express their sexuality in varied ways. People should respect and accept diversity of values and
beliefs about sexuality that exist in a community.

5.

All sexual decisions have effects and consequences.

6.

Sexual relationships should never be coercive, exploitative or lead to ill health.

7.

Sexual relationship is associated with honesty, equality, responsibility and social acceptance.

8.

Premature involvement of sexual behaviour poses risks.

9.

Abstaining from sexual intercourse is the most effective method of preventing pregnancy, sexually
transmitted diseases (STD) and HIV/AIDS infection.

10. The society as well as children are benefited when they discuss sexuality with their parents, teachers or
other trusted adults.

11. No discrimination should be made on the basis of sex, culture, language, religion, caste or colour.

12. Love is different from infatuation.

13. All children should be loved and cared for.

14. Men and women are equal, but they are different in respect of their sexuality.

15. Men and women are not OPPOSITE sexes, but COMPLIMENTARY sexes.

16. Menstruation is not a curse but a boon for motherhood.

17. Nocturnal emission (in boys) and masturbation (in girls) are natural sexual outlets.

18. Virginity is in the mind, not between two legs.

19. Sex organs and their functions are natural and not dirty.

Family And Friends

Making Positive Friends

We all need friends. Friendship is important throughout life. Friendships are necessary for most people to feel good
about themselves. Friends spend time together to know each other well. Friends can be either male or female. Young
people are benefited from interacting with many friends of both genders.
Group activities give them opportunities to learn about other without awkwardness or embarrassment. Friends play a
vital role in adolescence as they begin to transfer some of their emotional dependence from their parents to their peer
group. The peer group helps adolesents develop identities separate from families by providing support, friendships

and an arena for practising social skills. The peer support and peer pressure could be at times harmful. These are
key factors in adolescents experimentation with tobacco, alcohol and drugs.
Peer pressure can also be a positive force. It helps socialization. The stronger the peer pressure against misconduct,
the more the adolescent refrains from misconduct. Peer pressure can also lead to work for good grades and get
along well with the parents. Adolescents also need to know how to pick out the qualities of friends honesty, loyalty,
humour, sincerity, acceptance, common interests, etc. Friendship is also a give and take process. For close
friendship, one has to offer love, time, energy and commitment to others.
Peer Pressure
Adolescents may be so eager to be liked by their peers that they are willing to let their friends decide things for them.
That is called peer presure. Peers may pressure them to do something what they do not want to do. Their friends
may try to get them to lie to their parents, to be unkind to others or experiment with drugs or sex.
ends may get them into trouble to serve their own needs. Adolescents should be careful that their friends do not use
them. Learn to say No A simple straightforward, No, I dont want to or, Sorry, I cant be an effective way of
handling peer pressure. If the adolescent practises this alone in his room, he may find courage to say it aloud when
he needs it. This is not a rude or aggressive reply. He has his right to say No. An important part of friendship is
doing things together and learning skills from one another.
takes courage and practice to be open with one another. Practice will help to learn whether a person is worthy of
trust. People dont always deserve the trust placed in them. We learn by trial and error. Adolescents have to examine
the qualities of positive and negative kinds of friendships and have to learn ways to change negative relationships.
Positive Negative Enjoys doing things to help Likes to break the rules. others.
Concerned more about the Wants to be seen with the people than material people who have status. posessions.
Study/work together. Tells others that stydy/ work is not important. Looks for persons good Feels superior to others
and qualities. puts others down.
Ways to change negative relationship:

l Try to talk the problem over and create a positive change.

l End the relationship.

l Let the person know that you are concerned about the problem.

Friendly reminders about friendship: l To have friends, you have to be a friend. l Make time for friends. Friendship
means thinking about others, not just yourself. l A real friend is honest, open, and willing to take the good times with
the bad. l A real friend doesnt say, I'll be your friend if..... Real friends wont push you to do something that you
know is wrong for you. l Wanting friends is not merely to make us feel less lonely. Real friendship means giving,
caring and doing for others without expecting anything in return. FAMILY A family could be large and extended or
could be of two people. In family the people different generations got of live together, love, care and help each other.
The needs that family provides are: l Food, shelter, clothing l Love, support l Guidelines for proper ways to behave l A
setting for handing down traditions and culture l Formations of values and beliefs l Refuge from the world outside the
home. The family unit is the childs most important teacher. Children learn by watching what the family members do.
Though the child learns some of the values in the school, from friends, or from TV and movies, part of the value
system is definitely learnt from the family. The family members might not have talked to their children about the
values, but children learn by watching and imitating the family members.

Therefore, parents have a responsibility to make certain that they teach the right kind of values and that their children
understand the values. Glue together A family needs to be glued together. Sitting together for the dinner or a family
vacation or having a common hobby or working together will help to glue together. This provides a kind of
environment where a young teenager feels a sense of support, identity and love. Discipline Discipline is the
fundamental concern of the parents about their children.
Force in implementation of discipline does not work especially with the teenagers. What really controls them is not the
authority but the respect for the authority. Parents should set the limits and spell out consequences for misbehaviour
and follow through immediately if such misbehaviour occurs.
Consistancy :Parents have to establish certain ground rules on the issues that are bound to come up as years
progress, e.g., friends, family chores, music, clothes, sex, alcohol, drugs etc. Parents have to develop a consistent
position on important issues. Children will realize that there are clear, firm family rules and limits. This can prevent
problems.
Expectations In communicating the expectations to their children, the parents should think in terms of three basic
principles. l To develop a set of expectations that are appropriate to the childs abilities. l To check with their child what
his/her own expectations are l To communicate parents expectations clearly; and not to make their child guess.
Strengthening family relationship As the peer influence increases, the family influence decreases. However, peer
relationship does not interfere with family ties. In fact strong family bonds prevent adolescents from peer pressure for
alcohol/drug abuse sex.
A good parent-adolescent communication leads to better ability to cope up with problems and to adopt necessary
changes. Healthy families make each other feel wanted and important. They are sensitive to each others needs.
Family plays an important role as a source of values, ethics and motivates them to make healthy decisions.
Adolescents should respect parental authority and take guidance for their positive development. They should respect
and appreciate cultural differences in the families. All families experience conflicts. The ideal family is seen only on
TV. Guidelines to adolescents No matter what the family problems may be, the families are to be appreciated for love
and support. There are many potential sore spots between parents and their children, e.g., money, clothes, hair,
homework, friends etc.
The rules for getting along with their parents are:

1.

Adolescents cant get every thing they want, There are other people in the world besides them.

2.

Let others have their ways sometimes, especially with the little things.

3.

Show a little sympathy.

4.

Make a sincere vow to say Thank you to family members.

5.

Do something nice for the family members at least once a week.

6.

Never do anything to betray the trust of the parents.

7.

Make a few agreements in advance to avoid arguments.

8.

Ask advice from parents now and then on something big enough to make them feel important.

9.

Learn to talk and listen.

10. Learn how to disagree. Learn how to compromise.

11. Conflicts in the family are normal. Create more sunshine than thunder.

12. Everyone in your family deserves respect just like you.

13. Everyone in your family needs love, kindness and appreciation just as you.

14. Always be honest. It is the best way to build trust in your family.

15. To build good relations with parents, brothers, and sisters, begin by putting yourself in their shoes. Treat
them as you would like to be treated.

16. All families have their good qualities.

Focus on the good things in your family. When children are wrong, the parents have a right to expect apology; and
when parents are wrong, their children have the same right.

Birth Of A Baby

Pregnancy During the intercourse the male ejaculates semen in the vagina of the female. Semen contains millions of
sperms. The semen liquifies and sperms get activated and enter into the uterus through the os (mouth) of the cervix.
They further travel through the uterus into the fallopian tubes by wagging their tale. If ovulation (release of ovum by
the ovary) has taken place, and if the ovum is present in one of the fallopian tubes the sperms surround it.
Every sperm tries to enter in the ovum by hitting its head to the covering of the ovum. Only one succeeds in getting
into it. The tail of the sperm is left out and its head and the body fuse into the ovum. This process of fusion is called
fertilization. It means the pregnancy has occurred. The remaining sperms die and disintegrate.

Signs of Pregnancy

1.

The woman misses her period because the endometrial lining of the uterus is to be preserved for the growth
of the already lodged fertilized ovum. This is the first sign of pregnancy. If the woman had no sexual
intercourse in that month, then the missing of the period may not mean pregnancy. The delay may be due to
anaemia, illness, emotional stress or hormonal imbalance.

2.

Some women start getting nausea and vomiting, more in the morning. This is known as morning sickness.
Some do not have morning sickness. This is not a sure sign of pregnancy. Morning sickness may begin as
early as a week after missing the period.

3.

The breast changes are seen after two weeks of missing the period. The breasts become heavy, the nipples
enlarge and become dark.

4.

