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GAD 502 Students

Debbie Ghosh, Instructor
September 14, 2015
Outlining a speech

On Monday, I will ask you to sit with another classmate to discuss outlining a speech. This assignment is
an adaptation of one that I have used in GAD 501. Your emphasis, however, will be on painting a vivid
picture of A SMALL PORTION of the event while maintaining the unity of the presentation. You will
also be working on ways to inform and to interest the audience simultaneouslya sort of edutainment.
Eventually, of course, you will be giving the speech.
1. Focus on a special event or ceremony. Some are listed below, but the list is not exhaustive.
Baby shower
Baptism
Reciting adhan/iqamah to newborn child
First rice
Hindu thread ceremony Bar mitzah
First communion
Graduation
Wedding
Birthday party
Eid al-Fitr
Funeral
Initiation
Inauguration
New Year
Dragon Boat Festival Moon Festival
Christmas
Easter
Yom Kippur
Valentines Day
Halloween
Thanksgiving
Independence Day
First day of kindergarten Quinceanara
La Merce
Homecoming
Getting a drivers license Getting the first paycheck
Going to summer camp Rakhsha Bandhan
2. Then think of fragments or segments of these celebrations.
Giving red envelopes on Chinese New Year
Opening gifts Christmas morning
Flying kites from rooftops
Scary stories around a bonfire
Changing the tassle on the mortarboard
Correfoc

Giving baksheesh on Eid al-Fitr

Hunting Easter eggs
Watching fireworks
Taking a sacred oath
Breaking a piata
Eating thousand-year-old eggs

3. Imagine an audience unfamiliar with your topic. What is essential to explain? What can be
omitted? What might they already know about the subject? We decided on an audience of CSU
graduate studentsbut not from your native culture / religion / tradition, so both descriptions and
analogies will be needed for them to feel immersed in your speech. Describe your audience.
4. Imagine how addressing that particular audience will affect your speech. Describe some of the
wayscharacteristics and how you will adapt to them.
5. Think of a WORKING THESIS. This is just to get you started. Your thesis will almost
inevitably change as you develop your speech. Write your working thesis.
6. Think of an inviting opening. Dont introduce yourself or announce your topic or use a trite
quotation. What will you say that will make the audience want to listen to you?
7. What points do you need to cover? Because this is a description, you will want to include
sensory details. Stay away from abstracts. Focus on specifics. If the reader was with you just

before midnight on New Years Eve, as the time was counted down, what would she see? What
would he smell, taste, touch, hear? Be vivid.
8. Your speech begins with an interesting lead and moves to a thesis and a preview of points. You
develop three categories of detail, following the same order and offering lots of images. Your
conclusion must review what is said and restate the thesis AND the interesting openingbut not
in the same words. How will the conclusion be different?
My general topic: Thanksgiving
That is much too broad for a short speech. I want to make my topic narrow enough that I can cover it
completely in a few minutes. I might focus on the rituals surrounding preparing the feast. I might focus
on the men dozing in front of televised football games as the women wash and dry piles of dirty dishes. I
might discuss the ever-earlier intrusion of Black Friday. I cant possibly discuss all aspects of
Thanksgiving, and some historical detail would be dull. I need to choose just a fragment of the holiday
and to keep my description personal rather than global.
I decide to focus on the family ritual of standing in a circle before we begin the Thanksgiving dinner,
holding hands while we pray and each one names a blessing for which she is grateful. That seems narrow
enough, personal enough, and possibly interesting enough for this assignment. I know, though, that my
speech will evolve as I prepare it. I recognize that I will need to draft more than one outline.
My WORKING thesis: Although you may find the ritual odd, old-fashioned, and even uncomfortable,
you might find it meaningful actually to give thanks on Thanksgiving Day, as my family does.
Again, writing is a form of exploration. I know that once I have finished my outline, I may need to adjust
my thesis. Once I have written my first draft, I may need to adjust it again.
So far, though, I have decided to outline a comparison/contrast speech in which I describe the feelings of
unease and then the benefit of the ritual. Ive decided to address my audience directly and familiarly, as
you.
My intended audience: I will be speaking to both Americans and non-Americans and to both religious
listeners and those who do not claim a faith. I will address my CSU colleagues. Because my listeners are
likely to be familiar with Thanksgiving, I do not have to define the term or give much background about
the holiday. Because they are educated, I can use sophisticated vocabulary. Because they may not be
spiritual or may find public discussion of prayer distasteful, I need to be sensitive. There may be
resistance to my message. Those who have different religious convictions may feel excluded or judged,
so I need to bear this in mind as well..
Targeting my intended audience: To minimize offense to others, I will avoid language that sounds
judgmental. I will avoid should and must in my descriptions. I will remind myself to describe rather
than preach. My colleagues, though, are almost all family folks. I will assume that we share a desire to
build closeness within the family.
My structure:

