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Shelbey Sparrow
Professor Robert Arnold
UWRT 1101-073
11 September 2015
Personal Literacy Narrative
Since my parents were officially divorced by the time I was two, I struggled
with the idea of love for a very long time. How could two people think they loved
each other enough to conceive a child only to be broken up within a year? It didnt
make sense and the struggle of this concept haunted me for a quite some time. It
wasnt until August 21, 2015, Move-in day, that I felt like I had truly mastered the
concept and ideas of love. As I stood in my new room in Hawthorn hall and kissed
my mom, dad, step mom, and grandparents goodbye I realized that love is
expressed in all different ways and that I was literate in so many different kinds of
love.
Learning to love my mom, dad, step mom, and grandparents, or my 5
parental units, all differently was quite a challenge. Each of them have different
love languages and express and feel love differently. My mom, for example, has to
take care of people in order to express her love. She likes to know everything thats
going on and how I feel about every situation Im in. As Im sure you understand,
this is an annoying trait to most teenagers. I did not have the desire to tell my mom
everything about what was going on and would often reply with snippy remarks
such as Its none of your business quit asking. I did this for quite a few years until
one time I went a little too far and she burst into tears. She looked at me and said
all I care about is that you are being taken care of and being treated as the
wonderful person that you are. At that moment, I realized that thats what she
needed for her to feel love from me. She needed me to tell her about things so she

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felt like I wanted her involved. So from then on, in order to express love to my
mother I had to keep her involved. I found it easier to just go ahead and tell her
whats going on instead of making her ask. She seemed to be a lot more content
with our relationship after I started sharing things with her, even if it was just the
little things, such as me not being confident about the calculus test I had taken or
what I had for lunch.
My dad on the other hand, does not show emotion on a normal basis in any
way, whether it be love, hate or just happiness. It took me up until I was 10 to think
he even had emotions. One night about 8 years ago, my dad and step mom got into
a huge argument and she packed up some of her stuff and left. I, being very close
with my step mom at the time, was very distraught. I sat on my bed and cried
thinking she was never going to come back. At one point, my dad came in to check
on me and I recall throwing a stuffed animal at him and screaming that it was his
fault she was gone. He didnt take this as I thought he would, expecting him to just
shrug it off and not care. He walked further into my room sat on my bed and burst
into tears. Feeling awful about the situation, I crawled over next to him and hugged
him then apologized. Through his tears, he whispered I might have just lost my
second favorite girl, I dont need to lose my first favorite also. This coming from a
man who doesnt even say love you at the end of a phone conversation,
completely and utterly broke me. From then on out I had a solid understanding of
my dads emotions. They did exist. Just not in the way that most peoples did. My
dad didnt need much to feel loved and appreciated, but when dramatic things
happened he needed a little pat on the back, and not a shove in the wrong direction
like I had given him that night. Now, my dad and step mom have two beautiful kids
and Ive still never seen him cry like that, not even on the day of their birth.

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With both my parents I had an enlightening moment that made me realize
what I needed to do to make them feel loved at all times. My step mom was a
different story. We had a great relationship until my freshman year of high school.
My dad and step mom had asked how I felt about going to live with them, and doing
what any freshman girl would do I chose to stay at that high school I was already at
and continue to live with my mom. Even though they had asked for my opinion,
they chose to take my mom to court for custody anyway. I was very upset and felt
completely betrayed. Up until this point I would have heart-to-heart conversations
with my step mom whenever I was feeling down or had gotten into an argument
with my mother. This all back fired when we got to court, because everything I had
confided in her was used against me. In the end I got what I wanted and was able to
stay with my mom, but my relationship with my step mom was completely in
shambles. We didnt even utter hellos when we saw each other. It took me a long
time to realize that my step mom was doing what she felt was right for me and not
just being evil. She was expressing her love for me by doing what she felt was
necessary to protect me even if it hurt my feelings. This made me literate in
another aspect of love, tough love. I now have to use this with my little siblings all
the time. Even if itll make them upset, I must pull them away from sticking their
finger in the electrical socket to keep them safe. My step mom was trying to pull me
away from what she thought was dangerous.
Finally one of my last sponsors of my love literacy is my grandparents.
Theyve showed me what unconditional love is for a significant other. Theyve never
been incredibly showy with their public affection, but about a month ago I was
packing for college and they both just disappeared. I finished what I was doing and
went downstairs to look for them, and what I came to find was heartbreaking and

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uplifting all in one. My grandma was laying on her bed pale white and looking sickly
and my grandfather was tearing up while holding a towel to her head. Later I asked
my grandpa what had happened and he said that she suddenly fell faint and needed
to rest. I brought up how upset he looked and with tears in his eyes he said I
couldnt imagine my life without her and taking care of her like that made me
realize how quickly she could fall ill. This showed me how unconditional their love
was and taught me what its like to love someone in that way.
Even though all of these people taught me love in their various ways, they
dont agree with each other in any way what so ever. However, they all agreed to
help me move in to my dorm together. This was an odd situation and put me in a lot
of rough spots throughout the day. I was trying to listen to everyones input and
make everyone happy. Eventually when I finally finished they were all standing
around and chit chatting to one another and me and everything Ive done. Each one
of them with a smile on their faces and proud words coming out of their mouths. I
looked back at all of them and noticed that they had all put their differences aside
to help me celebrate an important milestone in my life, because they loved me.
Over the course of my life Ive learned people love differently and show it differently
and that you have to adjust to each person to show love the way that they prefer.