A sample of urine is examined for pregnancy test. If positive, the woman is pregnant. This test is done after
two weeks of missing the period. There are more sensitive pregnancy tests which can be positive even after
two days of missing the period. These tests show the presence of Human Chorionic Gonadotrophic
Hormone produced by the chorion,a place of attachment of the baby to the uterus.

The fertilized ovum divides repeatedly and moves towards the cavity of the uterus where a bed is already prepared
by the inner lining of the fertilized ovum. The fertilized ovum gets implanted there. The seat of attachment becomes
Chorion and further develops into Placenta. The fertilization occurs on the 14th day, counted from the 1st day of
the last period.
Fertilized ovum reaches the uterus on the 17th day. It grows there further for 263 days and later comes out of the
uterus through the vagina. This process of childbirth is known as Delivery. The total duration of pregnancy is 40
weeks (nine calender months and a week).
Counting is done from the 1st day of the last period. The cells of the fertilized ovum divide, multiply and get
differentiated to form an embryo. The group of cells aggregate to form tissues and organs and develop into different
systems. In the 4th week of pregnancy, the spine, intestines and heart are formed. Brain and liver take shape in the
5th week of pregnacy; eyes and nose can be identified in the 7th week. In the 4th month the baby is seen floating in
fluid of the amniotic sac.
The sex organs also develop in the 4th month of pregnancy. The gonads (testes/ovaries) are fully developed in the
7th month. The testes descend in the scrotum by the 8th month. The length of the full term baby is fifty cms and its
weight is three kg. The baby lies upside down with folded hands and legs with curved back in the uterus, so as to
accommodate itself in the smallest place. The umbilical cord, a rope like two feet long tube connects the baby to the
mother. One end of the cord is connected to the placenta which is attached to the uterus and the other end is
connected to the navel (umbilicus) of the baby.
The child gets nutrition and oxygen from the mother through the blood circulation in the placenta and through the
umbilical cord. The unwanted products in the babys body are thrown out through umbilical cord and passed on to the
placenta. The placenta is as big as a bun and contains the network of blood vessels from the baby and the mother.

Exchange of food and gases takes place here. There is no mixing of the blood of baby and mother. The baby is
surrounded by half a litre of amniotic fluid. This fluid is for protection, maintenance of the temperature and for free
movements of the baby.
Can the intercourse be done during pregnancy? Yes if the woman does not get pain or bleeding and if there is no
history of repeated abortions. However, due care should be taken to avoid direct pressure of the man on the belly of
the woman.
Delivery The woman delivers after 280 days (40 weeks) from the 1st day of her last period. She gets pain in the
abdomen. The uterus contracts. There is a slight blood stained discharge through the vagina. The cervix of the uterus
dilates. The amniotic sac ruptures. This is the first stage of the labour. This stage takes about eight hours in the
primipara (first delivery).
The second stage of the labour begins when the cervix is fully dilated and the baby is being pushed down by the
contractions of the uterus. The uterus, the cervix and the vagina become a continuous canal. It takes about two hours
at the first delivery for the baby to slide down and come out. On subsequent occasions it would take a few minutes.
First the head comes out of the vagina, then the facte, shoulder, body and legs come out along with the umbilical cord
and a little amniotic fluid. The umbilical cord is ligated and cut, taking aseptic precautions and the baby is separated.
The uterus continues to contract, and the third stage of the labour begins. The remaining umbilical cord along with
placenta and amniotic sac come out in about 10 minutes and the delivery gets over. If a baby is born before 36
weeks, it is said to be premature. Babies born after 30 weeks of pregnancy can survive only if they are given special
medical care. Is the delivery very painful? It is the ancestral tell tale story that creates anxiety and more pain. Delivery
is a body function. Nature helps in every respect. If pregnant woman understands and learns how and when to relax
and when to push down during the labour the pain will be reduced. This is taught in the special antenatal classes.
Twins
There are two types of twins. Binovular or fraternal and Uniovular or identical. Binovular twins are two children
born out of two separate ova. During one cycle, if two ova are released, they get fertilised separately by two sperms
(since there is no dirth of sperms). These two fertilized ova grow into two separate babies. Each is attached to a
separate placenta through an umbilical cord. The two babies are dissimilar in their appearance and are of the same
or different sexes. Genetically they are different.
In case of uniovular twins, the ovum gets fertilized with a sperm as usual and divides into two cells. These two cells
separate from each other and grow independenly into two babies. Since their origin is from a single ovum and a
single sperm, they are genetically similar and are of the same sex. They look very much alike and when in the
mothers womb, they are attached to one placenta through a separate umbilical cord for each.
Boy or Girl? The sex of the baby is determined at the tiee of the fertilization of the ovum. It depends upon the sex
chromosome of the sperm that fertilizes the ovum. There are two types of sex chromosomes, X & Y. Every ovum
carries X sex chromosome. In case of sperms some carry X sex chromosome and some carry Y sex
chromosome. Though the semen should contain fifty-fifty ratio carrying X and Y sex chromosomes, it does not
happen so. When the ovum and the sperm combine to form a baby, the combinations would be as follows: OVUM
SPERM BABY X + Y XY (Boy) X + Y XX (Girl) 5) The crave for a male child and a male dominant society should be
outdated with the advent of social, cultural and economic changes. The females have proved their ability in every
walk of life.
Female children should be given education and equal opportunities in life. Social awakening and social changes are
more important to change this wrong attitude. Happy to note that these changes are coming up, but slowly.

Family Planning

1.

Family planning is planning to have one's family at a time that is best for both, parent and the child. It is not
merely restricting members of the family, but also keeping reasonable age distance between two children,
antenatal care, premarital counselling, provision of sex education, prevention of unwanted pregnancies, and
also providing facilities for adoption. However, the meaning of family planning has reduced only to birth
control.

2.

"Contraception" means prevention of conception or pregnancy. Contraception enables people to have

sexual intercourse without unintended pregnancy. Contraception is useful for spacing between two children.
Three years of spacing is thought to be ideal. Any method used to prevent conception is called a
"Contraceptive".

3.

All children are loved. The aim of contraception is to have children as and when required.

4.

Decision about having children is based on income, accomodation, time, ability for responsible parenting
and personal wishes. Decide yourself how you want to plan your family. Do not anyone else decide for you.

5.

There are several different methods of contraception. Each contraceptive method has advantages and
disadvantages. The use of contraception and its method should be talked to the partner. While choosing a
contraceptive, people should consult their doctor to find out most suitable contraceptive for them. Once
chosen, the contraceptive should be used effectively and consistently.

6.

Safe and reliable contraceptive methods for preventing/postponing the pregnancy and for spacing between
two children:
(a) For males -- Condom (b) For females -- Copper T -- Pill Permanent methods of contraception are: (a) For
males -- Vasectomy (b) For females -- Tubal ligation There are several other methods of contraception, but
they are not reliable. Their failure rates range from 20 to 40 percent. These methods are: (a) Diaphram (b)
Foam (c) Withdrawal (d) Rhythm (e) Mucus

7.

A. Condom (Nirodh): It is a thin rubber sheath, to be used by males. It prevents sperms from entering into
vagina. It is placed over the erect penis before intercourse. After ejaculation, it should be held in place while
removing the penis so that the semen does not spill. It should not be reused. Condom is cheap and
effective. It also prevents STD/HIV infection. Effectiveness: 85to 95%
B. Copper T: This device is for the females. It is a T shaped plastic device with a thin wire of copper wound
round the vertical limb and two strings at its end. This is device inserted in the uterus and strings are left
hanging in vagina. It weakens the seprms and does not allow the fertilized ovum to settle in the uterus.
Pregnancy can occur after the removal of copper T. There are several myths about Intrauterine device like
copper T These are: " IUD causes bleeding" " IUD causes sterility" " IUD strings hort penis" " IUD gets lost
inside" Effectiveness: 95%
C. Pill: Pills are taken by female. Pills are known as oral contraceptive Pills contain female sex hormones. A
package contains 21 pills. One pill is taken daily for 21 stopped for seven days before starting the a new
package. The myths are: " Pill causes cancer" " Pill causes sterility" " Pill causes deformed babies."
Effectiveness: 95%
D. Vasectomy: It is a surgical procedure for permanent contraception and is also known as "Male
sterilization". It prevents sperms from enter into semen. It is a simple procedure. The Vas deferens is
identified, cut and ligated on both sides. Myth: Vasectomy causes impotence" E. Tubal ligation: This is
"Female sterilization." It is a prmanent method of contraception in females. It prevents sperms from meeting
ovum. A small incision is given on the lower abdomen. Fallopian tube A small incision is given on the lower
abdomen, Fallopian tube is identified, cut, and ligated on both the sides. A quick and simpler procedure of
tubal ligation is known as "Laperosopic strilization." A pencil thick instrument called 'Laperoscope' is inserted

in the abdomen near the navel of the female, fallopian tube is identified, its loop is picked up, and ligated
with a small ring. Myth : "Woman becomes at after the operartion"

8.