Begin with an attention-getting opening. Maybe a series of declarative sentences? It isnt about
football. It isnt about parades. It isnt about grabbing bargains.. It isnt even really about the
food. Thats all part of it. In my family, though, Thanksgiving is a day to pause our usual
routines and to make time to be grateful.

Then I will give some version of the thesis and QUICKLY describe our family ritual. I will
subtly let the listeners know that I will be talking about how strange some people might find our
tradition and how retro it is. I will also let them know that, despite those aspects, we hang on to
the practice because it connects us to one another and to our deeper selves.
First point: Holding hands while standing in a circle makes outsiders fidgetand some of the
relatives, too. I will describe the reluctance to form the circle, the hesitation in taking the hand of
someone else, the lack of eye contact during the whole process. I want to make my listeners see
how uncomfortable the ritual can be. I also will say something about how hungry we are and
how good the food smells, how beautiful the table looks.
Second point: The nature of Thanksgiving has changed so much that our ceremony seems
antique. Here I will mention the new features of Thanksgivingthe parades, football games,
door-buster sales. I will describe the blare of the television, the ringing cell phones, the wailing
kids and other distractions.
Third point: Our ritual is worthwhile for us becomes something changes during those few
moments when we speak our gratitude aloud. I will mention some of the blessings that have been
mentioned and how sharing them makes them more present and real. I will mention how
something shifts inside each speaker.
Transition to conclusion: I will describe how quickly the spell is broken, how the women scurry
to the kitchen, how the kids push and whine, how the men joke, how the plates and silverware
clatter, how the mouths water.
I will conclude by saying that, despite the return to normality, something special lingers. Its a
tradition because we still honor it and feel enriched by it. I will agreeagainthat it is neither
modern nor comfortable.
I will echo my opening my saying that all the elements I mentioned at the outset can be part of
Thanksgiving, just as dressing accompanies the turkey. I will close my saying that its important
to remember which part of the mealand the holidayprovides most nourishment.

Outline Peer Review

Name of the outline's author ________________________________________
Name of the writing coach giving feedback ____________________________
1. Does this outline respond appropriately to the assignment? How? Suggest improvements, if
needed.

2. Is the thesis sentence a strong one? Is it a real thesis and not a topic or a sentence fragment? Is it
arguable? Is it narrow? Is it interesting? Can it be supported with evidence?
If it is strong, explain why. If it could be strengthened, point out how.

3. Is the level of detail appropriate? What has been left out that you feel should be included? What
has been included that seems unnecessary?

4. Are there three supporting points? What are they? How do they connect to the thesis statement?
How do they connect to one another?

5. Put the outline aside. What do you remember best? What was described most vividly?

6. At which points might the audience be confused or lose interest? Be specific.

7. What unanswered questions do you have about the points? What would you like to know?

8. Is the outline adjusted to the intended audience? How?

9. What did you like best about this topic/thesis/outline?

10. What was weakest? How would you suggest improving the weakness? (Nothing and I dont
know are unacceptable responses!)

11.

Summarize this outline in three or four sentences. By doing this and sharing the summary with the
author, the author can judge how successful the outline is in expressing the intent.