Abortion (Medical Termination of Pregnany): A woman has a right to terminate the unwanted/unplanned
pregnancy. M.T.P. should be done only at the government approved medical centres. Abortion upto 20
weeks of pregnancy is legal. Abortion is not a contraceptive method since complications like bleeding,
infection, shock, pain, infertility, perforation of uterus may occur. It should be used as a remedy for
contraceptive failure.
Pregnancy is ended by removing the baby from the uterus before 20th week of pregnancy. The procedure
depends upon the duration of pregnancy. Counting is done from first day of the last menstrual period.

9.

A.

Menstrual Regulatio (M.R.): This is done before 6 weeks of pregnancy. The lining of the uterus
along with products of conception is removed by gentle suction by a syring through a canula
passed into the uterus.

B.

Dilatation and Currettage (D & C) : This procedure is used for pregnancy of 7 to 12 weeks. The
contents of the uterus are removed by scraping with a spoon shaped instrument, currette".

C.

C. Vacuum Aspiration : This has replaced D & C. A thin plastic canula is introduced in the uterus
and the other end of the canula is connected to the suction apparatus, which aspirates all the
cotents of the uterus.

D.

D. Midtrimester abortion : This procedure is adopted when pregnancy is of 13 to 20 weeks.

Admission to the hospital is required. This is a painful and more risky procedure than the previous
ones. Prostaglandin or saline is given through the abdomen of the pregnant female causing labour
to begin. The uterus contracts and expels the baby out.

Which is the 100% effective contraceptive? The word, "No". Saying 'no' intercourse or abstinence is the only
100% effective contraception. Abstinence poses no risks, no cost, no side effects, no STD/HIV infection, and
no worry. Nonpenetrative sex i.e. sex without peno-vaginal intercourse can be a safe method of expressing
love and shaing pleasure.

Myths And Misconceptions In Sexuality

Why myths and misconceptions?

The reasons are simple. Sex is considered as obscene or vulgar; therefore there is secrecy. This leads to ignorance.
A strong curiosity develops during youth to understand the sexuality of self and of opposite sex. They turn to their
friends for information, who are equally ignorant. The friends tell them whatever information (misinformation) they
have. Since they can't dare to ask their parents or teachers, they turn to pornographic literature. They expect quacks
to solve their problems. The myths and misconceptions gahered are propogated from generations to generations.
Effects of myths and misconceptions:
Some of the myths are harmless, while many are responsible for: Anxiety overexpectations Fear Sexual dysfunction
Depression Marital disharmony Guilt Suicide Shame Homicide Victimization to quaackery

The following are some of the common myths and misconceptions:

Family Planning Abortion: Pill causes cancer. Numerous studies done show that pill does not cause cancer. Copper
T causes profuse bleeding. In some women the copper T may cause more menstrual bleeding, that too initially.
Otherwise copper T is harmless. Use of condom (Nirodh) interferes with sexual pleaure. -- The interference by
condom is minimum. The sexual pleasure does not only depend upon skin to skin contact, but also on love, foreplay,
intimacy and emotional involvement. Vasectomy leads to impotence. Impotence is due to decreased blood supply to
the penis and has nothing to do with potency. In vasectomy, the vas deferens is cut and ligated so that the sperms
are not expelled in semen.
Intercourse (Sex): Bleeing at first intercourse is the surest sign of virginity. Hymen is a thin membrane partially
closing the viganal entrance in a virgin woman. It ruptures at first intercourse causing slight bleeding and minimal
pain. However, this is not a rule, A girl may have been born without it, might have a lax hymen, or might have got it
broken by vigorous exercises or by manual penetrations during childhood. Hence all virgins will not bleed at first
intercourse. There is not test to prove virginity.
Different sexual postures and potions mentioned in ancient literature give immense pleasure in sexual act. Love,
respect, caring and sharing, mutual pleasuring are some of the needs for successful sexual act. Sexual postures do
not enhance sexual pleasure. Viewing them may attribute only to visual stimulation, but acting them out would be an
acrobatic. Sex is like food. Eating icecream in sitting, standing, sleeping or head down legs up position does not
change the taste of it. No portions have been scientifically proved to have properties of enhancing sexual pleasure.
Masturbation: Masturbation is harmful Masturbation is self gratification obtained through manipulation of genitals by
hand or other devices resulting in orgasm. It is a natural, normal and a harmless sexual outle. It is nothing to be
ashamed of or afraid of. It is not the activity by itself, but the guilt and shame associated with it that are harmful.
Kinsey studies reported that 93% men and 62% women practised masturbation at some point in their life.
Menstruation: A woman becomes 'impure' during menstruation. Bad blood is thrown out through the menstrual flow.
The inner lining of the uterus becomes thickened and gets prepared to lodge the fertilized ovum. It it does not arrive
the lining has no purpose and therefore gets disintegrated and thrown out. This process is "Menstruation" It is not
"bad" blood. Woman does not become "Impure" during menstruation. Menstruation is a process for motherhood.
Orgasm: Woman ejaculates during orgasm as man does. Woman does not ejaculate any fluid during orgasm.
Penis: A man needs to have a long, thick, straight penis to sexually satisfy his wife. Sexual satisfaction to a woman is
through love, respect, sharing and touch. Clitoris perceives erotic sensation and not the vagina. A woman perceives
sexual satisfaction int he surface organs of her vulva (clitoris, labia minora) and not deep in her vagina which is
insensitive. In man, erotic sensations are perceived through glans of the penis. Therefore there is no need of a long,
thick and straight penis for the sexual satisfaction of either a male or a female. A penis as long as little finger can
perform successfully the functions of fertility and pleasure.
Pregnancy, delivery, infertility: A woman can't get pregnant if : The intercourse is done in a standing position, The
man withdraws his penis before ejaculation, The intercourse is done only once, Certain seafood/medicine is taken
after the intercourse. These are not sure ways of preventing pregnancy. If the woman has an ovum (egg) in her
uterus and if the man drops a few sperms accidently on her vulva even once, she can get pregnant.
Once pregnant, no foodstuff or medicine can abort the embryo. A woman is responsible for giving birth to a female
child. If a sperm containing Y sex chromosome fertilizes the ovum, the child will be a male and if a sperm containing
X chromosome fertilises the ovum, the child will be a female. Therefore the sex of the baby depends upon the sperm
of a male. A woman is respondible for infertility. A man can be equally responsible for infertility as much as woman. In
10% of cases both are responsible. If a couple is infertile, the woman alone need not be held responsible.
Semen: Semen is a very vital and precious fluid. Every drop of semen is formed out of fifty drops of blood. Loss of
semen through masturbation/wet dreams causes weakness. Semen has no relation with blood. Semen is like any
other body fluid (e.g. saliva, tears, perspiration) meant for throwing out of body. Semen, like any other fluid in the
body, can not be stored. Throwing out semen being a normal activity, does not cause any harm or weakness.
Sex Tonics: Sexual weakness, impotence, prmature ejaculation can be treated with sex tonics. Most of the sex
problems are due to ignorance, misconceptions, overexpectations, fear, anxiety, depression, and marital disharmony.
It means the problem is in the mind than in the genital organs. Therefore te individuals need coundelling and sex

therapy rather than sex tonics. Some problems could also come up due to physical infirmity. In such cases the
individual is to be examined, investigated, diagnosed and then treated by the respective specialist. In such cases too
the sex tonics do not help. There are no drugs or sprays to improve or highten sexual performance. "Interested and
ineresting partner is the best sex tonic" say Masters and Johnson, Gurus in sexology. No one should go for sex tonics
or fall a prey to quackery.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases, HIV/AIDS: A person using public toilet gets sexually transmitted disease. STDs or
HIV infection are not transmitted through toilet seats. The germs do not thrive in open. They have to pass from one
human being to another for their survival. STDs can be prevented by taking a Penicillin injection after the intercourse
with a sex worker. There are twelve different diseases grouped under STDs. Some of these diseases are curable with
Penicillin some are curable with some other drugs; while some have no treatment. It is difficult to anticipate which
STD the sex worker will pass on to her client. Use of condom can prevent STDs to a certain extent.
The best way to prevent infection of STDs is to avoid having sex with a sex worker. HIV/AIDS is spread by
homosexuals: HIV/AIDS is spread by homosexuals as well as heterosexuals when one of the partners is infected.
Vagina: Women insert long bojects like banana or cucumber in their vagina for sexual gratification. Not true. Since
men do not have vagina, they can't perceive its sensation. There is no perception of erotic sensations in the vagina
as on penis. The homologue of penis in the man is clitoris in the woman. Therefore no woman would get sexual
gratification by inserting any object in her vagina.
The urine and the menstrual blood are passed out through one and the same passage in the females. No, these two
passages are different. The urine is passed out through a small outlet called 'Urethra', situated midway between
clitoris and vagina. The menstrual flow is thrown out through a passage called 'Vagina' situated at the lower end of
the vertical cleft. This passage, though wider than urethra, can hardly admit a finger in a virgin woman. However it
has tremendous capacity to widen, and can deliver out a baby's head that has a circumference of 35 cms.
Miscellaneous: Gays (homosexuals) can be identified by their looks They look like any other person. They are
different in their sexual orientation, which is not visible. A woman has sex desire ten times more than that in the man.
The hormone that stimulates sex desire is Testosterone, which is much abundant in males than in females. The
hormones produced by females are useful for menstruation, pregnancy and lactation.
Research shows that women are interested more in love, romance and motherhood than sexual intercourse. It is
necessary to match the blood groups of man and woman if they wish to get married. It is not the blood group but the
Rh factor in the blood that is important. If the woman is Rh negative and if the man is Rh positive, then there is
possibility that their second child may not survive. A simple solution for such problem is to give an injection of Anti D
Immunoglobulin to the woman immediately after her first delivery (or abortion).
Matching the blood groups should not be a major issue in selection of the marriage-partner. Hysterial in a woman is
due to sex starvation. Marriage is the only solution. It is psychological conflict and not sex starvation that causes
hysteria. A guidance and treatment by a psychiatrist and not the marriage that is solution. A mentally ill patient should
not get married until the psychiatrist permits. Marriage of any mentally ill person may terminate into marital
disharmony and divorce.
Society And Sexuality

Society and cultural environments shape the way individuals learn about and express their sexuality. Every culture
communicates norms and taboos about sexuality. Culture formulates its own sexual code. The differences in various
sexual ethics are great. What is considered acceptable in one culture might be considered perverted in another.
Issues like masturbation, homosexuality, virginity, premarital and extramarital coitus are evaluated differently in
different cultures. From early age boys are helped with masculanity and girls are taught to cultivate a submissive
feminity. Every society calls these socially defined gender roles natural, eternal and unchangeable.
The truth is that human desires and capacities have a tendency to go beyond the natural limits of our traditional
gender roles. All social authorities make a constant and combined effort to keep this tendency under control. One of
the significant social changes to occur in recent years is the emergence of women toward a position of equality. Most
women are unwilling to accept the notion that women and men should be subjected to different sexual standards.
They feel that pleasure and restraints should be equally applicable to both sexes.

The influence of peer group and the sexual imagery found on TV programs also influence attitude formation in young
people. Young women grow up believing that attractive appearance is the key to recognition, while young men learn
that physical power and success are the indicators of male desirability. By accepting these warped manifastations of
masculinity and feminity, young people often get caught up in vicious cycles of self-defeating behaviour. The media
have a profound effect on the sexual information values and behaviour. Not all that is projected in film, on TV, in
books and magazines, and on radio should be taken as the whole truth.
Nowadays, TV and films show violence and non-penetrative sex in abundance. These and other media often present
an urealistic or negative image of what it means to be male or female, what it means to be in love, and what marriage
and parenthood are like. The media can influence the way individuals think and behave. Therefore, it is important to
communicate ones reactions to the media about portrayal of sexual issues. Religious beliefs greatly influence
peoples sexual attitudes. The influence of religion has at times been negative and detrimental. It is not the religion
itself that influences sexual behaviour, but sex-related guilt and anxiety built up in certain individuals as a result of
religious training.
Considering several influences that shape the sexuality of an individual a great variance in the sexual attitudes,
values and behaviour in different individuals is obvious. Individuals have to demonstrate tolerance for the people with
different sexual values and lifestyles. Every individuals right to hold different opinion is to be respected. Everyone in
born male or female. Society and culture teach what is to be man or a woman.
Boys and girls have many similarities and few differences. Boys and girls share equal talents characteristics,
strengths and hopes for their future. There are no jobs that are only for boys or for girls. Almost all adult jobs and
careers are open to men and women. The massages how boys and girls should behave are received by them from
their family, friends, media and the society. Attitudes about proper behaviours for men and women differ among
families, culture, and individuals. Boys and girls can be friends and respect each other. They can study, play or work
together in groups. This is a healthy attitude in a mixed society.
Social problem related to Sexuality:

1.

Infertility: A woman is usually blamed and looked down upon for not being able to give birth to a child. The
cause of infertility could be in the males as much as in the females; or could be in both. Many infertile
couples resort to religious rituals only to experience disappointments. Adopting a child is the surest way to
become parents.

2.

Teenage/Premarital Pregnancy: Surveys have shown that many teenage girls and unmarried girls become
pregnant because they were ignorant about the fact that the act they involved was an intercourse that would
lead to pregnancy and that only girls have to face the wrath of the society.

3.

Hymen: Presence of hymen in a virgin woman is given undue premium. Since time immemorial the newly
married groom has shown pride in seeing bleeding from ruptured hymen on first wedding night. Absence of
bleeding may be concluded as adultry and may lead to marital conflict or divorce. Presence of hymen is
ambiguous and is not the sure sign of virginity. In fact, there is no definite sign of virginity either in the male
or in the female. Virginity is in the mind and not down there between two thighs.

4.

Gender Discrimination: The birth of a female child is not so welcome as that of a male. The female child
receives a second grade treatment throughout her life in matters such as education, nutrition, job
opportunities, pay and health care facilities. She is conditioned to be submisseve, non-decisive and
dependent.

5.

Amniocentesis and female foeticide: Examination of amniotic fluid from pregnant mother to detect the sex
of the foetus (Amniocentesis) and aborting the same if female, is a criminal act.

6.

Horoscope matching for marriage: There is no scientific evidence proving the credibility of horoscopematching for marriage. Such marriages may or may not be happy. Though there are no perfect methods for
selection of a partner, the horoscope-matching should not be entirely relied upon.

7.

HIV/AIDS: The highest price man has to pay for his sexual lust is death through HIV/AIDS. There is no cure
for this disease. Education and prevention are the only ways out.

8.

Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse mostly of women and children are ghastly, cruel and inhuman acts. All
individuals are equal and everyone should be treated with dignity and respect. The culprits of sexual abuse
should be strictly dealt with.

9.

Pornography: Pornography and blue films depict perversive sexual behaviour and may bias the minds of
adolescents leading to false beliefs and wrong attitudes in them.

10. Quackery: Sex tonics are myths. Quacks take advantage of the ignorance of the people and exploit them.

11. Child Marriage: In some some parts of India the child marriages are still in vogue. Teenage parenthood is
harmful for the parents as well as to the child.

12. Dowry: Many young women fall victims to the social evil of dowry. They are tortured, deserted or killed.

13. Devdasees: In some cultures the female child is married to God or given to Godess to fulfill the vow by the
parents. The female when grown up finds no way out other than prostitution.

Conclusions:

1.

Many of the problems are due to cultural traditions.

2.

Many of them are based on ignorance, myths and misconceptions regarding sexuality.

3.

Most of them indicate exploitation of and atrocities against women.

4.

Cultivation of values like gender equality, freedom, respect for others, legal restrictions and education
(including sexuality education) could be the solution to minimise the problems.

Questions And Answers

.: My boy friend has kissed me. Will I get pregnant?
A. : No. For the pregnancy to occur, the semen of a man has to fall in the vagina of a woman.

Q.: Will menstruation cause anaemia?

A. : No. the loss is compensated soon.
Q.: I get frequent wet dreams. how to stop them?
A. : It is natural. A wet dream is like a safety valve of the cooker. You do not need any treatment. It will be less when it
finds an alternative vent, like masturbation or marital sexual intercourse.

Q.: When a boy gets sexually stimulated, he gets erection and ejaculation. What changes take place in a girl?
A. : Girl gets wetness in the vagina, but she does not ejaculate any fluid at the time of climax.
Q.: Does celibacy lead to healthier life?
A. : There is no evidence that a celibate person lives longer and healthier life. On the contrary, married men like
Maharshi Dhondo Keshav Karve, Shri. Vishweshwaraiyah Pandit Satavalekar who lived for over 10 years and
achieved great heights in their life.
Q.: At what age the boys and girls should get married?
A. : Legally a boy of 21 and a girl of 18 can get married. Their bodies are mature by then, but their minds are not.
They might not be able to select partner judiciously at that age. Unless one completes the education, builds up a
career, enjoys economic independence by having a job/profession, able to afford a home for the family, has been
prepared for responsible parenthood, a marriage should not be thought of. This may be possible after 20 years for
girls; and after 23 years for boys.
Q.: My friend is married to a woman 5 years older to him. They say he may suffer from disease like T.B. or Cancer.
A. : It does not cause any disease. Only that his marriage is unconventional, hence criticised.
Q.: Is it necessary for boys to get an experience of sexual intercourse before marriage?
A. : No. In fact such attempt could prove dangerous since contracting STD, HIV infection or a failure in sexual
performance could be inevitable.
Q.: How to identify that the girl had an intercourse?
A. : Not possible. Why worry, the virginity and the character are in the mind and not between the two legs.
Q.: I am afraid to get married. Will it pain me when the penis goes in my vagina?
A. : No. The vagina is very expansile. A baby having its head-circumference of 35 cms comes out through the same
passage. The size of penis is nothing as ocmpared to it. Do you get pain while swallowing the food like a laddu?
Intercourse is as physiological as eating. It is not the penis but the fear and anticipation of pain that cause real
problem. Love and foreplay preceeding to the introduction of the penis relaxes and dilates the vagina.
Q.: Is the first wedding night most tittilating and memorable?
A. : No. it is a myth. On the other hand, it could be disappointing one. The reasons are many. Both, husband and wife
are novice to the sexual intercourse. Both are ignorant about the genitals and about the sexual act. Both are tired,
and therefore sex may not work. The first wedding night and the successive few nights are mant for understanding
each other. The expertise in sex performance is achieved by trial and error, since there is no avenue for guidance.
Q.: A friend of mine told me that the child is born from the naval (belly button). Another friend told me that the child is
brought from the hospital. Which is true?
A. : None of these is true. The child is born from the passage in between the two thighs of the mother, called vagina.
Doctors and nurses help the process of delivery in the hospital.
Q.: Is delivery a painful process to a woman?
A. : Not much. The great reward of motherhood makes a woman bear this pain. Delivery is a physiological process
found in all the mammals including human beings.
Q.: Is sex a Sin?
A. : No. This is the only natural way of reproduction in human beings, for prepogation of life. Sexual reproduction is
found in all mammals and in flowering plants. Sin is a man made concept. Responding to the nature cannot be a
sin.

Guidelines For Sex Education To Adolescents

These guidlines are for providing framework to create a programme and not a curriculum. The guidelines provide a
comprehensive approach to human sexuality education. It is organised in a list of topics. A need based sexuality
education programme can be generated by listing the topics along with the relevant messages.
The details and supportive information regarding topics will be found in Part I and II of this book. The messages
therein once introduced need to be reinforced repeatedly at different levels of age group.
Growth and Development

1.

Anatomy and Physiology of Reproductive System

2.

Puberty and Adolescence.

3.

Reproduction

4.

Conception and Delivery

5.

Body Image

6.

Gender Identity and Gender Role

7.

Sexual Orientation

8.

Healthy Sexuality

9.

Adolescent Sexual Behaviour

10. Masturbation

11. Shared Sexual Behaviour

12. Abstinence

13. Comparison of Male and Female Sexuality

14. Values

15. Decision Making

16. Communication

17. Assertiveness

18. Negotiation

19. Seeking Help During Distress

20. Family Relationship

21. Peer Relationship

22. Girl-Boy Relationship

23. Love

24. Marriage

25. Nutrition

26. Exercise

27. Reproductive Health

28. Family Planning

29. Sexual Abuse

30. Substance Abuse

31. Problems of Adolescents

32. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD)

33. HIV/AIDS

34. Society and Sexuality

35. Myths and Misconceptions in Sexuality

36. Sexuality and Law.

Level I : Std. VI to X Age 11 to 15 years

Level II : Junior and Senior College Age 16 to 20 years
Topic 1 : Anatomy and Physiology of Reproductive System Level - I Men have Penis, testicles, Vasa deferentia
(plural of Vas deferens.) seminal vesicles, prostate and Cowper's glands. Women have vulva, clitoris, vagina, uterus,
Fallopin tubes, overies and breasts. Maturation of internal and external organs begins at puberty. Boys begin to
ejaculate and girls begin to menstruate at puberty. Level - II Sex chromosomes determine the sex of the child.
Hormones influence growth, development as well as sexual and productive function. Man can reproduce throughout
life, while woman's ability to reproduce ceases at menopause.
Topic 2 : Puberty and Adolescence Level - I Puberty is beginning of transition from childhood to adulthood.
Reproductive organs start maturing during puberty. Human beings are able to have babies after puberty. Puberty
begins at different ages in different individuals. Girls begin to show pubertal changes earlier than boys. The girls
begin to ovulate and menstruate and the boys begin to produce sperms and ejaculate during puberty. In the boys,
testosterone hormones are responsible for hair growth on pubis and face, deep voice, growth of penis, and testes,
and production of seman. In girls oestrogen hormone is responsible for development of breasts, pubic hair, rounding

of hips and menstruation. Level - II Adolescence is the period of transition from childhood to adulthood Boys and girls
feel uncomfortable, clumsy, confuse, self- conscious and develop romantic feelings. Boys have much more sex drive
than girls and seek outlet through masturbation. Boys and girls are attracted towards each other They like to
fantacise and fall in love; they experience mood swings, some become irresponsible and stubborn. Boys can
ejaculate at any time; girls menstruate after about every twenty-eight days. Men can ejaculate throughout life. The
menstruation stops during pregnancy and after menopause at the age of about 45 years.
Topic 3 : Reproduction Level - I Reproduction means production of giving birth to new life like that of parents
Reproduction is very essential for existence of life on the earth. Two methods of reproduction in animals : "Asexual"
and "sexual." In human beings, reproduction is "sexual" and requires both a man and a woman. Men and women
have specific reproductive organs and produce specific reproductive cells. The child grows inside the uterus of a
female. Women have breasts to provide milk for the baby. Level - II Reproduction is associated with sexual
intercourse. Sexual intercourse provides pleasure. Sexual intercourse occurs when a man places his penis inside the
vagina of a woman and ejaculates semen. Sexual intercourse should take place after the marriage and is associated
with responsibilities. Sexual intercourse requires mutual consent and should be pleasurable to both. Sexual
intercourse leads to pregnancy in female. Parenting is a responsibility.
Topic 4 : Conception and Delivery Level - I Conception takes place when a sperm from man unites with a ovum in
woman. This process is called "fertilization." The menstruation stops when the conception occurs. The baby grows in
the uterus (womb) of woman for 280 days, counting from the first day of her last menstruation. The baby is supplied
oxygen and nutrition through umbilical cord. Baby comes out through the vagina of the woman. Women have breasts
to provide milk to the baby. Level - II The sperm determines the sex of the baby. The release of ovum from ovary
(called ovulation) mostly occurs midway between the menstrual periods. Ovulation can occur at any time during the
month, therefore, a woman can become pregnant anytime. Even a single intercourse can cause pregnancy.
Intercourse in standing position can also cause pregnancy. Marriage amongst blood relatives (consanguinous
marriage) increases the chances of abnormal babies. Pregnancy should occur ideally after 19 and before 35 years of
age.
Pregnant woman should avoid tobacco, alcohol, drugs and exposure to x-ray. Pregnant woman should attend
antenatal care unit periodically. She should take nutritious diet and two injections Tetanus Toxoid. Pregnancy and
delivery are physiological processes; therefore, nature assists in every respect. About 95% deliveries are normal.
Only a few need Caesarian operation. During the process of delivery, the mouth of the uterus dilates, the water bag
ruptures, the baby comes out of vagina with its head first, and lastly the umbilical cord and placenta come out. About
10 % women cannot conceive (infertility). They can be helped by medical procedure. The cause of infertility may be in
male, in female or in both. People who cannot have child can go for adoption.
Topic 5 : Body Image Level - I Image of the body affects feelings and behaviour. Individual bodies are different in
shape, size, height and colour. Male and femal bodies are different and special. The look of the body is hereditary
and therefore, depends upon the parents. All bodies are unique and special including those of disabled. Each person
can be proud of his body. Level - II The value of person is not determined by appearance. The media project beautiful
people but most people do not fit in them. The size, shape of penis or the size of breasts do not affect fertility or ability
to be a good partner for sex. Every one should accept and feel good about one's body. Physical appearance alone
should not be a measure factor in choosing a friend or a life partner.
Topic 6 : Gender Identity and Gender Role Level - I One is born a male or a female. Gender identity is a feeling "I am
a boy" or "I am a girl." Gender role is the outward expression of maleness or femaleness. Children behave as boys or
as girls by observing the behaviour of their respective gender. Level - II Boys and girls receive messages from their
family, friends society and media about how they should behave. people often expect boys and girls to behave
stereotypically. Boys and girls have many similarities and a few differences. Boys and girls share equal talents,
strength and hopes fro their future. There are no jobs that are only for boys or only for girls. Almost all adult jobs and
careers are open to men and women. Boys and girls can be friends and respect each other. Sometimes, girls receive
unequal or negative treatment because they are female. Women should be given the same opportunities as men.
Topic 7 : Sexual orientation Level - I Boys and girls grow and develop into men and women. As they grow and
develop they are attracted to other people. People fall in love with someone of opposite sex. They are called
"heterosexuals." Some men and women are attracted and fall in love with someone of the same sex. They are called
"homosexuals." "Sexual orientation"refers to whether a person is homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual (attracted to
both men and women). Homosexuals are also known as "Gay men" and "Lesbian women." A homosexual cannot be
identified by his appearance or social behaviour. Homosexuals do not admit being so because they are mistreated.
Homosexuals, bisexuals and heterosexuals are alike except for their mutual sexual attraction. Level - II People do not

choose their sexual orientation. Sexual orientation cannot be changed by therapy or medicines. A small percentage of
people in every culture are homosexuals. No one knows the definite cause of homosexuality. Theories about the
cause include genetics, prenatal influences, socio-cultural influences, psychological factors and a combination of all
these factors.
Topic 8 : Healthy Sexuality Level - I All people are sexual beings. Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of life.
Sexual feelings, fantasies and desires are natural and occur in all stages of life. Children should be encouraged to
talk to their parents about sexuality. Level - II Sexuality is more rewarding and positive when expressed in a sharing,
enhancing and non-exploitative way. Healthy sexuality enhances total well being. Sexuality is multifaceted. It has
biological, social, psychological, ethical and cultural dimension. Sexuality is an integral, joyful and natural part of
human being. Sexual functioning is equated with reproductive ability. The traditional gender roles are changing.
Topic 9 : Adolescent sexual behaviour Level - I Sexual fantasies and dreams are common and normal in
adolescence. The main sexual activity is masturbation. Some adolescents engage in petting (kissing, hugging,
necking without sexual intercourse) Some adolescents have homesexual experiences. Most adolescents with
homosexual experience do not go on to homosexual orientation in adulthood. Level - II Sexually erotic thoughts
(fantasies) are common and is a type of sexual expression. Many people's sexual fantasies include bhaviours not
actually acted upon. Some engage in sexual intercourse. The first experience of intercourse is invariably of worry,
discomfort, disappointment or guilt rather than of pleasure and intimacy. Some adolescent females find themselves
with unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. Teenage pregnancy creates psychological anguish, health risks, and social
and familial consequences.
Marriage as result of pregnancy is likely to be unhappy or end in desertion or divorce. The impact of teenage
pregnancy is nearly nil on males. Many teenagers do not know that intercourse leads to pregnancy. A single
intercourse or intercourse in standing position also can lead to pregnancy. Adolescents must show a responsible
sexual behaviour by observing abstinence from sexual intercourse or by using a contraceptive. Only condom, if
properly used, can prevent pregnancy, STD and HIV infection. Other contraceptives do not prevent STD/HIV
infection.
Topic 10 : Masturbation Level - I Touching and rubbing one's own genitals is called "Masturbation". Many boys and
some girls masturbate to experience sexual pleasure. Some boys and girls never masturbate. Masturbation is done in
private. Masturbation does not cause physical or mental harm. The frequency of masturbation varies for every
individual. Level - II Most people have masturbated at some time in their lives. Masturbation is one way a person can
enjoy and express his sexuality without risking pregnancy or STD/HIV infection. Many people find masturbation
associated with fantasies as a safe, harmless and equally pleasurable sexual outlet. Masturbation is not an addiction
forming behaviour. There are many negative myths about masturbation (e.g., it causes loss of vitality, weakness,
pimples, backache, impotence, T.B.). People who are single, married or in committed relationship may masturbate.
Topic 11 : Shared Sexual Behaviour Level - I Adults engage in sexual behaviour with one another to show caring and
to share sexual pleasure. Couples have different ways of sharing sexual pleasure Being sexual with another person
involves more than sexual intercourse. When two people express their sexual feelings, they usually give and receive
pleasure. Sexual relationship is enhanced when a couple communicates with each other about what forms of sexual
behaviour they like or dislike. A person has the right to refuse any sexual behaviour. Level - II Some sexual
expressions are prohibited by law and disapproved by the society. Disabled people have the same sexual feelings
and the same need as all people for love, affection and sexual intimacy. There are many pleasurable sexual
behaviorus without putting an individual at risk of unintended pregnancy or STD/HIV infection. Some common sexual
behaviours shared by partners include touching, hugging, kissing, caressing, massaging, bathing, oral and genital
intercourse. Individuals are responsible for their own sexual behaviour.
Topic 12 : Abstinence Level - I Most adults feel intercourse as a pleasurable activity. Teenagers are not mature
enough for sexual intercourse. Saying "NO" to sexual intercourse is the best method of preventing unwanted
pregnancy and STD/HIV. Level - II People need to respect sexual limits, set by their partner. There are several ways
of giving and receiving sexual pleasure without engaging in intercourse. Sexual intercourse is not a way to achieve
adulthood. Abstinence from intercourse has benefits for teenagers. Many adults experience periods of abstinence.
Teenage pregnancy is a physical, emotional, psychological and familial hazard. Engaging in sexual intercourse when
the partner says "NO" is a crime.
Topic 13 : Comparison of Male and Female Sexuality Level - I Man and woman are alike in many respects and
different in some respects. Men and women are equal but not similar. Nature made differences in man and woman to
serve the purpose of reproduction. Level - II The changes during sexual response are nearly similar in males and

females. Men are sexually stimulated by seeing other's sexual activity and they may react to a variety of objects
associated with their sexual activity. Women are not attracted to such stimuli. Man gives love to get sex. Woman
gives sex to get love. Sexual outlets are more in males than in females. Men like variety in sex, may seek extramarital relationship, while women have less interest in sex and are loyal to one partner. Men and women are not
opposite sexes, they are complementary sexes. Sexual preferences and sexual behaviour are not influenced by
hormones in both males and femals.
Topic 14 : Values Level - I Values are strong feelings or beliefs about important issues in life. Values decide how to
behave and interact with others. Individuals may have different values. Parents want children to develop values
similar to their values. Level - II Childern receive values from parents, members of the family, community, religious
teachings, teachers and peers. People who behave according to their values, feel good and comfortable Values
influence important decisions about friends, sexual relationship, work and money. Relationships are stronger if the
two people share similar values.
Topic 15 : Decisionmaking Level - I Everybody has to make decisions. Decisions have consequences that are
either temporary or lasting. Decision-making is a skill learnt by trial and error. Decision-making skill can be improved.
Friends influence each other's decisions. Parents and trusted adults can help children make decisions. Level - II
People need information about each choice, so as to make wise decisions. The best decision is the one that is
consistent with one's values, does not involve risking one's healh or breaking the law and has no negative social
implications. Decision about sexuality can affect one's future health and life plans. Decision to have sexual
intercourse poses risk of pregnancy and STD/HIV infection. Decision in sexual relationships have life-long effect. Use
of alcohol and drugs lead to poor decisionmaking.
Topic 16 : Communication Level - I "Communication" is sharing information, feelings and attitudes effectively with
others. Communication can be verbal, non verbal, or written. Communication is necessary in human relationship.
Many disagreements and misunderstandings in the families and friends occur because of poor communication.
Careful listening and frank speaking are required by both the parties for communication. Level - II A good
communication includes careful listening, making eye contact, sharing feelings, understanding the other person's
point of view, offering possible solutions and giving positive non verbal messages. A bad communication includes not
listing, yelling, blaming, making other person feel guilty, giving negative non-verbal messages and interrupting.
People feel uncomfortable in discussing sexuality in an open manner. Communication on sexual feelings, desires and
limits improve the sexual relationship.
Topic 17 : Assertiveness Level - I Assertiveness is communicating feelings and needs while respecting rights of
others. Everyone has rights. Assertiveness is a skill and can be learnt and improved. It is all right to tell about one's
feelings and needs. Assertiveness is different than aggressiveness or passiveness. Most women and childern are not
assertive in our culture. Men and women should be assertive. Level - II Assertive behaviour includes being honest,
direct and spontaneous in communicating feelings and needs, using assertive body language, speaking for oneself,
and taking responsibilities for one's feelings and needs. In assertive response the individual gives reason for saying
"NO", suggests an alternative, stands straight, maintains eye contact, speaks clearly and sounds confident. Assertive
people are respected and have better relationship. People have right to refuse any request for any sexual behaviour
or use of alcohol, tobacco and drugs. Successful people are assertive in their personal and work relationship. Sexual
partners need to communicate clearly about their needs and limits.
Topic 18 : Negotiation Level - I Negotiation allows people to solve problems or resolve a conflict. Negotiation requires
give and take on the part of both the persons. Negotiation is a way to get one's need met without using anger, guilt or
intimidation. Negotiation works best when a problem or a conflict is addressed in its early stages. Good negotiation
can enhance relationships. Level - II Effective negotiation requires certain skills such as a) careful observation of the
person b) use of positive body language c) good verbal communication d) imagining oneself in other person's position
e) identifying all the options in a situation f) reaching a mutual agreement To negotiate one must decide what
alternatives can be accepted and what issues cannot be compromised. Many relationships and sexual concerns can
be resolved through negotiation.
Topic 19 : Seeking help during distress Level - I People with problems seek help from family, friends or professionals
If parents can't help, one should ask teacher, clergy, or another trusted adult. Counsellors, Doctors, Psychologists,
Psychiatrists, Advocates can help. Community agencies also provide help. Level - II It is difficult for people to admit
that they need help. Some communities have telephone crisis line (help line) so that people can talk to someone
about their problem. Some families face problems, such as alcohol, drugs, money, sex, violence, abuse etc. The
services provided include counselling, education, therapy, legal assistance, family planning, foster care etc. To seek
professional help can be a sign of strength.

Topic 20 : Family Relationship Level - I A family could be large and extended or could be of two people. Family
members take care of each other. Family members love and support each other. Family members have rules to help
people live together. Family members have rights and responsibilities, values and ethics. Level - II Family plays
important role in personality development. When crisis occurs family members need to support each other. Members
of the family sometimes disagree, but continue to love each other. Conflicts in the family are normal. Every member
should create more sunshine than thunder. Communication in the family is important.
Topic 21 : Peer Relationship Level - I Friends spend time together and get to know each other. Friendship needs
honesty, sincerity, loyalty, acceptance and common interests. Friends can help each other. Friends can be either male
or female. Friends sometimes feel angry or hurt each other's feelings but they forgive each other. Level - II Group
activities allow teenagers to learn about others. Friendships are necessary to feel good about themselves. For close
friendship one has to offer love, time, energy and commitment to others. Friendship could be positive or negative.
When adolescents allow their friends to decide things for them, it is called "Peer pressure." Saying "NO" to peer
pressure requires courage. If the friendship is negative, create a positive change or end the friendship.
Topic 22 : Girl-Boy Relationship: Level - I Boys and girls can have friends of both genders. Wide circle of friends of
both gender help development of personality and better understanding of opposite sex. Girl-boy relationship is more
of friendship rather than intimacy. Meeting for boys and girls for exchange of views and ideas is usually encouraged
by parents and teachers. Level - II Meeting in groups rather than singly, preferably at homes is encouraged. Learn the
concepts about the member of the opposite sex. Clear up the fallacies and prejudices. Teenagers should avoid single
dates. Do not expect every relationship to end in marriage. If a friend is leading you to behave in a way that will harm
you, be courageous to break off the friendship. Falling in love is no crime, but should be a timely and a mature
decision.
Topic 23 : Love Level - I Love means having deep and warm feelings for some one. People are capable of giving and
receiving love. Loving relationships are of many types. People express love differently to parents, children, friends
and to spouse. Loving relationships are important throughout the life. Level - II Love is not the same as sexual
attraction (infatuation). It is natural to be infatuated towards a person of the opposite sex during the adolescence.
Love glorified through the media is, in reality, infatuation. If infatuation-relationship culminates into marriage, it often is
difficult to survive. Love relationship is honest, sincere, loyal and long lasting. Not all teenagers or adults fall in love or
date.
Topic 24 : Marriage Level - I Marriage is a social and legal commitment that two people make to share their lives and
family responsibilities. People choose the person they want to marry. In some cultures parents choose the partner.
People who marry intend to have lifelong relationship People who marry are committed to love one another, live
together, help and support each other. Both partners decide how to share roles and responsibilities in their lives.
Marriage partners require characteristices such as friendship, shared values, similar interests and goals, mutual
support, loyalty, sexual attraction, and ability to adjust and solve the problems. Efforts are required to make the
marriage work. People have childern after the marriage as and when desired. Level - II Legal age for marriage is 18
years for girls and 21 years for boys. Marriage at early age, can affect one's future health and life plans. Height,
external appearance, horoscope matching, caste, love/arranged marriage do not attribute much for the success of
marriage.
Continued committment, love, sharing and caring for each other help marriage survive. Matching of blood groups of
partners need not be a prerequisite for marriage. Physical and mental health should be sound for getting married.
Individuals who were loved by their parents in their childhood, who have had happily married parents, make their
marriage happy and love the partner. To assess the compatibility and to know each other well, the two individuals
must meet at each other's home frequently before marriage. People get married for love, parenthood, sexual
satisfaction, security, support and companionship.
After engagement (or during courtship), and before marriage, time should be used to find out the attitudes, values,
similarities and differences about each other. They must come to terms in issues like housing, food habbits, hobbies,
in-laws, financial budgeting, plans, goals, household chores, children (when and how many) women's freedom and
career etc. Both must get information about sexual act, since failure is a rule on the first wedding night and may lead
to disappointment, frustration or misunderstanding. There is no proved sign of virginity in a woman or in a man. In a
combined family (and in arranged marriage) it may take a year or two to build up relationship and to make
adjustments. Perfection and idealism is seen only in novels and films. No marriage can be perfect. Partners of today
will be parents of tomorrow. They need to have qualities of good parents, i.e., ability to love and protect, discipline
and forgive, be honest and regularit. Marriage is not for everyone. It is not compulsory that everyone should marry. If
the marriage does not work inspite of all efforts, divorce is the answer.

Topic 24 : Nutrition Levels - I and II Adolescents need good nutrition. Adolescents should take food frequently. The
diet should include cereals, pulses, milk, egg, fruit, fish, mutton, vegetables, roots, nuts, sugar, vegetable oil, fats.
Adolescents should take less of chocolates, ice-creams and cold drinks. Steamed food (e.g., Idli), is better than fried
food. Milk, egg, groundnuts, jaggery, soyabeans and gram contain good amount of nutrients.
Topic 25 : Physical Exercise Level - I Boys and girls under 14 years need to take part in outdoor sports, plays,
running, climbing or swimming for their physical fitness. Level - II Adolescent boys and girls above 14 years need
exercise for physical fitness. The four components of exercise are 1) cardio-respiratory efficiency, 2) flexibility of
joints, 3) endurance and 4) power of muscles. Jogging, running, cycling, swimming improves cardio-respiratory
efficiency. Yoga and swimming improves flexibility of joints. Sit ups, push ups, weight lifting, Bull Worker improve
endurance and power of muscles.
Topic 27 : Reproductive Health Level - I Boys and girls should keep their genitals clean. Smoking, drinking and
substance use are harmful. Teenage pregnancy is harmful to the mother and to the child and hence should be
avoided. Level - II After breast development, girls should self examine breasts every month. While cleaning girls
should first wash the genitals prior to cleaning of the anus. Boys should retract foreskin of penis and clean the
smegma on the glans. During pregnancy, the women should take nutritious diet (milk, cereals, pulses daal, jaggery,
vegetables, nuts and fruits), go to the doctor for periodic check up, keep the body clean, take two Tetanus Toxoid
injections and avoid drugs, tobacco, alcohol, x-ray.
Genetic abnormality in the family, if any, should be informed to the doctor. A woman has a right to terminate the
unwanted pregnancy. Termination of pregnancy (abortion) before 10 weeks is much safer than termination done later.
Abortion is to be done at the medical centre approved by the government. Abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy is
illegal. A pregnat woman who does not want a baby can give the child for adoption when born. Persons in Fertility
problems, having desire to have a child, have several medical options. Abortion should not be used as a method of
contraception. STD/HIV infection can result in damage/death of the unborn/newly born baby.
Topic 28 : Family Planning Level - I Family planning includes several topics concerning family welfare. However, it is
loosely used for contraception. Contraception enables people to have sexual intercourse without unintended
pregnancy. All children are loved. The aim of contraception is to have children as and when required. Decisions about
having children is based on age, income, accommodation, time and personal wishes. Level - II There are several
different methods of contraception. Condom (for males), Copper T and Pill (for females) are reliable methods that are
used for postponing pregnancy and for spacing between two childern. Each contraceptive method has advantages
and disadvantages. The use of contraception and the method of contraception should be talked to the partner. While
choosing the contraceptive, people should consult their doctor to find out most suitable contraceptive for them.
People should choose contraceptive method that they will use effectively and consistently. Condom can also be used
to prevent transmission of STD/HIV. Pills and Copper T do not help in preventing transmission of STD/HIV.
Topic 29 : Sexual abuse Level - I A person's body belongs to him. Every one has a right to tell others not to touch
his/her body when he/she does not want to be touched. No adult should thouch childs sexual parts except for health
reasons by a doctor or for giving a bath by a parent. Sexual abuse occurs when an older, stronger, more powerful
person touches a child's genitals. The perpetrator may telll the child to keep the behaviour secret, but the child should
tell about it to a trusted adult (parent). If a stranger tries to get a child to go with him, the child should leave quickly
and inform the parent, teacher, neighbour or a trusted adult.
A child is never at fault when sexually abused. Both, boys and girls, can be sexually abused. Level - II Sexual abuse
is common, though many do not want to talk about it. Sexual abuse is most often committed by some one known to
or related to the person. Rape is sexual intercourse with a woman against her wish and without her consent. Sexual
intercourse with a woman even with her consent amounts to rape when: The consent is obtained by putting her in
fear of death; The consent is given under the influence of alcohol or drug. The consent is given by a woman under
the age of 16 years. Rape is a crime. The survivor (victim) often knows the rapist. People who are raped are not at
fault. Not all rapes can be prevented. People can help protect themselves against the possibility of rape by learning
self defence, assessing situations that may be dangerous, avoiding alcohol and drugs and developing assertive skills.
Victims of rape and sexual abuse should seek prompt medical attention. People who are sexually abused may suffer
serious emotional difficulties and need support and treatment.
Topic 30 : Substance abuse Level - I "Substance" is a name given to alcohol, tobacco and drugs. Tobacco smoking
leads to cough, cramps, palpi-tation,loss of appetite, lung cancer or gangrene. Alcohol is addictive, alters the mind,
impairs health, produces ulcers in the intestine. tremors, cirrhosis of liver and death. Level - II Marijuana (Pot,
Hashish) harms brain cells. It alters personality. Heroin (Brown sugar), Methedrine, Mandrex, Cocaine are some of

the drugs abused. All these are addictive, harmful to the body and mind, and lead to death. Substance abuse related
suicides and accidents are common in adolescents. Substance abuse leads to repeated failures in school
examinations, school drop outs, crimes and ill health. Adolescents should develop assertiveness skill and say "NO" to
negative peer pressure. Adolescents' best defence against drug abuse is a loving supportive family. People involved
in substance abuse should seek professional help.
Topic 31 : Problems of the Adolescents Level - I Getting pregnant before marriage is a social stigma. Pregnancy at
13 years is possible, but teenage pregnancy leads to illhealth of mother and child. Small and large breasts are
normal. Menstrual periods are irregular in early years of adolescence. Some girls get pain in lower abdomen and
become emotionally disturbed before or during the menstruation. A colourless odourless discharge through vagina is
normal after puberty. Wet dreams are normal in boys. Penises are in all sizes. Swelling of male breasts at puberty is
normal and subsides without treatment. Level - II Masturbation is a normal and healthy sexual outlet in boys and girls.
Many girls are unaware that insertion of penis in vagina and ejaculation of semen therein is called "intercourse" and
that it leads of pregnancy.
Getting pregnant during adolescence is risky. It hampers personal growth and development of personality and career.
Breasts are for the production of milk for the babies. Smaller breasts also produce enough milk. Menstrual cycle
remains irregular during adolescence. Cycles of 21 to 35 days and bleeding for 2 to 6 days are normal. Irritability,
tired feeling, nausea, white discharge, pain in lower abdomen, backache, tender breasts just before menstruation or
thereafter are normal symptoms. Pimples (acne) should not be squeezed. Keep the face clean. Nutritious diet and
fresh air helps. Pornographic films and literature misinform and misguide the adolescents. Loving, understanding and
supportive family is adolescent's best defence against adolescent problems like school drop out, addiction or suicide.
Topic 32 : Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) Level - I STDs are caused by bacteria and viruses. STDs include
the diseases such as Syphilis, Gonorrhoea, Chancroid, LGV, Granuloma Inguinal, Herpes Progenitalis and Venereal
warts. STDs are acquired only through sexual intercourse with infected person. A person can acquire more than one
STD Masturbation or hugging does not cause STD. Level - II STD can be acquired through vaginal, oral or anal
intercourse with the infected person. By just looking at the person it is not possible to determine whether he/she has
STD. The signs of STD sometimes remain hidden, absent or unnoticed especially in women.
Symptoms of STD include genital discharge, ulcer on the genitals, burning at urination, genital itching, swelling of
lymph glands in the groins. Persons suffering from STD should promptly see the doctor and take complete treatment.
Most STDs can be cured. Person having STD should stop sexual intercourse so as to prevent infection to others.
Proper use of condom can greatly reduce the chance of getting STD but cannot eliminate the risk. Abstinence from
sexual intercourse is the right way to avoid STD. Using public latrin, utenils, or clothes of infected persons does not
transmit STD.
Topic 33 : HIV/AIDS Level - I "HIV" means Human Immunodeficiency Virusthe name of the organism that causes
HIV infection. "AIDS" means Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, a group of symptoms that arise as a result of
HIV infection. When HIV infection has done enough damage to the body, other diseases invade and is called AIDS.
The virus remains in blood and is excreted through body fluids like semen and vaginal fluid. Person with HIV infection
looks normal for a long time and can infect others. Level - II HIV infection is transmitted through sexual intercourse
(oral, anal or vaginal), blood transfusion, sharing unsterile needles and through mother to the child. The blood test for
detecting presence of HIV/AIDS is called ELISA Test. Person with HIV infection shows no symptoms for 2 to 10
years.
Person with AIDS has symptoms such as tiredness, fever, loss of appetite, loss of weight, diarrhoea, night sweats,
swollen lymph glands. He may suffer from herpes, pneumonia, tuberculosis or thrush. There is no cure for HIV/AIDS
though some medicines can slow the development of the disease. Proper use of condom can greatly reduce the
chance of getting HIV infection, but does not eliminate the risk.
Abstinence from sexual intercourse is the best way to avoid HIV infection. Masturbation, hugging, kissing does not
cause HIV/AIDS Touching or shaking hands with HIV infected person, using his utensils or clothes or toilet seat does
not transmit HIV infection. HIV infection is not spread by insects. Giving blood does not cause AIDS.
Topic 34 : Society and Sexuality Level - I Every culture communicates norms and taboos about sexuality. Boys and
girls receive messages from their family, friends, media and society about how they should behave as boys or as
girls. Attitudes about proper behaviour for boys and girls differ amongst different cultures. Boys and girls have many
similarities and a few differences. Every society has diversity of sexual attitudes and behaviour. Considering several

influences that shape the sexuality of an individual, a great variance in sexual attitudes, values and behaviour exists.
All people should receive fair and equal treatment. Level - II It is important to understand the diversity of views about
sexuality. People need to communicate their views on sexual values and beliefs to their partners in order to negotiate
behaviour that are acceptable. People sometimes are discriminated because of sexuality factors like gender, sexual
orientation, appearance, or living arrangements.
Discrimination can lead to lower self esteem, unequal opportunities and stress. The media have a profound effect on
sexual information, values and behaviour. Religious views about sexuality affect people's sexual attitudes. Many
religions, cultures teach that sexual intercourse should occur only after marriage. Social problems related to sexuality
are: teenage pregnancy, STD and HIV / AIDS infection, gender discrimination, premium on virginity, child marriages,
dowry deaths, sexual abuse, quackery, prostitution and Deodasees. Cultivation of values like gender equality,
freedom, respect for others and sexuality education would minimise the sexuality related social problems.
Topic 35 : Myths and Misconceptions in Sexuality Level - I Sex is considered as obscene. Therefore, it is not publicly
discussed. This leads to ignorance. Ignorance leads to myths and misconceptions. Information from friends regarding
sexuality may not be scientific. Level - II Pornorgraphic books and blue films do not provide scientific information on
sexuality. Myths and misconceptions about sexuality are propagated from generation to generation. There are
misconceptions about breasts, genitals, menstruation, semen, fertility, contraceptives, intercourse, STD, HIV and
many others. Myths and misconceptions are not harmless. They may cause anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, sexual
dysfunction, marital disharmony, depression, suicide or homicide. Some may become victims of quacks and
pornography that further enhance misconceptions.
Topic 36 : Sexuality and Law Level - II Consent for sexual relationship given by an individual under the age of 16
years in not valid. The legal age for marriage is 21 years for boys and 18 years for girls. People have the right to
make personal decisions concerning abortion, contraception, sterilization and other reproductive matters. Incest
(sexual activity between family members) is illegal. Medical termination of pregnancy (abortion) is legal up to 20
weeks of pregnancy. It should be done at government approved medical centres. Prostitution is illegal. Producing and
possessing obscene materials is illegal. Obscene materials are defined as those that violate community standards of
decency and without having any social, artistic or scientific merit. People have different viewpoint on what is
obscene.
Sexual abuse is a crime. Rape is a severely punishable offence. Oral and anal intercourse are illegal in this country.
Sexual deviations like sadism, fetichism, exhibitionism, voeyeurism, Frotteurism are crimes under Indian Penal Code.
Taking dowry, dowry deaths, cruelty to wife, amniocentesis for sex detection of foetus, abortion of female foetus,
infanticide are crimes.
(Adapted from "Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education by National Guidelines Force, published by
Sexuality Information and Education Council of U.S.)